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This is gonna get embarrassing fast...
  • Sooo... I apparently forgot to put my helix back in my room after I got done cleaning it. My mom just found it and asked me what the white "squiggly thing" in the bathroom was. I looked at it and tried my best to seem unsure of what it was, and I may have fooled her for now, because she said, "Oh well it must be dads". The only problem is that she is going to talk to my dad, find out he dosent know what it is, look for it again, realize it is not there any more, and then knock on my door and ask me what the hell it is. 

    Any ideas on what I could say when that happens?
  • may i ask how old you are?

    would telling the truth be a problem?
    to avoid the whole conversation won't really work and they will find out what its for. i mean its pretty obvious. so be a man and talk to your mom - just like that.

    lies wont work either.
  • ineverknewineverknew
    Posts: 1,209
    I agree honesty is probably best, though this is coming from a man who has been using an aneros for over a year without telling his wife lol.  Maybe you could say you had seen a doctor for some type of prostate issue and he recommended this for therapy  :D  So its a medical issue, kinda personal MOM, LOL.  Anyways good luck!
  • @ineverknew
    ...just...why? you are going to be next. tell her tomorrow. 
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,492

    I would also advise you tell your mom the truth but it need not be a full dissertation about the purposes, functions and your personal reasons for using it.

    Mom : "What is this white squiggly thing in the bathroom?"
    Son : "Mom, that's a therapeutic massage tool, I just finished washing it. Don't worry I'll take care of it."

    The conversation may end right there but in case a continuation does occur and she pries for more detailed information, just tell her the simple truth, without further elaboration. Your mother probably loves you and cares far more about your personal health and well being than she does about your masturbatory activities. So you can always fall back on the reasoning that regular use of such massage devices has been shown to relieve the pan/discomfort for men of all ages suffering from non-bacterial prostatitis (see the Clinical Study). She would then have no reason to look negatively on your use of such a device for health reasons. She doesn't have to know that it is also a marvelous personal pleasure tool.
    image Good Vibes to You ! image
  • wow your story is  less embarrassing than mine was. I ordered mine online, I was lying in bed hungover when my mobile started to ring it was my mum. Turns out they had sent my package to my home address instead of my uni one, it had a syringe, lube and my helix inside. I dread to think what she thought when she opened it she called me up asking me if I knew anything about it as she thought someone sent it as a joke. I explained it to her mostly talking about the health benefits ect not the pleasure stuff. Anyways I turned the convo to uni ect and she must have felt so awkward as she asked if I was gay and I said no ect. she phoned up 20 mins later after she had clearly read up on it and she said she was fine with it. I must say thats a phone conversation I feel I will never be able to top, she is a good mum so she understood Im glad to have her as a mum, I make sure now where I send my orders now don't want to shock her again, she did almost come out with it to my sister to embarrass me once.
  • ClenchyClenchy
    Posts: 224
    You could tell her it's a handle that you can hook shopping bags onto, so they don't pinch your fingers. See if she'll bring it to the supermarket. :-?

    Seriously though, I'd probably give a vague indication that it's for private, personal use and hope to never speak of it again. Or deny everything, I don't know, it depends on your parents.
  • braveneworldbraveneworld
    Posts: 1,100
    If your parents are loving and not abusive Sit mum down and tell her the truth. It does not matter if you are hetro ,gay or dont know. Usually a mum has a more loving and level headed understanding of things.
    Just remember women talk about personal stuff to each other more than men so they are more open minded and used to it. They have all kinds of things inserted poked and prodded.
    You came from inside her and she has had people looking in her touching her as you were delivered.
    You let her know you would like it to remain private between a mother and her son.
    Go with the health benefits, show her the High Island health website.
    But depending on your relationship with her you can tell her it is pleasurable as well.

    It will be fine.
    Lets say it is not fine. Whats the worst that can happen she tells dad and you get it taken away.
    Theres always another one in the shop ;)

    They will still love you.
    My  wife found it exactly the same as you described. My heart dropped but I told the true. It was fine.
    I know my wife is not the same as my mum but the out come would be the same I am sure.

    @Rocketman10 ripper story I love it. Its seriously funny moments in life that you will always remember vividly!
  • legacelegace
    Posts: 129
    i would not tell her , surprissed to read that the above posters would tell the truth.
  • braveneworldbraveneworld
    Posts: 1,100
    @legace Thats a shame you feel that way. If you cant trust your mum then theres no one you can trust in the world. I guess it depends on your up bringing and situation.
    But thanks for your honest answer.
  • Well, she hasn't asked about it yet. I hope she doesn't remember. But if she does I'll just go on the high island website and explain that it is strictly for medical use. Which is only slightly untrue.

    @hakunamatata I am 19. It is not necessarily because of the awkward content that I don't want to tell her. It is because her personal views towards "gay" people are less than receptive. Now, I am not gay, and I have absolutely no problem with homosexuals what so ever. I feel however that if i were to have that talk with her, she would jump to conclusions.

    @ineverknew  If it does come to that, I will tell her about the health sides in particular. I can't help but feel that this is a conversation better left unsaid with my mother. I am working on telling my girlfriend at some point in the future, and using the same approach. I do have trouble peeing sometimes, and I'm sure I could sell her on that. 

