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Dry periods are just dam annoying.
  • nerve
    Posts: 3
    I got a taste of what this toy can do, when all the right stuff comes together and so little effort is required..it just happens and it's awesome.
     Then the times where things start off and then stop or taper off, and I'm left trying to remember what I did last time to help it work. It's like chasing something that stays just out of reach, and even though you know you are not supposed to be chasing, the lure is strong.
    It seems to be my experience that a sensation or feeling once experienced, never comes back the same way, so I am constantly having to vary things just to get something happening.
     It's all part of the journey of self-discovery I know, but still dam annoying
  • indeed  /:)
  • Alex_xxx
    Posts: 408
    third!

    anywayz.. I now find that it`s actually alot about a state of mind. I can now trigger the start of the session just by thought. It`s pretty crazy. A year ago I would have been a non-believer.
  • JMay
    Posts: 113
    I feel like there are two things here that are fundamental to have success... one is teasing yourself all the time, actually doing the opposite of what you think you need. The other thing is to stop fearing "losing it". So if you feel an urge to do something specific, and do the opposite (only a little bit at first, that's the 'teasing' part), trust in the process, you won't lose it. For example if you feel that tensing your leg muscles is a must for it to work, do the opposite and see what happens. You should also give it time to develop, though, which is another way to say lose the fear of losing it.

    When you tease yourself all the time you are actually handling control to something unrelated to you, which is what makes the experience so good, it takes over your body. You get to a point where you want it so bad that it starts to work naturally the way it should.
  • Clenchy
    Posts: 80
    Usually what I do is hit the forum and look around for tid-bits of information, one new thing I can bring with me into my next session. Maybe a new kind of contraction, breathing exercise, a feeling that I recognise but never focused on before. It helps me expand my awareness of what's happening down there, and discover new things about myself.
    Even if the new thing you're trying doesn't work, it at least takes your mind off the frustration of not getting exactly what you want.

    Some of my favorite ones were:

    1. Trying to sleep with it in. I can never actually fall asleep with an aneros in, it's too distracting (and not officially recommended). But when I put myself in a state where I'm physically and mentally trying to go to sleep, I can drift off a little bit. For a moment I'd get a growing body rush that would cause me to snap out of that relaxed state. But with practice I was able to ride it a little longer, and eventually stay in a similar zone. Totally relaxed but warmly buzzing at the same time.

    2. Pushing out, instead of pulling in all the time. For a long time, I overlooked the pushing-out contraction. Early on in my aneros training, I discovered it felt good when the aneros was being pulled in, so I latched onto that and held it as a rule, without being concious of it. When I experimented with a push-out contraction, I noticed I wasn't fully releasing my anal contraction. Even when I thought my anus was relaxed, it actually wasn't fully. Playing with the push-out contraction helped me to build an awareness and gain more control. And I think it put me in touch with another muscle that I really enjoy a lot now, I don't know what it is, but if I give it a little tension it works wonders.

    3. Moving the twitching. It never even occurred to me to try this. I used to get twitching/fluttering anal involuntaries that felt pretty good, I tried to move these twitches to another area, and somehow it worked. I could move them to the more outer anal muscles. It wouldn't be exactly the same kind of twitching, it was slower and way more pleasurable. Shifting my focus and willing the fluttering to move, made a difference.

    4. Try a different model. They each have something to teach. I find the maximus and eupho reach deeper, the mgx and eupho respond well to contractions, the progasm gives fuller contact, the progasm junior gives more aggressive pressure. As well as having their own characteristics, trying a new aneros gives you a chance to break out of your old routine, receive unexpected sensations and change the way you think about your sessions.

    5. Nipple stimulation. Even trying to integrate nipple stimulation to your session is interesting enough to make things happen. I found it gave me something else to focus on. When I'm in an aneros session, the temptation is to "grab on" to what's happening. If I can re-direct that need to fingers-on-nipples instead of anal contractions, maybe my body will be free to do what it's trying to do.

    6. 'The tug of war'. A great thread, which I think is in the wiki now. As well as being a good technique in itself, it gives you something to focus on and take control of. Which also keeps your mind from wandering. Letting go, but not giving up.

    A large part of this experimentation is about discovering and overcoming the things you're unknowingly doing wrong. Instead of approaching it with the question - what am I not doing? Ask yourself what am I doing that I shouldn't be? And then when the time is right, stop thinking about anything at all and go to your deeply relaxed place.
  • For me my body and mind adapts very quickly to whatever new thing that rocked a session last time - everything armours up, so to speak, so whatever worked the previous session often doesn't work nearly as effectively next time. Have to keep finding new things.

    In any case my best sessions occur after breaking away from MMO in general for a few weeks to a month. It also requires the right mindset - one that is horny but not fussed.
  • XilehXileh
    Posts: 353
    There are two events possibly in discussion here; changes in routine, and what is commonly known as a "Dry Spell".

    I've experienced the changes over time. There is plenty of advise in the forums to enjoy what you are experiencing now, it may change in the future and not be repeated. I agree. The folks that have replied to your post have described this pretty well.

    A Dry Spell is evident when most of the pleasure just stops. It can be really frustrating. Everything was going so well then it just stopped. Of course, trying hard to recreate the good times is counter-productive. A Dry Spell may continue for months. I have found that once things start up again, it is different. A whole new routine.

    The common thread for both events is; things change.

