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Pegging vs Solo Dildoing
  • mdadmdad
    Posts: 139
    I have had great success with my Aneros this year. I've also become greatly intrigued by pegging to see if I can get more anal orgasms (I think I already get them occasionally, and they are wonderful). But before I ask my wife to do this (she would if I asked), I want to know how different solo dildoing is from pegging. I don't NEED my wife to do it; if I could accomplish stimulation solo I'd be happy to give her a free pass (like I said, she'd do it if I wanted but her enthusiasm level isn't high in the matter). Therefore, I want to try dildoing myself first. So my question is how much am I missing here? Is it like masturbation where touching yourself isn't nearly as good as having a partner do it for you? Is it the same if I get the kind that "hooks" into the wall or floor?

    And for what it's worth, I get NOTHING out of slipping my Progasm in and out. Will dildoing/pegging be different? Does extra girth matter? Like I said, I experience lots of pleasure with my Aneros, but the in/out movement of my Progasm doesn't do much at all. I'm hoping for more stimulation with the correct tools. Or is penetration just not for me?
  • xtimedt69xtimedt69
    Posts: 578
    I will be interested in seeing what responses you get. I have wondered what the chick would even get out of it.
  • BigOluverBigOluver
    Posts: 230
    As a gay man girth is always bigger. But a dildo will give you a different feeling then a aneros toy. The dildo will be hard to locate the prostate. With kegeling I think you will be able to have anal orgasms with the dildo but get a small one or a butt plug for starters. Work slow and have fun.
  • PspotsquirterPspotsquirter
    Posts: 467
    It is not pegging unless a woman is involved ( with a harnessed dildo or a harness free dildo attached to her). It will not be hard to locate your prostate with a dildo. If your Progasm is not working for you, a dildo or pegging may not catapult you into outer space. If your wife is non-enthusiastic regarding pegging, she will abandon you at the alter of peggery, when the time comes. Are you trying to say the Progasm is not a correct tool? Aneros are designed specifically for prostate stimulation and prostate health. Ergo, any Aneros is a correct tool. Perhaps your eyeballs are bigger than your asshole. Hell!! Buy a Mr Swirly Dildo, and get back to us. Lol

  • devajonesdevajones
    Posts: 149
    @mdad Ok finally a thread i can weigh in on.  My view is yes you will get some good sensations from using a dildo on yourself.  Will you orgasm from them IDK.  In my experience I can never really reach my gspot that well...however a partner can reach it and stimulate it perfectly manually or with his penis.  I would venture to say it will be the same for you and if you use a dildo on yourself, or have your wife peg you.  Have you ever wondered if maybe her desire for it isnt high because she hasnt tried it??? She may grow a desire for it if she is drilling you right and she sees the bliss you are in....just a thought.  

    Bottom line, yes it will be different, you are able to surrender to your sensations during a good pegging, where as if you have to manipulate the device you will have to use some of your focus for that.  Not only that you'll have your wife there.  You can touch her look at her kiss her etc....i would think she should add a lot to the sexual experience for you.  Dont be so pessimistic about what you think she may or may not like...there are lots of things in life one starts out not liking then changes their mind.  I'm a woman i can attest to how much a woman has mood swings or a change of opinion...use that to your advantage.  Just about anything is possible with a woman if you get her aroused enough... Good luck!
  • mdadmdad
    Posts: 139
    Well, even before I broach the subject, I'd still like to practice first so it's not as painful. If it's anything like the first time I put my Progasm in, then I'll need to go slow! And if that pain is anything like what a woman has to go through for penetration with a bigger partner, then I have sympathy. Although... The pain was kind of nice... I kind of liked the struggle...

    I definitely want my wife involved at some point. But I want to be better at it before I try it. If you say she will get turned on from watching me in pleasure, then I don't want her first time to be watching me in pain.

    I'm thinking about something with a suction cup at the end. Maybe I can use that easier.
  • PspotsquirterPspotsquirter
    Posts: 467
    You should ask Ruby Ryder. She's the expert of all things related to pegging . If catch Canacan on the chat, talk to him. He is a wellspring of information.
  • devajonesdevajones
    Posts: 149
    @mdad lol....i would hope she would go slow with you and not try to rip you a new one.  However yes I would suggest something with a suction cup...works great on a shower wall or floor (i have a few myself)...be imaginative.  Yes I think you should get comfortable with toys that have a little more girth...it would make the process go easier, smart thinking.  As far as pain with a larger partner...scroll down and read the post entitled Finally... it all boils down to relaxation regardless if it is a woman or a man.  I never had pain anally or vaginally unless somebody was an asshole and had no regard for me...but then again all of that boils down to state of arousal and relaxation.  Let us know how it turns out! I'm sure you'll have more fun than you bargained for.
  • PspotsquirterPspotsquirter
    Posts: 467
    @mdad
    You should read the Pegging thread, and you should go to Ruby Ryder's website. She recommends starting out with something reasonably sized (6" long by 1.25 in diameter- no larger). And if a man has more difficulty
    opening to accept a toy, 5.5" by 1". But nothing shorter than a 5.5" or 6".
  • darwindarwin
    Posts: 1,263
    There was a thread recently started by Love_is, I believe, about training your sphincter to relax and open.

