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Pegging vs Solo Dildoing
  • devajones
    Posts: 148
    @mdad you are such a sweetheart.  You think so much, that is definitely endearing, especially when it is a genuine concern for your wife.  I have a bit of news for you...we dont say yes unless we are curious about it as well.  She maybe happy to please you but I would bet my life she is just as curious about this...I'm also sure that curiosity will grow once she see's your eyes roll back in your head lol.

    Glad you are making progress I understand what you are saying perfectly clear.  I think you started a wonderful thread by the way.  I'm glad to see it is progressing and has what I feel is valuable information cropping up pretty regularly.  
  • @devajones I agree with you.  When my wife saw the orgasms I was having, she went wild.  She LOVED seeing me shake with pleasure all over my body!  It's wonderful.  Now if we just had more opportunities and time without the kids, that would be great!  ;)
  • devajones
    Posts: 148
    @cj187 you are a charming stud, I'm sure that with time and patience your gorgeous wife will get the pegging bug.  Never give up on trying new things (i know you wont lol), and asking for what you want (in a constructive way) there is nothing wrong with your desires.  You already know I find them quite sexy!  Thinking of couples venturing into unadulterated sex between each other is something I'm on a crusade for.  If I can help a few here I've done my work lol
  • devajones
    Posts: 148
    @married2mywife YES we love to see our men in bliss.  We love it when they take care of us sexually, and so many men as the mature learn to do that effortlessly, we do appreciate it and wouldnt trade it for the world.  However a penile orgasm is great (i love those too), but there is a whole other world of seeing those MMO moments.  Even if we have no clue what they are we know that you are enjoying yourself, and we are the cause of it.  Nothing is more arousing than the thought and sight of that.
  • cj187
    Posts: 68
    @devajones why thank you, I'm blushing. I love that you champion this and aneros play in general actually. I can see a paradigm shift in the way it's viewed but it's very early days still. May I ask what would be the best way of asking again?
  • devajones
    Posts: 148
    @cj187 my best way of approaching this is sitting down with her and relaxing for a bit before you jump into the conversation ask her how she's doing or something like that just light easy talking.  Then tell her how beautiful you think she is, ask her "have i told you how much you satisfy me lately? You do more than anybody else in my life, just you, only you." kiss her.  

    Yes I'm saying you have to woo her lol sorry guys thats just how we work. Ok back to the wording...

    After that just say there is something I've envisioned you doing to me, it really turns me on.  Just the idea of you being with you in this way has me lusting after you.  I'd love it if you would peg me.  I know its not something we've tried before, and I heard you before when you said no, but honey I'd just like to try.  i only want to try with you as its not appealing to me with anybody else (even if thats a lie...say it lol).  I think it would be so much better than my aneros because it involves you more actively.  Can we try? I'd really like to share this intimate moment with you.

    Something like that should get it.  I want to throw this in for other guys reading this.  Something you need to know about women is that when it comes to sex we need to know that we are your fantasy.  We need to know that it is us doing whatever it is.  Just like sharing Aneros sessions we need to know that you want us their because it is better with us than without us...that way we are not threatened by toys or various sex acts.  Every woman is not like this but the vast majority are.  Yes we have insecurities...it stems from that.   

    Now I hope that helps you can tailor it to fit your personality...but honestly it needs to be said pretty close to that...we hear things differently than men, so things have to be said a tad differently.  Where as I can say honey lets fuck and he's ready...women need to hear, I'd really enjoy it if I could make sweet love to you...I'll make it more than pleasurable for both of us.  See how thats different???
  • mdad
    Posts: 139
    @devajones: Haha after all the fetishes and kinks I unleashed on her over the weekend, pegging may have been the most tame, and the only one that seemed easy...
  • xtimedt69xtimedt69
    Posts: 574
    @mdad so did she unleash any on you?
  • rookrook
    Posts: 1,699
    I can't help with the entire picture since we are only at the 'sawing' stage where my gloved wife runs a dildo in and out of my rectum by hand rather than by harness.

