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Still nothing from Helix. What should I do?
  • Aksel
    Posts: 30
    I've been using the Helix for a while (a few weeks now) and I'm still having the same problem as when I started: no sensations at all. The way it sits and the angle just don't seem right. I think it's because the p-tab isn't anchoring it. Unless I squeeze as hard as I can, it doesn't even make contact with my perineum, and this is the only way I can feel any prostate feedback. Even then, I could take it or leave it. Nothing special. Is it possible that my prostate just hasn't been "awakened" yet? Sure. But I'm almost positive it's not making contact the way it should. I ordered the medicine dropper (at great shipping expense) and used its cap to augment the tab as suggested by Darwin, but the extra 1/8th of an inch (plus padding) wasn't enough to make a difference.

    Nothing I do seems to be working. It's not pivoting properly, I'm just sucking it in. I went back to the MGX for a few sessions for comparison purposes, but I didn't notice any difference at all. The MGX seems to have its own untold reasons for not making contact. Barring some radical and complicated modification to the Helix tab, I don't think it's going to work for me. So my question is: what is it about the other models that make them only for the more "advanced" users? I'm not intimidated by size, but some of them have similar designs to the models I already own and look as though they would present the same problems.

    You'll have to forgive my frustration. Two different models, a month's worth of sessions, long periods of abstinence, and $150 haven't yielded so much as a peep from my insides, so it's wearing me down.
  • ssw1
    Posts: 70
    I feel you on that one i'm in the same boat.I was told to move up from the helix to the progasm. So just maybe size dois matter!!!
  • msbwo
    Posts: 2
    I felt nothing with the helix. I moved up to the progasm. This is much better. I can feel it touching the prostate when I push it in. On a good day, I have what seems like a dry orgasm when I insert it and goes past the prostate. I also have the vice. I am not impressed with it yet. I think it may be too soft for me.
  • AztecAztec
    Posts: 47
    To much reaching, thinking and wanting I'm suspecting.
    Let go, and don't expect anything at all. You are still building your muscle strength down there. There are many muscles that have yet to wake up, including the PC muscle. Until these 'wake up', sensations maybe limited. I know you've read through countless threads here. Some folks have taken years to feel anything. Slow down, enjoy what you may or may not have and it will blossom in the end. Take your time with this, it isn't a race.
  • ScottD
    Posts: 25
    Aksel,

    When I am very relaxed, I know if the aneros is contacting my prostate because I can feel my pulse on it. Sometimes I get that when completely at rest, but usually it takes a very slight pc contraction. My first question would be whether or not you are truly relaxed. And I mean, really, really relaxed. Try audio aids to help you relax if you haven't already. Then, use a slight pc squeeze. If you still feel nothing, that leads me to my next question.

    Could the handle be getting in the way? That was my problem and the positioning difficulties you are having sound very familiar. With the handle still in place, it would either sit away from the body, the problem you appear to be having, or the p-tab pressed painfully into my perineum if I didn't pad it. Movement was extremely minimal unless I used very strong contractions. After cutting off the handle of my Helix last month, it seemed to settle into a much better place. Now, keep in mind, I left the thing intact for an entire year because I really wasn't sure the handle was the problem. If it had been obvious, I would have tried it a lot sooner.
  • Woodsman
    Posts: 102
    Aksel

    I'm with Aztec on this. I felt the same way for several months. Nothing at all. I seriously wondered if I even had a prostate. Now, the electricity starts the moment I insert the tool. Don't worry about whether you have the right model, the effect of the P tab, or whether you can feel prostate contact. As my own prostate slowly began to awaken, I came to realize that those issues were nearly irrelevant. Fact is, once it happens, you will feel it no matter what model you stick in there. Use enough lube, work on your breathing, and most of all, your state of mind. Resist every sense of impatience. Remember, most of this is happening not in the pelvis but in the head. This journey is a kind of meditation. It will take its own sweet time,and the pace is different for each of us.
    I think you're on the right track with the extended periods of abstinence (avoiding ejaculation). For me this was critical.

    Hang in there. No matter how long it takes, once you get there, you will be glad you stuck with it.
  • Aksel
    Posts: 30
    [QUOTE=Aztec;94886]Some folks have taken years to feel anything.
    That's what worries me and also why I'm so eager to see some sign that I'm even doing this right. Would it be a stretch to say that making no prostate contact is not productive toward the journey? First, all I wanted was some pleasurable sensations. Then, all I wanted was identifiable prostate contact. Now, all I want is for Aneros to not be a chore. Between all the prep work (rectal cleaning) and the relaxation, concentration, etc...by the time I'm 30 minutes in, I'm simply tired of having it in me.

    [QUOTE=ScottD;94888]My first question would be whether or not you are truly relaxed. And I mean, really, really relaxed. Try audio aids to help you relax if you haven't already.
    As per suggestions by other users, I set up a 90-minute playlist of soft, instrumental music specifically for my Aneros sessions. After a hot shower, I lie in a warm bed in a dark room with the covers over me and set my playlist on random. This is literally the best I can do to relax without chemical aid.

    [QUOTE=ScottD;94888]Then, use a slight pc squeeze. If you still feel nothing, that leads me to my next question. Could the handle be getting in the way?
    Nope. I cut the handle off as soon as I took it out of the packaging.


    [QUOTE=Woodsman;94891]Don't worry about whether you have the right model, the effect of the P tab, or whether you can feel prostate contact. As my own prostate slowly began to awaken, I came to realize that those issues were nearly irrelevant. Fact is, once it happens, you will feel it no matter what model you stick in there.
    This is the first time I've heard this particular view. I'd like to believe myself capable of that, but for someone wound up as tight as I am, I doubt I can "awaken" my prostate without ever touching it.

