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Aneros From A Gay Perspective
  • BigOluverBigOluver
    Posts: 255
    I am a openly gay young male and have had a aneros product for 8 months now. I still consider my self a newbie when it comes to prostate pleasure but not to anal play. I have toys but none that have treated me or made me feel the way that aneros have. Even though I'm learning It's nice I can help my straight/bi/curios/confused men out about the feelings they are feeling. Anal is easy for me but for some men here that is a real hang up and the secrecy really blocks them from evening indulging. But I have seen so many men retract those statements after they get a glimpse of something and right post like "It Really Happen" or I'm a Believer Now". Orientation doesn't really get spoke about. Does anal make you gay, does indulging in it make you want the real thing? Who really knows but that is your decision for you to make. If a toy has made you that relax to want to try the real thing then that's great. But that is not the toy stirring you in that direction. That is all you. To close after learning of my dad having a aneros product we talk so much more and the things he has shared being a married man with four grown kids has me look at things so much different and I think it may help a few guys here.

     My dad is a versatile bi sexual black older male. He has been in exclusive relations with men and with women. Now he has messed with a man since his kids have been grown and him and my mom have been married for 34 years. But with the aneros toys he feels as if his bisexual itch is being scratched. He said to me that days he does fantasize about being with a man again. But he said that while he was with a woman he was with her only. If a man came along he will break it completely off with the woman then begin with the guy. I never understood bisexuality til I had that talk with him. He still claims himself as bi even though he has not been physical with guy in over 30 years. So the feeling guys that you all are feeling of wanting something else is natural. The prostate is awaken and rewired and is up for a more enticing subject. Maybe a man or a dildo toy. But only you can come up with that.  I would love to know if you could be openly bi would you and for all the married men here if your wives gave you permission to have a affair with men instead of women knowing you have aneros toy would you take her up on it.
  • I know that if my spouse, a man, were to give me permission to have an affair with a woman, I wouldn't take him up on that simply because I'm not sexually attracted to women, he would never give me any such permission, and falling in love with someone else might jeopardize our relationship such that it is. Some relationships are very open if both partners agree to have sex with others, I know a lot of gay men who have that kind of arrangement.

    On the other hand I wish my spouse would give me permission to see other men just to play with sexually. Unfortunately I tend to fall in love easily. I doubt many wives would give their husbands permission to have an affair if they felt that it compromised their relationship, whether with a man or a woman.

    BigOluver, do you have a committed loving relationship with a man? If you do, would you want him to have an affair with a woman? A man?

    I knew a bisexual man who had a marriage with a woman and lived with her and his male partner.Neither the wife nor the male partner were bisexual so the bisexual guy was getting twice as much sex as his partners. I never understood how that worked but it did. What was Woody Allen's joke about bisexuals having twice the chance of...

    That being said, I would like to know how other gay and bisexual men include the aneros in their dating or with their partner. How has aneros massage affected your love life, BigOluver?
  • l have never been able to put a label on my sexuality, I suppose it's what society calls bisexual.  I don't tend to have any type of romantic/emotional feelings towards men but have had experiences with another man and can say I really did enjoy them.  It never felt like making love per say, but more like a friendship/bonding type of situation.  I do find myself being attracted to both sexes, enjoying sex with both, I've just never had the feeling of being in love with a man.  I'm comfortable with it, and not opposed, it just never has seemed to happen.

    I've never shared an Aneros session with another guy.  With my girlfriends in the past, they have always supported my use of Aneros, and often incorporate it into our sexual play.  I absolutely love the feeling of having Progasm inserted during intercourse.  It really intensifies the experience, and I feel that it even improves my performance giving me a HUGE boost of stamina.

    With my experiences with guys, I generally always preferred the top position.  Being penetrated was not always appealing to me.  Once we got going I found it well, rather boring, and basically just waiting for it to be over.  I just never got any kind of pleasure being the bottom, and it would kind of kill my mood.

    Since using Aneros, I will say that has changed.  I know enjoy Anal stimulation quite a bit.  Learning the Aneros has awakened me to pleasure center that I previously was completely unaware of.  I have not done it with a man anally since being a faithful Aneros user as until recently I was in a committed relationship with a woman for the last five years.

    I have had open relationships in the past, and they are great in theory.  Personally, I do not believe we are intended to be completely monogamous creatures.  However an open relationship requires an incredible amount of trust and honesty that many people are not capable of.  In a perfect world I would have both a female and male partner under the same roof.  But, I would admit I'd feel insanely jealous if they were to do anything sexual with one another if I were to not be included.  And that would just be arrogant and selfish on my part.

