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personal questions for you guys
  • Mrsmith007Mrsmith007
    Posts: 13
    When you first got the aneros did you every feel ashamed or anything like that?

    The reason why I ask is because I am straight, and religious. I keep feeling this guilt for wanting to use the aneros. Anyone else have these issues?
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,460

    This Forum is pretty unique in its tolerance for diverse lifestyle choices, both in its acceptance of gender identification and social/religious belief systems. Many men begin their usage of the Aneros massagers with belief or behavior patterns that have been culturally ingrained in their psyches which may be at odds with accepting the notion of pleasure derived from one’s sole activities in this sexual arena. Hence, there may be feelings of guilt until one can resolve the conflicted feelings. It is probably not particularly useful to know the individual status of the posters on this Forum, nor is it particularly relevant for the purposes of discussion of the Aneros massager use on this Forum. I doubt too many people would wish to expound upon their personal belief systems here even though we are fairly anonymous in our actual identities. Perhaps you could invite individual members to PM their status to you, but in the end I don’t understand how such personal information would be especially useful to you or others.
    Personally, I don't have any guilt issues with Aneros usage, just frustration with a society which simultaneously praises freedom of choice but belittles its members who make unorthodox choices in all realms of sexuality.
  • newguy8762newguy8762
    Posts: 198
    Hey...I am a Christian...I believe Jesus is the Messiah and rose from the dead and I love Him and want to honor Him with my life...I love my wife and children...I have been pretty much exclusively gay in the very distant past but abandoned the lifestyle because I didn't want to live as a "gay"man even though I was sexually attracted to men. I don't think it's all that uncommon for guys to be attracted to other guys or even to have had several male sexual partners in the course of their mainly younger lives. I don't feel labeling is particularly helpful to personal growth or maturation and even though I still am mainly sexually attracted by other men, I'm obviously capable of a very fulfilling sexual relationship with a woman (my wife and I have several kids) so I don't know that identifying with anything other than "fallen human being" does me or anyone any good. We're all broken. We're all looking for meaning and joy and bliss and fulfillment...wether through our penis or other ways. And, there are many other ways than physical that we can feel this sense of completeness and joy and pleasure. It's kind of limiting to confine such experiences to what's between our legs just as it's wrong to deny that what's between our legs can also contribute to these.

    I don't think sex is sinful or evil. I think it's a gift from God. I don't think God's best is solo sex necessarily, especially when you're married but I think there are accommodations for it...sickness of a spouse, frequent travel, divorce, etc and it's certainly better than having sexual relations with a person you're not married to. I don't think there's anything wrong with exploring our bodies and feelings but I think when it's done exclusively in isolation, it's probably not emotionally, mentally or spiritually healthy.

    So, depending on your situation in life, it could be fine or it could be an issue for you.

    In any case, I hope you'll follow your conscience and do what you don't feel condemned in doing. We usually know in our hearts what's right and wrong.

    If you're married, why not bring your spouse into this? They might be more open than you ever imagined.
  • mrbatermrbater
    Posts: 43
    Hello newguy8716

    Firstly, I assume you’re a straight Christian in which case I understand your dilemma because it’s one that many Christians deal with on a daily basis. Unfortunately Christianity has been responsible for a huge amount of human suffering and mental anguish over the years due to its dogma.

    If one used ‘reason’ and not Christian doctrine as the basis of their moral ethics, one would understand that any act is perfectly reasonable if it brings happiness and pleasure without impacting negatively on your, or another individuals wellbeing. In which case it matters little if you are gay or straight etc.

    I believe the reason you feel ashamed is because you are allowing your religious belief to cloud your reason. Lighten up a little and allow yourself to enjoy your voyage into sexual enlightenment. After all, you are harming no-one.


    "I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
    Stephen F. Roberts
  • Mrsmith007Mrsmith007
    Posts: 13
    I tried to delete the subject but was unable to. So I removed the questions because i think if offended some of you. I assure you I, didn't mean to offend anyone. I asked the questions simply to see if there were others in my shoes, meaning straight men with religious values. Nothing more. So I'm sorry if i did offend anyone.
    Posts: 70
    You are not hurting anyone including yourself and that eliminates the possibility of this being a sin. On the other hand, if pent up frustration causes you to act outwardly angry towards another person (and this is very common) you should consider the source of the frustration and work hard to alleviate it. (Sorry for the lecture.)

    You are by no means alone. We have all been taught to feel guilty from feeling pleasure. It's a cultural thing. Forget about it. Be happy. Go for it. Don't feel ashamed. Go for it and let us know how things went. You may find new doors in life have opened up to you. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you. Let us know. I am looking forward to more posts from you.

    Now me? I am worried about how guilty I will feel when I lay on my death bed and wonder what pleasures in life I passed up. I am already disturbed about all of the chances I had with women and I did not act on. These are the days my friend - don't let them pass you by.
  • mrbatermrbater
    Posts: 43
    Hello again newguy8716

    I couldn't imagine why you would think you offended anyone. I thought your post was perfectly reasonable for someone with your ideals.

    I would think there are many other Aneros users out there that suffer similar concerns due to their religious beliefs

    Just try to relax and think logically about your concerns. As I said before, you are doing no harm to anyone.

    Cheers again
  • GrandTigerGrandTiger
    Posts: 325
    Hello MrSmith007,

    It's not just Christianity but western culture in general that is so messed up by the teachings of the Gnostics who believed that God created the soul and Satan the body. Though no one believes this heresy today, many still hold the belief that pleasure experienced in the body is sinful, especially when it comes to masturbation. Sexual pleasures that occur naturally as we go through puberty are suppressed when in fact we should be taught to enjoy them, practice solo cultivation for our physical and spiritual health, and to thank God that we are so fearfully and wonderfully made!