    [QUOTE=Woodsman;94891]Use enough lube, work on your breathing, and most of all, your state of mind. Resist every sense of impatience.
    Using plenty of lube (in fact, I'm running out) and I'm following the breathing guidelines in the Aneros Wiki article. As for impatience, resisting impatience in turn makes me impatient. I try to go session by session with no thought to the sessions before or after, but like I said, with no perceivable feedback from my body, it's very hard.

    [QUOTE=Woodsman;94891]I think you're on the right track with the extended periods of abstinence (avoiding ejaculation).
    That's part of what makes this so frustrating. I have a high libido and this abstinence thing is driving me up the wall.
  • darwindarwin
    Posts: 1,196
    aksel-

    i feel your pain, and sorry you're not having fun and are getting frustrated. it is possible that the progasm could make a difference, but not likely enough to throw good money after bad. so i say hold off on that.

    you say that, even with the dropper cap, it doesn't make contact. we've seen lack-of-contact on rare occasions before. kind of strange. i assume you are trying all kinds of positions. it seems like this is either anatomical, ie, your rectum is shaped differently, or muscular, ie, your anus and rectum muscles are preventing it from sitting right. but, in either case there isn't much you can consciously do. if it is muscular it may well improve as you go along.

    what happens if you use your hand to gently push it in further?

    also, you say that the mgx is not making contact. are you referring to the p-tab, or internal contact?

    i am among the fellas who at first felt absolutely nothing. and it was for a long long time. we don't know why this happens to some and not others.

    what we need to do is get you to feel something, somehow. if you can feel any whiff of pleasure your body will have something to pursue.

    what is your experience with anal stimulation?

    the only thing i can think of now is to go to Plan B, which is to explore male-multiple-orgasm with techniques other than the aneros. try this to increase your sensitivity:
    • check out the Nipplie Orgasms group on yahoo. plenty of guys there having dry orgasms with nipple alone. in your case, try nipple stim with the aneros inside you, but completely forget about the aneros. let it come along for the ride to learn a little bit.
    • try using your finger on your anus. learn that you can get extremely aroused doing just that. that will increase its sensitivity and maybe it will start responding to the aneros
    • if you are going to throw more money at it, check out KSMO, a non-aneros program for getting at MMO.
    • or, alternatively, if you're gonna spend money, consider the peridise beginner set. that will dodge the p-tab issue altogether.


    also, don't drive your self crazy w/ abstinence. that is counter-productive. just give yourself a day off before your MMO work.

    darwin
  • HelixerHelixer
    Posts: 566
    I chose the Helix as my first model after reading most users thought it was the best model to start with.
    It's my worst model to date!
    The models that have worked best for me so far have been the cheapest ones!
    Personally I prefer the MGX to the Helix anytime, or the Maximus to the Progasm ICE or the smallest of the Peridise advanced set to the Eupho. (Thus I'm a little apprehensive about the Vice and the Tempo and patiently awaiting the reviews).But I don't think you'll ever regret buying the whole collection, some models work better at other times.(Last year at one point I was using the Eupho almost exclusively)

    @aksel:
    - Do you use enema as well as lube the Aneros? This makes a big difference IMO
    - Bodyposition: the prescribed position of lying on the side with 1 or both knees pulled up to your chest only ever resulted in a handsfree orgasm for me.The bodyposition that's proven itself over the years is on my back with feet up on the raised side with my body sloping down.This is the position I'm predominantly in during the session with the occasional on my side to watch erotica and sex up my session.
    -Contractions: the way to do it IMO is to have 'the machinery running in the background', meaning the focus is on pleasure, mental imagery and imagination can put the pleasure in a context.
    It's like with anything in life. Do you think of how to breath or what muscles to use when you're 'do-ing'?
    NO, it all happens subconsciously and effortlessly. You focus on the concept and the rest falls into place.
    Same with the Aneros, focus on the pleasure, flesh it out by adding context(mental imagery, imagination) and your body will know what to do
    -Nipples does indeed augment the experience, but like pornography you can 'overdose' and become insensitive to the effect. Less is more
  • Aksel
    Posts: 30
    [QUOTE=darwin;94909]i assume you are trying all kinds of positions.
    I've tried on my back, on my side, on my belly (too much penile contact with the bed), on all fours, sitting on my feet, even standing up. None of them seem to make any difference. I've just been doing it on my back, as that's the easiest position in which to relax.

    [QUOTE=darwin;94909]what happens if you use your hand to gently push it in further?
    I can push all four inches of it in (all the way to the "T"), but that causes a bit of discomfort, and it eventually slips back out anyway. The tab makes good contact when it's all the way in like that, but movement is restricted and, like I said, it's not very comfortable during the short time it does stay in that far.

    However, I discovered something during my most recent session. I have a situation very similar to the one you mentioned in this thread, where you would feel definite contact by pushing downward on the tab with your hand to manually pivot it. This is exactly where I am, but that's the only way I can feel anything. No amount of contraction, however strong, can mimic that feeling.

    [QUOTE=darwin;94909]also, you say that the mgx is not making contact. are you referring to the p-tab, or internal contact?
    The MGX has great tab contact (a bit too great). It's my innards that aren't feeling anything. I'm assuming it's pivoting properly, but apart from the tab, it feels exactly the same as the Helix. Nothing. I have a gut feeling (hah! get it?) that it's just pivoting right into my bladder.

