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Aneros and relationships
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    Hi,

    This could be a 30 min documentary, but I have to be brief. I am once again on the dating scene. I have been quite casual and non-caring about whether I get a date or not, because I know once I'm in a relationship, anerosing will be almost impossible.

    It takes me about 3-4 weeks of non ejaculation to be aroused enough to have even a hit or miss aneros session. And in a relationship, 3 weeks of not ejaculating is hard to achieve. There is also the fact that sessions may need to be hidden, that you have less time to have them, etc.

    I am not interested in Super-Ts or sex with aneros until I have trained myself to become multiorgasmic or even singlularly via the prostate.

    How do you guys manage your relationships and Aneros sessions?

    Is it more feasible to to just wait til your in a sexless relationship in your 50's and then just do it then?

    I can't imagine having sex and not ejaculating for weeks.
  • Hello, MyTurn.

    I'm not sure to how begin a response to your post. The first thing that comes to mind is your implicit assumption that everybody who uses Aneros conserves semen for weeks at a time to maximize effects. On the contrary, I'll wager that most guys here don't withhold ejaculation for more than a few days, if that. I know I don't. For me, there's no apparent link between frequency of ejac and Super-Os.

    And no, just because a married or partnered couple is in their fifties, sixties or seventies doesn't automatically mean their relationship is sexless. There are many Forum members in their later decades with very active sex lives, though I understand you might be grossed out picturing it.

    It's also possible to have multiple dry orgasms with your partner if conserving semen is useful to you. That way, you can have your cake and eat it too, so to speak.

    Best of luck to you in the dating scene.

    Cheers,

    Dave
  • rookrook
    Posts: 1,604
    Hey My Turn,
    Some experiences:
    -- we started with the Helix as a sex toy and used it during foreplay and couples sex, long before I got involved in the Journey.
    -- it took me about four months to make it through the Semen retention phase of my Journey. It was a rough time since my wife valued/values my ejaculating during sex.
    -- it's good to discard any idea that everything you do or like should be aimed at pleasihg a female.

    Once you dry-O with some repeatability semen retention will proably be unneeded to build lust for a session. (You're gonna not just "like" to have Aneros sessions, you are going to "crave" them just as you crave sex.) The artificiality of the situation will vanish and you can pick and choose between human sex and Dame Aneros as you and your partner see fit.

    As early as possible, incorporate an Aneros or Peridise into your foreplay-intromission-copulation routine. You need a helping g/f who can understand how much this adds to your pleasure and enjoyment and who accepts it as part of your heterosexual makeup. Show her or read with her excerpts from Mantak Chia's, Taoist Secrets of Love -- Cultivating Male Sexual Energy. This may help her understand where you are coming from. Ask what she thinks about some of the nitty-gritty details in the book, particularly what she thinks of the copulation and thrusting patterns Chia suggests to forestall ejaculation or avoid it all together.

    Let her know when you dry-O by vocalization (just don't make it ear splitting).

    Be sensitive to her attentiveness or concern regarding your Aneros hygiene habits. My wife can smell a dirty Aneros across the room. Use lubes you like that also do not 'radiate' Aneros stink. She will check your fingernails -- keep them clipped and clean. Do a few contractions for her while her hand is on the tail of the Aneros. Keep this fun yet be serious in expressing your desire for prostate stim.

    If she opts to find another guy, good. Having to live with someone who dislikes your sensual desires would be, unwise.

    Oh yes, my 'bride' and I are in our late '70s. We are both in 'above average' physical shape but are not blessed with bodies that regularly visit a plastic surgeon. As ten notes, folks of this age do not aspire to be porn stars.
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    [QUOTE=ten_s_nut;102472]Hello, MyTurn.

    I'm not sure to how begin a response to your post. The first thing that comes to mind is your implicit assumption that everybody who uses Aneros conserves semen for weeks at a time to maximize effects. On the contrary, I'll wager that most guys here don't withhold ejaculation for more than a few days, if that. I know I don't. For me, there's no apparent link between frequency of ejac and Super-Os.


    But it does matter how much arousal you build up. I am not a "horn dog" and can go for weeks without feeling the need for release. Most times, I only masturbate for the orgasm, or, sometimes, because of the knocking-out, putting myself to sleep chemical aftereffects.



