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Moaning during sex/sessions = pleasure gauge
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    I don't know if this topic is academic or feeding my obsession, but anyway,

    I've always believed that women get more pleasure from sex because they are vocal from the first thrust, whereas men only make panting noises (probably due to effort and concentration); they are vocal during orgasm, which my mind tells me that during penile orgasm, men get a "slice" of the pleasure a woman gets during the whole sexual encounter.

    You have to "tune in" to find out when a woman orgasms, coz if you don't, you'll assume it's just ordinary pleasure. Since men have uncontrollable moaning during the orgasm, it seems reasonable to assume that female uncontrollable moaning during sex means they get a "male orgasm" on every thrust and a mindblowing orgasm when they get one of their many longer lasting..ok, I'll stop there.

    How about prostate orgasms and stimulation? Do men moan during this? So is prostate stimulation on a par with sex as a female?

    If I could have been born female...I wouldn't be in this mess now. I'd have guys falling over themselves to show me how many clitoral, G spot and vaginal orgasms I can have.

    This week I became aware that I haven't even had more than one orgasm on one day. :(

    Yes, I need that therapist ASAP.
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,253
    (Note : Underlined Text is a Hyper-Link)
    MyTurn,

    I am very pleased to hear that you are seeking professional help in learning to deal with all these issues. GOOD FOR YOU! I don't know if this will help at all, but here is a thread by a young man facing some similar dilemmas, see – ”Some serious questions…”, at least you should know you aren't the only guy to face these questions. There was a lot of good discussion around this topic.
  • the few times I have gotten some stimulation from the aneros I did moan more than during masturbation.
  • Fuzzy
    Posts: 99
    Sorry to say, but it seems like you're over-generalising again MyTurn.
    Where did you get your information about how much men and women moan or groan during sex?
    Some women make no noise at all during sexual actvity. Some men moan and groan a lot all the way through.
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    rumel said:

    (Note : Underlined Text is a Hyper-Link)
    MyTurn,

    I am very pleased to hear that you are seeking professional help in learning to deal with all these issues. GOOD FOR YOU! I don't know if this will help at all, but here is a thread by a young man facing some similar dilemmas, see – ”Some serious questions…”, at least you should know you aren't the only guy to face these questions. There was a lot of good discussion around this topic.



    Thanks, yes I saw that post. He echoed me completely. However, he got told about how some women don't orgasm, and that tapered off his depression (or whatever) over the issue whereas I am concerned about the women that DO.

    It was a relief (or somewhat comforting ish) to see my thoughts echoed though. Even if he's onto some other worry now.
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447

    the few times I have gotten some stimulation from the aneros I did moan more than during masturbation.



    So the prostate for pleasure discovery is probably as important for men as the clitoris was for women, right? It's unfair that the clitoris has no "journey" associated with it.
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    Fuzzy said:

    Sorry to say, but it seems like you're over-generalising again MyTurn.
    Where did you get your information about how much men and women moan or groan during sex?
    Some women make no noise at all during sexual actvity. Some men moan and groan a lot all the way through.



    From walking past houses and overhearing, porn (which is exaggerated but fairly representative, right?), from imagining that a clitoris, vagina, labia, G spot, etc, blows a penis out the water in terms of pleasure.

    Is what you are saying true? I've never (in porn, TV, etc) heard a man moan on the first thrust, whereas the woman does.
  • Pan
    Posts: 249
    MyTurn said:

    Fuzzy said:

    Sorry to say, but it seems like you're over-generalising again MyTurn.
    Where did you get your information about how much men and women moan or groan during sex?
    Some women make no noise at all during sexual actvity. Some men moan and groan a lot all the way through.



    From walking past houses and overhearing, porn (which is exaggerated but fairly representative, right?), from imagining that a clitoris, vagina, labia, G spot, etc, blows a penis out the water in terms of pleasure.

    Is what you are saying true? I've never (in porn, TV, etc) heard a man moan on the first thrust, whereas the woman does.


    Guess you've never walked past my house then. :wink:

    MyTurn,

    when I was a teenager and started having sex, I became incredibly depressed because of the same general perceptions you're expressing here. My girlfriend was highly orgasmic and I wasn't. The more pleasure I gave during sex, the wider the gap I perceived between men and women's ability to enjoy orgasmic pleasure. And yes, the porn movies I saw only added to that perception. Personally, I didn't want to be a woman. But I desperately wanted to experience the "endless orgasms" that I thought only women could have.

    I spent 7 years carrying all that frustration, depression, and jealousy while I searched for any proof that as a man, I was capable of enjoying the same orgasmic pleasures women do. It took all that time for the Internet to become mainstream, and techniques like KSMO, and devices like the Aneros to surface. And when they finally did, it was like finding "The Fountain of Youth" or "The Lost City of Gold." Within weeks of discovering KSMO, and later on, the Aneros, I was actually experiencing what I had only dreamed possible for so long.