    What I get:
      -- A degree of physical and emotional expression that I cannot fully provide during a solo session with either an Aneros or a dildo.
      -- A "sawing" that is in-sync with her interpretation of my feelings/emotions, breathing, vocalizations and body responses.
      -- Her being in control of the pace of my build to orgasm and pushing me beyond the point where I might quit, either voluntarily; or, involuntarily due to body spasm. 

    What I want and don't get:
      -- Axial alignment of our bodies and faces.  (or her breasts symmetrically falling/pressing on my back.)
      -- Her being 'hands free' to grasp my body around my rib cage, exercising further physical control or stimulating both of my nipples, ears etc.

    With her in a harness, you can have it all!
      -- 
  • mdad
    Posts: 139
    xtimedt69 said:

    @mdad so did she unleash any on you?



    No. Mostly it was me teaching her all the things we COULD do. She's never really explored herself or her deepest desires yet. But she's already coming out of her shell. She asked me to find some female friendly porn for her. That's a first. She feels bad because her teenage daughter has more porn experience than her. I mean, what's a responsible parent to do? She's decided she needs to explore it and remove the stigma from her mind, and stay ahead of her daughter.

    I did unleash some bombs on her though beyond anal sex and pegging. Fantasies of FFM and MMF and MMFF. Role playing. Risk taking. She has been fairly receptive to EVERYTHING. I'm a little stunned. In fact, after talking about my fantasies, she has been so aroused that we have had sex five days in a row. That hasn't happened since our honeymoon.

    I'm hoping I unleashed a secret hidden nympho fiend...
  • devajones
    Posts: 148
    @mdad I think this goes to prove my point that not enough relationships are having those vital sexual conversations. If they are they are not having them enough...if couples would just talk they could solve a lot of problems or misunderstandings.

    @rook HOT STUFF....especially the what you want and dont get bit. Its hard not to read that over and over....
  • xtimedt69xtimedt69
    Posts: 574
    @rook in the don't get section .... our alignment along with the slow stroking is what puts me in a trance. To see her and touch her as she moves is delightful. Then she will take her fingernails and lightly run them from my shoulders and down over my chest and belly then grasp me. It is a wonderful thing.

    @mdad we discuss things all the time, I do most of the discussing and then she does the doing. I wish she would give me something back, but I think men just have a wider variety in their devious heads. But the talking makes everything else better.
  • Canacan
    Posts: 478
    @rook Ohoh... That's hot. You write it well. So good memories.
    Holding her in my arms while she was fuucking me is a great memory. And her hands on my hips... God I need to forget that woman.
  • cj187
    Posts: 68
    Thanks for the advice @devajones, things have been a bit neglected in the bedroom department for most of the year, due to different factors. I guess it's like a flowering a way in that you need to water it and pay attention to it.

    I think building back up the levels of intimacy is the most important issue to address. Then once that base has been re-established we can build on it and I can bring this back up. My problem has been that we acknowledge there's an issue but don't know how to fix it.

    That said we are going "shopping" this afternoon
  • xtimedt69xtimedt69
    Posts: 574
    @cj187 so glad you are working to build up the intimacy again, wish you a wonderful journey.

    How did the shopping trip go?
  • devajones
    Posts: 148
    @cj187 YAAYYY shopping women LOVE that lol. I totally agree with you.  If the intimacy factor is not up (you dont have to be nymphos, but you do have to have a good baseline) then you should work on that first.  Great plan, you're a smart man.  Your analogy is a great one.  Good luck I wish you all the best.

    @Canacan I know the feeling...I'll pass you the memory wiping device when I get done with it. LOL
  • xtimedt69xtimedt69
    Posts: 574
    @cj187 how did the shopping trip go?
  • mdad
    Posts: 139
    OK, good news and bad news. The good news is my wife pegged me the other night for the first time. The bad news is that it was... meh. Grrrr. I don't think my prostate was in the mood to fully enjoy it. I find that in my normal sessions that sometimes I can't get anything started internally, and forcing it doesn't help. So I'm going to try to have her do it again another time when things are more ripe.