    I will say the beauty of the Aneros is how it enhances a man's sexual relationship with himself.  Jerking off is great and all, but it's not same.  During J/O a man in generally visualizing scenarios, focused on porn, rethinking sexual occurrences of the past, etc.  An Aneros session is quite different.  The sexual feeling are intensified greatly, and it really puts you in your own mind as well as giving a great connection to your own body.  It is my opinion that any man who works with Aneros becomes a better lover
  • Great feed back guys. To answer your question @euphemistic I haven't had a sexual partner in over a year but with my aneros and some of my other toys I really don't need a man in my bed. I have had some of the greatest orgasms by my self then I have had with any of my other boyfriends. I cum harder and my ass really receives the toys good. Also since I am a bottom and my partner liked to be penetrated or aneros up the butt I would bring a guy in to supply the need for my partner. Like @bryeinabox said they would only be able to play while i'm around. But I think it would make the sex that more passionate and higher.
  • Yeah, BigOluver, we're all spoiled now. Yet I miss feeling a man inside me, thrusting into my prostate and cumming inside me. Alas the cumming part is not wise in this age of AIDS. Unfortunately not all my sexual adventures were perfect either.

    I'm a bottom too but do like to switch. There's something so intimate about having a man inside, especially when he's on top of me and facing me. I've wanted to write about this so baldly but didn't feel like other men wanted to hear about it so thank you BigO and Bryeinabox.

    So BigO, when you say that you got tops for your partner, do you mean you all had sex? Did you and/or your partner both use aneros? I've seen couples who are both tops looking for a bottom and have been tempted. Boston is supposed to have a lot of bottoms for some reason, I don't know why.

    Anyway bisexuality is a tough issue for me and maybe for the men who identify that way. I almost never feel sexual tension for a woman but if I did and also felt attraction to men, my life would be much more complicated I think. Your father seems to have figured it out for himself, BigO.

    Brye, you say that you've been in an open relationship, was it too difficult to maintain? Right now I have enough trouble with one spouse! I think you judge yourself too harshly concerning jealousy. It's too hard for us humans to handle given our limited life span.

    I fall in love too easily but it often doesn't work out well. I get obsessed and possessive which scares away any rational man. I was encouraged to fall in love with people in that psychotherapy cult that I was in for 22 years. It was used for group cohesion. No sex was allowed though (aw) except for the leader of the cult. Anyway I found it easy to fall in love but I also got more of a handle on what it does to me.

    Brye, I think some men get sexually stimulated by anal sex and others just don't. What about pegging with your partner? I know I get very stimulated by anal sex and now I know why. BigO, do you?

    I'm having fun now with aneros but I'm going to need human sexual contact soon. Of course all bets are off if I start having super O s. Is it really so gratifying?
  • @euphemistic - Pardon the sarcastic tone...uh, yeah...incredibly gratifying!!!!!! Honestly, the very deep sense of sexual release can be so intense and all encompassing, that I'm left saying "oh, wow", and "holy crap" and several other expletives. And not just immediately after stopping, but for many "hours" afterwards! In my case, once I'm into the "multiple orgasm zone" they happen, I get a couple of minutes break, and then they happen again, over and over, for up to 2 hours, or until I make it stop. But, I could just keep going if I had nothing pressing to do that day! Now, what other kind of sex allows anyone to have that many deep orgasms for that length of time...non-stop...? Rhetorical question of course...but, no other that I've ever heard, or seen, or read about! Sound gratifying to you? Ride on men!
  • It does sound gratifying indeed, theme-gasm. I'm still in the waiting room of the orgasm doctor awaiting my turn so I only know about them second hand. I try not to get too eager for experiencing them because that's self-defeating for me. Thanks for the view of paradise.

  • Yes @euphemistic having a man inside my warm hole does feel amazing but the toys keep me satisfied. But i actually have someone im seeing now and haven't did anything with him yet but aneros will come into play when we do. He's tried toys so I know he will enjoy it.

    Yes my last partner was a top and he wanted to see two bottoms play so I found one and we did some really hot stuff and then my partner joined in later but it only happened once. 
  • Hi, @euphemistic, @bigoluver.

    I find your discussion very interesting.  My aneros sessions aren't very regular due to time constraints, but when I get a chance, the sensations are amazing.  No super o yet, but I hope to get there some day. 
    I have been awakened to a feeling of curiosity about the real thing by the aneros.  I don't find men attractive and am totally into sex with my wife.  I fantasize what the real thing would be like sometimes.  I have had two opportunities to try it before, but couldn't go through with it.
  • @married2mywife cool name by the way and it explains a lot about you. I see your into pegging which I hear is very cool with hetero couples. With all the love intertwined with the hot passion can really make a hot session. But if the wife is so cool with strapping on why would she enjoy you taking the real thing. 