    I suddenly realized that the "gap" only existed in my mind and the lack of knowledge available to me in a sexually repressed society. It was widened even further by the fantasy world of pornography, which only shows you what it thinks men will buy, not what men are capable of. This particularly applies to the perception that "only women moan." As a heterosexual male, if I'm going to buy something to jerk off to, and my choices are "sounds of women moaning" or "sounds of men and women moaning," I'll take the first one every time! :wink:

    Besides, men in Western society are often taught that expressing feelings (other than anger or self-confidence) is a sign of weakness and vulnerability. Few things feel more vulnerable than moaning uncontrollably in pleasure. Sure it looks easy. But after a lifetime of social programming that "boys don't cry" and only woman make noise in bed, trust me, it's not.

    Even 6 months after I'd learned to enjoy multiples orgasms solo, moaning and groaning, and yes, even screaming in pleasure, the first time I went to share it with my wife - I froze up! I suddenly felt deeply self-conscious and it took months for me to learn how to really let go and share all those feelings with my wife. In a way, I had to learn how to "be myself" with her all over again in the bedroom. But once I got over feeling silly, and self-conscious, man those moans just came rolling out as easy as any (male or female) porn star you've ever seen, right from the moment of insertion, all the way through the entire encounter, each and every time we make love. And after years of making love in this new way, it's hard to imagine ever going back to "holding it in," like I used to. Like so many of us men think we're supposed to.

    As for comparing genitals. Well, first off, it's more accurate to compare the clitoris to the penis and the prostate to the G-spot. And secondly, all I can tell you is, I've been with my share of multi-orgasmic women. My wife is the most orgasmic woman I've known. When we first got together, before I became multi-orgasmic, obviously her orgasmic pleasure far surpassed mine (to put it mildly). But within a year of my learning to become multi-orgasmic, we were about equal. Now, she sometimes has trouble keeping up with me! LOL.

    Since I became multi-orgasmic, it's rare for me to see women in porn movies experience any particular kind of orgasmic pleasure that doesn't somehow mirror a similar feeling I can identify with. Frankly, although I will always love watching women have orgasms, it's not as impressive as it used to be. It's certainly no less beautiful! But now, when I watch a woman in the throes of intense orgasms, I often find myself thinking, "oh yeah, I've been there."

    Finally, regarding the perception that all women are multi-orgasmic (yet another perception you can thank the porn industry for) and can have all the pleasure they want any time they want. All you have to do is look at any modern study to find out what's really going on out there: http://womenshealth.about.com/cs/sexualdysfunction/a/femalesexdysfun.htm

    Nearly 15% of women experience pain every time they have sex! Approximately 10% never experience orgasm. Still jealous? I'm not. Sure it was long road to get where I am now. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. In fact, as time goes by, I feel more and more lucky to be a man. As for the next generation that will grow up with male multiple orgasms being common knowledge, now that's something I can be jealous of!

    Hope this helps,

    Pan
  • Billy11
    Posts: 280
    My Turn,
    Porn isn't fully real. I mean what you see and hear is mostly acting. For a lot of those girls you see moaning and such it's more an act than actual pleasure. Sure they may be feeling good but again it's usually over exagerated acting.
    For a lot of girls the clitoris and g-spot is a journey. Some don't feel much pleasure at all from it and have to learn to experience pleasure.
    You can't assume that all girls have no problem experiencing pleasure and orgasm. A lot do.

    Pleasure is so much mentally based. I can masterbate all day long and not experience any pleasure at all or have an orgasm as long as I'm not mentally doing anything that brings arousal. Mentally fantasizing about things that turn me on is what brings in the arousal and pleasure. Just having an erection for me isn't the same thing as being aroused. I can often feel more pleasure and arousal when I'm fully limp. Besides fantasizing, just focusing on your arousal and mentally expanding and building it higher and higher works as well.
  • hlaser99hlaser99
    Posts: 785
    Hey ALL!

    I can relate to what Billy11 just said in most all of his post.

    Also, thanks Pan for another of your beautiful and informative posts! I used
    some of the feelings and information in your posts several years back, to find my
    earliest successes, when I first began my journeys with Aneros and a little later with
    KSMO! Thanks, Man!

    I wish my former Spouse had been similar, in sexuality to yours, Pan! My Marriage
    of 25 years, was very much different, as my wife was cold and distant, and she would
    hear nothing of sexual experimentation, toys or anything else that might salvage our
    relationship! The only Orgasms she seemed to have, I almost had to force her to have???