    Do it by gently making love to your hole with the dildo, teasing it to accept and open.   It might take multiple sessions before it is persuaded.   You want it to start recognizing that it will receive pleasure not pain by this big thing.

    Darwin
  • mdadmdad
    Posts: 139
    @devajones: Holy crap. Did you write that? It was one of the most erotic things I've ever read.

    Start slow. Check. Definitely going to do that. Can't wait to try. And I promise, I won't underestimate my wife! If it feels good, I'll definitely get her to peg me for real.
  • mdadmdad
    Posts: 139
    @darwin: Good point. I think it will be pretty easy to get myself to accept it. I already experience prostate pleasure, so I think my mind will cooperate!

    @Pspotsquirter: Thanks for tips.

  • xtimedt69xtimedt69
    Posts: 578
    I am interested in this. Not sure how to get sweetie interested. Getting all the right things aligned.

    @devajones is right under the right conditions a woman will do just about anything.
  • devajonesdevajones
    Posts: 149
    @mdad...yes I did....and its not fiction either.  Keep tabs on my blog as I recently did some pegging.  I have a pegging fantasy going up today...later will be the real pegging story.  I truly appreciate your compliments, I dont take them lightly as I'm overly critical of my own writing.  I'm glad to hear that you are venturing out and exploring things that you most likely will find pleasurable (especially if you already find your aneros use pleasurable).

    @xtimedt69 you are definitely right about that.  I think most men forget it is totally about presentation when it comes to a woman.  Yes there are those women like me who have learned to look over how something may be presented by a man she cares deeply for (meaning we let the petty things slide with those we love).  However I feel most women have not yet learned how to see past what may be an inadequate presentation of a topic to see what the guy is really trying to say.  So I'm saying all that to say if you are wondering how to get your "sweetie" interested it is best to take into account what type of relationship you already have.  Are you two already pretty outgoing sexually. Is she shy, are you?  Has she ever done anything that you swore she would not do and surprised you by doing just that? Or does she hold true to what you expect of her?  Once you have those answers you have a better handle on how to approach the topic.  For instance if you two are pretty open sexually and outgoing, then keep the same mindset when talking about it.  However dont forget to express that you want nothing more than to experience this with her, and that you feel it will strengthen your relationship.  If she is shy or timid you will have to do the same thing, but it will require you to be much more sensitive to her needs and concerns.  Bottom line though if men just made sure their women were satisfied beyond belief there isnt much we wont say yes to.  For a second imagine that your woman wants for nothing sexually and you both get everything you want in each sexual experience you have together....do you really think she will tell you outright no if you have been making her blow a gasket every time you two get frisky???  Only women who truly lack compassion for you, or are totally unappreciative of what you bring to the relationship do that.  Oh and yes you have to bring it outside of the bedroom as well....if we are frustrated outside the bedroom you likely wont get to the bedroom to begin with.

    Anybody that wants to ask me anything in a more private setting feel free to send me a message here...i'll get back to you promise, no question is too dumb lol.
  • CanacanCanacan
    Posts: 497
    @devajones

    Ohoh ! Finally did it?
  • xtimedt69xtimedt69
    Posts: 578
    @devajones My wife a has done some AMAZINGLY hot things in out marriage. 

    She is not shy per se, but she will NEVER suggest anything. It is not because of me. I have encouraged her she won't, not even a restaurant. She has a Rabbit vibe and that is the only one she wants and no matter what others I show here not interested.

    If I play with her G-Spot and just do it for her, she will make me stop after a few minutes. If I play with her G-Spot while she is going down on me, she will have a writhing orgasm.

    If I ask her to suggest something, she will say "that is your job and you are good at it."

    However, no matter how it is presented, she has no interest in ass play. She once agreed to try, I went slow, slow, slow, it was going to me ONLY the smallest but plug I could find, when it finally slipped in you would have thought I had shoved a tree in there. Afterward she said well, I guess we know that is off limits so I never brought it up again. 

