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Still struggling with arousal
  • tairytairy
    Posts: 51
    I'm continuing to make great progress in my Aneros sessions (most recently, I've started having drops of precum appear during every session, getting pretty consistent involuntaries, and at least a few p-waves per session). Despite this, however, I'm still ending every session with a super-T. My arousal builds and builds over the course of anywhere from 30 minutes to a couple hours, but in the end I always seem to find myself perched painfully on the edge of something big, yet unable to continue over it.

    It's an extreme test of willpower in these moments not to touch my penis and masturbate traditionally. Pretty much anytime I start having feelings from the Aneros, I get an erection along with them. I know all about the need to de-emphasize the penis during these sessions, and I have, but it still seems to me I'm battling my erection and my instincts toward it more than some guys on this site. Maybe that has to do with being in my 20s.

    The good thing is I have made a lot of progress in this area, but all the reports of guys remaining flaccid during sessions baffles me. Even if I'm just mentally aroused, let alone feeling the Aneros physically, pretty much guarantees an erection. If I'm highly aroused, and the Aneros is generating p-waves and involuntaries, I've got some of the strongest erections I've ever had. To the point where I have to be careful about how I'm lying down or I'll get too much stimulation there, to the detriment of the Aneros.

    Has anyone else successfully gotten around this issue? Do I just work on willing myself to not masturbate, no matter how torturous it is? I'm not into bondage or being teased mercilessly, which is what this feels like. My sessions start off quite peaceful and relaxing but ultimately they end up tense and painful because of being denied any sort of release.
  • ten_s_nutten_s_nut
    Posts: 888
    Hello, tairy.

    It's been almost 18 months since I started with Aneros and the problem you're facing is one that confronted me constantly during my second week. I'd be hard as a rock and all tensed up with P-waves rolling through, but no O. I'm trying to remember exactly what worked for me to transition to dry-Os at that point. As I recall, it was learning to relax internally for a long enough time for the ejaculation spasm to surge. Then, it felt like a standard O, but all that came out was a small amount of clear fluid. The dry-O ejac spasm can't happen if the PC muscle is constantly all tensed up. There has to be an "unwind" before the windup, to make a somewhat imprecise analogy.

    That answer begs the question of how do you relax inside your pelvic region while you're fully aroused. I did it with controlled breathing, which moved my focus from my dick to my diaphragm. Initially, I could only do that for a few seconds, but that was enough. These days, I can move focus around for extended periods and you will be able to do that too, after a lot of practice. For "how to" on controlled breathing, google "Yoga breathing" and/or "Zen breathing."

    Best Regards,

  • TeederTeeder
    Posts: 31
    I too sat on that fence for a very long while and only recently managed to cross over to what I would term as my 1st real Super O. I thought that this was going to easy when I first started as on the 2nd time I used my Helix, I got an all body feeling of euphoria and then some great surging dry O's. I had thought that I as well, had been awoken in my sleep by them, but as I think about all the times that I have had dry O's and now just recently a Super, I have been very relaxed, but not sleeping. I think sometimes where we struggle is in the fact that even though this isn't supposed to involve the penis we still try to manage whats happening like it does. I have found that actually I need some contact with my penis and putting my boxers back on after insertion gives just alittle bit of stimulation to the glans and adds a focal point of pleasure when the pc muscles start to spasm. Other then that, I just focus and just enjoy what feelings the Aneros/prostate contact generates. I found the most progress when I did just what the HypnoAneros session says to do, surrender, lose any and all expectations(you won't try to force it if you do) relax, and just let go. The "do nothing approach" works extremely well for me but I will say that you have to be very relaxed and intouch as to how the Aneros is contacting your prostate. Once I figured out how to focus that contact and those feelings ... WOW. I wonder sometimes if we actually try to over think it, instead of just letting it happen. Just a thought, hope this helps, and good luck.

  • Teeder
    I agree that many Aneros users, especially newbies, seem to analyse (interesting that the word contains anal) the process a lot. I think that is the nature of the male. Maybe it is important to be in touch with our more feeling feminine side. Ying/Yang, and all that. Is observation different than analysis?
  • DarkEngineDarkEngine
    Posts: 250
    This is more or less the scenario I'm in at the moment. I'm able to embrace powerful surging sensations at the expense of my dick and PC muscles literally stealing the show. Never really feel sensations from the anus or prostate (The latter I still have no idea on what it feels like).