    I am also a Penis=Clit/Prostate=G-spot believer! I have always been vocal during sex, but
    now I'm probably 10 times louder! LOL!

    I believe we ALL have our own personal journeys, sexual and otherwise, and mine is much
    better now than in the past! Although, I feel that it "would" be far better with a soul and
    sex mate! (You're a fortunate man, in this regard!)

    I want to thank this Forum for all the information and comfort it has brought me and others
    over the years!

    Later, Hlaser99
  • nood1963
    Posts: 113
    Hlaser and Billy,

    Well said in both of your experiences. I understand and experience the same which you two experience , and I believe that most men out there are too. It's such a wonderful life since the start. n
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    The last few replies have been so helpful. I have a few more questions.

    Billy11 -
    I can understand porn moaning is exaggerated, but I'm not sure that the guy is told to be quiet?

    You can masturbate and not get one ounce of pleasure, as if you were rubbing your arm? Then if my problems are psychological rather than urological/biological (insensitive penis), and I thought I was relaxed/fully aroused during masturbation at least (during sex, I guess I don't relax much if I am analysing and becoming saddened by the lack of pleasure. But is it the chicken or the egg that came first?), then that must mean that I have NEVER been relaxed/fully aroused - even when I felt I was.

    Pan
    - thank you so much for this. I have more of a tiered, layered "wishlist" for myself. I'd love constant pleasure during sex/masturbation. Then I'd want the extra orgasms. I don't know what it's like to have pleasure for a time and then it peaks. I just get an orgasm out of nowhere like an "awake" wet dream.

    I can't deal with the jealousy as long as you did. I already had it, but I was more obsessed with sexuality issues, so that took precedence. It is only after being sexually active that this has replaced my sexuality/confusion/figuring-out obsession sort of.

    Can I ask: do you use the Aneros with your wife?

    So do you feel men in porn are told to be silent?

    All - if penis = clitoris, G spot = prostate, what = vagina?, coz that is another source of immense pleasure and orgasm? The vagina was once thought to be the penis counterpart, so NOW what does it "counterpart"? Or is it a PLEASURE-BOOSTER, with no male equivalent?

    Thanks all of you for comforting me through this. I really need the help.
  • Pan
    Posts: 249
    MyTurn said:


    Pan [/b]- thank you so much for this. I have more of a tiered, layered "wishlist" for myself. I'd love constant pleasure during sex/masturbation. Then I'd want the extra orgasms. I don't know what it's like to have pleasure for a time and then it peaks. I just get an orgasm out of nowhere like an "awake" wet dream.



    Hey MyTurn,

    given enough time and practice, I think your wishlist can be fulfilled. Just take it one wish at a time. Have you tried KSMO? It's a male multiple orgasm method that begins by teaching men how to extend and expand their pleasure without slipping into ejaculation. You might wanna check it out.


    I can't deal with the jealousy as long as you did. I already had it, but I was more obsessed with sexuality issues, so that took precedence. It is only after being sexually active that this has replaced my sexuality/confusion/figuring-out obsession sort of.



    Well fortunately, you don't have to deal with it as long as I did. That's kinda the point. You have all these techniques, devices, and communities already in place, ready to help you. There are endless reports from men here and at multiples.com who were dealing with similar issues and came out the other side happier than they ever thought possible (myself included!). Just knowing there are so many other men who have been where you are, and can point you to where you want to be, sounds rather comforting doesn't it?

    Can I ask: do you use the Aneros with your wife?



    Yes I do. But not very often. We usually use KSMO in the bedroom. When we add the Aneros, combined with KSMO, it sometimes feels a little too intense for both of us. It's kinda hard to explain. But when my wife and I get into these intense, extended orgasmic states, it can be a little overwhelming. And the Aneros just acts like a supercharger. So we only use it when we feel like we can handle that much energy.

    So do you feel men in porn are told to be silent?



    I don't know if they're "told" to be silent. But I'm pretty sure they're encouraged to "show off" the women more than themselves. Actually, I'm old enough to remember when it was common for the camera to do close-ups of the men's faces during scenes. And so many viewers were grossed out by it, and even comedians and talk-show hosts would makes jokes about it, that the industry slowly learned to only do close-ups of the women's faces.

    I've also noticed that these days, they often film from angles that only show the man's penis, torso and limbs, but as much of the women as possible. I think the reason again, is so the men watching the film, can fantasize that they are the guy having sex with those women, rather than just watching people have sex.

    All - if penis = clitoris, G spot = prostate, what = vagina?, coz that is another source of immense pleasure and orgasm? The vagina was once thought to be the penis counterpart, so NOW what does it "counterpart"? Or is it a PLEASURE-BOOSTER, with no male equivalent?



