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A Female with Questions
  • Hello, everyone:

    I hope that it is alright for me to post my female feelings here.

    I am a straight female who has been reading this forum. It is a turn on and yet a turn off at the same time.

    From the female perspective, I feel as though a man no longer needs a female because it is impossible for a female to give her man a Super "O." I have never put my finger or a dildo in a man's anus but am turned on by the idea of doing it and being responsible for making him have orgasms that bring about the 4th of July experience, but I also feel jealous that if I do it and/or participates as he uses the heaven-sent Aneros that he may lose interest in me.

    I have been working on my attitude about anal being gay, but now the fear that a man will prefer his anal pleasures over a female is coming into this. While I do not speak for all females, but as a female, we DO enjoy using our feminine charms. Do the men who use anal toys and in particular the Aneros and are straight even care about being with a female ever again?

    Can some of the men respond to the females regarding this?
  • Edit
    Posts: 0
    Yopu should have nothing to worry about, men have the same concerns when females rave about their vibrators etc, some women even will state , "who needs a man" with those great female toys being available.
  • Edit
    Posts: 0
    also read "a wifes perspective" at the top of the forums list lots of good info.
  • Pan
    Posts: 249
    Hi hmaintenance1, and welcome to the forum. :-)

    I must say agree with geezer. I can't count how many times I've seen women on cable shows like HBO's "Real Sex" declare how their toys are so much better than their male lovers.

    In a way, I think of toys like the Aneros as finally evening the playing field again.

    It's only fair. After all, for a long time the male orgasm has been "over-shadowed" by the female orgasm. Since most of us guys have never known anything better than the "one-shot" orgasm, we've grown up being taught that the best we can do is please our partners and take pride in our abilities to provide pleasure.

    Meanwhile, we've been repeatedly told over the past 2 decades that our abilities will never match the ever-evolving "Super Rotating, 5 Speed, Vibrating Mega-Dildo."

    So I tend to think it's actually a very healthy change for men to finally have the chance to say, "WOW, this makes me cum better than anyone ever has before!"

    But the funny thing is, men quickly discover the same truth about the aneros that women do about the "Super Rabbit Vibrator," which is that there's simply no replacement for an attentive, caring, and responsive lover. Have you ever seen any men here posting that they prefer the aneros to their wife or girlfriend? I don't remember reading a sinlge post like that in all the years this forum has been going. That really says something, doesn't it?

    I think what we all want deep down is to come together and cum together. LOL. And I believe the only way to truly accomplish that, whether gay or straight, is through an intimate connection of body, heart, and mind.

    I'm actually in the minority around here because I was already multi-orgasmic before I began using the aneros or any form of prostate stimulation.

    Using a technique similiar to Tantra, my wife and I were already able to enjoy and share multiple orgasms in ways that I can't begin to describe. Suffice it to say, it's an experience of intimacy that no toy could ever re-create, much less improve upon. So to me, the aneros is just a great little toy, no more and no less.

    So you may be wondering, if being with my wife feels so much better, why do I even bother using the Aneros?

    Well, for one thing, she's not always in the mood and my aneros is! LOL. Not to mention, it's a great way to keep my prostate healthy and tone muscles which are important for sexual pleasure. But the main reason is because it provides me with a very unique orgasmic experience, which I can't get from anything (or anyone) else. Probably very much the same way a woman may desire a vibrator occasionally, even if she has the best lover in the world, once in awhile I want the specific orgasmic sensations that only the aneros can give me.

    So, at least for me, the aneros is simply in a class by itself and not comparable to anything (or anyone) else. It's certainly no competion for my wife or women in general, and in truth, thanks to the techniques I've learned over the years, I can give myself even greater pleasure using my own hands and some lubricant than any toy ever could. And yet, there's something special about the aneros that's made it a regular part of my sexual practice for over 5 years now. So it's really just a matter of variety rather than satisfaction.

    I hope that helps put your mind at ease, and to perhaps feel more comfortable with the idea of prostate stimulation. Please keep in mind that most men grew up hearing that any kind of anal play is a "gay thing," and it usually takes some degree of courage to over-ride that programming and try something new. So, assuming your partner is interested in, and eventually achieve's the Super-O, if anything he'll feel even closer to you for providing a safe, supportive, and non-judgemental relationship in which he can broaden his orgasmic horizons.

    As for the male penetration fantasy, I know you're definitely not the first woman to feel that way. I once heard somewhere that roughly 10% of all women share that fantasy. I know at least one of my female friends was turned on by it, and eventually married a man who was willing to explore that with her.

    Of course, the aneros is not the right toy for that kind of exploration. If you intend to try it, I recommend the Deluxe Crystal Wand (just google it). One of the great things about this toy is that it's easy to use solo or with a partner, and it even doubles a G-spot stimulator. So it's something you both can use.

    However, I must caution you to be really, REALLY GENTLE while using it on your partner. There is an element of risk with products like these, that can put too much pressure on the prostate possibly causing harm. So if you decide to try it with your partner, always go very slowly and very carefully. I think you'll both be surprised at how strong a reaction you can get from the tiniest movements...

    Finally, I would like to say that the best way to ensure that the aneros is no competition for your feminine charms, is for your partner to first learn how to enjoy multiple orgasms during sex and masturbation, without using any toys at all.

    In my opinion, the best way to do this is to learn KSMO, also known as the Key Sound Multiple Orgasm trigger at www.multiples.com.

    The great thing about KSMO is, it can teach your man that he is the greatest source of his own pleasure, and that in turn will make him a happier and more confident lover, able to give and recieve pleasure more freely than ever before. Even better, it's a technique you can both learn and share together. So when you both are able to fully satisfy yourselves and each other without needing anything "extra," like the aneros, it makes those little extra's all the more fun to use!

    Well, hope that helps and happy adventuring! :-)
  • Lowell
    Posts: 4

    Originally Posted By: hmaintenance1
    Hello, everyone:

    I hope that it is alright for me to post my female feelings here.

    I am a straight female who has been reading this forum. It is a turn on and yet a turn off at the same time.

    I feel as though a man no longer needs a female because it is impossible for a female to give her man a Super \"O.\"
    I have never put my finger or a dildo in a man's anus
    but I also feel jealous that if I do it and/or participate as he uses the heaven-sent Aneros that he may lose interest in me.


    Can some of the men respond to the females regarding this?


    hmaintenance1,
    Don't worry.
    Although the Aneros experience is powerful it is not the same as making love.
    I speak for myself but for me it has been a useful tool, I take pleasure in using it but it's not making love to my wife.
    I take from the experience a growing understanding of sex that thas helped me understand somethings I just couldn't figure out.
    As to the mutual Super O, don't rule it out.
    Peace,
    Lowell
  • dDONz
    Posts: 2

    Originally Posted By: Lowell

    Originally Posted By: hmaintenance1
    Hello, everyone:

    I hope that it is alright for me to post my female feelings here.

    I am a straight female who has been reading this forum. It is a turn on and yet a turn off at the same time.

    I feel as though a man no longer needs a female because it is impossible for a female to give her man a Super \"O.\"
    I have never put my finger or a dildo in a man's anus
    but I also feel jealous that if I do it and/or participate as he uses the heaven-sent Aneros that he may lose interest in me.


    Can some of the men respond to the females regarding this?


    hmaintenance1,
    Don't worry.
    Although the Aneros experience is powerful it is not the same as making love.
    I speak for myself but for me it has been a useful tool, I take pleasure in using it but it's not making love to my wife.
    I take from the experience a growing understanding of sex that thas helped me understand somethings I just couldn't figure out.
    As to the mutual Super O, don't rule it out.
    Peace,
    Lowell

    Hello Hmaintenance1
    Personally I have enjoyed self anal stimulation for long time. I am straight and I always did it in private for fear of rejection. When I got married I confided in my wife that I liked using a vibe in my rear and she wanted to see. To make a long story short, I was very turned on by it and even happier that she would help me do it once in a while. I still love doing all the other sexy and hot stuff to and with my wife, (oral, intercourse, mutal masturbation, etc...) but now I have the added plus of having her please me there.I will never lose interest in women especially having sex with them.
    I would like to repeat a quote I saw from another member I read here and that is that sometimes men feel the same way about women and their toys.
    I think what is important is that it is the physical contact that people share we each ohter is what makes sex so good. To feel a womans breasts run along my chest or on the inside of thigh as she is giving me head or to feel how wet she is as I enter her. What straight man would prefer a toy over that?