    [QUOTE=darwin;94909]what we need to do is get you to feel something, somehow. if you can feel any whiff of pleasure your body will have something to pursue.
    That's all I want. And the more I read on the forums, the less I'm willing to settle for.

    [QUOTE=darwin;94909]what is your experience with anal stimulation?
    I'd say moderate. I've used sizeable toys before. Nothing like Aneros, but toys nonetheless. I also briefly experimented with prostate play in my later teens, so I'm pretty confident I know what contact feels like. In fact, I get more accidental prostate contact from my rectal syringe than either of my Aneros toys...

    [QUOTE=darwin;94909]check out the Nipplie Orgasms group on yahoo. plenty of guys there having dry orgasms with nipple alone. in your case, try nipple stim with the aneros inside you, but completely forget about the aneros. let it come along for the ride to learn a little bit.
    Unfortunately, I tried this already. In this thread, I explained my problem with achieving orgasm through any means. I have enough trouble climaxing from traditional masturbation. Orgasm by nipple play would be impossible (at least for me).

    [QUOTE=darwin;94909]try using your finger on your anus. learn that you can get extremely aroused doing just that. that will increase its sensitivity and maybe it will start responding to the aneros
    When I was more active with anal toys, I quickly learned about anal sensitivity. I never much tried that alone, but again, I have difficulty with orgasm, so I didn't experiment any further.

    [QUOTE=darwin;94909]if you are going to throw more money at it, check out KSMO, a non-aneros program for getting at MMO.
    It's an audio CD and nothing else, correct? I'm assuming this is an entirely mental process. If that's the case, I'll have more luck with Aneros.

    [QUOTE=darwin;94909]or, alternatively, if you're gonna spend money, consider the peridise beginner set. that will dodge the p-tab issue altogether.
    I already feel pretty cheated, whether it's true or not. Parting with more money isn't the most appealing thought, but I might consider it for the Peridise. I didn't even look twice at that model. It looked odd and I had assumed it was for experts only. I'd have to do a little research and see how much of a "beginner" model it really is.

    [QUOTE=Helixer;94910]Do you use enema as well as lube the Aneros?
    I use a rectal syringe to clean myself out. It works very well and the toy comes out squeaky clean every time. As for lube, I do both myself and the toy.

    [QUOTE=Helixer;94910]Bodyposition: the prescribed position of lying on the side with 1 or both knees pulled up to your chest only ever resulted in a handsfree orgasm for me.
    No position I've tried makes any difference that I can feel. I'll try that one a few more times, though.

    [QUOTE=Helixer;94910]Contractions: the way to do it IMO is to have 'the machinery running in the background', meaning the focus is on pleasure, mental imagery and imagination can put the pleasure in a context.
    It's like with anything in life. Do you think of how to breath or what muscles to use when you're 'do-ing'?
    NO, it all happens subconsciously and effortlessly. You focus on the concept and the rest falls into place.
    Same with the Aneros, focus on the pleasure, flesh it out by adding context(mental imagery, imagination) and your body will know what to do
    I assume you're not talking about involuntaries, but rather concentrating less on the contractions themselves. If so, that's what I've been doing for the past few weeks. At first, I was heavy on the contraction side of things, but I was told to back off that and just ease into it. Problem is, I can't concentrate on the pleasure when there's no pleasure to be had.


    Thanks so much to both of you. You continue to keep me from giving up altogether.
  • darwindarwin
    Posts: 1,196
    aksel, since the mgx tab is touching, stick with it and forget the helix for now. if it is pushing too hard, try softening it with the corner of a washcloth.

    about not feeling it inside, that is common at the beginning. there isn't anything you can do about it except stick with it. it is a neurological thing, and a mental thing, not a physical thing.

    KSMO uses a certain kind of erotic vocalization to amplify p-waves.

    can you remind me why you are sure that nipples won't work for you? are you on medication that inhibits arousal and orgasm?

    darwin
  • Woodsman
    Posts: 102
    Aksel
    The reason I suggested that the particular aneros model didn't matter that much right now is that I have a perspective that is closer to your own than you realize. For much of my adult life I have also had a problem reaching orgasm. Clinically it is referred to as "delayed ejaculation," and it is more common than I realized. A few years ago I reached the point where I could no longer orgasm inside my wife, and manual methods became essential. I have been meaning to write about this, because, although this may sound improbable, it has become a blessing in disguise by giving me the freedom to explore other "sub-orgasmic" areas of sensuality.

    For many men, the rewiring process is linear and rapid. For some of is it is more complicated. My own aneros experience has caused me to see the journey as consisting of several distinct phases, (at least for me), the first being the simple process of waking the prostate (this took several months. In phase two, I began learning to understand the new sensations, amplify them, play with them (this has taken over a year). I am now at the beginning of phase three, seeking a dry O. I have no idea how close I am or how my difficulties with conventional orgasm might affect this.

    At this point, my prostate is so sensitive it would be turned on by a zucchini. This is why I am so confident that during this first phase, your worries about aneros models, adequate prostate contact, perineum tab, etc, are not as important as your overall state of mind. Far more important is having the patience and confidence that the goal is there waiting, if you can develop the receptivity to it. As Darwin points out, it is a mental thing. I feel almost certain that you are getting prostate contact with all of the models, you just aren’t feeling it yet.

    Regarding the perineum tab, I would comment that the Tempo doesn’t even have one, yet for me it is now the best tool I have (I will post about this later).

