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THE F-SPOT
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    Call it anecdotal evidence, but I noticed long ago, that women with a developed sense of humor were generally more in tune with their bodies and commonly more orgasmic than those with stoic personalities. The connection might seem obvious to some and strained to others, but humor is an often subtle mental process that produces profound physical responses and a sense of elation, joy and well-being (sound familiar?). The same is undoubtedly true for men. With no more that as a rationale, I've created this thread as a repository for humorous content. Humor that by some measure salutes our raison d'etre here in this forum. So here it is, an asylum for the Fartiste, the Talking arses, song parodies and what have you. The idea here is fun guys, not vulgarity....(okay...some vulgarity)...but let's keep it fun.


    BF Mayfield


    Here's one to prime the pump.

    Talk about “tooting your own horn!”



    :lol:
  • Linghaman
    Posts: 231
    Ok ...I don't know whether it is fun or just embarassing . . . but I got a true test of my confidence as a man and a lover after our 3rd child was born. My wife was working half time, we had two other kids, I had a busy consulting practice and we were heating a 13 room house in northern new england with wood. After she recovered from the childbirth with our 3rd, she was 36. Recuperation was harder at 36 than it was in her twenties when the others were born. At six weeks post partum we were given the go ahead to have sex by the doc.

    I was mentally and physically raring to go, my wife . . .well at least she was mentally ready. Our first night there I am doing the foreplay to excite her . . . kissing, massaging etc. I get on top of her and enter her very gently and she doesn't protest . . . and I think damn I'm good! Soon I am rythmically fucking her and she still does't compalin ...in fact she is downright relaxed, and I think again ...dam I'm good! After a few more minutes of my self congratulatory thrusts I was jolted back to reality by a loud snarfuling snore. She had fallen asleep in the middle of me fucking her!!!!!

    So what is a guy to do then? Excuse himself and roll off or bring the event to logical conclusion? Being that I am a diligent kind of guy who finishes everything that he starts and also I was horny as hell . . . . apparently she didn't mind. So I did the later. It was true test of will . . . kind of like fucking a corpse. But did I say I was horny? In the end I did the nasty and rolled off.

    The next morning she awoke and asked what happened ...I told her and she laughed and said: why didn't I figure out how to do that years ago? Oh well. Fortunately ...her libido and energy returned soon after. The observation about randy women and sense of humor is true. She has a wry wit and is a real lady except in the bedroom when she is turned on . . . unless she is sleeping while we fuck.
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,257
    B Mayfield,
    I hope this is somewhat what you had in mnd for The F-SPOT. While I am not that familiar with posts prior to my arrival here, I have certainly enjoyed the sense of humor displayed by you and my fellow members, having read almost all the posts from the past two years. Here are a few threads that I thought were particularly funny or creatively inventive with a real wit to them. As I remember more of them, I will add to this list.
    Some post threads that I really enjoyed were Two Brothers by ‘Voyager’, HELP! Need tutelage! HELP! by ‘Man’s Man’ (5th post into thread), My own theory of understanding orgasm. by ‘binaryfellow’ (start at the 8th post down - 'hapticbear').
    I also thought the thread - Is ANEROS an acronym?, showed some of our readership's inventivness.
    Here's a satire of a 'Cialis' commercial, or this pseudo commercial for Mastercard and then there is this real commercial...
  • lynn2694lynn2694
    Posts: 96
    bigguy said:

    Ok ...I don't know whether it is fun or just embarassing . . . but I got a true test of my confidence as a man and a lover after our 3rd child was born. My wife was working half time, we had two other kids, I had a busy consulting practice and we were heating a 13 room house in northern new england with wood. After she recovered from the childbirth with our 3rd, she was 36. Recuperation was harder at 36 than it was in her twenties when the others were born. At six weeks post partum we were given the go ahead to have sex by the doc.

    I was mentally and physically raring to go, my wife . . .well at least she was mentally ready. Our first night there I am doing the foreplay to excite her . . . kissing, massaging etc. I get on top of her and enter her very gently and she doesn't protest . . . and I think damn I'm good! Soon I am rythmically fucking her and she still does't compalin ...in fact she is downright relaxed, and I think again ...dam I'm good! After a few more minutes of my self congratulatory thrusts I was jolted back to reality by a loud snarfuling snore. She had fallen asleep in the middle of me fucking her!!!!!

    So what is a guy to do then? Excuse himself and roll off or bring the event to logical conclusion? Being that I am a diligent kind of guy who finishes everything that he starts and also I was horny as hell . . . . apparently she didn't mind. So I did the later. It was true test of will . . . kind of like fucking a corpse. But did I say I was horny? In the end I did the nasty and rolled off.

    The next morning she awoke and asked what happened ...I told her and she laughed and said: why didn't I figure out how to do that years ago? Oh well. Fortunately ...her libido and energy returned soon after. The observation about randy women and sense of humor is true. She has a wry wit and is a real lady except in the bedroom when she is turned on . . . unless she is sleeping while we fuck.




    I have fallen asleep in many many places and while doing certain tasks. But during sex....I'd have to say I haven't done that.....yet. I know of several men and women this has happened to, your not alone. :wink:

    I'm impressed you told her that you finished. Not only are you lucky you have a very fun and forgiving wife...you Sir are full of bravery as well.
  • lynn2694lynn2694
    Posts: 96
    Ok, I was inspired to leave my embarrassing sex story...the only problem I have is deciding which one to use.

    The first one that came to my mind was during a formal event that I attended with the Major. This was a military ball filled with dignitaries, the higher-ups, their spouses, girlfriends and even a mistress or two. The Major is a very fashionable man. He makes a military dress blues suit look damn good. He picked out a long burgundy gown for me that had an open back and a slit up one leg. It was a beautiful gown and I think he chose it because of the leg that showed when I walked. The Major has a thing for a woman in thigh high stockings and heels. (yeah, he and about 2.6 million other men )
    As I've done before, I spent half the night at his side moving from one end of the room to the other. I spent the other half being sociable alone so the guys could talk about guns and plans within their units. The girls would cluck at their own hen parties off to the side. (Personally, I prefer the men’s conversation to the endless clucking of military wives, being that I'm not one....I'm not high on their social list).
    Every now and then I caught the Majors glance as he watched me from across the room. He was very good at "eye fucking". He motioned me to meet him on the dance floor. I excused myself and joined him. As we danced, he explained that he wanted to have me right now, but he couldn't leave yet. He led me to the open bar and ordered me a drink and he said he'd be back in a moment. He soon returned, took my hand and we quickly walked out of the room. My Major searched out a quite room to have his much needed fantasy. We walked down the hall and around the corner where we came to a set of double doors. He barely opened the door to a dark conference room and we slipped inside. Once we were in, he closed the door behind us and instantly put me up against the wall with a mind blowing kiss. He went to his knee and ran his hand from my calf to my thigh through that slit in my gown. He opened his pants and slid his hands under my ass and lifted me against the wall as he kissed me again. He began to push inside me with a soft moan and...the lights clicked on.

    The Robert’s (**name changed to protect identity), as the banner above the table read, were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and their children prepared a slide show. Everyone was quietly watching the slides on one end of the conference room. Jim had only peeked his head in the room and saw it was dark and quiet. Things had moved so fast due to our time constraints that we didn't notice the 150 people at the other end of this big room. We quickly and very quietly with red faces ran out of the room and began laughing as we made our way back to our ballroom. Within an hour there were talk of those teenagers and what they did. Thank God there was also a high school prom in the large hotel that weekend and we were able to get away with that one. I was mortified!!! We ended up getting a room that night; the drive home would've been unbearable.

    Well, I hope you all enjoyed my humorous moment.

    Enjoy!
  • artformartform
    Posts: 1,488
    Well BF!

    Great idea. Humour is the key many happinesses; especially ones where other reactions can negatively inhibit or overwhelm the positive potentials. And here, sometimes one (or more) just can't help sending up the unique adventures we get into, can we! :lol:

    I agree with Billy11 and so post the link to his entry by ohmy06!: http://www.aneros.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1140

    Wait just a minute! "post"...; "entry"...; why, we are subverting the Queen's English right here with this new-fangled Internet lingo and our noodlings and co-noodlings! "The Horror!"

    Thanks guys and gals for more and more!!! :D

    all the lightness of orgasmic energetic being to all

    artform
  • MarkM
    Posts: 33
    A week or two ago I happened to have a discussion with a friend of mine about the Aneros. Frankly, I wasn't sure how he'd taken it, he seemed genuinely put off. But a day or two later I got an email wih the link to this video in return. After seeing it, I called him and we both laughed, and he asked me for more information about the Aneros! Go figure. As B Mayfield alluded to, humor can be very powerful a variety of ways.


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZGnF6s03QY

    MarkM
  • artformartform
    Posts: 1,488
    Fun for the bookshelf or bedside table!

    BONK: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex by Mary Roach, the best-selling author of STIFF :lol:
  • The_BishopThe_Bishop
    Posts: 810
    I just saw this video tonight on how to perform The Male Deer Exercise.
    The narrator asks that you "suck up your testicles". In the latter half of the video
    the participants do the Pelvic Massage. Funny and weird.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qJpXrVn7Pg
  • The_BishopThe_Bishop
    Posts: 810
    Here is a oldie but a goodie. This one cracks me up every time.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6waXPTSrGiA
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,672
    Hello Everyone,

    Here is my submission. :D
    The Lonely Island
    Jizz in my Pants
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4&feature=channel_page

    This song/video has been a constant source of laughter lately. Listen to the words closely, and watch the expressions on the guys faces. LOL
  • lynn2694lynn2694
    Posts: 96
    Love_is said:

    Hello Everyone,

    Here is my submission. :D
    The Lonely Island
    Jizz in my Pants
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4&feature=channel_page

    This song/video has been a constant source of laughter lately. Listen to the words closely, and watch the expressions on the guys faces. LOL



    That video is hilarious!!!! Thanks for sharing! :wink:
  • Awesome video Love_is, thanks for posting the link.

    SWW
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    Love_is said:

    Hello Everyone,

    Here is my submission. :D
    The Lonely Island
    Jizz in my Pants
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4&feature=channel_page

    This song/video has been a constant source of laughter lately. Listen to the words closely, and watch the expressions on the guys faces. LOL





    Love_is,

    Hysterical vid by Andy from SNL! A terrific contribution to the F-SPOT! :lol:

    BF Mayfield
  • Alana
    Posts: 32
    ....and to add to the growing collection and lighthearted fare of the 'F-Spot' started by the illustrious B Mayfield,

    .....here's one to enjoy...a 'twist' to the aural quality...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbpEQbvskGg

    Click or copy & paste.

    Enjoy,

    'Alana'
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,672
    Fantastic Alana!!! Thanks for a good laugh to start the day...

    Do you smell egg salad? :lol:

    Love_is
  • Alana
    Posts: 32
    Thanks Love_is......but your submission earlier is fantastic as well!

    Here's to your 'pants'!

    Nothing like a little levity to lighten the day,

    'Alana'
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,672

    Nothing like a little levity to lighten the day,

    'Alana'



    Yes indeed!!!
    And here's some more of it!

    How I lost my Marbles
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmQdi2DC0B8

    Once again, watch the body language and the expression on the man's face.
    Enjoy!

    Love_is
  • Oh man love is.......... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :D :wink: :twisted:
  • lynn2694lynn2694
    Posts: 96
    Love_is,

    That is hysterical!!! Love it! I have done some nude modeling for an art group, that just made me remember the odd moments of doing that. That was great!!!!
  • Alana
    Posts: 32
    Great 'Marbles', Love_is! I LOVE Bobby Lee!! I have to share one of my most favorite!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TSWaKWiAhY

    Enjoy!
    'Alana'
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,672
    Hee hee, glad you liked it! :D

    That's a good one of Bobby Lee, Alana. LOL

    "...only this time she's Asian." :lol:

    Here's one of my old favorites from Mad TV. Whoever wrote the lyrics is a genius!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8cVYg7RNx4&fmt=18

    Love_is
  • Alana
    Posts: 32
    ...Here's a Talent worth noting!!!

    Enjoy!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddhVSQlExYE

    'Alana'
    [/url]
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,672
    Fantastic Alana! :lol:

    That gal has got some huge ovaries to perform that act!

    I can't help but wonder why the third kazoo that went up her butt was way larger than the others? :lol:

    Love_is
  • GrandTiger
    Posts: 325
    Thanks Rumel for the link.

    It's pretty clear that us guys are setting new records greater than 16 orgasms/hour and we don't go into a coma after more than 20 orgasms/hour even though we may drift in and out of this universe a few times!

    It did surprise me that the longest recorded orgasm is only 43 seconds with 25 consecutive contractions. I've frequently counted twenty-some contractions in a super-T that has lasted around 40 seconds, though I doubt I could do it if someone was monitoring me! But the super-O is way beyond these figures anyway.

    And it is certainly true that orgasms are wonderful for our health and feeling of well-being, as is a good laugh. Thanks Love-is for the link to the marbles clip. I laughed so much my stomach was aching!
  • Alana
    Posts: 32
    Rumel!!

