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8 months in, progress made!
  • Last night I think I had my first P-wave. Had two of them! I've been using the aneros irregularly since April, I think. I was quite turned on and went to bed with the aneros, got comfy on my back, and just relaxed. I did something that I hadn't done before though, by pulling my balls tight and pressing down on the perineum myself with my fingers. It only took 10 or 15 mins for me to feel something down there, and eventually I felt a stirring that scared me because it felt quite similar to what I experience during a panic attack. The wave grew from my pelvis and travelled up to my liver and heart. I freaked out a little bit and stopped everything, but then I thought that I could possibly enjoy the feeling if I was relaxed and just let it pass.

    I've had a panic attack before that was induced by acupuncture, and it felt similar except was amplified to feel more like the stirring was a bomb of energy exploding inside me and travelling up to my liver and heart. It was amazing though, and I can see how it could have been enjoyed

    I had another small wave 5-10 mins after the first, and tried to relax and enjoy it, but I was still compelled to shut it down. I don't think I would have felt anything if I wasn't pressing down under my balls myself. Does anyone else do that?
  • I believe what you experienced is called "Terror at the Gates". I have experienced this myself.
    You can read more on it in the thread "Scared of the Super-O".
  • Thanks for pointing that out! I could be having "Terror at the Gates", but I think it's terror at the gates of a P-wave, not a Super-O, lol. The reason is because I've hardly ever even felt the twitching or "worms" that have been described as the first pleasurable sensation to be had. But, maybe I am at the mini-O stage and I'm just not sensitive to the pleasure that can be felt at earlier stages. A poor pleasure response has been with me for a while.

    Funny, though, that at the time, I was trying to relax and let it all go as if I were in an acupuncture session. During acupuncture for anxiety, you have to clear your mind completely, or else you feel negative effects rather than clearing the blockage, so that's what I was trying to do that time. Moreover, I was trying to release all tension in my pelvic zone, to not become more tense as I got more aroused, which is counterintuitive to the traditional orgasm. The more aroused I got, the more passive I tried to be.

    I still think that the fear and stirring that I felt was part of clearing a blockage too. Seems to me that the meridian travelling up my front-centre is pretty dead due to liver chi stagnation and the poor quality of my trad-O's since the teen years.