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Covert use, revisited. (Also some rambling social stuff)
  • Anon17564
    Posts: 57
    Hello again.

    Think this is about the third time I've returned, still no Aneros yet. Promise I haven't forgotten about this, though - circumstances haven't quite turned out the way I'd hoped and, for a variety of reasons, I still live with my parents. Still.

    I am now back to considering how I'd go about obtaining and using one of these discreetly - as in, nobody should ever even suspect me of it. (I'm rather shy.) As such, I have narrowed my anxieties and areas of concern down to a few areas. I'm posting this here, partly to help my own planning process, but also in case anybody else is in a similar situation to myself. Please, feel free to add further comment or other areas to be cautious. It'll help :)

    (Note: I live in England, for any part concerning local variation in services).


    • Delivery. As I live far from any retailers (I've looked at all the local sex shops' online directories, there's hundreds of similarly shaped cocks, rabbits, fleshlights, plugs, vibes, but even an Aneros imitator is rare), it's looking like it's gonna be a Helix from Buy Adult Sex Toys & Sexy Lingerie - Free UK Delivery At Lovehoney . However, I cannot guarantee on any given day that the house is going to be occupied with only myself. I am not willing to risk anybody else being here when the box arrives, and, conversely, I am not willing to risk myself NOT being here, as my collection centre's miles away, off all major public transport links, and I don't drive. (Also, my parents might just be really helpful and pick it up for me on the way from work, and ask what it is. Bad bad bad bad bad.)

    How to solve this first step? Parental work patterns are unreliable. Friends are out of the question. Is delivery to a local post office an option in the UK? I asked at the post office a year ago, but received a negative response. Don't know if anything's changed since then.

    Solution I'm leaning most towards: Perform multiple "dry runs" by ordering innocuous items (e.g. books) from online retailers and see how that turns out. Use data from that when purchasing the aneros (i.e. how likely problems seem to be to occur, how likely my box is to be opened before I get to it if I'm not the one opening the door, etc). Sensible?

    • Storage. I can't guarantee that any of the drawers in my room is truly private; I have younger cousins stay occasionally who I really do not want to see my device, or any of the paraphenalia associated with it. Also, my parents have a pretty poor approach to privacy.

    I'm actually kinda stumped on this one. I'm guessing a padlocked box somewhere out of the way (e.g. under bed) is pretty much the only way to do this?


    • Lubrication. Lubricants are depletable. That's more deliveries, or visits to sex shops, or whatever other method I come up with to covertly get lube. Every top-up is a risk of detection. What about improvised lube? When playing around down there, I have in the past found that hair conditioner is very slippery, but is that a health risk and would it be suitable on an Aneros? Is there another sort of improvised lube I could use? I'm not stupid enough to try to use spit or go dry, that's just a bad idea all over.
    • Clean-up. Just what exactly does this entail? Could I do this with just bathroom soap and water? Washing up liquid?
    • Importance of rectal cleaning. Uh... how important is this? :P There's no way at all that I could get anything purpose-built for it unless it's reusable. If it's important, is there any improvised way of doing it?
    • Session duration - how long does a session typically last? Also, if startled, how quickly can one abort the session?

    Apologies for dropping a post like this again, but I really, really want to experience this. The moment I'm truly confident in my ability to do this without risk, I'll take the necessary steps. Unfortunately, anxiety's a bitch :P

    I wish you all luck on your journeys, while I still struggle to find where to place the first step.
  • Hi there,
    I recently started renting an apartment, but I am still in the process of moving stuff and arranging things... so to a couple of weeks from now I will probably spend most of my time at my parents' house. And yes, I have had all of your problems to tackle. I must note from the start that I have owned an MGX since 2007, but I only had my breakthrough a couple of months ago when my parents were on a long holiday and I was home alone. Yes, anxiety is a bitch... I don't think I can ever remove that factor when I don't know for sure the house will be empty for a whole day. I don't want to discourage you, not at all, I have had many fun sessions when the stars aligned and my parents were away for a while. I even had some sessions extend after the moment they had returned. But it's more of a hassle. Starting the cleanup after lifting myself up from my mattress (which I put on the floor, for less noise) after a good session, at one o'clock in the night is not very fun. But it's worth it.

    Receiving the package. One solution I have used in the past is to ask a good friend to lend his address to me. That way there is no connection, there is trust between friends, and their parents won't be interested, especially if this friend receives packages frequently. Remember, the box will always be plain, it won't say OMG SEXTOY FOR THE BUTTHOLE :P Receiving packages hasn't been much of a problem for me since I started ordering all sorts of things from eBay, our domestic version of eBay and China (the extreme deals haha). When I receive a small package I can always open it quickly, move the contents somewhere safe and say that it was an expansion card for my PC, and yes I have installed it already. I have never been asked to point at a card in my box :)

    Storage. I just had an idea... if you have a PC, you can replace the back screws with thumbscrews (or not) and use an empty slot somewhere (or the surface of a side panel) for storage. I have never done this, but if pressed I know I would :P Ha, if you have a Dell Precision (probably not) it even has a intrusion detection message on startup :)

    Locking the door. At one point I had improvised a rod to block the doorhandle from going down, as my door doesn't have a lock with a key. I started to use it, when questions were posed I said I needed peace for my new hobby of meditation, and since my parents have a habit of waltzing in my room whenever they please I had a good point. So yes, you need some history on that one.

    Lube... I have no problems with buying some K-Y in the big city or even at my hometown. Use proper lube, read up about the rectum and the bloodstream, even K-Y is frowned upon a bit here.

    Cleanup. I fold my play towel, put the mattress back on the bed, get everything in a normal configuration before I unlock the door. Then I go to the bathroom and wash all the paraphernalia with some soap, and when I return to my room I wipe with some alcohol.

    Rectal cleaning. Don't worry about that one if you eat healthy and fibre rich food, or if you don't have any problems with your BM in general. Common knowledge says that a couple of hours after BM the rectum is as clean as before the BM. I don't bother with enemas or douches. If you sense the presence of something down there... there is little you can do but to douche, or wait for the next BM.

    Duration. Don't be surprised that if you are having fun, three hours or more can easily be spent.

    Don't worry, be creative... don't fear.

    Cheers...
  • PommiePommie
    Posts: 722
    Anon17564,
    You have received some excellent advice fro Pareidolia and I would like to add just one quick suggestion.

    Why not come out in the open and tell them a version of the truth? Tell your folks that you have done your research on the web and have come across a couple of sites that give advice on Prostate health. You could just Google "Prostate Health" or better still, go to the High Island Health (HIH) website. HIH is the parent company that produces the Aneros range of massagers.

    Tell your family, and anyone else who needs to know, that you are looking after your health. BTW, I have a legitimate use for the Peridise range of massagers (also Aneros devices). If you want to find out what that is, just read the Aneros Wiki! That's how I got round the problem of coming out with the truth. (I'm not gay BTY)!

    Best of luck and enjoy the journey.
  • Anon17564
    Posts: 57
    Thanks for the advice, Pareidolia!

    Pommie; much as I'd love to be open about this, there's no way I could have anyone I know in RL know about this. Sorry, it'd be great if I could tell them, but as it is I'm not capable of actually doing that. I won't go into the specifics of why, but it's mainly anxiety problems again. Thank you for the advice anyway, though - just, knowing what I know about my own situation, I couldn't do that.
  • Stay the hell out of my mail. If you go snooping, you'll find out more than you want to know. You have been warned.


    It's your address too, you know.