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Continence???
  • Kev
    Posts: 87
    Hey all!

    What do you think about continence? (that you should never ejaculate when having sex unless you're trying get a baby) I read a lot about this topic and in a way it could make sense.. wasting semen might be a waste of life energy and vital nutrition for the nervous system.. (Asian philosophy) I ejaculate almost every day.. sometimes even four times a day.. Since now I have been thinking that it's just better to keep the pipes and the whole system working, the semen flowing and fresh.. Please let me know what you think and especially if you have any experience of continence!

    Best,

    Kev
  • artformartform
    Posts: 1,474
    Another great question Kev!!

    Like you I was an avid masturbator in my youth!! After I was married my doctor was interested that I would cum 3-4 time during sex. Over time that diminished physiologically, as all kinds of other demands on one's energies come into play in adulthood.

    Ejaculation is known as "petite mort" because of the refractory period of whole body hormonal and metabolic readjustment, recharging and re-balancing. The ancient "Asian"philosophers observed this and other effects as they evolved their views on sex in the bigger picture of all. Science is now confirming the basis of some of their ideas and practices.

    In the early 1990s I studied and practiced Mantak Chia's approach to Taoist sexual kung fu and developed the ability to ejaculate inward to conserve and "cook" my semen for energies development. I had a solo prostate massage practice since age 13 and did not end every session with a JO finale. This had already been producing energies for em for years. I was able to identify my innate energies, and the added effects from this added Taoist practice. I achieved good energies circulation and the MicroCosmic Orbit.

    My body did not like the inward ejacs after some time and I stopped that. It did not diminish my energies. I shared all this with my wife and gave her Mantak Chia's parallel book for female techniques. We enjoyed this for a few years as a focus, and then life events diminished the time for this.

    In sex with my wife through these years I would always ejac. I was still masturbating solo, although by then not daily, maybe 2-3 times a week. Once my wife entered menopause, and I apparently andropause, I was down to 2-3 times, a month to a year, solo with prostate massage.


    By mid-2000s we became empty-nesters and talked about what we each would like to explore next sexually. For me it was bringing my solo prostate massage practice into our sex-life together and adding Aneros use in too. For mrs. a it was/is exploring her female ejaculation orgasmic potential.

    We have had great successes all round and have both reached very high levels of orgasmic/life-force/spiritual energies!!! Our sex has each of us ejaculating occasionally, while our real focus now is our shared physical dry energies orgasms of astounding variety and sustainability!!!

    My solo energies work is now all Anerosless and does not involve any ejaculation. I was also attracted to Aneros as possible therapy for my BPH (benign prostatic hyperlasia), having had to get 3-5 times nightly to pee and other frequency inconveniences. Soon after starting with Aneros, I sleep through the night and feel much better!! My BPH therapy sessions do end with an ejac "clear the pipes" and I no longer feel any refractory from those. Throughout, I have relied more and more on my body/mind's intuition for finding the best energies balance in all this.

    The emerging science on all this now says those males with more frequent ejaculations in youth have better prostate health throughout their lives and reduced chance of prostate cancer. Further, some preliminary studies say those who practice prostate massage reduce their chances of prostate cancer by 20%. Ongoing studies will produce more detailed results.

    all the best prostate health and happiness all

    artform

  • Kev
    Posts: 87
    Thank you so much for sharing this artform!!! :)

    All the best,

    Kev
  • I think continence usually refers to holding urine as opposed to being incontinent, but i could be wrong.  The term more used for sperm  or cum spilling i think is abstinence, but again cud be wrong.  Some years ago before my aneros into in book The Multi-orgasmic Man i read of having orgasm w/o ejaculation, so no or shorter refractory time with repeated orgasms.  The method was to hold the 2 middle fingers (like in Mangina) in the hole that is in the perineum while getting close to orgasm, and wouldn't ejaculate.  It worked for me sometimes, but i think i pressed there too late and wud have at least some ejaculation. The orgasms were stronger that i had experienced before, and i cud really feel the pulsations in the perineum.  i don't think i ever tried to have another organism after, was so satisfied with what i had already.  i heard though the the cum may just be backing into the bladder, and i am quite sure it was causing foamy urine when i voided after the session.  As for retaining cum, or rather not retaining it, but cumming does seem to make me feel weaker during the day if i have masturbated on awakening.  Besides feeling stronger if i didn't jack off very often, orgasms seem to be stronger if some time (i mean days or even a week) between ejaculations.  I am an old fart though, so i certainly cud and did masturbate much more often when a lot younger.  However the body does produce more.cum naturally.  i have heard it is good to masturbate a day or so before intercourse, when trying to have a baby.  Produces better baby with fresh sperm.  Being agnostic and zenny i often say, maybe yes, maybe no. i dunno.
  • Kev
    Posts: 87
    Hey,

    Thanks Paul!!! Yeah I'm not sure about the term either.. abstinence could describe it even better! I'm not referring to holding urine.. I just read an article about this and the term continence was used there..

