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Help with plateau
  • monkeyrj
    Posts: 12
    I am now at a stage where I can get involuntary contractions going nicely during nearly every session. However, no matter what I do that's as far as it goes. I have tried lots of different things from trying to support the movements to varying degrees to just lying there but eventually they just die out. I can get them to start up again but they never seem to go anywhere. Does anyone have any suggestions?

    Thanks in advance
  • slimjm
    Posts: 497
    I assume you mean the involuntary contractions where your anus feels wormy and quivering and you get this funny feeling involuntary "sucking in" contraction of your rectum that grips the Aneros and pulls it inward pulling the P-tab against your perineum.  If that's the case, you're definitely on the right track.  I was stuck at the same point early on in my rewiring and discovered that doing gentle PC contractions like you're holding back urine flow--not pulling and pinching inward with your anus--and lightly tickling the nipples got the orgasmic sensations to coming.  They first start with this pleasant warmth behind your pubic bone and as you going along with sessions practicing at this, that warmth will flow into your penis and eventually get to the point your penis will feel really hot and you'll feel like you're ejaculating as intensely as you ever could, contractions coming and all, but with no ejaculation.

    Keep working at it.  It will come.
  • ineverknewineverknew
    Posts: 860
    i hit the same plateau a while ago too, dont worry it will pass, just keep at it and stay relaxed, good things will come.
  • I've been on this plateau so long I think I will build a house.
  • monkeyrj
    Posts: 12
    I'm a month on now and if I do nothing, breath deeply and listen to something relaxing I can feel pleasurable movements of the toy within a few minutes of inserting the aneros. However, currently no amount of doing nothing, contracting or stimulation has manged to amplify these sensations. This has been coupled with using different toys, session lengths, different levels of abstention, reading the forum/wiki and so on.

    I'm not frustrated and enjoy most sessions for what they are but have to admit to feel a little lost. One thing I do find is whilst the sessions are pleasurable and sometimes exciting  I don't feel massively aroused or turned on (certainly no erection or pre-cum) and I have often wondered whether I am actually stimulating the prostrate.

    Any one any ideas?

    Thanks in Advance
  • ineverknewineverknew
    Posts: 860
    @monkeyrj,  I went through a phase just as your describing this past winter, dont worry, keep at it and it will pass.  One thing to keep in mind though, is that stress and worry can have a big impact on aneros use.  I know my problems in the winter were caused by winter depression and issues from work creeping in and affecting my aneros use.  I'm not saying you have either of these issues, but if you did, it could be why.

    Erections and pre-cum really have no bearing on a successful session in my experience.  I have had great sessions with neither myself.  As for arousal, maybe try something different then what you have in the past to get fired up.  Getting aroused is a problem for me too.  Try some different things.  Hope that helps.
  • Wired
    Posts: 83
    Monkeyrj - " I don't feel massively aroused or turned on (certainly no erection or
    pre-cum) and I have often wondered whether I am actually stimulating the
    prostrate."

    From my experience, Stimulating your prostate only amplifies your arousal and you can get better at this with practise. Personally i wont bother having an aneros session unless my body is telling me to. Which means arousal is at a high already before i begin. Which makes amplifying this arousal alot easier for me.
    This took me around 8 months to really get my head around. However i havent had a super-o yet, and perhaps this is because i enter my sessions with too much arousal forcing me to a "Not so super-T".
  • ineverknewineverknew
    Posts: 860
    @wired, my experience has been that when I am the most aneros hungry, i tend to not have great sessions.  You would think thats when they would be the best, but for me they arent, its the one where im just going thru the motions and bam! I get hit with the best session ever. Just something to think about.  
  • Wired
    Posts: 83
    Thanks Ineverknew. Interesting, I will take some time to compare with my sessions, and attempt some when im not overly aroused.
  • mack
    Posts: 20

    Just thought i would share this,i sure am not a pro but it did help me.

    I had 2 small sessions in 3 days about 30 min. long for each.

    I skip a day and went for alonger session,after a hour of good feelings

    I rolled over on my stomach and wow things did take off,but what works

    for one may not work for another.

    Thanks.

