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What is your best tip or technique for relaxing
  • didymusdidymus
    Posts: 99
    A while ago Clenchy set up a poll asking whether there was an interest in having a repository of techniques.  The response was 90% in favor.
    So I am seeing if this could be a start.  
    I am limiting the focus on RELAXING as that seems to be the most critical step in achieving the pleasure we are all seeking.
    So please share your best technique for relaxing.
     Hopefully this will become a repository of techniques for relaxing.
  • EngorgedEngorged
    Posts: 104
    Breathing for starters. Then its just being a sexy beast. Letting things in, trying different things and receptive to your body.
  • CanacanCanacan
    Posts: 747
    Engorged said:

    Breathing for starters. Then its just being a sexy beast.

    I like your choice of words. Totally speaking to me.
  • AneRicoAneRico
    Posts: 308
    Deleted by author
  • ClenchyClenchy
    Posts: 224
    didymus said:

    A while ago Clenchy set up a poll asking whether there was an interest in having a repository of techniques.

    Hmm, I don't think it was me, but then I go on the internet drunk sometimes, so who really knows. :-/

    The big one for me was trying to sleep with the aneros in, I couldn't get to sleep because every time I started to drift off, I'd get a rising rush that'd jolt me back awake. There was something in that level of relaxation. Maybe it was the mindset of not wanting to control anything, and having no expectations. Leaning on something we've already been practising for years.

  • vandelayvandelay
    Posts: 17
    Somewhat echoing Clenchy, I tried to get to a point where I felt like I could fall asleep when I first started out. That told me at least in some way I was pretty relaxed. I agree with the "not taking control" mindset as well. The only other thing besides the breathing that I would mention is how I've used the Peridise to start most of my sessions. I usually use the larger of the two-set and it does a couple things for me. I can still relax with it in. I don't feel it on my prostate unless I really try to engage the PC muscles. The general sense of pleasure from its contact with my anus helps in relaxing. I get a little (or sometimes a good amount) of arousal just by having it in and using slight muscles contractions as I see fit. As a result, things progress better once I put the Helix in.

    Hopefully something we've suggested will help you get into a more relaxing mindset.
  • didymusdidymus
    Posts: 99
  • ClenchyClenchy
    Posts: 224
    didymus said:

    @ Clenchy You were not drunk

    I might still have been drunk. 8->
  • varmintvarmint
    Posts: 94
    #1 Technique - Letting go and enjoying my body and how it responds.  Just drink in those great feeling and let them take you on a magical ride

  • Relaxation for me comes in the form of a Reverse Kegel... Just making sure there's no tension whatsoever down there and then pushing out, down, RKing, just a bit... That usually starts things up for me nicely!
  • BigGlansDCBigGlansDC
    Posts: 915

    Relaxation for me comes in the form of a Reverse Kegel... Just making sure there's no tension whatsoever down there and then pushing out, down, RKing, just a bit... That usually starts things up for me nicely!

    I like very much HopefulMMOer's description of a Reverse Kegel because tonight I discovered that I can do this almost automatically.

    Now relaxation for an Aneros session occurs for me through sexual arousal just thinking of the Aneros tools that I cleanse and relay out perhaps 30 minutes before a session. Recently I have discovered that having an A-less session serves as a foreplay before the real thing! Then I breathe slowly after insertion of each and then I'm in business!

    But starting tonight I will incorporate Reverse Kegeling into any Kegels I'll do an A-less session and see what happens!

  • darwindarwin
    Posts: 1,355

    I love this thread.