    I actually enjoyed the position I was in more than the pegging itself. I wrapped my legs around her just like she does to me, and that was a huge turn on for both of us. We also tried doggy style. But for the most part, it was an unsuccessful venture on the prostate front. But a huge hit on the "fun" front.
  • impimp
    Posts: 87
    Ain't fun the whole point?
  • this has been a very interesting and informative thread! A month ago, before Aneros, would have never ever even wanted to discuss this subject. It has been a fun 90 days, and the horizons seem to expand weekly now, so this too one day may happen!

    Adult porn, x-art and Hegre-art. My girlfriend and I enjoy watching the Hegre-art massage videos, we are both learning a lot from them!

    My girlfriend is so turned on by all the new buttons she's found to touch, poke and tease now! Much more fun than the "one hit wonder" before Aneros and the rewiring!

    Question, once you've taught your anus to relax, do you find the Anero devices have a harder time staying in during your sessions? My Progasm is starting to do that now, when before I didn't have that problem.
  • mdad
    Posts: 139
    @mostinteresting1

    Kind of off topic, but no. my devices generally stay inserted. The only one I've ever pushed out accidentally was my Progasm. It's big, and I suspect easier to squeeze out. My Helix Syn and Eupho have never slipped out once fully in.
  • mdad said:

    @mostinteresting1


    Kind of off topic, but no. my devices generally stay inserted. The only one I've ever pushed out accidentally was my Progasm. It's big, and I suspect easier to squeeze out. My Helix Syn and Eupho have never slipped out once fully in.


    Yep, sorry about that. Back to pegging!...........
  • devajones
    Posts: 148
    Well I'm glad that it didnt hurt, and that you two were able to at least try it.  Let us know how it goes from here on out.  Hope things are a bit better the next time.
  • Canacan
    Posts: 478
    mdad said:

    OK, good news and bad news. The good news is my wife pegged me the other night for the first time. The bad news is that it was... meh. Grrrr. I don't think my prostate was in the mood to fully enjoy it. I find that in my normal sessions that sometimes I can't get anything started internally, and forcing it doesn't help. So I'm going to try to have her do it again another time when things are more ripe.


    I actually enjoyed the position I was in more than the pegging itself. I wrapped my legs around her just like she does to me, and that was a huge turn on for both of us. We also tried doggy style. But for the most part, it was an unsuccessful venture on the prostate front. But a huge hit on the "fun" front.


    You expected too much (at least for a first try). The fun and the turn on are the point, not the prostate orgasm. Also pegging can get you the most outrageous superT. Don't rush to far away goals. Enjoy this most intimate and sexy time with your wife. Just like most sex is, pegging is all about turn-ons and pleasure, orgasm is just an occasional side effect. Don't mistake the forest for the trees.
  • xtimedt69xtimedt69
    Posts: 574
    @mdad Did it not just feel good her doing it all on it's own? I go into like a trance the second she is in.

    then I you cum just as she is passing my prostate .... WHEW! She did it by accident the second time, then I figured out how to signal her with my body language.

    Then if she keeps moving slightly during, I get a 45 second to minute orgasm. A giant big one with waves of contractions afterward, then my prostate is humming for 1-2 hours afterward.
  • Takes me a while to get spanking clean for a pegging. Usually 2-3 enemas to clean out so I can relax knowing I'm clean and enjoy her thrusting in me, we use a lot of astroglide in one session. Hours later still have gas from being pumped so much
  • xtimedt69xtimedt69
    Posts: 574
    @muscleman65 I too am very self conscious about being very clean. It is strange, when she does it I don't get the "air" however on the two times I did it solo, I did get air trapped. I really don't care for it solo, her doing it is a whole nuther ballgame. Afterward I feel awesome and my Prostate is buzzing.
  • XTIMEDT69 FEEL AWESOME FOR HOURS TOO AFTER SHE PEGS ME. WHAT A STRONG ORGASM. GOT SUCH  PROSTATE BUZZ AND EUPHORIC HIGH. sHE SMEARS MY CUM ON THE STRAPON FOR ME TO SUCK CLEAN
  • xtimedt69xtimedt69
    Posts: 574
    @muscleman65 It is a high, but I haven't gone quite as far as you yet.  :bz
  • mdad
    Posts: 139
    xtimedt69 said:

    @mdad Did it not just feel good her doing it all on it's own? I go into like a trance the second she is in.