    We have been married 24 years, we have intimate time every evening before bed. I brought up pegging a couple of months ago and she listened. Last week I asked her about any new things she wanted to try and she said I am perfectly content, what do you want to try. I said I would like a Prostate Massage from a real woman, you, sometime, she Hm ... like a question Hm.

    When we have sex she is very passionate and gets HOT! 

    I was telling another buddy on this forum in IM that I really have NOTHING to complain about at all. But all of my life I always wanted to experience as much of it as possible, in regular life and sexual life.

    Crap I hijacked the thread, but you asked. And I typed to much to erase it sorry.
  • devajonesdevajones
    Posts: 149
    @xtimed69 I dont think you hijacked the thread.  I like to think of it as @AneRico does, others will see this and read it so this could be beneficial info for them informational wise.  Their situation may be similar to yours.  You are still on topic so I dont see a problem.  Plus this may benefit @mdad when the time comes for him if he so chooses to include his wife.  I'm glad that you are happy with you marriage and love life that is great to hear.  That only makes your pegging chances better.  You may have been going slow but I'm willing to bet you weren't quite relaxed enough.  I've had the same dilemma where I was using a small butt plug and it seemed huge and maybe not so comfortable.  I remedied this by taking time (maybe a couple times a week or so) to really make love to my ass.  Meaning caressing it, playing with it manually, etc until I was able to easily relax into anal play allowing my sphincter to open more readily.  I would definitely give that a shot before you try any sort of pegging or using any other anal toys.

    I'm so happy that you were able to bring this topic up with your wife.  So many men on here are married and refuse...or are too scared to bring these topics up with women they chose to spend the rest of their lives with.  I'm happy that you have open communication...just about everything sexual starts there in my opinion.  It is a GREAT sign that she is interested in what you would like to try.  If she wasnt she would not have asked to begin with.

    As far as your wife not really wanting the focus to be on her alone...I know women like that.  Sometimes if they are doing something to you or for you at the same time its easier to just relax and go with it.  You are busying your mind with something while receiving pleasure.  It used to be hard for me to simply lie back and get pleasure I've gotten better though, women's minds get the best of us sometimes.  Often we are thinking about the craziest things and being overly self conscious with a man that obviously finds us attractive. We are often think of our flaws and how you might be taking note of them, when usually thats not the case.  I dont know if thats the case with your wife, but that was a hurdle for me.  

    I do think that your wife is perfectly fine with your leadership role in sexual suggestions.  If I were you I would take that as a compliment.  When a woman is fine with riding shotgun and letting you call the shots that means she is totally comfortable with your lead and the decisions you make.  Lots of times women are put in decision making roles (not to say we cant wont or dont desire to make decisions i'm all for women's rights but follow me on this) but we are not really designed for that. Men are however, we will make the decisions we want or need to, but we tire of that and just want to relax into our natural femininity.  That being said I think you can lead her into trying what you would like.  She may have said ass play was off limits, but I wonder if that was out of concern for you.  If it wasnt all that comfortable for you (which having a tree up one's bum does NOT sound comfortable lol) then she may have assumed you didnt want to continue with that anymore, or she may have not wanted to cause you any more pain or discomfort.  Honestly I think the conversation you had about her massaging your prostate was a great one to have.  I dont know how much of a reader you are but if you check out the post entitled Talk About Prostate Massage (scroll down a bit and you will see it), that may give you some ideas.  After massaging my husbands prostate he was MUCH more open to any type of ass play and so was I for that matter.

    Sounds like you two already have a lot of fun, and are primed to have even more fun.  Congratulations on keeping your wife content (I know it is you that is doing that and nothing more...thats probably why she doesnt want too many toys...you are the best toy there is...lots of time we women are just not so good at vocalizing that to our men), let me know how the exploring goes it sounds HOT!!!!. Now who typed too much to erase???:-))
  • xtimedt69xtimedt69
    Posts: 578
    @devajones reread my post it was her with the small butt plug not me.  :)

    "She once agreed to try, I went slow, slow, slow, it was going to me ONLY the smallest but plug I could find, when it finally slipped in you would have thought I had shoved a tree in there"

    I am completely comfortable with Aneros from Peridise to Progasm.  :bz

    But she has been willing to try quite a bit of other stuff, so I can't complain.
  • devajonesdevajones
    Posts: 149
    @xtimedt69 misread...correction noted.
  • EngorgedEngorged
    Posts: 49
    I've always wanted to blindfold myself, then cuff my arms together and tie that to the bed posts while leaving a harness and a dildo next to me for my wife to come into the room. With my luck on the subject my wife would probably go to bed knowing I'd be trapped there and she would be able to get some rest.