    Regarding the challenges of abstinence, age plays a big role. Over a period of years I have learned to interpret the need for sexual release as pleasure, but I probably would not have been able to do this when I was younger. If you are young you can recharge within hours of an ejaculation. Now that I am older, it takes me a few days, although lately I have noticed this interval has become shorter. Lately some of my best aneros sessions have come eight hours after an ejaculation. This must be played by ear by each of us.

    I think I wasted time at the beginning expecting and wanting an orgasm (which we as males naturally learn to do at an early age). Instead I should have been focusing on recognizing and nurturing the subtle sensory and mental signals that are an important part of this rewiring.
  • Aksel
    Posts: 30
    [QUOTE=darwin;94921]about not feeling it inside, that is common at the beginning. there isn't anything you can do about it except stick with it. it is a neurological thing, and a mental thing, not a physical thing.
    Aside from the tab, it feels exactly the same as the Helix. But I'll definitely switch back to that one and keep grinding away at it incase you're right. (I hope you are.)

    [QUOTE=darwin;94921]KSMO uses a certain kind of erotic vocalization to amplify p-waves.
    Many of these concepts are so foreign, they're actually intimidating. The concept of p-waves falls into that category. I can't even imagine what they feel like. At this stage, I might as well try to imagine infinity. I think moving to something like that would be jumping the gun a bit. Although I'm sensitive to audio stimulation, I have very high auditory perception. Once I memorize anything erotic, it completely loses its effect and becomes useless to me. I'm sure I would have that CD memorized within a month.

    [QUOTE=darwin;94921]can you remind me why you are sure that nipples won't work for you? are you on medication that inhibits arousal and orgasm?
    Oh, I wish it were that simple. In fact, I am on no medications whatsoever. Chemically, I'm quite pure. I don't use drugs, I don't smoke, and I don't drink. I don't take Tylenol, Advil, or any other over-the-counter medications, sleep-aids or painkillers. And I don't drink anything with caffeine (no tea, no coffee...I don't even drink soda.) As far as I know, my body is free of anything [artificial] that would have that effect. I've had this problem for as long as I've known how to masturbate. For the longest time, my penis just would not cooperate. It would often take me 45 minutes or more for just one climax. (Often times, that climax was barely worth the preceding 45 minutes or so.) I have no idea why. In my late teens, I was finally able to piece together various techniques honed over the years and masturbation is only easy for me under these very specific conditions. So, if I have this much trouble with traditional orgasms, I feel that something as advanced and elusive as nipple orgasms is unreachable.

    Don't get me wrong; I still try. I try all kinds of things during my sessions and lately, nipple play has almost always been one of them. However, the sessions where I felt most relaxed, concetrated, and "entranced" have been very calm and very still, so nipple play seems to do nothing more than distract me.

    Which leads me to my next question: how important is arousal? I have the same distraction issue with it as I do with nipple play. The only way I can become truly aroused is by recreating the same conditions as in my masturbation sessions. I can't seem to concentrate and relax while this is going on, and all it does is make me really, really want to masturbate.

    Again, thank you for taking the time to help.
  • Aksel -

    Although no two journeys are identical, there are enough similarities between yours and mine that I'm chuckling and nodding my head up and down as I read your posts.

    My brief history: I've been at the Aneros for twenty-nine months, all of them orgasm-less. Initially, I only obtained pleasure from the Helix if I contracted with all my might -- but I realized from the information that such a direct approach was not going to be effective at achieving an orgasm. Fortunately, Darwin pointed me to the Yahoo Nipple Orgasms Group where I learned a technique to generate pelvic pleasure via my nipples. I found I could get a faint tickling sensation in my prostate if I rubbed my nipples with the Aneros inserted. This faint pleasure would fade in and out during my sessions until, about an hour later, it petered out entirely. Then, two months ago, out of the blue and without doing anything differently, that faint tickling became a mighty roar. Things have taken a positive turn since then and I am finally convinced that I will someday conquer the mountain.

    But I'm not here to talk about myself -- only to offer support and encouragement. You will get through this and eventually find surprising pleasures visiting you. (Funny, but until my recent change-over, when people advised me with these same words, I wanted to lash out and yell, "..But you don't understand what I'm going through!")

    My observations (for what they're worth)...

    Darwin is right. If we don't feel the device contacting us anywhere inside, then we have to remain patient and keep trying. There is no alternative. I convinced myself more than once that I was giving it up for good, but whenever the house was empty, i'd find myself back in bed with that piece of plastic up my ass. It's strangely addictive. For me, this is where nipple stimulation can provide the missing link. There is an unusual connection between the nerves of the nipples and those innervating the prostate and pelvis. (During KSMO, my nipples became my preferred erotic touch.) Please don't confuse this pleasure with "orgasm from nipple stimulation" -- you're merely using those two copper chest buttons to generate interesting pleasure in your nether region. If you need ideas on getting the nipples to respond, then ask away. There's a plethora of tips available. Should the nipple play be distracting during a session, that may indicate that you haven't truly activated the appropriate nerve endings, yet.

    A similar rule seems to apply to the desire to masturbate during a session. I believe when you get into the right neural pathway and the pleasure is coming from deep within you, that masturbation yearning will abate or completely disappear. For me, if I'm craving ejaculatory release in a session, that indicates I'm still in the penile circuit. There's no condemnation in going for it. Sometimes I can get firmly ensconced into the prostate circuit and other times, that penile circuit is just too enticing to pass up. LOL But, that's what tomorrows are for.

