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Hi. My Name is ... and I'm an Aneros-holic.
  • pnomanpnoman
    Posts: 145
    Im a 38 year old straight Aneros user for over 2 years now. I use it 3 times a week - almost religiously. My sessions normally last 2 - 3 hours. I used to jerk off to complete my sessions, so that I could get the feeling that there was an absolute end to the journey, because let's face it 3 hours and no cumshot kinda sucks! But I have grown past that- I haven't finished myself off for the past 9 months or so. It's all about the rewiring I keep telling myself, right?

    I never had anything more than a finger tip in my ass before purchasing an Aneros toy. And the fingertip was something that my wife tried on me while giving me a blowjob. But it only happened about 3 times over the course of our 12 year relationship. I knew that I kinda liked it, and that was one of my reasons for purchasing the Aneros.

    Well I've noticed a few changes about myself over the past 2 years. I have become ADDICTED to using the Aneros. I have tried to send my wife on errands so that I could gain a couple hours of secret "me time". Once a week I'll wait for my wife to go to work and sneak in a session. I find myself thinking about my Aneros usage the day following a session (especially if it's a good one!)

    I have found myself being less inclined to have sex with my wife. She isn't the greatest lover and we have fallen into a sexual slump- where 90% of the time sex consists of 1 minute of genital touching followed by 2 positions, first her on top, then me on top. She cums, I cum, then its "Goodnight - I love you too" and we go to sleep. Pretty boring stuff. I have spoken to her MANY times about our boring sex life and it almost always ends in an argument. I now take more pleasure in masturbation than coitus. Sex lasts 20 minutes. When I jerk off (on average 6 days a week - no B.S.) it takes me 2-3 hours (Really). (I'm talking about Vaseline and internet porn- not Aneros sessions.) I am convinced that I am my greatest lover...sad, but true!

    The past month has brought new concerns about my Aneros usage. I have found it difficult to maintain an erection when having sex with my wife. I can get hard, but don't always stay hard. I have given up on a few occasions- much to her dismay. My excuse to her is that I'm tired. But I don't know the real reason. It's sex...I love sex...why can't I stay hard? I mean- I WANT to cum. I am not sure if this new development is due to my devotion to 'rewiring' or just because I have grown bored of having sex with my wife.

    The other thing that's different is that I'm more open as a person. I have found that I'm nicer and more compassionate towards people. I have also become more open to different types of porn. I used to think that Shemales were disgusting- now I find myself searching for some good tranny porn (Kimber James is so hot!)... And bisexual porn is no longer taboo. But straight up gay porn doesn't work for me. I'm just not attracted to guys fucking guys. But for some reason I don't mind watching a guy fucking a girl while another guy is fucking his ass. Go figure. Part of it must be because I know that my ass is a pleasure center and it feels good to have this plastic toy in there.

    And strangely enough, throughout all of this- I have a deep fear of injuring myself from my Aneros usage or creating irreparable damage to my asshole. Especially the whole fear of fecal incontinence as I get older. I have noticed that it has become easier to insert the toys over time, which doesn't bother me so much...until I think of the impending embarrassment when I start going for yearly prostate exams by my doctor. I'm scared he's gonna stick his finger in and immediately know that my ass is abnormally loose.

    I apologize for rambling- but I don't have the time to edit this. I think my wife just went to sleep and Mistress Aneros is calling...

    If any of this sounds familiar to you, I would love to hear your comments.
    Posts: 6
    No reason to worry about incontinence or unusual looseness. The reason you are accepting the toys easier is because you are more comfortable with the toy. I'm sure you'll be surprised about just how uncomfortable a prostate exam will be for you with a strange man that smells like antiseptic in a cold, white room. Aside from that, Aneros use is actually strengthening your pelvic region. You will see yourself ejaculating more, harder, and further. You will have more pelvic control, and overall, a tighter sphincter.

    Unless you are stretching yourself to the point of injury, I wouldn't worry about incontinence. I've never had an issue after several years of toying with things multitudes larger and longer than an aneros. If I'm not in diapers, you won't be.

    Being open and adventurous is not a bad thing either. Some people find it taboo and strange, but just turn the tables on your partner should she ridicule your likes, I'm sure her fetishes (we all have them) will be just as strange to someone else. And who is to say what's right to like and wrong to like? Obviously, a fair number of people of all orientations and backgrounds like what you are into, otherwise there wouldn't be a significant bit of internet porn out there. If she's worry about you "getting a bit of the gay", well, not much you can do to change her mind. It's not as though you ever accuse her of being a lesbian for liking receiving cunnilingus, now is it?