     

  • monkeyrj
    Posts: 12
    A few more months on now and and on a good session the toy is twitching continually. Although this starts on insertion it still never seems to go anywhere. I would be interested to understand what people do once things start to twitch. Do people:

    1. Just relax and do nothing
    2. Contract (pull the toy in) to some degree and hold (i.e. hold at 10%)
    3. Bear down (push the toy out) to some degree and hold
    4. Continually contract and release (i.e. making the toy go in and out)
    5. Some other thing
    Any thoughts would be helpful

    Thanks in advance

  • Gilman
    Posts: 56
    Not advocating any illegal behavior but a little pot will alter the experience greatly. MJ definitely has an introspective effect on oneself. This results in a keen awareness of what your body feels, heightening the sensation and advancing things greatly.

    If that isn't an option, meditate, try to relax. Things will happen.
  • praxyon
    Posts: 17
    When I am lying on my back while using the Eupho, I raise my butt higher by using 2 pillows instead of 1 pillow (or by folding a pillow in half). Doing this technique allows my Eupho to reach pleasurable spots easier and I am now able to have big Os with it! The technique also helped me get through my plateau with the Eupho, but it may help you too with your other Aneros toys.
  • monkeyrj
    Posts: 12
    Another month and much the same thing. Sessions vary (had an excellent one last night) but still nothing much more than last month. Just realized that its now been four months (Although, I have been trying off and one for three years) and while things are slowly moving along I would be interested to see if anyone has anything else to suggest. Also, I would still be interested to have some answers to what people do during there sessions, something long the lines of:
    1. Just relax and do nothing
    2. Contract (pull the toy in) to some degree and hold (i.e. hold at 10%)
    3. Bear down (push the toy out) to some degree and hold
    4. Continually contract and release (i.e. making the toy go in and out)
    5. Some other thing

    Thanks in advance




  • ineverknewineverknew
    Posts: 860
    @monkeyrj,  I have always done the do nothing approach, which for me is literally "do nothing".  That said i have tried a few times where you hold a contraction at like 30% or so and just forget about it, if that makes sense.  When doing the do nothing, my muscles automatically do what they are suppose to for the most part, but sometimes holding a contraction like that will get things fired back up again for me.  I also have been playing around with fantasies, coming up with some sort of made up role playing which is obviously sexual in nature and just kind of let it play in my mind to help build arousal.  Hope that helps.
  • It's now been 7 months and still no advancement. In fact, progress has gone backward and I'm starting to loss interest. Has anyone got any ideas in reinvigorate my journey?
  • When I'm nice and relaxed and getting a few twitches, I'll start by focusing on the twitches coming from the anal area. If the Aneros doesn't suck in, I'll squeeze my butt checks to help pull it in to put more pressure on the prostate. Early on for me, the twitching would build but not go anywhere, After this happened a couple of times, I told myself over and over, " just let go". Now sometimes I'll think some erotic thoughts to get me going. Good luck.
  • PommiePommie
    Posts: 720
    @monkeyrj,
    From my experience I would say you have barely jumped off the starting block yet!

    Try not to become discouraged by your apparent lack of progress. It's just that your body hasn't sent the appropriate messages to your brain till now.

    You haven't told us what model(s) you have been using or how frequently. We also don't know how long your sessions have been.

    If you are getting no obvious responses it might be worth inserting the tool when you go to bed, just ignore the fact that it is there and allow yourself to go to sleep. Try this two or three times a week for a few weeks. My guess is that it would soon wake you up at some point during the night. From that point you could be sure that it is trying to communicate with your brain. Just make sure you have adequate long-lasting lubrication in place before insertion. BTW, I wouldn't try this with any of the larger models (such as the Progasm or Maximus, and don't leave it in place all night.

    Just try it and Good Luck! 
  • XilehXileh
    Posts: 353
    @monkeyrj - I glad you are still with us!

    Actually you seem to be making steady progress, but may have hit a bit of a dry spell which can be normal. Dry spells can happen even after years of great results. Try and relax. Follow the advise you have been given. Play with it, what have you got to lose? In time, if you can avoid getting too anxious, the good sensations may restart, and they may be different.

    There is no end to this experience, and you are just starting. There is so much that is possible. It is worth sticking with it. Relax.

    Xileh
  • The phase "barely jumped off the starting block yet!" worries me. After several years of casual use and now nine months of focused regular use to not be off the starting blocks makes me think I'll never get any further (but I am not put off :).

