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Is this the beginning?
  • Okay, big developments, I think... I just got done cleaning up after an almost 2.5 hour session and could use some help and or pointers.

    To begin, I laid a towel on my bed and laid on it completely naked on my back, legs down and arms at my side. Like before I could feel it in me but only when I would make myself contract would I really notice it. Now sometime into just laying still and trying to clear my mind, I noticed what I think were involuntary contractions. Now I say I think because at the time I wasn't sure if it was me doing it. I know it's silly to be confused about that, but I'm just not sure... It's almost too good to be true to think it was all involuntary.

    Soon after I got very hard, and my body began to move around and I went with it. Again, I don't think I was making it do it. It started to feel good inside me but no big O or even anything comparable to a normal one. From this point on I'll try to make this long story short... Throughout the rest of my session my body moved around, bucked, and I moaned a little, but not a lot. At one point I think I was having a dry O because my dick was very hard and I felt contractions around the Aneros.This happened a good amount of time and felt okay, but again, nothing compared to even a normal O.

    Anyway, am I on the right path? Are your stories similar to mine? Should I try a different position next time or keep doing what I did now until I show more progress? Any other pointers or help would be great, because I'm cautiously optimistic that this has some real potential!
  • Have you tried laying on your side with your knees slightly bent. It gives way more feeling for me than laying on my back. Sound good though.
    Honestly all you can do is just enjoy what happens and practice as much as posible. The more you do it the better it will get. Keep it up!
  • My first time is different from yours in the details but similar to your reaction. While it happened, I didn't expect it but knew what it was, gasped, and kind of went into a reverie throughout the session.. Afterwards I questioned whether it was what I thought it was and tried to give it a name. I haven't had another one as intense but remember it vividly as a guide to another experience.

    All I'm saying is don't doubt your experiences in your sessions, go on to enjoy the next one, and treasure and remember them.

    You don't say if it was pleasurable and how intense. Did the pleasure move with the contractions in a sine wave pattern? That's how mine felt, your results may differ.
  • That sounds almost exactly like what I experienced in the beginning as far as sensation and contractions go. You are on your way ^^
  • Braven - Yeah, I'm thinking of that for next time, but was afraid that if I didn't more or less do it all the same exact way I wouldn't have as much luck. But yes, I know practice makes perfect!

    Euphemistic - The thing is, it's not so much doubt as it is surprise. Now to your question, I'm honestly not sure. There wasn't necessarily a pattern as it seemed random. As for the pleasure, don't get me wrong it didn't feel bad by any means, but was under a normal O pleasure wise. I had the "symptoms" so to speak of an O, the contractions inside and my dick hard and going up and down, just not pleasurable really.

    Wandering - Yep, I'm thinking I'm following your path, obviously with a capital O I need more time and practice, but was surprised by my bodily movements and twitches.

    Now I should add and then ask, I drink a lot of water during the day and had to piss twice. As anti germaphobe as this sounds, I emptied my trashcan and went in there as I didn't want to completely interrupt the session. So my question is did that interfere greatly? How do you guys deal with having to pee?

    And the body movement and twitches, normal? (And thank you all for your help!)
  • Braven - Yeah, I'm thinking of that for next time, but was afraid that if I didn't more or less do it all the same exact way I wouldn't have as much luck. But yes, I know practice makes perfect!

    Euphemistic - The thing is, it's not so much doubt as it is surprise. Now to your question, I'm honestly not sure. There wasn't necessarily a pattern as it seemed random. As for the pleasure, don't get me wrong it didn't feel bad by any means, but was under a normal O pleasure wise. I had the "symptoms" so to speak of an O, the contractions inside and my dick hard and going up and down, just not pleasurable really/

    And the body movement and twitches, normal? (And thank you all for your help!)


    You dont have to do it the same way every time, you can experiment.


