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Relative newbie currently leveling off, need advice
  • tairytairy
    Posts: 51
    Hey guys,

    First off I just want to say this forum is an amazing resource and without it there's no way I would've tried the Aneros let alone had the level of success I've experienced so far. I'm only 4 months in, and already it's been a really fascinating and worthwhile addition to my sexuality. So - thanks!

    That having been said, I'm currently "stuck" in my progress - I know you prefer to look at it as a journey and not fixate on things like the Super O, but I feel like I've finally hit a barrier that I can pretty easily identify so it might be something you've encountered before.

    I'm the type of Aneros user that definitely experiences hard erections throughout usage. Not constant, but intermittent. Not much precum to speak off, at most just a drop that stays at the tip of the glans. When I get these erections, they often steal the focus away from what the Aneros is doing and the sensations it's causing.

    Lying on my back, I try to relax as much as possible, do deep breathing, close my eyes, and focus all my attention on the subtle sensations the Aneros begins to generate. I've got this part down pretty well - within a few minutes I start to feel the stirrings of very pleasurable sensations, and I resist doing anything like clamp down to try to further them on my own. I just focus my breathing and find that this alone does plenty. However, as the sensations build more and my excitement and arousal increase, I start getting an erection which quickly diminishes the sensations I had just been experiencing. It's like I go numb where the Aneros is, even if I just ignore my penis. After a few minutes, the erection will subside and I can usually start the process all over again, but I never get the sensations to build past this initial erection phase.

    As far as the terms used here, I've definitely experienced what I believe to be P-waves, but no mini-O's, dry orgasms or Super O's. I've had involuntaries a couple times, with deliberate clenching of various muscles down there, but that's about it.

    I'm also pretty sure my Aneros (I use the Helix model) isn't hitting my sweet spot. I've never noticed an effect from it, even if I move it left to right and try to figure out if anything feels different. If I press my finger around down there and alter the vertical location, I start to feel a little something as I get closer to my balls (still in the center), but I don't know if that's really it or not.

    Last thing, I've been using various lubes the past four months (ID Glide, Climax Bursts, a few others) and have just received my first shipment of AAA Shea Butter which I'm planning to use in the next session, so I'll be sure to post what effect that has on my session.

    Thanks in advance for any advice you guys can offer on the erection thing. It's really frustrating!
  • Hello, tairy.

    I know the "transfer effect" you've experienced, when the boner seems to dominate everything and you can't feel your prostate. As many have said, Aneros is largely a mental game and this is one more hurdle you can use your mind to jump over. Next time you get an erection during a session, mentally take stock of all the internal sensations in the pelvic region. I found that there's a good feeling associated with the action of the Aneros on the "back side" of the penis, inside my body. Focusing on that, the Aneros intensifies the erection and pleasure, resulting in a Dry-O after a few minutes. The great thing about it is repeatability. 3 or 4 Os in a row are easy, once you get the hang of it.

    Best Regards,

  • tairytairy
    Posts: 51
    Thanks for the reply, ten_s_nut. Your advice has been very helpful to me - I'm no longer encountering my erections as a roadblock along the way.

    I also wanted to mention that I'm now experiencing the P-tab as a pleasant thing in itself during my sessions. I think two factors helped: first, I bought a Progasm and felt that the larger, rounder P-tab on that device was definitely hitting me in the right spot. I became aware of what sensations to 'look for,' so to speak, and therefore more easily perceived them even with just the Helix.

    Second, when I sometimes start to lose sensation in my prostate/anus area as my erection hardens and excitement is mounting, I noticed I can focus on the presence of the P-tab and once I consciously acknowledge it, it actually starts the feedback process of my prostate/anus/penis tingling and feeling sort of electrified. This has only lasted for a few moments at a time so far but by then I've usually recovered the other sensations and can keep building. If anything the novelty of that sensation probably causes my mind to focus on it too much and it goes away, but once I've gotten a little more used to it I hope it will keep up for longer and eventually lead me into the involuntaries cycle and - fingers crossed - mini Os and the Super O.

    But I'm becoming a lot more relaxed in my sessions, I'm letting go of expectations because I've reached a level of experience and comfort with the Aneros that I'm confident any session will still be really pleasant as a baseline. I'm not trying to make anything happen, I'm just happily exploring what comes each time. I've also noticed the rewiring process working on me, I've had the sensation of being 'ass horny' a few times, although unfortunately so far this has occurred at times when I couldn't begin a session (i.e. during the day when others are around).

    Thanks again for your reply because as you can see, it's definitely nudged me along in my journey!

