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newbie question for married guys.
  • Dutch
    Posts: 1
    Was wondering how you married guy went about telling your wife about the aneros if at all. I've had the helix for about 3 wks. Now and was just looking for some feed back.

    On a side note I really like the helix and the last 2 sessions i've had were the best yet.
  • brine
    Posts: 224
    Dutch,

    Tell her, tell her, tell her. I told my wife before my first Aneros even arrived. It was one of the best decisions I ever made.

    brine (Brian)
  • isvara
    Posts: 578
    I nearly deleted this a irrelevant but in the end posted it. May be off the ball a bit.
    I went along the line 1. prostate health and my cancer avoidance. 2. Keeps me interested. 3. General health in that area and in the "wee" works as you age - PC and BC muscle tone. 4. Backside of prostate a bit like a G spot. 5. Used to be a medical treatment. 6. If applicable good for heamrrhoid. 6. Safe
    But don't over do it. You sound a lot younger than me so some of the above may not be applicable. I have not used all the points above..
    BUT: she will not fully understand so don't push it too hard. She is not a forum member with great understanding. Remember at all times she does not have a prostate!! No she doesn't. She has more dedicated bits - more to say about this one day
  • ten_s_nutten_s_nut
    Posts: 817
    Hello, Dutch.

    Welcome to the Forum (or as I like to call it, Asstronut Mission Control).

    There are a number of threads about wives and Aneros, partnered sex with Aneros, telling your SO, etc. Use the Forum search function to find them.

    I showed my first Aneros, Helix, to my wife when it arrived and explained the whole deal. She thought it was funny, but went along. We enjoy Aneros effects during sex and I bet you will too.

    Best Regards,

    Dave
  • AztecAztec
    Posts: 47
    I had a drink or two before I told my wife.  At first she had a hard time following me because I was all over the place due to my nerves, but eventually relaxed and had a long conversation about the benefits of the toy, and the side effects that are in fact also benefits.   
    This was the BEST thing I could have done for my use.  After telling her, my sessions changed forever.  I love looking at her and saying, "I'll be back, going to have a session.  Ignore me if I'm a little loud."  She just smiles and says have fun.
    She told me she doesn't want to see it in use, but respected me for bringing her into the fold.  Tell your wife, it will set you free, and let you enjoy your Helix even more.
    If you want some good pointers to discuss, read the sister site:  http://www.highisland.com/ 
    Share that site with her too if she is wanting more info on it.

    Please keep us in the loop after you tell her.  Do it when you are comfortable, you won't regret it.
  • XilehXileh
    Posts: 353
    I agree with the above comments - consider telling her. Great information about this topic is in the archives.

    Good luck and welcome!
    Xileh
  • Linum
    Posts: 186

    Yes - tell her.  I am gay, but I told my partner I was going to get an aneros, and then gave him updates on how it was going after I got it.  He now has one himself.


    Sharing thoughts and ideas about sex is one of the pleasures of life.

  • HellyesHellyes
    Posts: 25
    I told my wife and explained the benefits as isvara stated.  She found this forum very quickly and read the Women's perspective post and the Wiki.  Those references convinced her that there was more to it than me going out and buying a sex toy based on some failure on her/our part to have a satisfying sex life.  She then was okay with it.  

    It has been a year plus and she does not inquire about my use or have any interest in incorporating it into our love life.  I am working on that.   

    For me it was key to explain that it was in addition to our sex life and a tool for me to explore and try something new, not me withdrawing (less sex with her) and compensating for some failure (need more or better sex).

    Email her some links and see if she is willing to read up.  Good luck.   
  • slimjm
    Posts: 497
    I told her I was going to try something a little embarrassing to help with prostate congestion I'd been to the urologist for and if she saw this funny looking thing in the back of the bathroom drawer not to be surprised and wondering what it was.  I told her I'd also heard it was supposed to help my sexual performance and I'd try it out with her some if she'd like once I got the hang of how it could work for me.  She told me that was fine since her finger was never gonna go back there.
  • MikeMGX
    Posts: 4
    Hi Dutch. I am a newbie too and I have only had one session, and it was a solo session. My wife knows I got my MGX, but the way I told her was by having her read an article in GQ that I came across. 
    http://www.gq.com/news-politics/mens-lives/201206/sex-put-me-in-coach
    Anyhow, the article is about a sex coach and discusses the use of sex in exploring each other. He also gives a couple of free tips at the end and suggest trying an Aneros during sex. I've been wanting an Aneros for a while and didn't want to hide it so this was my opportunity. I purchased her a Lelo "Liv" vibrator and got myself a MGX. I had her read the article and then I busted out the toys. Her concern was, "Who's ass does that go into?" She was relieved to hear it wasn't hers but I did say that is something we are going to have to work up to. 
    :P
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,257
    MikeMGX,



    You've likely already seen the PERIDISE & TEMPO  Aneros models. Just as a reminder, these two models are usable by and effective for women as well. The Peridise would be an excellent way to introduce your wife to the pleasures of anal stimulation, another avenue for mutual pleasurable pursuits.
    VibesGood Vibes to You ! Vibes


  • MikeMGX
    Posts: 4
    Good call Rumel. Ever since I accidentally stuck my dick in the wrong hole years ago, she's never been interested in trying anal play. But then again a non lubed dick in the ass would turn me off too if that was my only experience. :-$
  • Yes tell her. If not for the health benefits you can always slip away when your partner is too tired. Or maybe she will take advantage of you. Win win situation.
  • I explained the benefits .