    Too much of anything is a bad thing. I'm separate from my girlfriend right now due to work, so I expect I'm going to have to work the aneros into our relationship and be sure to keep it very balanced. She gets very turned on by me enjoying myself sexually, but she was initially very angered by any subject of toys, be they for me, or for her. To her, they felt like she was inadequate, being unable to get herself off as well as the toy could. But I eventually changed her mind. It's not that the toy's better, it's just that it's different. And different is always good. I'm working on telling her about this. I don't expect I'll be telling her about the blog for a while, as she already knows I've had past experiences with men, and will probably worry that I'm gravitating back there again (which isn't on my to-do list). I will have to break the blog to her by letting her read excerpts of it, and slowly open her eyes to other peoples', and show her that part of the reason I'm blogging it is to share my experiences with others so that they too may learn to explore themselves, and learn from my success and failure.

    As for your wife being a bad lover, that's such a cop-out. TELL HER what you want. Not before sex, not after, because that's criticism. She's going to take offense. During sex, in the moment, roll her over, put a finger in her mouth, bite her lightly, do whatever it is that you both need. Tell her to do the same to you. If she says no, just tell her later that you want to explore some new ways to spice up the relationship, and enjoy each other. If you want to take the lazy way about and have a housewife, hire a maid. If you want a wife, you have to do the work to deserve someone who loves you. Not appreciating them without giving them the chance to make you happy is just selfish and cruel. <--This is why divorce rates in America are so high these days. Because we, as a culture think marriage is coexistence, and that our spouse has to know us to satisfy us. Half of the fun of a relationship is what you don't know, and what surprises you. Sometimes, you have to take the initiative to start the fireworks over again.
  • "The Sex-Starved Marriage" is twelve bucks on Amazon. Buy it, read it, put it where she can read it.

    You are short-changing yourself with your marriage. Your wife has to know what you want, what you refuse to live without. She might be having problems that you don't know about.

    As for the rest, yep - that Helix is addictive, and a true contributor to world peace.
  • CockadoodleCockadoodle
    Posts: 400
    Hi, pnoman, and thanks for a very interesting and enlightening post.

    I, too, am an aneros addict. I admit it, and I'm not sure I am comfortable with the "problem".

    Take this week for example...and I know it's going to sound pretty extreme. I travel a good deal, and I'm on the road, alone, often for two to three nights a week. I have become addicted to aneros because I have so much "me time" to deal with. I often have times when I'm not needed during the day that I'll slip to my hotel or motel room in the morning or afternoon for a session! I did that on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, in addition to excellent morning sessions that lasted 1 to three hours. How's that for addiction?

    This is partly due to fact that not only do I make the time, but I often experience Super O results and that just fuels the fire for another session. That and the fact that I truly believe that prostate excitement builds over multiple, closely spaced sessions. My Super O yesterday was astronomical! That one was with a Progasm, but I get them with my Helix and my Eupho, too.

    So, how does this affect my sex life. Well, to be truthful, I don't have one. My wife is totally indifferent to sex. We're both in our 60's and it's just not interesting to her. Now, that may be my fault as well, and I've spent a good deal of time thinking about how to reconcile that. Have I talked it out with her? No. That's definitely my fault, but like any other marriage, there are many mitigating circumstances as well.

    So. Dealing with the Aneros. First, I have no issues with ejaculation...although I will admit that it takes a bit longer, but that could be due to my age, as well. Younger guys with higher libido's, I believe, have less trouble with this. Being multiorgasmic, I think that willfully withholding ejaculation does tend to teach your body to NOT cum as easily, and I have solid dry O's when attempting to masturbate. This is not a concern, for me.

    I use my various model Aneros' and have for several years. I think my anal sphincter is much stronger now than before. I recently had a DRE and my doctor had no problems examining me, and my anus is good and tight. HA! Yes, my toys go in a lot easier than earlier on, but that's to be expected, especially as my ass is "happy" to get and Aneros inserted, anticipating a good time!

    I once asked one of our senior members if I was using too much. I was worried about urinary problems, etc. He reassured me that that was not a problem, and countered with "if you were a monk, would you think you were praying too much" if you did it all the time? HA...anyway, the message is clear.

    Now, if it's interfering with your marriage, then yes, you need to deal. As XIII and EJ have said, there are good methods and lots of good therapy out there to help you work through that. That's a whole 'nother issue, IMHO, but as far as Aneros use is concerned, I don't believe you have a thing to worry about.

    Life and living well is always about balance. If one thing gets way out of balance, it'll tip you over, and that's probably not good. Try to work it out with your spouse, and build that trust, vigor and mutual pleasure. It'll be good, GREAT in the end.

    Peace brother and success on your journey.

  • calmercalmer
    Posts: 75
    Folks I think this could form a good poll 'How does Aneros interfere with partner relationship'.

    My relationship with Mrs C is very similar to Cockadoodle. I am 56 and used to work away from home each week. I took early retirement in January. It is great being at home doing everyday mundane things with the wife but our sex has not changed. My wife believes sex is purely for making babies and now she can't make babies ...