    Several months ago, I decided to stick with my modified Helix (handle removed) so that my body could acclimate to one particular device and not be too confused. After that recent fateful evening, I've been rotating through my stock of Aneros toys and finding that each has a unique flavor (not literally -- yuck! LOL). Not only that, each session has become different; sometimes it's mostly anal sensations, sometimes perineal, and other times prostate. But I digress... I suggest you allow yourself some freedom to explore how your body responds to a few different models. If you feel comfortable staying with one model, then that's fine too.

    Lastly, don't let the Aneros or the Super O become a dominant portion of your life. Yes, you'll need to dedicate an inordinate amount of time for sessions, but don't obsess over those sessions or worry about a lack of perceived progress. Keep it in perspective. Oddly, the more you concentrate on it, the less likely it will blossom into what you seek. Maintain a balanced life, pursue other interests, exercise and improve your diet, and if you don't already, take up some form of meditation to learn to calm your mind and chase out any negative clutter.

    Oh...and one more thing! If you haven't already, find an anonymous buddy to communicate with. I'm forever indebted to Love_is for supporting me and being a firm foundation through almost daily Private Messages on this site. That camaraderie has truly kept me from permanently throwing in the towel during my darkest of days.

    Best of luck with this, Aksel. We're all hoping you find success!!
  • drake3
    Posts: 1
    Hello Aksel. I know what you are going through because I have not experienced all the wonderful descriptions of full body pleasure that I have been reading on this forum. However, I have had a little more success than you as I have gotten to very slight P-waves using an MGX and then a Helix.

    My problem (and I am totally guessing) is that my very first session with the toy I went overboard even after reading all the advice here and went for a super-T. I first started out using very light contractions and everything I was feeling was foreign and alien to me since I had no experience with anal/prostate play until that time. My session lasted about an hour and I started to get bored. I looked at some soft-porn I had and that got me aroused. I noticed when I touched the tip of my member it was electric. I had never had tingling so pleasurable like that before with manual stimulation. I finished off with a super-T. That super-T was so good it has been like a narcotic. I keep going back to the toys thinking this is going to be the start of the super-O practice, but almost 4/5 times it ends in the T.

    So actually now I have lost that sensation in the tip after the toys have been inserted, but I have learned to play with the super-T's to the point where I can edge for what seems like 5 minutes building up to the climax. This experience has been incredibly satisfying and made the toys worth their money. These orgasms are incredible. They start with that familiar "tickle" you get when you know you are getting close. It keeps building, but then I can stop manual stimulation and focus on contractions with the toys. I can feel this wave building so slowly and it is so intense I am usually vocalizing loudly. Then I feel this lump of pleasure inside, guessing it my prostate getting ready. It feels like it is blowing up like a balloon and I can feel it start to pulse which is so nice. Then the climax is absolutely amazing. It is so much better than without the toys it leaves me spent for several minutes after.

    I am not recommending going this route since it goes against all known knowledge on this board, but it has kept me interested in the potential of these devices. I am still on my quest for dry-O and the super-O, but for me this detour has been a wonderful experience.

    I wish you the best and don't give up.
  • Aksel
    Posts: 30
    [QUOTE=Woodsman;94932]For many men, the rewiring process is linear and rapid. For some of is it is more complicated. My own aneros experience has caused me to see the journey as consisting of several distinct phases, (at least for me), the first being the simple process of waking the prostate (this took several months. In phase two, I began learning to understand the new sensations, amplify them, play with them (this has taken over a year). I am now at the beginning of phase three, seeking a dry O. I have no idea how close I am or how my difficulties with conventional orgasm might affect this.
    Well, I have to admit I'm more than a little disheartened to know that I'm in such an unfortunate minority and apparently have several months of nothing to look forward to. Being the skeptic that I am, this is exactly what I was afraid of. Before I even made the decision to purchase, I had a feeling it would be different for me, or not even work at all. I've had more than my fair share of disappointment in life and, in my experience, if it sounds too good to be true, it is.

    [QUOTE=Woodsman;94932]A few years ago I reached the point where I could no longer orgasm inside my wife
    Oh, I'm already near this point. Sex has never really been terribly fun for me. I prefer masturbation. No woman or man seems to be able to bring me to climax without some serious effort. And the orgasms from it are peanuts compared to the ones I can give myself.

    [QUOTE=Woodsman;94932]Regarding the perineum tab, I would comment that the Tempo doesn’t even have one, yet for me it is now the best tool I have (I will post about this later).
    Is the Tempo just a Peridise made out of metal? The product page is a bit ambiguous on the differences.

    [QUOTE=Woodsman;94932]Regarding the challenges of abstinence, age plays a big role. Over a period of years I have learned to interpret the need for sexual release as pleasure, but I probably would not have been able to do this when I was younger. If you are young you can recharge within hours of an ejaculation. Now that I am older, it takes me a few days, although lately I have noticed this interval has become shorter. Lately some of my best aneros sessions have come eight hours after an ejaculation. This must be played by ear by each of us.
    This I can believe. I'm 24 and for me the masturbation process consists of almost no preliminary arousal. I just do it, and then it's over. Between sessions, I'm about as sexual as a cold, dead fish.

    Thanks for all you've written. Here's hoping I can find some way to get out of this rut.
  • Woodsman
    Posts: 102
    Aksel
    I don’t think any of us here are psychologists, but I’m willing to bet that most would bet that based on what you have written there is probably nothing physically irregular about you, that the hang-ups you describe are virtually all mental, and many of us have gone through one or another of them at some time in our lives.
    And as long as you recognize these hang-ups, there’s a good chance you can fix them.

    The best news is that you’re only 24. Man, how I wish I had had access to so much information when I was that age. Most of us older guys had no one to talk to about these things.