    @Rumel Thanks for the cited study. I will definitely use that whenever the truth must be revealed. the thing is, my mom and I had a really good thing going. I have never heard her having sex once, nor has she EVER mentioned it to me, or even my dad for that matter. Also, she has NO knowledge of any of my sexual practices, and I REALLY liked it that way. I guess all good things must come to an end some day. 

    @Rocketman10 Dude, When I was buying my helix I feared that exact thing happening so badly. I can't imagine how badly your heart must have sunk when you got that call. We should get a story thread going on here. I'm sure there are plenty of other good stories from users like us.

    @Clenchy I just pictured my mom using it to hold a shopping bag. Haha that would be the greatest invention ever.

    @Bravenworld My parents are not exactly receptive to me receiving pleasure from anywhere other than my penis. Honestly, I've even gotten lectured about masturbating when I was younger. It is just not a conversation I would like to have with them. Read what I said to Rumel. We had a good thing going, no need to ruin it.

     @Legace I fully agree with you. It is just an odd thing to tell her. I am certainly not going to bring it up. 
  • Malmo1Malmo1
    Posts: 22
    I bought the helix because I have sometimes hard to get an erection and leaking urine.
    You can tell her that this is embarising to talk about, but I sometimes leaking urine when I sit down, cough and laugh. I looked it up and I can have less strength in my PC muscle. This device is like a workout tool for my muscle, to train my clench and to train strength in my PC muscle. It's embarising to feel when a couple of drops is leaking in my underwear, and feel the wet feeling, I then feel dirty. This is à problem for me and want to get over done with it. I just need to work it out a couple of days per week until its better.
  • yeah was a huge shock , never again
  • @MMO_RPGlol

    I am certainly not going to bring it up. 

    if you dont bring it up first it will be brought up some time for sure. you are in a whole different position in the conversation, when you talk to your mom first. as braveneworld said, sit her down and talk to her. she cant even imply you being gay, because you got the chance to tell her the same moment she tries to bring it up that you are not. you would be in an adult role.
    if mom and dad come in, sit down on your bed and start to ask questions they are kind of interrogating you and you will be trying to escape the conversation. this time you would most likely be in the child-role.

    you really seem fo fear whats going to be next. dont! if you do you already prove them that you feel like you did something wrong - keep that in mind.
  • 1.  You bought it for your girlfriend and were just cleaning it before you gave it to her.

    2.  You ordered some adult videos and they sent it as a "gift" and you were just checking it out.

    3.  You ordered a sex toy for your girlfriend (or yourself) and they sent the wrong thing.  If they ask where it went say you threw it out because it was the wrong thing and/or you were just embarrassed and wanted to get rid of it.  You could say it was supposed to be a vibrating model and you sent it back.  Or you already gave it to her.

    4.  It's a "part" for something non-sexual....something computer related, a personal appliance like a humidifier, or any other possible match.  Look through your room, closets, garage, basement, and see if anything makes sense.

    5.  As someone mentioned earlier say it's a therapeutic massage tool and most likely the conversation will end right there.

  • Posts: 0

    Honestly is the best policy.....Buuuuuut. I'm going to have to go with hamptonbdsm on this one. His first 3 respnses are excactly what I was thinking if I ever got into that sort of situation. I would be mortified!

    I don't even want to tell my girlfriend who is the most open and understanding woman. I would share anything with her...but that. and she has even tried to massage my P-state; which was really, really exciting. I just don't want her to know I have had a toy for a long time, to use by myself. I think I'm going to buy a MGX with her there, just to pretend it's something new, and then introduce the other models down the road, and say I enjoyed the frist one so much, I thought I would try another.

    Best of luck to you, ands please let us all know how it goes

  • legacelegace
    Posts: 129
    You also have the chance that if you tell her, eventually she will tell others in the family. One thing i learned, no one keeps a secret. Not sure of your age, but i`m guessing your under 21. A man under 21 putting something up his bum for his health is going to sound very strange to her and will most likely bring up other questions.

    If she brings it up, have an excuse ready. You already denied knowing what it was, so i`m thinking just telling her that your gf called asking for it the next day. If she asks what it was, say she wouldn't tell you. Tell your gf what happened but replace the aneros with something she will be more comfortable with, just incase your mom questions your gf.
  • Still no word about it. I think she must have forgotten. Ill keep everything you all said in mind and keep you all posted if there is any development about it. 
  • LinumLinum
    Posts: 227
    MMO_RPGlol - is it possible that your mother's comments give the clue?  "Oh well it must be dads".  This might be interpreted that she realised she'd gone too far in prying, and that she probably doesn't want to know any more, since she might not want to deal with the consequences.  She knows you are a sexually mature man now - there are times when mothers (if they are sensible) have to give up trying to know everything about one's life.  After all it is personal to you, and if she loves you she will ultimately respect that.

    Of course, I could be wrong, but if all else fails you could always resort to the HIH version of the truth.
  • i've already come up with an explanation should anyone ever find it (unlikely) i'll say it's a pressure point massager for my spine.
  • rookrook
    Posts: 1,833
    "Oh well it must be dads".

    No!  She knows differently.  Dad uses a PS-New.   :-))    
  • LinumLinum
    Posts: 227
  • legacelegace
    Posts: 129
    Tripjacks- That might backfire, they may want to borrow it.