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A Wife's Perspective
  • jane
    Posts: 11
    Hi

    I hope it's ok for a woman to post a message, but my husband won't do it and I wanted to share our experience of an Aneros couple. It started nearly two years ago when Pete had trouble holding his erection and his ejaculate was thin not nice, and ejaculating itself was a little bit sore at times. The doc checked him over, said he might have a bit of prostatis which we knew nothing about. Oferred a course of massage which seemed to work but embarassed Pete a lot. However, by the end of the course he was harder again, the soreness had gone and his semen was in better shape. But within three months the old signs returned, albeit much less than before. He, and I, were worried and ready to go back to doc when we saw an alternative therapy clinic advertise prostate treatments. Thought we'd try and found more massage but with implements not fingers. Pete thought it worked better though it was probably becasue a finger wasn't poking inside of him. The therapist sold him some stuff, including an aneros, and suggested he try them out on his own as the treatment didn't need any special expertise. Pete did, only when I was out, again becasue of the connotations of a man poking his own bum. Over the last year he was noticeably better in bed, happier and him peeing sounded like a tap turned full on. I was interested but he'd keep me at a distance. Until I decided to confront him, making sure we didn't spend time apart for a couple of weeks so he couldn't find the time to be alon with his aneros. Eventually he gave in and allowed me to observe. After all I used my vibe when he was about, so what was tht different. When I dd get to watch I was stunned to see Pete convulse when using the aneros and to spontaneously ejaculate without touching his penis. Just by contacting; it hit me that he was doing the same pc exercises that I used. So I wanted him in me with it in him and when we did this he moaned like no other time, was hard and had stamina I'd not seen for a long time. We both really got off on the experience and his super orgasm helped my orgasms. We now set special Aneros time aside when we talk about it and use it so we know better how it works for us. We've become closer with a special more intimate bond - he's happier and healthier. And I'm enjoying each lay as though I'd got a new man! So, thank you Aneros!

    Jane

    PS Why is it that men using the aneros is so secret when we women have been using vibes for years and they are now sold everywhere. God, even my local pharmacy has some discreet models on sale. And regular TV shows plastic cocks in dramas and comedies. Yet a man and his bum is still taboo! So mad...........

  • Originally Posted By: jane
    Hi

    I hope it's ok for a woman to post a message, but my husband won't do it and I wanted to share our experience of an Aneros couple. It started nearly two years ago when Pete had trouble holding his erection and his ejaculate was thin not nice, and ejaculating itself was a little bit sore at times. The doc checked him over, said he might have a bit of prostatis which we knew nothing about. Oferred a course of massage which seemed to work but embarassed Pete a lot. However, by the end of the course he was harder again, the soreness had gone and his semen was in better shape. But within three months the old signs returned, albeit much less than before. He, and I, were worried and ready to go back to doc when we saw an alternative therapy clinic advertise prostate treatments. Thought we'd try and found more massage but with implements not fingers. Pete thought it worked better though it was probably becasue a finger wasn't poking inside of him. The therapist sold him some stuff, including an aneros, and suggested he try them out on his own as the treatment didn't need any special expertise. Pete did, only when I was out, again becasue of the connotations of a man poking his own bum. Over the last year he was noticeably better in bed, happier and him peeing sounded like a tap turned full on. I was interested but he'd keep me at a distance. Until I decided to confront him, making sure we didn't spend time apart for a couple of weeks so he couldn't find the time to be alon with his aneros. Eventually he gave in and allowed me to observe. After all I used my vibe when he was about, so what was tht different. When I dd get to watch I was stunned to see Pete convulse when using the aneros and to spontaneously ejaculate without touching his penis. Just by contacting; it hit me that he was doing the same pc exercises that I used. So I wanted him in me with it in him and when we did this he moaned like no other time, was hard and had stamina I'd not seen for a long time. We both really got off on the experience and his super orgasm helped my orgasms. We now set special Aneros time aside when we talk about it and use it so we know better how it works for us. We've become closer with a special more intimate bond - he's happier and healthier. And I'm enjoying each lay as though I'd got a new man! So, thank you Aneros!

    Jane

    PS Why is it that men using the aneros is so secret when we women have been using vibes for years and they are now sold everywhere. God, even my local pharmacy has some discreet models on sale. And regular TV shows plastic cocks in dramas and comedies. Yet a man and his bum is still taboo! So mad...........


    Hi Jane
    Thank you for posting your message, it is lovely to hear wonderful news relating to both prostate health and that you are both accepting the Aneros.
    I believe it is unusual that the other half can accept us guys using prostate massage.
    I sold the idea to my wife only on the health basis, we had our problems, life is much easier but I have to tread carefully, I usually use my MGX disceatly at night. Our sex life has improved and now I am working on her to allow me to make the next step to the Helix.
    Jane, what other devices/implements has the doc prescribed?
  • jane
    Posts: 11
    Hi

    Well, I understand it's a bit of a toboo for some, but hey life's short enough without hangups. A couple of my girlfriends were interested as their partners were also having a couple of problems, but they haven't done anything about it as they think it won't go down well. There's still a way to go. I've sworn all my friends to total secrecy as my marriage will be over if Pete gets any jokes at his expense in the locker room. He's happy with the benefits but won't tell his friends anything.

    Pete got a perspex wand thingy that he thought was good for really hard massage to release fluid, but sore when used for a longer period. Also too easy to insert too far when he climaxed, which worried him a bit. Therapist also sold him a normal dildo which has never ever been used by Pete becasue it looks like a real cock and he doesn't want to seem gay! It's pretty awful in any case. And a smallish vibe which Pete found uncomfortable - but I use it to vibrate the aneros sometimes and he has found the experience pretty good.

    Maybe it's tiem for a partner forum where wives and girlfriends can learn. After all we obsess over our g-spots and other bits, which can seem just a gross at times!

    Jane

  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    Jane,


    At the outset, I just wanted to say how terrific it is to hear from the other side. Given what you’ve posted thus far, it’s clear that you’re a terrific lady and that your husband is one lucky guy! It’s so refreshing to find a woman who has the kind of clarity that you do about erotic pleasures. The stigma that’s been attached to anal play has intimidated far too many heterosexual men. I would like to believe that your comments represent a glimmer of hope that things might be changing in this regard.

    With respect to a couples forum, I know that there was a Sticky thread at the top of the forum for some time entitled the Woman’s Perspective. Unfortunately, it didn’t go too far. Timing is everything of course, and perhaps now is a good time to examine it once more. (With your help and Zane Blue's (another female contributor) to start us off).

    As a side note, I’m in development of my own website now which will address (in part) the couples perspective with the Super Orgasm, (with several forums). I’ve stumbled upon several ideas that you will undoubtedly both find useful. Stay tuned.

    Again, thanks for your input and please keep us abreast of the fun with Pete and Jane :)


    BF Mayfield
  • nino
    Posts: 28
    Hi all! first post here...

    On the topics of husband and wife. Well, I had been using my aneros products on my own for a couple months and had used during intercourse with my wife without letting it be known as I figured she just couldn't handle it. Well, sure enough one time she noticed it and got all upset about it. I explained that I just didn't know how to approach her on it. She was more angry that I didn't feel like I could talk to her about it.

    Well, the experience was a bit uncomfortable and believe it our not though, helped our relationship and communication.

    Nino
  • calibre
    Posts: 60

    Originally Posted By: jane
    Hi

    Well, I understand it's a bit of a toboo for some, but hey life's short enough without hangups. A couple of my girlfriends were interested as their partners were also having a couple of problems, but they haven't done anything about it as they think it won't go down well. There's still a way to go. I've sworn all my friends to total secrecy as my marriage will be over if Pete gets any jokes at his expense in the locker room. He's happy with the benefits but won't tell his friends anything.

    Pete got a perspex wand thingy that he thought was good for really hard massage to release fluid, but sore when used for a longer period. Also too easy to insert too far when he climaxed, which worried him a bit. Therapist also sold him a normal dildo which has never ever been used by Pete becasue it looks like a real cock and he doesn't want to seem gay! It's pretty awful in any case. And a smallish vibe which Pete found uncomfortable - but I use it to vibrate the aneros sometimes and he has found the experience pretty good.

    Maybe it's tiem for a partner forum where wives and girlfriends can learn. After all we obsess over our g-spots and other bits, which can seem just a gross at times!

    Jane


    Hi Jane
    Yes as Brian has commented thank you for giving us your input to the forum, I hope we hear more from you as time permits. Pete is lucky to have a lady who is ready to accept prostate massage. It is difficult, as Pete will need to spend some time on his own exploring the capabilities of the Aneros. Sounds as if you have both accepted the concept and the health issues are a bonus. Good luck to you both.