    I once brought it up to my wife but she didn't say anything. Sometimes, just sometimes I'd like to be the one not in control. A majority of my partners have always been submissive and even during all the awesome, kinky and raw sex I've partaken in I really, really would like to just be the one to sit for the ride.

    A lil' OT but I'm going to listen to advice from others.
  • AnerosWowAnerosWow
    Posts: 2
    My wife and I got interested in pegging a couple of years before I got my first Aneros.

    We started pegging after a session in the shower with her dildo. She had left it stuck to the shower wall and had forgotten it I guess. Or maybe she did it on purpose to get me interested? Either way we were planning on showering together and jumped in and saw it. All she said was "woopsie" with a devilish grin.

    We started making out and one thing let to another and she backed up onto it and started humping it. I just backed off and watched which made her more excited. She cums shortly after that and then asks if I want to try. I said "Do you want me to try?" and she tells me she thinks it would be hot. So I grabbed some lube and gave it a spin. I was hooked from that first time even though it was painful I had the most intense orgasm ever while she stoked me and I humped  the dildo.

    I gradually loosened up and a few weeks later asked if she wanted to peg me. She jumped at the chance so she picks out and orders a strap-on and a week later she fucks me for the first time. She was hooked on pegging after than and so was I. She also wears a WeVibe now when she pegs me and usually cums multiple times. We've added to her(our?) dildo collection and I've tried all of them but the Vixen Creations VixSkin Mustang  is my favorite. It's just right for girth and length and it's soft and comfortable.

    With all that back story I much prefer using the dildo in the shower rather than pegging if all I want is to get off. I know exactly how I like it and it's much more difficult to hit those spots while getting pegged. But getting pegged is awesome too and I really enjoy it but because it really revs up the wife. She tells me she feels liberated and powerful when she fucks me. And her orgasms are so intense it's really hot for me too. We also have sex more than once a day for days after she pegs me, it's like a turbo button for her libido.

    So for me pegging is great in the shower but I like my Progasm better. No super-O yet but I'm getting close after about a year now.


  • xtimedt69xtimedt69
    Posts: 578
    @AnerosWow curious, what position do you two usually use for pegging?
  • AnerosWowAnerosWow
    Posts: 2
    We usually switch up, either doggie or missionary.
  • muscleman65muscleman65
    Posts: 96
    I do cum faster using the dildo myself, but pegging I get to include my partner and the sessions are longer. She is really turn on sometimes and makes me suck her cock (strapon ) before.
  • xtimedt69xtimedt69
    Posts: 578
    Gotta say, I LIKED it. Better than solo, she hit the spot.
  • mdadmdad
    Posts: 139
    Well, I finally bought myself a dildo and used it. I found something about the same size as myself (gotta try it myself before ever suggesting anal to my wife, right?). I swear I've looked at myself every day for 40+ years, but this dildo looked HUGE. I can't believe that I look like THAT up close. Haha for a while I thought I made a mistake. Like, the tip won't go in, and I just wasted $30. In fact, the dildo is so squishy I couldn't keep it straight while pushing! But alas, amazingly, my butt took it after enough time. I was not gentle. I kept pushing for 10 minutes and made it go in there. I kind of liked the pain! And after the pain went away (about 30 minutes), I hit a very interesting transition between pain and pleasure, and it started to feel really good. My muscles seemed to like it, a lot. They gripped it, squeezed, spasmed, and tried to massage it. I didn't move it in and out, as I just wanted to get used to it, but rather, just kept it inserted and relaxed.

    Overall, it was awesome and I quite enjoyed it. Once I can handle the girth easier, I'll try using the suction cup and really going at it.

    After I took it out, I felt stimulation all night long. I couldn't stop tingling and spasming. My butt was craving it the entire night. I already want it back in there! Wow. I'll have to pace myself, though, as I'm a little sore. :) But I'm STILL tingling 12 hours later.

    So step 1 of my solo pegging project is complete! Without a doubt, it was better than I expected. I will definitely be mentioning this to my wife! Step 2 involves me actually moving it back an forth, an using the suction cup. I can't wait.

    Cheers!
  • devajonesdevajones
    Posts: 149
    @mdad glad to see your progress.  I'm definitely glad to hear that you enjoyed it.  Just do me a favor next time....be gentle...I know you may have liked the pain but ummmm honestly I think the pain and later soreness may be a signal from your body.  I think you are ok, but I dont think you want to do any damage either.  Just a thought, but keep us updated sounds like you are having fun!!!
  • mdadmdad
    Posts: 139
    @devajones - haha OK. I'll be nicer to myself next time.  To be fair, I think 6" girth is pretty big regardless... and it's gonna hurt. Makes me think it will be REALLY tough to ever suggest it to my wife. Curious, is the pain I felt getting the dildo in similar to the pain women have when taking a larger penis in vagina (or their first few times having sex)?

