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Lost my groove?
  • The best way I can think of to describe it is that I lost my groove.  I've been an Aneros user for probably about four years now, I've been a forum lurker since just about as long, and I have a helix classic and a progasm classic.

    It took me a couple of years, but I did finally make it to the super O.  But despite how happy I am with the super O, and how amazing they are, I've always felt like there’s this next level that I’m building towards but can never quite reach.

    I've tried many things to reach that next level, but without much success.  The most recent was the Slightest Touch, which I read about on the wiki.  The issue, however, is that it’s been 3 months since I used it with my aneros, and I've had probably 20 sessions since then, and no super O.  I still get pleasurable sensations, but no super O.

    I think at this point all of the sessions without a super O have turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy for me – that I go in with the nagging feeling that I won’t reach the super O, and I’m essentially shooting myself in the foot.  Over the years, I’ve gotten lots of great advice from lurking the forum, but I’m not sure continuing to lurk will help me get over this barrier, or plateau, or whatever you’d like to call it.

    I know I can’t be the only person who has had times when things just don’t seem to work.  So any advice would be greatly appreciated.

  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,782
    @perfectimposter - Welcome, and glad you finally officially joined us! :)  I haven't achieved super-O's yet, so what I'm going to say is not personal experience, but more what I've read here over the years. We all seem to go in cycles at times. Even me with my Aneros practice. Sometimes I get really amazing non-orgasmic sessions for weeks at a time. Other times nothing much happens. Also, things like major life stress, depression, anxiety, can work against you with Aneros sessions. Try to work through these things so they don't get in the way.

    I wouldn't worry to much about where you are at. You've gotten there and have achieved the super-O. You can do it again. But these things just don't happen by force of will. Try being sure to drop any expectations that you will or will not get there during your sessions and just allow anything to happen. I'm sure you'll get plenty of other users to give you further advice.
  • Thanks for the encouragement.  I'll keep trying.  The real trick I suppose will be to go in without that nagging feeling of failure.
  • TeederTeeder
    Posts: 31

    Where I think you maybe"shooting yourself in the foot" is in the expectations you are placing on your future sessions brought about by the experiences of your past ones.  I have found out that for myself that if "I"(me/myself) go into a session, looking for what I have had, I might be not open minded enough as to what may transpire in my present ones.  I will say that the mind can also learn to associate certain things that go along with what we are trying to do here.  I have listened to certain things during a session and have found that by playing them again, outside of a session or before a session, it places me in pleasurable mindset either way.  It has taught me to realize that the mind/brain really is our biggest sexual organ.  During normal penile related sex acts you can just autopilot and let the body "do it's thing".  When in an Aneros session "the mind" definitely has to be involved, but relaxed so that it won't misread and overpower the experience.  Recently I have found something that helps tremendously.  It calms the mind, but doesn't put it to sleep,it sets up the relaxed state, but has taught me the mental control I needed to just let things happen.  Try the Brain Sync titles: Lucid Dreaming & Pure Focus.  Both are excellent for the properties that they are trying to instill, and have multiple uses, both in and out of an Aneros session.  I will caution, that if you get to a certain point where you can direct REM sleep focus well enough, a restful nights sleep can become not so restful.  Mental focus should not be directable 24/7.  You can turn it off, and this too is also a learned technique.


        My 2 cents, 


  • ineverknewineverknew
    Posts: 1,210
    Im kinda in the same place.  Been using aneros for over a year, and no super O in a few months.  I know what my problem is, though not much I can do at this point except just deal with it.  I beleive i have whats called winter depression and some anxiety from work being so busy.  Ive also been trying all kinds of new things to get out of this funk but to no avail.  Anyways just thought i would share, since i think alot of people may be suffering from similar problems but dont realize how much they can affect you.  I do take B vitamins for the winter depression which do help tremendously, but is not a cure.
  • XilehXileh
    Posts: 392
    I'm a couple of weeks into a dry spell too. I've been at it for a little over a year and have had a pretty good time. I'm under a lot of stress with work and an aging parent. I think it finally became too much and things stopped. I'm beginning to think successful Aneros use is a good indicator of mental well being. I have found D3 to be pretty effective in helping improve mood in the winter.

    I hope things improve for you!
  • While I don't mean to make it sound like I'm glad other people have this problem, I'm glad I'm not the only one, lol.  I'll look into the brain sync and see how that goes, but otherwise I guess I just need to find a way to clear my head before giving a session a shot.  Thanks, everyone.
  • cj187cj187
    Posts: 68
    Like others here I am also a long time user, who has only rarely hit Dry-O. I tend to get a lot of mind noise as I find relaxing really difficult. Yoga has helped in this regard. Deep breathing and meditating. Also guided sessions using the chat helped me massively, but to each their own. Hope you find your path.
  • So I've been playing around with the Brain Sync stuff, and I'm not sure if it's because of the Brain Sync or my determination to succeed, but I managed to have a pretty decent session.  There wasn't a super O, but I knew I got close.  Hopefully this means, with time, I'll be able to get back to where I was.
  • XilehXileh
    Posts: 392
    Stress + Mind Noise = DUD

    Three weeks, how dry I am.

    Xileh (dudmaster)