    It just felt... "in" (and "out"). Nothing more. My prostate just wasn't into it. I need to try it again when my prostate is more sensitive. I guess I expected more. But we will definitely try again at a later date! In fact, my prostate is pretty wiry today...
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,776
    @muscleman65

    I'd like to gently suggest that doing full enemas is not very good for your health as you are killing the natural flora in your colon (large intestine) that help you be regular and making your body rely on enemas to move your bowels. All you really need to do is clean out rectum and anus as that is the area that will be pegged.

    As far as the gas afterwards, I'm betting that has a lot to do with the lube you are using. Astroglide has glycerin in it. And the western medical use for glycerin suppositories is to relieve occasional constipation. Not everyone seems to react to it, but a lot here have including myself. Astroglide was also the lube I used when I first started using Aneros. The symptoms you'll get from it are a very urgent need to move your bowels which will end any Aneros or pegging session, in addition to gas, abdominal pains, and a painful burning sensation on the inner anal sphincter. Try using a glycerin and paraben free water based lube, or an oil based lube.
  • Stay quite regular and have never been able to clean good enough without an enema. I use to get an enema 1-2 times a week as a teenager, suppose to help prevent colon cancer which my grandfather died from.Plus my mom always gave us an enema before a doctors visit .
    Pegging I tried just a bulb enema but partner uses a 9 or 10 dildo. After 10 minutes things have got groos so in preparation always do 2-3 before. Bulb enema usualy work s for a progasm ride but thats about it. Alternative for astroglide we sometimes use crisco
  • I'm very curious about pegging, and tried to suggest it to my gf... Alas with no real response.  She's aware of my love for ass play, but doesn't go further than analingus or external stimulation.  Though she would play with a toy once inserted.
    I try not to pressure her when asking if there's something bothering her about going further, but I literally get no response.

    Reading this thread I realised that it can be hard to talk about this, and I really love how everybody here supports and respects each other while having a meaningful and open discussion.

    So thank you, for showing me that it is possible to have a real, mature discussion about passions, kinks and fantasies.
  • devajones
    Posts: 148
    @HermitKatwan thanks for realizing what this forum is all about.  As far as talking to your girlfriend...there is a way to go about it I'm sure you will get your wish.  Any questions you'd like to bounce off the resident lady yours truly about how to approach her feel free to ask.  Good luck on your pegging journey.
  • @HermitKatwan
    You should get your GF a copy of The Ultimate Guide To Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration For Men And Their Partners. Very few women are accepting and/or understanding of a man having any type of anal play (IMO). I had an ex GF suggest pegging. I went out and bought the necessary equipment, and when it was time for the peggery... She could not go through with it. Such is life! At least your GF performs analingus on you. Be thankful for that. Best of luck to you.
  • My girlfriend loves to peg me, and I love it as well. I did a really gradual build up to asking her. It started one day we were showering together, and we took turns rubbing each other's bodies in soap. She rubbed soap on my butt, and gently on my butthole. It felt amazing, and her warm, loving touch made me want to submit to her. I played it cool, though, and continued the sensual shower

    Later that day, I mentioned to her that it felt really good when she touched my butthole in the shower, and I asked her if she could use her fingers on me. I think she thought it was a bit strange, but she also seemed intrigued. She fingered me a few times over the course of some weeks, and every time it made her really wet, and I noticed it was turning her more and more on, and she was often the one to initiate it