    Stick with it the pleasure will come with time and practice. So much so that you wont ever want to stop.
    Yes body movement (can) be normal and certainly feel good but can sometimes be distracting. Twitching is very very common and you will notice your body do this more often.
    Important is to go with it and do what feels good so your body starts to love the device.
    Your doing the right thing keep it up.
  • Cool, I just wasn't sure if it was a good idea to begin experimenting after a more or less successful session. So I'm curious about a couple other things... Jerking off? Now if you reach any kind of O during a session you probably won't want too afterwards, but could if you wanted. But how long before you have a session should you JO? As in if I know I'll have an hour or more at 10 tonight should I not JO at all or wait at least an hour or some other time frame? Also, would every other day be a good rate if time permits?

    As for not wanting it to stop, I can definitely foresee having those thoughts, hopefully sooner than later. And it's weird, like, last night when it was happening it just seemed crazy that my body could do this. Like I'm almost taken aback or confused at whats going on.

    But yes, I can see why this could be come an addiction!
  • The sensis is you should not Jerk off in a session.
    You should not JO before a session because you want to be randy (horny and aroused) when you have a session. The Aneros jedi practice not jerking off at all! period. They say this heightens their sessions.

    Now me on the other hand see it a little different. 
    I like a good jerk off often even though i am 40 and if your younger then if you where like me I did it every night almost sometimes more.

    My idea was different. I  would have a session however long and then at the end Super -T.
    Super-T = jo with the aneros in. Why? well 1. by the end i was even hornier and frustrated. 2.It showed my body how to move the aneros. 3. It made me (my brain) associated aneros anal feelings with sex.
    So it made the aneros a sexual being, if you get my drift. 4.I just cant help it:)
    It is important to not touch your penis during your session though.

    I got to a point where I could not stop sessions. I always wanted it, I was gagging for it. I could not sleep if I did not have a session. AT this point to survive I would jerk off to slow the feelings down and lay on my front as well.
    What the hell am I talking about you ask? Well when you get to that stage you will know what I mean.
    Dont freakout you will get through it and you will embrace your rewiring self.

    As you go through your rewireing you become aware that once you could lay in bed and be still.
    You become aware that you can now no longer do that, its gone. your still but your body is having anerosless feeling all the time. It scares you as you can never go back BUT it does settle down there by you get used to it more the point and you embrace it.
    Your never alone again the feelings are always there when your quiet.
    It becomes quit soothing really.
    Hope I have not scared you or told you to much for you to handle all at once.

    BTW The first moment I knew the aneros was actually doing something when starting out was when I could start to feel my heart beat in my anus from the aneros like a amplifier.
    The ride just got better and better from there on.
  • Yes, make sense not to JO before. Now I know you shouldn't touch the penis at all during, but after a session like you said you JO anyway? And yes, I definitely know what you mean. I mean my first real session was kind of meh, but it was a learning experience either way. However I definitely see your point of being damn near addicted if I get to that point.

    Now in your second to last paragraph, are you saying that laying still will no longer help with a session, or that you get so use to the pleasure associated with laying still that you can't go back?

    So you guys tell me this, I had another session this afternoon, nowhere near as successful as the first one. Then again I wasn't alone, there was more noise in the house, and again I had to pee. So I know practice is necessary, so should I put myself on some kind of every other day or whatever regime for at least an hour? Will that help \ aid in the rewiring? And let me know about what \ if at all having to urinate causes? Thanks again!
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,253
    HopefulMMOer,

    Welcome to the Aneros Forum,

    I noticed what I think were involuntary contractions. Now I say I think because at the time I wasn't sure if it was me doing it. I know it's silly to be confused about that, but I'm just not sure... It's almost too good to be true to think it was all involuntary.

    It doesn't really matter if the contractions are involuntary, voluntary or a combination of the two (the effect of 'intent'). When first learning you train your body to accomplish these actions by consciously invoking the various pelvic floor muscles into action, later your 'intent' invokes your body to recall and recreate those actions until ultimately these become totally involuntary (from a consciousness point of view). In any respect the effect is to move your Aneros device to provide the prostate massage action.

