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Dud sessions was one thing, but farting lube and being gaped takes this biscuit
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    Hi,

    I'm one of the most unsuccessful members on this board. I have not had a Pwave or Mini O or anything. At most, I've had the sensation that I possibly have a prostate somewhere in there. A little sensation radiating from that area for a few seconds.

    Yesterday, I wiped after my session and showered. When I wiped, I noticed a "chunk" of undesirable matter, that must have been brought out by the Aneros or by having been left gaped by the dud sesssion. I am OCD, so I wipe with military precision. Even so, I have managed to fart lube into my boxers today. It's not that noticeable, but again, I noticed it coz I have OCD and regularly ensure my underwear is clean.

    Anyone have this problem of post-Aneros problems?

    I know, you are going to suggest I enema before? I live at home with a babying mum. The bathroom isn't really private coz it has a toilet, bath, shower, and sink in it. -- I just had a thought. Part of my pre-session clean-up is: as well as wiping carefully after a BM. I use wet cotton wool (in flat sheets) to wipe the area clean(er). I do the cotton wool thing over my dustbin (trashcan) in my room coz we can't flush cotton wool down the toilet coz it blocks it.

    Will I have to resort to doing an emema over my bin too? Is it noticeable and messy? My bin has a binbag in it at all times.

    It would be worth it if I were having pleasure, but I'm just losing sleep, patience, mum's trust (via suspicion), money, time....:(:(:(:(

    Worst thing is, yesterday, I dick stroke my dick a little, but backed off and fell asleep only to have a wet dream, so I have to build back up horniness, so I won't be sessioning for a while now. Maybe that's a good thing.
  • It's possible that you're using too much lube. What kind do you use? It's also possible that your OCD is making success more difficult for you through anxiety and concerns about "controlling" the experience. I'm sorry to hear of your frustrations, and I wish you better luck in the future.
  • HelixerHelixer
    Posts: 566
    I vaguely remember you writing somewhere that you shit every other day, so I guess you can't be using the Aneros that often......
    Choise is yours!

    Wanna shit like a pro?

    Aneros works better than laxatives!!!

    Practise makes perfect

    Farting is sooo 90's, use Aneros regularly and shit like a pro!!!
  • waverider
    Posts: 49
    As Helixer so aptly pointed out....farting is soooo 90's. Listen, you need to take a shit every day and be regular. Aneros aside, you will live a much more centered and relaxed life if you can depend on a nice regular crap every morning after enjoying your favorite brew of coffee. My suspicion is that you have to sort out the OCD before anything is going to happen with the aneros. Another suggestion if you are open to it.... try smoking some weed before a session. For me that is basically a guarantee that I will have orgasms for a couple of hours. I know Helixer has discovered the same thing, and frankly I'm a little jealous of the weed that he has access to being in the Netherlands, but that is another story altogether. Seriously though.... don't go nuts with the lube. All you need is a little bit of shea butter on the aneros, and that will solve all of your leakage issues. You do not need to inject lube up your but to have Super O's... I've been there, tried it, and not only did I find it a messy hassle, but no super O's to boot! Good luck!
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,672
    Just a quick thought MyTurn...
    You do sit on the toilet after the Aneros session to squeeze out any injected pre-lube right? I have to do this even with the shea butter chunks I insert in my rectum prior to Aneros insertion. Otherwise much like your own experience I'd later be squeezing it out in my under shorts. Not fun!

    Love_is
  • Billy11
    Posts: 280
    You really should be shitting at least once a day. What kind of diet are you on? Like how many times a day do you eat? What kinds of food? Eating healthy will help with this problem.
  • MyTurn, I suggest that you try switching to a lube that does not have glycerin in it.
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    [QUOTE=La petite mort;86790]It's possible that you're using too much lube. What kind do you use? It's also possible that your OCD is making success more difficult for you through anxiety and concerns about "controlling" the experience. I'm sorry to hear of your frustrations, and I wish you better luck in the future.

    I use KY Gel or KY Jelly. I ensure I am comfortable from an OCD standpoint before engaging in any session, so it's off my mind in that sense. Maybe I am still looking for success, but I regard success as anything other than laying down bored. A tingle is success to me. Thanks.
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    [QUOTE=Helixer;86792]

    Farting is sooo 90's, use Aneros regularly and shit like a pro!!!