    They are quite readily available on a lot of reputable sites including livestrong. Once I started we discussed it nightly. But my improved erection and orgasms intrigued her. The she started asking about butt plugs for her. This is a woman who threatened to get a do not enter sign tattooed on her butt.

    We have sexy talks all the time now. Best thing I ever did.
  • artformartform
    Posts: 1,481
    My wife and I discussed what we each wanted, including my first aneros (MGX) and we when to the big city and the best available adult toy store and each got what we wanted for solo and sharing!!!

    TELL HER!! and begin with the prostate and urogenital male health benefits for the soft introduction.

    all the courage to share this information and the energies you may well develop with your partner is the ultimate orgasm here and always all

    artform

    as we rewire
    we are all reconnected

  • XilehXileh
    Posts: 353
    It's an older thread, but the advice offered is timeless. Yes, tell her. It is a little awkward, but the honesty can open new doors in and out of the bedroom. Besides the health possibilities, my wife loves the new sensitivity. It really has helped keep love fresh after 33+ years.

    Xileh
  • Badger
    Posts: 648
    Since my back surgery, I've had some difficulty reaching back there.  It's been a good excuse for my wife to have to participate somewhat, if only to help me pull them out.  Especially the Tempo and Peridises, because they fit so tight to the opening I "can't" reach them so she has to pull them out.  It kind of squicks her out, but I just tell her I had another "hemorrhoid" session, and I need her help.  The more she helps, the less it should squick her out, eventually leading her into being turned on by it all.  I hope.
  • I'm really glad this thread was revived. I just signed up yesterday but have been active on the forums reading things since July of last year. I was interested in something for solo work as my wife is not terribly sexual(I was her second) and so I end up somewhat out on an island, so to speak. I could easily obtain action from nearly any place I go but that's not what I'm after. I would much rather be able to accommodate myself and do it frequently. I had concerns about use due to a rather moderate case of active hemorrhoids and wasn't sure if this would be right for me. I thought it would help by increasing blood flow and muscle tone of the area, it turns out that seems to be correct. I also am concerned with the family history of polyps which I think could be helped with an aneros as well. I would be interested in any advice on which one to select for Someone who hasn't delved into the butt-play foray yet. Thanks in advance!!
  • XilehXileh
    Posts: 353
    @mk23socom - with your family history, I hope you are seeing a physician regularly.

    A good starter is the Helix or Syn. The model can also be influenced by your height. The Eupho is a good second step. Many have several to change up, the therory being there can be "muscle memory" and sensitivity can diminish over time using only one model. Research the forums for more information. Model selection is highly personal. And bigger is not always better.

    It's good for you to post early and seek advice. There are a lot of experienced people willing to help out.

    Xileh
  • Thanks Xileh,
    So far so good with the physicals.. Trying to keep an eye out early so if something comes up, it can be taken care of before its too late. I don't want surgery for the hemorrhoids since I've had them in some capacity for about 13 years.. I feel this is a better preventive measure and can be fun too.. I'm a tall guy at 6'4" so I figured that might dictate what may be a better choice early on. Thanks again
  • artformartform
    Posts: 1,481
    Hi mk23socom!!

    Welcome aboard here. You might also consider and MGX or, if you are under 5'9" an SGX, both with satisfaction guarantee. They have a unique lightly ridged stem which provides more anal stimulation and sphincter responses that might benefit your rhoids. Aneros Peridise sets are designed specifically for rhoids therapy and ultimately prevention by High Island Health, Aneros' parent company. Check out these models called Peristal at HIH: http://www.highisland.com/hemorrhoid-massage-treatment/

    All the best!!

    artform

    as we rewire
    we are all reconnected

  • artformartform
    Posts: 1,481
    Didn't see your post above until after mine was processed! :D  MGX for you!; 6'4" here too.

    artform
  • @mk23socom the best thing I ever did was tell my wife. It opened up a whole new line of chat. We text each other little teases. We are not I'm such a hurry anymore. The health benefits are amazing and the emotional benefits surprising.
  • So much information to digest! Good thing I am forcing myself to wait for another month until I finish a credit card payment off!!

    I spoke with the wife about it a while back and she just laughed uncomfortably and changed the subject.. I was trying to open new doors with her but I'm not hitting the right buttons..
  • isvara
    Posts: 578
    @mk23socom. Re hemorrhoids. I have had the most amazing results using the narrow neck SGX and MGX. Initially the wider neck helix type aggravated the 'rrhoids'. To strengthen the sphincter muscles and tighten the area from time to time II pulled against the narrow necked Aneros. Now I can use the Helix type but alway after use in tighten up the sphincters a couple of times.