    I remember feeling very vulnerable when I asked her if we could buy a strap-on to use on me. My pulse shot through the roof as I was asking, and I think she could tell how nervous I was. She actually seemed rather turned on by it. She said yes in a loving and reassuring way, so we went and bought a strap-on

    When she pegs me, she gets clitoral orgasms due to friction, and often has a vibrating egg inserted. Having a woman orgasm from penetrating my ass is incredible! It makes me really happy and turned on. We're usually tired after a good session, and we fall asleep holding each other in a romantic afterglow
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,776
    @muscleman65

    I get it. Everyones body is different. I just wanted to put that general warning out there for people. But ultimately you have to do what works for you. I'd also like to suggest that if you increase your fiber intake either by lots of fruits and vegetables, or a fiber supplement like psyllium husk powder, you might not have to do such an extensive cleaning prior to anal play of any sort. I often times don't even need to clean out at all.

    Crisco falls under oil based lubes. But because it is hydrogenated, is not considered very healthy for you. You'd be better off trying 100% unrefined, extra virgin, cold pressed coconut oil, or 100% unrefined shea butter. I like the Now Foods/Solutions brand for shea butter.
  • mdad said:

    xtimedt69 said:

    @mdad Did it not just feel good her doing it all on it's own? I go into like a trance the second she is in.




    It just felt... "in" (and "out"). Nothing more. My prostate just wasn't into it. I need to try it again when my prostate is more sensitive. I guess I expected more. But we will definitely try again at a later date! In fact, my prostate is pretty wiry today...

    @mdad
    There is more to it than just the prostate. The sensation around the anus and perinium is amazing. Don't just concentrate on the prostate. Let yourself feel the other sensitive areas back there. Like when my wife's skin touches me when she thrusts. Wow!! :D



  • I would love to try pegging someday. Alas I'm a single male for the time being. I've tried my hand at some solo dildo play - suction cup to a dresser drawer. Its been fun, taught me some great things about proper relaxation during inserting. Its also made me aware of how much improper insertion can potentially hurt and therefore made me more aware of what it must feel like for a woman trying anal when she's apprehensive.

    I think every guy who wants to do anal with his woman should take a dildo to himself first and learn what it feels like. It has the potential to feel amazing but like many things it can take time to adjust to the new sensations. Once you learn what that's like, you'll be much more qualified to try it on her; provided she's ok with it too. 
  • devajones
    Posts: 148
    @musicmaker86 keep saying things like that and you wont be single for long...I think that is where so many people go wrong with anal.  I think men would find if they ask women about their anal apprehension they would find lots of them are/were curious about it but had a jackass in their past try to ram his dick inside her causing pain and thus negative feelings towards anything anal.  I think you are totally right in your thought process.  Not to worry you'll get pegged someday and love it.
  • devajones said:

    @musicmaker86 keep saying things like that and you wont be single for long...I think that is where so many people go wrong with anal.  I think men would find if they ask women about their anal apprehension they would find lots of them are/were curious about it but had a jackass in their past try to ram his dick inside her causing pain and thus negative feelings towards anything anal.  I think you are totally right in your thought process.  Not to worry you'll get pegged someday and love it.



    Haha, thanks @devajones - I look forward to it. 
  • I have a question for those of you involved in pegging: 

    When you are being pegged, how intensely do you like to be penetrated (at the most)? Do you like being penetrated very vigorously and hard? 

    What about the penetration itself?
    Do you like having it fully inserted, fully pulled out, then fully reinserted again? 
  • Canacan
    Posts: 478

    I have a question for those of you involved in pegging: 


    When you are being pegged, how intensely do you like to be penetrated (at the most)? Do you like being penetrated very vigorously and hard? 

    What about the penetration itself?
    Do you like having it fully inserted, fully pulled out, then fully reinserted again? 


    Interesting questions. My memory is somehow fuzzy about it, but I am pretty sure the point was not there. I mean : all of this can be ok, but the main source of pleasure is deeper and less identifiable.