    For me it's the reverse, if I shit like a pro, I'd use the Aneros regularly!
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    [QUOTE=waverider;86793]As Helixer so aptly pointed out....farting is soooo 90's. Listen, you need to take a shit every day and be regular. Aneros aside, you will live a much more centered and relaxed life if you can depend on a nice regular crap every morning after enjoying your favorite brew of coffee. My suspicion is that you have to sort out the OCD before anything is going to happen with the aneros. Another suggestion if you are open to it.... try smoking some weed before a session. For me that is basically a guarantee that I will have orgasms for a couple of hours. I know Helixer has discovered the same thing, and frankly I'm a little jealous of the weed that he has access to being in the Netherlands, but that is another story altogether. Seriously though.... don't go nuts with the lube. All you need is a little bit of shea butter on the aneros, and that will solve all of your leakage issues. You do not need to inject lube up your but to have Super O's... I've been there, tried it, and not only did I find it a messy hassle, but no super O's to boot! Good luck!

    Smoking weed isn't an option for me. Besides the jail time and the looking for a drug seller, I have/had people in my life who have been hooked on it and that's all they did: smoked weed. But thanks for the tip. There has to be another way other than illegal drugs and risking jail (where I'm from).

    My life is very different to yours. Morning coffee? WTF. I get home 7pm. Do music, eat dinner, etc. (every 2 days, about 10.30pm, may have a BM). 11.00: get stuff ready for work. 11.30pm: Twist and Turn in bed. 12/12.30/1: Fall asleep. 7.15am: wake up and do it all again. I don't have time for a morning crap, plus the bathroom is the HUBBUB (or HUB) of the morning as it has the shower and sink in it, so it's not the ideal time to be taking a peaceful shit. I have my morning coffee at work! They get 12 hours of my day (including travelling, dressing). I get 4 hours to myself a day. THe coffee can come out of their time.
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    [QUOTE=Billy11;86807]You really should be shitting at least once a day. What kind of diet are you on? Like how many times a day do you eat? What kinds of food? Eating healthy will help with this problem.

    Oh, now you're going to lay into me.
    Breakfast (on the go, at work): cornish pasty.
    Lunch: (lately): super noodles.
    Dinner: could be minced meat, steak, chicken, with veg, or salad, or it could be crappy oven food. Depends on the time there is. And there isn't much.

    I may snack on apples or something in the day but that still isn't going to spur on a BM.
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    [QUOTE=cosmicmuffin;86824]MyTurn, I suggest that you try switching to a lube that does not have glycerin in it.

    Will try that for my next session.

    I worry that, any lube left in my rectum - or the lubing the rectum gets from the Aneros - brings down any waste near to the anus opening? Is that unfounded? How do you know?
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    [QUOTE=Love_is;86794]Just a quick thought MyTurn...
    You do sit on the toilet after the Aneros session to squeeze out any injected pre-lube right? I have to do this even with the shea butter chunks I insert in my rectum prior to Aneros insertion. Otherwise much like your own experience I'd later be squeezing it out in my under shorts. Not fun!

    Love_is

    Hi. I don't inject lube. I just lube the Aneros.
  • HelixerHelixer
    Posts: 566
    :confused:[QUOTE=MyTurn;86826]For me it's the reverse, if I shit like a pro, I'd use the Aneros regularly!

    What like plug&play?
    (worried)
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    [QUOTE=Helixer;86833]:confused:

    What like plug&play?
    (worried)

    Has this guy's account been hacked or something? I'm asking for help, man. :(
    I think you've been on some of that Holland-grown stuff.
  • waverider
    Posts: 49
    Listen... you sound very bunged up, and I think a number of people here, myself included, think that your lack of a regular and relaxing crapping routine is making you a stressed out dude. If you can't crap in the morning at home, then make time at work. I used to work at a place where I found a nice private bathroom that nobody else really knew about. Once I found that, I swear my quality of life shot up...delightful.
  • Billy11
    Posts: 280
    [QUOTE=MyTurn;86828]Oh, now you're going to lay into me.
    Breakfast (on the go, at work): cornish pasty.
    Lunch: (lately): super noodles.
    Dinner: could be minced meat, steak, chicken, with veg, or salad, or it could be crappy oven food. Depends on the time there is. And there isn't much.

