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OT - Prostate Massage Questions/Advice
  • mdad
    Posts: 90
    Since my Aneros sessions have been getting better and better, I finally decided it was time to have my wife give me a prostate massage during sexual activity. I've had prostate massages before, and NONE of them felt good. As I have mentioned in my introduction post, I chalked that up to the fact that I wasn't aroused, and the DR just went a little too hard to let it feel good.

    So I was really looking forward to letting my wife massage me gently; I was hoping for big things. But honestly, I didn't get anything out of it. We didn't do it that long, but for the most part, it felt like I had to pee, and I never got a stimulated feeling out of it. At first I wanted her to do a penis-off approach just like I do when my Aneros is inserted. But after awhile, when the massage wasn't feeling good, I had her give me a blow job at the same time. The massage wasn't improving much, so I eventually just let her pull her finger out.

    The anal stimulation was nice, however. I'll have to consider a vibrator or dildo for some pegging/anal play. But I was really hoping to experience prostate stimulation just like I get from my Aneros. That didn't happen.

    Can anyone else give me their experience with partner-based prostate stimulation? Does it take a long time before it starts to feel good? Was my wife pressing too hard? Is it wise to get my prostate turned on with my Aneros first? Do I need to go through more re-wiring before attempting prostate massage?

    I WANT this, really bad. So please describe your experiences, from the bad ones, and how they got better, and what approaches we should use. If it's like my Aneros, and I just need to keep at it over a long period of time, I'm good with that. But hopefully I can get some milestones from other people. So what are your techniques?

    Thanks!

    Mike
  • ineverknewineverknew
    Posts: 869
    No experience myself but i have some observations that might help.  1. if it was your first time i wouldnt worry about it, even if you wanted it badly sometimes the prostate just isnt willing and you certainly cant force it. 2. maybe you werent relaxed enough with it being a new sensation or technique by your wife, give it time and maybe it will be more pleasureable.  Maybe in the future have her play with your nipples(if they are switched on) to get things going beforehand.  3.  It doesnt take much pressure, so maybe she was pressing on it a bit too much?  Good Luck in the future, and you are a very lucky guy to have such a considerate lady!
  • newguy8762
    Posts: 198
    mdad,
    I'll share my experience with this and maybe there's something in here you can use....

    First, a little history:
    From the time I first started masturbating and could have orgasms with ejaculations (when I was 12), I discovered it felt good to have something inside. This might be a lubed finger or a little larger oblong, smooth object I'd find. At 12, I didn't know I had a prostate, so this pleasure really was focused on my anus and how it enhanced by sexual arousal and orgasms and ejaculations. That was the extent of it. Anal play became an occasional way to add variety to masturbating. I read a lot of Penthouse Forum stories as a teen and would occasionally run across the guy telling a story of how he was sitting in a college class and a hot coed sits next to him and over a couple days, gets him all hot and bothered and eventually sticks her hand down the back of his pants, during class, and sticks her finger in him, causing him to cum right there in class!

    Fast forward to my later 20's. I'd been married for about six to seven years to a wonderfully sexual, uninhibited and adventurous woman. We have always had good to great sex. One night, during foreplay, she lubed up a finger and quite unexpectedly, without asking, first begins to lightly circle around my anus. This took my hard erection to rock hard and she let pleasure build for a few minutes. Then, without me expecting it, she slide her finger slowly inside and then deeper to what I recognize as my prostate. She begins to slide her finger slowly back and forth across the my prostate. And, in a matter of a minute or two, when out of the blue I immediately reach the point of orgasm and cum uncontrollably all over the sheets. It felt great. 

    That was the start of many a nights of prostate massages from my wife. I quickly learned to hold off ejaculating and we incorporated it as a part of foreplay. I'd finger her. She'd finger me. We'd find positions that worked for both of us. Like me with sitting on my shins where she could have access to my anus and I could work on her vagina. Or, me on my knees, doggy style, over her while I sucked on her nipples and she could access my prostate. She liked how hard it got me (beyond my normal hardness) and loved the intimacy of being inside me. I liked how it felt like she was stroking my penis from inside of it, when she was hitting the right spot and I was highly aroused. We went on for years like this but, other than that first night when I came, I hadn't orgasmed from prostate massage...until the Aneros came along.

    Once I started using the Aneros, after a couple months, I started engaging my nipples and noticed how there seemed to be a direct line that would send a very pleasurable tickling sensation from my nipples to my prostate whenever I'd gently rub my nipples. This was a new sensation as my nipples hadn't ever been an erogenous zone prior to this. I let my wife in on this addition and she gladly started to make sucking my nipples part of the foreplay. When I had my first Super O from using the Aneros, I let her know that I could now orgasm from prostate massage and she was excited to try. 

    I will say, when she's massaging my prostate, it sometimes takes as much communication from me to her as when I'm bringing her to orgasm by hand. "Ya, that feels great", or "a little lighter...ahhh" or "a little firmer is okay now". Generally, I find that a much lighter touch is required in the beginning than after we've been doing this for 15-minutes. I have been able to have multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms from her fingering me when prior to this, that never happened. 

    My wife loves to watch me writhing in ecstasy, dipping pre-cum and I'm rock hard the whole time. She'll sometimes go on for 45-minutes to an hour like this. When we have sex, I can go much longer and the resulting orgasm and pool of cum is massive (and makes a very big wet spot). I've allowed myself to be pretty vocal with moans and even grunting like some kind of beast in heat when the moment strikes me. She loves it (although we have kids at home still so I can't be too loud). I think she did some reading on the subject and she's gotten really good at this. 

    There's a really good book on prostate massage called The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure by Charlie Glickman (amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/The-Ultimate-Guide-Prostate-Pleasure/dp/B00CAYJOE2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388942408&sr=8-1&keywords=prostate+pleasure) that you both might enjoy. 

    So, those are my tips...take your time...build the arousal...engage the nipples...communicate what feels good and what not to do (in a way that affirms the good feelings she's giving you and doesn't make her feel bad...use affirming language). Make it more like a very intimate massage at first and the sexual pleasure part might surprise you. Sounds like you're a lucky man, like me. Not every spouse is so adventurous. You want to encourage yours to continue to play and explore until this works for you. Maybe even insert the Aneros and have her suck your nipples and caress your thighs and balls and stomach (leaving your penis alone) and try that.   

  • Since my Aneros sessions have been getting better and better, I finally decided it was time to have my wife give me a prostate massage during sexual activity. I've had prostate massages before, and NONE of them felt good. As I have mentioned in my introduction post, I chalked that up to the fact that I wasn't aroused, and the DR just went a little too hard to let it feel good.

    So I was really looking forward to letting my wife massage me gently; I was hoping for big things. But honestly, I didn't get anything out of it. We didn't do it that long, but for the most part, it felt like I had to pee, and I never got a stimulated feeling out of it. At first I wanted her to do a penis-off approach just like I do when my Aneros is inserted. But after awhile, when the massage wasn't feeling good, I had her give me a blow job at the same time. The massage wasn't improving much, so I eventually just let her pull her finger out.

    The anal stimulation was nice, however. I'll have to consider a vibrator or dildo for some pegging/anal play. But I was really hoping to experience prostate stimulation just like I get from my Aneros. That didn't happen.

    Can anyone else give me their experience with partner-based prostate stimulation? Does it take a long time before it starts to feel good? Was my wife pressing too hard? Is it wise to get my prostate turned on with my Aneros first? Do I need to go through more re-wiring before attempting prostate massage?

    I WANT this, really bad. So please describe your experiences, from the bad ones, and how they got better, and what approaches we should use. If it's like my Aneros, and I just need to keep at it over a long period of time, I'm good with that. But hopefully I can get some milestones from other people. So what are your techniques?

    Thanks!

    Mike


    Mike - I don't think we know each other, and I have been an irregular around here the past year or so.  I started my Aneros journey about 3-½ years ago when I purchased a Progasm (classic white plastic).  I'm now 52, married and our four adult kids are not far away, but basically we're here with the dog, and I work (in healthcare).  I did have two or three blog entries about 3 yrs ago, including one in early 2011, when I finally wakened my prostate.  Prior to that wakening, my prostate was not really a pleasure receptor, although at orgasm it did indeed give strong blissful contractions, as it is designed to do, expelling forcefully the fluid(s) that make up most of a voluminous semen load.

    Once the prostate "wakes up," its potential for excitement and arousal is almost infinite.  However, it only senses pleasure when it is aroused and swollen, as it will be when you're totally horned up, involved in foreplay, and rock hard.  I think that the congestion in one's prostate correlates not with erection of the penis, but more with the marked swelling, enlargement, and firming of a man's glans penis, which occurs when arousal is high, and a man is in the "emission phase" of orgasm (i.e., before ejaculatory inevitability hits).  This is the phase where you can "edge" for lengthy periods, and your internal sex organs are cranking out the fluids of love (precum, and filling a guy's seminal vesicles with semen, all in anticipation of unloading and breeding).  Most of us note a darkening and purple coloration of our knobs in this stage).  Believe me, if your prostate has been wakened, it will now be receptive to loving caresses from a partner's finger, or from a toy or an Aneros (or possibly from a male partner's hardon if that is a part of a man's repertoire)!

    As newguy8762 states above:  "take your time...build the arousal..."  You will love your wife's simultaneous attention to your erection and prostate, (and she will most likely get drunk on the precum you'll be feeding her)!

     - rip
  • BigGlansDC
    Posts: 636



    Mike - I don't think we know each other, and I have been an irregular around here the past year or so.  I started my Aneros journey about 3-½ years ago when I purchased a Progasm (classic white plastic).  I'm now 52, married and our four adult kids are not far away, but basically we're here with the dog, and I work (in healthcare).  I did have two or three blog entries about 3 yrs ago, including one in early 2011, when I finally wakened my prostate.  Prior to that wakening, my prostate was not really a pleasure receptor, although at orgasm it did indeed give strong blissful contractions, as it is designed to do, expelling forcefully the fluid(s) that make up most of a voluminous semen load.

    Once the prostate "wakes up," its potential for excitement and arousal is almost infinite.  However, it only senses pleasure when it is aroused and swollen, as it will be when you're totally horned up, involved in foreplay, and rock hard.  I think that the congestion in one's prostate correlates not with erection of the penis, but more with the marked swelling, enlargement, and firming of a man's glans penis, which occurs when arousal is high, and a man is in the "emission phase" of orgasm (i.e., before ejaculatory inevitability hits).  This is the phase where you can "edge" for lengthy periods, and your internal sex organs are cranking out the fluids of love (precum, and filling a guy's seminal vesicles with semen, all in anticipation of unloading and breeding).  Most of us note a darkening and purple coloration of our knobs in this stage).  Believe me, if your prostate has been wakened, it will now be receptive to loving caresses from a partner's finger, or from a toy or an Aneros (or possibly from a male partner's hardon if that is a part of a man's repertoire)!

    As newguy8762 states above:  "take your time...build the arousal..."  You will love your wife's simultaneous attention to your erection and prostate, (and she will most likely get drunk on the precum you'll be feeding her)!

     - rip


    Hi @RipTheJacker,

    Your graphic description of the glans penis and prostate connection and sexual arousal got a BIG rise out of me. When I read it, both my glans and well Anerosed, awakened prostate were thrilled exceedingly. :D :D ;) Once of the most wonderful things I discovered some months into my Aneros journey is the arousal of my prostate as I go about my Aneros sessions. My prostate enlarges and get hard. It pulsates and vibrates with excitement. 

    Also I believe that a guy's aroused, turgid, purplish, angry and plump glans dripping with precum serves for sexual signaling, would you agree?

    Yes, I am a Big glans man. I exult in my own glans and those of other men. I inherited my glans from dad who had such a beautiful, shapely glans. Also The sight and sensitivity in a guy's glans functions for the propagation of the our species, would you agree?

    And thank you, @newguy8762, for your words on arousal.

    And finally, guys, what are clitoral orgasms in men??? I have had that burning question for months from the long lasting thread:  https://www.aneros.com/forum/discussion/10151/clitoral-orgasms-in-men#Item_32   Also please see my questions on this which I posted at the very end of that thread April 2013.