    Well, in my opinion, the penis roughly equals both the clitoris and vagina in the sense that, when you compare them, the average penis is what? At least 50-100 times the size of the average clitoris? I mean, we can stroke our penises. To me that's where we find the vagina = penis similarity. They both enjoy "stroking" sensations.

    But ya know, although I do think male and female genitalia are generally equal, I'm not nearly as interested in it as I used to be. Once I started experiencing simultaneous, full-body orgasms with my wife, we could actually feel that we were both enjoying the exact same pleasures. We can see it in each others' eyes and expressions, hear it in the sounds we make, and feel it in the way we spontaneously move together. It's something we've come to realize through experience. And once you've done that, the mechanical differences tend to lose their importance.

    Thanks all of you for comforting me through this. I really need the help.



    Well I'm glad you've made the decision to get the help you need. That's a big step in itself! Remember, everything you're feeling is normal. But making the choice to feel better, now that's extraordinary! :wink:
  • Fuzzy
    Posts: 99
    Pan said:

    MyTurn said:

    All - if penis = clitoris, G spot = prostate, what = vagina?, coz that is another source of immense pleasure and orgasm? The vagina was once thought to be the penis counterpart, so NOW what does it "counterpart"? Or is it a PLEASURE-BOOSTER, with no male equivalent?



    Well, in my opinion, the penis roughly equals both the clitoris and vagina in the sense that, when you compare them, the average penis is what? At least 50-100 times the size of the average clitoris? I mean, we can stroke our penises. To me that's where we find the vagina = penis similarity. They both enjoy "stroking" sensations.


    Yeah, I would put it like this:
    Head of penis (Glans) = Clitoris
    Shaft of penis = Vagina
    Prostate = G Spot
  • Oh my god. The first time I played with my aneros, I would up just stroking it out, but I was moaning pretty obnoxiously with other people in the house, but now I have gotten better at silencing myself. It's unfortunate because then when I have the house to myself I'm still silent.

    ;/ oh well. :P
  • NunyaGA
    Posts: 38
    hmm. as a real live woman with a multiorgasmic vagina and a flexible view on gender roles I would like to put in my 2 cents.

    A - as far as being multi-orgasmic, as far as I know, very few women are - whether that is physiology or psychology, i don't know. My vagina had to be tuaght how to orgasm from penetration, and once it was, the multiples came easily. But I am also pretty uninhibited and know how to get the kind of stimulation i need, so it's pretty much guaranteed even with the most inept partner, I'll have an orgasm or two.

    B - as far as moaning goes - it's primarily for my partner's benefit so he knows when he's doing things right. If i'm masturbating on my own, i typically don't moan until i actually reach orgasm.

    I will say one place where you may have a point is this - guys traditionally have to do most of the work when it comes to penetration, and i guess many get quiet while they are concentrating. When I'm bottoming I have the opportunity to relax and just take it, and I become more verbal, since I can focus on sensation and not necessarily mechanics.

    But if i'm the top - i want my partner to be able to relax and let go and moan and talk dirty and whatever else he feels like, because it gives me feedback and increases my pleasure. Luckily my partner is very verbal like that, and I enjoy it. I find myself not having the mental freedom to be as verbal when i'm doing the work tho.
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    NunyaGa, that was another helpful post. Thanks.
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    Sorry for bumping this thread but I was watching a porno and my mind couldn't get away from how the woman was moaning herself hoarse. The man let out a pant probably twice. I was just wondering if any man has moaned constantly with his Aneros?

    Sorry for asking AGAIN :twisted: but my obsessive mind feels that unless I'm moaning like a woman, I am not even able to comprehend her pleasure. Also, I read a thread from a loving wife interested in Anerosing her husband to give him the pleasure that he gives her. This makes me feel that the prostate was a "lucky" organ (even though it's awkward, taboo, hygiene, dangerous, etc), because, if we didn't have that, we could only wonder what pleasure a woman has. It makes me feel that women were built to be pleasured by men, but men were just hmm, were meant to look on and be happy to please.

    I know porn is exaggerated, but the point remains the same. Just like the record my brain is stuck on. :twisted:
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    NunyaGA said:

    hmm. as a real live woman with a multiorgasmic vagina and a flexible view on gender roles I would like to put in my 2 cents.

    A - as far as being multi-orgasmic, as far as I know, very few women are - whether that is physiology or psychology, i don't know. My vagina had to be tuaght how to orgasm from penetration, and once it was, the multiples came easily..



    What was the teaching process, if you don't mind?
  • *lol* you're brain is definitely stuck on something.

    As i said above, chances are the reason most men are so quiet is because they are busy concentrating. Like this guy I was with - he wasn't able to be verbal and do the work at the same time. Just one or the other. That kinda made me lose interest, because I like multi-taskers, but whatever. He was pretty.

