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Just Relax....On this forum!
  • G-ForceG-Force
    Posts: 68
    I know I am not the only one on this forum that is disappointed with the direction most discussions have gone lately.  

    I do not really need help with my journey any longer, but still enjoy reading what others have to say.

    I got some great advice here over the years, but my fear is that others may not in the future.  Do we need a separate section on the aneros website just for arguing?  If I was new to this forum, I would probably not last long.  I would need to dig through too much negativity and bickering. This would be time consuming and fruitless for someone trying to get HELP.

    I have remained fairly quiet here and know that by speaking my mind, I may have opened myself up to criticism.  I am not trying to make a "dig" at anyone or tell others what to say.  Maybe we should all take a deep breath and RELAX,  just like we recommend people to do during a session.

    Does anyone have any ideas on how we can correct the snowballing effect of negativity here??  If anyone is mad or offended with what I have to say, then they are the ones who need to relax the most.  I truly am just trying to get things back on track so others can benefit from all the good advice that is offered here.  I don't have the answers, and that is why I am asking for help, before it is too late and this forum is gone!

    PLEASE post your ideas!
  • BigGlansDCBigGlansDC
    Posts: 867
    Thank you for your timely advice, @G-Force.

    As regards my Aneros sessions, since the beginning of this year, I have been focusing on relaxation and calm breathing. It really has helped me along in my sessions. I have found that my Aneros journey is unique to myself, as it should be with other guys who use the Aneros.

    I use the Forum for information and for advice on my Aneros questions.

    Thom./BigGlansDC
  • BunkBunk
    Posts: 168
    As online forums go, this one ain't that bad for trolls. But, you know, when things get more popular then the chance of attracting dodgy characters increases linearly (maybe exponentially). Better to ignor the ones that crave attention and concentrate on why this forum exists, to exchange information and experiences about this fantastic ability we men have and to spread the word.
    Well I'm off to stick a bit of plastic up my arse, all's well with the world.
  • euphemisticeuphemistic
    Posts: 890
    The aneros team is now aware of the problems in the forum and are monitoring it more closely. I don't know what they'll do except close topics and split off hijacked discussions. If enough people complain and give them examples of abuse, the will have a reason for more action. As it is, chat is almost dead because they didn't monitor it. I suggest one of the aneros team be a moderator during prime times in chat and read the forum daily to identify problems. The lack of civility seems to be spreading to more people mostly because it's easy to provoke a argument or demean someone but it's harder to relax and ignore it. That's why I no longer go in the chat room and many others don't as well. I'm sorry to see this trend spreading to the forum now. At this point I think it's up to the aneros team to take action. I've learned a lot about myself since leaving chat. See my blogs.
  • ineverknewineverknew
    Posts: 1,173
    Thanks @G-force for saying what needs to be said and agree with you completely.  My advice would be to just ignore also for whatever good it does.  Some of these people thrive on reeling us into ridiculous arguements just so they can feel important or something idiotic.  My life has is too busy and much more important things to do then waste my time arguing.  
  • inhopeinhope
    Posts: 1,255
    There needs to be two sections in this forum, one where people are starting out and needing expert advice and one where people post their success stories and have discussions about advanced techniques etc.

    I say this because its bad to read success stories of those with their ridiculous ott posts about how amazing such and such a session was which then results in frustration when that experience is not mirrored by another user, it leads to arguments. It also leads to people using their devices improperly or not understanding the journey properly, they might expect it to work straight away or even within weeks where it might take months or years for results....
  • darwindarwin
    Posts: 1,304
    Hopefully support's cordoning off off-topic or antagonistic posts will help.

    The *only* way to deal with non-productive posts is:
      1) don't create them yourself
      2) ignore them when others create them.

    As long as somebody steps up to answer a poor post with another poor post then the pattern will repeat.

    Darwin
  • awired50awired50
    Posts: 132
    darwin said:

    Hopefully support's cordoning off off-topic or antagonistic posts will help.