    My wife has accepted the need for me to use the MGX for health reasons and the fact I have to use Cealis (Viagra)that is also difficult as it removes the spontaneousity.
  • jane
    Posts: 11
    Hi

    Thank you to everyone for your kind and positive words, I am so glad I decided to post my thoughts. I think I found it easier to accept Pete's use of the Aneros because it kicked off with a medical problem: he couldn't hold an erection and then ejaculated too quickly to satisfy me. Every woman who loves her partner will want them to be well, and will do what they can to make something better. It's the mothering gene. I also felt panic, irritation and jealousy. Not of the Aneros, but becasue when Pete didn't get erect I thought he'd found another woman and didn't find me attractive any more. Not uncommon when I talked to a couple of girlfriends whos partners had similar problems. After many years of arousing him without any problems I was hurt to find no response. I also found it easier because the therapist we ended up with was female and therefore able to understand my feelings and to explain what was needed. After posting my message I rang her to chat and she said the dildo was a joke that she played on all men - the look on their faces was a joy and they were more receptive of the other tools she offered! Female psychology at its worst.

    Please remember the Aneros won't mend broken relationships. If you and your partner aren't close then she'll read all the wrong messages into the Aneros. Unless your drifting apart becasue of purely physical issues then she won't appreciate you healthy prostate, renewed vigour or anything else. Only if you are loving, close and open will you find her receptive. And if she already enjoys external stimulation, such as a vibe, then she'll be that bit more understanding. And for those of you who use/plan to use the Aneros during intercourse I advise being open beforehand, or if you want to hide its use then choose your postions carefully. Women like to touch and bottoms are something nice to touch during intercourse, and no woman wants to discover a lump of plastic sticking out of her partner's bottom just as she's feeling nice feelings. If you have to be secret then go doggy!

    Oh, and be scrupulously clean and don't think women want to know about your bodily functions - during sex your anus is for pleasure, so prepare it in private and present it well.

    Love

    Jane
  • hulahula
    Posts: 212
    Very interesting perspective. I haven't told my wife about
    aneros yet. she doesn't really like sex toys or too much anal play-- although she has stuck a finger up my ass a couple of times. And i like to make her come by touching her anus just at the peak of intercourse.
    We'll see. it is going to take time to figure out how to broach the subject.
    And we have a great relationship, and a great sexual one.
  • jane
    Posts: 11
    Hi Hula

    I think you are going to find your wife is ok about it. If she probed you without being asked then she knows more than you may think, and she also knows her own anus is a pleasureable area. Does she talk about what you touching her does for her? She may wonder why you need the Aneros, but if you can explain how it will also benefit her - do you get harder with it in, or last longer, ejaculate further, - then I am sure she will love you for it. Or just let her masturbate you as my experience with Pete, hard is best but alos when limp, is that his sperm is thicker and spurts further. And I for one love to watch that happen.

    Love

    Jane

  • Originally Posted By: jane
    Hi

    Well, I understand it's a bit of a toboo for some, but hey life's short enough without hangups. A couple of my girlfriends were interested as their partners were also having a couple of problems, but they haven't done anything about it as they think it won't go down well. There's still a way to go. I've sworn all my friends to total secrecy as my marriage will be over if Pete gets any jokes at his expense in the locker room. He's happy with the benefits but won't tell his friends anything.

    Pete got a perspex wand thingy that he thought was good for really hard massage to release fluid, but sore when used for a longer period. Also too easy to insert too far when he climaxed, which worried him a bit. Therapist also sold him a normal dildo which has never ever been used by Pete becasue it looks like a real cock and he doesn't want to seem gay! It's pretty awful in any case. And a smallish vibe which Pete found uncomfortable - but I use it to vibrate the aneros sometimes and he has found the experience pretty good.

    Maybe it's tiem for a partner forum where wives and girlfriends can learn. After all we obsess over our g-spots and other bits, which can seem just a gross at times!

    Jane


    Hi,

    I have just ordered ours today but only after we had a discussion and Eliza read all the information on the various web sites.
    We have always had great sex and our relationship is such that we always try to ensure we are both satisfied.

    I have been on Viagra for some time now mainly because I travel internationaly a lot in the course of my business. The frequent travel and changing of time zones takes it's toll and the Viagra has been a help.
    We are both very excited and looking forward to receiving the Aneros.

    Jane you are correct, sex is an open subject in a marriage and the more you discuss it and work at it the better it will get. Eliza loves her "toys" and they are a help to us both - Aneros please cum soon!

    Allan
  • jane
    Posts: 11
    Hi All,

    I hope those of you who have persuaded your wives/partners to see your view are having as much fun as Pete and I have had with the Aneros. I sked my best girlfriends (14 in total)what they would do if their husbands had a medical problem that required their assistance. All said they'd help. Then I asked what if it was their prostate. Some knew what that was - a surprising number didn't and a couple went quietly pink. When we talked about the prostate there was a mix of comments, but over three quarters of my friends said that they'd still want to help if it meant their husbands stayed healthier - we're all 40s and 50s so in that stage where worries set in. I then gave a teach in on prostate massage, which led to the obvious questions - stools and erections. I answered these as openly as I could, and was surprised that the response was still positive. All were sure that preparation was a thing bestr done alone - men please note. Women don't like anything but a fresh, pristine and empty anus. Anything else is a marriage killer.
    When I showed them the Aneros and explained a bit about it they were receptive to using this rather than their hands to massage the prostate, and when I explained that they didn't even need to touch it or see it, just let their husbands use it, then all concerns seemed to go. I explained that some men might enjoy intercourse using the Aneros, but many just wanted to be able to use it on their own without having to be secretive. There were lots of questions about how it worked, so I showed them this site, and how easy it went in. About five compared their experiences of anal sex, largely favourably, and the best lubes. But they didn't fully understand it was better not to move the Aneros as they thought it would be like a dildo and needed some work to position it. I explained Pete got it seated well almost straight away and his contractions did the rest. This led on to questions of intercourse and when I said my enjoyment had increased because Pete's performance had improved, and that his ejaculate was better in smell, content and taste - more pink faces - by then I'd lost a couple, mainly because their views on health practices and sexual practices were quite apart. Strange. The rest of my friends all thought a healthier man and better sex was a good mix so maybe there will be a few more Aneros users soon.

    Love

    Jane
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    Dear Jane,

    I'm sure all of the men reading your most recent post are asking once again, where do all of these ladies live....we want to meet them. Your comments offer a terrific perspective on the delights and perils of holding such a frank discussion with any group of people (enlightened or otherwise). Your strategy of coming at this from the health angle was very astute. On the few occasions that I have broached this topic with other men, it has been in this way as well. Unfortunately, my efforts have been somewhat limited as I have found that the ONLY men who have had any openness to this have been those who are already steeped in the practices of alternative medicine, homeopathy etc. Particularly those who had therapeutic enemas or colonics in the past, i.e. those who are NOT butt phobic

    No doubt, the information that you yielded from these discussions will be of great benefit to many here in the forum. In particular, your advice on getting squeeky clean prior to involving a partner in this activity. Please keep it coming.

    I remain in awe of your dedication to your husbands health and well being. Where others become squeemish you've seen an opportunity for expanded awareness.

    I'M SO IN LOVE!

    Best Wishes

    BF Mayfield

  • jane
    Posts: 11
    Hi all

    Well, a friend took my advice and got an Aneros for her husband. He's 60ish and has had some trouble over a number of years in achieving erections. She has adapted and they have a good relationship. So purchase was not for sexual pleasure but to see if it would ease his problem of peeing frequently but small amounts. Thought both might be connected. First attempt achieved ejaculation by masturbation and not erect. She said the deposit was "unpleasant" and watery. He complained of pain when ejaculating and continued to grip Aneros tightly afterwards. She was worried that he'd damage himself if it was pulled out, so decided to soothe him by stroking his penis and talking to him, and after a few minutes the discomfort and pain subsided. But she said he continued to feel a tingling, warm sensation which was not unpleasant. Her stroking continued and after a longer period he ejaculated again, quite suddently and the deposit was more as expected in appearance, but much greater in volume, continuing to ooze from his penis after he had spasmed. After this he mentioned the emptiness that others report. An attempt at a third ejacualtion was found to be over ambitious and uncomfortable.