    I know my preferred partner is far more moan-y when he gets to lay back and take it, than if he is being the active partner. And vice versa - I'm more moan-y when I'm lying back, and less so when I'm being active.

    Have you had sex yet? I forgot if you had mentioned that or not.

    Anyways - re: being taught - it wasn't just any active lesson - just the first time i accidentally orgasmed from being penetrated - after that time, it's like my vagina just figured out what to do and i've been able to climax from penetration every time ever since then.

    The odd thing is that first accidental orgasm was in a very unusual position and angle, for me anyways. So it is surprising that I was able to climax in general after that. Maybe the guy pushed the "On" button. :P


    PS - DON'T moan like a female pornstar. You're going to freak out most of your female partners that way. It can be a turn-off.

    And another tip - if you're thinking so much about how you are sounding, you are not focusing on the sensations you are feeling. When you focus on sensation, the moaning will be involuntary, Grasshopper.

    And thus ends Nunya's Sex Tips of The Day.
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    Ha, if I could moan like a female pornstar...I'd "worry" about that "problem" of the pleasure being too much, when it happens.

    Thanks for the explanation. I appreciate it, NunyaGa.
  • I'm newer to this community, but I would have to say it is all in the individual and how they respond to stimulation that would determine their moaning, grunting and groaning. Just because women have a tendency to make more noise, it does not mean we are receiving more pleasure than their S.O. I've only had 6 physical partners and I would say that each and every one were very vocal. (BTW, I'm a 32 yr old female). Typically, I am very vocal, partly due to my pleasure but also to connect with my S.O. I am only intimate with people that I am very, very close, comfortable and open with. I've never been one for casual sex. The bond a couple may have might also determine how much they will allow themselves to just let go and be "loud and proud". I have never been with a man who waited till orgasm to moan, whether he's doing the thrusting or if I'm riding him. Nothing turns me on more than hearing the feedback from my partner and knowing that he is loving every minute inside me...whether through words or moaning. To hear a man moan is one of the sexiest things a woman can hear...unless he sounds like a castrated chimp...then not so much. HA-HA. I'M JOKING!!!! I'm sure everyone in here is probably aware to the fact that the more oxygen in the blood, the better when it comes to exercising. Sex is the same way. Moaning is encouraged for women when they give birth, it brings in more oxygen and is better for her and the baby. When you moan you are releasing air slower and it calms you. Next time you guys are about to enter a woman...take a micro-second and "taste your food". I obviously don't necessarily mean that in literal terms, but don't gobble so fast and "taste it later". Take the time to experience that first push inside of her. Let your mind have a chance to process it. She's already there and has her legs spread, you know she's not going anywhere. Make a conscious effort to just glide slowly and if you feel it, moan out for her. You'll find its very pleasureable.

    As far as multiple orgasms...It wasnt until the last year-year and a half that I was able to have an orgasm. I did have a few, but it usually set him off and therefore it was over for me quicker than I would've liked. Don't be jealous of a woman and her equipment. The men's record for orgasms still put most (not all) but most womens to shame. I still have some catching up to do...and I am. ha-ha!!!

    Enjoy!!!
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    lynn2694 said:

    I'm newer to this community, but I would have to say it is all in the individual and how they respond to stimulation that would determine their moaning, grunting and groaning. Just because women have a tendency to make more noise, it does not mean we are receiving more pleasure than their S.O. I've only had 6 physical partners and I would say that each and every one were very vocal. (BTW, I'm a 32 yr old female). Typically, I am very vocal, partly due to my pleasure but also to connect with my S.O. I am only intimate with people that I am very, very close, comfortable and open with. I've never been one for casual sex. The bond a couple may have might also determine how much they will allow themselves to just let go and be "loud and proud". I have never been with a man who waited till orgasm to moan, whether he's doing the thrusting or if I'm riding him. Nothing turns me on more than hearing the feedback from my partner and knowing that he is loving every minute inside me...whether through words or moaning. To hear a man moan is one of the sexiest things a woman can hear...unless he sounds like a castrated chimp...then not so much. HA-HA. I'M JOKING!!!! I'm sure everyone in here is probably aware to the fact that the more oxygen in the blood, the better when it comes to exercising. Sex is the same way. Moaning is encouraged for women when they give birth, it brings in more oxygen and is better for her and the baby. When you moan you are releasing air slower and it calms you. Next time you guys are about to enter a woman...take a micro-second and "taste your food". I obviously don't necessarily mean that in literal terms, but don't gobble so fast and "taste it later". Take the time to experience that first push inside of her. Let your mind have a chance to process it. She's already there and has her legs spread, you know she's not going anywhere. Make a conscious effort to just glide slowly and if you feel it, moan out for her. You'll find its very pleasureable.