    The *only* way to deal with non-productive posts is:
      1) don't create them yourself
      2) ignore them when others create them.

    As long as somebody steps up to answer a poor post with another poor post then the pattern will repeat.

    Darwin


    What he said :)
  • PommiePommie
    Posts: 1,008
    @darwin,
    HEAR HEAR!
  • ineverknewineverknew
    Posts: 1,173
    @darwin, well put good sir  :)
  • euphemisticeuphemistic
    Posts: 890
    I agree Darwin. It's easier to step back and take a breath when someone is trying to provoke me here in the forum. In chat, with the real time dynamic, emotions can rule. Here we have the space to cool off and decide how we'll answer or if we want to answer a provocation. The temptation is to answer in kind which is what the provocateurs are wanting for their own reasons. But when we give them what they want this way, we just demean ourselves. It's a matter of self preservation for me.
  • inhopeinhope
    Posts: 1,255
    No one agree with me? There needs to be a separation in the forums.... It will help so much more than the current design
  • ineverknewineverknew
    Posts: 1,173
    @inhope, i agree with you in theory but nothing will stop them from looking at the other discussions, maybe to their own detriment.  I have seen some forums set up kinda like that though.  Its not a bad idea, maybe a better guide for newer users to lead them into the correct information.
  • G-ForceG-Force
    Posts: 68
    Great input everyone!  There is hope!
    I also like how @darwin summed everything up.  Simplicity is usually best.  Very sound advice for us all to follow!  
  • inhopeinhope
    Posts: 1,255
    i feel like there should be a progress section, just for those in rewiring phase, to ask questions relating to starting out , have it moderated well and make sure things don't get out of hand. It would serve the aneros company better and possibly generate more of a 'buzz' for those trying it for the first time.

    My lack of knowledge back in 2005 when i started this whole thing is what led me to damage my prostate in the first place. Something i am very annoyed at even to this day. had that forum section existed... who knows.
  • HopefulMMOerHopefulMMOer
    Posts: 390
    Evening all, long time and all that... I'm reacquainting myself with the boards as I've been off for a bit, and this is one of the posts I read... I guess my question is about to be answered as I catch up on other posts, but have things been that awkward lately? It's been a couple + months granted, but would hate for things around these parts to mimic how personal and shitty other boards can get.
  • isvaraisvara
    Posts: 918
    @rumel, thank for the above post and quote. The Forum is unique and very important to our journey.
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,423
    G-Force said:
    I know I am not the only one on this forum that is disappointed with the direction most discussions have gone lately. ...Do we need a separate section on the aneros website just for arguing?
    I certainly hope we do NOT see Aneros Administrators establish any kind of section for petty arguing, it is such a waste of time and accomplishes nothing except to inflate the egos of those bickering. If people want to argue in cyberspace there are plenty of other forums to do so but there is no need to do so HERE. If people want to argue and stoop to using ad hominem attacks let them establish their own forum to do so but there is no need to do so HERE. IMHO creating separate sections (whether it be for arguers, complainers, newbies, veteran users, women or whomever/whatever) would only make things more divisive and polarizing not to mention more difficult to monitor/moderate.
    G-Force said:
    I have remained fairly quiet here and know that by speaking my mind, I may have opened myself up to criticism.  I am not trying to make a "dig" at anyone or tell others what to say.  Maybe we should all take a deep breath and RELAX,  just like we recommend people to do during a session.

    I agree with you, taking a few deep breaths before authoring any post retorts is a wiser path. I doubt you are likely to be criticized for stating truth.
    G-Force said:
    Does anyone have any ideas on how we can correct the snowballing effect of negativity here??