    That site is EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!! I Loved every bit of it, from the facts and amusing observations, to the great stories GREAT info!!!

    Nice!

    'Alana'
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    How's your HOLE?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U65_0TlycIw


    BF Mayfield
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,257
    Hi guys,

    Jack Johnston ('hydraulic jack') posted this link to a short film titled "Bodhisattva in metro" over on his KSMO web site. When I watched the film I couldn't help butt think the guy who starts the action has really got a Peridise pleasingly nestled in his derriere. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did. It certainly hit my F-Spot.
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,672
    Rumel! Thank you for that youtube clip! That is downright amazing to see. And you can't help but join along and smile at the same time. :)

    Love_is
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    rumel said:

    (Note : Underlined Text is a Hyper-Link)
    Hi guys,

    Jack Johnston ('hydraulic jack') posted this link to a short film titled "Bodhisattva in metro" over on his KSMO web site. When I watched the film I couldn't help butt think the guy who starts the action has really got a Peridise pleasingly nestled in his derriere. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did. It certainly hit my F-Spot.




    A terrific video that reminds me of something that I learned in Transcendental Meditation a long time ago, that if only 10% of the earth's population practiced it, it would effectively raise the consciousness of the entire planet. Perhaps Jack is implicitly making the same point with his post of the video. While there is no substitute for a full belly and warm place to sleep, the ramifications of a happy, sexually fulfilled population are inescapable. There is no question that discovering this wellspring of blissful orgasmic joy (that is the Super O ) has had far reaching effects in my life. I like to believe that it has impacted the lives of people around me in one way or another as I've interacted with them.

    Maybe it's that silly grin that I have on my face all of the time! lol

    BF Mayfield
  • lynn2694lynn2694
    Posts: 96
    [quote=B Mayfield]
    rumel said:

    (Note : Underlined Text is a Hyper-Link)
    Hi guys,

    Jack Johnston ('hydraulic jack') posted this link to a short film titled "Bodhisattva in metro" over on his KSMO web site. When I watched the film I couldn't help butt think the guy who starts the action has really got a Peridise pleasingly nestled in his derriere. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did. It certainly hit my F-Spot.




    A terrific video that reminds me of something that I learned in Transcendental Meditation a long time ago, that if only 10% of the earth's population practiced it, it would effectively raise the consciousness of the entire planet. Perhaps Jack is implicitly making the same point with his post of the video. While there is no substitute for a full belly and warm place to sleep, the ramifications of a happy, sexually fulfilled population are inescapable. There is no question that discovering this wellspring of blissful orgasmic joy (that is the Super O ) has had far reaching effects in my life. I like to believe that it has impacted the lives of people around me in one way or another as I've interacted with them.

    Maybe it's that silly grin that I have on my face all of the time! lol

    BF Mayfield

    Hey B,

    This video is the perfect example of how a laugh is contagious. There is nothing like the feeling inside after a huge belly laugh that leaves tears streaming down your face.

    Thanks B!
  • lynn2694lynn2694
    Posts: 96
    Good ole Utube strikes again. There is nothing like a hidden camera incident. I thought I would share this one with the group. It's amazing what people will do at the gym to get a better body!!! (And how trusting they really are) This is really funny.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5zS7q1sVm


    The facial expressions are fantastic! Sex in the future!!!


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-L-lY5IuzM


    Enjoy everyone!
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,672
    Thank for posting Business Time esfenoides! :) Flight of the Conchords are great! It put a smile on my face for the day.

    Hi lynn2694, :)

    Sex in the future was very funny! Thanks for posting it.
    Your first link is invalid though, so I couldn't view what you wanted people to see.

    Love_is
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,257
    For all you Aging Aneros Rebel Practioners (AARP?) :lol: out there, this cartoon is for you, link courtesy of ‘Hlaser99’
  • The Phalli-Max electric stimulation appliance for the treatment of erection disorders.

    http://www.schwa-medico.com/cms/upload/pdf/info-phalli-max-Comic-en-4176.pdf

    Mr. Erection and Mr. Electrostim are quite the happy pair.

