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How to avoid ejaculation?
  • toolboxtoolbox
    Posts: 15
    Hello Community,

    I read here and there in the forum, but didn't found a discussion talking about how to avoid the ejaculation or erection. In the famous Penis-not thread is said, many people are searching for things like erections and hands-free orgasms. My problem is the opposite.
    Every time, I receive really pleasureable feelings from my anus, the rectal canal is buldging because my penis is filling with blood. I get a very stiff erection, which causes, that most of the anal feelings change into penile located feelings. I can trigger a hands-free ejaculation without problems, but that's not what I want!
    I want to enter a passive state of mind, where I receive pleasure only through feelings located at my prostate. Everytime, when the involuntaries start, my penis is getting hard and destroing everything which build up in the rectum. I cannot really stop it. At some point of arousal I just ejaculate :(

    Is there somebody, who knows that problem? How to get along with this?
  • Relax. Perhaps this is just a part of your rewiring process. As you progress on your journey, this will sort itself out.
  • PommiePommie
    Posts: 1,008
    @toolbox,
    Just try to concentrate on what the Aneros tool is doing. If you have an erection and an ejaculation, just accept that these things happen, be grateful and just move on.

    Have you tried continuing on with your Aneros session even just after an ejaculation?
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,383
    toolbox,
    Your problem is rare but not unheard of. There are several things you can try to avoid unwanted ejaculations.

    First, you can try doing nothing about it, this may only be a phase you are going through. As your rewiring progresses you may simply drop this response as you learn to focus on your prostate sensations more and shift focus away from penile stimulation. Give yourself a month or two to see if it is just a phase and do as @Pommie suggested, focus on the sensations being generated by your Aneros.

    Second, as @Pspotsquirter suggested, relax more fully as your arousal increases. Most men increase muscular tension in the pelvic floor as they approach orgasm which in turn spurs triggering the ejaculatory reflex. By learning to relax those muscles you will avoid/postpone triggering that reflex. There are many techniques for learning to relax available on the internet, take some time to read through some of them, your solution may be as simple as that.

    Third, make sure you are not providing any penile stimulation, even incidental touching by bedding may be triggering the ejaculatory response when you are highly aroused. If some slight touching is still occurring you could try one of those desensitizing cremes to take the edge off.

    Fourth, you may try employing a testicle cuff/ball stretcher (see this thread) to inhibit the action of the cremaster muscles from pulling the testes up into the body. This may also avoid/postpone the tendency to trigger the ejaculatory response.

    Fifth, you may try using a cock ring for an effect similar to the testicle cuff, however, this may tend to also keep your penis erect and highly sensitive.

    Sixth, (and perhaps most extreme) you could try using a chastity device like the CB6000, this will act like a testicle cuff and keep your penis from becoming erect at all.
    image Good Vibes to You ! image
  • toolboxtoolbox
    Posts: 15
    Several tips I could try, thanks for that. I can receive much more pleasure through the toy now as a few months before. I notice to be in a progress. The first thing you said, that it's maybe just a phase, could be true. Would be nice, if the problem solves itself.
    The second thing I have to focus on is the relaxation. I have to admit, I'm not very good in relaxing. Mindnoise and impatience are high.

    Lately I'm doing the sessions doggystyle, which includes the advantage of a free hanging penis, no problem with incidental touching through anything ;)
    What is with learning to edge? Maybe that causes a better control of my ejaculation :-/
  • HellyesHellyes
    Posts: 32
    One of my favorite techniques is to use an exercise ball to avoid penal stimulation.  I am face down in a pushup type position with the ball under my chest.  It allows me to contract my legs and butt and get very strong contractions and movement.  
  • PommiePommie
    Posts: 1,008
    @toolbox,

    Why not give it a try?

    To my mind it's loads of fun, no refractory period and always leaves me on a high.
  • inhopeinhope
    Posts: 982
    I have the same issue! Thought I was the only one....
  • toolboxtoolbox
    Posts: 15
    I'm using a ball stretcher now and provide any penile stimulation. He's totally free. A good! chastity device is too expensive for me. I tried with a cheap one, but it doesn't fits well and could not prevent the ejaculation.
    I practiced some times but I have the feeling that all tips just delay the ejaculation. It's like that:

    I'm concentrating on feelings in my anus. My mind switches and I'm feeling the toy (mostly Progasm) filling my ass, which is very enjoyable. At this time I have to focus just on that rectal feelings, which is hard because of mind noise. I have these short moments, when I'm in the paradigm shift and feel the pleasure only through my anus. I'm far away from penile generated pleasure now.
    This is a good starting position, to build up more. To things can happen:

    1. Sometimes very small involuntaries start to begin. I know little autofuck
      movements and fast shiverings. But to hold that state is hard. I
      subconcious tense my whole body, which causes exhaustion. Sometimes I forget to breathe. If I relax all muscles, I mostly have to begin by zero. Another issue is the mind noise, because I often feel an itch or something, which disturbs my concentration on the involuntarys and the ass. It's like self-pressure, I know, I have to concentrate now and that causes to think of all things, I shouldn't think of at this moment. You understand what I mean?
    2. the anal stimulation is so enjoyable, that my penis gets hard. This also causes a buldging of the rectal canal, so the toy is stucked. At this point, very small stimulation leads to an ejaculation. I try not to harden the PC-muscle as usual by the ejaculation, so at the beginning of the orgasm the cum and an bit of precum just leaks out. Anyway, then the involuntary PC-muscle contractions start. Even if not, the leaking also causes a refractory period, so don't think of a prostate orgasm. It all ends up in a traditional ejaculation.

    However, it's clearly that I have an erection-barrier. Which at least helps to delay the ejaculation is trying to ignore the PC-muscle. PC-muscle always triggers erection and ejaculation so I concentrate on the spincter muscle. My control of this muscle increased obviously! It helps, but it's not enough to solve the problem.

  • twlltintwlltin
    Posts: 587
    Absolutely the thing you must not do is worry about it. Just relax.
  • EhmEhm
    Posts: 117
    Try what Jack Johnston calls 'valley breathing'. I like to imagine the sexual energy moving from my penis to my bellybutton , it's a deep breathing which relaxes but also turbocharges the area you've got your focus on with energy. If you're familiar with the microcosmic orbit you'll feel it move up your spine, down the front fillling your bellybutton with orgasmic energy, but your whole body will start to tingle.
    The only drawback of this method, jerking off too long gives you a sore dick the next day 
    ;))
  • toolboxtoolbox
    Posts: 15
    I have my problems with circulatiing energy in my body. Sorry, it is a bit too abstract for me, to imagine there is something like energy which can be positioned through my mind.
    Sometimes the pleasureable feelings from my anus are expanding through my back and sometimes I feel tingling sensations in my chest, but I can't cause that voluntary. It just happens when my arousal is high enough and my Progasm in a good position.
    I don't know whether the relaxation is the problem. Everyone's session is a bit different and someone needs to be fully relaxed. I'm just getting bored, if I do nothing. I think I actually found good ways to build the pleasure, my problem is just the fu**ing ejaculation everytime.
  • isvaraisvara
    Posts: 823
    @toolbox, that maybe what needs to happen at the moment, often the body has its own agenda for balance and harmony (health). "It too shall pass" so as said above enjoy and play. Half you luck! Your problem would be my blessing.
  • Wondering if this is a problem with regular intercourse sex? If premature ejaculation is a problem in regular sex, then it is probably just a carry over from that.
  • ThrusterThruster
    Posts: 52
    @toolbox - Perhaps the rapid swelling and pressure you feel is what's overstimulating your ejaculatory response sooner than the prostatic response can fully develop and take charge.  A lesser volume tool in your toolbox might be a thing to try, but since I'm just a noob, you might want to get advice from the elders here (particularly @rumel) before forking over the cash.  Even if it doesn't help now, getting a Eupho Syn would not be a waste, since you'll surely put it to good use later as you get more skilled.

    I was also thinking that maybe you might be using the Progasm itself a little too aggresively.  If you could slow down the whole process a lot and not be anxious about producing any particular effects, maybe everyting would just naturally fall into place in a more proper order.

    Ditto to @isvara - this "problem" would be my blessing, since things seem to be going a bit slow for me.  We're dealing with chi energy here, so direct antagonism doesn't work.  By trying to fight it, you give it more intensity (whatever "it" is in this context), which only worsens the situation.  Instead, try resonating with it, and it will find a more happy place for you.  By trying to squelch the energy, you may inadvertently be funnelling it into the penis.  Give up the fight, leave all channels open, and the energy will likely flow elsewhere throughout your body.

    Finally, if you do ejaculate, just enjoy it, then go do something productive while refractory.  Everything will still be there and waiting for you next time.  I've found that my libido is heightened whenever I've completed a pending task, so don't try to force youself into playing if you have troublesome work hanging over your head.  Even so, balance is important, too.  As Kubrick said, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy!"
  • RSilvaRSilva
    Posts: 16
    The same happens to me.