    First, I know from my own experience in dealing with my orgasm problems that there is no reason to feel disheartened. It would take all day to explain why I say this, but I was really serious when I said my “problem” turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I am grateful to this forum for helping me understand how much more there is to the world of erotic pleasure than the lemming-like single-minded pursuit of ejaculation.

    Second, I am all for healthy skepticism, but this is a case where we need to leave all negative thoughts and doubts at the door. They are guaranteed arousal-killers. Like you, I began to have doubts in the first months as well. In fact, I quit using the aneros for three months because it wasn’t working. I am so glad I picked up again and plowed ahead. I now see those three months as wasted opportunity.

    RE the Tempo: I don’t have a Peridise, so I can’t answer to the similarities, but I would say there is something really unique about its effect, and the stainless steel is far more than just an appearance thing.

    You are already on the right track by recognizing that you are in a rut. In addition to all the good advice posted by others on this thread, I would reiterate the critical factors of patience and positive attitude. Don’t try to force your body to give you pleasure, it doesn’t work. It will only respond if you are receptive.

    At this moment you are an explorer in a strange land. You’ve heard that others have found gold. You have no idea what lies over the next hill. You’ve just lost your compass. A voice in the back of your mind keeps whispering for you to turn back, it’s not worth the effort. But you go on. Because another voice is saying what is there to lose? If I can find that gold, even an ounce or two, it will change my life…
  • Aksel
    Posts: 30
    I'm out of lube and low on hope.

    My most recent session yielded a bit of a disappointment (more than usual). About forty minutes in, after still feeling nothing, I decided to experiment a bit. I tried pushing the MGX in a bit further and was surprised to find the same discomfort as with the Helix. So I took it out for a moment. As I was reinserting, I had an odd little sensation when it pushed past my prostate. It was interesting, mildly pleasurable even, but I couldn't recreate it. So I began pulling on the tab, pressing far downward on it and pushing up on the shaft. Much higher than any contraction could reach. I felt definite contact this way. I played around with this manual pressure for a bit, noticing that it felt rather nice. That stimulation alone gave me an erection. I also got that "leaking" sensation that so many people described. Is this what I should be feeling with contractions?

    I suppose this is good news in a way. At least now I know my prostate exists... However, it seems to be further toward the pelvic floor. If I'm right about this, it'll mean that no Aneros toy is going to work.


    [QUOTE=slipperybugger;94958]Lastly, don't let the Aneros or the Super O become a dominant portion of your life.
    Too late. It's been dominating my life and my thoughts since I found this site. After reading some of the descriptions, how could I not obsess? I've been dwelling - probably on an unhealthy level - on the concept of a "Super-O" every day for the past forty days. Even the other items, dry-o's, p-waves, rewiring... It's all been the focal point of a frightening and uncomfortable level of introspection. I go to sleep thinking about it and it's my first thought when I wake up. I just...can't...let it...go.

    [QUOTE=drake3;94959]I finished off with a super-T.
    My very first session was almost identical...except with a complete lack of any sensation or "Super-T."

    [QUOTE=drake3;94959]Then the climax is absolutely amazing. It is so much better than without the toys it leaves me spent for several minutes after.
    I'd be one of the happiest people alive if I could get to even that level. Count your blessings, sir. You're miles ahead of me.

    [QUOTE=Woodsman;94981]First, I know from my own experience in dealing with my orgasm problems that there is no reason to feel disheartened.
    I'm not disheartened about the orgasm problem itself. Although that does suck, I found a way around it a long time ago. What I'm disheartened about is the fact that I'm not among the "linear and rapid" majority. So many men are off to Super-Os in no time with relative ease, but I don't get to have that pleasure. I'm sure you can understand why I'm bitter about that.

    [QUOTE=Woodsman;94981]Second, I am all for healthy skepticism, but this is a case where we need to leave all negative thoughts and doubts at the door. They are guaranteed arousal-killers.
    I do try. All the problems I'm having are creating a vicious cycle. The more I try to shut them out, even for just a few minutes, the more I end up focusing on them. It's like when there's a sore in your lip. You can't help but mess with it with your teeth.

    [QUOTE=Woodsman;94981]In addition to all the good advice posted by others on this thread, I would reiterate the critical factors of patience and positive attitude.
    Those are two more issues I've been at war with for as long as I can remember. I've tried meditation before, but nothing came of it. I would either never truly "fall into it"...or I'd just fall asleep.

    [QUOTE=Woodsman;94981]At this moment you are an explorer in a strange land. You’ve heard that others have found gold. You have no idea what lies over the next hill. You’ve just lost your compass. A voice in the back of your mind keeps whispering for you to turn back, it’s not worth the effort. But you go on. Because another voice is saying what is there to lose? If I can find that gold, even an ounce or two, it will change my life…
    I've never heard it put quite so eloquently. Well done.
  • darwindarwin
    Posts: 1,196
    aksel-

    from your posts i am getting the sense that you might benefit from some professional support by way of counseling. the way to look at it is these folks have worked pretty hard in their career and profession to discover tricks that some of us need to help get out of ruts. your thinking says "rut" to me. if you can gather up the energy to seek a little help, you might find that getting out of the rut is easier than you think, and you'll be glad of it.

    darwin
  • cyrezcyrez
    Posts: 109
    [QUOTE=Aksel;94967]....Is the Tempo just a Peridise made out of metal? The product page is a bit ambiguous on the differences.