    My friend has said that since using the Aneros her husband's peeing has reduced in frequency and he pees more each time, but the changes are small each time. He still does not get an erection, but she says he does not have a spring back in his step, she thinks becasue he is less worried about his peeing. Interesting comment - she does not want to look at or touch the Aneros at any time, nor will she touch his anus, or let him touch hers. But she acknowledges that the Aneros is most definitely a sexual and medical aid.

    Love

    Jane
  • Edit
    Posts: 0
    Jane said:
    PS Why is it that men using the aneros is so secret when we women have been using vibes for years and they are now sold everywhere. God, even my local pharmacy has some discreet models on sale. And regular TV shows plastic cocks in dramas and comedies. Yet a man and his bum is still taboo! So mad...........


    Ummmm... yeah - why is that, anyway? Yanno, I'll bet the Aneros would be a great addition to Pleasure Parties merchandise lines.

    Now if I can just get *my* husband to let me help him try this.....
  • Edit
    Posts: 0

    Originally Posted By: jane
    Hi

    I hope it's ok for a woman to post a message, but my husband won't do it and I wanted to share our experience of an Aneros couple. It started nearly two years ago when Pete had trouble holding his erection and his ejaculate was thin not nice, and ejaculating itself was a little bit sore at times. The doc checked him over, said he might have a bit of prostatis which we knew nothing about. Oferred a course of massage which seemed to work but embarassed Pete a lot. However, by the end of the course he was harder again, the soreness had gone and his semen was in better shape. But within three months the old signs returned, albeit much less than before. He, and I, were worried and ready to go back to doc when we saw an alternative therapy clinic advertise prostate treatments. Thought we'd try and found more massage but with implements not fingers. Pete thought it worked better though it was probably becasue a finger wasn't poking inside of him. The therapist sold him some stuff, including an aneros, and suggested he try them out on his own as the treatment didn't need any special expertise. Pete did, only when I was out, again becasue of the connotations of a man poking his own bum. Over the last year he was noticeably better in bed, happier and him peeing sounded like a tap turned full on. I was interested but he'd keep me at a distance. Until I decided to confront him, making sure we didn't spend time apart for a couple of weeks so he couldn't find the time to be alon with his aneros. Eventually he gave in and allowed me to observe. After all I used my vibe when he was about, so what was tht different. When I dd get to watch I was stunned to see Pete convulse when using the aneros and to spontaneously ejaculate without touching his penis. Just by contacting; it hit me that he was doing the same pc exercises that I used. So I wanted him in me with it in him and when we did this he moaned like no other time, was hard and had stamina I'd not seen for a long time. We both really got off on the experience and his super orgasm helped my orgasms. We now set special Aneros time aside when we talk about it and use it so we know better how it works for us. We've become closer with a special more intimate bond - he's happier and healthier. And I'm enjoying each lay as though I'd got a new man! So, thank you Aneros!

    Jane

    PS Why is it that men using the aneros is so secret when we women have been using vibes for years and they are now sold everywhere. God, even my local pharmacy has some discreet models on sale. And regular TV shows plastic cocks in dramas and comedies. Yet a man and his bum is still taboo! So mad...........


    Hello......my question is when having intercourse with my wife while the Aneros is still inserted, does it help to keep the erection hard for an extended period of time?
    Thanks
  • jane
    Posts: 11
    Hi

    The Aneros could be fun at pleasure parties though it might need some careful explaining! I've only been to a couple but the girls there were certainly open to the usual sex toys, but couldn't say how they'd have reacted to the Aneros. But they seemed ready for anything that prolonged their partner's erection so who knows. I still think it may be a step too far for many. Maybe somoen could get their partner to demo for the party....now that would be interesting.

    As for prolonging the erection, well a definite Yes, as Pete certainly stays harder for longer and I personally feel a better quality from him when he uses the Aneros. But we both know that he is very fortunate in getting erect with the Aneros when many men don't. But we'd also recommend you masturbate before you have intercourse as the first ejaculation does seem to clear things out and Pete has said the second climax is much more intense. It means it all takes a lot longer, depending on recovery between climax, but it is worth it - for your wife as well as for you. If she's open minded let her masturbate you so that she can feel your pleasure. Remember much of the pleasure of sex is in the mind so think the right thoughts and get into the mood.

    Love Jane
  • Edit
    Posts: 0
    Wow... I'm a 21 yr old female, and I would not have expected women to be so squeamish about men's use of this device... I've always thought heterosexual men were much more close-minded about anal stimulation than women, especially since we're the more common recipients of anal sex/play. Anyways, I felt the need to represent a different point of view on here. I saw the Aneros a little while ago on the Good Vibrations website (my absolute favorite online sex shop) and came to this website for more information. The idea of my lover trying this and experiencing new kinds of orgasm... well, that's just hot. I would love to have him use the Aneros for selfish reasons, the idea of it just turns me on. I would absolutely love to be there when he uses it, and to apply lubrication and insert it for him, and then help him to relax and coax him through it and whatnot. It sounds like it could be very, very erotic. My only worry is that I'm not sure how comfortable HE would be with the whole thing, specifically the idea of having a foreign object in his butt. Even open-minded men are socially trained to be, as someone else on here put it, butt-phobic. Anyways, I think I'm going to purchase one so that I can already have it when I bring the subject up, so that we wouldn't have to "go get it" and thus he may be more likely to try it out. He does enjoy it when I rub, stroke, kiss, etc. his anus during sex, and one time when going down on him I slowly worked a finger in (i have very small hands though!), and I think he liked that too, although he didn't say anything... and so overall I think he would probably be receptive.
    Anyways, my whole point was that I'm surprised men would have to hide this from their wives or lovers, I would have thought that any discomfort about it would come from the men themselves. One more thing... Jane mentioned several times about the importance of preparation, saying "Women don't like anything but a fresh, pristine and empty anus." This may be true for some women, but personally I wouldn't worry about it too much. Feces passes through the rectum but isn't actually stored there, so I think any presence of it would be minimal. Either way, I can see how performing an enema on yourself could be difficult without help, psychologically uncomfortable, physically uncomfortable, or some combination of the above, and I can't think of any good reason to ask him to do all that unless he already wanted to. It seems easier to just have baby wipes next to the bed; then just in case a little messiness is encountered, clean-up would be quick and discreet without interrupting the mood. I'm a big girl and I'm not going to jump up and run screaming over a natural part of the human body. Me it doesn't bother at all, and for some women it's important, so I think the best rule of thumb is to ask your lover how he/she feels and not make any assumptions. Good communication is the key to amazing sex. :)

    Just my two cents.

    ~melissa

    P.S. Jane, I'm so very impressed; I commend you on your efforts to share your discovery and experiences with your friends, whatever their reactions may have been... you go girl!
  • jane
    Posts: 11
    Hi Melissa, and what great advice. I'm a lot older than you - middish 40s - and my friends are all the same or older, so I think the messiness, smelly bit is a generational thing. Don't know what other members think. I'm suprrised that you think your partner might be "closed" to the experience as in my experience men have this thing about their bums and if he's responded well to you touching him and putting a finger in him then he's absolutely going to love the Aneros, especially as you'll be sharing with him on the pleasure. God I'm jealous of you being so young - you both won't be out of the bedroom for days!

    Love Jane
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    Melissa,

    This anal aversion that effects so many, has it's roots in homophobia (and to a certain extent puritanical traditionalism). It clouds the judgement of both men and women (although perhaps more pervasively in the case of men, who believe such desires to be threatening to their very masculinity). Interestingly enough, this forum is predominated by heterosexual men. . What does that say? Hopefully it says that male attitudes on this are changing. Nonetheless it's tremendously encouraging to see women of two different generations who are so truly liberated in their thinking. Given your input and that of the delightful Jane (and the several other ladies who have graciously contributed), I'd say that female attitudes might be changing on this as well.

    Please keep us apprised on your progress. Your input will inform many and will be much appreciated by all in this forum.

    BF Mayfield


    P.S. If I'd only had a girlfriend like you when I was twenty-one....I'm certain that it would have changed the course of my life! :)
  • Edit
    Posts: 0
    Melissa, from what you wrote, if you aren't treated well, then obviously your guy DOESN'T deserve a goddess like you.

    Originally Posted By: melissa
    He does enjoy it when I rub, stroke, kiss,.... one time when going down on him I slowly worked a finger in (i have very small hands though!), and I think he liked that too, although he didn't say anything...


    AND HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING !!!
    Well if you only stuck a finger in, next time try massaging his prostate while giving him head. AND if he still doesn't say anything, then pullout your finger and stick in his mouth, slap him, and leave him jk :~) {or not jk if you leave him for me}.

    Melissa, if your BF doesn't worship you or stops worhipping you, leave him for someone who will.