    Edit: One more thing. Maybe this will be helpful to someone else who needs to work on their relaxation. I've started sometimes telling myself not only am I not going to do any contractions, I'm going to actively try to avoid feeling anything! I imagine a scenario where I've got the Aneros inserted and I'm just trying to keep it together and act normal. This reverse approach usually results in me immediately feeling sensations that are far from normal :)
  • ScottDScottD
    Posts: 25
    Now that's familiar. I pretty much just had to work on through it. For about a month or so, an erection would just kill the whole session. It's like everything around back just shut off. Eventually, though, my body started listening to what I was trying to tell it and erections served, if anything, to intensify the sensations from the Aneros. Hang in there, and definitely give ten-s-nut's suggestion a try.
  • tairytairy
    Posts: 51
    I'm good with the erections thing now - hasn't hindered me the last several sessions. But I've hit on another problem, I just don't seem to be having good sessions at the moment. I was so close for a while; I thought for sure a major breakthrough was just a few sessions away. But lately I'm peaking early with some p-waves and then never really going anywhere afterwards. I think I'm going to take a few days off before giving it another go. I've been doing sessions pretty much every day so maybe I'm overdoing it and desensitizing myself. I usually have at least one round of traditional masturbation as well...
  • twlltintwlltin
    Posts: 603
    Tairy. We all have dud sessions at some point. Enjoy the sensations you are getting, relax and don't worry about the rest.
  • tairytairy
    Posts: 51
    I wanted to update this thread since I just hit a milestone of some sort! For the first time in 9 months of Aneros use, I had a real physical 'event' happen - I've had p-waves before and really pleasant sensations in my anus/rectum/prostate area, but nothing more.

    Well, about 30 minutes ago I was having a session and I just got extremely horny at a certain point. I was about an hour into the session at this point, not doing anything deliberate other than breathing slow and some occasional nipple stimulation. I confess I was watching some porn, which I often do during sessions, and it's like my arousal hit some kind of breaking point. I arched my back and my stomach expanded and I felt something starting to come over me. A second later, it was like my body started to convulse a bit, with my anus contracting hard. It happened so suddenly and felt so different that I must say I didn't find it all that pleasant. It actually felt kind of like when you throw up - that internal heaving of every muscle in your body trying to force something out. I thought for sure I was going to push my aneros right out of me, but I put my hand down to feel it and it was inside as much as ever, maybe more.

    I tried to stay calm and figured I was probably in the zone now, so there might be more to follow... but my horniness and need for release got the best of me (I had a rock hard erection during this whole sequence of events) and I finally gave in a masturbated to a traditional finish with the Helix still inside, as I often do. A good orgasm, but nothing mindblowing. However, I'm really excited about this breakthrough! I know that next time the same thing happens to just relax and go with it and not to worry about anything. I've been on the precipice of something for what feels like months now, and it's very gratifying to have finally crossed that line, even if in my excitement I didn't glean much pleasure the first time around.

    Based on what I've described, would you guys categorize that as a mini-O? Or maybe an anal orgasm?
  • slimjmslimjm
    Posts: 577
    Hey, tairy. I'm mid-aged and out of personal religious reasons don't use porn for arousal but but from your experiences several things come to mind. I don't think you're are a roadblock actually and you're taking the right approach with the relaxation and letting involuntary events drive the process. I obtained the best success getting O's to come by doing gentle PC muscle contractions, no more in intensity than what you'd do to gently cut off urine flow midstream all the while tickling my nipples which I see you are doing.

    Also, I had to try other massagers than the Helix I started out with too. At 6'2" 180lbs it almost but wouldn't completely "reach the spot" inside. The longer thinner Eupho does that the best for me. I pay no attention to the degree of erection I'm experiencing during any phase of the process but like most guys, right before and going into the buildup to a involuntary contraction and big orgasm a strong erection occurs which fades away only as the O itself (which can last from 1 to 3 minutes) starts to fade. Often going into that big buildup, especially with the the first O of a session, I'll get a wave of nausea that sweeps over my abdomen as the buildup starts coming on strong.

    Like most guys, all this works best for me starting a couple days after I've had traditional sex with my wife but not too well when a number of days more have gone by and I'm really horny for action with her. It's like the drive for traditional sex is too strong and distracting at that point. For me, it's been a great way to maintain sexual sensitivity in between times with her at this stage of life when you don't have sex as often as you once did and to promote prostate health and avoid prostate congestion.

    Don't sweat the feeling of lack of progress that comes from time to time with this. It sounds like you're on track.
  • tairytairy
    Posts: 51
    Thanks for the advice, slimjm.