    I think @darwin made some excellent points in his post above about the membership not contributing to the problem. I believe it is WE, the membership, who have the responsibility for maintaining the tone of this Forum. While Aneros Team can certainly delete posts/threads and ban members from posting, they are loathe to do so, but will, if sufficiently provoked. The following is from a very rare post by Aneros Support for a thread they announced was going to be deleted. I kept a copy because it very eloquently expressed their philosophy for the Forum. (emphasis added by me)

    "Hello Aneros Forum Members,
     From its humble beginnings as a guestbook, the Aneros Forum was created as a place to simply discuss all things related to the Aneros and prostate massage. The greatest thing about the Forum is the community - the Aneros Forum has always been an arena for intelligent, creative, and open-minded discussion supported by the most amazing user community around.

    Helixer has raised some questions that we'll attempt to clear up here.

    We will start by saying that one of the posts he refers to was mistakenly deleted instead of having just having an explicit pornographic picture removed. The words have been restored, but picture has been removed. His was not singled out. There are other forums for these types of pictures, but we've never encouraged them to be added here.

    Now onto to the topic of removed threads/posts. There are very few reasons why a post or thread would be removed.

    The first reason is a mention/promotion of a patent-infringing product or company that produce patent-infringing products. Members will see discussions about products like the Prostate Cradle and Rude Boy scattered throughout the forum. The Prostate Cradle is an original product built from a completely idea from ours. The Rude Boy blurs the line a bit but their intention was to create something new. We welcome this kind of competition.

    So what is the big deal about "thou company that shall not be named?" "TCTSNBN" is a company that derived, not created, most of their products from ours. We believe they have stolen our ideas, and we are currently in litigation to legally establish this. We simply will not allow any posts, even negative ones, that will promote a company that creates infringing products. In fact, we've removed many posts that have stated how terrible their products are, and there have been plenty of those. They, and other companies like them, will not receive publicity of any kind on this forum.

    We have never claimed to hold a monopoly on prostate massage. Of course prostate massage has been around long before we came around. We simply are exercising our rights as the patent owners of an original to protect the considerable time and dollars we spent to create something wholly original. The idea for the Aneros did not come out of a Cracker Jack box.

    When our litigation is complete, we'll be happy to share the history and some details about the case. Our relationship with them goes back quite a ways. Until then, the policy is that discussions of patent-infringing products are not allowed on the forum. We hope you understand.

    Beyond this first reason when it comes to thread removal we'll go on a case-by-case basis. We've never had to do it until now. If we are going to set the criteria, a thread would have to have a combination of these qualities - off-topic, personal - politically motivated, extremely hostile in tone and verbiage, or one which espouses an opinion that is so egregiously opposed to our core values that it should be removed. At Aneros we are a very tolerant bunch of folks, so it would have to be something very particular.

    The thread that was recently removed fell into these categories, and unfortunately that was the recent poll about the values of intellectual property rights. First the thread was completely off-topic and not directly related to the Aneros or prostate massage. There are any number of places (personal blog, other forums) for the author to state these beliefs, not here. Aside from being off-topic it exhorted the virtues of piracy, suggesting that people obtain the HypnAerosession this way. In light of our current litigation coupled with the fact that we know there was a huge time and energy spent by many of our community members to create the HypnAerosession, though it was the first time we've had to do it in the 8 years the forum has been around, it was an easy decision to remove this thread. Rumel and 5 other of our forum members, in their spare time, busted their asses (pun intended) to create this recording for the benefit of the wider community. They are not going to wake up as millionaires (unless they already are) from the profits of the HypnAerosession, so aside from the kind words for their efforts, please buy the CD or digital download and don't get a pirated version. They deserve to be compensated for their original, creative work. The rant about the merits of intellectual property rights undermines the creative spirit that we operate by.

    To address a couple of other points made in this thread directly:

    Helixer, if you are interested in other manufacturers, go to Google, go to Bing, and go visit their websites. And if it wasn't clear before, I hope you understand our position now on patent-infringing products.

    Mr7G, we appreciate the casino analogy, but the forum has never been about house rules. Our litigation has forced us to add a caveat, but the tenets and spirit of the forum will always be the same - openness, tolerance, respect, intelligence, sharing.

