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Partnered sex and the aneros
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    From time to time there have been posts that have appeared in various threads that related details on utilizing the Aneros in a partnered setting. The content has been terrific, but it has often become lost as the discussion digresses into other areas. I figured it was high time that we dedicate a thread to this topic. At the adult expos most of the people that come up to the Aneros booth are in fact couples, seeking greater degrees of intimacy with one another. Still, while the forum has been a tremendous resource for self discovery through solo activity, it often leaves partners wondering where they fit it. This is evidenced by the numerous posts from men and women over the years who've stated that they are looking for ways to integrate the Aneros into their partnered sessions. To add to that, with all the discussions about orgasms and sensuality, there is precious little written about the implications of passion, caring, ....and yes even love. Yet these things can have tremendous impact on the kinds of experiences that are possible between married couples, partners and significant others.

    It is my hope that we can gain some insight here that can be used to help folks with questions about these issues. In addition to that I'm looking to use some of this material for our ongoing efforts to expand the Aneros WIKI. Consequently, I want this thread to remain on topic as much as possible and I am asking for everyone's help to keep it that way. To be clear, I am not seeking a debate about the merits of using the Aneros with partnered sex vs. going solo. Nor am I looking for a discussion on perceived inequities in the arousal cycle of males vs. females. There are other threads for that. Rather the concept here is to explore the ways that the Aneros can be used to reach higher levels of intimacy between people, and to discuss the impact that it has had in their lives.

    In 2005 I wrote a post for my B's Best of BEELINE thread entitled Couples Benefits that outlined many of my feelings about using the Aneros with a partner. Nowadays the thing that I return to is the notion of Aneroses as training devices (Tantric Training Wheels). For as great as this product is as an erotic amplifier it is even more powerful as catalyst for greater awareness. This awareness has the potential of promoting changes that run the gamut of human experience.....physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual. With this awareness one can generate a union of bliss . In my opinion there is no more intimate experience possible between two people.

    What say you?




    BF Mayfield
  • Brian;

    Glad to see you address this topic. As you may have noticed from my posts, I use Aneros both with my wife and kind of solo, laying next to her. I said kind of because she knows I've got a Eupho inside me all night. (I know it's not recommended and I'm carefully monitoring all potential problems.)

    The Tantric aspect of these devices is a big deal, rapidly enabling extended lovemaking that only Tantric Yoga masters could aspire to after much practice. Decades ago, I studied Tantra for several years with a girlfriend who was a Yoga instructor. We never got as proficient at orgasm control and mind/body/spirit awareness as my wife and I have in 4 months with the Aneros. Great training wheels, indeed.

    In hindsight, I'm glad I had an enlarged prostate or I never would have discovered the products, this place, and a whole new dimension of experience.

    Best Regards,

    Dave
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,254
    Brian,

    This is an excellent topic for discussion and I hope we get some of our lady members to also add their insights into the dynamics of Aneros use in their relationships.

    IMHO, the learning a man acquires as a result of his becoming rewired makes him a better lover. The patience needed to get to the Super-O zone on a solo basis is equally beneficial when engaged with a partner. Just as a man learns to tune into and respond to his own body, he simultaneously may develop the ability to watch and respond to the subtle body language of his partner during partnered lovemaking. This applies to male/male or male/female partnerships. This learning (once a man knows how to have multiple orgasms) allows for a more leisurely approach to lovemaking as the man is not in a rush to get to a session ending ejaculatory orgasm. This slowdown may be much appreciated by some women who need extended time periods of foreplay to achieve orgasms of their own. [QUOTE=B Mayfield;95573] ...Aneroses as training devices (Tantric Training Wheels). For as great as this product is as an erotic amplifier it is even more powerful as catalyst for greater awareness. This awareness has the potential of promoting changes that run the gamut of human experience.....physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual. With this awareness one can generate a union of bliss . In my opinion there is no more intimate experience possible between two people. Beautifully said, I think there are many members here who have discovered or are in the process of discovering this synergistic sharing for themselves. Once one gets past the phase of only "ME" and opens themself to the idea of "US" then the relationship can become much more than the sum of two. As good as solo practice may be, the potential in a loving partnership is even better.
  • Love_isLove_is
    Posts: 1,672
    Hello Brian, :)

    Thank you for creating this. I think you are going to have many thankful men and women with the good on topic information posted here.
    Unfortunately I don't have much couples experience with the Aneros to add anything truly inspiring at the moment.

    Love_is
  • artformartform
    Posts: 1,481
    Hi Brian, B Mayfield!! :D :D Great and vital new thread, thanks so much!!! And thanks ten_s_nut, rumel and Love_is!!! :D

    I have written at length about my adventures with mrs. a and our "mutual prostates practice", based on my mixed Aneros/KSMO solo practice, in my blog: http://www.aneros.com/displayblog.php?id=3544

    In the June/September period 2009, I also started three Polls to quiz our flock here from the couples perspective;

    1. http://www.aneros.com/forum/f6/%2Acouples-introductory-practices-13577/

    2. http://www.aneros.com/forum/f6/%2Acouples-practices-13280/

    3. http://www.aneros.com/forum/f6/%2Acouples-additional-practices-13578/

    They have not attracted a lot of votes or posts to date, but those that are there are valuable for sure! Perhaps we need an added Poll, with a more retrospective experiential range of questions with this thread.

    I will soon write more here directly to your crisp focus: "...the concept here is to explore the ways that the Aneros can be used to reach higher levels of intimacy between people, and to discuss the impact that it has had in their lives." Certainly there have been lots of chats when a few or several coupled Anerosians chat about all of this.