    I'm bit more than double Melissa's age[though my body and cock don't seem to know it], but what's up with Jane's hubby and her friends?
    Maybe over in the UK(? guessing from the lingo)they missed out on the whole free love sexual revolution of the 60's thing that happened in the USA[which I kind of missed out being quite young during that decade, but with the 60's echo still reverberating in the 70's during puberty I felt a little jealous of having missed out on the 60's]

    Age may explain some of the differences, but family, culture, and individual differences might matter more than age for this type of subject.
    I think I feel a lot more like Melissa's generation if Jane is representative of mine, although Melissa's boyfriend is her age & seems to have more in common with Janes' generation than mine---obviously a bit of a contradiction.
  • Edit
    Posts: 0
    Sorry Jane, didn't mean to paint you with that brush.
    But to correct the worse of my typos in case it was more misunderstood than the others: I feel a lot more like Melissa's generation if Jane is representative of mine....

    I meant to type that I feel a lot more like Melissa's generation if some of Jane's friends and her hubby are representative of mine.

    Jane seems somewhat immunized from having such hangups to borrow some ancient history slang from the olden days.

    Yes, I confess, I'm not immune, I too can feel some of those little societal cultural puritannical tugs at the puppet strings that try to attach to some of those kind of thoughts in one's mind. But I do my best to ignore them when it seems appropriate to do so.
  • Edit
    Posts: 0

    Originally Posted By: jane
    Hi

    I hope it's ok for a woman to post a message, but my husband won't do it and I wanted to share our experience of an Aneros couple. It started nearly two years ago when Pete had trouble holding his erection and his ejaculate was thin not nice, and ejaculating itself was a little bit sore at times. The doc checked him over, said he might have a bit of prostatis which we knew nothing about. Oferred a course of massage which seemed to work but embarassed Pete a lot. However, by the end of the course he was harder again, the soreness had gone and his semen was in better shape. But within three months the old signs returned, albeit much less than before. He, and I, were worried and ready to go back to doc when we saw an alternative therapy clinic advertise prostate treatments. Thought we'd try and found more massage but with implements not fingers. Pete thought it worked better though it was probably becasue a finger wasn't poking inside of him. The therapist sold him some stuff, including an aneros, and suggested he try them out on his own as the treatment didn't need any special expertise. Pete did, only when I was out, again becasue of the connotations of a man poking his own bum. Over the last year he was noticeably better in bed, happier and him peeing sounded like a tap turned full on. I was interested but he'd keep me at a distance. Until I decided to confront him, making sure we didn't spend time apart for a couple of weeks so he couldn't find the time to be alon with his aneros. Eventually he gave in and allowed me to observe. After all I used my vibe when he was about, so what was tht different. When I dd get to watch I was stunned to see Pete convulse when using the aneros and to spontaneously ejaculate without touching his penis. Just by contacting; it hit me that he was doing the same pc exercises that I used. So I wanted him in me with it in him and when we did this he moaned like no other time, was hard and had stamina I'd not seen for a long time. We both really got off on the experience and his super orgasm helped my orgasms. We now set special Aneros time aside when we talk about it and use it so we know better how it works for us. We've become closer with a special more intimate bond - he's happier and healthier. And I'm enjoying each lay as though I'd got a new man! So, thank you Aneros!

    Jane

    PS Why is it that men using the aneros is so secret when we women have been using vibes for years and they are now sold everywhere. God, even my local pharmacy has some discreet models on sale. And regular TV shows plastic cocks in dramas and comedies. Yet a man and his bum is still taboo! So mad...........


    Men are homophobes. They think that if they admit to enjoying anal penetration it means that they are gay. And, since male anxiety rules the marketplace, this is why prostate stimulation products are tabu. Vibrators on the other hand ensure that when a woman comes into a shop that sells them, the clerk that sells it to her will have hers as well as many other women's images in his head when he goes home that evening. For Americans, male masturbation is juvenile and perverted while female masturbation is a sign of sexual maturity. Go figure. Maybe the mainstream will come to its senses soon. Meanwhile, I have no qualms about things going in through the outdoor and I am not a homosexual.
  • Edit
    Posts: 0
    This is a very interesting thread. I am 53 and have had some E.D. for the last 2 years. About 12 months ago I bought a "g" spot style 8" vibrator, and have experimented with it a lot. I have always loved a good prostate massage, which I first experienced at 21 years old from a Korean girlfriend, while she gave me exquisite head. I got over any "homophobic" hangups back then, and have always enjoyed anal stimulation (finger, tongue, even a couple of two finger massages by male massuers long, long ago). My PSA is normal and I do not have any urination problems or pain, but when I began stimulation of my prostate with the g-spot vibe, I could actually feel the expulsion of "congested" semen (I had a vasectomy 16 years ago). As I continued to stroke my cock the semen would come out, and some 1/4" to 1/2" long strings of "congealed" clear/yellow semen, about a pencil lead in diameter. I now massage my prostate about every 2 days, and have better ejaculate amounts and shoot further.
    My wife (of 28 years) has massaged me digitally, and she will use the g-spot vib on me when I ask (I usually give her a slow, mind-blowing oral orgasm first), and she enjoys stroking me and watching me come. We have always been very open about what feels good--and I have always made sure she has 1 orgasm first before I pop my rocks. But I am going to order an Aneros and use it during intercourse, to see if it will stimulate me and maybe eliminate the need for Viagra. I can always get a nice hardon, and often wake up with a hardon, but sometimes it fades after 10-15 minutes. I have always needed 15-30 minutes of actual stimulation (by hand, mouth, or in her vagina or anus) to reach orgasm--I'm the reverse of most men, and have never had premature or "too soon" ejaculation. We would both like it if I could pop in 5-10 minutes, as I enjoy foreplay so much that she often has her first orgasm within 2 or 3 minutes after I penetrate her.
    Maybe the Aneros will speed up my ejaculation.
    I'm basing my hopes on the one time in my life (30 years ago) when I had a 3-some with 2 Korean girls. I was fucking one missionary style and the other rimmed my anus and then inserted one, and finally two fingers and massaged my prostate--I blew so stongly and had such intense sphincter contractions that Kim said I hurt her fingers! I would love to feel that again--(I've tried to orgasm with a vibrator in my ass while fucking my wife, but my contractions expel the vib just as I orgasm).
    Jane--thanks for all your comments, very good reading.
    Men-don't be afraid of anal stimulation, it's all about who you are with, not what you're doing--the anus has an amazing amount of nerve endings!
  • jane
    Posts: 11
    Hi, and I didn't realise what I kicked off. What great comments from everyone. My girlfriends do tend to confirm that, in public, men are really anti-anal, but in private a surprising number enjoy a degree of stimulation during sex. Rarely as foreplay but ususally in the heat of intercourse when animal instinct takes control of them! Favourite seems to be for the girl to use her vibrator - letting it "slip" from her vagina to his anus douring the exertions. Or a finger brushing him. This proves we girls can multi task. Reactions are "wow", but rarely discussed afterwards.

    I think you'll enjoy the Aneros experience when it arrives as you won't shoot it out over your wife's legs (if missionary) and Pete finds that keeping it in isn't difficult but the technique for doing so adds to the pleasure. Doggy is good. And your wife sounds so understanding and experimental.

    However I don't think that the Aneros experience will compare with your threesome! But tell us if it does. We have involved one very close friend in our intimacy and found it an intense and extremely erotic experience, simply because involving another person brings touch, warmth and mystery. Our mututal Aneros experience is, for Pete, physically probably more satisfying but emotionally less so.


    Lots of love

    Jane
  • luvinaneros
    Posts: 147
    My wife and I use the MGX all the time during intercourse. I have never had any problems keeping the aneros inserted and the orgasms are so intense. I hope you and your wife enjoy using the aneros. I know my wife enjoys me using the aneros.
  • big_O
    Posts: 44
    As others have commented ejaculatory orgasms with the Aneros inserted are unbelievable. I do find its hard not to come too soon with the Aneros in though. Any other users have the same problem? I can only imagine how tough it would be to have control in intercourse while using the Aneros. Guess I need to practice, practice for when I'm with a girlfriend, which sadly isn't now : )
  • Edit
    Posts: 0
    Where are all these guys? I need to meet them!!! My boyfriend of one and a half years is sooo buttphobic. I, on the other hand, find a man's ass the most attractive part of the body and love to touch it in any way I can. This is a real problem, because he won't let me go anywhere NEAR his anus. In fact, if I even touch the area between his legs behind his nuts, he jumps three feet in the air and clamps his legs together. I hate this... the last person I dated, I loved to massage that area (I don't know the word for what I'm talking about really, just everything between the anus and base of his penis) and it really turned me on. I also love to stroke the anus with my wet fingertips while I go down, and I've never been able to do this with him... or even get close.

    I had hoped that he would open up more as time went on, but it's just gotten worse... Now that he's realized I have tendency to grab his butt while we have sex, he's real careful to position himself so that I can't reach anything. I've tried to get him to relax with full body massages with oil and soft music and everything, thinking that the mood would loosen him up a little, but when I reach his butt he tenses up completely and clamps his cheeks together. I don't think I even know what his inner thighs look like, it's sad. The problem is, the more I'm not "supposed to" touch his ass, the more I desire it. At first I indulged myself with fantasies of penetrating him with a finger, plug, or toy while we're together, since I knew he would never let me actually penetrate him in real life. But now those thought have just made me want it more. In particular, I seem to be obsessing over two things: rimming/licking him, or pressing a small vibrator against his anus with one hand and jacking him off with the other. Um hopefully my language doesn't offend anyone here. My point is that all my fantasies now are variations on the theme of anal stimulation. This is a perfect example of how a repressed sexual desire can become an obsession.

    Anyways, now I find that I just don't enjoy sex anymore. I don't know why... I guess it seems like such a big part of the body to have never explored at all. I don't know what to do. When he says that me touching sensitive areas (for example, the crease where inner thigh meets body, or the back side of the nuts) makes him uncomfortable, it seems impossible to ask to go any further. It's a hard topic to approach, especially since I'm a little embarrassed that I can't stop wanting it. One time the topic of rimming was on tv, so I asked him if he would ever let a woman do that. His response was "no way," so I added that I'd heard several men say it feels really good. (This wasn't exactly true, but oh well.) He said "well, i wouldn't like it," so I left it alone.

    I know it's wrong to try to get a person to do something sexually that they're not comfortable with, but when I try to give up the idea of touching his butt more, I lose all interest in sex. We're completely, totally compatible in other areas, but the sex thing just isn't working. I think it's more than just the butt thing, it's more general... I'm turned on by the more animalistic aspects of sex, while he's turned on strictly by "penis in vagina" sex, or blow jobs of course. For example, I've told him that I find the hair on his chest and stomach very erotic, and also the scent of him when he's a little sweaty. However he still insists on shaving all the hair on his body (except a little pubic hair he leaves) and on taking showers the instant he's been sweating at all (twice a day or more.)

    So it makes me sad to say it, but I'm almost ready to break up over this. It seems shallow to throw away a beautiful and loving relationship over sex, but it doesn't seem like things are going to change. Then again, maybe I haven't approached it the right way. I've never explicitly stated those desires because his reactions to everything else are so negative, like I described.

    Any advice?????
  • Edit
    Posts: 0
    P.S.

    I'm 22, by the way, so that makes me Melissa's generation.
    Also, I stay in good shape and people consider me very attractive, whereas generally people do not find him attractive. (I do, of course.) I compliment him all the time and point out all his best qualities, but he still has a pretty low self-image about his looks. So could this be a confidence thing? I just realized that maybe he's so uncomfortable because he doesn't like his body... Even so, I have no idea how I could do more than I already do to help his confidence. Any ideas?

    I know one thing for sure, if we do end up breaking up, I'm going to make sure a guy enjoys anal stimulation BEFORE I start dating him.

    Amy
  • big_O
    Posts: 44
    Amy,

    I think your man is missing out big time. First, he is denying you the satisfaction of fulfilling at least some of your fantasies which, in turn, denies him the fullest enjoyment of your sexual relationship together. Second, by refusing to try even the slightest anal stimulation he is missing out on a whole new world of sexual satisfaction. Gentle anal penetration can be pleasing and then there's the Aneros which just ramps up the intensity to a truly ecstatic level.

    Its strange that he doesn't enjoy you touching the perineum area. I think most men would love having that area caressed. Hope you two can work things out and enjoy all the possibilities that anal play, and particularly the Aneros can offer.
  • jane
    Posts: 11
    Hi Amy

    I think that you've only really got two choices - either he goes through therapy to try and get rid of whatever is the source of his anal phobia, or you leave him. Sorry. But you seem mismatched.

    As for rimming, it's something I have had done to me and enjoyed a lot, but not something I'd ever give. Just me. I'm happy to suck a cock or lick a girl, but I suppose I just don't feel happy putting my tongue there. I've known only two people who will admit to doing it (as they did it to me!) but Pete isn't one, so it's not something that I enjoy that often now. Still, a little lasts a long while.

    One thought - try a soft feather on your b'f's anus as it gives a great sensation and might persuade him, though I think not. Anything he does really want to do, which you might then be able to link into anal play? Threesome (all men do!) or something special between the two of you. Give it a thought but if it doesn't work then give him the push.

    Love

    Jane
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    Amy,

    Given your description of your boyfriend’s reactions towards even subtle advances in this direction, I think it’s very doubtful that he will ever be open to sensual exploration of this kind. It seems like he has told you who he is already. For whatever reason, (be it homophobia, or rigid culturally engendered views on male sexuality) … he’s programmed against it. Even baiting him with a threesome might prove insufficient, and it could send a mixed message anyway (particularly if you’re not into group play yourself). Furthermore, if he’s really dead set against anal stimulation, such a scenario might lead to a terribly embarrassing situation for all.

    At this point, my feeling is that if your desires are as strong as you’ve described, then you must have a candid and open discussion and let the chips fall where they may . Let him know that you are really turned on to his body…ALL of his body, and that you desire to caress and love him fully. Bring up his resistance over certain kinds of attention, and make him aware that you need more openness in your relationship together in order for you to be fulfilled. Frankly, I’m suggesting all of this for you , not for him, because as I stated at the outset I don’t really think that there is any changing such ideas when they are so strongly held. But I’m quite certain that if you didn’t attempt this and walked away from the relationship that you would always wonder...if I'd only..... But in any event, know this, being sexually compatible with a partner is no minor thing; it is an ESSENTIAL element of a successful relationship. So don’t discount your feelings! People who do only become increasingly frustrated and eventually sabotage their relationships out of resentment.

    On a different note, you must know that there are SO many men out there who would worship a woman like you. Frankly your post was like catnip to me! The notion of a lady who is as excited as you are about exploring the deepest and most intimate recesses of a man’s body, is the ultimate fantasy for every straight member in this forum. Of course this is precisely how I feel about a woman’s body. It's so refreshing to hear a woman describes similar feelings. And yes, I delight in rimming also! I ‘ve never found a woman who didn’t enjoy this, particularly when I’ve used Gspot and clitoral stimulation simultaneously (a terrific technique for generating multiple orgasms).

    As many in the forum are aware, I attended the Erotica LA convention with the Aneros reps this year. One of the most rewarding parts of the experience for me was having the opportunity to talk to women that came by who had the SAME desires as you’ve described. Some had their partners with them and some did not. As you might expect, a few of the guys needed a little coaxing. What was interesting was that as I explained how the Aneros worked, I could see the women getting excited about it, and invariably they would start talking their partners into trying it. There was this one couple in particular; the woman was a beautiful brunette, who had the most remarkable gleam in her eyes. As I described the Aneros experience I watched her gazing at her boyfriend in a way that said “ just wait ‘til I get you home…” The guy was funny he said to me “you know she really wants to play with my ass…” As we talked, I could just see them both getting revved up about it. They walked out of there with a SGX and a Helix (and a pocketful of complimentary lube) …it was great. I’m sure she has him lit up by now!

    Anyway this is the kind of relationship that you deserve. You are clearly a caring generous lover who desires a higher order of erotic interaction with a partner. Don’t settle for any less!

    Sincerely,

    BF Mayfield

    P.S. Do you ever get out to L.A.? ;) lol
  • Marlotta
    Posts: 1
    The Aneros was suggested on a sex forum my husband and I frequent. My husband is 24. He's always been very against anal play until I mentioned it on one of the posts. Now, he's thinking about it. Someone posted the link for the Aneros and I decided to check it out. I showed it to him and we decided to order it so it's here when he works up the nerve to try it out. I'm sure it will take a lot of talking through it and him trying it out on his own for a while before he is comfortable enough to do it in front of me. Either way, I'm super excited to see the pleasure he gets from it and incorporate it into our sex life.