    Waverider, you will find many posts in the forum that could be deemed by others to be "commercially threatening" to us. We have always welcomed any comments, positive or negative about our products and company. We have never censored these and never will. Our long-time members can vouch that this is the case. We've never removed them. Why? We believe in our products. Remember, we're the only manufacturer that offers any type of guarantee on their products.

    And actually, unless the post contains patent-infringing content, it would be difficult for us to find something "commercially threatening." We are very secure in what we do. And for the most part, we see very few vindictive posts (search on rayvega). Most of the posts that are negative are from frustrated users who aren't seeing results as quick as they'd like or expect.

    We didn't create the forum as a marketing tool to sell more products. Of course we would love nothing more than to have everyone say the Aneros is the greatest thing since sliced bread, but this is not why we created the forum.
    The forum was created so that people have an avenue to share, seek advice and help each other out. It's as simple as that. It's particularly a great place for men who *are* getting frustrated because they have the benefit of having thousands of our customers' experiences that their disposal. We know for many men the journey to the Super-O can be a long one (just ask Love_Is). Every journey is unique, and it could be one tidbit that a new user need that could trigger something to get him on the right path.

    The forum has organically grown into what we feel is the most unique forum of its kind. It's a place for potential customers to ask questions about the products. It's a place for new users to ask more experienced users for advice of all kind. It's a place for experienced users to discuss advanced topics. It's a place where folks can safely express themselves on topics that are very personal in nature. It's a unique, open place, and going around censoring and deleting posts and threads that didn't say "Aneros is the greatest" wouldn't make the forum feel very open.

    If you have been following this thread, we appreciate the time you spent in reading this post. We will keep this thread up for a day and then will be removing it. Thanks.

    Aneros Support"


    image Good Vibes to You ! image
  • PommiePommie
    Posts: 1,008
    @rumel,
    Thank you so much for putting this up.
    I have just read it for the first time, so I must have missed it the first time round when it was up for just a day.
    It strikes me as being particularly apt just now and I note that a couple of recent threads have been closed.
    I hope a couple of other contributors will take careful note of its content and think carefully before pushing the "Post Comment" button in future.
  • isvaraisvara
    Posts: 918
    "The forum was created so that people have an avenue to share, seek advice and help each other out. It's as simple as that."
    Bravo @rumel. Thank you. The forum has been so helpful to me on my journey.
  • inhopeinhope
    Posts: 1,255
    Exactly, even if sharing is that of anger or frustration. I would love to see a person that has been at this for 10 years with no results keep a calm and composed attitude.

    I think people should be allowed to vent! where else would they be able to do this? nowhere!
  • Quite a few forum participants become miffed, if one disagrees with them. Some members will tell other members to disregard certain ones posts (@darwin and @Trei have done this to me). Now! Where is the civility in that? How is that maintaining relaxation on the forum? Some of the ones calling for peace, will throw a stone and hide their hands. People raised hell about a link that @Linum posted awhile back. He took it down (if I remember correctly), and left the Forum. I don't see what people found disagreeable about it. It was a lot more informative than the weed threads. Interesting is it not? The weeders' rancor becomes apparent when they are questioned. They become defensive for no reason. Certain topics can only be discussed with full agreement. If any naysayers post, all Hades breaks loose! It seems the majority of the posters want a pat on the bum, maybe a reach around, a magnum of champagne, a box of chocolates, and a dozen roses. Oh well. Just don't disagree with them.
  • euphemisticeuphemistic
    Posts: 890
    Potsquirter, I saw what you wrote before the aneros team deleted the offensive part and closed the weed topic. It was NOT closed because you disagreed with someone. Take some responsibility.
  • CanacanCanacan
    Posts: 632
    Thanks @rumel & @Aneros_Team... Great message.

    And thanks @G-Force for his suggestion of deep breath and relax... I like this solution of trying to welcome what comes just as we try with the massager sessions.