    But yes, I really enjoyed it. I had a good mindset going in, and I was expecting to like it. Once I get used to it, it's suction cup time, and then, if all goes well, I'll get my wife on board! Perhaps with a model that stimulates her at the same time. One step at a time, though!
  • devajonesdevajones
    Posts: 149
    When you say 6" girth are you talking if you take a tape measure and go around the outside diameter it measures 6" in circumference? So the diameter is about 2"??? If so wow you like them pretty thick/big!!! Whats the length by the way?  lol nothing wrong with that I might add.  I'll say more on this in a minute I'd like to get to your question.

    When losing my virginity yes it was painful and bloody (I had a guy that had NO clue what he was doing, if I'd chosen better I think it would have gone better).  Not all women experience pain when losing their virginity however, my bestfriend had a great partner she experienced no pain or blood.  As far as taking a larger penis, vaginally...if the mind is in the right place and we are really turned on and sufficiently wet...no pain, unless he has an impressive length and ends up getting close to the cervix maybe reaching it. That rarely happens due to the cervix ascending due to arousal to "make room" I call it.  Anally I took a penis the girth you are referring to (my husbands), it took a while to work up to that size, it did not hurt but we took it SLOW and GENTLE and I was very aroused dripping actually.  Anally yes it can hurt very easily, even now if i'm not careful with my ass even if the implement is small it can and will  hurt.  

    I have a serious question...are you dead set on using a dildo that is so big? (once again this is if I am not misunderstanding your measurements if I am please correct me)  If you are willing to step the size down some, get something a little firmer (i can tell you now pegging wont work with a floppy unit...for the same reason penetrative sex doesnt work with a non erect penis), then maybe you wont be so intimidated.  You've mentioned it being tough to mention it to her before...may I ask is it something you think she would be resistant to or a hangup you have?  Or is it that you are more in control when you use a dildo, and you wont be in control if she pegs you? You kind of hinted at the pain aspect of it in this thread previously is that it? Or something else completely??? 

    I'm so glad that you are moving forward I cant say that enough.  Great job so far.  I would like to point you in the direction of @xtimedt69 he's recently had a pegging and probably can help.  Also if you have not read the thread Make Love to Yourself? started by @ineverknew its a great thread that talks about guys taking time to slow down and seduce themselves I think that might help a lot with you not having anymore pain.  I just want you to understand its not really the size...its how you approach the size.  If you approach it properly you shouldnt have any pain only pleasure.  If you want anymore pointers on how to take it just let me know!!!
  • mdadmdad
    Posts: 139
    If you are willing to step the size down some, get something a little firmer (i can tell you now pegging wont work with a floppy unit...for the same reason penetrative sex doesnt work with a non erect penis), then maybe you wont be so intimidated. 

    I'm not dead set on any size, but I did kind of like it. I wouldn't say intimidated is the right word. Surprised, might be better. I just didn't expect it to look so, um, big, up close. I don't FEEL that big when I look down at it. But, I mean, YOU took something that size, so I should be able to, right?

    I think I did waste money on the dildo, though. It is too floppy. That made it harder to get in, actually, because I had to keep the whole thing stable while going in, which meant I had to hold the whole thing at once to prevent it from bending.

     You've mentioned it being tough to mention it to her before...may I ask is it something you think she would be resistant to or a hangup you have?

    My wife would do anything I asked. Just as I would, for her. I doubt she'd flatly refuse me if I asked her. It's more that I don't think she'd be into it, and if she isn't, then it's not as fun for me. Perhaps she'll come around to like it, but I don't think she has any domination/role-reversal fantasies at all. She has never hinted that it would be something that she'd like, even after a little prodding from me. So yes, I think she'd go along with it, but no, I'm not sure she'll care. Without enthusiasm, I don't care that much either. I love having sex with her, and I don't NEED this to be complete or fulfilled. It's more of a "fun to try" kind of thing. I might feel different once I get used to it, and start pegging myself, however! First things first, though. :)
  • ChiManChiMan
    Posts: 29
    I just recently bought a Tantus Acute with the same thing in mind its not real big seemed from the reviews to be a good size for pegging it does flex  a little but not enough to cause problems as deva was describing in her post. 

