Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Sign In with Google

In this Discussion

difficult to keep going
  • Hope I don't offend here, but can I get some thoughts. I am Very very straight. I got involved in anal with my ex fiance and that was the end of it. I got the MGX for some reason when I was a bit drunk and have really enjoyed it. My girlfriend just can't deal with me using an anal toy and I must start to keep is secret if I want involved. She thinks that I want to be with a guy or be gay cause I like to use this. I don't at all of course, but when I get on this Forum I am in the middle of both gay and straight. Is there any sites that are just for straight men who wish to talk about the aneros?
  • Ashlen
    Posts: 149
    I don't think there are any sites that are dedicated to the straight Aneros users to be honest. I know there are a lot of straight guys on here, I'm straight for one, but I don't know how a straight forum would be different than here. This sounds like a problem your girlfriend has, perhaps she is insecure about you using the device, that you might leave her should you suddenly become gay. Either way, keeping it a secret isn't a good idea, especially if you are caught later on. You have to try to make her understand that this is merely a device that allows a man to have multiple orgasms, it isn't a replacement for sex, nor does it magically turn someone gay, it is just fun toy. If she can't understand that, I don't know what else you can do.
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,257
    Hi nekedhiker,

    Well, your mission, should you decide to accept, is to become an educator and a salesman.

    As an educator you will need to enlighten your girlfriend to the fact that enjoying anal stimulation has nothing to do with sexual gender identification. If a woman enjoys anal play, does that make her want to be a lesbian?, of course not, nor does it make a man want to be gay. The nerves that exist around your anus can be pleasantly stimulated whether you’re male or female, bi, gay, straight or yet undecided. If she can’t understand the logic of that, you are going to have a lot of problems with her in the future, so you might as well get these paths of communication cleared up now. She needs to be made aware that prostate massage has been practiced for medical and health benefits for hundreds of years in eastern cultures and only more recently in western culture. She needs to understand that prostate stimulation is quite common in eastern culture sexual practices and has been part of the Kama Sutra and Tantric teaching for who knows how long. Both of those traditions are aimed squarely at male–female relationships, nothing gay there. She needs to be informed that a man with a healthy prostate and strong, well toned PC and pelvic floor muscles (which is what training with the Aneros provides) will make a better lover with greater stamina and ejaculatory control. Additionally , explain that use of the Aneros provides added stimulation for you which results in more animated sex between the two of you whether you are providing oral sex, intercourse, foreplay or whatever.

    As a salesman you need to “sell” her on all of the above. How you do that is letting her get this information from sources other than you. Have her read “Prostate Massage & Health” from the Aneros’ sister site (High Island Health) - and try to have her read the Sticky: “A Wife’s Perspective” on the Aneros Forum - (or you print out selected segments for her to read) .

    Finally, after you’ve accomplished the above, inform her that this is something that you want to try and experiment with beyond the health benefit aspects. Tell her that you believe that you are expanding your sexual awareness and opening yourself to new levels of sensitivity that ultimately will lead to greater personal growth. Tell her that this personal growth can only make you a better person, more loving, more caring and more sensual in your relationship with her. Inform her that this is your choice for self betterment and you are inviting her to join the learning experience as an expression of trust and intimacy.

    If, after all this, she still has hang-ups about your using a great little sex toy, dude, it is definitely time to terminate the relationship, because she’s undoubtedly somebody just trying to control you for her selfish purposes. It your life, not hers, it is wonderful to share life experiences, not have them dictated to you.

    I don’t know if any of the above is going to help her understand your desires, but at least it will give you more options to think about and use for discussions.

    P.S. regarding your earlier thread on upgrading, I suggest you wait a bit until you have more experiences with your MGX, you’ve only been at this a little over a month, if you want some tips though, check out the user polls - WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANEROS? & WHICH ANEROS MODEL IS BEST FOR NEW USERS?.
  • Billdo
    Posts: 25
    If she uses a vibrator does that mean the she really wants to have sex with the energizer bunny? Of course not. If you use the Aneros does that mean you want to have sex with men? Of course not.