    But a few questions does you wife know about your aneros play and if she does how does she feel about it.  Like I tell a lot of straight married men here anal play will bring you to a open mind about all things sexually not just about taking a penis. I say you bring it up as a hypothetical question. But I say if you like pegging just but you some really identical penis dildos to scratch that itch. That is actually what my dad is doing. With him being bi and being married he doesn't step out on my mom but just gets his anal pleasure from other sources. 

    Also you said that you almost tried it with a guy was the guy gay or striaght? 
  • We have played with the aneros during love making and she is cool with it.  I think the only slightly awkward part is putting the aneros in before hand.

    We have the fun factory Share which is shaped pretty much like the real thing.  Feels good too.  I think the only way I would even think about trying the real thing is if she agreed to it, but that is not likely.  It took lots of conversations and reading online before she agreed to try pegging.  

    As far as my close encounters, I am a service technician.  I had been to this gay couples vacation house to service their heating system once a year for several years.  One time I was there, only one of the couple was there.  When I was finished with the service, I made an off hand comment that I had some time to kill before my next appointment and he said that he could help me kill the time.  I  decided to bow out politely. 

    The second time it happened was the next year.  The other partner was there alone and he left the door to his room open while he changed clothes.  I saw him nude (I think he knew that I had to pass by the door to go turn the thermostat on).  I just turned my head and looked for a second and then finished what I had to do and left like nothing happened.  I sometimes fantasize about what could have happened if I had went in the bedroom or if I had stayed the year before.

    The aneros has awakened more than I thought in my journey.  I will continue the journey with my wife,  pegging thrown in once in a while. :)
  • I think you're right to trust your gut on this issue, married2mywifr, rather than to another body part lol. Seriously you know what a good marriage you have, I wouldn't jeopardize that. That being said, your stories sound like the set up to some porn videos I've seen. we've all made choices in our lives (I assume you're older), and it's not easy. I'm in a similar situation to yours. I still haven't figured out how to get more sexual contact without jeopardizing my marriage to my spouse, a man in my case. I trust that my journey will give me insights into solving this dilemma, I have no clue how. it's like my lucky charm, the aneros, whispering in my ear about all the pleasures in store and the possibilities. You're fortunate to have such an understanding wife, does she get pleasure from the pegging? Maybe through some kind of sexual subtle subspace communication she'll grasp your needs that she can't completely satisfy and let you get it out of your system. Who knows. I wish you the best on your ride!

  • You're fortunate to have such an understanding wife, does she get pleasure from the pegging? Maybe through some kind of sexual subtle subspace communication she'll grasp your needs that she can't completely satisfy and let you get it out of your system. Who knows. I wish you the best on your ride!

    With the share, I don't think she gets much pleasure.  At least she doesn't indicate any.  We need to get a harness so she can use a vibe on herself or something.  I think the bulb that she has to insert is a little to big.  Some day we will get a harness and she can get more pleasure out of it!  :D

    Hopefully you too will find an answer to your dilemma.
  • ineverknewineverknew
    Posts: 1,209
    @married2mywife, maybe consider the feeldo or realdo, they both stimulate the female while she pegs you.  There is also a good thread on pegging here on the aneros forum that you could read up on for advice and tips.
  • Alex_xxxAlex_xxx
    Posts: 575
    I can just speak for myself.. And I`m as straight as it gets.

    I`ve never even considered this to be related to a homosexual preference. I do not want, and never will want to try "the real thing", even though I`ve liked the feeling of anal play for 12 years.

    Like gay men might find the thought of sex with a woman disgusting, I find the thought of male-on-male intercourse disgusting. Even the sight of the testicles of a man touching an other mans dick or balls in a threesome with a woman, the sight actually makes me nausious.

    I`m trying not to be offended by the way your post seems to put "straight guys enjoying anero"s in the category of "maybe" thinking they might want to try the real thing. So I hope you`re not offended by this post.
  • isvaraisvara
    Posts: 1,036
    @BigOluver, I really enjoy your threads. They jolt me out of my little world and help me see a bigger picture. I would like to add that I do not see an Aneros as a penis. For me it is simply a tool that massages the other side of the prostate.
  • PommiePommie
    Posts: 1,008
    I am a confirmed heterosexual and couldn't imagine having sex with another man. (Maybe I'm too old to contemplate such a thing anyway)!