    ... It started to feel good inside me but no big O or even anything comparable to a normal one. ... At one point I think I was having a dry O because my dick was very hard and I felt contractions around the Aneros.This happened a good amount of time and felt okay, but again, nothing compared to even a normal O.

    IMHO, it is a mistake to compare a prostate based orgasm to a penile based orgasm ("...normal O"?), they are qualitatively different experiences (see What's an Orgasm?). If you hold onto the old paradigm of thinking about orgasm your progress using an Aneros is likely to be slowed. I'd recommend you read read 'cockadoodle’s thread Penis, NOT and 'rook's thread Whole Body/Whole Mind - the mental side & "zoneros" for a little insight. Basically, I think you are on a viable path, since there is no singular "...right path..." each man needs to experiment with various techniques to find the combination which serves him well. Do remain optimistic, patient and adventuresome as you get better acquainted with your body's potentials.

    Now I should add and then ask, I drink a lot of water during the day and had to piss twice. As anti germaphobe as this sounds, I emptied my trashcan and went in there as I didn't want to completely interrupt the session. So my question is did that interfere greatly? How do you guys deal with having to pee?

    It is a good idea to have a bowel movement sometime prior to prepping for your Anerosession. Aneros use can invoke peristalsis and begin moving feces into the rectum which can interfere with the motion of your massager. For maximum effectiveness, the rectum needs to be clear of any debris so the Aneros is free to move unimpeded. While not strictly necessary, many men regularly employ a rectal flush/douche just prior to their session (see Cleaning your rectum from the Aneros WIKI).
    The urge to urinate whilst having your Aneros inserted is common and normal, it indicates the Aneros is in fact making contact and applying pressure to your prostate. This feeling usually abates after a few minutes for most men, however if your bladder is actually full or even partially full, the feeling may persist for an entire session. The best way to avoid this is to not drink any liquids for at least an hour prior to beginning an Anerosession and also void your bladder immediately prior to beginning a session. This should ease any concern about accidentally wetting yourself and fully allow you to focus on all the good sensations your prostate will be sending you.

    So I'm curious about a couple other things... Jerking off? Now if you reach any kind of O during a session you probably won't want too afterwards, but could if you wanted. But how long before you have a session should you JO? As in if I know I'll have an hour or more at 10 tonight should I not JO at all or wait at least an hour or some other time frame? Also, would every other day be a good rate if time permits?

    Going for Super-T's and/or traditional ejaculatory masturbation/intercourse is entirely your choice. However, keep in mind the best Anerosessions occur when the user is in a highly aroused sensual/emotional state (please read Are you "aroused"? & Aneros, Arousal & Abstinence), to that end you may wish to schedule yourself for arousal enhancement rather than scheduled sessions. Forcing your body to adhere to some artificial "schedule" totally ignores the vagaries of moods and emotional states which really determine the success of Anerosessions. Time spent building your arousal will be more beneficial than time spent practicing on "schedule".
    image Good Vibes to You ! image
  • @HopefulMMOer listen and read what Rumel has said. He is one of the jedi I speak of :)

    My second to last paragraph.
    You misunderstand, maybe my fault.
    That paragraph is about when you dont have the aneros inserted. You get to a certain point when rewiring that when you dont have the aneros inserted you can still feel the aneros working even though its not in you.
    This is called a Anerosless session.
    You lay in bed now and just go of to sleep right. Well when you rewire somewhat you will lay in bed but instead of just going off to sleep, you start having aneroless sessons. You just cant stop your body from doing it! I stops you sleeping for a while until you get used to it.
    Dont fret its all part of the fun.
    Rumels last bit of advice answers your schedule question i think. 
  • Rumel - When you say move the aneros around, that is to say let your body and muscles do it, but not hands right? Also yes, obviously my awareness and knowledge of an orgasm is based on penile only, so part of the learning process is to, well, rewire myself and look at things differently!