    In general when I start to get pleasure I get a hard on, and with the strong PC contractions that happen I think it makes me get more focused in penis pleasure than prostate's.

    When things get more intense (not in all sessions), I find it really hard to avoid ejaculation. I'm hard and eventually the feelings make the contract the muscles and soon or later I ejaculate.

    I do have premature ejaculation. I'm currently trying some penis desensitivers to check if it has any effect on the aneros sessions.
    However, with aneros I take a long long time before (main) pleasure starts to come, sometimes hours.

    I have aneros for 2 years, and I feel this may be blocking my progress.
  • Perhaps you should jack off to orgasm (several times), until the low fuel light for your balls is on; then start your Aneros session.
  • toolboxtoolbox
    Posts: 15
    @RSilva - Yeah, your description is very applicable. But I don't have premature ejaculation.
    @Pspotsquirter - I don't know exactly what you mean with "until the low fuel light for your balls is on".

    Thruster said:

    @toolbox - Perhaps the rapid swelling and pressure you feel is what's overstimulating your ejaculatory response sooner than the prostatic response can fully develop and take charge.  A lesser volume tool in your toolbox might be a thing to try [...]"



    Yeah. At some point the penile sensations grow bigger than the prostate
    sensations, just through the swelling.
    I already own smaller devices,
    for example the Helix Classic. In The last sessions I only used my Progasm
    because I like his feeling and the fact, that it's perineum tab is not
    gliding away. I also noticed in my last session the perineum tab is a
    bit too far away from the shaft. I could intensify feelings through
    pressure it a bit down, nearer to my anus. I will try to prepare this
    for my next session. Wasn't there an extra thread or blog for modifiing
    the toys? Cannot find it at the moment.
    Well, on top of that, I will
    give my Helix a new try in my next session, but I can imagine from the
    past I had the same problem with it. Maybe my new sphincter contraction skills effect something new, who knows...
  • Theme_GasmTheme_Gasm
    Posts: 742
    @toolbox --- I would avoid ejaculation through masturbation if at all possible!

    The drain of energy and refractory period can reduce your ability to have prostate orgasms. And, by masturbating while using your Aneros, you could be rewiring yourself in a way that is counterproductive to reaching higher levels of prostate orgasms.

    If possible, I would find a way to cool down your penile stimulation when you sense it's getting too intense, and once you've done so, start again.

    Eventually, your body will start to disassociate penile and prostate stimulation...that IS your goal to successful incredible multiple male prostate orgasms!

    TG
  • toolboxtoolbox
    Posts: 15

    @toolbox --- I would avoid ejaculation through masturbation if at all possible!



    I'm doing that already :) All orgasms I had in the last 3 months were caused by prostate stimulation only. I also take at least 2 days between my sessions (trieing to do all right). While a session my penis is totally untouched, not even through contact with the bed or something. The only thing I do is penetrating my penis sometimes between my session, but only near to the point of no return, never over it. That increases my arousal for the next session.

    What's with the modification of the perineum tab on the Helix and Progasm. Is there any advice for doing it? Believe I saw an extra thread or blog on this issue, but cannot find it anymore.
  • Theme_GasmTheme_Gasm
    Posts: 742
    I wouldn't modify the Aneros at all...that's my recommendation.

    TG
  • @toolbox

    The good and true word is being spoken by Theme_Gasm. Altering the Aneros in any way, will impede its proper functioning.
  • isvaraisvara
    Posts: 823
    @toolbox, agree with the previous two posts. However I did alter the position of the PTab on my Helix. The reason was it applied no pressure at all on my perineum in its correct position so it skittered around. It was okay if I pushed it right in but that is not its designed position. I have no idea "why me". FWIW I had to make a jig as it is quite complicated to get the right angles and distances from the stem. It had to be heated to 170C. It works very well now and last night gave me lots of mini contractions - which I cannot define as yet - am going to need help clarifying what they are..
    I seriously suggest don't touch the PTab if it applies pressure as designed.
  • toolboxtoolbox
    Posts: 15
    congratulations, why not modifing the toy if something is wrong? The P-tab is not at the right position for me. I just have to reduce the angle of the P-Tab a bit for making it comming nearer to the shaft and my sweet spot. But that's not the topic here, maybe I open a new thread for that...
  • sublevel1sublevel1
    Posts: 12
    i see nothing wrong with a good orgasm, penile, hand-free, jerking off, prostate, nipple, its always fun
    focus on what you have right now, and let it get better with time, i`m not an expert, but everytime i use my helix, its always better.....so enjoy !