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Need Help With Desensitisation Problem
  • Hi!

    I'm new here, but I got a big problem. It's a long and perhaps weird text, but I feel that I have to give some background information:

    Around 1 1/2 years ago I first got to know about prostate massage. My regular penile orgasms were pretty much ok, but the idea of having much longer an perhaps even stronger orgasms got me hooked right away. As the social conditioning of perceiving anal play in males as "gay" was quite strong in me, I hesitated to buy a proper massage tool for a long time. And as stupid as it may sound, this did not stop me from trying it with other auxiliary tools such as my fingers or toothbrushes. I even read the wiki, but purchasing an actual tool specifically made for that purpose was a psychological leap I could not yet make.
    At first, the feelings were overwhelming even though I only achieved extremely strong and longer lasting penile orgasms. I even once achieved a multiple dry orgasm using a toothbrush in a specific angle, but as you can guess, replicating such an event with unprecise tools such as toothbrushes proved extremely difficult.  I was still not ready to buy a proper tool, but this one experience really hooked me and I spent many hours trying to replicate it. And I am talking 5-6 hours per session with multiple sessions a week at times. I also tried external stimulation of the perineum, which also lead to good feelings, but never to another dry orgasm.
    Then, one night roughly one year ago, during external stimulation sitting on a chair with some round object (I think it was a used up deodorant roller) pressing strongly against the perineum, I felt my penis going numb. I immediately stopped but was too ashamed to go see a doctor. The numbness subsided within the next week and I did not feel any impairment.

    Fast forward one year:
    10 days ago I still had no proper massage tool, but wasted hours trying to reach some kind of sensation akin to dry or super o anyway. That's when I said fuck it all, if I can't stop trying it I may as well go
    ahead and buy the real thing to reach my goal and save me from wasting my life lying on the bed for too many hours.
    When I first inserted the aneros, it felt incredible and over the next three days, I got to a point where I felt like I was standing on the edge, even better than my aneros-less training.

    After about 2 hours I decided that I would not nail it during that session and finished with my first penile orgasm with aneros inserted.
    But despite the incredible feelings during the past 3 days and with the aneros inserted (the lead up felt awesome too), the penile orgasm was extremely weak.
    The same happened the day after. And then it hit me like a truck: my penile orgasms have been quite unsatisfactory for some time and I just brushed it aside. My prostate also felt much more sensitive to voluntary/manual pushing movements when I first began (strangely enough, in my relaxed do-nothing-state with and without aneros inserted, I can now achieve much better feelings than before). I also realized that the long hours I spent trying to attain some kind of dry orgasm while watching porn have caused some level of porn addiction in me, I can even watch regular porn without getting hard and sometimes have to literally fight the urge to browse youporn in order to find the "perfect" clip.
    Before, I would get a boner even from looking at a nice girl in the metro (fortunately, I still have no ED and naked girls in real life still do the job just fine). In the past I would get horny and then masturbate. Now I don't get horny but still have some kind of lust for masturbation. With a very weak penile orgasm, this obviously can only leave me unsatisfied and frustrated. It also takes a lot longer for me to reach climax than it used to. But I'd guess that may be associated with the lack of horniness.

    I have now put any prostate stimulation on complete halt, cut my porn consumption drastically (I don't believe in radical I/O as it does not help instil self-discipline) and limit masturbation in general to a couple of times a week. On top of that I will buy some high quality tribulus terrestris in my supplement store as fellow lifters told me that this stuff really pushed their libido and quality of orgasm. That's all I can do by myself for now.

    My main fear is that I may have caused permanent damage to sensitive tissue and/or nerves.
    And I was hoping that some of you on here may have some experience, ideas or suggestions on my problem.
    I am not trying to avoid seeing a doctor in time (if necessary), but for now any thought from this experienced community would be deeply appreciated!

