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  • I have had my Aneros for about a week and I have tried it about four times for over an hour each session and have achieved zero. I am a bit discouraged but I am not givimg up I believe I am relaxing and infact it gets rather comfortable. I begin small contractions and hold them apparently not long enough about thirty seconds or so. I am rather aroused when I know I am going to try it, I believe I am using plenty of lube it drips all over, but I get nothing. Am I trying to hard? I am married and my wife would never understand, so I have to do it when she is not around or when she is asleep. Maybe I am paroniod? Can you help or give suggestions? I am a very sexually active man and my wife like most wifes seem as though they could go for ever without, I myself would like to get massive orgasms as often as possible.

  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,140

    Don't be discouraged! Success with the Aneros requires time, patience and self-discovery. It's unfortunate (and yes all too common) that your wife's not with the program. It seems there are so many women who are squeemish when it comes to anal play, for themselves or their partners. The trouble is, that in order to relax and approach this in the right really need some space. I'm doubtful that doing this on the sly will be fruitful. Rather, try to schedule your sessions for times when you know you will be completely undisturbed so your mind can be free and clear.

    If possible try to eliminate the burden of expectation, instead look at these sessions as an opportunity for some new learning and exploration. Remember, the sensations that you are in search of are very subtle at first, and might be ignored otherwise, if you are not observant. Stop thinking about sensation in the frame of reference that you know, (the traditional or penile approach) and focus on feelings that involve the area at the base/root of your penis and perineum and extend into your anus, prostate, rectum and deep within your body.

    If you enjoy erotica (as many of us do), one exercise that I've suggested in the past is to view some while executing some slow and very subtle anal contractions. Start with a set of 10, holding each for 4 to 6 seconds. When you find something visual that is particularly arousing don't forget to do this. What's this about? It's about training your body to experience arousal and the sensations that can come from strong arousal in a new way. A way that is not centered on your penis. (Oh...and this is something you can do with your clothes on if you wish...of course it's more fun naked...) Of course, don't be surprised if you do get an erection, and it's okay if you do, the idea however is to start experiencing sensations more INTERNALLY if possible.

    While you're at it, check out BEE LIne for more tips, be sure to check out my comments regarding determining Session Duration as well. There is a wealth of information to be had in BEE LINE and in this forum, so do a little research.

    Stay with it...

    BF Mayfield
  • Thank you very much for your information and I will try. I do get somewhat aroused just thinking about it.