    However, following a suggestion from @Darwin, I now have some of my best Aneros sessions when I can imagine the Aneros tool I am using to be a penis and that I am a woman enjoying the stimulation of her G-spot by that penis.

    This also adds to my empathy with my wife when I have penis-in-vagina sex with her. I like to think that she can receive the same pleasure as I can during an Aneros session.
  • isvaraisvara
    Posts: 1,036
    @Pommie, thanks.
    Quote from a very early post "I would love to know if you could be openly bi would you and for all the married men here if your wives gave you permission to have a affair with men instead of women knowing you have aneros toy would you take her up on it."
    I have no idea how to do a quote.
    My post was a result of mulling over the above post from BigOluver. So I was assessing how I currently see the Aneros. My post was a bit unclear as was the original paragraph.
    The Forum is amazing
  • Thanks, alex-xxx, for your honest and thoughtful comment. You're right that it's hard for some of us to imagine what it's like for others, especially with sex. Maybe some bisexual men can bridge that gap and explain what the difference between sex with men and sex with women is for them. I don't even understand what the bisexual experience is like. For me it's not disgust at the thought of having sex with a woman but fear, based on years of trying to pretend that I was straight. I always thought that I would be found out if I had sex with a woman and I couldn't get it up, and then something bad would happen. I was at a wedding once with the woman I was dating and we were in bed, dressed in our weeding costumes, and the other parties kept knocking at the door and making lewd sounds. I was mortified and terrified. As for watching straight sex before I came out I would go to straight porn theaters and try to get aroused. I tried to imagine how the man in the movie was feeling but couldn't. I thought that if I did this often enough I would understand so I did it for years. I didn't feel disgust at watching this so much as boredom. I did however notice that I liked watching the man, that this was turning me on. What can I say, I'm a slow learner. And I could feel empathy for the woman who was getting f--ked. I think we're all hard-wired at birth for how we experience pleasure, what brings us pleasure. It's a mysterious thing. Before I came out however I too felt disgust at the thought of sex with men because I think I only saw the negative images of gays in the media.In the 50s I used to work in the library reference section and would search the stacks for reading matter about gays. I learned that gay were sick, disordered sexually and needed treatments. I remember going back to an issue of Look magazine with men in pink angora sweaters on the cover and thinking I was not like them, and learned to dispise them. Not all gay men got this treatment, some were better and some worse. At least they're not doing lobotomies and electroshock anymore. Seems like this was centuries ago, we've come so far in my lifetime. Young guys like BigOluver don't know this scary time first hand like I do so don't have the stigma as strong and have more opportunities. They still have their challenges though like any straight young guy first starting out finding themselves and then dating. Only there's still that attraction to men that needs to be accepted for the gay ones. For straight young men everyone is giving them encouragement to date girls, 24/7. In a sense I had to rebuild my own identity almost from the ground up when I came out. I don't know how it is now for young gays.

    Thank you BigOluver for bringing up this important topic and pushing some buttons, my own included.
  • I am loving the dialog on this post. But I would like if some bisexual men were to comment as well. There perspectives of having sex with a man and a women an then aneros would really bring it all in. The trifecta of sex.
  • @married2mywife, maybe consider the feeldo or realdo, they both stimulate the female while she pegs you.  There is also a good thread on pegging here on the aneros forum that you could read up on for advice and tips.

    Yea, we will  have to try that...
  • Hi. Love dis thread. Been looking at too many 'i had a super-o' threads lately. I am a gay man. But i have had sex with women. Enjoyed sex wit women. Once was with a red light woman in the Dam when i was high as a kite. Another was with a female friend when i was in my early 20's. We'd usually b drunk, or stoned or on harder stuff. One st. stephens day, we were on 'a party drug' and i fucked her 3 times. She said after it was the best she ever had. Which i took as a big comp. cos sober im not that gr8 lol. E keeps u goin. And i enjoy porn with women. If a hot twink is hammerin a pussy, i'll get off watchin him fuck her. Also get off on lesbian porn. Theres videos on xvideos i like. One is a woman havin an orgasm with a vibe held to her clit and u can see the contractions. The anus and pussy snappin open and closed. Another is a tribbing vid where the 'top' has a really intense orgasm and sounds so satisfied when she cums.
    U've heard the phrase, 'the holes the goal'. Ye. U can cum in anythimg and pretend its whatever u want.
    But if i get a chinese and a dvd, and wanna snuggle with sum1 on the sofa for the nite and kiss..... it has to b a man. I could nevermdo dat wit a woman.
  • My browser fuckd up so addin to earlier post. U can hav sex with any1/thing. But who would u like to wake up beside and kiss, even wit mornin breathe. For me dats a man, and dats why im gay.
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  • artformartform
    Posts: 1,488
    Thanks BigOluver for launching this wonderful and vital discussion!!  :D  :D

    Thanks too to all you great guys now engaged in, and contributing to, this exploratory and insightful conversation!!! Each man's journey here and through life is indeed unique.