    Regarding the cleaning, I thought I'd do it every time, but found an hour or so after a BM when I used the aneros I didn't find any fecal matter on it afterwards. And I have read that not everyone cleans, but tell me this. Some might say it's not necessary to do it, but if you don't, are you inhibiting or stunting the session? And yes, peeing at least an hour makes perfect sense!

    And yeah, I suppose your right, I say reluctantly about your schedule advice. Look, if it holds logic it is what it is, and it does make sense. As much as I'd like to be on some kind of schedule, when I did it the other day I wasn't really horny let alone feeling sensual. Truth be told, I'm on paxil for moderate depression, something I'm hoping this very subject will be able to help, but I've read paxil is a BIG time killer of the libido, and I'm sadly no exception:|

    Either way thank you very much for your time... And Braven, it could just be me and how I'm reading it... But, umm, WOW?! Anerosless session? Where do I sign up!?! Alas, not that easy as we all know, but I hopefully will have those issues one day... And honestly that's unbelievable, that you still feel the effects even when it's not in... Now I read you're married right? Not to pry but did she notice? And how does it compare to an actual session? (Again my thanks!)
  • PommiePommie
    Posts: 710
    @HopefulMMOer,
    Anerosless sessions? Definitely!

    Truly something to look forward to! As you may have seen in another post, I have been on the Aneros journey for just over four years and I now enjoy Anerosless sessions almost every morning after I wake up. If I use an Aneros tool in the morning now, it is only to spice things up a little and provide a little variety. The trouble with Aneros sessions is that you have to clean up afterwards!!

    As @BMayfield has written, Aneros tools should be considered as training wheels. Eventually you can dispense with them!

    Trust me, if you stick at it long enough, you will eventually get there.

    Enjoy!
  • @HopefulMMOer when the ring goes on the sex stops in marrage.I am no exception. But seriously she is on antidepression drugs so I dont get none:(
  • @HopefulMMOer,  Aneroless sessions for me are sometimes better then the real thing.  Last night about 9pm they started up and felt amazing, better last night then ever before.  Finally around 1am I decided enough was enough and put in my eupho, it felt nice but actually killed the session.

    @braveneworld, I feel for ya bro.  Me and my wife have sex about 3 times a year.  I tried everything to no avail, I think she is just one of those that truly has no desire for sex.  Maybe someday things will change, hopefully.
  • Hopeful, I was on Zoloft for years until recently when I changed to wellbutrin because of the libido suppression. It took forever to get it up and I didn't feel like it anyway. On the wellbutrin my arousal and erections are back. I made the change of meds around the same time that I started experimenting with aneros so don't know exactly how much each one contributed. Anyway my arousal is quite amplified as they say, even with my low testosterone.

    Have you noticed any changes in your level of arousal or erection since starting on paxil? My understanding is that all the SSRIs will suppress libido but wellbutrin seems not to.


    Brave and inever, I feel for you. I'm in the same boat. Maybe someone should start a poll? Or maybe just leave it alone, too depressing.
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,253

    Rumel - When you say move the aneros around, that is to say let your body and muscles do it, but not hands right?

    Yes, Aneros is designed/intended to be used 'hands free' (no external manipulation), effective massage occurs from employing your internal pelvic floor muscles to cause movement.

    I have read that not everyone cleans, but tell me this. Some might say it's not necessary to do it, but if you don't, are you inhibiting or stunting the session?

    I don't usually perform a rectal clean-out before a session because I am pretty regular with my bowel movements and know that my rectum will be clear within about an hour of having had one. I have rarely found this practice to inhibit my session in any way, on the rare occasions I have detected some fecal impediments, a simple rectal flush usually will take care of the situation.