    Best,
    Kev
  • rookrook
    Posts: 1,603
    Opinion.  To paraphrase D.H. Lawrence, ....  abstinence, like virginity is its own reward.   Many of us have found 'conservation' a bit cool during the early months of our journey.
  • And what is the reward of virginity?
  • Kev
    Posts: 87
    :D I don't know.. the Asian way of thinking claims that it would maintain better energy balance and life vitality.
  • AztecAztec
    Posts: 47
    And so does cycling!  Nice Avatar.
  • Kev
    Posts: 87
    :) Thanks Aztec!
  • Well, Kev, i guess i'm willing to five up some better energy balance and life vitality if that is the/a benefit of virginity.  Personally i think i find lots of energy in use of sexuality.  Don't know about energy balance.  What is being balanced?  I'm asking this seriously.  i think this is a great conversation.
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,254
    Kev,
    Sexual continence/abstinence and/or chastity may be a lifestyle choice for a number of people for a great variety of reasons.

    'B Mayfield' aptly labeled the Aneros massagers "Tantric training wheels". Aneros use has led many men into reduced masturbatory/ejaculatory behavior which is in direct accord with aspects of Tantric sexual practices and Taoist philosophy for ejaculatory control and frequency, a topic which occasionally surfaces on this Forum.

    I've found there seems to be a wide range of opinions about an appropriate ejaculation frequency.

    One reference I found was based on seasonal guidelines but not on a man's age -
    Season…… Frequency
     Spring…….1x every 3 days
     Summer… 1x every 15 days
     Autumn…..1x every 15 days
     Winter……. 1x every 30 days

    In Lady Su’s Guide to Ejaculation Frequency
     Age… Frequency if Healthy… Frequency if not Healthy
     20….. 2x a day………………….. 1x a day
     30….. 1x a day………………….. 1x in 2 days
     40….. 1x in 3 days…………….. 1x in 4 days
     50….. 1x in 5 days…………….. 1x in 10 days
     60….. 1x in 10 days…………… 1x in 20 days
     70….. 1x in 30 days…………… none
    You can see there is quite a spectrum here in her recommendations, from twice a day to none at all, depending on age and overall strength and health. So gentlemen, if you are going to be able to do your kingly duty, even if only with one consort, one would be well advised to begin at least with some consideration and observance of the Taoist guidelines for ejaculation control and the conservation of energy.

    Taoists believe that every tiny part of the penis need to be equally stimulated. Over stimulation of any part damages your sexual energy. You need to see masturbation as a form of exercise for your cock. If you went to the gym and just exercised your upper body the rest of your body would look out of proportion. When wanking you need to pay equal attention to your entire cock head and shaft. Taoist see wanking as a way of building sexual energy not as a method of ejaculation. They believe that frequency of ejaculation depends on a man's rhythm cycle. This is the frequency a healthy man can ejaculate without losing vital energies and nutrients. They use a formula to show a man's rhythm

    Age x 0.2 = frequency of ejaculation

    e.g. A 40 year old man should ejaculate in a cycle of eight days (40 x 0.2 = 8). It means you can wank or have sex hundreds of times, but it should be in the context of building up sexual energy so that in a cycle of eight days you would have an amazing orgasm. Men can learn to control their cocks by coming close to ejaculation and then backing off.

    From The Tao of Health, Sex & Longevity by Daniel P. Reid - Sun Ssu-mo's advice to men on regulating ejaculation frequency can be summarized as follows :
    By the age of 30, a man begins to lose vitality and should stop squandering his semen recklessly. It is time to give up the habit of masturbation and to become acquainted with the Tao of Yin and Yang.
    By the age of 40, a man has reached the critical turning point in his life. If he wishes to prevent the rapid slide into the grave which undisciplined sexual relations cause at this stage in life, he must now start practicing ejaculation control as a habit.
    By the age of 50, his ejaculation frequency should be no more than once every 20 days.
    By the age of 60, most men should completely curtail ejaculation (but not intercourse). Exceptionally healthy men with strong libidos, however, may continue emitting semen about once a month, or, better yet once in every 100 coitions.
    By the age of 70, if a man is still hale and hearty, he may continue using Dr. Sun's ideal measure of once in every 100 indefinitely.