    I may snack on apples or something in the day but that still isn't going to spur on a BM.

    I'm just saying diet is what regulates your BM's. I have a buddy who only shits once a week. I don't know how he does it. I do know that he eats nearly 100% of his meals at fast food restaurants.
    I myself eat 7 times a day. 3 main meals and 4 snack meals. I'm into strength training so this is sort of a must though eating many times a day will benefit anyone (as long as they're eating healthy and the correct amount of calories etc.) At first it was the biggest pain in the ass to plan and eat that many meals a day without cheating and eating out. That and it seemed so damn time consuming. But now after awhile it's gotten much easier.
    What's cornish pasty and super noodles?
    Dinner seems fine though try to stick to chicken or turkey and if you like fish the even better.
  • Pan
    Posts: 249
    Prune juice.
    Nuff said.
  • HelixerHelixer
    Posts: 566
    [QUOTE=MyTurn;86835]Has this guy's account been hacked or something? I'm asking for help, man. :(
    I think you've been on some of that Holland-grown stuff.

    hehe, you're full of shit!

    You spend more time on this forum than I do, some of that time could be devoted in the wc. You might never become a pro, but if you don't eat the right foods you definitely won't have what it takes.

    Flaxseeds with muesli, fish with rice and plenty of vegetables,etc you need plenty ruffage!

    BTW: just for the record, I rarely use hasj. And I certainly wouldn't advocate regular use. The harmful effects have been seriously underestimated and especially if you're life isn't in order it can damage you psychologically, but....I don't see any harm in using it once or twice every 2 months if you've tried in vain(as I had) to get the full Aneros experience.
    Still, I'm not on any medication so I can't say if cannabis and farma-pills mix
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    [QUOTE=Billy11;86845]I'm just saying diet is what regulates your BM's. I have a buddy who only shits once a week. I don't know how he does it. I do know that he eats nearly 100% of his meals at fast food restaurants.
    I myself eat 7 times a day. 3 main meals and 4 snack meals. I'm into strength training so this is sort of a must though eating many times a day will benefit anyone (as long as they're eating healthy and the correct amount of calories etc.) At first it was the biggest pain in the ass to plan and eat that many meals a day without cheating and eating out. That and it seemed so damn time consuming. But now after awhile it's gotten much easier.
    What's cornish pasty and super noodles?
    Dinner seems fine though try to stick to chicken or turkey and if you like fish the even better.

    cornish pasty is: Pasty - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    super noodles: Super Noodles - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Super noodles for lunch is cheap for me: 59p a day, about $0.80c? And would be what I'd have to eat were I to move out into my own place for sure.

    Before I was into "economizing", I used to go out and buy a sandwich daily, but at £3-4 a pop ($5-6?) where I work, it's beyond stupid.

    Shitting once a week? Oh man. He must be the size of a house. And you, how to do you squeeze in so many meals? You must have a job where the boss isn't constantly on your back, or you don't have to walk past him to prepare the meal. What type of meals are you eating each day BTW?

    I try not to eat fast food much, although one guy at my place eats McDonalds daily and shits daily too - I know coz he is gone from his desk for ages.
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    [QUOTE=Pan;86847]Prune juice.
    Nuff said.

    Thanks. Yucky, but I will try it [again].
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    [QUOTE=Helixer;86849]hehe, you're full of shit!

    You spend more time on this forum than I do, some of that time could be devoted in the wc. You might never become a pro, but if you don't eat the right foods you definitely won't have what it takes.

    Flaxseeds with muesli, fish with rice and plenty of vegetables,etc you need plenty ruffage!

    BTW: just for the record, I rarely use hasj. And I certainly wouldn't advocate regular use. The harmful effects have been seriously underestimated and especially if you're life isn't in order it can damage you psychologically, but....I don't see any harm in using it once or twice every 2 months if you've tried in vain(as I had) to get the full Aneros experience.
    Still, I'm not on any medication so I can't say if cannabis and farma-pills mix

    Wow. I guess I am here more than you, but that's mainly coz I need more help than you. I suspect that unless you are a veteran-helper here, most of the Super-O people (or at least, those that have strong pleasure with Aneros) do not need to be here much.