    This conversation, while focusing on the nature of a man's full opening to anal/prostate pleasures, and the interaction with his relationships with others, and particularly a committed exclusive life partner or marriage, is a very interesting parallel to the Male Sexual Orientation Here poll in the Community Polls:

    I am functionally bisexual, in that I have had a three-year+ gay relationship, tried and enjoyed virtually everything, and still enjoy male erotic aesthetics, truth and beauty, and can easily envision having m2m shared sensual enjoyments and sexual connections.

    I have not had physical sex with another male since the end of the sexual activities with my first partner. I found during our relationship (we both had girlfriends through that time, without sex with them in the pre-pill era of fear in the early 1960s) that I was/am more attracted to women, have more and better friendships with women. I had also realized that I am much more emotionally and romantically attracted to females, and found my wife and fell in love with her. We have and continue to enjoy a happily-hetero marriage for more than 44 years now: as well as co-parenting our two accomplished and loving adult sons.

    My consciously erotic life began before all the above, when, at age 13, I answered the strange feelings and call to make contact emanating from within my lower abdomen, including the hint that my anus was the portal for the search!!)*(!! I explored with my finger(s) and soon hit the SPOT!!! Then erection-sized model missiles, carved carrots, tool handles, gear shifts, and all manner of vegetables and objects were being tested for their prostate pleasuring possibilities.

    Certainly I found the great joys of Super-Ting and that carried on through my solo anal/prostate massage practice over the past 53 years! That also set the scene for my friend and I sharing our mutual curiosity about exploring our erotic intimacy, sexual activities and responses. I was indeed cock curious, and an enthusiastic bottom, and also greatly enjoyed topping.

    The highest and best results were the astounding After Effects from my sessions, that would just appear hours of days after an anal/prostate massage session. The peaks were the prostate centred Intellectual Orgasms I experienced during ages 14-15, and they were deeply formative, life-changing revelatory events.

    ....will add more to this post soon....

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  • darwindarwin
    Posts: 1,357
    there are two things that always hold me back.  

    first is how i would feel about keeping such a secret from my wife.  (i would absolutely not consider telling her.)   probably i could just segment it away, and over time it would scab over and not be a bad thing; life would go on, it would be just a private "adventure."  i am not scared that it would become an ongoing temptation, nor something that would disrupt the beauty of my current life.

    second is STDs, in particular herpes.  i think most other STDs are preventable with a condom, except HPV and lice.    i don't see how having uncommitted sex, especially with a man who might be pretty sexually active, can avoid the herpes risk.   i think even the possibility of being exposed would give me a "morning after" anxiety that would not be fun.

    i imagine that plenty of people have herpes who are not particularly bothered by it, but i know myself and contracting it in an act of infidelity would cause me great emotional stress, like a permanent badge of sin, not to mention the possibility of giving it to my wife.

    so... any virgins out there want to fuck me silly?

  • TreiTrei
    Posts: 246
    Hmm, when you where married you took an oath under god. I'm uncertain but the oath that I read is to be truthful and to honor your spouse, as well your spouse has to honor you. I think that it'd be best to talk it over with her. Other-wise you'd be committing a direct act of adultery and breaking the trust oath with your wife.

    Sorry, I wanted to tell you to go get em tiger but married people are different, though I’m basing my opinion on the Christian view of marriage. But i guess, do what's in your heart that you see as the right thing to do. <3

    As for if the aneros has made me want to try the real thing, I’d say that it has made me far more open to the real thing, but it has not made me want to try it as i'm simply not attracted to men. Though I would be open to mercy sex with a gay friend if I was not a celibate virgin as has been the case before..

  • @married2mywife, maybe consider the feeldo or realdo, they both stimulate the female while she pegs you.  There is also a good thread on pegging here on the aneros forum that you could read up on for advice and tips.

    Wow.  Just has the greatest pegging with my wife.  We used the Share and she has gotten me to have MMO's.  wonderful!!  Without the Aneros, I would have never gotten into pegging and this amazing experience with my wife.  I think we have finally gotten the hang of things.  She really enjoyed herself this time!! 
  • ineverknewineverknew
    Posts: 1,209
    Good to hear!