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Rookie needs help. I'm apparently too tight.
  • Quick background:
    During the holiday, I started to research into anal play and even started engaging in some on a solo basis. Over the course of a couple of weeks, I managed to be able to easily get a finger in fairly easily using a hybrid water/silicone lube. The experience wasn't great, I was mostly feeling pressure over pleasure. Given the odd angle of using your hand to your anus, it wasn't easy or very relaxing. I found the prostate though and practiced finger movement and in/out techniques.
    Knowing I would be upgrading to something such as a toy, I knew I needed to try two fingers. Unfortunately, this never worked out after a couple of tries. I figured it was likely the fact that my fingers aren't attached and were sliding a bit while trying to insert. I don't know. I just couldn't get then both in there.
    Whatever the case, I went ahead and purchased the Aneros Helix .Syn. I also bought a rather slick water based only lube for it since I can't use the hybrid water/silicone.
    I've only tried once using the Helix Syn but I just couldn't get it in. I lubed up quite a bit. I tried the lying on your side position as well as on by back with knees to chest. I even tried pushing out a bit like your supposed to but all I did was block the Helix from getting inside. I was probably just pushing it back out really. I probably wasn't 100% relaxed but even so, I figure I could make a little more progress than I did.
    Bottom line is, my anus just seems to be too tight. Tearing now becomes a bigger concern. I'm not forcing anything and went slow. I supposed it could be the lube but I couldn't even get two fingers in with the silicone hybrid stuff and my two fingers together are narrower then the Helix.

    any advice?

  • ineverknewineverknew
    Posts: 1,209
    one thing you could as your trying to work it in there, make sure you pull it out and re-lube the helix a few times.  Sometimes as you insert it, your anus will strip the lube off of the device.  I would also apply some lube to your finger and work into your anus a few times before trying the helix, get it good and lubed up.  Relaxation is the key and dont worry if it takes some time, you dont want to force it too much.  I wouldnt worry too much about tearing as the device is well rounded, and if lubed correctly that shouldnt happen, but the key is that it shouldnt be painful.  Maybe some slight discomfort at first but never painful.  If you have some other types of lubes, you could try those also.  I never had much luck with any water based lubes.  Lightly coating the device with vaseline can help.
  • I did some of the things you described. Inserting a bit, re lubing and also using my finger to lube the inside too. Has anyone else experienced this before? I'm curious to know if there are some folks who just flat out could never get it to go inside no matter how many times.
    Or maybe just about everyone starts off like this and it takes more time.
  • ClenchyClenchy
    Posts: 224
    I started off like that I think.
    You need to learn how to relax down there. It takes practice and patience. It's important to work the lube in. Hitting an area that isn't lubed is going to stop insertion. Take your time. If you hit resistance, back off, take the aneros completely out and let your anus relax. Then try again. Do this a few times, and you'll eventually become comfortable enough with the experience to trust it more each time. You'll also get a better sense for when you're relaxing or not. And it'll spread the lube to where it needs to be.
    The mental trap is trying to insert it all in one go, thinking it was so hard to get it in 1 inch, that you'll lose that hard won progress if you take it out - you won't. It'll be easy to get right back where you were before.
  • @avatar72...Your experience is not unusual at all! We all grew up with the understanding that it was a "one way" path...but, with the knowledge that greater pleasures awaited, we were patient and persistent, and soon enough realized the value of it all! Hang in there, and you too will see the value of your patience!
    I tried it this morning and....It worked.
    First of all, I used the water/silicone based lube although I'm not supposed to. I'll try to find something else.

    So this morning I was a little more relaxed since this would be my second attempt and there was less anxiety. However, I spent 15-20 minutes and the thing just wouldn't go in. I think I recall reading somewhere that when I'm on my side I should curve my back and stick out the rear a little more, maybe the angle needed help.
    Well when I did that, it should went right in. After that it was much easier to relax. But I'll tell you, it felt like it almost wasn't in there. Anus too tight and rectum too big? LOL
    Anyway, I practiced some exercises in different positions for about 50 minutes. It felt nice but I'm nowhere where I need to be. I didn't feel much pulsing during or after the exercises.
    It says to practice 1-2 times a week. I look forward to my next session but it seems so far away.

    Thanks everyone for the replies.

  • ineverknewineverknew
    Posts: 1,209
    @avatar72, its a journey, and a well worth it one.  Give it some time and eventually things will happen.
  • @avatar72

    Indeed, the journey is part of the excitement! When you relax, and while you are laying still, gentle and often slight feelings will likely begin to appear. Don't discount these sensations, even if they appear in other parts of your body. Much of the strong pleasure waves I feel today started out as small sensations that grew into much greater and wonderful feelings today. But it can take time. If you feel rushed, stop...if you're impatient, stop...wait for the time when you can relax fully, then see what happens!
  • Have you ever had a DRE by your doctor? Maybe you are not old enough to have had one yet