    Truth be told, I'm on paxil for moderate depression, something I'm hoping this very subject will be able to help, but I've read paxil is a BIG time killer of the libido, and I'm sadly no exception:|

    I am sorry to hear of your need to be on an anti-depressant. I am aware of the tendency of anti-depressants to be libido killers as well, this undoubtedly makes the Aneros journey toward sensual pleasure and orgasms slower as well as slowing the essential arousal process. You may take some consolation in knowing you are still gaining the health benefits of prostate massage whether or not you are deriving pleasure from it. I wish I had a solution to offer you for this other than to discuss this with your doctor to see if a change in medication type (as @euphemistic indicated) may provide some relief.
    image Good Vibes to You ! image
  • Alex_xxx
    Posts: 407
    I`ve never had the body-thrashings many people describe. 
    But I have had full blown super-O`s that felt like going over the edge and getting an insane release of neurons firing all throughout my body!

    So the body-thrashings aren`t really needed, but I guess they could help get movement or contact.
  • ineverknew - My question then is, why isn't this in every man's rectum as we speak!!! haha! I'm kidding of course, but that is really just unbelievable. The fact that this device, so to speak, can cause such bliss even without using it, that it rewires you in such a way to be able to do that!?!? Well, I'm just glad I found it now!

    euphemistic - Sadly, yes yes and yes:\ I didn't need to google that SSRI's are bad for the libdio but did anyway and yep, one big SOB of a side effect. Ironically I'm on welbuturon now, but it's augmented with paxil. Gotta love the chemical troubleshooting that make us almost feel like lab rats!

    rumel - First paragraph, yep, I thought as much but wanted to make sure... Second, a big 10-4 as I'm regular now, more so, because of using bran in my cereal everyday... And third, yeah, already talked about it. It's a bit better now, but literally, not only is paxil bad for the libido it actually inhibits the ability to orgasam I believe:\ However I'm within a month of getting of paxil at least if I don't see a bigger change. I'm hardly in the severe category, but like most Americans, because of how we beat the piss out of ourselves more than anything else, it was thought AD's would be a help. I'm tending to think Aneros will be a bigger help!!!

    Alex - Yeah, I mean you watch some of the videos and some of these guys look possessed by the orgasm goddess!

    As always thanks guys!
  • I don't know if antidepressants will suppress super O s but I haven't had any yet either. Does anyone here take antidepressants and have trouble with reaching a super O? I'm on wellbutrin with a little bit of celexa, similar to your cocktail, Hopeful. I can't complain about my progress so far but wonder if the antidepressants are inhibiting me. On the other hand I don't feel as neutered as I did on Zoloft and actually feel more sexual than as a teen.
  • alot of people with depression are simply lacking B vitamins.  I would look into if your interested.  I would say talk to your doctor, but sadly most doctors are against natural treatments and would rather further their comfy relationship with big pharma.  I was on a couple of anti-depression meds for a couple of years and it ruined my sex life at the time until a friend who is a nurse recommended taking a B vitamin complex.  I quit the perscription and started taking an over the counter B complex and never looked back.  It actually gives you energy if you take it in the morning too.  Anyways just my opinion.
  • I know about big pharma. I'm married to a psychiatric nurse practitioner. that's partly why I'm depressed. Ironic, no?
  • See, and the problem is is do we just need time and practice to get the big O or could it be these various pills? And yes, for me things went down hill, pun intended, when the paxil was added. Probably getting off it asap I think. But for you to feel more sexual euphemistic, could it be that the AD's are contributing to that?