    As I said, I am not doing jail time for trying to buy drugs for a good Aneros session, but, the flaxseed oil, even my mum has tried that (fair to middling success) so I wil try that myself. I did buy psyllium husk tablets, but they did nothing.

    Do you advise frozen vegetables? I don't know about your living/working situation, but it is not always easy to spend hours shopping daily and cooking fresh food. Not when the evening only last 3-4 hours and some of that time you want to do hobbies, relax, unwind, etc.
  • HelixerHelixer
    Posts: 566
    I'm not condemning the time you're on the site looking for answers, but you seemed to be insinuating that you didn't have enough time and that was your excuse for not spending quality time on the WC as you seem to be doing again with healthy eating.
    Maybe I'm presumptious as I don't know where you're from, maybe there it's unaccessable and expensive.
    Here, shopping takes me about half an hour I don't buy frozen vegetables coz I can get what I need for <€3. But still, frozen is better than no vegetables<br />
    Again, you need ruffage! wholemeal stuff, muesli etc. And it's not the oil but the actual seeds!!

    But yeah I'm fortunate, I don't have to work(money for nothing and my Anerossex for free) and I can devote my life solely to selfdevelopment, I live alone in a great neighbourhood with a nice view I spend my days reading(E-reader), making music and fitness, downloading everything for free, but still......

    Even if I did work, I'd still have time to cook a decent meal and take a shit at least once a day.

    Again I don't know where you live, but there are other places where cannabisusage isn't against the law. I recall California you can get it with a doctor's prescription and there very easygoing and prescribing for minor depressions even. So if you're from the US why not save a for a holiday get some shit in California book yourself a hotel for a few days to try out the Aneros. If you live in Europe then Holland's the best place, just book yourself a holiday in a hotel and don't invite your mum to come with you!!!!
  • Billy11
    Posts: 280
    [QUOTE=MyTurn;86865]cornish pasty is: Pasty - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    super noodles: Super Noodles - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Super noodles for lunch is cheap for me: 59p a day, about $0.80c? And would be what I'd have to eat were I to move out into my own place for sure.

    Before I was into "economizing", I used to go out and buy a sandwich daily, but at £3-4 a pop ($5-6?) where I work, it's beyond stupid.

    Shitting once a week? Oh man. He must be the size of a house. And you, how to do you squeeze in so many meals? You must have a job where the boss isn't constantly on your back, or you don't have to walk past him to prepare the meal. What type of meals are you eating each day BTW?

    I try not to eat fast food much, although one guy at my place eats McDonalds daily and shits daily too - I know coz he is gone from his desk for ages.

    Lol actually he is tall and skinny even though he only shits once a week.
    Are the super noodles the only thing you eat for lunch? or are you adding a vegi to it and some protein source? You really should be aiming to have some carbs, protein, and healthy fat with each meal. You just got to plan out your meals and snack meals. You get breaks during your work day so those times are real easy to throw in you snack meals. You may need to switch your schedule up so that you have enough time to wake up in the morning and make breakfast and prepare your lunch in advance.

    I have to admit my working conditions are pretty prime. I drive a cab and am my own boss. I work when I want and take as many breaks as I want. Though there's a big window of time when I make the most money and I have to bust my ass during it if I want to make decent money. Because of this I plan and prepare my meals in advance. Here's an average day for me.

    wake at 1pm-

    1:30pm- breakfast- 3 eggs, 3 egg whites, 1/2 tablespoon half fat healthy butter, spinach, mushroom, green and yellow squash, red chile pepper (all vegis mixed with scrambled eggs) 8oz milk, 1/2 cup oatmeal.
    Seems like a lot but this meal is super fast to prepare and eat. As in I wake at 1pm and am done eating by 1:30 pm.

    3:30pm- snack- fruit either an apple, orange, banana or berries. some lowfat yogurt, nuts like almonds

    4pm got to gym and work out hard for an hour.

    5:15- protein shake with just water, and banana right after working out.