    And no, just because a married or partnered couple is in their fifties, sixties or seventies doesn't automatically mean their relationship is sexless. There are many Forum members in their later decades with very active sex lives, though I understand you might be grossed out picturing it.

    lol. True. I generalized.


    It's also possible to have multiple dry orgasms with your partner if conserving semen is useful to you. That way, you can have your cake and eat it too, so to speak.

    Best of luck to you in the dating scene.



    Explain that one. Dry Os with partner. Is that with the Aneros? Wouldn't using your penis force you into a penile orgasm? Do you have to have rewired first?

    And thanks for the wellwish.
  • MyTurn
    Posts: 447
    [QUOTE=rook;102474]Hey My Turn,
    Some experiences:
    -- we started with the Helix as a sex toy and used it during foreplay and couples sex, long before I got involved in the Journey.


    What was the effect of it on your sexual pleasure (penile and prostatic?), on your performance (quicker orgasm?) and type of ending (dry-O?, multiple?, penile?)


    -- it took me about four months to make it through the Semen retention phase of my Journey. It was a rough time since my wife valued/values my ejaculating during sex.



    Retaining semen with an Aneros inserted while having sex with your wife? Wow. Talk about willpower.


    -- it's good to discard any idea that everything you do or like should be aimed at pleasihg a female.



    Amen.


    Once you dry-O with some repeatability semen retention will proably be unneeded to build lust for a session. (You're gonna not just "like" to have Aneros sessions, you are going to "crave" them just as you crave sex.) The artificiality of the situation will vanish and you can pick and choose between human sex and Dame Aneros as you and your partner see fit.



    That's the issue. If I can't dry-O alone, how will I while using my penis and having sex with an Aneros inserted. And that's if I can get away with inserting it without a girl knowing.


    As early as possible, incorporate an Aneros or Peridise into your foreplay-intromission-copulation routine. You need a helping g/f who can understand how much this adds to your pleasure and enjoyment and who accepts it as part of your heterosexual makeup. Show her or read with her excerpts from Mantak Chia's, Taoist Secrets of Love -- Cultivating Male Sexual Energy. This may help her understand where you are coming from. Ask what she thinks about some of the nitty-gritty details in the book, particularly what she thinks of the copulation and thrusting patterns Chia suggests to forestall ejaculation or avoid it all together.



    That is some good reading material. Thanks.


    Let her know when you dry-O by vocalization (just don't make it ear splitting).



    You are talking wwaaaayyy in the future. I need to get 1/2 way to a dry-O first. I'm not even fully sure if I've mini-O'd before.


    Be sensitive to her attentiveness or concern regarding your Aneros hygiene habits. My wife can smell a dirty Aneros across the room. Use lubes you like that also do not 'radiate' Aneros stink. She will check your fingernails -- keep them clipped and clean. Do a few contractions for her while her hand is on the tail of the Aneros. Keep this fun yet be serious in expressing your desire for prostate stim.



    That takes years of knowing a girl before she gets that understanding. I put a condom over my Aneros, so there is never any stink, I hope.

    Thanks so much.
  • hydrogen
    Posts: 115
    Yep, high testosterone level will help super-O. You were also right about retention of semen help super-O too.

    You might have low testosterone level. Better diet and weight lifting will help. Regular massage of testicles will help.
  • rookrook
    Posts: 1,604
    Hydrogen's points about anerobic workouts and testicle massage (per Chia) are well taken.

    As far as the relationship side of this is concerned, as said in the Air Gunnery game, here are the whole 9-yards:

    MyTurn: What was the effect of it on your sexual pleasure (penile and prostatic?), on your performance (quicker orgasm?) and type of ending (dry-O?, multiple?, penile?)

    Simply put, it reaches way beyond penile and prostatic pleasure. Although that's where my focus was during sex with the Helix in 2009.

    Like many guys, I've been working to delay ejaculation and 'go multi' since my second or third year of sexual encounters. (That started when I overheard a prior date telling another gal that I "exploded very quickly but had a nice car.") That always wound up with me accepting the roll of the dice and what prolactin and oxytocin would throw at me, refractory-wise. Several years ago, after I whined to my Urologist, he made a good diagnosis that I was being 'compulsive' and prescribed a tricyclic med. The heart palpitations were a bummer (downright terrifying) and I discarded the med approach (including numbing agents etc.)

    Here's somewhat of an anwer to your question. I've ignored many of our intimate details because I think, in a loving relationship, those are best left shared between just two persons. So, this is rather 'generic' in the details.