    Not really, they might look similar, but there is some differences in shape, the biggest peredise is almost ball shaped, but the tempo is larger than the largest perdidise reaches further and are pointier, shaped like the head of a missile, the stem is also a little bit different and then there is the weight, it's a amazing little thing that is very powerful, and it kicks in almost right away.Im a grinder but got results from it almost immidiatly, even though i only got small responses from all the other models i have.
  • Woodsman
    Posts: 102
    Aksel:

    That mildly pleasurable sensation you felt, along with the erection and leaking feeling, may sound trivial to some, but in this case it may well be a real breakthrough. As I recall, that is very similar to my first awareness several months after I started this journey. I would say it does not matter at all that the feeling is not exactly where you expected it to be, all that matters is that there is a feeling. Remember, the entire pelvic area is loaded with nerves. The pleasure sensations can and will move around, especially into the nerves surrounding the anus. I’m pretty sure that the act of awakening our prostates awakens adjacent pathways as well. I continue to believe that your aneros models will in fact touch the right spots. With patience, you will be amazed at how much more intense this tiny spark of feeling can become, if you let it.

    But don’t scare it off. You won’t like hearing this, but it could take months, and it will go at its own pace. Regarding being envious of those lucky guys who write about having their first super-o before the postman is out of sight, welcome to the club. Nobody said life was fair.
    Think of it this way: fewer than one man in a million even knows prostate orgasms are possible. We are part of a select club, and you are lucky: you have many years ahead to figure it out and enjoy it when you do. Take your time.

    Right now it sounds as if you have become obsessed with trying to make your aneros toys give you the all the pleasure others have reported, and as long as you are in that mode, there’s a chance they never will. I agree with Darwin, you could really benefit from some counseling, perhaps not necessarily about your specific arousal/sexual problems, but maybe just about the more general issue of how to develop a more positive and patient outlook on life. If you can do that, I suspect a lot of the specific sexual problems you write about will subside, if not disappear.
  • Woodsman
    Posts: 102
    One more thing. I just read Rumel's latest post, " Identifying Obstacles to Progress." I encourage you to print this out and memorize it.
  • ScottD
    Posts: 25
    Aksel,

    Don't despair. It took me a year to feel anything. One year, nothing. I already mentioned that, in my case, the handle was getting in the way, but the effect on my outlook was the same as yours. I think I was going a month between (ineffectual) sessions for several months before I made the change. The only thing that kept me going was the faint hope that I just hadn't gotten the conditions right, or that my body needed a bit more time to get in tune with itself. I would be cautious about jumping to the conclusion that your prostate is in the "wrong" place. I had concerns about that as well, as I could get good sensations by pushing the thing further in than it wanted to go, but it turned out to be more of an issue of the thing being cocked backward by the handle.

    Even after I had solved that, it took me a few sessions to be sure I was feeling anything. By that point my expectations were low, but I had developed some good habits that, once I started using them correctly, helped me progress quickly since. My last 4-5 sessions have been equivalent in many ways to some of the very best sex I've ever had with my wife (and we have some very good sex, and often), and that has been without actually having orgasmed, dry or otherwise. It feels so good, in fact, that I'm often surprised when my body isn't pushed over into orgasm. On the other hand, I'm happy for it to keep going. Having ended a session well over an hour ago, I'm still enjoying the aftereffects. I keep making little tweaks to my routine, and discover new types and degrees of sensation.

    And even the successes you will eventually have are not without their little frustrations. Sometimes I'll be going along, feeling things just getting better and better, feeling tension and pleasure that's exactly like an oncoming orgasm, and then everything will kind of just fade a bit and I can't get it back. Interestingly, the same thing happens to my wife. She is one of those lucky women who can orgasm from intercourse alone (and they are always earthshaking to boot), but we're still hit or miss on the success rate. For me, it lends some credence to the idea that prostate orgasms are much closer to g-spot orgasms than penile orgasms.

    Now, this might sound like total nonsense, but what you believe and say can have a huge effect on what happens to you, and right now, I'm seeing a lot of negative statements and expectation of failure. I'm not suggesting that you deny reality and pretend that you've reached your goals when you have not, but I think that, to achieve success, you will need to let go of your expectations and stop talking failure. I would suggest that you put your aneros away for a few weeks and start totally fresh. Quit worrying about what you aren't getting, and believe that you will figure out how to move on to the next stage of your journey.
  • Aksel
    Posts: 30
    Okay, finally time for some good news...I think.

    I haven't had a session since the one I wrote about in my last post. Two days after that (Wednesday), something odd started happening. I think I started having what the Aneros WIKI calls "butt buzz," or "Day-After Effects" (even though it was two days after). Sort of a pleasant whisper of dull...[tinglyness?] in my buttocks and lower back. It seemed to occur at completely random times, not brought on by any arousal or specific thoughts or attentions. It didn't last more than a minute or two and I could barely feel it, but it was there. It was definitely there. That's not a feeling I usually have, certainly never unprovoked like that. It seemed to fade in so gradually, I wouldn't even notice it until I stopped moving. It happened twice at work and twice at home, and actually had me giggling like an idiot for a moment.

    So...I'm assuming this is good news. My only concern is that it only happened after my last session, where all those manual fumblings finally produced something I could recognize as pleasure. Because of this, I can't be sure if that session was responsible, or if it was the month of sessions before it. Either way, I have to admit, having that "butt buzz" for no reason was...pretty neat.

    [QUOTE=darwin;95047]from your posts i am getting the sense that you might benefit from some professional support by way of counseling.
    This touches on something that I've suspected for a long time. I've got to be honest, though... The idea is none too appealing for the simple reason of money. I am not a wealthy man, and counseling can cost anywhere from $50-$150 per session. Since counseling is no quick fix, I'm looking at a thousand dollars, maybe much more.

