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Introduction. (Warning: Long-winded and probably poor prose)
  • Anon17564
    Posts: 57
    Please ignore the Anon17564 thing, I'm not really quite ready to use my regular online persona for this purpose.

    ---

    I am 19, and I come from the London area of the UK. In particular, an area where you're mainly expected to grow up and become a car thief, or something. Being socially awkward as I am, I never really fit into that expectation and ended up going to University to study mathematics instead. (What a disappointment, huh?).

    Being in this materialistic, anti-intellectual society, I've rebelled and become a philosophical adventurer. For a couple of years, I have been intensely interested in the subject of Lucidity and Cartesian philosophy - at the moment, I've come to believe that, considering there's no real evidence I can trust that this world is real, let alone that there is a God to govern it, surely the only course of action is to stretch the boundaries and explore as much of what is available to me has to offer. Lucidity and dreaming, for example, transcends the mundane and rather depressing nature of my local reality and gives me a world where I am totally in control. The feeling of lucidity is the most amazing thing I have experienced in my life so far. (Naturally, I struggle to replicate it. I'm yet to get into the habit of reality checking).

    I'm straight, or at least I believe I am. I've felt some level of sexual attraction for a male at one point, once, in my life, but it went away quickly enough and it never came back since. I'm certainly attracted to girls though, so that's sorted there.

    I'm still yet to have had a girlfriend due to a kind of sociophobia I've developped by not having anybody in my local area really who's approachable. (The teenagers high on meths seem to scare away any normals in the area). It's a bit awkward, but it's something I'm working through and I'm pretty sure by the time I get back to University I'll be a lot more confident. I've started self-confidence techniques and actually forcing myself to go out and talk to people, which is helping.

    Of course, still being a virgin doesn't mean I haven't explored myself sexually. In fact, the first time I ever fapped, I was curious as to why (please be aware I was younger and more naive as to how this whole thing works) gay people enjoyed anal insertion. So, I tried feeling around down there, found my prostrate pretty quickly, and, well, started fapping from there. Ended up stopping that due to a feeling of guilt, and just fapped the, uh, boring way for a while after, but in the past 6 months or so I've seen enough and grown up enough to try the arse again. I've gotta say, this religious/social conditioning to avoid the arse is a real evil, because even just having a finger down there made it feel so much better. The only downside is the, uh, fecal matter, and that the hand isn't really built to do that, so I end up straining it. (Yeah, that shows the naysayers who claim anal play is sore on the arse; my hand's in far worse shape than my nether regions)

    At the same time, I am still completely straight. But, I can't actually come out and say that, well, I like having my anus stimulated - not even to my close friends (and there's a lot of discussion of porn going on) - because, whether it's a big issue or not, they would get the wrong idea and assume I'm gay. This is the same conditioning I was subject to - "anal sex hurts like hell and the only reason you'd do it is because you're gay."

    ---

    I decided, in the end, after seeing people talk about it on 4chan's /d/ board, that an Aneros is ideal for me. I couldn't see myself, even when I have a girlfriend, really having the confidence to suggest something like pegging, and besides I wanted something a little easier to do than using a hand. In fact, I managed, once, to reach a point where I felt close to orgasm just using a hand without touching the penis, so I felt using some kind of toy would push me that bit over the edge. The Anons were claiming all sorts of outlandish things about this, but it still looked like a really nice sex toy to try.

    And then I read the website. Bloody co-incidence, I managed to stumble on a "sex-toy" that was being touted as a kind of spiritual enlightenment device, which is also of extreme interest to me. It's not just a sex toy at all, from looking at it, but a key to transcendence.

    I have now left all doubt and negativity about the Aneros at the door. I intend on purchasing one as soon as I'm able to either find an outlet in London selling them or find a way to have it delivered without my (admittedly liberal, but still nosy and gossipy) mother discovering it.

    ---

    Apologies for the rambling post, it's probably not very appropriate for an introduction post. It's just, it's so rare to find people to talk to about these things. There's only about 3 people I can talk to about lucidity, for example, who don't immediately either switch off, call me out for bovine effluence, or take the piss out of it. Thank you for reading this far.

