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Multiple orgasms? Dry Orgasm? Or just holding back?
  • Korkelz
    Posts: 294
    This is somewhat off topic; this has to do with non-aneros sex. I'd like to hear your take on my experience. Did I have a dry and/or multiple orgasm or was I just edging?

    Introduction:

    I've been using the Aneros for a few months now and have been trying to keep away from having an orgasm and losing that sexual tension that the Aneros benefits from. I've also been trying to "edge" (get close to orgasm) now and then as well. I've also been separating ejaculation and involuntary contractions/orgasm during sex.

    For the first time since my wife and I have been married I didn't have a traditional orgasm during sex. GOOD! Based on what I've heard, it seems that there's a chemical released during a traditional orgasm that causes the refactory period basically limiting men to have one lame orgasm, become too sensitive or not sensitive to stimulation, and unable to enjoy any kind of sexual pleasure. BAD! (God knows why we have this limitation.) So I've been thinking that I should learn to enjoy an orgasm without allowing that chemical to be released.

    Dry Orgasm or just edging?:

    I got close to orgasm and stopped stimulation and started to involuntarily contract similar to a traditional orgasm, except the contractions were spaced apart and nothing seemed to come out, and I felt that if I even moved an inch, I would explode.

    Multiple Orgasm or just edging?:

    During the same session of sex, I got to the edge, and without contracting (I *might* have contracted once or twice), I slowly drooled semen. This happened x2

    What have I achieved? All of this felt good, but not as good as a traditional orgasm. At least it seems that I'm getting better at separating two things here. There may be room for intensifying these... mini-orgasms?
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    Korkelz,

    There are actually two hormones thought to play a role in the loss of arousal after an ejaculation (refractory period), oxytocin and prolactin. Oxytocin is actually necessary for sexual arousal in the first place. But the surging levels of the substance during ejaculation creates an overabundance which inevitably inhibits arousal as well. Prolactin on the other hand, represses dopamine, a neurotransmitter also essential for arousal.

    On your question, it's hard to tell, but it sounds a lot like edging to me. The question I have is, have you been losing your erections immediately following these involuntary contractions that you describe? If so, it would confirm that these were more or less nearly aborted ejaculations. That said, Mantak Chia (and others) have promoted a technique which involves ejaculatory brinkmanship like this to achieve a non-ejaculatory orgasm. I will tell you that I never had any success with it. Ironically, once I crossed-over (by other means), I had no problem achieving a Super O by this method. If you're really committed to this approach, you might want to get yourself a copy of the Multiorgasmic Man.

    Again, I prefer a hands-free technique, one that does not involve ones penis. A method that involves tuning into a new and different arousal pathway vs. a sensory bait and switch. I think of it as a more organic approach and one that is truer to ones body. As opposed to tricking oneself into this response one approaches it on its own terms and walks through the door. This is the essence of what I've been writing about since my earliest days in the forum.

    BF Mayfield
  • Pan
    Posts: 249
    Hey Korkelz,

    I think what you experienced were mini/semi-dry orgasms brought on through edging. Regardless of what type of orgasm, to me it's only a full orgasm if I experience a sense of full orgasmic release, including a feeling of total loss of control. To me, a dry orgasm generally includes the feeling of being completely out of control in midst of orgasmic pleasure and (just like an ejaculatory orgasm) without any loss of fluid, sexual desire, or arousal. And of course, it should be fairly easy to repeat within a short period of time.

    From your description, I'd say you're approaching that separation between orgasm and ejaculation in a way that is consistent with edging practices. The edging method that worked best for me (The Maxwell Multiple Climax Technique) suggests that as you approach your Point of No Return, you can use a brief series of rapid PC contractions which mimic the ejaculation reflex to sort of "jump-start" the natural, spontaneous orgasmic contractions normally associated with ejaculation, but without actually ejaculating. Eventually, this can train your body to spontaneously react to your approaching the Point of No Return with these spontaneous dry orgasmic contractions which give you a full sense of orgasm while releasing the urge to ejaculate until your next, subsequent build up.

    From your description, it sounds like you've already achieved a strong sense of control around your PONR, what I would suggest is to actually try employing a brief series of rapid contractions when you are still a little further away from actual ejaculation. Start when you're certain the contractions won't send you over the edge and allow yourself to play with the timing from there - employing that short burst of contractions a little closer to your PONR each time, but still able to enjoy the spontaneous orgasmic contractions resulting in a feeling of full orgasmic release without ejaculation or loss of arousal.