  • Edit
    Posts: 0
    This is exactly the sort of discussion I came to the forum looking for. I'm dating the most wonderful bi man in the world; the love we share is incredible. I'm not concerned about him replacing me with a toy or even using the toy when I'm not there, I don't bother doing that with my toys, why would he? We're both always available and always ready to go. My concern is that I won't be able to be as involved when he uses the aneros as opposed to our other anal toys which we either leave in or I operate to please him or even use my own finger while stimulating elsewhere as well in various ways. However, the aneros sounds too self-sufficient. I was planning on getting him one for his birthday in a few weeks, but reading the reviews I'm skeptical. I want him to have the pleasures described here (better and multiple and unique orgasms) but I want something we can do/enjoy together, I want to participate. I know that sounds selfish but I'm sure he'd feel the same way. Obviously I could talk to him about it, but he's had no experience with the aneros so he'd be just as ignorant as me, plus, I want the gift to be a surprise. Any information/advice is greatly appreciated!

    Thanks
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    Openmindedgirl,

    By all means the Aneros would make a terrific B-day gift, particularly for an openminded guy . With respect to your concerns about not being able to participate in his Aneros fun, the fact is that the Aneros can be used right out of the box to enhance any number of the more traditional activities (those ending in ejaculation). Oral sex, masturbation and oh yes, intercourse are just a few ways that the Aneros may be enjoyed. Consider, that while the Aneros is inserted, for every little twitch his anal sphincter makes his prostate is gently stroked. Thrusting movements (made during intercourse) will provide an even greater intensity of massage. And when he comes, don't be surprised if you notice a longer duration of orgasm with a greater volume of ejaculate!

    In regards to the much heralded non-ejaculatory orgasm (Super O), there is no question that this may require a certain amount of solo time to work on. Part of it has to do with him getting in touch with producing sensations in a different way....a way that is not penile centered. This is very difficult to do when one is concerned about fulfilling ones partner's needs. With some practice alone however, you will be able join him and play a very important role in his journey to the Super O.

    Arousal is a key factor in generating this type of orgasm, so as a partner, anything that you can do to increase his arousal will facilitate the process. (Anything short on penile contact that is....) Sucking and nibbling on his nipples, stroking his body, kissing him and masturbating in front of him can all be VERY arousing. The latter in particular really keys into a man's visually wired brain....use it...., GET CLOSE...let him see and even smell YOUR arousal. If he enjoys it (and who doesn't..) be verbal with him, encouraging him ...nice or nasty.

    Go for it!

    BF Mayfield



    P.S. I think it's tremendous that you care so much to want to pleasure your partner in this way.

  • asdfgh
    Posts: 3

    Originally Posted By: hmaintenance1
    Hello, everyone:

    I hope that it is alright for me to post my female feelings here.

    I am a straight female who has been reading this forum. It is a turn on and yet a turn off at the same time.

    From the female perspective, I feel as though a man no longer needs a female because it is impossible for a female to give her man a Super "O." I have never put my finger or a dildo in a man's anus but am turned on by the idea of doing it and being responsible for making him have orgasms that bring about the 4th of July experience, but I also feel jealous that if I do it and/or participates as he uses the heaven-sent Aneros that he may lose interest in me.

    I have been working on my attitude about anal being gay, but now the fear that a man will prefer his anal pleasures over a female is coming into this. While I do not speak for all females, but as a female, we DO enjoy using our feminine charms. Do the men who use anal toys and in particular the Aneros and are straight even care about being with a female ever again?