    SWW
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,672
    Hi SlipperyWhenWet, :)

    I'm guessing the funny part of that pdf file were the illustrations, not the dialog? The one on page 7 cracked me up! Obviously they weren't going for accuracy. Because my penis does not have a face and arms on it! :lol:
    Thanks for posting! :D

    Love_is
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,257
    SlipperyWhenWet,

    In response to the electro-stim article you posted I ran across this article today about these weird mice designs in this PC World article -
    The Worlds Weirdest Mice. While mouse #3 looks like a lot of fun, check out special mouse #5, can an “Electro-Enemagra” be too far away after seeing this ? Your mouse wired to your Aneros might certainly make the day entertaining! This mouse might give the "The Slightest Touch" a real run for the money. This would give a whole new meaning to being "plugged-in" and "charged-up" for work.
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,672
    Nice one rumel!!! :)

    I enjoyed looking at all those bizarre mice!

    While were on the topic of unusual computer gadgets...

    http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/japanfan/9c89/

    And for those of you having trouble visualizing how it works...
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_JQkRIT_hk

    Enjoy! :lol:

    Love_is
  • MartyB
    Posts: 80
    Before I discovered the aneros, I've had the best t-orgasm by letting it build slowly, massaging only my frenulum for 20-30 minutes. I discovered the equivalent area on a woman to be her inner lips. Knowing how much I enjoyed it, I decided to see if the little lady would like it just as much.

    After a few moist, gentle, delicate touches, I asked her how it felt and she approved. I continued using all of the strokes I've mastered on myself for her. As my fingers moved, I would try to get half of the movement to be gliding across her while the other half would gently move her tissues. This way you stimulate all of the nerves at the same time.

    After 15 minutes or so I could tell she was really starting to like it. Her facial expressions started to change and her breathing intensified. I resisted the urge to increase my intensity, knowing the orgasm would build to a greater level if it wasn't rushed. A few more minutes passed and her breathing and facial expressions changed again. I thought, wow she is getting close now. She gasped for air, I thought this was it; I can't wait to see how long it lasts this time. The next sound she made was a snore. I thought, no way. I stopped what I was doing waiting for her to ask me, "why did you stop?" She didn't. I chuckled to myself and fell asleep.

    The next morning I told her she fell asleep on me. We laughed and she said she was really tired and didn't remember falling asleep. I guess it's the best when you don't remember it. lol.
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,672
    Too funny MartyB! :lol:

    You induced her to have one of those sleep snoring orgasms that was so powerful, she couldn't remember it! :lol:
  • VoyagerVoyager
    Posts: 200
    MartyB,
    Your post reminds me of a joke that I heard many years ago.

    A resercher was out on the street asking questions about peoples
    preferred methods of sex.

    The resercher stopped a man and asked if he would answer a question.

    Which of the following methods do you preferr ?

    1. Sexual intercourse.

    2. Masturbation.

    3. Wet dream

    The man thought for a moment and replied "Wet dream"

    "Thats intreresting" said the resercher. "Can you tell me why"?

    The man replied "You meet a better class of person there"
  • MartyB
    Posts: 80
    I forgot to ask her what her dream was about. Maybe she really was enjoying it :wink:

    Marty
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    And now....a PSA about Prostate Health. Drop your drawers lads!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOTYM66e6ck



    BF Mayfield
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,672
    Great post B Mayfield!!!

    That was hilarious!!!
    Thanks for sharing. :)

    Love_is
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,672
    Ok folks...

    I guess someone had to do it. Here's the Perry Brothers parody of "Jizz in my Pants". You'll either laugh, or be grossed out. :lol:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDf22T_-44Y

    Love_is
  • alvalv
    Posts: 179
    Women


    A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 60 miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. 'I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce.'


    The wife says nothing, Keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 65 mph.

    The husband speaks again. 'I don't want you to try and talk me out of it,' He says, 'because I've been having an affair with your best friend, And she's a far better lover than you are.'

    Again the wife stays quiet, But grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 75 . He pushes his luck. 'I want the house,' he says insistently.

    Up to 80. 'I want the car, too,' he continues.

    85 mph. 'And,' he says, 'I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!'

    The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.
    This makes him nervous, so he asks her,

    'Isn't there anything you want?'

    The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.

    'No, I've got everything I need,' she says.

    'Oh, really,' he inquires, 'so what have you got?'

    Just before they slam into the wall at 85 mph,

    The wife turns to him and smiles.

    'The airbag.'
  • Billy11
    Posts: 280
    Ha now that's just too funny. Is that a real show on TV that's intended for children or just a random skit somebody made for youtube?
    Peep!
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,672
    Nice one Alv! :lol:

    Although I found myself confused between laughing and being creeped out as to who the intended audience is for this.

    Peep!!
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    Need a handjob? Check this out. "What a sweet release"!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJf_H35iyK4



    BF Mayfield



    p.s. They're actually selling this thing!