    Marlotta
  • Edit
    Posts: 0
    Thanks for the great responses!
    As I was typing out the situation, it really helped me think it out, and I kind of came to the conclusion on my own that "B Mayfield" wrote... You're right, sexual compatibility is a must, no matter how good the rest of the relationship is. He may decide to explore new things just to keep me, but then he wouldn't be enjoying it, and that just takes out all the fun. So I think I already knew it wasn't going to work out, but needed that whole third persepective to admit it. Anyways, I told him that I wasn't feeling sexually satisfied and that it was starting to drive me away. I also said that it wasn't a lack of "skill" on his part, but a lack of interest in a deeper sexual experience and trying new things, which are important to me. I think he still took it the wrong way, but I was as careful and caring with my wording as anyone could expect me to be... He got upset and couldn't figure out what I was talking about, saying how he's "ALWAYS up for sex!" So I said, "how bout something different then? You take this digital camera and be the photographer for a dirty magazine, and I'll be the model, and you direct me into progressively more explicit poses until we're both too turned on to finish the photoshoot." He didn't say anything and gave me this really weird look after that, which pretty much killed my interest... Soooo I said "that's what I mean... I'm tired of constantly trying to talk you into things just to have you make me feel like I'm being too freaky. As far as I'm concerned, what I said just now is still really tame. You've known we're sexually different for a long time, and I need to find someone more like me. i'm sorry..."
    So I can't say it was easy, but I'm not nearly as heartbroken as I thought I'd be. I'm actually a little relieved, I guess hiding the strength of my sexuality had been turning into a real burden. For example, I own a (rather large) collection of sensual oils, flavored creams, blindfolds, toys, etc, and when I showed him a vibrator once, it intimidated him and freaked him out so badly that I've been trying to keep my collection hidden and worrying that he'd find it ever since! It sounds pretty silly now, but just a few days ago it was such a big source of angst and guilty
    desire. I was putting myself through a lot and didn't even exactly realize it...
    Anyways, I have to admit, reading this forum peaks my interest about all the other possibilities that could be out there for me... there's clearly quite a few more open-minded men around than I knew, guess I just haven't found any of them yet... hmmm... And I thought eveyone might be interested in how this turned out, so there ya go, that's the story.
    thanks again for your input!
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    Amy,

    Congratulations,... you were honest with your boyfriend and yourself! I'm confident that you will end up with someone more compatible...and he will too.

    I have to say I'm really impressed with how you drew him out (your X rated photo phantasy)! Man you are one hot lady! In reading your description, it made me feel like I'm being short changed myself! You're very creative!

    For the future, I suggest that you be open with your desires. And if your sharing is ever greeted by grimaces......BAIL! You are a lady who's ideas should be met with thunderous applause! If you're open with people about what you like.....in the way that you've been here....my guess is that there are few that won't want to go along for the ride. You might start with your "photo phantasy" to get things heated up a bit...then ratchet it up to taste!

    If you're up for a more in your face approach try asking for some yourself. I don't know if you enjoy rimming (recieving) or not..but the way that I see it, a girl like you deserves a guy that will pleasure her in this way. The idea is; teach by example, / turnabout is fair play


    Let me backpedal on one thing I said. With respect to anal, there are some guys that may need to be introduced slowly. That is, there are those who are not necessarily enamoured with it initially that will, (given the proper context) learn to love anal play. So keep this in mind.

    You might also try being demonstrative in your approach. For example, start with some perineal massage (the area between the scrotum and anus) combined with oral/genital contact. If this goes over well, replace your fingers (on the perineum) with your tongue and then slowly work your way down... to some rimming.

    Bear in mind that with someone who is an anal novice, it's always a good idea to combine the NEW with the FAMILIAR . So try to maintain some penile contact if at all possible. Better yet, make him come by this method....a good orgasm is excellent form of reinforcement.




    BF Mayfield
  • geezer
    Posts: 18
    I suspect your b/f may have had a bad anal experience whan a lot younger,
    as you may be aware, most young boys usually experience some form of homosexuality and then just move on to being normally hetro, some however react quite differently and if the experience was not pleasant or was painful in some way, it probably has long lasting effects which may only subside in much later years.You made the right decision and will probably be the best for him in the long term.
  • Edit
    Posts: 0
    Hi,
    Just wanted to add another woman perspective in! I am 24 years old and pretty sexual explicit - I am not shy, love sex but am inexperienced and a bit shy when it comes to bum stuff. My 2 cents worth is this:

    I have had two boyfriends who love butt stuff. My first one didn't do it with me (age 13-21) but we have discussed it after we broke up and he really enjoys bum things. But he swore me to secrecy, about the fact that he owns a butt plug. My other more recent boyfriend absolutely loved sticking things up his bum, and absolutley shocked (and I have to say a little grossed out) by putting my huge dildo all the way up his bum, and loving it. I have always licked his bum, and sometimes put a finger in during sex, but most of his fun was when he was masturbating by himself. (Our sex life deteriorated because of his premature ejaculation problems that never seemed to be able to be solved.)

    I am currently working on a writing assignment that requires me to research the Aneros, and what I've read has made me want to buy 4: one for each of my exes, one for me to do experiments on my next boyfriends/shags and one for a guy who I am meeting up with in a few months for one night. I now understand why the butt is so good for men.

    My problem, why I got a bit grossed out, was becuase I didn't understand what was up there and why it was so good. Nobody ever taught me, and my boyfriends could only say "its really good" (even though all of us are sexually experimental and open minded). Another reason I didn't like it so much was becuase I wasn't part of it - it was a solo thing for them, and they never taught me how or involved me in it, so I was 'useless'.

    In this respect, this is like women who hate their men looking at porn - because it doesn't include them. I have tried anal sex for myself before without much success (my first boyfriend had a very large penis). But now I realise how much I have been missing, in both my understanding and acceptance of my mens anal pleasure. I understand it now, and feel sorry that I was unable to be a part of the fun for so long.

    (I am pleased to announce that last night I deflowered my butt by myself, so I am now no longer a butt-virgin. I was always keen for it, but put off by pain etc.)

    Since reading so much about the Aneros, for my research, I am now feeling so open and informed - I now know why it works, how it works, what are the best methods and all the ins and outs. I feel empowered and confident and ready to try anything butt related now.

    So, perhaps a good way to help your women is to inform them with reading - that way they can go over it at their own pace, and absorb the information however they feel comfortable. If they are anything like me, soon enough they will be saying, so where do we buy one?!

    Women are afraid of things they dont understand when it comes to sex (just like men I suppose) and a lot of women really struggle to understand men on this level because our needs and desires seem so different. So... I guess this has helped me a lot. Send them to the forums and the information site! Who could not want their man to experience a full body, continuous, several-minute-long, non-ejaculatory orgasm!!! That seems like a gift, if there ever was one.

    I have to say I'm a bit jealous....: ) It sounds fantastic.

  • Edit
    Posts: 0
    I am 22 and wish I could meet girls like Melissa.

    You girls sound amazing and I wish their were more girls like you out there. I have had no luck, kind of how you refer to not being able to find guys -- I cannot find any women with open minds. Have failed on many occasions.

    Just sharing my story.

    BTW, Jane.. not sure if oyu still post here cuz your last posts seem old - but you are a great poster, and I really enjoy reading your insight.
  • Edit
    Posts: 0
    Sounds hot Jeeves, let's hook up! ;-)

    Seriously, though, I think sexually "adventurous" women have an even harder time finding open-minded men than vice versa, but that's just my own personal experience. Probably means I'm just looking in the wrong place... But god bless the internet for providing people with an anonymous atmosphere to talk about what they really feel.

    peace
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    Amy,

    Hope everything has gone well with you since your break up (you did break up right?). I still think about the delightful photophantasy that you discussed, ( I even visualize using mental images of this on occasion). I hope all is well by you and I'm glad to see that you're still checking in on us here. If we can ever be of service,..chime in!




    BF Mayfield
  • Edit
    Posts: 0
    I just got married a week ago to a man that I have been dating for a year and a half. I've known him since high school. Although the two of us are highly experimental (only between ourselves, we do not include other parties, nor do we do anything we think will hurt the other) he was extremely touchy about the idea of letting me use prostate stimulation to further his pleasure. Last night, I very slowly coaxed him into letting me. He absolutely loved it, but his only complaint was that insertion and removal of my finger (I used lotion on my hands only to ensure that I knew exactly how far in I was going)hurt him just a little. He said it wasn't really enough to bother him, but I was actually hoping one of you might know something that would help. He sas he wouldn't mind me doing that as long as I only use my fingers and so long as I can find a way that it doesn't hurt him as much. I hate to sound so clueless, but y'all seem to know a lot about this...
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    (this post was edited 2005-11-23 11:25:47)


    PrettyPuma,

    What a lucky guy to have a lady that cares this much about his pleasure and his comfort! First, I would suggest investing in some good water based (glycerin based) lube. KY, WET, ID Glide, Astroglide are all examples of this (I like KY jelly myself). STAY AWAY from "warming" type lubricants or those containing spermicidal ingredients (nonoxynol-9). They can cause desensitization or worse yet irritation.

    Most lotions and creams are oil based formulations great for topical application, but are no where near as slippery as a decent water based lube. They may also cause irritation of the sensative anal and rectal tissues.

    In terms of technique, consider engaging in a little anal foreplay prior to any penetration. If he's squeeky clean (just out of the shower), and you are so disposed, you might try a little oral-anal teasing. If this isn't your thing, try applying some lube to his anus, then give him a nice gentle massage on the exterior of his anus first. This will relax him and his anus, allowing him to become more accustomed to these sensations (making it easier to penetrate). Hopefully it will begin to turn him on as well, such that he will desire the penetration.

    Make certain that your fingernails are smooth and nicely clipped prior to attempting any insertion. Another alternative would be to use a latex or vinyl exam glove (although this isn't as pleasant). This is very important, as you want to avoid hurting him with a sharp finger nail.

    Now experiment with a limited penetration, preferably with a smaller finger. This must be done slowly, remembering that as you introduce your finger you are also lubricating the inner recesses of his anus. So, work slowly in and then pull out, (just a fraction of an inch at a time) being careful to always take in some of the lubrication from around the exterior of his anus with you. Reapply lubrication if necessary, and remember the anus and rectum ARE NOT self lubricating so you must do this for him. Again, slow in and out, going deeper...gradually.

    Over time you will begin to feel his anus relax, you may want to introduce a larger finger (if it's more comfortable for you) at this time. Remember to lubricate it prior to insertion.

    Things to try; move your finger gently in a very small circular motion so that you are going around and around the circumference of his anus. Lick or massage his perineum (the area between his anus and scrotum) simulataneously. See if you can find his perineal accupressure spot. When properly stimulated this area can produce sensation in the anus, perineum, prostate and penis all at the same time! You may consider stroking his penis or using you mouth on it too of course. If you do this at the same time, be prepared for an intense orgasm! Massaging his prostate is another option too...but that's probably best left for another day. Get him comfortable with this first.

    In all of these things TAKE YOUR CUES FROM HIM, he will likely demonstrate his pleasure or discomfort, so be observant.

    If you have any other questions, feel free to post or email. If not, let us know of the results!

    Good Luck,


    BF Mayfield

    P.S. If he's still uncomfortable, talk to him (sensuously) while you're doing this. Sometimes it's important to reinforce that this IS a loving thing! Particularly if a guy finds this kind of play awkward at first. You can even engage in some "nasty chat" ... some men really like it (I know I do) :)
  • Edit
    Posts: 0

    Originally Posted By: jane
    Hi

    Well, I understand it's a bit of a toboo for some, but hey life's short enough without hangups. A couple of my girlfriends were interested as their partners were also having a couple of problems, but they haven't done anything about it as they think it won't go down well. There's still a way to go. I've sworn all my friends to total secrecy as my marriage will be over if Pete gets any jokes at his expense in the locker room. He's happy with the benefits but won't tell his friends anything.

    Pete got a perspex wand thingy that he thought was good for really hard massage to release fluid, but sore when used for a longer period. Also too easy to insert too far when he climaxed, which worried him a bit. Therapist also sold him a normal dildo which has never ever been used by Pete becasue it looks like a real cock and he doesn't want to seem gay! It's pretty awful in any case. And a smallish vibe which Pete found uncomfortable - but I use it to vibrate the aneros sometimes and he has found the experience pretty good.

    Maybe it's tiem for a partner forum where wives and girlfriends can learn. After all we obsess over our g-spots and other bits, which can seem just a gross at times!

    Jane


    Jane using a strap-on dildo on Pete can work just as well.If you can coax him to overcome his homophobia it may be worth a try.And if you use a model with a vaginal and anal insert it can be qiute rewarding for you as well.


    Suze
  • Edit
    Posts: 0

    Originally Posted By: Puma
    I just got married a week ago to a man that I have been dating for a year and a half. I've known him since high school. Although the two of us are highly experimental (only between ourselves, we do not include other parties, nor do we do anything we think will hurt the other) he was extremely touchy about the idea of letting me use prostate stimulation to further his pleasure. Last night, I very slowly coaxed him into letting me. He absolutely loved it, but his only complaint was that insertion and removal of my finger (I used lotion on my hands only to ensure that I knew exactly how far in I was going)hurt him just a little. He said it wasn't really enough to bother him, but I was actually hoping one of you might know something that would help. He sas he wouldn't mind me doing that as long as I only use my fingers and so long as I can find a way that it doesn't hurt him as much. I hate to sound so clueless, but y'all seem to know a lot about this...


    Using your finger is not the safest way especially if your nail is sharp at any point.It would be better to use a small silicone dildo.Yoy may want to use a non-anatomical one so you do not add to his anxiety.One with an on-off vibrating switch if turned on at the point of climax.Remember,even if he has strong inhibitions if you can make the experience very pleasurable he will ask for more.
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    dfwOO,

    This forum is indeed dedicated to the anal pleasures of men. However, the anal pleasures of men are not at all inconsistent with female participation, that is if one is heterosexual. If one is not, it's easy enough to bypass this thread, A Wife's Perspective entirely...if you should so choose.

    The fact is that the Aneros may complement heterosexual, homosexual or more onanistic (solo) pursuits. Such diversity has been encouraged here in this forum.

    I for one am overjoyed to read all of the comments posted here. I know that they have been of tremendous benefit to many. They have never been off topic in so far as I can see. To the contrary, they have helped a great many (heterosexual) men out there broach the subject of anal/prostate stimulation and discover techniques on integrating it into their exploits with their partners.

    Ladies, please keep it coming!

    BF Mayfield

    P.S. I should mention that I was one of several users that conceived of having a special thread reserved for the ladies in the first place, so perhaps I'm a bit biased on the subject.
  • jane
    Posts: 11
    Hi all, well it's been a while but I have been looking in and seeing what everyone has been saying, and I have to say I feel humble at such great posts. Pete and I haven't been doing so much that's different from what you already know, and the Aneros is still giving us great pleasure. I have to say he isn't homophobic and it does hurt a litle to think that I may have made it appear that way. He simply found the dildo shaped like a cock repulsive to him, and I tended to share his view. And, like many men, he's a bit shy about admitting to others that he enjoys bum play. Anyway, you might be interested to hear that we've been trying out non-penetrative stimulation using a small vibe, a bit bigger than the bullet ones you see. When pressed very firmly between his balls and his anus there is a spot that starts to turn him on. Kept there, the vibe casues his erection to get harder and when masturbating he has found that if I keep pressing the vibe in to this spot it delays ejaculation until after a sizeable orgasm, and when I then stop he ejaculates harder and further than usual. We've tried it with and without the vibe, leaving each test a few days apart so that he should expel the same amount of fluid, and it's much more noticeable how greater the amount is when the vibe is used.

    We have also tried penetration using a jelly dildo recommended by our therapist. It's long -very long! - but soft and squidgy. After some fiddling we got it through Pete's sphincter - the softness being the problem - and fed it slowly into his anus. He took it all without feeling any discomfort -shorter "normal" dildos cased pain when in beyond Aneros length -and I then moved it very very slowly in and out. He found this to be an awesome experience as it seemed to stimulate his prostate and an area beyond. The result was a tiny trickle of fluid and a semi erection which, when touched, ejaculated normal spermy fluid followed by quite a lot of thinner liquid! Pete compared it to the Aneros saying one was like a good deep muscle massage which really unknots you, and the other was more like being gently stroked.

    Needless to say emptiness is everything and we never play without totally cleaning ourselves out. And lots of lube. I have as much fun with Anal play as Pete, but differently. But that's not for this forum. So bye for now

    Love Jane
  • ratt
    Posts: 1
    It is nice that we have women like this talk about have a good times with men that like to emprove there six life with this.. I hope we have more women on there to talk about it... Give there thing about it... thank you...
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    (this post was edited 2006-02-05 16:00:09)

    Originally Posted By: jane
    Hi all, well it's been a while but I have been looking in and seeing what everyone has been saying, and I have to say I feel humble at such great posts. Pete and I haven't been doing so much that's different from what you already know, and the Aneros is still giving us great pleasure. I have to say he isn't homophobic and it does hurt a litle to think that I may have made it appear that way. He simply found the dildo shaped like a cock repulsive to him, and I tended to share his view. And, like many men, he's a bit shy about admitting to others that he enjoys bum play. Anyway, you might be interested to hear that we've been trying out non-penetrative stimulation using a small vibe, a bit bigger than the bullet ones you see. When pressed very firmly between his balls and his anus there is a spot that starts to turn him on. Kept there, the vibe casues his erection to get harder and when masturbating he has found that if I keep pressing the vibe in to this spot it delays ejaculation until after a sizeable orgasm, and when I then stop he ejaculates harder and further than usual. We've tried it with and without the vibe, leaving each test a few days apart so that he should expel the same amount of fluid, and it's much more noticeable how greater the amount is when the vibe is used.