    An additional training method would be to use edging during your Aneros sessions. It can be an incredibly pleasurable experience and potentially assist you in making that separation between orgasm and ejaculation at a deeper level. Although I wouldn't recommend trying this until you've already been enjoying Super-O's using the Aneros for a significant amount of time.

    For a deeper and more satisfying multi-orgasmic experience that completely bypasses the PONR for as long as you want, I highly recommend you look into KSMO (Key Sound Multiple Orgasm technique) over at multiples.com. It generally takes a little more time to master than edging, but in my opinion, the orgasms far surpass anything I've experienced through edging techniques.

    Hope this helps,

    Pan

    *Just realized B Mayfield and I were posting at the same time. I thought it would be worth mentioning that I also was not able to find success with edging methods until I first became multi-orgasmic through KSMO practice, followed by Aneros practice. Although KSMO is not technically a hands-free method, it's certainly a completely different approach to multiple orgasms than the traditional edging methods and not the "sensory bait and switch" which B Mayfield is so aptly describing.

    Although our preferred non-Aneros routes to multiples orgasms may differ slightly, I think we can both agree that edging techniques, while potentially effective and quite enjoyable, are generally far less pleasurable than what either the Aneros or KSMO practices ultimately have to offer.
  • Korkelz
    Posts: 294
    Indeed indeed, very valuable responses, thanks Pan and B Mayfield.
  • artformartform
    Posts: 1,473
    HI Korkelz and wife!! :D :D

    I agree with the sound advice of both BF Mayfield and Pan on the analysis of what you were experiencing and the merits of edging compared to other available techniques. If you are quite active with your wife as you are developing your Aneros practice, and if you take up a KSMO practice in parallel too, your observant and questioning nature can serve you both in good stead as you share your orgasmic learning/active-possibilities as you seem to be now.

    For 18 months in the first couple of years of the 1990s, I took up and practiced Mantak Chia's semen retention sexual kung fu techniques using an earlier book of his for male practice: Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy. I learned to retain semen inside during an ejaculatory orgasm and achieved a number of levels of orgasm using this technique, the most notable being Crown Centred Orgasm in the head and upward. In addition, this technique enabled my first flowing Microcosmic Orbits of the sexual energies throughout my body. However, although I continued use the technique having sex with my wife from time to time for a few years after the initial successes, I was unhappy with several aspects and effects of essentially ejaculating backwards up into my body, usually the bladder.

    Now into my 4th year of Aneros/KSMO with my practice focused on the mutual prostates practice with my wife, where she, paradoxically, learned her full G-spot potential and first and then repeatedly has enjoyed the deeply satisfying ejaculatory female orgasms of the Flowing Waters of the Goddess, we have progressed best with me sharing the energies abilities that you are moving toward, that accompany true aptitude with the separated orgasmic ability for males that Aneros and KSMO can enable. You might see this even more looking at dtmsmith's thread here: KSMO questions. As you get to that stage, without following his techniques unless they add any value to your practice, Chia's book: The MultiOrgasmic Couple can be a useful guide to the joint energies dimensions of what your Aneros/KSMO practice can develop in you both, better than his techniques alone.

    all the best couples coupling in ecstatic energetic unions of the highest orders all

    artform
  • Korkelz
    Posts: 294
    I must update you on what happened last night, it seems like a step in the right direction because it was the best sex we've had yet! During sex I edged twice staving off two orgasms, last one being intense enough and with a few contractions that I was afraid that I was going soft. The last edge lasted maybe 7 seconds. I had to relax and not move an inch. After that, I suddenly felt like I could last indefinitely long if I continued to relax all muscles. For the first time I wore my wife out and first time I felt like a man should; undefeated by her crafty flower, but totally conquered it like a man should, and could keep going until its total submission. Wow, my wife's sexual organ was my enemy without my knowing...

    My wife didn't have an orgasm, but said that the feelings were getting too much for her, like she was running out of energy to handle the stimulaiton. She felt totally satisfied for the first time in a long while. I also didn't have a traditional orgasm. So instead of becoming limp and tired I stayed hard (which my wife really liked) and aroused after sex, a very awesome feeling. This is what sex should be like! I even felt aroused this morning more than usual. But, keep in mind that the sexual stimulation I experienced after that 2nd edge was mild, and it had to be, or else I would have had an orgasm.

    I would like to improve upon this by being able to give my wife multiple orgasms and have multiple orgasms myself or at least last longer with more intense feelings of stimulation. I think the next step it to get into KSMO.