  • ineverknewineverknew
    Posts: 1,209
    no idea on the possible nerve issue but as for quitting porn this site has lots of resources to help.  I encourage you to check it out and look around.  I also recommend watching the six part video series which explains porn induced ED.
    Hope that helps.
  • mdadmdad
    Posts: 139
    The odds of you doing any sort of damage to yourself from a deodorant roller are basically zero. Going numb after 5-6 hours of porn watching, and sitting on a chair using implements to try to replicate past experiences would be enough to make ANYONE numb. Heck, my leg falls asleep if I drive more than 25 minutes. My hand falls asleep if I lay on my bed and hold my phone up to watch it. My BUTT falls asleep in my office chair. Point is, there are plenty of legitimate reasons for the area to go numb after 5-6 hours, and most of them are quite normal.

    I can even watch regular porn without getting hard and sometimes have to literally fight the urge to browse youporn in order to find the "perfect" clip.

    Orgasm and pleasure occur mostly in the BRAIN. It is quite possible you've desensitized yourself a bit visually, and need to restore some balance to regain your prior edge. At this point, your worried about it, frustrated about it, and impatient about it, and therefore, NOTHING is going to happen for you the way you want it to.

    You probably need to withdraw from the porn watching a bit, and rediscover what makes you tick the old fashioned way. My bet is it only takes a little bit of time to normalize. But now that you know what watching porn does to you, you probably need to ease off of it and realize that the best pleasures don't necessarily require a computer monitor.

    With that said, watching porn on a screen looking for a perfect clip is a passive activity. You've conditioned your brain not to get revved up too soon while you find what you are looking for; therefore, it doesn't get revved up at all. Your body is used to waiting for you to tell it to start, and therefore looking at things doesn't do it any more; your body has learned your habits. Again, I think this will go away quickly. But not if you keep searching for the perfect clips.

    It sounds like you have plenty to look forward to with your Aneros device. As far as your penile orgasm strength, it could still be an emotional issue. Sometimes my penis goes completely flaccid if I'm focusing on my prostate. For the most part, it seems to be one or the other for me. Has there been any other physical change this year?
  • TreiTrei
    Posts: 246
    mdad said:

    The odds of you doing any sort of damage to yourself from a deodorant roller are basically zero.

    How do you figure? I have to disagree with your statement. You can damage yourself with anything that is tangible on this earth. Telling him that he is 100% ok is very dangerous as you have not examined him nor observed his action and he may have a very real problem.

    @Scrawny My orgasms will weaken to extremely menial levels if I abstain from having them for a while, have/are you abstaining from penile orgasm? The more I have them the stronger they get, otherwise it feels like a weak p~wave. As well, if you don't figure out the cause to your decreased sensitivity in the penile region I suggest that you consult a doctor just to be safe.

    My personal take on your problem is that it is likely to be purely mental, but damage of some sort isn't completely ruled out either.
  • hi squrawny. Reading your detailed description I thought like others that your porn addiction and manual massage with a toothbrush may have desensitized you. If you used the brush end, you may have irritated your prostate, IDK. my guess is that that will heal if you don't use the toothbrush. You might let it rest a while before using the aneros too. It sounded to me like your prostate and perineum nerves have been somewhat rewired from your extensive anal play. If so, your body may have shifted focus there rather than your penis for pleasure. That's good. Stay away from other objects and use the aneros only. You've got a head start IMO. Take a break from the porn too or use your imagination to arouse yourself more. Even still pictures and stories will get your mind generating more personal porn that will exercise your imagination. Good luck and keep us informed.
  • It is known that bicycle riders can develop erectile dysfunction from the repeated/prolonged trauma on their perineum.  That said, unless you spent hours upon hours aggressively impacting the perineum and/or the back wall of the prostate thru the rectum, it would be very unlikely that any permanent neurologic damage has been done to those very sensitive nerves and nerve centers.  So like most of those above, I would reassure you, but at the same time would make the effort to deal with the porn addiction/desensitization and would give your nether parts "time off".  If your work requires prolonged sitting, I would break up those periods of time, so the perineum is allowed to be free of pressure. Perhaps, doing Kegel exercises might be a good side step, as well.  Wishing you a rapid return to function, and perhaps also, use some moderation in any future attempts for prostate stimulation.  On a personal note to you SMP, my very positive  experience with the Helix Syn began after I had read about the benefits of prostate massage after I had been noticing reduced sexual pleasure and semi-ED.  I also first turned to improvisation but quickly abandoned the toothbrush route and thankfully found the Aneros site by way of a prostate massage site.