     I tried it solo the other day same deal pain and then something else I had a pain shoot in my back scared the &*%* out of me, not sure if it was the position I was in or what, the pain went away and I enjoyed it like you did but I am waiting a while to try it again next time I am going a lot slower with it.

     I am not at all ready for phase 2, to bring the wife into this fantasy until I am comfortable with the thing. 

    Sticking with my trusty aneros for now.
  • xtimedt69xtimedt69
    Posts: 578
    @ChiMan I have that one it was kinda short for pegging if she is on top.
  • ChiManChiMan
    Posts: 29
    @xtimedt69 Thanks for the tip I am not ready to hit her up for a go at this right now, so I  will see what I can do with it solo. 

    Does anyone have suggestion for one that is not real fat but is long enough for future reference?
  • xtimedt69xtimedt69
    Posts: 578
    @ChiMan I ordered this and will have it tomorrow:


    The 8" one it gives her  more leeway not to have to push so far to get it in and keep it in. One guy here talked about this one:


    I think it is 6.5 but whoa expensive.
  • ChiManChiMan
    Posts: 29
    @xtimedt69    Thanks for the information better to spend the money right the first time.
  • devajonesdevajones
    Posts: 149
    @mdad ok i understand what you are saying. Wow it just dawned on me that you said you got something thats the same size as you...how hot is that?? Now you know what it feels like!!! lol Yes you can take something that size but keep in mind I worked my way UP to that size from something smaller, I didnt just start out there, I'm not a glutton for punishment.  Now the rest of this message will be a public service announcement, more for general informational purposes, not to piss anybody off.  So read the next part with humor...but it is factual so dont take it as i'm blowing smoke up your asses, they are filled with aneros devices or dildos anyway so that wont work. lol

    I really need you guys to understand something.  Just read it and think it through slowly and thoroughly.  I totally understand the NEED for men to want their women to "get" something out of pegging.  Meaning they want them to feel these great sensations and be excited about the act.  That is so nice of your guys and we really appreciate it.  I get that you want your wives to be into it...however you want them to be into something that you have not brought up.  I know that men would love for their women to approach them and say, "Honey, tonight I'm going to peg the hell out of you and you will like it!!!" however, most women are not like me, they are not really the initiator.  I know it sucks but ask yourself this have you constructively asked her to initiate more and told her how you truly felt about it (in most cases the answer is no, and yes how you ask/say it makes a big difference).  I know of what I speak, lots of men have told me oh my wife wont be interested in something she's never said anything etc...and i tell them how to present it and all of a sudden they are bent over the kitchen table...having the time of their lives i might add.  Lots of times women get excited or more enthusiastic when we see how much pleasure YOU are getting out of it.  Keep in mind men...women are NOT men, for instance lots of times a man is ready for sex in seconds...women have to warm up.  Our minds have to be in the right place, we have to be aroused and relaxed etc...so we wont jump up and down at the mere mention of pegging usually.  However, mention it to us in a sexy way, let us think on it...once the mind gets working and juices flowing (no pun intended...but hey it happens), we are dying to strap up and get it on, then watching you writhe in pleasure just adds fuel to the fire.

    Just remember guys the longer you leave us in the dark the longer you go without getting what you want or at least exploring it...I also want to send those reading this over to the Pegging thread please read @xtimedt69 comments about how his wife's attitude has changed and how it has greatly benefited him.  He has been gracious enough to let us share in some of the details of his pegging journey and I'm grateful for it.  He demonstrates how a man should go about this with his wife, after all I feel a sex life should be shared.
  • devajonesdevajones
    Posts: 149
    @ChiMan first off I see you are new here, welcome aboard, sit back relax and enjoy the ride.  Just a tip to help you with the pain issue.  I'm not sure what caused the pain up your back, but this trick should help.