    We have also tried penetration using a jelly dildo recommended by our therapist. It's long -very long! - but soft and squidgy. After some fiddling we got it through Pete's sphincter - the softness being the problem - and fed it slowly into his anus. He took it all without feeling any discomfort -shorter "normal" dildos cased pain when in beyond Aneros length -and I then moved it very very slowly in and out. He found this to be an awesome experience as it seemed to stimulate his prostate and an area beyond. The result was a tiny trickle of fluid and a semi erection which, when touched, ejaculated normal spermy fluid followed by quite a lot of thinner liquid! Pete compared it to the Aneros saying one was like a good deep muscle massage which really unknots you, and the other was more like being gently stroked.

    Needless to say emptiness is everything and we never play without totally cleaning ourselves out. And lots of lube. I have as much fun with Anal play as Pete, but differently. But that's not for this forum. So bye for now

    Love Jane


    Dear Lady Jane,

    Glad to hear from you a'GAIN. You always amaze with the openness and generosity that you show your partner. You are one dedicated lady! WOW! So how long and thick is this silicone dil anyway? Also, when you refer to stimulating his balls and anus (without penetration), perhaps what you've accessed tangentially is the perineal accupressure point (an area I've often referred to as the "sweet spot'). I've developed the ability to have Super O's from massaging this area alone. Stimulation of this area can make for powerful ejaculatory orgasms as well.

    Despite what some others may think, I for one would love to hear some tidbits about YOUR own anal exploits. For instance, do you climax from anal stimulation alone? Btw. I consider such details definitely ON TOPIC as they encourage us all to broaden our perspectives. After all, what's good for the gander is good for the goose ... yes? I've long been an advocate of turning women on to anal stimulation as means of gaining an opening for.. reciprocation.

    Any information that you could give on anal techniques for women would ultimately serve that purpose. Consider it please!

    Be well!


    BF Mayfield
  • Edit
    Posts: 0
    This is one awesome thread, very informative.

    One thing not mentioned that I discovered myself is that there is a big learning curve that includes educuation. The Aneros is the best thing since sliced bread, those that have used it understand. I have been married 25 years, we are intimate and share our feelings.

    The stigma of our backsides and liking stimulation takes time not to be self concious for most men. Gay guys have a big advantage there. When my wife first started with fingers, I loved it, but felt guilty showing it. Thankfully she could read my body language. Never pushing and always talking we discoverd butt plugs and vibrators together. Awesome pleasure but still some guilty feelings, we took a long time and talked alot. After two years of this she supprised me one night. During a hot tub soak she then produced the Aneros. Blushing I let her slide it into place. Instantly the feeling was overwhelming. I stood facing her holding on for dear life as my mussles involentary movement worked that toy and me into three orgasam waves, yet no ejaculation. It was wild. When she started to remove it, I orgasamed fluid everywhere. I was embarassed, but thrilled she had done it.

    Since then she has shown me more, but I have had to overcome homophobic feelings. One night after my shower, she discoverd I had my Aneros in place. Patting my backside she disapeared to "leve me to my fun". I was shocked when she returned with a cowboy hat, black fishnet stockings, black teddy, black spike heels, and wearing a purple harness with a very real looking cock sicking up! Blushing I did not know what to say. She started the music and slid into the bed beside me. I did not know what to do, or say. She whispered in my ear that tonight was all about me and how she had wanted to give me what I really wanted for a long time! I just let it all happen. I have grown enough to try anything in the search of pleasure. I orgasamed twice as she toyed with the Aneros before removing it. Totaly embarrased, but excited none the less when she pulled me up to my knees, on the edge of the bed. Stepping in behind me, she then gave me the most intense pleasure of my life. Its still hard to be this open that it felt so good. I am not gay, but life without the Aneros and the orgasams that it has taught me, and the other pleasures that I have learned would be pretty dull.

    Thanks for a wonderfull product.
  • nood1963
    Posts: 113
    Hello Sam,
    You are so lucky to have a wife like yours. One who isn't afraid to show you the other not so popular way to have sexual fulfillment. You must feel awfully lucky. Have fun with the aneros and tell your wife she is "really special"....nood
  • Edit
    Posts: 0
    Hey, I was just wondering if any of the ladies out there have ever tried this themselves. Now I have a basic understanding of the human body, and the differences between men and women, and I realize that the Aneros is made for men as a prostate stimulator, but I was wondering if any women have used it (either analy or vaginaly) and what their experiences with it were.
  • Edit
    Posts: 0

    Originally Posted By: Billdo

    Originally Posted By: Jack
    This is a very interesting thread. I am 53 and have had some E.D. for the last 2 years. About 12 months ago I bought a "g" spot style 8" vibrator, and have experimented with it a lot. I have always loved a good prostate massage, which I first experienced at 21 years old from a Korean girlfriend, while she gave me exquisite head. I got over any "homophobic" hangups back then, and have always enjoyed anal stimulation (finger, tongue, even a couple of two finger massages by male massuers long, long ago). My PSA is normal and I do not have any urination problems or pain, but when I began stimulation of my prostate with the g-spot vibe, I could actually feel the expulsion of "congested" semen (I had a vasectomy 16 years ago). As I continued to stroke my cock the semen would come out, and some 1/4" to 1/2" long strings of "congealed" clear/yellow semen, about a pencil lead in diameter. I now massage my prostate about every 2 days, and have better ejaculate amounts and shoot further.
    My wife (of 28 years) has massaged me digitally, and she will use the g-spot vib on me when I ask (I usually give her a slow, mind-blowing oral orgasm first), and she enjoys stroking me and watching me come. We have always been very open about what feels good--and I have always made sure she has 1 orgasm first before I pop my rocks. But I am going to order an Aneros and use it during intercourse, to see if it will stimulate me and maybe eliminate the need for Viagra. I can always get a nice hardon, and often wake up with a hardon, but sometimes it fades after 10-15 minutes. I have always needed 15-30 minutes of actual stimulation (by hand, mouth, or in her vagina or anus) to reach orgasm--I'm the reverse of most men, and have never had premature or "too soon" ejaculation. We would both like it if I could pop in 5-10 minutes, as I enjoy foreplay so much that she often has her first orgasm within 2 or 3 minutes after I penetrate her.
    Maybe the Aneros will speed up my ejaculation.
    I'm basing my hopes on the one time in my life (30 years ago) when I had a 3-some with 2 Korean girls. I was fucking one missionary style and the other rimmed my anus and then inserted one, and finally two fingers and massaged my prostate--I blew so stongly and had such intense sphincter contractions that Kim said I hurt her fingers! I would love to feel that again--(I've tried to orgasm with a vibrator in my ass while fucking my wife, but my contractions expel the vib just as I orgasm).
    Jane--thanks for all your comments, very good reading.
    Men-don't be afraid of anal stimulation, it's all about who you are with, not what you're doing--the anus has an amazing amount of nerve endings!


    Trust me, if you use it during sex you'll be able to climax much faster...if that's what you want.

    I've never had any erection problems but I do take a LONG time to climax. Judicious use of the Aneros MGX results in my being able to climax much sooner if desired. It just builds faster and little squeezes on my part allow me to manage my own level of stimulation while receiving manual, or oral stimulation, or during intercourse.

    It is the difference between a 30 minute blowjob that feels great and a 10 minute blowjob that feels awesome!


    Thank you for finally answering Jack's question as to whether or not the aneros would speed up the time to ejaculation. My husband has never had any erectile dysfunction but has long had "to work too hard" (as he would say) to reach orgasm. So I was very intrigued by the aneros when I first saw it. Having finally found this site and forum I am ready order our first.
    We are both in our early fifties and have for many years enjoyed anal play--in both directions! While we started out with touching and stroking, we did progress to fingering and finally the "bend over boyfriend". As someone said earlier much of sex is in the mind and that's why giving pleasure is in itself pleasurable!
    I am a little confused though on the different choices of aneros. Anyone have any suggestions?