    In my sessions since the last post, I've been having the same thing happen as I described above. I must be really close to crossing over now. When it happened again (this sudden tension/contracting) I just rode it out and sure enough my Helix was expelled right away. Again it wasn't particularly pleasant - and of course, I'd rather the Aneros stay inside so that the contractions can continue building!

    Has anyone else passed through this particular phase?
  • twlltintwlltin
    Posts: 603
    My first time of getting the shakes caused the Helix to be expelled violently. I ended up in a fit of giggles from that. It's never happened since.
  • ineverknewineverknew
    Posts: 1,209
    hey tairy, sounds like we have been at this about the same amount of time. I use the prograsm myself and have experienced the expelling a couple of times. It does pass. A while back i had thought, i, myself had come to a stand-still with progress and had come very close to trying another model. But i stuck with it and its amazing how no two sessions are the same. I have come to acknowledge that as everyone says, its definately a journey. Things are always changing, feelings and such. Im not sure where i am at on my journey but suffice to say things just keep getting better and better.
  • Erections kind of ruin things for me as well. Although it's difficult for me to sustain p-waves in general because I think I try too hard.
  • DarkEngineDarkEngine
    Posts: 251
    P-waves are a roulette, and they're somewhat rare in occurrence for me. It's a tingly feeling shooting around my upper leg near the pelvic although that's probably not an actual p-wave. The problem I have is that using the Aneros more and more numbs my body (it gets 'use' to it) to p-waves and so my sessions get worse and increasingly boring over time. Be glad you're not in the same boat ;)
  • tairytairy
    Posts: 51
    Just wanted to give another update. I had my best session so far last night and I'm still excited about it today - not in a 'buzzing' sense, but just satisfied. It was over 2 hours long and definitely the closest I've gotten yet. I had the most leaking so far (still nothing huge, but a sizable sum pooling around the head and starting to trickle down), and strong involuntaries at a few points. That, plus the most I've ever felt energy moving to a specific place - around my buttocks/anus - and feeling like I can almost guide it a bit. I lost my concentration a little while after it happened and didn't make it back there again, but I have a real good idea of what I'm doing now and I'm confident it won't be long. Ultimately it really does come down to relaxing, letting go, learning to be more passive, or at least actively receptive.

    All that, and I also finally can really feel my prostate when it's being massaged. It's a sensation I've experienced many times before, but it wasn't until last night that I realized that's what it was, if that makes sense. Once I made the connection and became aware of it, the sensations intensified and built immediately. Wow!

    A couple things to note. One is that I'm now doing almost a light push out with my PC & rectal muscles, which is my default position. I think I have a natural tendency to tense up slightly when the Aneros is in, and this is a way of gently resetting to a more neutral place. Very quickly I start to have sensations I associate more with traditional hands-free sex - a sense of things happening of their own accord, where I'm aware of my penis but not directly affecting it myself. It's a very free, almost vulnerable feeling in a way, but wonderful. I don't know if that will make sense to anyone else or not. I suppose it's the beginning of the 'point of no return' sensation, that faint tingling you get where you know something's happening.

    The other interesting thing is (and I apologize in advance to those who don't necessarily like or approve of porn, but it's a big part of my current sessions) I was watching a video where a couple was having anal sex. The woman suddenly said to the man, "I think I'm going to cum," and the camera panned down to show her muscles tensing and her lower torso beginning to shake. Seeing that instantly triggered something similar to happen to me, which was the strongest involuntary spasms I've ever gotten with the Aneros. It didn't lead to anything beyond that, other than adding to my overall arousal because I'd just passed another big milestone. Not long after that I laid on my side and relaxed then did some gentle contractions, alternating PC and rectal, then stopped for a moment and suddenly felt that huge surge of energy mentioned above.

    One other very important thing is, I had been browsing some erotic images and videos at different points throughout the evening. Nothing too focused, but just once in a while I was looking with the plan to have a session later on. Around 2AM, I looked again and had a very strong arousal response right away. I guess you could call that the 'whisper,' but it was a lot more insistent! I began my session after that.

    Bottom line is, I feel like I'm finally getting a really good handle on this thing! More than ever, it feels like only a matter of time for me now before something big happens. Even where I'm at is pretty great, however. I'm going to be staying at a friend's house tonight and so I won't be able to have another session, as much as I'd like to, so it will be another day or two before I get a chance to revisit things with what I've learned. Damn, I could really go for a session right now after typing all this.

    Thanks again to everyone on the forum who's been giving great advice.
  • tairy
    I always have lots of pre-cum if that's what you mean. I suffer from ED. Recently I discovered mangina, and it has enhanced my sessions. Really lots of juice with this. I did a search on forum and here it is: