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Advice for a Newbie - Contractions
  • FiredrakeFiredrake
    Posts: 18
    Hi there :)

    So my Aneros Helix arrived yesterday and I quickly set about having as session. I went to the loo earlier in the day and had a hot shower before I started. I haven't done much in the way of anal play, but I found getting the Helix inserted quite easy and after a couple of minutes there was no discomfort. After a few minutes I decided to start trying some contractions. This is where I fell down! What exactly should I be contracting? I've looked through this forum and on the wiki, but I can't find anywhere how you contract you anus and/or rectum. With regards to that area, I've often heard that you want to contract the muscles that stop you from peeing - is this correct in this case? Am I right in thinking that you ought to hold these contractions for up to 20 seconds? During my session I enjoyed some of the sensations I felt, in particular I got the feeling of the massager 'falling out' which I think I'm right in saying is a good sign. So yes, it was fun but I don't actually know HOW to do these contractions?

  • euphemisticeuphemistic
    Posts: 810
    Contract your anal muscles and notice how it feels. Contract your PC muscle, the one that stops peeing, and notice how it feels. Read the section on Contractions here http://wiki.malegspot.com/index.php?title=Getting_Started#Contraction_exercises. Also look up kegel exercises. Also read the Newbie Checklist following the section. It's probably more important to just let your body get used to the device inside you and letting it learn how to get pleasure from it. Keep enjoying those sensations.
  • I personally find if I start trying to do any muscle contractions too soon, I don't fully relax enough for them to be effective... I like starting out by just relaxing for awhile and then with hip motions that are similar to humping. You can simulate this by lying on your back, with your knees slightly raised and your feet flat on the bed, put a pillow between your legs, and VERY slowly hump it (raise your hips to the pillow) and visualize you are making love to a women. This motion should very slowly move the tip of the Helix against your prostate. Once you are relaxed, you can start the contractions....
  • FiredrakeFiredrake
    Posts: 18
    @MostInteresting1

    Thanks for your reply, I may give that a go.

    @euphemistic

    I understand that the two contractions are different, but HOW do I do each one? That's what I find lacking in the wiki.
  • This site is pretty good in explaining it...


    Another thing that helps is to push out slightly, the so called anal pucker, it helps relax and open you up further. Do it just slightly and if you are truly relaxed, the Helix will start moving on its own and you are using the exercises and hip motions more to guide it, than to move it. If you are forcing it to move, you are not relaxed (and/or don't have enough lube), because your muscles are still clamped down on it.
  • JaxsunJaxsun
    Posts: 70
    I employ gentle contractions only after the pleasure sensations begin on their own through various relaxation techniques. When I feel the need to use contractions to get feelings started it usually means the session may not progress well.
  • PommiePommie
    Posts: 1,008
    @Firedrake,
    @euphemistic has given you some excellent advice which I believe you should follow before you go any further.

    I note that at no point do you mention lubrication of either the Helix or the place where you insert it. 

    Lubrication of both is a most important first step, before you insert the device. The type of lubricant you employ needs some consideration since that will be governed by how long you intend the session to last. If the session is relatively short, (say up to an hour), you might get away with a water-based lube available from any supermarket. On the other hand, if you intend a session to last longer, you might need to consider something a bit more durable, such as shea butter or Vaseline.
  • slimjmslimjm
    Posts: 535
    Lie on your back, knees up and relaxed slightly apart, for 10 minutes doing absolutely nothing but breathing slowly and deeply.  Then gently "pull in" with your bladder sphincter muscles like you were trying to cut off urine flow holding this contraction about 20 seconds, then relaxing completely about 40 seconds.  Repeat this about 20 to 30 times which will make for about a half hour session and while doing these contractions lightly tickle your nipples and focus on any involuntary muscle contractions that you might feel occurring in your anus.  The first feelings you may have there are quivering wormy feelings of your anal sphincter.

    It takes practice and patience, sometimes for weeks and months, but gradually you should feel involuntary contractions of your rectum where it feels like it is squeezing down on your Aneros and sucking it inward.  This is the contraction that produces the dry or prostate or "super" orgasm.  At first you'll feel it as a warm feeling growing deep in your pelvis and over time, that is practicing at sessions like this, it will grow to where it flows out onto your penis and with continued practice will feel like a burning hot orgasm as hard as you've ever wanted it to come but nothing will come out.