    When starting (and if you are already doing anything I describe here great youre on the right track), take time to get what you need, lube, dildo, whatever you use to get aroused.  Have all of that ready and waiting for you after you "prep" (whether thats potty time, shower, enema, etc...).  So when you get to the area where you plan to practice you wont have to get up anymore.  Once in your space take time to relax think about how sexy its going to be, how good its going to feel.  Touch yourself (not just your genitals, all over where ever it feels good to you), think of how sexy you'll look while pleasuring yourself in this way.  I know it may sound corny but get into it, it works.  Put some lube on your hands and massage your anus with your fingers, dont insert them yet, just massage slowly.  If you think you are going slow...go slower.  I wont lie it helped me a lot to vocalize, moaning aroused me more, so try that it may work may not, keep breathing never stop breathing through this whole thing.  You should feel your anus start to relax meaning as you massage it your fingertip will easily slip in, once you feel that using only your fingertip massage your opening, use more lube if needed you want this to be slippery, no friction.  Take time to enjoy how good that feels, get used to that feeling and associate it with pleasure, then think of how much more pleasure is waiting (notice a trend here slowly ramping up arousal then more penetration).  So continue until you feel your sphincter relaxing more, soon you should be able to slip your finger inside (i know its an awkward angle...if you can try lying on your side and reaching behind you to reach your hole that helps me instead of reaching towards the front while on my back i really cant reach that way). Once you get to that point move your finger slowly inside you give your anus time to relax a bit more.  Once that is done you should be able to notice that if you withdraw your finger and reinsert it slowly that it slips right in where as when you first started that was not possible.  I also want to mention go with the angle your body is giving you, while you have your finger inside notice what direction it enters you comfortably at. Usually it would be aiming your finger towards the front of your body as if you are trying to stroke your prostate, hope that makes sense (i'm a visual person...damn words).

    Now that you are at this point, lube up whatever dildo you are inserting, press the tip of it agains your anus, you should notice it slip in a bit, probably not all the way, once you get to a point where you are feeling just the slightest pain (please listen to your body PLEASE dont hurt yourself i beg you lol) stop applying pressure.  Take some breaths, on the exhale try closing your eyes and visualizing you relaxing into the toy, imagine you just absorbing it taking it in.  Almost like a trance state (i cant think of it in any better way or words i'm trying guys lol), usually when you do this a little more of it will slip inside you.  If not DO NOT GET FRUSTRATED, stay relaxed and just keep the pressure at the same point, keep breathing you will feel it go in more at some point (sometimes it may be helpful if you keep your device steady and inch onto it by pressing your ass onto it...might even turn you on more idk...maybe thats just a woman thing???).  When you feel it inching inside you press it in until you feel resistance (if you have the "head" of the dildo in usually you are home free but sometimes thats not the case depending on the shape of the object), stop right at the edge of feeling any pain.  Once again give your body time to acclimate, breathe and take in some more.  Do this until you are at the desired depth or better yet until you take it all (yea the woman in me wants you to take it deep...sorry if I have to you have to lol).  If you need to add more lube at any point by all means do.

    When you do start to move it in and out of you please take your time, as you will need to get used to that sensation (i did...it was quite different...but pleasurable).  Once you are comfortable with that you can adjust speed, angle, depth accordingly.  If anybody tries this let me know how it worked, and if there is anything you tweeked to fit your style (gives me more ideas to try lol).  Good Luck!!!
  • ChiManChiMan
    Posts: 29
    @devajones     Hi  Thanks for the advice that's kind of where I was going next time I try it. 

    I need to make sure I have at least  a couple of hours blocked out so it goes very slow. 

    My biggest problem is relaxing and that has caused issues for me in the past so I am working on it and it is improving now that I have come to terms with the fact that it is an issue for me
  • devajonesdevajones
    Posts: 149
    @ChiMan congrats on realizing where you need work, that is half the battle.  I have all the confidence in the world you'll work through it, after all there are great benefits for the work you put in.
  • mdadmdad
    Posts: 139
    @devajonesok i understand what you are saying. Wow it just dawned on me that you said you got something thats the same size as you...how hot is that??

    Haha it is, isn't it? I thought it was pretty kinky to try my own size, too. :)  I figure IF I like anal play enough, my wife may become interested at some point, too. And I can't suggest it to her if I haven't tried it myself...

    As for your other comments, I get what you are saying about not giving her the benefit of the doubt. I'll get there, eventually. Just not ready yet until I actually like the solo action first. If I get pleasure from it, she will be more inclined to like it, I think. If I'm grimacing in pain, then it could hurt my chances of doing it again. So I just plan on waiting until I can take the dildo comfortably, and then I'll bring it up to her, assuming I still like it.
  • xtimedt69xtimedt69
    Posts: 578
    @ChiMan I got the "American Whopper" It is 1/4" larger than the Tantus Acute, But I find it uncomfortable right now. If the Acute were longer it feels good. If I can talk myself into it I may get the Tantus Sport Long
    @Ruby Ryder suggested Slow Drive Long but I have read some reviews that it is good for rocking but nor thrusting. But I don't know. But I have learned one thing in my short few days of this, the smooth ones are better so far. I might change my mind but for now I like smooth better.
  • ChiManChiMan
    Posts: 29
    @xtimed69

             I just gave the acute another try last night solo very in prompt session wife and kid where going out for while leaving me home alone just out of the blue I had the urge to give it a try slipped a condom on it and prepped and went at it very slowly this time as Devajones suggested WOW! it was awesome.

