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I have tried everything but nothing happens :(
  • Hi everyone.
    After reading through this site & seeing all the great results people were having with the Aneros I decided to order one myself. I purchased the Helix & I was very excited to give it a try as soon as it arrived. With much anticipation the day I received it I gave it a whirl....unfortunately nothing happened. I tried the next day and again disappointed. I waited a few days in between with no sex or masturbating to build up, but again I was left disappointed....I even took a nap with it in me and when I woke up I felt a little sore.
    Now I have gone through this site reading everything I can to get hints, ideas, tips..etc and I know not to expect anything or try too hard and focus on the Helix and the sensations...but there just wasn't any.

    I am not new to anal play and/or to prostate stimulation....my wife has been playing with my gspot for the last 10 years in all different ways (when giving me head, when having sex...) and I myself have used a vibrator on occasion when masturbating. I have also been doing kegal exercises for the past 5 years, so suffice to say, I am not a newbie....except to the Aneros world.

    I know there are many experienced users and all the advice is here to find...I guess what I am looking for is moral support as there really isn't much more to add to why this isn't working for me...because again I have read through this entire site and tried every advice given.

    I am not giving up or quitting....I will continue the journey and hope something will happen......I just hope it doesn't take me years like some people here have experienced :o

    Thanks for listening.
    Chris.
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,265
    Hi Chris,

    Welcome to the Aneros Forum,

    I think it is great you have taken the time to do extended reading on this site as there is a good deal of worthwhile information here. Many men begin their journey with great anticipation, myself included, without fully realizing the hidden expectations we also hold. The disappointment results from the unmet expectations. When you truly let go of the expectations then you will have no reasons to be disappointed and can begin the adventurous journey with a fresh approach.

    I get the impression from your initial post you have experienced most of your anal stimulation in conjunction with foreplay associated with conventional intercourse. This is a wonderful form of macro stimulation to share with your wife but to get the most from Aneros use requires shifting into a different mental mode. If you have found in the past that your wife's active participation and your own use of vibrators, etc. produced pleasurable prostate sensations then I suspect you physically have all the tools necessary for your massager to function as intended.

    Aneros use is about tuning into much more subtle physical sensations and allowing those sensations to grow and amplify to orgasmic levels. This is a paradigm shift in thinking and attitude. Until you are able to accomplish this shift, intentionally or unintentionally, mastering all the techniques proposed on these Forum pages may have little effect. Part of the paradigm shift involves moving focus away from penile stimulation and the ejaculatory response. As long as you are holding onto those models of stimulus/response progress with Aneros will be difficult. In the initial stages of learning to awaken your Aneros response it is important to understand these are micro sensations you are attuning with, not the vigorous action of traditional masturbatory activity.

    I think when you begin to nurture those very small, subtle sensations you may find there is a spark which can lead to much more intensity.
  • slimjm
    Posts: 497
    Hey, Chris. Hope I can give some moral support here. You're a blessed guy to have a wife willing to touch and give pleasure to you in the intimate ways you describe. My wife's far more conventional with sex and foreplay and totally uncomfortable with that level of intimacy with me, so I have to let the Aneros provide that. But rumel is correct. Experiencing orgasmic pleasure with G-spot stimulation alone, with probably the best gateway for getting there being the Aneros, involves a totally different approach from how us guys are generally wired for penile sex.

    If you'll find any consistent theme through this experience, it is that it's time consuming (though a real adventure through that sometimes lengthy process) and sometimes after that still elusive to experience the dry prostate orgasms produced by G-spot stimulation alone. But the sustained intensity and repeatability of these orgasms and the super orgasmic state of relaxation and pleasure you can experience with them is well worth any time and effort you give it.

    My journey was about a year and like you I started with the Helix and tried all kinds of approaches with it. But I found the best for me was the relax and "do nothing" approach, lying completely still with it in and about 10 minutes into the process breathing slowly and deeply and then doing very light PC muscle contractions, the kind with which you're familiar that you use to gently cut off midstream urine flow, all the while "listening" to my anal muscles to see if fluttering, wormy feeling contractions of my sphincter would begin, and when they did, to see how adjusting the PC contractions and breathing and adding nipple tickling could sustain and amplify them. It took about 3 months for me to develop this skill and then several months beyond that before involuntary rectal contractions and finally orgasmic sensations successfully began to come. Even now, though I've had several super-O's over the last few months, they don't come consistently and I'm working on techniques and approaches in my sessions to find what facilitates them coming more readily.