    The weeks and possibly months it takes for your body to learn this response is what's called "the journey" but above all else don't get impatient waiting for the next stage in the process to come.  Savor each new experience you feel as you go and it will come easier.
  • euphemisticeuphemistic
    Posts: 810
    Slimjm, after a year I'm getting the wormy sensations and small contractions consistently so it may take time. FireDrake, I like your username. Are you a fire breathing dragon?
  • Theme_GasmTheme_Gasm
    Posts: 752
    @slimjm --- Nicely worded and to the point!

    TG
  • slimjmslimjm
    Posts: 535
    And I might add for any newbies reading here that during "training" I'd suggest only about 3 sessions a week and at least in my case I found it useful to go not much further than a half hour to 45 minutes a session.  I found also I had the most progress with sessions "in between" sex with my wife, that is, anywhere from one day after traditional ejaculation until I got so desirous of sex that I was being distracted by the urge to have traditional orgasm and ejaculation.

    Also, although I notice from the forum that guys of all ages enjoy this, I still believe it's a little easier for us mid-aged to older married guys to learn how to super-O.  I say mid-aged to older because we've grown past the inability, at least I know I had in my younger years, to keep from wanting penile stimulation and then we also get used to getting our colonoscopies and going to the urologist etc. for our digital prostate exams and learn to get over the embarrassed feeling about working with our anus;  and I say married because we've usually learned how to control and even defer our traditional orgasms to please our spouses and some of that helps with the discipline needed during the journey. 
  • Theme_GasmTheme_Gasm
    Posts: 752

    @slimjm --- I started my journey at 51 and, although I had been made aware of the wonders of my prostate in my mid 20's by a knowledgeable Navy medic, it was only until I found the tremendous amount of information on the Aneros website that I realized how to approach the entire experience and how much patience was needed! So far, I've only found a fraction of the quantity of information on the web as I've found here! That's what made the biggest difference in my case!

    TG
  • slimjm said:

    And I might add for any newbies reading here that during "training" I'd suggest only about 3 sessions a week and at least in my case I found it useful to go not much further than a half hour to 45 minutes a session.  I found also I had the most progress with sessions "in between" sex with my wife, that is, anywhere from one day after traditional ejaculation until I got so desirous of sex that I was being distracted by the urge to have traditional orgasm and ejaculation.


    Also, although I notice from the forum that guys of all ages enjoy this, I still believe it's a little easier for us mid-aged to older married guys to learn how to super-O.  I say mid-aged to older because we've grown past the inability, at least I know I had in my younger years, to keep from wanting penile stimulation and then we also get used to getting our colonoscopies and going to the urologist etc. for our digital prostate exams and learn to get over the embarrassed feeling about working with our anus;  and I say married because we've usually learned how to control and even defer our traditional orgasms to please our spouses and some of that helps with the discipline needed during the journey. 


    Well said!

    Seems like the younger guys sole purpose is to 'get off' so they lack patience these devices require
  • I was lucky starting with my aneros toys, because, without knowing what I had, I had learned dry orgasms with nipple stimulation.  At that time, I would give myself several (what I thought of as female) orgasms, and finish up with my penis and an ejaculation.  By that time, I had a conditioned reflex to jacking, and I could ejaculate by jacking off the forefinger of my left hand. 
  • FiredrakeFiredrake
    Posts: 18
    Hi guys,

    Thanks for all the replies, sorry I've taken so long to post again. I'm not just looking to 'get off', but I would like to know whether I'm starting to head in the right direction. Today is going to be another session to I'll see what happens.

    @euphemistic, thanks, of course I'm a dragon :P It's from a book by Cornelia Funke and I've just always liked the name.

    Another question. Recently, when I get aroused, I feel a weird bubbly/tingling sensation in my crotch, and I think it has become more common since starting to use the Aneros. Is this anything?

    EDIT: Also, is it a bad idea to use butt plugs/anal dildos on non-Aneros days?
  • I feel a weird bubbly/tingling sensation in my crotch

    This could be your prostate is awaking which is good progress. I do not think playing with other anal devices is a bad thing on your off days...the main thing is to leave your penis alone until you want to end your session
  • FiredrakeFiredrake
    Posts: 18
    Hmmm...maybe. But this isn't with the aneros in, just occasionally when I get erections.
  • Theme_GasmTheme_Gasm
    Posts: 752
    @Firedrake --- An awakened prostate is exactly what it sounds like! You are in the process of awakening a bundle of nerves, identical to the female G-Spot, that, once activated, can routinely remind you of its presence!