    And ineverknew, did you replace your AD's with the B complex or add it to them?
  • Hopeful, you said "But for you to feel more sexual euphemistic, could it be that the AD's are contributing to that?". No, but I don't think they are suppressing my libido either, at least the cocktail I'm on now. I'm feeling much more sexual because of the aneros training and despite the antidepressants. And I'm getting more aroused the farther I go along my path. I don't know what effect the antidepressants have, if any, on my libido but they have definitely helped me cope with a difficult living situation and have given me access to my emotions again. I can have normal erections and orgasms again, plus the new vistas of prostate orgasm. I hesitate to go off the antidepressants right now because of my living situation but hope to do so in the future. Are you getting psychotherapy as well as the antidepressants, Hopeful? I've found that to be very helpful because I get an outside view of my moods and advice about changing the antidepressants that I can bring to the psychiatrist. I've finally found a cocktail that seems to work for me. I truly think that they are not interfering substantially with my training. Remember, they are supposed to give one a little help with one's mood to get through a difficult patch. If they're not doing that, your health care providers need to adjust them. Sometimes it takes a longer time to optimize their effect for some people than for other, or so my spouse tells me.
  • Interesting... See it's good your libido isn't being affected, and if anything the aneros is making you feel more aroused. And that's great that it's helped you that much, and I'm hoping for the same thing. With all the crap we have to put up with, self inflicted and outside, I always wonder if it comes down to just a few simple tweaks in our lives. Now easier said then done obviously, but I sometimes feel my biggest enemy can't hold a candle to the negative I bring onto myself.

    That being said, yep, I'm seeing a counselor as well as they recommend it, hand in glove really. The pills help, but so does therapy, and then so does lifestyle changes as well. Individually hard to do of course but together hopefully they will help. And yes, your wife is definitely right, at least in my case. I've been through a lot of troubleshooting med wise and don't feel much different with the latest cocktail I'm on.
  • It took me a long time to arrive at a antidepressant combo that is allowing me to feel somewhat normal again, 10 years on Zoloft which took most of my emotions and sexual feelings away, but got me through the disappointment and anger of leaving a cult-like group that I was in for many years. The group BTW recommended going off antidepressants for everyone and I saw some friends become institutionalized because of that.

    More recently I decided to change AD because of the sexual suppression thing and got back my emotions and sexuality but wound up very emotionally labile because of the dysfunctional life that I found myself in. So I had my psychiatrist tweak the cocktail until I had myself back again. The biggest help though was the psychotherapy where I got support for changing my living situation, the cause of the depression. I say all this to tell you that I sympathize with your situation but not to go off the ADs if you'll find yourself in a unmanageable living situation. They're not the cure but with the right combination, can enable you to figure out what needs to change in your life. At least that's what they do for me and when I've got my life back, I'll get rid of the ADs.

    Right now I'm in a better place than I've ever been but it's taken me 66 years to get here (not 66 years of AD use but of living in general). I've made slow but sure progress with the aneros, maybe not as fast as without the ADs but they've made my life possible for now so I won't give them up yet. They won't change one's life, only you can do that, but they should support you enough to make the changes that you need. If they're not doing that or they're interfering with your sexuality, then don't settle, ask your doctors to try something different. What do you think?


  • Oh wow man, geeze, well I'm glad your journey has taught you a lot and you're in a better place. But yes, usually environment is the biggest factor, and yes, captain obvious told me that too!:} And it's not unmanageable really, as in I could probably get by without them, but I don't want to get by. However I think looking at the aneros as it's own AD might be the wrong way to think.

    And lol, yeah, 66 years on AD would say to me you're a good bit older! Honestly though, what I'm thinking now is probably backing off with the Paxil as I really don't feel that much improved in the end, and if anything worse now because of lack of libido, hard time reaching any type of O, and the feared interference with my sessions.
  • I've been on ADs for only 20 years, not 66. You said: "looking at the aneros as it's own AD might be the wrong way to think.". I wonder if prostate stimulation and the hormonal changes that come from it can increase seratonin production. I've felt much happier since starting this journey, giddy at first and then generally more comfortable with myself. Does anyone know if there's any connection between prostate massage and mood and serotonin production?


    Hopeful, you say that you've been trying different combinations of ADs for some time; that sounds like you've been having troubles for a while and they are serious enough to deserve your extra attention. But you say that they are not unmanageable so could get by without them. I guess you could try stopping them for a while and see what happens, if you get your libido back, and how you feel without them. You can always start them again if necessary. This would all be with your doctor's supervision of course. I don't know how much difficulty to blame on the ADs because I haven't been doing this prostate thing for very long and have made steady progress. How long have you been trying? Sounds like you've had some progress too.