    For the record I have a Helix, MGX, SGX, Maximus and Progasm. I almost exclusively use the Maximus and sessions last from 30mins to 2 hours with at least 4 sessions a week. I have slept with the smaller ones previously but have never really got much from it.

    When I started this thread I had been progressing through the stages in the wiki nicely but had suddenly stopped progress (more recently I have had a dry spell which I think I am coming out of now). During a session am relaxed, not anxious and can even drop off. When I first insert the toy it almost immediately starts twitching, however, I can never really build on it and am now out of ideas.

    Any further thoughts?

    Thanks
  • monkeyrj,
    I was where you are now and when I started engaging my nipples is when things really took off. Have you tried that? I have all the units you have but also use the Maxiums. I have continuous Super O's from about five minutes after insertion for an hour or more now and I'm lightly rubbing my nipples most of the time, with some oil-based lube so I don't get them chaffed.

    Try this if you haven't and let us know.  
  • PommiePommie
    Posts: 720
    @monkeyrj,
    I didn't mean to be flippant about where you are in this journey but simply to make the point that some of us, (me included), take several years to reach a point where we can confidently identify as having experienced what many call a Super-O.

    Reading your reply, I can see that you have indeed quite a bit more experience than I had realised.

    Might I suggest that your body may be somewhat confused by having to recognise different models at this stage? I believe this caused my progress to slow during the first two or three years.

    FWIW, I have settled lately on the smallest Peridise and am having a great time with it, but I'm sure this is because my body has come to recognise this one as a familiar friend!

    Best of luck!
  • I am trying out a few things but I would really like to get a few answers to what people do during a session, some thing along the lines of, I:

    1. Just relax and do nothing
    2. Contract (pull the toy in) to some degree and hold (i.e. hold at 10%)
    3. Bear down (push the toy out) to some degree and hold
    4. Continually contract and release (i.e. making the toy go in and out)
    5. Do some other thing

    Thanks

  • @monkeyrj, I use the do nothing method, so I start out by doing some relaxation breathing, or belly breathing, eventually the involuntaries kick in and I'm off.  Using this method, the involuntaries will stop and start up again several times.  Doing or holding contractions never did anything for me so cant help you there.
  • PommiePommie
    Posts: 720
    @monkeyrj,

    Do ALL of what you suggest and anything else you can think of.

    Just bear in mind that we are all built differently (we are individuals). Any of what you have listed might work on one occasion but fail to work on another.

    The only way you will really learn to achieve success with Aneros devices is to experiment. To complicate matters further, each model will provide you with different responses, so the combinations are unlimited! 
    That's what makes it so rewarding and so much fun!

    Just try to be aware of the responses as they occur and e!njoy
  • Just wanted to touch base again to see if there's anything else I can be doing. The first post was in March and in now nearly December and I don't think I'm much further forward despite regular use. Basically, during a good session things feel nice and I can tell the prostrate is swelling but I simply can't capitalise (either actively or passively) on these feelings to increase the intensity or pleasure.  I have tried very thing from do nothing to strong contractions and everything in between. The only thing recently has been a single whole body spasm during a session but other than that the device twitches on its own from insertion but I simply never get any further.

    Any advise anyone?

    Thanks in Advance
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,257
    monkeyrj said:

    One thing I do find is whilst the sessions are pleasurable and sometimes exciting  I don't feel massively aroused or turned on (certainly no erection or pre-cum) and I have often wondered whether I am actually stimulating the prostrate.