    It may seem unusual, but it's become a very nice part of my daily life!

    For example, I can take just a few moments, sitting at my desk at work, close my eyes, deep breath, and whoosh, a nice tingle, or wave, flowing through me that's pleasant! Not "out of control", but very pleasant!

    With an erection, the pleasant feelings can be enhanced as well, which is quite awesome!

    Take the experience one step at a time and don't worry about what I or anyone else gets compared to your own, because your body and mind will reveal your journey to you with time and patience! Love it all and enjoy!

    TG
  • Okay, so just to make sure I'm getting this right:

    Tingling/Bubbling in the crotch - good sign. I'm now worried that I imagined it though!

    Butt plugs (and masturbation) - okay on off days? ie not going to hinder the 'journey'?

    Leave penis alone when using the aneros.

    Has anyone here had success with not doing anything when the device is in? On the wiki it says that some guys simply do nothing, and the guy in the video below says that contractions can be optional. Also, his contractions seem to be very brief, not the 20 seconds slimjm talked about.

    http://www.xtube.com/watch.php?v=HCL5D-G541-#.U9zx_WMl8qU

    wiki - 'Some men find using the above noted contraction exercises to awaken
    their prostate to be ineffective. A different, counterintuitive
    approach, which has worked for some men, is to take an entirely passive
    role and literally do nothing. After the Aneros is
    inserted and you are in a comfortable position in a dark room with no
    distractions, lay still. If you know how to breathe from your belly,
    (diaphragm breathing) do that, but regular breathing is fine, too.
    Consciously, let go of all muscle tension, relax, just let yourself go
    limp. It may feel like the Aneros wants to slip out, don't fret and
    don't try to hold it in, it won’t fall out. Just lay there for 30
    minutes. If you don’t feel anything, quit the session and don’t be
    concerned, this process takes time, be patient. Practice this technique
    every day for at least three days. The objective is to let the Aneros
    signal to you by tingling and/or small pleasure waves. When that
    happens, don’t jump in with contractions or thrusting your hips.
    Continue to relax and remain passive, the sensations may continue to
    build all by themselves, even reaching explosive orgasmic levels.
    '


  • Theme_GasmTheme_Gasm
    Posts: 752
    Yes, the do nothing approach works for some, just like the active approach works for others! You want to try both, explore, and see what you get, because nobody can say that any single method works for everybody!

    I don't think you imagined the tingling/bubbling sensation, because that's been a common feeling mentioned by others, including myself!

    I believe the do nothing approach is valuable because it helps you to refocus your mind on the prostate with less distraction! As the sensations start to grow, you'll learn how to enhance them with a combination of mild contractions, and mental focus! It is hard to believe sometimes the sensations we can get, so I understand your skepticism! Believe it though...it's quite real!

    TG
  • The benefit of the do nothing approach is relaxation, which is key to the whole deal. Doing the muscle contractions cause me to tense up, which is the opposite of what you want down there. I have success with just using my hips to move the device instead of my pc and sphincter muscles. Those muscles stay relaxed, while my hips gentle do the work...
  • Theme_GasmTheme_Gasm
    Posts: 752

    The benefit of the do nothing approach is relaxation, which is key to the whole deal. Doing the muscle contractions cause me to tense up, which is the opposite of what you want down there. I have success with just using my hips to move the device instead of my pc and sphincter muscles. Those muscles stay relaxed, while my hips gentle do the work...


    Absolutely!!! Great points!

    TG
  • Thanks for the replies :)

    So would you literally just lie on your back and relax? Legs flat on the ground/bed?
  • Firedrake said:

    Thanks for the replies :)

    So would you literally just lie on your back and relax? Legs flat on the ground/bed?



    Legs can be flat, or slightly raised, legs can be held together, or spread out. Don't be afraid to try different positions to experience different feelings. As you begin to relax, you should feel yourself open up "down there" and it is this opening that allows the devices to move and stimulate you hands free. You can also push out slightly, like a anus lip pucker, which also helps to open you up and relax your muscles.. If you are relaxed, with this lip pucker, you should actually feel the device settle deeper inside you, and it in and of itself is an amazing feeling...
  • Theme_GasmTheme_Gasm
    Posts: 752
    Firedrake said:

    Thanks for the replies :)

    So would you literally just lie on your back and relax? Legs flat on the ground/bed?


