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Typical Female Responses to Anal Play Propositions
  • jocco
    Posts: 90
    I've recently begun to break out of a sexual shell that had otherwise kept me pretty closed about my sexuality (see my blog entry entitled: Sexual Openness of a Shy Guy). I've never experimented with anal play with a partner before, and frankly am afraid to go about it. I've started seeing a girl and would like to bring it up. If she were older, I'd be less concerned about her response, but she's 22... maybe I'm just being judgmental??

    What are some typical female responses to this subject?

    Jocco
  • [QUOTE=jocco;99900]I've recently begun to break out of a sexual shell that had otherwise kept me pretty closed about my sexuality (see my blog entry entitled: Sexual Openness of a Shy Guy). I've never experimented with anal play with a partner before, and frankly am afraid to go about it. I've started seeing a girl and would like to bring it up. If she were older, I'd be less concerned about her response, but she's 22... maybe I'm just being judgmental??

    What are some typical female responses to this subject?

    Jocco


    Typical response.....Oh, that's GAY!

    sometimes...Oh, that's cool

    It depends on the female.
  • rookrook
    Posts: 1,604
    ..."Remember that I said NO before we were married, and that hasn't changed."
  • ten_s_nutten_s_nut
    Posts: 817
    Hello, jocco.

    Despite many attempts on my part over the past 20 odd years, my wife has never much enjoyed me giving her anal anything, including rimming. So, it's been very occasional. On the other hand, she has always been willing to use her finger on me, and for the last 3 months or so, she's into pegging.

    One thing that I think made her OK with fingering and pegging is, she knows my rectum is clean as a whistle. If your GF doesn't already know you keep a clean house down there, tell her and show her if she's doubtful.

    Cheers,

    Dave
  • jocco
    Posts: 90
    I guess I'm lucky that I'm still technically single and therefore, not tied to one answer. It's clear there is a full spectrum of responses. ten_s_nut, sounds like you're a lucky man too!

    I think the big thing for me is just being able to talk about it with a girl- what I'm up to down there, regardless of whether she's into joining in. That will be a big breakthrough. One step at a time, I suppose.

    Thanks for the responses, guys!

    J
  • I think this is an appropriate place to share this article I was reading the other day-

    Article :: Hitting the He-Spot

    An excerpt...

    Grant Stoddard, author of Working Stiff, has felt his share of fingers: The book chronicles his exploits as Nerve.com’s sexual guinea pig. “You can be on a first date with a girl, and she’s trying to get a finger up your ass,” Grant tells me. “And it’s happening with increasing frequency.”



    Girls are starting to explore. They’ve discovered another way to push the envelope of an increasingly edgier sexual culture. “When it comes to fingering guys, women are the new teenage boys,” says Grant. “They’ve heard that guys like it and they are ready to mete out pleasure with maximum enthusiasm and minimum empathy.”



    “I like playing with guys’ butts,” says Amy, a 30 year-old from Brooklyn, NY. “And if a guy is weirded-out by it, then that gives me pause. Is he close-minded? Is he just a tight-ass?”



    This flips the issue on its head. To women like Amy, the straight guy who doesn’t like butt play needs psychoanalysis. The anti-ass contingent arguably carries a whiff of sexual hypocrisy. After all, traditional guy/girl anal sex is both accepted and celebrated as a sign of sexual conquest; the man is dominant, the woman is his bitch.



    “Why does he think my butt’s okay to play with, but his isn’t?” asks Amy. “Is it because I’m a woman? Is he also going to assume that after dinner, I need to clean the dishes?”



    LOL, I can only hope I'm able to find a woman like Amy someday...
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    While there are a variety of possible responses pro and con to the discussion of anal play, fact is that you'll never know for certain what it will be unless you put it out there. IMO, unless you're dealing with a "party girl" this isn't the kind of conversation that one has prior to a first encounter. While all sexual acts involve a level of intimacy, some are more intimate than others. What is more intimate varies from individual to the next, but with respect to anal play I would hazard a guess that many women would regard this on the more intimate level. That said, I have heard about several studies that have shown that younger women are opting for anal intercourse in lieu of vaginal intercourse to "maintain their virginity" , so who knows. My sense of it is, once you become sexually active with someone and have established some comfort level with them, it's probably a good time to broach this. As a prelude, I've often suggested that one attempts a subtle forms of anal play with your partner to break the ice...something like stroking or pressing on her anus with the pad of your finger during intercourse (avoid penetration unless she is responsive to it). The idea here is, if she responds well to it, it's a simpler matter to discuss your desires. If you get no positive feedback it may require a more direct approach.

