Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Sign In with Google

In this Discussion

Needing advice and help.
  • TomasheenTomasheen
    Posts: 277
         Hi! I've been using the Aneros for about four years now  and I have had some wonderful experiences from time to time. No Super-Os though. Because it can be so good I cannot resist having another session, often too soon. I think maybe my prostrate gets tired. Is that possible?  The pleasure lasts sometimes no more than ten minutes and...nothing. A full stop.
         Before starting the Aneros, I was enjoying many hours of edging and gentle masturbation. I could reach to just before the point of "no return" and hold it there for ages with great pleasure and satisfaction. I could then, if I desired, release in a gorgeous ejaculation. Sometimes I didn't and returned later to get to edging again.
         Now I am unable to edge because when I get to "no return", I can't hold it. It goes straight into orgasm. I had a real unpleasant experience a few weeks ago the I tried to reach ejaculation, I couldn't get there and now, no matter what effort I make it won't happen. I have tried and tried to no avail and I am getting anxious and worried. (And sometimes a bit sore). I am not old but I am elderly. I dread the thought that it might be over for me. Please can anyone make comment or suggestion for me. Most grateful. Tomasheen.
  • isvaraisvara
    Posts: 1,035
    Hi, I am only in a primary rewrite stage. You say you are elderly but not old! Not sure where this places me. For many guys, as their approach elderly, the dread ED comes upon then. Sometimes this is caused by an underling medical condition, some times it just happens - hence the life saving Viagra and associates. My journey with Aneros has been to have prostate health and pleasure that is not dependent upon an erection and Ej. I feel that even though I am only just started (9mths) I am happy with my experiences. It was very hard to shift from erection only satisfaction to prostate satisfaction but I have done it. With V I can still do it with my partner. It may be you are trying too hard to revisit old patterns and causing discomfort. There may be a new experience ahead. These comments really reflect my journey but there may be something useful in them.
  • TomasheenTomasheen
    Posts: 277
    Thank you so much Isvara. You are probably right in saying that I am trying too hard.  I do find it distressing to think that penile orgasm may be becoming a thing of the past. It has been a joy and comfort to me for over 60 years.
    This forum is unique in that it is a fantastic source of information and comfort. Confort, because it is there that you can express your desires, worries and fears about your most intimate thoughts with the knowledge that there are others who share these very same thoughts and feelings.
    Thus it was that I felt a little disappointment that no one else except you had responded to my call for help. I am most grateful for your reply. To refer to your comment about ED; I have no problem there. I do use herbal assistance and this is very good. I just find it so diffcult to reach orgasm and ejaculation. Maybe patience will be the answer!

  • PommiePommie
    Posts: 1,008

    May I say that I feel for your predicament and only failed to respond earlier because I was unsure what I could say that would help to alleviate your problem.

    I believe that you and I are the same age and I would like to be able to say that all is not lost. I too have been feeling a lack of desire lately but I am sincerely hoping that it has just something to do with the time of year. Last week, in spite of having taken a Cialis tab, I was simply unable to achieve intercourse. (First time ever that this has happened)!

    I did wonder if Aneros activity was detracting from my normal sex life, so I willed myself to doing some edging practice to see if this would go some way to fixing the problem. I'm pleased to say that it did in the short term, and I was able to achieve two ejaculations within the space of thirty hours. That was mid-last week and I haven't had one since but I am beginning to feel a bit more positive about it now.

    Trouble is, I haven't had much success with Anerosessions since then! Wish me luck tonight!

    Seriously though, unless you have been feeling a steady drop-off in interest over the past few months, I suspect there is nothing seriously wrong. If you have been feeling this, perhaps it is time to have a chat with your quack. Don't let him tell you its just down to age. I simply don't believe in that one. There are men in this forum who are in their eighties!