    As far as multiple orgasms...It wasnt until the last year-year and a half that I was able to have an orgasm. I did have a few, but it usually set him off and therefore it was over for me quicker than I would've liked. Don't be jealous of a woman and her equipment. The men's record for orgasms still put most (not all) but most womens to shame. I still have some catching up to do...and I am. ha-ha!!!

    Enjoy!!!




    Terrific post Lynn2694! I couldn't agree more. Sound is indeed one of the pillars of Tantra. To stifle it or not appreciate it in all of it's complexity is wasting one of our key erotic resources. I also concur with what you said about stopping to savor the subtleties of sensation.

    BF Mayfield
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    lynn2694 said:

    I'm newer to this community, but I would have to say it is all in the individual and how they respond to stimulation that would determine their moaning, grunting and groaning. Just because women have a tendency to make more noise, it does not mean we are receiving more pleasure than their S.O. I'm sure everyone in here is probably aware to the fact that the more oxygen in the blood, the better when it comes to exercising. Sex is the same way. Take the time to experience that first push inside of her. Let your mind have a chance to process it.
    Enjoy!!!



    Hi,

    These posts are calming while reading. I just need my brain to take them on board permanently instead of coming back with my obsessiveness. Or is it just a real need to solve my problems. SOmetimes, I don't feel it's obsessiveness but desperation, frustration, helpseeking, etc. I will try that "first push" idea if girlfriend and I get back together properly (REAL rocky times with girlfriend at the moment, wondering if I should stay with someone I love, get on with, have fun with, "spark" with, but I know isn't "the one").
  • thhn
    Posts: 425
    . Next time you guys are about to enter a woman...take a micro-second and "taste your food". I obviously don't necessarily mean that in literal terms, but don't gobble so fast and "taste it later". Take the time to experience that first push inside of her. Let your mind have a chance to process it.

    Wow.... that statement is hot. It takes a woman to make a statement like that. It is true of food and oh so true of sex,
    I will be thinking of this the next time I have sex with my wife

    great input

    Sorry to get off topic - but how do you get your quotes to appear in the little box? the first statement is quoted from a previous post
  • MyTurn said:

    lynn2694 said:

    I'm newer to this community, but I would have to say it is all in the individual and how they respond to stimulation that would determine their moaning, grunting and groaning. Just because women have a tendency to make more noise, it does not mean we are receiving more pleasure than their S.O. I'm sure everyone in here is probably aware to the fact that the more oxygen in the blood, the better when it comes to exercising. Sex is the same way. Take the time to experience that first push inside of her. Let your mind have a chance to process it.
    Enjoy!!!



    Hi,

    These posts are calming while reading. I just need my brain to take them on board permanently instead of coming back with my obsessiveness. Or is it just a real need to solve my problems. SOmetimes, I don't feel it's obsessiveness but desperation, frustration, helpseeking, etc. I will try that "first push" idea if girlfriend and I get back together properly (REAL rocky times with girlfriend at the moment, wondering if I should stay with someone I love, get on with, have fun with, "spark" with, but I know isn't "the one").


    Myturn,

    Your honesty is inspiring. Most men don't talk like that, or at least admit things are what they are as you did. As far as wondering what you should do with your current gf...its admirable that your considering your future before proceeding. Wow, that's very rare. It sounds as though you have good chemistry with her...if I may ask, what makes her not "the one"? It is better for both of you if you didn't "settle" with someone you don't see a future with and also it would spare her feelings in the long run as well. (especially if she does ultimately want more) Nothing can hurt a woman more than to be with someone who they know doesn't want a future with them. Communicate with her and let her know where things stand. See if she feels the same way.
    Where I do not have experience with the Aneros...I have found that a womans perspective is sometimes needed and desired on here. I'm very open, honest and I'll admit....blunt. I think the purpose of this site, this forum; is to give that support, advice, ease frustrations and give help. As far as the "first push" aspect...it's just as good for her as it is for you...TRUST ME!!! I feed on the reaction of my S.O. when he's just on that edge of being inside of me. It totally sets the mood for our entire sexual experience. Let your S.O. know your enjoying the feel of her...from the very start!!! You'll see a change in her reactions...she'll feel more passionate. And all you men know...a woman will go the extra step when she's feeling that click and it's hitting home for her. (I know I do. :wink: )
    Enjoy!
  • thhn said:

    . Next time you guys are about to enter a woman...take a micro-second and "taste your food". I obviously don't necessarily mean that in literal terms, but don't gobble so fast and "taste it later". Take the time to experience that first push inside of her. Let your mind have a chance to process it.