    I hope this gives you a helpful overview of what's likely ahead for you, though as with some guys it may not take that long. Whatever's involved for you, it will be fun and it will expand your sexual experience and awareness and your body's sexual sensitivity. It certainly has done so for me.
  • CyrulCyrul
    Posts: 21
    Hi Chris,

    I experienced the very same thing when I first began using the Aneros a few years back. It's difficult not to have wild expectations when beginning the journey, due to all the posts I read describing remarkable results. I was constantly searching for the perfect 'formula' for a successful session, and have found that it simply does not exist. There are many things one can do to encourage results (Aneros wiki is a great resource) but I've found that it depends most on my mental state/arousal.

    The members here are great and share a wealth of valuable advice and experiences; in the end, I've found it is different for everyone. The advice I found most helpful relates to the relaxation/breathing techniques. Deep 'belly-breathing' seems to work for me at the beginning of the session. At that point I am not contracting at all, and have found that the device moves on it's own (mostly during the inhale). From there just try to let go and let the Aneros do what it wants.

    To be honest, after years of practicing a few times per week, I have only hit two Super-O's (or what I have defined for myself to be a Super-O).

    The goal(s) of a session have also changed dramatically since I began:

    Old Goal: Have a wild and uncontrollable Super Orgasm as quickly as possible
    New Goal: Pay attention to the whole spectrum of sensations and take away something positive from each experience

    Just try to relax and enjoy the ride... I believe that with patience and practice everyone will get something great out of it.

    Good luck in your journey and don't give up!

    -Cyrul
  • Tremelo
    Posts: 141
    I used to do the belly breathing described above, until the pleasurable sensations would force me to relax and surrender to them.

    Similarly, try a round of deliberate contractions to get your muscles loosened up, then relax and see what they do.

    I read a trick here in my earliest days that made a HUGE difference. I wish I remember who suggested it. He told us to learn to press and hold steady (at about 75% pressure) against the prostrate, while feeling other vibrations build up around that central pressure, until eventually, you "must" come (a climatic dry O). With this trick, I learned how to dry O (over and over again) within about ten days.

    Finally, my own trick that's hurtled me into the stratosphere within the last few months has been learning to relax my sphincter very deliberately, to let it relax into a "whiffling" vibration, and then feeling all the consequences of the Aneros being "loose" rather than held tight.

    At this point, I usually start super-coming within 2-5 minutes, and then ever deeper and more intimately for another 20-40 minutes until I just can't take it anymore. So my advice would be to work on loosening up that asshole! Sometimes I still get very tight, but whenever I reach any impasse, I just zoom in on forcing my sphincter to relax, and it all descends back into madness again for me very quickly.

    And also to that point above: learn to experience the profound subtlety of it. My orgasmic states tend now to alternate between the wild careening ecstasies and the subtlest euphoric blisses.
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,672
    Hello Aneros_user41500, :)

    Tremelo has a good point when he says:

    And also to that point above: learn to experience the profound subtlety of it.

    This is something I wish I had understood earlier on. These sensations are much more subtle to start with than any of the traditional penile centered sensation we are so used to as men. So learning to relax, breathe, focus on, and experience the subtle sensations is some darned good advice.

    Love_is
  • Tremelo
    Posts: 141
    And just to add to that, by all means do some deliberate contractions and/or belly breathing first, then relax and "pull away" to see what activity comes when you stop "trying." That's a great initial condition in which to start exploring the subtleties.
  • Well I see you got all necessary info...image :)
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    [QUOTE=aneros_user41500;90807]Hi everyone.
    but again I was left disappointed.....

    I am still trying, almost 2 years later.

    I intended the above as encouragement, but now, it probably seems upsetting.
  • Hi all,

    I want to thank you all for the great advice and support. As mentioned before, I will continue my journey until I am successful!

    Never quit, never give up, and keep learning!
    Chris.