    Yes, and whatever position/s you choose, you should feel comfortable enough to be able to relax...and relax some more...as deeply as you can! My best sessions are after a good nights rest, not so much after a day at work, at the end of the day!

    TG
  • This is a bit off-topic but I hope you guys don't mind. So the a couple of days ago I tried putting a couple of penis-shaped
    things up my bum, using an anal lubricant. Once I was a bit more
    relaxed, I also tried putting my hand in, although I didn't get my
    entire hand in few a few fingers. I was careful to stop if anything was more than
    uncomfortable, ie if I was actually in pain, but do you think that I
    will have done any damage to myself? I've torn my anus a little a couple
    of times before, but it has healed and I haven't had any problems. How
    soon would I know if I'd done some damage? I feel fine and going to the loo doesn't hurt or anything, and no blood that I've seen.
  • Theme_GasmTheme_Gasm
    Posts: 752
    So, since the prostate is somewhat protected, outside of the intestines, I would say it would take some fairly rough play to bruise it. From my understanding, that is more likely to occur with a toy being manually manipulated and used too hard on the anal canal and near the prostate! Since our bodies are designed to signal pain as an indicator that damage is likely or imminent, if you stopped before you sensed too much pain, there's a good chance you're ok! Not being there, and not being a physician, I'm certainly not qualified to give any definitive answer. You should always seek professional advice if you're concerned you've done any damage!

    Aneros was designed to be hands-free! And I've not heard of anyone being injured when they follow the instructions for its use!

    On the positive side, once your prostate is awakened, it's not unusual to feel your prostate becoming more sensitive and thus your awareness of its presence more pronounced!

    I too experimented with toys a little bit, and it was just too easy to feel like I hit something too hard, so I didn't use toys very much!

    However, I've not felt any significant long term discomfort while using any of my Aneros! I've felt awesome sensations leading up to prostate and anal orgasms, and gained the ability to deeply relax my mind and body! And, for most men, that's a very significant accomplishment!

    I also feel like I've changed my "state of being" and have become a better person through my experiences during this journey!

    TG
  • After three years of play I'm still learning and still struggling to describe exactly what it takes to make the Aneros work. Every session I have is fun and winds up with an orgasm but they're all different and they all lead to learning something new.

    The kind of contraction you need to get the Aneros working is only a partial one. It's sort of a cross between trying to stop the flow of urine while you're peeing, and half-heartedly trying to hold in a fart. It's not squeezing your butt cheeks together, that's for sure.

    It takes time and practice to be able to hold that partial contraction for a long period of time because it involves muscles we rarely try to control -- muscles that, for most of us, probably aren't in the best shape to begin with.

    For me, when things are really happening, it feels more like my prostate is moving against the Aneros than it feels like the Aneros is moving against my prostate.
  • I'm still a little bit confused about the amount of time you're meant to hold contractions. On some pages I've read only for a few seconds, on others up to 30-40 seconds - which of these is 'more' correct?

    In the video 'aneros ecstasy' (I've linked it below), which basically convinced me to buy an aneros, the guy seems to only hold his contractions for a couple of seconds.

    Also when trying the no contractions method, how long should I give it session-wise, and is listening to music okay?

    http://www.xtube.com/watch.php?v=HCL5D-G541-
  • While you're working on awakening the Prostate, you can use a variation of long and short contractions because what you are working toward is a more sensitive Prostate.

    If it feels good then the duration of each contraction is up to you. If you hold your contractions for too long you'll exhaust yourself before the session is even half finished...so, use gentle contractions, of a few seconds, and do more of them so you don't become tired.

    Many of my contractions when I was starting out were only 1-3 seconds at most, but I did dozens of them in a session because I was trying to relax at the same time!

    That video was what inspired me to buy my first Aneros, and you are correct, his contractions are likely very short because his Prostate is awake and sensitive to slight simulation. My sessions can result in similar responses, bodily reactions and outbursts of pleasure, but often I'll have hours of just pleasure wave after pleasure wave from head to toe with little body movement at all. That state of pleasure is absolutely other worldly...but, it took time and patience, and a persistent attitude. My sessions when I started out were nearly daily for many weeks, and months...so be patient with yourself!

    Listening to music is fine, if it helps with mental focus and physical relaxation. You might try a different position for an entire session just to see what you feel. Session length should be for as long as you're having fun and feeling nice sensations, 30-90 minutes. Once you've awakened your Prostate, your sessions may go much longer because you're having so much fun!

    TG