    Hell, if either of you masturbate does that mean you really would prefer a relationship with a big giant hand or finger?

    I'm straight as well, my wife and I sometimes incorporate the Aneros into our sex life, and that's the absolute best. You need some variation of this:

    "Honey, this is something that amplifies my sexual feelings and therefore is something I want to share with you. There's no one I want more than you sexually, and the extra stimulation I get directly against my prostate takes the incredible sex we have and makes it even more intense. Also, I enjoy exploring the aspects of my own sexuality. The exploration itself is fun, and I'm sure you would agree that you want me to be open with you about that aspect of myself."

    Good luck. Don't keep it a secret, it's just not a good idea in a relationship in which sex is an integral component to begin to mentally separate like that.
  • Max
    Posts: 10
    These guys are absolutely right. I (like yourself) am as straight as they come. The aneros experience has nothing to do with being gay or becoming gay. I use it with my wife, and without her. She knows all about it and is supportive of me. She has multiples and I've wanted to find a way to have them also and she's completely on board. Why wouldn't someone who really loves you want you to experience the pleasure and deep feelings as they do? I've been using this openly since I first bought it for a couple years now and all is well. Communication up front is absolutely key!! If there are secrets with this it will cause an issue down the road. It's time to be a salesman, but if you have to sell to hard, it's probably not gonna fly with her long term. Be true to yourself.
  • I concur with the other guys that have chimed in here. The Aneros is not a "gay" or a "straight" thing. It is simply a device to introduce you to another aspect of your (male) sexuality. Personally, I think that we are all a mixture of the masculine and the feminine, with men having more "masculinity" and women more "femininity" to their makup. I see the Aneros as a tool to explore that feminine side of myself, where I am the passive, submissive party rather than the active, dominant party.

    Personally, just my short time with the Aneros (about a month) has opened my eyes to aspects of myself that I was never aware of and has introduced me to delights I never experienced previously. Does that make me "gay"? No, not that that would be a "bad" thing. I just have this love affair with women.

    Consider this: ought we not to experience as much of our sexuality as we are able to? Ought we not to seek all the pleasure in ourselves and others that we can? I think if we all did this it would be a much saner, more enjoyable world.

    Welcome to the Aneros experience.
  • Hi.
    I'm thinking the problem here is your choice of partners - and your own response to your own response.

    Let me explain.
    My wife is ultra-conservative, and allows/wants/likes me to use any model of of the Aneros that I have. And I use it almost every time we have sex. Like you, I too, profess to be "straight". And I am, too. However, I do like the anal orgasams I have using one of my (3) Aneros models. And frankly, if gay sex was only about prostrate orgasams, I'd be gay. It isn't, so I'm not a homosexual.

    If your girlfriend is uncomfortable with your sexual desires, she is not the right woman for you. Period.

    If my wife is open to me using a butt sex toy everyday, and yours isn't, then you need to find the right woman. (my wife has even bought one for me for my birthday!).
  • Hope I don't offend here, but can I get some thoughts. I am Very very straight. I got involved in anal with my ex fiance and that was the end of it. I got the MGX for some reason when I was a bit drunk and have really enjoyed it. My girlfriend just can't deal with me using an anal toy and I must start to keep is secret if I want involved. She thinks that I want to be with a guy or be gay cause I like to use this. I don't at all of course, but when I get on this Forum I am in the middle of both gay and straight. Is there any sites that are just for straight men who wish to talk about the aneros?



    Enjoying anal stimulation has nothing to do with one's sexual orientation/preference. There is plenty of literature on the internet to back up that if you want to show it to your girlfriend. I notice you tell people you are straight a lot on here. That's cool. We don't discriminate against anyone's sexuality on here. There are plenty of straight men on here for you to talk to. This is not a gay or straight site per se. The Aneros is for all men and the Aneros Peridise sets are for both men and women. If you only like women then you are straight. You should explain to your girlfriend that many straight men get into anal pleasure including women. It's not just a gay thing. Maybe you should get your girlfriend the Peridise and see how she enjoys anal pleasure then. She might thank you and may have a different outlook on anal play after that.