    Aneros is my Saviour which keeps me sane and I believe keeps my prostate healthy. I think it is the normal aging process which reduces my ability to create and maintain an erection. However, if I am fortunate to experience 'Morning Glory' the wife will assist with the massage to make it better.
  • BamaBama
    Posts: 20
    Could it be that the majority of us who have been in a long term relationship (I celebrated my 33rd yesterday), and have lived and experienced many years of sex, have simply found another outlet?

    I guess what I am trying to say is that I have "been there, done that" with sex many, many times. My Aneros use has opened up simply a new way to experience something different. I have to agree with the older generation, that both myself and my wife have lost a lot of the sex drive than we had when we were young.

    I actually find it very hard to get sexually motivated or excited during a Aneros session. I just enjoy it for what I get out of it. Is that different than most of your experience?

    (Reminds me of a old tale that says "If you put a bean in a jar for every time you had sex the first year of marriage, you would never take them back out the rest of your marriage.")
  • Edit
    Posts: 0

    Life and living well is always about balance. If one thing gets way out of balance, it'll tip you over, and that's probably not good. Try to work it out with your spouse, and build that trust, vigor and mutual pleasure. It'll be good, GREAT in the end.

    Be at ease man...........I wonder if you might be psyching yourself out here? Cockadoodle gives good advice. Keep things in balance. Your aneros use does not seem to be consuming you. Honestly, I'm more concerned with 2-3 hours of internet porn 6 days a week vs the aneros. If performance issues are getting in the way, then look into getting viagra or cialis and take that issue off the table so you can just enjoy the moment with your wife. Nothing better then a strong erection to provide confidence and pleasure.

    Only you know if any of this is affecting your life and relationships negatively.

    Most of all enjoy the journey.
  • pnomanpnoman
    Posts: 145
    XIII- Thanks for the comments. I am producing MUCH more ejaculate these days. Definitely a bonus! I don't think I'm stretching myself to the point of injury- it's not like I'm manually moving the aneros or bouncing while sitting on it! Thanks to some of these comments here, I'm not as worried about the finger exam anymore. And, I've tried to comment before, after AND during sex...doesn't work too well. I'm going to order that book Endorphin Junkie recommended and see what transpires. I appreciate your taking the time to post!

    Cockadoodle- I'm jealous of your super-O's. I'll keep training myself and hopefully I'll be able clamp down so hard, the doctor won't be able to get in without a crowbar! LOL. And Thanks for the advice, I'll keep 'praying'!
  • HelixerHelixer
    Posts: 566
    I've been a little too succesful in incorporating the Aneros into my daily life. So every day I wake up 'prostate horny', it's like an itch that has to be satisfied at least 2 hours every day. I've decided to stop for at least a week and see how it goes, break thru the daily routine, and when I get back use it only when my prostate is crying out for something hard to rub against it(hmmz, that's been like every day:(
    I feel it's getting in the way and if you can't stop then ít's a problem. I'm a bit worried I'll loose the ability, but if that happens there's always the many grams of hasj I've got stashed away to get me back in the O-zone ;)
  • HelixerHelixer
    Posts: 566
    The past few days I've been substituting my Aneros use with KSMO so I don't know if I'm experiencing withdrawel symptoms or if it's due to the effect of the KSMO but I'm continually aroused and feel my prostate buzzing and tingling in my dick, a bit like what I feel leading up to a dry orgasm, I actually feel tingling over my whole body but mainly the prostate area, ass, dick, abs, thighs and spine.

    So to try and get rid of this I've being using the fleshlight, but I could be using it all day, it doesn't go away even after ejaculation.

    Has anyone experience something similar after stopping Aneros-use or are they echo effects from KSMO?
  • artformartform
    Posts: 1,488
    Well well Helixer!! :D :D

    You are well into a great Aneros/KSMO extraordinarily complementary dual practice, IMHO. Your "symptoms" sound exactly like Echo Effects from KSMO boosting seriously your Aneros rewiring and opening/awakening to the energies dimension rather than fragments of the older ejac orgasmic responses. Yes I have experienced exactly this as you describe it. You are officially in the O-zone!! Welcome!

    ...if it's due to the effect of the KSMO but I'm continually aroused and feel my prostate buzzing and tingling in my dick, a bit like what I feel leading up to a dry orgasm, I actually feel tingling over my whole body but mainly the prostate area, ass, dick, abs, thighs and spine.

    So to try and get rid of this I've being using the fleshlight, but I could be using it all day, it doesn't go away even after ejaculation.

    Soon you will likely find that you can store those energies, accumulating them for later purposes, and call them up with conscious intention when you choose. Join in the every-other-weekend chats at KSMO to explore this more with Jack and your fellow practitioners! Your Jing(Orgasmic)>>>Chi/Qi(Life-Force)>>>Shen(Spiritual) bio-energetics are awakened and bring myriad possibilities!

    It does feel a bit bewildering initially, butt as you settle in with it, this is one of the key parts of the real core of your new lifetime practice.

    all the best full O-zone opening and awakening to one's full bio-energetic orgasmic potential all