    Wow.... that statement is hot. It takes a woman to make a statement like that. It is true of food and oh so true of sex,
    I will be thinking of this the next time I have sex with my wife

    great input

    Sorry to get off topic - but how do you get your quotes to appear in the little box? the first statement is quoted from a previous post



    To get your comment in the little box, click on the little quote tab in the top right of the box you want to respond directly to. Go to the bottom of the text box, make a little space below it and type away.

    As far as "it takes a woman to make a statement like that" Your darn right...lol. And I'm a woman who know's what she wants. :wink: (ha-ha). Trust me, your wife will not only appreciate it, but she will probably get more out of noticing your time to take pleasure with her. She'll see the difference and you may see a difference in her reactions as well. Like I said in a response to another post (on this forum). I feed off of my S.O.'s reaction to that first moment of him pushing inside me. It sets the tone for what is about to "cum". Make eye contact with her and let her see your reaction to her...don't hold back. LET IT ALL GO!!!!! It could be mind-altering for both of you.

    Enjoy!
  • TeeJayTeeJay
    Posts: 53
    My 2-cents --

    Sound is one of the gateway techniques to the Super-O. I use a variation of the Key-sound technique.

    I employ a low-level groan but do not bring the frequency up like normal KSMO -- works great for me.

    In other words, I just emit a guttural groan that moves the energy out through my pelvic region. -- It serves to release the some of the energy that I have built up. -- great for long-term low-orgasmic sessions.
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    lynn2694 said:



    Myturn,

    Your honesty is inspiring. Most men don't talk like that, or at least admit things are what they are as you did. As far as wondering what you should do with your current gf...its admirable that your considering your future before proceeding. Wow, that's very rare. It sounds as though you have good chemistry with her...if I may ask, what makes her not "the one"? It is better for both of you if you didn't "settle" with someone you don't see a future with and also it would spare her feelings in the long run as well. (especially if she does ultimately want more) Nothing can hurt a woman more than to be with someone who they know doesn't want a future with them. Communicate with her and let her know where things stand. See if she feels the same way.
    Where I do not have experience with the Aneros...I have found that a womans perspective is sometimes needed and desired on here. I'm very open, honest and I'll admit....blunt. I think the purpose of this site, this forum; is to give that support, advice, ease frustrations and give help. As far as the "first push" aspect...it's just as good for her as it is for you...TRUST ME!!! I feed on the reaction of my S.O. when he's just on that edge of being inside of me. It totally sets the mood for our entire sexual experience. Let your S.O. know your enjoying the feel of her...from the very start!!! You'll see a change in her reactions...she'll feel more passionate. And all you men know...a woman will go the extra step when she's feeling that click and it's hitting home for her. (I know I do. :wink: )
    Enjoy!



    Hi, as for feeling she isn't the one. It's just hard coz she has a child (1 yo), and her first priority is him, while mine is her, and if I let my work be my first, she feels neglected. Also, she's my first girlfriend/sexual partner, and I found out about her past which gives me obsessive thoughts that she's "dirty", doesn't regard sex as special (she's sexed guys she didn't love). I don't want to drudge up the thoughts I had on Saturday which alsmost had me ready to end it with her - she let slip about a sexual relationship she had. Just google "girlfriends past" or read about "CHasing Amy" on Wikipedia.

    I didn't think (since 1997, when my sexuality confusion and depression began. I've posted about it here) I could consider settle down with anyone before I met her. I was in a naive bliss for the honeymoon period. But after some time, I'm having some doubts. I'm scared that since she's already had a baby, if I had one with her, her vaginal muscles will be x2 looser. My mind is wondering what non-baby-stretched vagina is like.

    I dunno though. I wouldn't say that I don't see a future with her precisely, it's just that I would have to have a lot more going right in my life before I can think longterm with her or anyone. I am still working on fixing ME.

    My gf closes her eyes during sex. I had to "teach" her to put her arms around me and move about a little. Before that, her hands were behind her head. I'm trying to get her out of being a layback. I want to make eyecontact. I think I forgot the "first push" idea last time coz it was late, I was missing sleeping time, work the next morning, etc. Next time, I will do it.

    Thanks.
  • we have testicles too.
  • NunyaGA said:

    hmm. as a real live woman with a multiorgasmic vagina and a flexible view on gender roles I would like to put in my 2 cents.

    A - as far as being multi-orgasmic, as far as I know, very few women are - whether that is physiology or psychology, i don't know. My vagina had to be tuaght how to orgasm from penetration, and once it was, the multiples came easily. But I am also pretty uninhibited and know how to get the kind of stimulation i need, so it's pretty much guaranteed even with the most inept partner, I'll have an orgasm or two.

    B - as far as moaning goes - it's primarily for my partner's benefit so he knows when he's doing things right. If i'm masturbating on my own, i typically don't moan until i actually reach orgasm.

    I will say one place where you may have a point is this - guys traditionally have to do most of the work when it comes to penetration, and i guess many get quiet while they are concentrating. When I'm bottoming I have the opportunity to relax and just take it, and I become more verbal, since I can focus on sensation and not necessarily mechanics.

    But if i'm the top - i want my partner to be able to relax and let go and moan and talk dirty and whatever else he feels like, because it gives me feedback and increases my pleasure. Luckily my partner is very verbal like that, and I enjoy it. I find myself not having the mental freedom to be as verbal when i'm doing the work tho.




    So is the moaning really just fake? do men and women moan equally? it seems as if the media women moaning more.

    Also why can't a woman do an equal amount of work during penetration?
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    I don't get this "testicle" and "million dollar spot" thing. The testicles aren't really all that. Not compared to a woman anyway, and the $1 spot - if that isn't the prostate then please let me know what THAT is.

    You are reassuring yourself with this "men have X nerves, women only have Y nerves", which is neither true nor helpful to you.

    Pm me if you want.
  • MyTurn said:

    I don't get this "testicle" and "million dollar spot" thing. The testicles aren't really all that. Not compared to a woman anyway, and the $1 spot - if that isn't the prostate then please let me know what THAT is.

    You are reassuring yourself with this "men have X nerves, women only have Y nerves", which is neither true nor helpful to you.

    Pm me if you want.



    Its the spot between the testicles and anus. I don't know about you but my testicles get very sensitive during masturbation.

    How is that statement not true? The foreskin has 20000 nerves. Clit 8000. Penis 4000.

    Many women don't even have g spots.
  • MyTurn said:

    I don't get this "testicle" and "million dollar spot" thing. The testicles aren't really all that. Not compared to a woman anyway, and the $1 spot - if that isn't the prostate then please let me know what THAT is.

    You are reassuring yourself with this "men have X nerves, women only have Y nerves", which is neither true nor helpful to you.

    Pm me if you want.



    Its the spot between the testicles and anus. I don't know about you but my testicles get very sensitive during masturbation.

    How is that statement not true? The foreskin has 20000 nerves. Clit 8000. Penis 4000.

    Many women don't even have g spots.


    Many men don't have foreskins.
  • Jupiter said:

    MyTurn said:

    I don't get this "testicle" and "million dollar spot" thing. The testicles aren't really all that. Not compared to a woman anyway, and the $1 spot - if that isn't the prostate then please let me know what THAT is.

    You are reassuring yourself with this "men have X nerves, women only have Y nerves", which is neither true nor helpful to you.

    Pm me if you want.



    Its the spot between the testicles and anus. I don't know about you but my testicles get very sensitive during masturbation.

    How is that statement not true? The foreskin has 20000 nerves. Clit 8000. Penis 4000.

    Many women don't even have g spots.


    Many men don't have foreskins.


    This is true depending on the country you live in. But it is the norm to have one.
  • It's also worth pointing out that some women don't moan during intercourse, even if they're enjoying it - it's just not how they express pleasure.

    I used to be supremely jealous of the female orgasms until I started experimenting with my peridise, and the world of sensations it's opened up has been quite extraordinary - and I've never even had a super-o!

    I think the problem with men's sexuality is that penile stimulation (be it sex or masturbation) gives a very strong urge to go faster and faster, to punch through to the orgasm as quickly as possible, which not only stops you from appreciating the sensations you are feeling (and often leads to a dissapointing orgasm), but also lessens your emotional attachment to what's happening. Slowing down and really feeling every moment, allowing yourself to really get into it without orgasm necessarily being the ultimate goal has improved my masturbation enormously, and (somewhat counter-intuitively) not forcing the orgasm makes it so much sweeter when it finally comes. Patience is definitely a virtue.

    As for prostate/anal stim, the thing that is increasingly surprising me is that the penis is very much involved in the process, even if there's little or no direct stimulation of it. The sensations generated in the anus and prostate seem to earth themselves up into the head of the penis like an electrical spark, and even at my very basic level, can feel incredible. It also seems to feed back into normal masturbation too, so now when I'm masturbating normally, I can feel my prostate chiming in with little sparks and tickling sensations that deepen the experience and make me appreciate it more.
  • The problem might also be that women are taught they deserve more than they get because they can't reach orgasm as easily. Not fair for men.

    Men are taught to give more than they take because women need more.

    Selfish of women in my opinion.
  • [QUOTE=Fuzzy;76230]Yeah, I would put it like this:
    Head of penis (Glans) = Clitoris
    Shaft of penis = Vagina
    Prostate = G Spot


    What about the perineum, urethra and testicles? Women have siilar structures but it is not pleasurable for those to be pleased. that is why all the people who like urethral sounds are men.


  • My Progasm is making me moan more and more!