    As with many women who are not always orgasmic I don't bat one-thousand when on the path to a chain of dry-Os. OTOH, I can count perhaps a dozen occasions in the last 65 years when I couldn't ejaculate when I desired.

    I'm gaining some tantra skills and improving on my edging results and the feelings I get out in the O-zone. I also know there's KSMO in my more distant future and keep that as my ace-in-the-hole, so to speak. So, when I start an arousal path toward dry-Os during foreplay it's great and we enjoy my pleasures along that path. When I fade, we quickly move on to something else. My wife accepts that every encounter may not bring her a Super g-spot O and I accept that as well -- there are no "failures." Always remember ArcticWolves' sig-line!

    My wife and I 'grew up' with Aneros toys without any knowledge of the Super-O (we never visited the website, only stumbling on it after four months when I hunted the web for something smaller than the Helix.)

    My Urologist, in discussing direct prostate stimulation with us, made no direct mention of female-like or prostate- centered multiple orgasms.

    My self-learning without benefit of the Aneros Forum garnered many mis-conceptions about the nature of prostate stim or where it might lead. Like many guys, I settled for 'climbing the same old penile orgasm mountain.' So I was pretty DUMB.

    Despite 40 years of experience with the same mate, I didn't really understand female orgasm. Finally, I chained together a series of dry-Os during a solo session and began to get the picture. The second or third, certainly not the first, Super-O was my first real clue about what my wife sometimes encounters when everything clicks into place for her.

    These are major changes that Aneros action added during my foreplay and copulation (notice that penile and prostate sensations are not mentioned):
    -- an expansion of my sphere of sexual energy out into the major chakras.
    -- desire for extended time and increased emphasis on foreplay until my core chakras are well energized.
    -- better own-use and coaching of my mate regarding remote acupressure points to diffuse and grow my arousal. In return, she has really opened up in coaching me on her whole-body desires and distastes. We are far more interactive in areas we'd not explored before. (this results in much more crawling around in bed and getting into more 'unorthodox' positions -- that's the main reason that I downsized from a Helix to an SGX during foreplay.)
    -- communication is improved including more humor, laughter and grading each other regarding the quality of our 'teases.')
    -- penetration and copulation isn't the urgent priority it had always been before Aneros. I'm able to maintain and restore my erection far better and more steadily when inserted with an Aneros. (E.D. meds do help and they work better than before I started with the Aneros) I penetrate more frequently during foreplay. I balance prostate stim with my penile stim as I desire. Without going into detail, we also apply the same balancing to the yin side of our equation so that our yin activities are kept in balance with our yang.

    The two most important elements in our relationship are now:
    -- Communication
    -- Mutual trust and respect for the boundaries that the other person has established.

    If you build and cherish those two qualities with women you otherwise like, the rest should fall into place over time.

    Story: In my late teens and most of my twenty's I would routinely jack-off once or twice before any date to get "cool' and put forth the best endurance I could muster. It was an ego thing and I felt that asking for some oral action during the first hours of a long weekend would be putting the female in a subservient role. As a result I missed a lot of good oral that other guys routinely got to kick off a weekend.

    Looking back, I think it better if two people work out their orgasmic differences jointly and coach one another in their desires. That assures balance in the yin-yang of both partners as well as within the sphere of the couple.

    Don't sweat trying to build yourself into the perfect Multi-Orgasmic Male. Let it happen over time. ]

    However, do integrate the Aneros into your relationships as soon as you can. If you delay, it can degrade trust. If you wait beyond your first few sexual encounters with any g/f it poses the question, "what else is this guy holding out from me?"

    Accept your Aneros and ask of your date to accept it much as though it were a small personal vibe she carried in her purse or kept in her nightstand.

    Try to get over the idea that an Aneros is "abnormal." It might not be 'nominal' across the spectrum of guys your age but it's not 'abnormal.' You are not 'nominal' you are you!

    Be open about yourself and what you desire, from square-one. It builds trust!
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,265
    MyTurn,

    You have just been given some wonderful, common sense wisdom from within 'rook's post, I hope you'll read it a couple times. There is simple elegant wisdom expressed therein.
  • GeogioGeogio
    Posts: 107
    I use aneros to not only pleasure myself through my prostate nerve bundle to to build up and heighten awareness. Sexual relations with another are dramatic yet controlled and are very erotic and eventful couplings.