    Thanks!

    Thom./BigGlansDC
  • Thom -

    You bet, mate, I agree with much of what you say.  Like you, descriptions (both verbal and written) of our genitalia and their function, excite and arouse me.  Similarly, I very often become a bit aroused in Aneros chat, as most of the participants, regardless or orientation, share common experience; most of us also share the loss of anal naivete, so we are all in a bit of a special male subgroup.

    My own penis has always been a fascinating and engaging part of my anatomy.  As I've learned more about my own male parts, particularly in the relatively intimate setting of shared experience with other adult men here, I find myself more interested in my fellows' physical and mental sexual arousal, much as I have previously experienced with the opposite sex since adolescence.

    My own knob, and my own precum, have always captivated me.  Now I find myself with a growing interest in other adult males, and their genitalia and male love fluids.  Whereas previously I never really "looked" at other males in any sexual way, I often find it hard to look away!  LOL.  Your particular obsession with these subjects, and your ability to articulate your feelings about them, also elicit a response in me  -  I may not necessarily get a hardon with every word (although often I do!), but I do find a slick sweet wetness on my glans penis when I read your words.  Your second paragraph above uses descriptors that indeed cause blood to pump into my loins.  This of course is pleasurable, as we men all know.

    I agree also that our personal responses to erotic stimuli do indeed send sexual signals (whether we want them to signal or not).  To my knowledge, I've never had any incestuous feelings, but your personal fascination with your dad's glans penis wakens my own homoerotic interests, all of which are really new in me.  It's nice to be able to discuss these, as I am convinced that they are present in pretty much every one of us men who find fellowship here at Aneros.

     - rip

    P.S.  My dick is not rockhard, but there is indeed that sweet moisture present!  Thanks.
  • BigGlansDC
    Posts: 636
    Hi @Rip,

    I never had any incestuous feelings to my dad ever. But he was the first male in my life as a boy. He had a runner's physique well into middle age. In the summer time, when it was warm, sometimes at home he was an exhibitionist, especially on early evenings when he would bound through the house buck naked as he changed out of his work clothes and don his Little League umpire uniform to officiate baseball games in my hometown. His circumcised penis would flop about in the process. I admired my dad at those times because I had a smaller version of his penis, the penis which helped bring me into the world. ;) I noticed that we had almost identical glans.

    Many years later when he was in his early seventies, he began to suffer dementia. I had to look after him along with my siblings. One day I spotted for him as he took a bath. Once again I took notice of the penis which brought me into the world. And once again, our similar glans. At that time, I was reaching age forty. People in my hometown mistook me for my late dad because we looked so similar. We also had similar interests and passions in life.

    When I began masturbating successfully to orgasmic ejaculation of semen as an adolescent, I began to become aware of my prostate throbbing in orgasm too. That happened for sure at age twelve. Of course, all this happened a good thirty years before the first HIH Aneros models came on the market. I am sure that if I got my first Aneros massager in 1972 when I was 23, my life would been radically different.

    Thom.

     
  • BigGlansDC
    Posts: 636
    I wish to thank @RipTheJacker's highly provocative and graphic descriptions of our male genitalia, more specifically, the penis along with its glans.

    Most men and boys focus upon genital sex either in sexual intercourse in its various forms or masturbation. They focus upon the pleasure their penises give them and the genitals of their partners. And many men enjoy stimulating their glans which is jack-packed with nerves producing exquisite pleasure.

    Many guys through masturbation intuitively discover that pleasure arises in their glans, travels down their penile shaft and ends up in their prostate, where it shifts course on a return journey back to their glans. Hence many guys discover that this pleasure is analogous to an electric circuit, and as they masturbate or have sexual intercourse, the pleasures builds up and leads to the climax of orgasm and ejaculation of semen.

    However, the penis, glans, and scrotum are visible to their owner, but the prostate is mostly hidden. Guys into anal play or stimulation often discover the intense of their prostate, if done safely.

    I wasn't at all into anal play and stimulation until I started Anerosing more than eighteen months ago. My Aneros tools unlocked for me the pleasure found in my anus and prostate, and even my whole body, but it has been a long process for me.