     I see what you mean though it may be a bit short for strapon play have not tried that yet for for solo it worked like a charm I did not want to stop had a super O was just deciding it may be time to get it out and the alarm beep went off they arrived back early!  that thing came out real fast got hidden super quick and I was decent in about 10 seconds moved like a jack rabbit.  Too close for comfort on that one!  

    Interesting note Last weekend I did bring it out and the wife started playing with it on me no penetration just rubbing it on the region she wants to explore further so we will be moving along soon I think. But as advised the thing will most likely be a bit short for pegging.
  • CanacanCanacan
    Posts: 497
    @mdad
    Could tou please rename this thread to "pegging vs solo dildoing" or anything else that does not confuse people?
  • mdadmdad
    Posts: 139
    @canacan: OK, done.

    @devajones: Talked to my wife. She's down with it! I'm not ready for it yet, though. I need to get the dildoing to be easy first. Thanks for the support. :)

    We also started talking about kinks, fetishes, and deep sexual fantasies we hadn't talked about before. What a crazy weekend.

    Question for @devajones, as our only current female resident - does anal sex or anal dildoing give YOU anal orgasms (not vaginal or clitoral)? I'd like my wife to experience these too. Or is it only a prostate thing?
  • xtimedt69xtimedt69
    Posts: 578
    @mdad from experience, solo can NOT hold a candle to pegging with the wife. Not even close in any way as far as I am concerned. 
  • ChiManChiMan
    Posts: 29
    @mdad thats where I am heading now as well let us know how things go seems you may be there before me. 
  • Solo is good, but it holds nothing compared to being pegged by my wife.  The skin contact, the tenderness, the love.  There is nothing like it!  It sends me over the top.  I think I have truly experienced the MMOs.  They are like nothing I have ever experienced, and to have experienced that with my wife for the first time was truly amazing!!!!
  • xtimedt69xtimedt69
    Posts: 578
    @married2mywife I thought I was the only one ... they have been most incredible orgasm I ever experienced. Each one lasted about a minute. But the build is trance-like.
  • devajonesdevajones
    Posts: 149
    @mdad you just made my day!!! I needed that.  You are more than welcome for the support, there should be more men like you!  I'm so happy, this goes a long way in proving my point that I'm NOT a weird woman...lots of us want to peg you guys... you just have to ask.  Also having those convos about what you desire sexually are very important in keeping you two on the same page and exploring new things great job guy I'm proud of you!

    I'll also have @curiousjane weigh in on the anal sex question as well.  I know she's done some anal and if she doesnt mind i'm sure she will drop in and answer as well....we 2 women have to stick together.  

    To answer your question yes I have had anal orgasms.  I've had 2 one during anal sex and one with Peridise.  I'll give one of my dildo's a shot today and let you know how I fare, but I'm very sure its possible.  No its not just a prostate thing.  She can experience them does she have any aneros devices, or does she like anal? I'm willing to help in the area where ever i can just let me know.

    So whats still not easy about the solo anal play? Not rushing you just wondering if I can help it go a little better for you.  Also dont take @married2mywife with a grain of salt.  I think you are waiting for it to be easier however I have this feeling that your wife would make it go A LOT easier.  I honestly think that the men around here who are married and into their wives are turned on the MOST by their wife.  I think that arousal factor will make a huge difference in this being "easier", also the loving intimacy which is what draws me to pegging to begin with.  There is just another dynamic when there is somebody you love involved...I dont think many can deny that.  
  • cj187cj187
    Posts: 68
    Yes yes yes. Having my wife along for the ride was absolutely a turning point for me during sessions. Having her stroke my body and thighs lovingly whilst I was riding, seeing how aroused it got her seems to amplify everything. And bizarrely there is the intimacy from knowing it's your little secret to share.

    I want to be pegged but alas it was turned down. However who knows what life has instore, after all a persons tastes change, and in time as this sort of play becomes more accepted in the mainstream maybe that will help. Happy for you @mdad you've overcome a sticking point that many men fall at. Hoping you can overcome your fears and enjoy it.
  • mdadmdad
    Posts: 139
    @devajones: as far as waiting for it to be "easy", I want to make sure that I can do it with as minimal pain, discomfort, and effort as possible. It's already getting easier for me. I don't think it will take that long! Also, I'm not sure if she wants to peg me, or is just happy to do something I want. I was always sure she'd say yes, but it's the enthusiasm part that I care more about. Hopefully after doing it the first time, she will like it honestly. That's why I want the first time to be free from pain as much as possible.