    --------

    Future Aneros user and future forum regular,

    Anon17564
  • darwindarwin
    Posts: 1,196
    well, you have come to the right place.

    welcome.

    i encourage you to continue using an anonymous handle here. no reason to use your standard. i think the privacy will give you comfort and confidence to express yourself.

    sounds like you are on the right track in a number of ways: university/math; confidence training; alternative discovery.

    you might be able to arrange to have your post office hold the package for pickup.

    in the meantime, you can practice relaxation, breathing, nipples, etc. develop your whole body as an erogenous zone.

    darwin
  • Diesel2215
    Posts: 105
    Welcome Anon17564... I wish you all the best in your endeavours!!!!
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,672
    Welcome Anon17564! :)

    You are in good company here.
    There are several users here that seem to have a keen understanding of the whole spiritual and transcendence through sexuality and super orgasms. One user that comes to mind is "artform". I suspect you would really like reading this guy's posts. I know I've enjoyed his writings. You can do a forum search by user name to find his posts. He also has a Blog here.

    surely the only course of action is to stretch the boundaries and explore as much of what is available to me has to offer.


    Yes!!! I agree entirely!
    Good for you for figuring that out at such a young age.

    I look forward to reading more of your posts here.

    Love_is
  • Anon17564
    Posts: 57
    With regards to actually buying the thing, I intend to visit the nearest post office in the next week or so with the cover of going to visit relatives. Would like to avoid putting details up here, as insurance.(Common sense dictates putting personal details up on forums like this is a risk)

    Going to see how exactly oyu go about arranging for collection like that. As I said, I'm a very impractical person >_>
  • Anon17564
    Posts: 57
    Double post, but meh.

    I just tried to put in this as an avatar: http://musicalstewdaily.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/pink_floyd_-_dark_side_of_the_moon.jpg

    Yeah, apparently... the forum doesn't automatically resize, and doesn't check for image size if you go via off-site URL. For approximately 30 seconds, any page I posted on had everything shunted 1600 pixels left in place of a giant Pink Floyd wallpaper. Oops.
  • Anon17564
    Posts: 57
    Okay, I believe I'll have my first actual opportunity to start putting things in motion on Monday; I'd imagine it'll take me at least a week after that to pluck up the courage to actually buy the thing, and it will probably be online (seriously, it's like no shop in the South-East sells it, they've all got a similar-looking device called the Nexus) so that'll take another week or so to arrive. If I could find somewhere local to buy it from I could actually own it by Monday.

    I have started having creeping scepticism that this is all a scam. I bought into all the PR about the Ageia PHYSX cards for the PC, and, yeah, worst £100 I ever spent. However, from my earlier experiences of playing around down there, I'm aware there's at least something to the outlandish claims. I am still resolved to doing this.

    EDIT: Okay, setback. This would be so much easier if I lived alone or could have the house to myself for a few days.
  • Anon17564
    Posts: 57
    Okay, I have a fool-proof (I really hope) way to acquire one of these without causing any suspicion. I have a window of opportunity where the house is going to be empty.

    Only problem is, it's not my house. If I can't find a way to get it before I have access to the house on my own, it'll do, but it's not the route I want to take really.
    Other problem is, the window isn't going to be open for about a month :P

    I've mailed the support here about availability in my area. I'm also going to try the local sex shop. There are no aneros models on the website, but it's worth a try (will take me around an hour to do)

    This is getting really rather frustrating. You'd think they'd be selling this damn thing in London, we sell bloody everything else here.
  • Anon17564
    Posts: 57
    One thing in life that I seem to still be failing to learn, is that if you go looking for a complicated solution to a problem you can ignore a simpler, easier option that would work better for you.

    By chance I looked up an online retailer's website and played around with sticking the items I'm planning on acquiring into the basket to see how much it would come to. Turns out with what I'm ordering I qualify for free exact-day delivery. This is great, because I can be sure it'll arrive on the exact day I'm at home by myself.

    I intend to order it such that it will arrive on probably Tuesday, but I will wait to confirm that I have the flat to myself on Tuesday.