    Rumel, you said: "It doesn't really matter if the contractions are involuntary, voluntary or a combination of the two (the effect of 'intent')...later your 'intent' invokes your body to recall and recreate those actions until ultimately these become totally involuntary." I've gotten to a place where I'm definitely in some kind of orgasm but only if I'm making voluntary contractions. Sometimes they're involuntaries but mostly they aren't. What you said about intent and learning makes sense to me and is very encouraging. I haven't seen this information anywhere else on this site. You sometimes come out with these important nuggets from out of the blue that explain something I've experienced. Thanks.
  • Hey Euphemistic, yeah I didn't think you were on them for your whole life!:} But yes, as contradictory as it sounds, I've been troubleshooting meds and amounts for a year and a half now, yet find that things wouldn't be terrible without them.

    As far as progress goes, I think tonight might have been really good, if only because it wasn't. First I'll tell y'all the good... For about an hour and a half, sat in my office chair and watched porn comfortably and patiently. I changed positions a few times, like legs wide apart, together, bent, etc. After a while I noticed my penis was pulsating while hard and flaccid, and almost shuddering while both hard and soft. For a few minutes I could feel my heart beat in my rectum and penis. I precame a good bit, had plenty of voluntaries and in-voluntaries, and at some point though I was going to cross the threshold when I was shuddering hard.

    Now this didn't feel good really, like before, but didn't feel bad whatsoever. However the caveat is first, I'm under a lot of stress ATM and tired. Second, there was a family member downstairs watching a loud movie. And third, and most frustratingly, I had to pee a lot toward the end and even had small BM after I took it out!!!

    So first, would you describe this as progress? And second, if it is, is it good that I was able to progress despite the negative things mentioned above? As in, the horizon of the Super O is getting clearer and nearer... But you tell me!
  • Hey guys I think I'm onto something but would still love your opinions!
  • I know it's easier said than done but find some time and place where you won't be distracted and you'll be comfortable. This is essential IMO. I notice that you mentioned before that your environment wasn't ideal. Everything else sounds like you're on the right track. I've felt like I was on the cusp of the super O many times but what my body gave me were other delights. However I trust that each landmark leads to another one. But please get to a secure location and spend enough time in your session. Try everything you hear about in the wikis and the forum, then try whatever you want. Remember what seems to work.

    I'm at a point where I don't think about techniques because I've done then all and know which ones work for me. Now I set out by instinct almost to follow whatever way my body pulls me. I'm often surprised where I'm taken. It seems to get easier and more natural as I go along even though I'm not having the violent ecstatic pleasure that is sometimes described. I don't even know if I want that anymore.

    Hopeful, one step at a time as they say. Be delighted in the progress you're really making, the landmark you've reached, and continue reaching.
  • It sounds like beautiful progress! The more you practice, your body and mind will show you more of what works and you'll experience it in your own time. Keep appreciating the good feelings you're getting and you might be surprised what comes along! I believe quite strongly that my body already knows how to give me the pleasure others describe...it's my challenge to let it show me! And, I'm loving it all!
  • euphemistic - Yep, exactly, now more than every my stress level is high as hell, although I was able to sleep with it in last night... Nothing happened really but I was close to having a wet dream about Jenny from The League! And yes, each landmark represents great progress I think. But yes, so far so good, and I really like just putting it in and the first few minutes.

    Theme_Gasm - From your lips to... Well I don't think I should be praying quite yet! And I hope my body knows as well, and I'm able to enjoy better more intense feelings! And yes, obviously you're a pro at this, as I hope to be soon.
  • A wet one to finish off can be nice.  Be aware that when you ejaculate, you get that huge shot of comfy-feeling go-to-sleep fuggetaboutit hormones that you are used to from your former orgasms.  That puts you into a refractory period.  