    Xileh
  • Turnrow
    Posts: 123
    JMay said:

    I feel like there are two things here that are fundamental to have success... one is teasing yourself all the time, actually doing the opposite of what you think you need. The other thing is to stop fearing "losing it". So if you feel an urge to do something specific, and do the opposite (only a little bit at first, that's the 'teasing' part), trust in the process, you won't lose it. For example if you feel that tensing your leg muscles is a must for it to work, do the opposite and see what happens. You should also give it time to develop, though, which is another way to say lose the fear of losing it.


    When you tease yourself all the time you are actually handling control to something unrelated to you, which is what makes the experience so good, it takes over your body. You get to a point where you want it so bad that it starts to work naturally the way it should.



    Jmay.  Absolute wisdom here that has helped me so much since you posted it.  Keep thowing out tidbits to us.  You and I are wired alot alike and all of your suggestions have helped me tremendously.  Teasing the male body and moving sexual energy around ignites my prostate.  I feel like I have made tremendous great strides forward since you posted this.

    Appreciation.

  • JMay
    Posts: 113
    @Turnrow

    Cool! Not asking for appreciation here, but if it weren't for the appreciative comments every now and then I would've stopped posting a long time ago, some kind of feedback is very much welcome. I'm glad to see others have more success here.

    Try this.
    Move your neck when in "charging mode" (getting your juices flowing before actually starting), try making a small circle forward. The movement should be like the way pidgeons move their heads when they walk, of course not that fast, but in that direction. Move your chin to help you make a circular movement. When pulling back push your chin towards your neck, when moving forward, move your chin away from your neck.
    Try different radius, speed, frequency, etc.
    Also move your lower back, actually feeling your whole lower back area. All this as a preparation for what's to come.
    When moving a certain area, feel it, forget about your prostate for a while. If your ears get hot or your eyes hurt a bit is a good signal. Move your eyes also! Experiment with all those movements to get your bearings; how much is too much, how little is too little, etc.
    As always, do this with a relaxed deep breath.

    The more you abstain from ejaculation, the easier it gets to discern between all these feelings, they get louder and clearer. As long as you are doing it right, you won't feel like you'll explode if you don't ejaculate soon, you are opening an inner pathway for these feelings to implode in your body.
  • AneRico
    Posts: 218
    Turnrow said:

    JMay said:

    I feel like there are two things here that are fundamental to have success... one is teasing yourself all the time, actually doing the opposite of what you think you need. The other thing is to stop fearing "losing it". So if you feel an urge to do something specific, and do the opposite (only a little bit at first, that's the 'teasing' part), trust in the process, you won't lose it. For example if you feel that tensing your leg muscles is a must for it to work, do the opposite and see what happens. You should also give it time to develop, though, which is another way to say lose the fear of losing it.


    When you tease yourself all the time you are actually handling control to something unrelated to you, which is what makes the experience so good, it takes over your body. You get to a point where you want it so bad that it starts to work naturally the way it should.



    Jmay.  Absolute wisdom here that has helped me so much since you posted it.  Keep thowing out tidbits to us.  You and I are wired alot alike and all of your suggestions have helped me tremendously.  Teasing the male body and moving sexual energy around ignites my prostate.  I feel like I have made tremendous great strides forward since you posted this.

    Appreciation.



    At first I thought I had written Turnrow's post.

    Which is to say that I 100% agree with Turnrow.  I seemed to be wired the same as you guys and JMay's suggestion about teasing became part of my routine as soon as I read it (as has so MUCH of what JMay has had to say...thank you, buddy).
  • Just to clarify, Jmay. When you say do the opposite, I'm thinking literally do the 180 degrees opposite, like do something painful if my body wants something pleasurable.That's how I read it at first and of course it didn't sound right. On re-reading your message I understood that by teasing you obviously meant withholding what my body is desiring for a little bit and seeing his reaction. Is that it? I'll try it.

    I sometimes misread things because I read the words and interpret them literally, a hazard of thinking of myself as a writer. My spouse speaks from his feelings so you can imagine the problems. Everyone writes from their own place IMO and that's why I have to remember to re-read your messages if I don't understand them at first. I sometimes remember things that you and others have written in the middle of a session.suddenly it makes sense. My therapist characterizes this tendency as just the way my brain functions. Maybe that's why I mostly get the mini O on awakening, my subconscious mind still has control. Your point is to trick the mind into going for what one's ego wants by bypassing it.

    I don't mean to write a dissertation about something so simple and obvious to everyone else but it means a lot to me personally to sort out the words from their meaning because that's the common interface between men that I see going on here and maybe it will clarify this for someone else here with my kind of thinking. It also documents it for my future reference.
  • Oh, I am taking a session break and realized that Jmay's suggestion for teasing my body may not work for me in practice while it would work for others. I am familiar with withholding things my body wants since I withheld sexual contact with any human being for the first 32 years of my life. I qualify for the repressed type. Jmay, you are very good at recognizing sensations and describing them, and have a good relationship with your subconscious mind, a free flow of information, I'm guessing. I'll have to get at my mind some other way than withholding desires.

    Everybody must have their own unique relationship with their subconscious. Mine seems to be in the threshold between sleeping and waking where I learned what the essence of pleasure, an orgasm, feels like. I use that memory in my sessions to guide me across the surface of unconsciousness to the depths and I hope bring back the rose from the bottom.

    I keep telling myself to start a blog to put stuff like this in so people won't be confused by my crazy thoughts in these comments. Just follow my blog or not.