    Sometimes intensity would feel good for a moment then not at all. Maybe the penetration would be somehow more consistent in the taste for deep but I am not even sure.

    The main thing is very much about the "she is moving inside me". Both a thought, a sensation and a kink. Like you can't tell the sensation from the thought. Which one induces the other. Like the sensation was actually an irrepressible thought, shaping for real in the depths of your guts. It is some taking over deep inside. Some kind of powerlessness you have partake in. Whatever you do can influence what you feel but you mostly want and do increase the take over, your powerless pleasure getting deeper and more intense. Not from the intensity of the action. From it following your mind and body's desires as they arise and transform.

    Oh my god, I think I could summon orgasms just from the memory/imagination of it. LOL
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,776
    @musicmaker86



    I think every guy who wants to do anal with his woman should take a dildo to himself first and learn what it feels like. It has the potential to feel amazing but like many things it can take time to adjust to the new sensations. Once you learn what that's like, you'll be much more qualified to try it on her; provided she's ok with it too. 



    You're not the first male who discovered this thought process from their own anal adventure. I too and many others also realized this. I came to the understanding that in the past I was one of those males that was completely clueless about giving anal to my girlfriends. Live and learn.


    I have a question for those of you involved in pegging: 


    When you are being pegged, how intensely do you like to be penetrated (at the most)? Do you like being penetrated very vigorously and hard? 

    What about the penetration itself?
    Do you like having it fully inserted, fully pulled out, then fully reinserted again? 



    I can only answer your questions from the perspective of solo dildoing. Intensity varies, I like everything from very short quick thrusts, to very slow longer thrusts, to rather vigorous and fast and long strokes. It seems to depend on the day what works for me and what feels good.

    In terms of penetration, just after insertion I like pushing it in as far as it will go. Then typically I've found that most thrusting does not seem to happen as deep probably using half to three quarters of the length of the dildo. But sometimes I like the really deep thrusts. Rarely do I like completely pulling it out and pushing it back in. The head on my dildo is a good deal wider than the shaft, and I have to be so very relaxed to enjoy that sensation, otherwise it is painful. Most of the time the dildo stays in me with the ridges of the head not coming out any further then bumping into my inner anal sphincter from the inside.
  • Very Cool. All great advice. Thanks! 

    One other question - how often would you say you partake in such activities? If you're single, how often do you use your dildo, if you're in a relationship - how often do you like to be pegged (or use a dildo also)? 

    Does it depend on your mood, or do you find that you need to give your anus a rest once in a while? 
  • Get pegged 1-2 times a month. A lot of time fro prep to assure a clean pegging. Dildo on the shower wall 1-2 times weekly. Always take my time. Younger guys probably take a lot more, I know I did in college
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,776
    @musicmaker86

    I'm single. I use it a few times a month, some times more or less. It does depend on my mood and how aroused I am. But I also find that it helps with Aneros sessions so it encourages me to use it more.
  • devajones
    Posts: 148
    For my husband it depends on his mood really.  Sometimes he is really hungry for it and wants it multiple times that week, sometimes not at all for a couple of weeks.  Same for me, so I'd just say listen to your body.  If any pain give it a rest.  Simple as pie.
  • I love getting pegged but sometimes all a lone I rely on one of my many dildos. I sometimes will be using my progasm and get so aroused I need something bigger. I get pegged regularly but haven't had anal sex in decades, nothing like my college and high school years. But when getting pegged I fantasize it's a friends big cock against my prostate
  • devajones said:

    For my husband it depends on his mood really.  Sometimes he is really hungry for it and wants it multiple times that week, sometimes not at all for a couple of weeks.  Same for me, so I'd just say listen to your body.  If any pain give it a rest.  Simple as pie.



    I find I'm like that as well. I'll have a brief stint where I'll want to use the Aneros or some device every night for a week or two. Then I'll go a week or two without wanting to at all. I had a pretty great session last night. Used multiple different toys and finally satiated my cravings. My butt is a little tender today, but its a good kind of sore feeling.