    6pm-6:30 lunch- here I switch up everyday. This is my big post workout meal. Here's a few meals I choose from. I use olive oil in most for some healthy fat.
    -fish and shrimp with sweet potato or brown rice and grilled or broiled vegis that include yellow and green squash, red onion, egg plant, and mushrooms.
    -fish and shrimp or chicken tacos with brown rice and black beans, with lettuce, onion, tomatoes, jalapenos, avocado,and little bit cheese.
    -chicken or steak gyros (in wheat pita bread with lettuce, onion, tomatoes, tzatziki (lowfat yogurt dressing) and little bit of feta cheese.
    -Spaghetti made with whole what noodles, marinara sauce with 5% fat ground beef and a ridiculous amount of vegis and ingredients that go into the sauce. (I make a big batch of sauce enough for 4 meals)
    -stir fry using chicken or fish and shrimp lots of veg's and brown rice
    -falafel gyro with hummus (using same ingredients as the chicken and steak gyros)
    I have many other meals I choose from for this meal as well.

    7pm I stroll into my cab so I can pay the rent and bills

    9:30- snack- string cheese, apple, piece of whole wheat bread (again I have many choices for snacks) or
    -hummus and wholewheat pita and apple or a vegi

    12:30-1am- Dinner- This is the most compromised meal of the day. It's during my busiest time of the night for driving cab. So this meal is always prepared before hand and something I can eat while driving to my next fare.
    -Chicken breast sandwhich with whole wheat bread, lettuce, onion, peppers, tomatoes, avocado, swiss cheese, little bit half fat healthy mayo, BBQ sauce or mustard.
    - Brown rice, broccoli and carrots (already steamed), Chicken breast
    -Tuna fish sandwhich's

    3:30am- snack- one slice bread, natural peanut butter, glass milk.

    4:30am- 1/2 cup 1% cottage cheese

    5am bed

    This is a sample but snacks can vary. I just try to get a fruit or vegi good carb, and complete protein in it. It's very small like 150 to 300 calories. I'll eat salads for a snack meal as well.

    This may seem like a huge pain in the ass to eat like this but really it's not. Snacks are quick and easy which account for 4 of the meals and take next to no time to prepare. Breakfast is super fast to prepare. Lunch is the most time consuming though I prepare my dinner as well during this time knocking out both of them at once. But I enjoy cooking so it's no problem plus I like being able to be in control of the exact ingredients I'm putting into my body.

    I make my own hummus and tzatziki which both are very quick and easy to make.

    The spaghetti sauce takes about an hour and half to make (most of that time though is it simmering so prep time is maybe only 30 minutes) but it makes 4 meals worth so couple nights later for lunch all I got to do is boil some noodles and warm the sauce up.

    All in all I really don't spend that much time cooking. It's all about planning and preparing. It takes sometime to put together meals and learn to cook and prepare them but after awhile it becomes easy. Most food like chicken, eggs, fish and shrimp, and milk etc. are pretty cheap to buy and I buy most of this in bulk since I go through so much so it's even cheaper. Vegi's and fruit I buy nearly every other day. I normally just stop into the super market before I come home from work. Takes only a few minutes to grab the few things I need. I shop several times a week but since I already know exactly what I'm getting I can get in and out of the supermarket pretty fast.
    Plus eating like this saves a ton of money because I'm not spending $5-$10 a meal eating out.

    Oh ya, and a crap ton of water through out the day as well. A gallon+
  • Pan
    Posts: 249
    Wow, excellent diet Billy11! Mine is somewhat similar, but not nearly as colorful!
    MyTurn, I think I've mentioned this to you before - a quick fix, but still relatively safe way to loosen up your stool and increase bowel movements would be to use magnesium supplements. 400-800mg per day of magnesium citrate will almost certainly help keep your bowels moving while you sort out a healthier diet. Plus it's cheap (pennies a day if shop around) and most people on a Western diet are deficient in magnesium anyway.

    Just some food for thought. :)
  • VoyagerVoyager
    Posts: 200
    The next time I am in a taxi and the driver is eating nuts with a smile on his face I will think of Billy11.
    It might make a good film plot.
    The Casablanca Cab.
    Of all the cabs, in all the towns, in all the world you had to hire mine!