    Can some of the men respond to the females regarding this?


    hey baby whats your name
  • coyote
    Posts: 3
    No toy can substitute for being with another human being. Aneros is just a way to further explore male sexuality that should make being with another person even more enjoyable. Not an issue. Get your husband an Aneros.
  • zanyo
    Posts: 15
    You can achieve the same as a toy with your finger, feel the two bumps on either side, these are loads of the prostate, and at the lowest point of those in between then there is a very sensitive point and if you tikle very gently quite fast your guy will have never experienced something like it. Go from there.
  • Originally Posted By: hmaintenance1

    \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\"I have been working on my attitude about anal being gay, but now the fear that a man will prefer his anal pleasures over a female is coming into this. While I do not speak for all females, but as a female, we DO enjoy using our feminine charms. Do the men who use anal toys and in particular the Aneros and are straight even care about being with a female ever again?\"


    Dear hmaintenance

    Here is the view of one male:

    Forget about you or your man being anal gay and focus on sexual pleasure. I am 73 and have, with the aid of an SGX, been multi orgasmic for a couple of weeks. Now I can have multiple orgasms in my anus with my penis flaccid or in my penis with an erection either masturbating or with my wife. Frequent erections are no longer a problem. The only problems when fucking is that being wrapped around my wife makes control more difficult and a tendency to go flaccid after the first, rather weak orgasm making it necessary to start again after a few minutes rest. Any man worth his salt will enjoy all three modes and you should find yourselves fucking more and enjoying yourselves more, not less.

    love
    Dynamic Dave
  • Edit
    Posts: 0

    Originally Posted By: Lowell

    Originally Posted By: hmaintenance1
    Hello, everyone:

    I hope that it is alright for me to post my female feelings here.

    I am a straight female who has been reading this forum. It is a turn on and yet a turn off at the same time.

    I feel as though a man no longer needs a female because it is impossible for a female to give her man a Super \"O.\"
    I have never put my finger or a dildo in a man's anus
    but I also feel jealous that if I do it and/or participate as he uses the heaven-sent Aneros that he may lose interest in me.


    Can some of the men respond to the females regarding this?


    hmaintenance1,
    Don't worry.
    Although the Aneros experience is powerful it is not the same as making love.
    I speak for myself but for me it has been a useful tool, I take pleasure in using it but it's not making love to my wife.
    I take from the experience a growing understanding of sex that thas helped me understand somethings I just couldn't figure out.
    As to the mutual Super O, don't rule it out.
    Peace,
    Lowell

    Hmaintenance1, YOU have NOTHING to worry about regarding anal play with your man. It's FANTASTIC. Both for yourself and your man. You can control the Aneros, and have a hand in driving him insane. He'd have to be on his belly for you, his legs spread, and you behind him. My girlfriend and I play in this manner, many times. She knows the exact amount of pressure and the angle to insert it for optimal results. I've had the Maximus for quite some time. After I learned how to use it, I let her watch me with it. Then she rolled me over on my belly, and took over...WOW. Is all I can say. She's become a pro with it. Sometimes she'll use her finger to lube me first, then insert the Aneros. sHE LOVES watching what she does to me. Our lovemaking lasts for quite some time. And it drives me CLOSER to her. She loves what this has done for our lovemaking. In fact it's such a turn on for HER, that she has phenomenal orgasms herself. And they're deeper and more intense. She LOVES my Aneros. And I love sharing this side of myself with HER. GO FOR IT BABE.
  • TinyMex
    Posts: 10
    @hmaintenance1

    This sounds like you are reducing the relationship between men and women to a only sexual relationship. I am engaged but I will use the Aneros because I am curious about that. These are tow different things. Even if I will have this break through experience some men reporting to have, it would nothing change in my relationship.
  • Hello Hmaintenance,
    I'm a girl and read it carefully. This is really a nice post.
    Thanks
  • [QUOTE=geezer;60033]Yopu should have nothing to worry about, men have the same concerns when females rave about their vibrators etc, some women even will state , "who needs a man" with those great female toys being available.


    Great point!


    While using the aneros is great, I would still prefer to be with a female.

    I would use the aneros on the side, however I'm single, so I only use the aneros right now......poor me!!