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How strong is your ass? (comedy thread)
  • As my sphincters get stronger, I have occasionally wondered just how strong one can become back there. Now I bring my curiosity to you. I often think of funny, impossible anal powers, and I'd like this thread to be about the impossible, as much as what a person can actually do. So, I'll start this off with a couple.

    Could you pull a car? 
    Could you suspend yourself in mid-air by gripping a butt plug?
    If you were about to be raped, could you clamp down so tightly that it would be impossible for them to get in? 
    Could you fire a projectile with enough force to impale someone, or knock them out? 

    ♪Spider ass... Spider ass... Spider ass does whatever he does. ♪
  • i always laugh when i see that movie "just go with it" an Adam Sandler movie where Dave Mathews pics up a coconut with his ass, hilarious!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wWZ4eF_o60
  • Faster than a speeding bullet, able to leap tall buildings with a single bound...is it a bird? is it a train? No, it's assman!
  • Alex_xxx
    Posts: 408
    Make like the bat and hang upside-down...by your ass!
  • he can hold a cigarette there draw with one hand and take a phone call with the other haha assman

  • rookrook
    Posts: 1,604
    Haven't done any competitive trials since the 4th or 5th month in my Journey.  Then, I fired an SGX about 8 feet across our bedroom and cracked a mirror covering an entire closet door.  $$$    :(   Opted to not file an insurance claim.  :lol:

    Since then regular Kegels have increased my power ! 
  • Should I start calling you Assman, Rook? 8 feet! Now that must be some kind of super power.
  • Alex_xxx
    Posts: 408
    holy aneros.. its not a bird, guaranteed not a plane and sure as H isn't Assman.. its just Rooks SGX :)
  • @rook Now you should try for accuracy. An SGX or MGX has just the right curve to make it a good boomerang. If you're good enough, you can shoot it and catch it again. Hands free XD. 

    Now if you're looking for straight line accuracy, I suggest the Maximus. It doesn't have much curve so it will fly straighter than the other models. And its narrow base allows you to put alot of force behind it before firing. Why, just today I shot down a fly in mid air, from 10 feet away. I can only imagine what it was thinking before it got hit.

    Fly: Hmm, there isn't anything good in the garbage can today. Let's see if there's anything good in the bathroom. What's that I smell? Shea butter, some coconut oil, and just a hint of shit. Delicious. It isn't coming from the bathroom, so where is it? Aha, it's coming from where the maker sleeps! Oh look, he's making some food right now...and it's white. Interesting. Must get a closer look. ...Wait, what? It's flying! That's impossible! Take evasive actio*WHACK* Mayday, mayday, I've been struck by a flying...something, disguised as food! My wing is injured and I'm going down! 

    Spider: Bwahaha! That was the funniest thing I've ever seen! Stupid fly. Oh wait, that's lunch. I better get over there before it recovers. Thank you assman!