    Good luck and keep us in touch.
  • isvaraisvara
    Posts: 1,035
    I am probably about the same age. It is amazing to see that we function differently. I am totally dependent on V or L for a meaningful erection. I can now only Ej in my partner. Things like edging or any thing by myself goes no where. Earlier this year my organisms were so intense as to be painful and heart stressing. I was really worried. And found my way to Aneros. These have truly been a God send. I function now so much better. I am on a plateau with my rewiring. I am content with the Aneros prostate connection. It trust it will further in time. But essentially I have my normal V supported sex and I have this new different and potentially fantastic new experience. My thought are as you say to ease off trying. and see if it will happen for you. Sure I miss the penile ejaculation that seemed to pump away forever (oh joy).. But I am so grateful that there a new thing that has amazing possibilities.
  • TomasheenTomasheen
    Posts: 277
    What wonderful response from Pommie and Isvava.  I am 75 and still needing the pleasures of sex. Is is a constant awareness and rarely out of mind. There was a time when I would have been totally ashamed of this and would never have mentioned it. Now I can and feel in good company in doing so. The aneros  has indeed opened up a whole new world of awesome prospects. I am so pleased you managed to achieve the state of edging Pommie. Even a little success is encouraging. It is/was for me a great comfort and I do miss it. I will try again but I can't even reach the plateau, let alone stay there. 
    I too Pommie wondered if the aneros sessions were a distraction from "normal" sex. You encourage me to try again.
    I am glad Isvara that you are able to Ej with your partner. This I haven't done for weeks now. Erections great but never get there.
    Thank you both for you helpful comments.

  • rookrook
    Posts: 1,833
    Hi Tomasheen,
         I too was and remain rather confused by 'old and elderly.'  So I'll assume that one is chronological and the other is behavioral or attitudinal.   I am perhaps the most 'chronologically blessed' in this thread and would offer that basic physical conditioning and diet are worth watching at "this age."  
         A very small increase in body fat can increase Aromatase action that converts our scant reserves of Testosterone into Estradiol.  -- --.   That yields a hammer blow to the mental and chemical processes which support both the erectile and mental processes involved in sexual response.
         Yesterday my Uro ran me through his annual questionnaire.   I mentioned that I was getting slow in my erectile response to Levitra and when in a hurry for sex, have been resorting to an injectible.   I didn't make a query regarding TRT but he mentioned that my shedding 10 pounds might make TRT un-necessary.
         Hang in there guy and if this doesn't improve, seek some professional help.

  • isvaraisvara
    Posts: 1,035
    Hi rook
    That weight information from your uro is so helpful. I looked up the reference - difficult to understand but enough to confirm the need for my personal weight control. I am not over weight but sense when I put on a bit of weight I am not working at my peak.
    It is also good news that some professionals take the "elderlies" need for sex seriously. It is actually more than that - its critical to our quality longevity.
    Also new research shows a male's healthy interest in sex improves productivity in our work and in our personal life.
  • TomasheenTomasheen
    Posts: 277
    I read the article on Aromatase. I found it too much to understand except that being over weight is not good for sexual functioning. I get so worked up when I hear people say "At your age!" 75. "Surely your not still needing that!" No doubt some people have a much lesser need. I have made several attempts to loose some weight but now, I will take it much more seriously. To add to what Isvara said, a healthy keen interest in sex also makes each day a delight to begin.
  • isvaraisvara
    Posts: 1,035
    I don't think they have a lesser need - I just think that they are running on half power and don't know it and of course with all the associated health problems.  Good sex would halve the elderlies health problems and save the governments budget!  So sad.
    I think weight is the challenge.  (A half starved rat seems to live longer  - staved of food that is)

  • May as well chime in....

       I'm 19 years old with 43 years experience  :))

      Before I had discovered the Aneros I used to use a 'massager wand' and
    would apply it directly to my penis.  As often as not I would not get
    hard but had an ejaculation anyhow.   So, an erection isn't necessarily
    necessary for an ejaculation.

       I often find myself getting very intense pleasure from Aneros sessions and most of the time never get hard.   For me ejaculation is not usually the goal, although once in a while I give in and rub one out to end the session, hard or not.