    [QUOTE=Woodsman;95114]The pleasure sensations can and will move around, especially into the nerves surrounding the anus. I’m pretty sure that the act of awakening our prostates awakens adjacent pathways as well. I continue to believe that your aneros models will in fact touch the right spots.
    It's not that the sensation was in that odd spot (in fact, it didn't seem to have any real center), it's that I only got that sensation with my awkward manual fumbling. I'm just worried that I'll never be able to recreate it without more manual maneuvering since the toy seems to go too deep to touch that spot on its own.

    [QUOTE=Woodsman;95114]Regarding being envious of those lucky guys who write about having their first super-o before the postman is out of sight, welcome to the club. Nobody said life was fair.
    My first love was a man who could achieve multiple ejaculatory orgasms with ease. I do mean ease, and he did it often. This sort of turned my world upside down. I once watched him climax five times in less than ten minutes with no stimulation other than his hand. For years afterward, I tried to find a way to achieve that myself, but I never could. I know it seems silly, but since then I've developed something of a complex about sexual potency and..."missing out" on sexual pleasures. That's why this cuts so deep.

    [QUOTE=Woodsman;95114]Think of it this way: fewer than one man in a million even knows prostate orgasms are possible. We are part of a select club, and you are lucky: you have many years ahead to figure it out and enjoy it when you do. Take your time.
    Now that is something interesting to think about. I'm not yet sure whether I regret finding this place. I suppose time will tell.

    [QUOTE=Woodsman;95114]Right now it sounds as if you have become obsessed with trying to make your aneros toys give you the all the pleasure others have reported
    Actually, at this point, I'm willing to settle for very, very little. Probably even less than you think. In fact, all I really want right now is for my sessions to not be a chore. (And an expensive chore at that. These things weren't cheap, and neither is lube.)

    [QUOTE=ScottD;95149]I would be cautious about jumping to the conclusion that your prostate is in the "wrong" place. I had concerns about that as well, as I could get good sensations by pushing the thing further in than it wanted to go, but it turned out to be more of an issue of the thing being cocked backward by the handle.
    I cut off the handle on the MGX after my very first session with it, and I did the same to the Helix as soon as I took it out of the packaging. Other than my very first session ever, there has never been anything left of the handles to interfere with the toys' movements. It's not a simple matter of pushing it "further in," but pulling it out about halfway, pulling way, way down on the tab, and pushing it up almost directly into the base of my penis, and that's why I think it's possible that my prostate may actually be just a little bit further toward my front and down toward the floor of my pelvis.
  • Woodsman
    Posts: 102
    Aksel:

    That is very good news. There’s little doubt in my mind that the sensations you are experiencing are the first little signals that things are beginning to wake up. Once again, it is reminiscent of my own early experiences. I remember giggling a couple of times, and breaking out in a smile other times, partly because the sensation was so unexpected. And as with you, it was highly random. (These still happen, more frequently than ever, and I get a lot of pleasure out of them. In fact, I can often turn them on now just by thinking about it.)

    At this point your little twinge of pleasure is like a stray kitten that’s been on its own for too long: it’s hungry and it sees that you have a treat in your hand, but it’s afraid to come too close. You patiently hold out your hand while it watches warily. The slightest sudden move scares it away. It will only take the bait if you toss it out a few feet. As time passes, it begins to come a little closer, and eventually it eats out of your hand. But it’s still too soon to try to pet it. With patience and persistence, that comes later. And someday it will be lying on your chest, purring contentedly.

    It’s probably not an exaggeration to say that that part of your mind that stands between you and your pleasure zones has been, like the kitten, a little afraid of you. It won’t begin to respond until you earn its trust. But once you do, your reward is waiting.
  • darwindarwin
    Posts: 1,196
    aksel-

    about being a chore. maybe you should start w/o the aneros, set aside a time a few times a week, like an hour each, and just spend time with your body. do nothing but lie there and appreciate the fact that you are alive, and can breath, etc. and maybe just run your fingers around your body and appreciate that you can even feel at all.

    you need to start with a little self love.

    darwin
  • [QUOTE=Aksel;95234]Okay, finally time for some good news...I think.

    It's not a simple matter of pushing it "further in," but pulling it out about halfway, pulling way, way down on the tab, and pushing it up almost directly into the base of my penis, and that's why I think it's possible that my prostate may actually be just a little bit further toward my front and down toward the floor of my pelvis.

    aksel -

    i think you may be mistaken and may well be at the same place i currently find myself ...

    unless you are physically [B]much[/B] different than the average human male - or VERY MUCH taller than six or seven feet - you are probably not working your prostate

    ... and this is [B]fine[/B]

    what you may well be experiencing is the pleasure of your anterior anal sphincters (external and internal) - and your periurethral glands and penile bulb/root - all sources of pleasure ...

    with work and rewiring the stretching of the muscles at the entrance to your hole - just like the stretching of a man's foreskin over the bulbous glans of his erection - gives terrific pleasurable sensation(s) and pressure on the ourethral glands does the same ...

    this is the place i'm at now

    ... my prostate has yet to be rewired and really its manipulation at this point is not highly erotic

    butt just as you (and i) have learned to generate and accept pleasurable arousal from manipulation below our prostates

    ... we'll arrive at prostate plesure somewhere along our journey

    stay at it, relax, and enjoy what you've got - more will follow if you settle in for the trip

    i believe this

    - rip