    @hopefulMMer you beat me to the reverse kegels!  they absolutely rock.  here is a site that describes them:

    it is about inhaling deeply into your lowest parts while completely relaxing them and letting them expand.  I like to think of my butt expanding sideways as i inhale.  (don't force the breath, just let your tummy and pelvic floor expand on the inhale.)

    the thing to keep in mind about reverse kegels is that they are the opposite of the usual male response to sexual pleasure which is to shallow breathe, hold breath and clench abs and pelvic floor.

    instead give yourself over to the pleasure as you stay relaxed and do your deep diaphragmatic breathing.   notice when you start to clench down there, even slightly, and un-clench.  when you do, the waves will hit harder. 

    the relaxed pelvic floor is the ideal substrate for involuntaries.

    here is another way to think about reverse kegels.   relax like a woman does when she fully opens herself to copulation, and the pleasure she will let herself have.  she deeply relaxes, opens up her vagina and just lets the man in, lets him give her pleasure. think about what a sex therapist might tell a woman who is too uptight to enjoy sex.  she has to relax completely into it, just let go, don't tighten. breath deep and open as you inhale

    in your case, completely open up.  breath, relax, open, expand, let the pleasure enter, allow it to blossom as you open and relax.

    another component of the relaxation is acceptance... of yourself.  you, the very you, are allowed to have this pleasure, and it wants to be given to you.

    i find when i do this, when i do it right, everything starts to take over automatically.

    caution: don't expand by pushing out,  only expand by relaxing as you breath.

    the irony is that this approach is opposite the original aneros instructions of kick starting it by holding contractions.   i think that method might be good in the early learning stages, to let your body know about involuntaries.

  • didymusdidymus
    Posts: 99

  • @BigGlansDC - Trial and error my friend, T n E! Back in the day, IE a
    few months ago, my big issue centered around my rectum naturally
    contracting, which was obviously good and felt good as well, but I
    struggled with how to make things better b\c I'd feel a swelling of
    orgasmic energy when I would press \ push \ RK down... I think it was
    only when I had success with going Aless that I realized RKing was the
    way to go for me.

    So yeah, for me doing it ever so slightly, like
    just go completely limp down there right now, don't do anything, then
    push a pinch and see if that does it... For me I couldn't push any less
    as I do it very minimally, but I imagine other users might have to do so

    And I think I'm going down the BGD route with going Aless
    at first, then riding with one of my devices. Problem is it usually
    takes me around 40 minutes to get going Aless anyway, so I'd have to
    make it a marathon to see if it could work for me.
  • CanacanCanacan
    Posts: 747

    What is BGD ?
  • CanacanCanacan
    Posts: 747

    Lol, thanks.
    Wouldn't have guessed that one.
  • ineverknewineverknew
    Posts: 1,209
    @HopefulMMOer, Dude you abbreviate too much! LOL  Pretty soon your messages will look like something from a stenographer  =))
  • @ineverknew - This is true, but they same so much time!:}
  • AneRicoAneRico
    Posts: 308
    Deleted by author
  • CanacanCanacan
    Posts: 747

    Thanks, interesting link !

    It is a bit disappointing to me that they don't address all the muscles affected in the area and their relationships (letting you believe there is only one) but... this idea of stretching the pubic bone and tailbone apart... is totally new to me and find it great.
  • CanacanCanacan
    Posts: 747
    By the way... I am still struggling with this, and even more with Aneros than A-less (I suppose my old reflex hold on too much sensations will take more time to really get rid of... Especially approaching climax).

    Here is the one tip that seem to help me most :
    letting go to a virtual partner's penetration and pleasure in my non less virtual vagina and make sure to let happen a full vaginal orgasm (or Gspot... Not sure of the difference) instead on clenching on my partner's shaft... Does it make sense ? (I am not even gay LOL)
    I takes a lot of imagination, imitation and mental focus to maintain the image and sensations... But it works wonders to relax the muscles when they are involuntarily holding an unstoppable clench.
  • BadgerBadger
    Posts: 777
    When I try reverse Kegels, the Progasm pops out, even when I try alternating between regular and reverse; it's the one that I have the most trouble keeping in by not constantly using pulling in Kegels.
  • cj187cj187
    Posts: 68
    you may be pushing out too much, its strange more a complete relax than a pushing out movement
  • darwindarwin
    Posts: 1,355
    Yes, that is very important.  A reverse kegel is not a push out.