      I think a good part of getting older and having ED problems is the fact that testosterone levels tend to drop significantly for a lot of men.  Just the creator's little joke on us.  One thing to think about is if you sprout morning wood....  in other words does having to go pee after waking up cause an erection.   As I'm getting older my waking up and needing to go pee is seldom brought on by having an erection....    Although it still sometimes happens but that is less and less frequent.

      For sure I would talk to a doc if this bothers you.   It could be significant of other things going on in your body that you may want to know about.

      Just my 2 hundredths of a cent's worth.

  • TomasheenTomasheen
    Posts: 277
    Hello DarkRider! 19! Oh shit! You lucky guy!  I'm away at the far end. Having an erection when waking up is very common indeed. It doesn't make peeing easy (aiming it!). Isvara's last remark made me shudder. "....running on half power and don't know it".   That realisation came as quite a jolt. It is true. But surely there must be some way of recharging the batteries?! eg. Do more exercise; eat less; take some multi-vitamans; stop worrying,etc.go get a testosterone boost from the doc. 
    Attitude also plays an important role. The worst thing to do is to sit back and think "That's it. Over. Forget it.... sit down  and watch  Kojak and Ironside...or The Fall Guy!  Make arrangements with the funeral director.
    I love all your comments... even 2 hundereths of a cent's worth. They all add to the sense of being "in understanding, sympathetic company.
  • isvaraisvara
    Posts: 1,035
    Hey Tomasheen- if you know about it then you are running "half full". Reverse the focus!

    Disclaimer: I am very much in the rewiring stage,

    Some thoughts.
    The faux- estrogens in our environment gobble up our diminishing testosterone.
    Males now have less testosterone than they did 50 years ago. (And less sperm I believe)
    If some Drs think its okay for a 30 year old to have testosterone levels of a 90 yr old, I shudder to think what levels are okay for a 70yr old.
    HRT is an option to compensate but would need to in the context of other aspects of our individual health. And regular amount are probably better than a shot.
    Try to avoid getting frustrated. I think if we are Ej dependent we are not letting the next step to evolve.
    My Dr is happy to prescribe a testosterone cream, and is happy for my T levels to be mid range. My PSA levels, age related, are very good.
    With low T level I sort of drop my bundle.
    It may be your short pleasure time is T related.

    Hope some of this is helpful. It is so good to have this forum with such an age and 'O' level experience.

  • LinumLinum
    Posts: 227
    This is an interesting discussion guys.

    I wonder if any of you have ever tried ejaculatory abstinence as a way of building your sexual energies?  

    Is it possible that concentrating on being able to ejaculate is depleting your reserves too much?

  • TomasheenTomasheen
    Posts: 277
    Isvara, you have again hit upon something that has troubled me for a while. Is it possible that rewiring to the Aneros
    experience has in some way taken me away from the traditional path and as it were, closed off the circuit. I don't want to loose the pre-Aneros pleasures just by rewiring. It has been very noticeable that the decline in traditional methods seems to have started about a year after I began the Aneros sessions. Does anyone have an idea about this? 
    By the way Linum, I don't have to abstain. I just can't do it! But thanks for the suggestion.

    PS I have had regular injections (every three weeks) of HRT Sustanon 250 for a number of years and because of supply difficulties, have been put on Nebido 1000ml every ten weeks; starting three weeks ago. Thank you for your kindness.
  • isvaraisvara
    Posts: 1,035
    It may be that the beginning with Aneros coincided with a change in the traditional sex release that you were used to. They may not actually be directly related. For me after a incredibly sexy peak 18 month ago I went into a steady decline until I started with Aneros. In the last couple of months I have picked up again much to my surprise. Sometimes we are guided to a new experience because the old is diminishing. It is a subconscious adjustment if we are open to it. Without Aneros my life would be a bit sad - I.e I would let myself get old!
    Mind you my Ej is not every time I have trad sex.
  • rookrook
    Posts: 1,833
    Penis Health:

    Wow, this thread is really germane to much of my experience with E.D. over the last 13 years. I think I've hit most of the bumps in the road that are mentioned here.  And, like isvara it's been a slow roller coaster ride. 