    While the control of sexual energy applies to both men and women, it is men who tend to suffer the most from poor sexual practices. The ejaculation by men during orgasm creates a significant loss of a man’s vital essences, called Jing. The Chinese text Classic of the Plain Girl provided important guidelines on ejaculation frequency based upon a man’s age and health:

    Age   Good Health
     20    Twice per day
     30   Once per day
     40   Every three days
     50    Every five days
     60   Every ten days
     70   Every 30 days

    One Taoist reference considered a maximum rate of two to three emissions per 10 coituses. Another Taoist believed that if a man can make love a 100 times without emission he will live a long life'. However, a man may best determine his own ideal schedule by increasing the interval between emissions if ejaculation leaves him tired and depressed. A man should feel light and refreshed after sex, not exhausted, empty and uninterested in further sex.

    IMHO, there is merit in limiting your ejaculation frequency in order to build arousal levels for Anerosessions but I don't know that there is a specific formula which will work for you. Like most of the learning involved with Aneros use, it is through your own experimentation that you will find a balanced path.

    image Good Vibes to You ! image
  • isvara
    Posts: 574
    My pennies worth

    What an amazing amount of information.  Everything I have read suggests moderation but not restriction -"use it or  you'll lose it". Restriction may lead to dysfunction. Most of the problem is that we do not treat sex as a normal human function. It is loaded with so much negativity that it is very hard to treat as normal unless aroused. Then we sort of have to step out of the norm to complete the act then slip back in guilt.  
    Terms like virginity, chastity and continence really are confusing.  Virginity for example has to do with male ownership of the woman's off spring! That is the child is his and the breaking of the hymen gives him confidence that it is so.  Never any mention of orgasm for the female! There is no equivalent with males. So a wet dream would be the end of innocence? Perhaps that is where circumcision started!  Nothing to do with orgasm.
    The value of sex may be found in pair bonding. So indiscriminate sex partners may make this difficult later.  There is also the problem with infection that may complicate matters.  One theologian said virginity is only achieved when a relationship is complete - in his idea of virginity was marriage(sex). I like him.
    I am seventy and I absolutely refuse to limit ejaculation to one every 30 day. I ejaculate when every I do and I celebrate that event with wonder and joy that i can still do it even though I have to use Viagra as my Zimmer frame. My wife 70+ orgasms  at least a couple of times a week - that must equated with ejaculation. We seem to be getting younger each year!
    I feel that the whole problem is that generally we cannot handle the energy and power of sex, and cannot enjoy its fantastic experience openly and freely.  We don't seem ever to be able to shake of the negativity of our childhood.  What father could say to his son " Hey son you are a bit up tight go and ejaculate, you'll feel nice afterward."
    Oophs! I've may have had too many wines.
    It is a very good discussion subject. Hits at the heart of the matter.
  • Kev
    Posts: 87
    Hey!

    First of all, Bravo Rumel!!!  Thank you so much for your wonderful reply!!!! You really answered to my original question!! Thanks isvara for your reply too!!! :) I feel really honored!!! :)

    All the best,

    Kev
  • PommiePommie
    Posts: 714
    isvara,
    I must agree with you.

    I am a strong believer in the concept of "use it or lose it"!

    In the years leading up to my using Aneros devices I used to ejaculate about once every there or four weeks and suffered prolonged refractory periods following ejaculation. What's more, it meant I had sex with my wife at about the same frequency as I had little interest in masturbation.

    Whilst I am interested in Taost and Tantric sexual practices, I simply can't accept the advice of Mantak Chia et al, who seem to teach that I shouldn't ever ejaculate. I can understand that I am past the age when ejaculation several times a week is practical, but total abstinence I would find very difficult for me to achieve!

    Since I started regular use of Aneros thingies, I have been having sex with my wife at least once every week, she (at the age of 76) normally has at least two orgasms on each occasion and I usually finish with an ejaculation. Aneros use seems to have reduced my refractory period to just a few hours and I am now ready for sex at almost any time. The reason we don't have sex more often is that my wife is not as interested as I am, but that still doesn't mean we are not much closer than we were a few years back.

    All this is thanks to HIH/Aneros!
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,672
    I used to be a strong believer in ejaculation abstinence. Usually two to three weeks at a time. As this is what had a huge effect in moving my own progress forward and having pleasurable results with the Aneros that didn't involve any stimulation of my penis. Now it seems my body/mind has swung the other way such that when I have a lull in my Aneros sessions, having a super-T seems to really jump up everything for any following Aneros sessions that same day and on. It's taken me a while to figure this out as it is opposite of what used to work. Pretty weird, but I'm not complaining about the results.