    You said this back in April, @Wired picked up on it and commented but you have never responded to the issue of being aroused
    (see Are you aroused?).
    IMHO, being highly aroused is a key aspect of having pleasurable results with your Aneros massagers. 'BF Mayfield' long ago said the Aneros devices were best as arousal amplifiers not as arousal generators and I totally agree with that observation. If you expect your Aneros to make you "horny" and get you excited you will likely be disappointed with your results, it just doesn't work that way. You need to be already excited to have success with your Aneros. All the technique in the world won't do you any good unless your body is in the mood to have an orgasm and you can't force your body into getting into that mood.
    My suggestion to you would be to focus on creating greater arousal before even thinking about starting an Anerosession. Have you read the thread Aneros, Arousal & Abstinence ? That is one path you have not mentioned having tried. I would suggest you also read the thread Identifying Obstacles to Progress and then follow that with the thread Identifying Facilitators to Progress. Those two threads may reveal some aspect(s) of your practice which may be holding you back. I hope these help you surmount whatever obstacle is currently limiting your progress.
    image Good Vibes to You ! image
  • Monkeyrj, you could try my breathing meditation to get aroused. Look at the blogs for My Breathing Meditation. I use it to get aroused from within. Let me know if it helps or not.
  • That's an interesting observation about being aroused. I do have sessions (two back to back recently) where I have had a rock hard erection, maybe this is progress. However, I have found that if I'm too aroused I get frustrated and can't relax wanting a traditional orgasm. Also, despite before older (well 46) I struggle with abstinence for for than two days, I have managed 5 days without ejaculating but this state of arousal, as I said, will kill an aneros session.

    That said I'm now on day 5 of self imposed abstinence....Let's see what happens.........
  • Arousal doesn't necessarily mean hard-on. Read the wiki, it is a state of mental and bodily expectations with increased heartbeat, butterflies feelings, bodily warmth, etc. IMO abstinence from ejaculation will increase my arousal in this way if I keep my awareness centered on what's going on inside me. If I'm hard I just enjoy the feelings and keep on focussing on my insides, especially the prostate, anus and that neighborhood. The breathing exercises just help me keep my awareness inside.
  • monkeyrj
    Posts: 12
    I thought I'd keep this thread going as I approach a year of concerted aneros use......

    Abstinence hasn't worked for me. In fact, going for 8 days without ejaculating has killed my sessions to the point this night where I am back to getting nothing and  finding the last two session uncomfortable and to be a bit frustrating.

    I will carry on and I'm sure that things will come back but if anyone has any suggestions or whether they've had similar experiences I would certainly find it helpful at this point in my journey.

    Thanks
  • Bobandy
    Posts: 22
    I am no expert in any sense, but my personal experience is that the time of day is very important. When I try a late night session they almost always are duds, but my early morning (best time for me) and early afternoon sessions are amazing. Perhaps you could try some other times? Just a thought.
  • monkeyrj
    Posts: 12
    When I started this thread I was pretty much at a plateau in as much as I could get the device to twitch or move on it's own (very pleasurably) but couldn't progress further.

    Almost, a year on and I pretty much at the same point. I have had a dry spell for the last month and I hoping it will come back shortly (nine out of the last ten sessions have been complete duds) but I'm getting to the point of giving up on the whole idea.

    I feel that I need some spark of progress or even to get back to where I was when I started this thread but am completely out of ideas.

    Does anyone have suggestions?

    Thanks in advance
  • @monkeyrj - How are you with going A less?
  • ctusserctusser
    Posts: 95
    You might add some penis stimulation and stop and focus on the aneros if you feel an orgasm approaching. Also, you might consider the peridise beginners set which can be had for $20 on Amazon. That took things to a whole new level for me.
  • Theme_Gasm
    Posts: 311
    @monkeyej --- How's your overall stress level these days? These are tough times for many, and if you're one of them, then that may be a factor!?! I am also approaching my one year mark! How often and how long are your sessions these days?

    TG
  • Clenchy
    Posts: 80
    Focusing on the movement could be a distraction. I've had dud sessions where I was all about the muscular/movement side of things, and I believe as a result my mind wasn't where it needed to be.
    The supposition being, that with sufficient movement an orgasm is inevitable. Which leans on our knowledge of traditional masturbation, where you can knock out a pretty mediocre orgasm with enough friction and the right amount of tension.
    There's definitely room to experiment with different contractions.
    Holding a very slight push-out contraction, a very slight PC contraction
    combined with a "listen to the quiet feelings" approach can help.


    I think wanting an orgasm and wanting to ejaculate leads to a lot of dead-ends. I stopped chasing that. My attitude is that I'll give myself a traditional orgasm and ejaculation at the end of the session, that need will be taken care of. I remove that need from the aneros session, and in the mean time I'm going to experience what ever other erotic pathway reveals itself. This is the weird semi-orgasm I'm going to have before my proper orgasm later.