    I know severe Early Ejac. (aka P.E.) and related that to lack of a firm erection.  My Uro once mentioned that P.E. seems to be related to glans hypersensitivity in men who aren't erecting fully.

    I suspect that poor penis health makes me less sensitive to Testosterone during the natural erectile process (the mental shot of nitric oxide isn't working as well as it used to.)  That, coupled with a reduced 'T' level (now in the high 300's) is causing me to be slow in responding to Levitra.  Doc just switched me back to Viagra.

    I think that, Anerosians in general tend to become Penis-phobic when first taught to, "keep their hands off."  As one of the club, I've tended to place less emphasis on general Penis Health.  This thread has been a good reminder of what I've been taught by my Urologist.  

    When I had my first Uro visit for E.D. some eleven years ago (I went there in tears) he handed me an inexpensive penis pump and told me to insure that I had 20 minutes of erect time each day.  (Nocturnal erections and sex count toward that total)

    Now retired, I've been lax about maintaining my morning penis pump ritual during tooth brushing, shaving and showering. 

    Tks for sharing guys.  Looks like it's appropriate to get back to basics and indulge in a bit of 'shaft worship.'  :)

    Thanks guys for shariing !!
  • LinumLinum
    Posts: 227
    Tomasheen - well it was just a thought, and some of the contributors to this thread did mention struggling to ejaculate.  When energy is this low, I just thought it might be an idea to not ejaculate, and store up sexual energy instead - but I can see it will not work for everyone, especially if they don't already ejaculate.  Good luck to all you guys.
  • TomasheenTomasheen
    Posts: 277
    A very kind and generous thought. Thank you Linum. I did have a very pleasant love-making session with my partner this evening. We had intercourse and though I didn't come, we enjoyed it all very much. I am so blessed with her. She gets great pleasure in pleasuring me. with both her hands gently stimulating my penis and scrotum similtainiously? I just sigh and groan into a blissful trance. In many ways it is more satisfying that my Aneros sessions. 
  • isvaraisvara
    Posts: 1,035
    Thanks rook, I have read to have daily non-viagra erection is important. I did not think a pump induced erection counted. Very good info. Tried - not going for tight but did drench the P with fresh blood.
    I think there are several agendas here I will try to separate then.
  • XilehXileh
    Posts: 392
    Hmmm, I don't equate to old yet, but heading toward experienced. I have suffered from low testosterone for years. Due to very high PSA, my doctors agree that HRT is not a good idea. It's been an adjustment to not ejaculate during love making. I' m learning to take pleasure in pleasuring my partner. Ejaculation doesn't happen every time, but enough that when it does, it's cherished.

    Usually, V and L work. For the first time this week it didn't. I'm hoping it was stress which also impacts my sessions. I credit my sessions for helping to maintain an erotic attitude which would be suffering by now. I'm feeling very excited and recharged by my "new" discovery.

  • TomasheenTomasheen
    Posts: 277
    Your post is very touching Isvara. It is so open and honest. Your attitude is to be commended. Taking pleasure in pleasuring so so rewarding. I am excited for you too! Keep going. Tomasheen.
  • I have suffered from ED for a number of years due to many years of Diabetes.  I don't even miss ejaculation much since Mangina and Aneros, either each alone or together give me all the self-pleasuring I need.  I have never been married nor partnered, and am newly exploring my neglected life-long attraction to men, so have had some sexual experiences.  I can get hard, if desired for play with a guy, with my pump and cock ring to hold it. Ejaculate then (have only experienced oral so far.)  Very seldom do traditional masturbation alone anymore.
  • Tomasheen:  Just looked at some of the replys....  "  I'm 19 years old with 43 years experience  "  that translates to 62....   I'm a geezer but don't feel like one.