    Interesting speculation from "Sex at Dawn" that women being multi-orgasmic and men going to sleep is from our pre-agricultural, pre-property, hunter-gatherer life.  Everyone in the clan shared everything.  A woman's orgasmic cries served to attract the rest of the lads to take their turn.  Our genetic competition is in the woman's reproductive tract rather than in fighting the other males.  The ridge behind the glans is a unique-to-humans admirable tool for extracting the previous load so that yours has a chance.
  • Funny you bring that up... I had a session tonight where I'm getting REALLY close I believe, but not quite there yet... I finished off in one of my fleshlights and to be honest, I came but didn't really feel an orgasm. Weird.
  • Really interesting speculation, Warren. "Interesting speculation from "Sex at Dawn" that women being multi-orgasmic and men going to sleep is from our pre-agricultural, pre-property, hunter-gatherer life. Everyone in the clan shared everything. A woman's orgasmic cries served to attract the rest of the lads to take their turn. Our genetic competition is in the woman's reproductive tract rather than in fighting the other males. The ridge behind the glans is a unique-to-humans admirable tool for extracting the previous load so that yours has a chance".

    I've been speculating along a similar line too. What is Sex At Dawn, a book? I've been tracking my lineage through DNA analysis and have learned that I have some Neanderthal DNA in me. Neanderthals preceded modern man, Cro Magnon, by a hundred thousand years. Stan Gooch and Colin Wilson speculate that Neanderthals thought with their cerebellum rather than the cerebrum because it was much bigger. This means that they were more sexual than modern man and more intuitive. Gooch speculates that they worshipped the moon based on the few artfacts we have. He further speculates that they may have had religious ceremonies under the full moon where everyone had sex with everyone. So there was no competition for male dominance, that came with modern men and our cerebral brains. The prime directive was to have as many offspring as the women could have for the clan.

    What do you mean about the ridge behind the glans extracting the previous loadm How would that work? Do you mean the frenulum?
  • @euphemistic, i read that somewhere too about the glans being a remarkable tool for removing the semen previously deposited.  Not sure where i read that though.
  • tairy
    Posts: 50
    Sex at Dawn is a book from the last few years that has caught on among people - I haven't read the book itself but I do enjoy the author Chris Ryan's podcast. The book as I understand it explores human attitudes toward sexuality versus our likely recent-historical practices, especially with respect to monogamy (or lack thereof). The argument Ryan and his wife make in the book seems to boil down to asserting that monogamy should not be viewed as the natural state of humans, but rather a choice to be made (or not) with the understanding that it's difficult insofar as it goes against our base nature.

    Ryan often points to bonobos as evidence of a non-competitive species that's just as genetically close to humans as are the much more often-referenced chimpanzees. Unlike chimps, bonobos are non-confrontational (the way Ryan puts it is that bonobos use sex to avoid violence while chimps use violence to get sex). His argument is that our current seemingly more chimp-like state is more culturally rooted than biologically determined, and that we could just as easily take the more bonobo-like route.

    There's some very interesting stuff on hunter-gatherer societies as well and how the sexual practices within them (everyone sleeping with everyone else) isn't analogous to modern day free love / promiscuity, where one engages in no-strings sex with complete strangers. In the hunter-gatherer context, everyone knows and cares about everyone else, and sex is used as a way to deepen that connection. In modern society, no-strings sex can be far more risky and alienating because of the lack of any genuine connection.

    There's a story about WWII fighter pilots essentially starting swinger culture, by the men sleeping with each others' wives. It wasn't without reason - the men understood their likelihood of dying, and by having all slept with each other, the close-knit nature of the community meant the widowed women would be more likely to be looked after by the men who survived.
  • Wow, sounds interesting, tairy. And it makes sense to me. Maybe that's why servicemen have sex with each other, because it's fun, no women in the field, and they may die at any time and want to leave a bond and have a bond with their brothers if they should lose them! I'll definitely look up that book.