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On Expectations
  • PommiePommie
    Posts: 1,008
    Newbies to Aneros activities are always advised by experienced users and ‘senior’ members of this forum to go into each Aneros session with “no expectations”! I have to speak up on behalf of those who have used Aneros devices for some weeks or months with no, or little, response and who have become frustrated by this.

    It is obvious that if you genuinely commence a session with no expectations, there would be no point in commencing the session at all! Of course, we all go into each session with some sorts of expectations of the outcome. It’s just that whatever those expectations are, they need to be realistic.

    At the very start of my journey, a little over two years ago now, (with absolutely no experience of anal penetration), I immediately received some very strange, albeit very pleasant sensations from my SGX and I always anticipated that some day these would develop into the holy grail of a super-O. Needless to say, that didn’t happen for quite a while. In fact, I didn’t receive what I could recognise as a real super-O until a full two years later.

    I persisted with Aneros sessions, usually having two or three sessions each week for all of that time. I think what kept me going was that, at various points in the journey, I would receive a special reward in the form of one or more anal orgasms (dry Os), many of them being multiple orgasms within the same session. Sometimes these MMOs would continue for over an hour, coming in waves, but still with nothing that I would define as a super-O. On many occasions, the feelings being felt with these events were quite different from anything I had felt before. The element of surprise was very much part of the pleasure involved.

    I should add that during this time, I experimented with various Aneros models. Whilst I had started with the SGX, within weeks I had moved on to the Helix and the Eupho. After a year, I was playing with the Peridise models before settling on the 18mm version. At one point, I even favoured the Maximus. Incidentally, I came to the MGX pretty late in the journey.

    At the start of each session, it is probably fair to say that I did expect to receive at least some pleasure waves and that, if I was lucky, I would receive one or more dry Os. I certainly didn’t expect to have a super O and when that did happen, it came as a total mind-blowing surprise. What’s more I was able to repeat the experience a couple of nights later.

    The next surprise came as somewhat of a disappointment. I had no more super-Os for the next several weeks and at one point, I wondered if the experiences I had enjoyed were actually super-Os. It was with some joy that I had accepted that I had suddenly become “rewired”. What I was to discover was that the completion of rewiring is itself a process that is gradual and may take some days or weeks.

    I have just been through about a week when I have been able to have Aneros sessions both at night and early in the morning, (each session being between one and two hours duration). I do believe that this has helped to lock in the advances that I have made, but even now, I cannot definitively say that I am completely rewired! Nevertheless, I have this week had a few more super-Os, one of which resulted in a feeling of having been right at the PONR of an ejaculatory orgasm. It went on continuously for at least ten minutes, but it was actually dry! Absolutely mind-blowing!

    For those “Grinders” and strugglers-with-frustration, may I urge you to continue with your journey but with the expectation that your wishes will one day be granted.

    It’s just that no one can predict when that day will come. Just be assured that it will be a wonderful and rewarding surprise when it does!

    Perhaps a realistic expectation at the beginning of your session might be “if not this time, maybe next time I will have something wonderful and unexpected, happen”.

    Meanwhile, just enjoy the ride!
  • brinebrine
    Posts: 311
    Well put, Pommie.

    For me, the "no expectations" suggestion works out to be more of "don't decide what to expect, only expect new and interesting things." I am never disappointed with this "expectation." I think the advice is given because, traditionally, men have a very specific expectation and that expectation short-circuits prostate orgasm. And we (men) are originally wired to know where to go and how to get there. This journey is, as we all well know, no where near that linear train of thought. The journey is cyclical, spiraling, chaotic, non-linear.

    I completely agree with your revised "expectation." - “if not this time, maybe next time I will have something wonderful and unexpected, happen."

    "Wonderful and unexpected" things are on the horizon for us all.

  • rookrook
    Posts: 1,833
    Perhaps some Affirmation though.

    Pommie and Brine ring my bell with these posts and I share in the caution to avoid expectations or "hope/pray" for something to be given. I too have found they "short-circuit" our path and abbreviate our appreciation of the sensations that flood our bodies and brains.

    For example, things seem go go better when I think of nip-stim as partnering with the current pleasure rather than 'pushing it along' to the next level.

    During my preparation for each "Anerosgasmic" session, I compose a brief Mantra (140 or fewer characters). It affirms my path through whatever pleasures and blessings there may be. I think it important to set myself up to be always mindful of the "present moment" rather than to generate anxiety over what the future might hold.

    Entering my session, as I reach a relaxed meditative state I repeat my mantra. It affirms my path through the pleasures and blessings that may come my way. It asks for nothing.

    I like to remember the words that ArcticWolves so elegantly gave us: "-~~To be upset over what you DON'T have is to waste what you DO have.~~-"
  • ten_s_nutten_s_nut
    Posts: 888
    Pommie and Brian;

    I'm glad you guys pointed out that expectations of one sort or another are inevitable. The "no expectations" mantra is silly, to say the least. Every night, I have the expectation that I will enjoy my Aneros and have some type(s) of O. There have been zero failures to meet this expectation for more than 6 months.

    BTW, anybody who persists with Aneros for over 2 years before they get a Super-O deserves some kind of medal, or at least a discount at the Aneros website store.

    Best Regards,

  • brinebrine
    Posts: 311
    Great ideas and comments, men.

  • twlltintwlltin
    Posts: 603
    [QUOTE=rook;101623]I compose a brief Mantra (140 or fewer characters).
    That's tweet of you. ;)
  • I think I have a few words to add to this, inspired by what has already been said and what I have thought over the last month or so.

    I've entered each session trying to count on (expect) one thing: That it will feel good. (because it certainly has so far)

    One thing I have realized is how truly 'out of my depth' I am with these wonderful devices. (I use a Helix and Progasm). Hell, I'm to the point I wouldn't even know what to expect if I could! It's that much more different than anything else I've experienced.

    Both of those things are what keeps me going, that it feels good and it's so dramatically different. I've gotten to the point to where I actually feel what happens as a wonderful internal massage; and man, that in itself is fantastic, couple that with the.. usual 'sparkling' feeling of the toy roaming around in there.

    Come to think of it, that's really a great way to respond to what the Aneros does: like a massage. Naturally, one might immediately slacken up and just enjoy it. I sure know it's been working for me, and really, just makes it feel better. Though, I do have to admit: Before that particular motion of the toy felt good, it felt just strange. I think, until, the idea popped into my head, 'Oh! It's a massage!'. Well, maybe anyway! Don't quite remember the defining moment, but that is likely to have been it.

    It's really a learning experience (another way to put the idea of 'rewiring' or journey I think.) so it does take some time. I can say that trying too much at once doesn't help; and there certainly is a -ton- of methodology in the wiki and on the forums that one could choose from.

    I've found it best to drop it all and just take one piece of advice 'Relax and enjoy', and maybe try one thing here and one thing there. I've found that to be the best way to even gauge what does what without over-cluttering my mind and the experience. Hell, you can pick up on things as you go as it is; especially if all you really focus on is what you are feeling.

    Doesn't mean one might not get frustrated; but I do earnestly believe that it helps make it all the more enjoyable.

    I haven't had a super-o yet, but I can say this: I know if I keep enjoying it like this, I won't really care because, wow, damn it still feels good! Mmmf.

    Hell, to me, the Progasm feels good in there without even moving. I love that thing.

    - Fox