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How to Tell Friends?
  • Gilman
    Posts: 55
    I want so much to share my Aneros experience with some of my friends but I am just too uncomfortable and really wonder how they might react. I just wish I could send their email addresses somewhere and have them get literature via email.

    Any suggestions how to let people know just what they are missing?
  • newguy8762
    Posts: 198
    Gilman,
    You ask a great question and in asking it, you reveal what a kind, compassionate soul you are. Nothing is more common in the human experience than to share something good with those we love and have affection for. Fathers, brothers, sons, friends...I have the same impulse to share with other men who I care about and enjoy being with. But how?

    The challenge is, most plutonic male/male relationships deal with sexuality in a joking, superficial manner. We make fun of it because we're nervous about it. Afraid that if we reveal our deepest desires and fantasies, we'd be rejected, shunned. In my experience, even though in most cultures, males are to be the strong, dominant ones, in reality, we are the most insecure and afraid.

    "Is my penis big enough?"; "Am I seen as a man by others?"; "Do I make love like an expert?"

    Have you ever been asked by one of your guy friends: "Can you describe your fucking technique" (forgive the crude language). Or, "What's the best orgasm you've ever had and what made it so good? Please describe it." Or "How long can you thrust without cumming?" Or "What's your favorite way to masturbate?" OR any other related, intimate, probing question? The answer is probably "No!" because we guys do not speak of such things, with even our closest male friends. Heck, we even find it hard to ask our spouses to touch us here or there or do this or that.

    Yet, this is the one thing we can never escape, the one thing that's always close in our thoughts and mind. Sex rules us secretly. Or, if it doesn't rule us, at least it demands our attention.

    I can write freely about my inner life on a site like this but I would find it very hard to bring up such topics, even with my closest friends and relatives. I've tried to broach the subject a couple of times with a cousin and brother with "I love it when my wife massages my prostate" and I get a "what do you mean" and then I lose the courage to say "when she sticks her finger up my ass and you know, strokes the male g-spot. Man, what mind blowing orgasms!"

    I'm afraid of the expository. Maybe it's been because of the group setting (i.e. other guys all around at the same time). I have a couple of good friends I would not hesitate to discuss this with, but I would not bring it up to them. I don't know how.

    If a friend or relative told me they were suffering from the symptoms of an enlarged prostate, I would also recommend it. But, from a sexual standpoint, I just don't know how guys do this. I've never had another guy tell me how he performs oral sex on his lady. I've never had another guy tell me how he likes to be blown. I don't know how long my friends can pump before blowing a load.

    Is this wrong? Ya, I wish we males could all speak more freely about something so near and dear to our hearts. How do we do it? I don't have a clue!

  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,254
    @Gilman & @newguy8762,

    In the thread Ideas for Spreading the Word... a number of thoughts have been expressed but none of them has really resolved the inherent awkwardness of discussing such intimate male sexuality issues in a public setting.

    I think this is gradually, ever so slowly changing, with the expansion of the internet as a global information resource, men's access to divergent points of view on what constitutes male sexuality has never been greater in human history. Ironically, it is the mythic characteristics of 'maleness' and expected models of behavior which conspire to suppress the great expansive richness of true maleness. The competitive nature of western culture prods men to be more "male" than the next guy, creating impossible stereotypes to aspire to. Homophobic fears tear into the heart of this stereotypical male culture making open communication, compassion, cooperation and sharing between men all but impossible in the public realm.

    As the world becomes the global community it inevitably will become, the acceptance of male diversity in thoughts, feelings and actions will inevitably happen as well or we as a species will go extinct. Evolution has primed humankind with integrative behaviors for survival and our ability to communicate with each other may be our best behavior to affect change. The existence of this very Forum with memberships from across the globe is testimony to the change in attitude toward acceptance of a wider definition of what constitutes "maleness" and our ability to communicate it.

    In most cases it is a man's own curiosity about his sexuality that leads him to seek this wider definition. I think one approach to getting this information shared is through indirect stimulation of a man's innate curiosity. When we ask leading questions or pose hypothetical scenarios we can engage our brethren in communication which can then lead to more direct sharing of knowledge without putting ourselves in positions of being judged as "outliers" in our culture. This is a gradual unfolding and revealing process which need not be executed as an "outing" of anal/prostate play but as an exploratory quest for a mutual understanding and awareness.
    image Good Vibes to You ! image
  • brine
    Posts: 220
    Excellent questions and propositions here, gents. 

    I have wrestled with this dilemma for years, since discovering the beauty of being a multi-orgasmic man. 

    For me, I'm thinking of one particular man with whom I have a very candid relationship. We have discussed some intimate sexual issues he and his wife were having. If I make a commitment to talking with him about Aneros use/prostate massage in the context of our previous conversations, I may be okay. Then the next man I talk to about it will be easier. I don't know for sure, but I would have to try to find out. 

    It's worth a try.

    Brian
  • rookrook
    Posts: 1,604
    The majority (of men over 65) suffer through some symptoms of prostate enlargement (http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/10/22/hm.prostate.qa/ ).   Many also take E.D. meds like Levitra, Viagra, Cialis or Caverject.   An increasing number are into Testosterone supplements or other Steroid precursors.

    As a result, we gents read a lot and are open to sharing our feelings about what has worked, what didn't and what developments are coming down the pike.  In the case of one friend, his wife was griping more about the prostate gland than was he.

    It's fairly easy to approach "the chat" by mentioning the Pro-State toy (PS-2, PS-X or PS-New) and what I've accomplished with it.  For me that's sleeping through the entire night and being able to cut back on the amount of alfa-blocker I take.  Then I mention, "and the side effects are an amount of pleasure that's hard to imagination."

    Then... "...by the way.  have  you ever seen the Aneros line of prostate massagers ?"