    I found this website to be very helpful:

    especially the article "'M' sin history"

    No wonder we had such a hard time growing up, being so frustrated and craving for sex, when we could have been enjoying the experience of becoming men while being happy and contented with ourselves.

    Now I'm 61, but I sure am making up for all that was stolen from me by Catholic teaching when I was 16. I've never enjoyed my own body so much in my life, and I thank and praise God for this wonderful gift of solo sexual pleasure that is so good for my health and well-being. I don't know about your circumstances, but for me, solo sex is the only kind available to me. Like Newguy8762, I also see it as a gift of God, so I thank Him and enjoy it. I think that to cast is aside would be an insult to God, and would only lead to my utter sexual frustration and despair.

    Prostate massage is good for your health. If it had been prescribed and turned out to be painful, the question of shame would never have come up. Perhaps God made it pleasurable to encourage us to do it!

    God bless you MrSmith007. Enjoy yourself and be happy. Remember, when we are free in Christ we are free indeed.

  • mobilesubmobilesub
    Posts: 77
    I have not found any prohibition against masterbation in the bible. There is clear condemnation of homosexuality but using an Aneros is not a homosexual act.

    Many people think that sexual pleasure derived from entry in the rectum is not manly. It is how the prostate is stimulated and outside of the US a very common practice for women to insert their finger to "add something" to lovemaking. Perhaps confusing something else for a finger is what has your guilt flowing.

    It is not possible to live a sin-free life, but using an Aneros or enjoying prostate stimulation is hardly among those things banned by the Lord. If you use it together with your wife, the bible says the marriage bed is sacrosanct and there isn't much you two could do that would be considered sin.
  • mrbatermrbater
    Posts: 43
    Without attempting to turn this forum into a philosophical discussion, Mrsmith007 has opened a can of worms when referring to feeling guilt using his Aneros.

    If the primary purpose of sex is reproduction, it’s reasonable to assume that sex evolved into a pleasurable activity to ensure the continuation of our species. After all, sex is one of the most fundamental of our primal urges. There is no more effective way of controlling minds than to take our most basic primal needs and label them as sins. Religious leaders through the centuries understood this and have used it as an effective tool to control us by burdening us with guilt and fear.

    By labelling our natural urge to experience pleasure and reproduce as sinful, religious leaders deliberately ensured that we will all be sinners; we simply have no choice in the matter. Consider how many clergy have been found guilty of child molestation and the like. If those closest to God can’t withstand the sexual urge, what chance do we have? And, once we accept the fact that we are sinners, we are easily controlled through guilt and threats of eternal damnation etc.

    There is no question that guilt is a severely debilitating state of mind and could well be partly responsible (if not totally) for many being unable to fully experience Aneros pleasure. Guilt could well be the subconscious blocker for many in our attempt to achieve the Super-O.

    My guess is that there are many more Aneros users out there like Mrsmith007 suffering from debilitating levels of guilt due to their religious upbringing and training. It’s a shame that religious dogma and not reason is the thing that drives most of us. How much psychological damage has been done through the ages by religion using our most fundamental urges to strike us down?

    Cheers to all

    "I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
    Stephen F. Roberts

  • pnomanpnoman
    Posts: 145
    God gave you a body.

    He never said "Don't touch your body."

    I enjoy picking my nose. I actually find it pleasurable to remove crusty boogers from nostrils. Does that make me less of a Christian because I stick my finger in my nose? I'm sure God doesn't really mind what I do to my own body.

    It is perfectly fine to use my aneros. I'm doing it to myself, and I LIKE it. I use it to give myself a massage. It feels good. I am not harming myself in any way. There is no damage that I am inflicting on my God-given body. I am not BEATING myself. I am not CUTTING myself. I am not SUFFOCATING myself. The aneros is a tool that simply provides one thing- PLEASURE.

    The only way that God would be against Aneros usage would be if you tied someone up and raped them with it. That would be wrong, you see. But if you use it on yourself- it's perfectly fine.

    Now if I can only convince myself that God isn't upset about all the cantalopes I've fucked...
  • Old WolfOld Wolf
    Posts: 114
    pnoman said:

    Now if I can only convince myself that God isn't upset about all the cantalopes I've fucked...

    As long as they weren't underage and it was consensual I'm sure God won't mind at all. :D

    Old Wolf
  • GrandTigerGrandTiger
    Posts: 325
    Cantaloupes, not to be confused with antelopes :lol:
  • OH!!OH!!
    Posts: 260
    Decided to edit for TMI:

    'Let every man work out his own salvation with fear and trembling'.
  • hapticbearhapticbear
    Posts: 83
    Let's try turning this on its head - I think we can agree to define masturbation as self-bodily stimulation - on that basis each of us is constantly masturbating because essentially we construct our nature of experience from sensory feedback loops - I guess self-touch is the most intimate, but all the senses are constructed from nervous system feedback loops. We use tools to develop and extend the depth / extent of these feedback loops - one of these tools is of course language - a consequence of internalised language feedback is contributor to our experience of consciousness - which allows us to conceptualise and communicate - ideas such as 'God'. I guess what I'm arguing here is the self-stimulation (masturbation) comes first (no puns intended!) and I would place this paragraph in the intellectual masturbation category :)

    For me one of the beautiful outcomes of language is this forum, perhaps one of the most informative knowledge bases currently on this planet.

    To conclude another tool in the promotion and extension of our self-stimulation loops, and it would appear a very effective tool, is the Aneros product range (I've got an advanced set of Peridise on order, so I'll let you know their outcome for me when they arrive).

    To end on a cheeky note - oh my God, I love masturbation.
  • Well I'm not religious at all.....

    But if I was I'm sure would also have feelings of guilt that the Big Guy didn't approve or something....but luckily I'm not!