    I should mention that many of the men in this forum discovered this realm of sexuality well after they established relationships with women. In some instances it has made such disclosure a little more difficult (but not impossible). For you, being a younger man forming a new relationship it is a bit different. Look at it this way, if this lady is unwilling to rise to the occasion with you, there will be others that will. If having this kind of pleasure is important to you, best that you find someone who is on the same page with you.

    So how do you proceed? Ask her if she has ever heard of the G-spot, (chances are she'll say yes, if not, be prepared to discuss it with her, an area inside her vagina that can generate intense prolonged orgasms). Then tell her, " it turns out that men have a G-spot as well, and that it's possible to have whole-body orgasms that go on for minutes at a time by stimulating it. What has been happening between us has been very special and I've been having a terrific time with you and I'm thinking I would really like you to explore this with me....." Then explain to her what and where the male G-spot is. If she responds with " isn't that what gay guys do? " tell her, "I suppose some do, but I've been reading about a lot of straight guys that enjoy this. And from what I understand the experience has nothing to do with sexual preference anyway... actually the practice goes back 1000's of years to the teachings of Tantra and the Tao....Western culture is just getting wise to it now..."

    Adjust to taste....



    BF Mayfield
  • Um, I am not the OP and I'm not in a relationship or even on the brink of one I don't believe so I'm not sure why you are addressing me as such but thanks for the advice, lol.

    Anyways, just happened upon that article the other day and thought I'd share it. If what it says is generally true it's nice to know anal play is becoming more accepted; gives me hope of finding a female partner one day that would be willing to help me indulge in certain fantasies...
  • jocco
    Posts: 90
    I think B was responding to my post and mixed us up, although what he said is relevant regardless of circumstance.
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    Guys,

    LOL, I often multi-task, having several threads open on different browsers as works in progress. There was another authored by Sensitiveguy22 that I was responding to around the same time. Yes, indeed my intention was to address the issue that Jocco had brought up. No offense intended Sensitiveguy22.

    Jocco, I hope this helps.


    All the best,


    BF Mayfield
  • No offense taken, seems like good advice, just unfortunately I don't have a girlfriend and perhaps never will...
  • jocco
    Posts: 90
    It does B, thanks! I'm now not dating the 22 year old- switched to a 31 year old... I get the impression she's significantly more open...
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    Best of luck with that, keep us posted!

    BF Mayfield
  • jocco
    Posts: 90
    No need to worry about that- I think posting after something memorable is half the fun!
  • Linghaman
    Posts: 231
    My sexual awakening occured 15 years ago and my prostate awakening began in earnest 3 years ago. I am 60 years old and have been married to the same woman for 39 years. It took me until 3 years ago until she was excited about prostate massage. She would have done it before but she didn't care about it. Now since my super O's have come into the bedroom, she is fascinated. Sometimes it takes a woman a little while to get warmed up ... like 35 years. Based on that I wouldn't bring it up on the first date LOL LOL LOL.
  • jocco
    Posts: 90
    Makes sense, bigguy, but then Bs advice for us younger fellas makes sense too. Why not find a woman who's into it right from the get go? They can't be that hard to find...
  • PommiePommie
    Posts: 715
    I am 72 and Mrs P is 75. We have been married for 47 years and I started this journey a little over two years ago.

    It has taken me nearly 26 months to achieve my first Super-O, the first one having arrived only a couple of weeks ago. Up till then my Aneros practice had been done solo, although my wife did know that I had these devices for therapeutic reasons (prostate health and haemorrhoid relief).

    The arrival of the first Super-O resulted in us having our first serious discussion about my Aneros activities and we have since been quite open about it. I doubt very much though, that I will ever get her to be as involved as many of your partners seem to be. I am at least able to prepare and insert the chosen toy before we start to make love. It is just nice that we can enjoy sex together with us both now knowing that an Aneros is involved. I think it has brought us much closer together.