    This morning there was interestingly a drop of precum out of no where - and it's as ten_s_nut mentioned; my dick wasn't tense at that time. I built up powerful sensations and boom - it just came.
  • TeederTeeder
    Posts: 31
    But thats exactly what you have to do. Arousal doesn't seem to really be the issue as I see it. I think what many are struggling with is the inability to just lose control and enjoy the ride. The best thing you can do for yourself is learn about you. What arouses you,what lube works/feels best, what atmosphere/time of day, light/dark, works best for you,what position generates the most pleasure, what Aneros feels best, and so on. These are all factors in the experience and carry more importance if you are still traveling your way down the path to a super O. I Also think some of the biggest killers of any kind of enjoyment is impatience/expectations, sleep and relaxation levels. If I'm too tired I lose focus, if I lose focus well then... I have found that I can slip into some very enjoyable sensations just by "checkin out the scenery along the way" as it were. Don't we want these pleasures to last as long as they can? So let them, don't rush it, enjoy the build up and wait and see whats at the end. It's like taking a relaxing Sunday drive, it doesn't always lead to anywhere special, but it's still fun to take the ride. Ive been doing this for about 2 years now,I haven't orgasmed everytime and don't expect to do so, but I can say that it has been enjoyable in one way or another, about 95% of the time.
    I also just recently told my wife about my Aneros use as well(confession good for the soul so type thing). I will say that I didn't exactly hide it from her (I sleep in one room, she in another)but I didn't tell her about it right away either. It comes down to the straight vs gay hangup. I have friends that are gay, male and female, who basically say the same thing about anal play. Gay is not HOW you have sexual relations, but WHO you have sexual relations with. Well, anyway, she told me that she was a little threatened by it, and said she was afraid that I would what her to experiment with anal play. I told here no, and that this was something Ive wanted to explore and didn't know how to broach the subject with her. Since the rewiring phase I do last longer in bed, cum harder and with more volume, and since telling the wife, shes allowed me to bring it to bed a few times(VERY LUCKY MAN).
    Anyways I guess the point that I was trying to make is that we miss out on alot when we are not letting go, enjoying the whole ride, and just looking to the finish.

  • Amen, Brother Teeder, amen. So well said. And you are indeed a lucky man with such a caring wife who might feel threatened, but is able to say so. Good communication is 99.5 of a relationship.
  • DarkEngineDarkEngine
    Posts: 250
    Anyways I guess the point that I was trying to make is that we miss out on alot when we are not letting go, enjoying the whole ride, and just looking to the finish.

    Coincidentally... :P

    Last night, 'do nothing' kicked in for real. I just laid there, did nothing, and adrenaline was building and building. It'd stop because arousal would eventually get through to the PC muscles and show-stealing would happen again.

    The thing that gave it away was what sensation I was feeling, when the Aneros was in compared to when it wasn't. There was feeling around the abdomen like a fullness. I'd just breath and adrenaline (P-Waves?) would build up. I'd try to stay as neutral as possible and not do anything except concentrate and focus on how good those feelings feel - not at all being afraid of them (which I think was the big roadblock all along) and as Teeder says, just enjoying the ride and seeing how far it goes. It's almost like an awesome game of distance.

    Sensation was specifically around the abdomen though, with no sensations in the anus, perineum or anything else.
  • twlltintwlltin
    Posts: 603
    [QUOTE=DarkEngine;47620]Sensation was specifically around the abdomen though, with no sensations in the anus, perineum or anything else.

    Everybody is different. You may even in time, as you progress, find that the sensations change their focus.
  • Bobby OBobby O
    Posts: 20
    [QUOTE=tairy;47597] I know all about the need to de-emphasize the penis during these sessions, and I have, but it still seems to me I'm battling my erection and my instincts toward it more than some guys on this site. Maybe that has to do with being in my 20s.

    The breakthrough for me came when I finally realized that in order to maximize my aneros experience I had to "un-learn" my typical sexual response (i.e. penis focused) and "re-learn" how to respond to my aneros. I know that the idea of "re-wiring" has been discussed ad nauseam on the site, but it really is true. Relax through those intense moments when you want to grab your penis and realize that this is a part of the training process. The rewards for your patience will be more than worth the current frustration. (The fact that you are such a sexually-charged guy only gives me more confidence that great things are just around the corner for you. Hang in there.)