    With the neediness gone, along with the desire for a very specific type of sensation, I'm free to accept other sensations and shift my attention to where ever else it could be useful. For example, if I'm chasing the old familiar orgasm, I'll be looking for, and encouraging the various associated cues.
    One of the biggest things I've had to overcome is jumping on feelings and trying to push them higher, learning to spot when I'm doing that, and staying present enough to stop it. When I feel something familiar, the old cues from traditional masturbation kick in, my brain thinks it's in familiar territory and knows its way around, but it really doesn't. It's confused by the familiar sensations, but the process of building and maintaining them isn't the same. So I end up working against myself. It takes discipline to overcome.

    The biggest progress for me isn't about contractions, it's heightened sensitivity. The same movement, the same pressure, feels more pleasurable now than it used to, and it takes me further. You need to listen for the quiet sensations, the ones that feel weird but kinda nice. Maybe that slight twinge below your belly button. Don't try to push it, just listen to it and find it nice, stay there. Then with enough time (maybe months), these feelings get stronger and more available all on their own. And even though they may not seem orgasmic now, they can get powerful. There's no technique or routine that I can point to that explains the difference in my sessions now versus before. My prostate is more able to feel pleasure, and the pleasure it feels is way more intense than before, it just happened over time. Of course there were a lot of dud sessions and a lot of frustrating plateaus in the 4 years+ I've been doing this, but I feel like this was one of my key roadblocks.
  • Theme_Gasm
    Posts: 311
    @Clenchy --- The "ability to feel pleasure" in my prostate did take time! I tend to associate the acquisition of that stage to frequent and lengthy sessions. Do you see any similarity to your experience? Was a more frequent and longer session a factor in your eventual success?

    TG
  • Clenchy
    Posts: 80
    I couldn't say, my sessions have always been frequent and long. Maybe I was frequently spending a long time chasing the wrong things.
  • XilehXileh
    Posts: 353
    Medications, state of mind, state of relationships, and as has been mentioned, stress, can negatively impact your progress. Plateaus and dry spells are pretty normal. However, I think Aneros progress is also heavily impacted by the stressors in our lives, and I believe, is a good indicator of overall male health. Are there any outside influences that are distracting you?

    Xileh
  • monkeyrj
    Posts: 12
    Thanks for all the responses:

    I am on my usual new year diet and this means 30 to 40 minutes CV per day combined with 30 minutes weights seven days a week which at approaching 47 is pretty stressful on the body.

    However, I would say that I'm not focused on trying to orgasm just get back to having the nice feelings I had a year ago and then again about six months ago. Incidentally,  I can edge to a hands free ejaculation which I don't know of that's good or bad?

    Actually, reading the comments here makes me feel better about my journey and certainly makes me think that I just need to keep trying and take each session as it comes.

    To answer some of the questions:

    I was getting a fair bit a "fluttering" A less. Normally, at work reading documents but that has gone too.

    Session are about four a week and the better session last 1 to 1.5 hours. However, I normally give it 30 minutes and stop if the session is going nowhere. These are the frustrating ones that are happening too often at the moment.

    TIA
    RJJ
  • Theme_Gasm
    Posts: 311
    As you noted, the longer sessions are often the more successful! I experience similar results, and, when my sessions get cut short, I just have to remember there's always the next time! My typical session is no less than 2 hours! I'm 52 BTW.

    Combining the stress with a shorter session, may be an answer to why your level of success is not as desired.

    TG
  • BigGlansDC
    Posts: 634
    Just now I have read @rumel's Identifying Obstacles to Progress and his Identifying Facilitators to Progress both of which I found once again to be very helpful.

    Just a little nudge please, Aneros! ;)

    Thom./BigGlansDC
  • I can endorse @Bobandy 's comments about the time of day being a big factor in the quality of an Aneros session. Most nights I'm inclined to go to bed at 9:00 and set the alarm for 5:00, knowing how much better they are when I'm well rested. (Early afternoon sessions are also good.)

    Another significant factor is fantasy. I'm finding (about 3 1/2 months into this; bought MGX in Nov 2013) that when the physical sensations subside, mentally focussing on the visualisation of an erotic scenario can suddenly ramp up the excitement and pleasure. Putting one's attention on physical sensations alone is fine to get things started, but once things are "ticking over" nicely, it's the mental element of fantasy that really takes things from good to CRIKEY! :)