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biggest problem...
  • newbie1
    Posts: 4
    The biggest problem is that I cannot get a minute alone in the house. It has been 2 months now and I can't seem to be alone for a session. My wife does not know I use the aneros, although she may have found it. So, maybe she does but I have not informed her of it's use. I almost feel angry that my family is around because I want to have that feeling again. I have almost thought of going off camping for a few nights with a joint and my aneros and not come out of the tent for the entire time.
    How do others that are married with children find the right time to have some fun?
  • rookrook
    Posts: 1,604
    [QUOTE=newbie1;100402]The biggest problem is that I cannot get a minute alone in the house. It has been 2 months now and I can't seem to be alone for a session. My wife does not know I use the aneros, although she may have found it. So, maybe she does but I have not informed her of it's use. I almost feel angry that my family is around because I want to have that feeling again. I have almost thought of going off camping for a few nights with a joint and my aneros and not come out of the tent for the entire time.
    How do others that are married with children find the right time to have some fun?Consider this:

    -- Along with some flowers and a dinner out, open a dialog on g-spot and p-spot toys and go shopping either online or over the counter.
    -- Ask your spouse how you can introduce those toys into your into your foreplay.
    -- Explore her ideas and build on those. Be sensitive to her perceptions and reservations about gay/bi/anal concerns.
    -- Perhaps, aim for some extended foreplay where you can get a head start for some solo play.
  • hydrogen
    Posts: 115
    Rook was right about letting your wife in the scheme. If you can't right now, there are other options.

    1. Do the session in your car in a seclude area.
    2. Get your wife to agree you giving her oral only. So you can insert your Aneros and focus on moaning and licking any part of her body so long she's passive participant. I sometimes lick my gf's feet with Aneros inside me just before bed time. I have foot fetish. You have to find some of her body part that you enjoy licking.
  • ten_s_nutten_s_nut
    Posts: 817
    Hello, newbie1.

    The advice rook provided is spot on. Speaking as a guy with 3 kids at home and no time in the day to play with Aneros, I found the best thing to do was insert the device at bedtime. Initially, I got the Aneros to treat BPH symptoms and told my wife it was a medical thing.

    Once I started getting the sexual benefits from the device, I told my wife how enjoyable it was and bought her a sex toy we could use together (WeVibe). We tried it and she "got" it. Then, she bought her own toy.

    If your wife doesn't own any sex toys, this might be a good time to buy her a one as a gift. I recommend a "rabbit" type.

    The old cliche about communication being one of the keys to a good marriage is true. Talk, and more importantly, listen.

    Cheers,

    Dave
  • thhn
    Posts: 425
    my favorite sessions are done outdoors. go for a walk and find a secluded area
  • I am a student and have to constantly switch between my apartment and my small home (for vacations) where someone is typically home as some point and people think they can walk in your room whenever they please. Being back at my apartment I realize how incredibly better sessions are when I am either completely alone or know that my roommate is on the other side of the house passed out. So I get many more opportunities to play and have the added benefit of knowing that no one will hear me or just walk in or even by my door due to its location.
  • The_BishopThe_Bishop
    Posts: 810
    I think in the interest of harmony with your wife you should tell her. If you do not, you will become more and more frustrated and blame her for your lack of ability to have sessions. If you could communicate with her, perhaps she could arrange some quiet time for you.
  • newbie1
    Posts: 4
    Thanks for the replies. And yes I do start to get angry because I cannot get that time alone. It is just difficult for me to come out and tell her about me using the aneros. She does not masturbate herself, so I think it is difficult for her to understand my need to do it. I have tried for years to get her to play with herself and she just will not do it. When we have foreplay she gets so worked up that she needs me in her because she has not experienced going past that feeling by herself. What's a guy to do?
  • The_BishopThe_Bishop
    Posts: 810
    Does she not masturbate because she thinks it is morally wrong or she sees no need for it because she has you?
    I think she would want you to be happy and she would understand there is nothing wrong with using the Aneros. If you explained the potential of the device she would be supportive of it's use.
  • Linghaman
    Posts: 231
    My wife knows I use it but I find that I have much better success if I am alone. Our sexual relationship is one where I drive and she is the passenger. As a result if she is there I am thinking of her and not me, thus no success. I feel wierd and selfish going it alone if she is in the house. As a result the best times I have to use the aneros are in hotels. I travel for work once every two - three weeks. The other super o time i get is without aneros .... those i do two or three times a week. We have a king size bed so I retreat to the far side and sail away for an hour or two.

    In your situatiuon there are prbably budget motels around somewhere .... tell a white lie that you are going to hockey game with friends or something. Or you can just tell her about it and see if you can work something out as ten s nut did. For me his suggestion doesn't work because as much as I have tried to get my wife into toys she won't use them she says she wants the real thibg.