    Again, thanks very much.

    artform
  • zanebluezaneblue
    Posts: 224
    I've recently learned that it is important to be very cautious with this ability, at least the female equivalent. Having lots of these orgasms over time with a partner engenders a strong emotional bond. Perhaps oxytocin? It's trickier for a woman because we can have these during regular intercourse. I would assume that with Super-O's, a woman wouldn't be pegging a man or having him use the Aneros unless the relationship was already on an intimate and loving basis.

    My instincts have been telling me this all along; finally it is in my rational mind and makes a lot of sense.

    What I am trying to say is you should guard that until you find someone special who loves you. Because you will have strong feelings for her over time.

    And I have made up my mind that I'm not having traditional intercourse or let a man have his fingers inside me until I can give him Super-O's, because otherwise it upsets the balance of power.
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    s[QUOTE=zaneblue;95741]I've recently learned that it is important to be very cautious with this ability, at least the female equivalent. Having lots of these orgasms over time with a partner engenders a strong emotional bond. Perhaps oxytocin? It's trickier for a woman because we can have these during regular intercourse. I would assume that with Super-O's, a woman wouldn't be pegging a man or having him use the Aneros unless the relationship was already on an intimate and loving basis.

    My instincts have been telling me this all along; finally it is in my rational mind and makes a lot of sense.

    What I am trying to say is you should guard that until you find someone special who loves you. Because you will have strong feelings for her over time.

    And I have made up my mind that I'm not having traditional intercourse or let a man have his fingers inside me until I can give him Super-O's, because otherwise it upsets the balance of power.



    Zane,

    Thank you for your observations, as usual you've touched upon something very interesting....and yes this makes a lot of sense. In the Super O you have an experience that produces ecstatic levels of sensation, outpourings of emotion and even spiritual awakenings in some, and all of this is possible alone... with oneself no less! It's little wonder that sharing this with another human being would establish an emotional connection. After all, what could be more intimate than this? It is possible to experience a unique interaction and powerful exchange of energy with a partner. This is the union or joining of essences often referred to in Tantra and the Tao. It would seem inevitable that a bonding would occur or certainly be enhanced where one already exists.

    While this is something that may have more relevance to the adepts around here it is a factor that one should consider if there are engaged in more casual contact. It certainly gives new meaning to that old question......do I really want to go all the way?




    BF Mayfield
  • Zane, Have you posted any of your pegging adventures on here. I would love to hear about them, from a female perspective.
  • zanebluezaneblue
    Posts: 224
    Well, to make a long story short I was emotionally damaged in my marriage, which led me to discover physiological ways to improve my libido so I could enjoy sex with my husband even while disliking him. That led to my tantric awakening and helping other women and my book and all that. But the emotional damage remained, even while I became adept at higher chakra orgasms, etc. So the relationships I have had have deliberately been not serious, interspersed with periods of celibacy.

    It is only been in the past year that I have gone in the backdoor with my men. :) None have them have had the ability to have Super-O's, so while it was fun for me, they could not match me in pleasure. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but the problem is that I have been some months with the same man, which is the longest relationship I have been in since my divorce, and he's very good at giving me vaginal orgasms. I thought there was no danger since I've been emotionally damaged. I didn't really think I would be able to feel much of anything. But much to my surprise, I suddenly did. I realized it was directly tied to all the orgasms I had been having, almost like a drug.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is here in middle age I've finally discovered how dangerous sex can be. Which is pretty comical. Even in fantasy when I was having all those orgasms by myself, I had heightened emotional states, and the feeling of a mystical "partner"--no doubt due to some trick of brain chemistry.
  • Hello, all.

    A few months ago, I put the Helix aside and switched to the Eupho because the Helix either reduced endurance during sex (to about 3 minutes) with my wife or "blocked" ejaculation and I got numb. I know, those conditions seem to be contradictory but I didn't bother with experimenting and analyzing at the time.

    Last night, after my wife and I had sex without Aneros, I slept for about 5 hours, then woke and inserted the Helix. Instant erection. I gently poked my wife awake and we went at at, doggy position. The result was many Dry-Os during intercourse until my back started to get sore after about 20 minutes and I had to stop. Usually, in the same situation with the Eupho, I either get to a climax or go into Super-O land before my back gives out. Conclusion: my Helix is going back into retirement.

    Cheers,

    Dave
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    In recent years I've come to a similar conclusion about the Helix with regard to partnered sex. The focused touch that makes the Helix a first line device in solo play seems to work against it with partnered action. As Dave noted, I too have found it effective at producing Dry-O's albeit not as comfortably as with the Eupho. The Eupho has been my favorite for partnered sex for quite some time. It provides a gentler yet very active stroking on the prostate while one is grinding.

    The Peridise is also marvelous for this application. Although it doesn't provide much in the way of prostate stimulation it does generate some wonderful anal sensations. It's funny, I'll become aware of the Peridise while I'm having sex and I can feel that little thing moving so much back there, it's whips me into a frenzy. Like the tail wagging the dog !


    Recently I've been experimenting with the VICE and I have to say, that it is out of this world when used with a partner. While this would seem counter-intuitive given my comments about the Helix, the fact that it's made of silicone makes all the difference. When used in this way the VICE produces a very full feeling yet the softness of the device allows you to comfortably grind. It almost feels like you're being
    simultaneously pegged while you're thrusting away on your partner. It's the best of both worlds my friends! I love it.




    BF Mayfield
  • OK, Brian, I'll give the VICE a go for partnered sex.

    I've been hesitating about buying one mainly due to the lack of independent reviews of the product on the Web.

    I'll report back in due time.

    Cheers,

    Dave
  • Edit
    Posts: 0
    after chatting with Brian this afternoon about an intimate session i had with my wife, he suggested i post it in this area, even though it did not entail the use of an aneros....as i had told Brian during this chat, i now have most of my sessions going the aneros 'less' route....one of my recent sessions also included my wife, in which i was laying by her side, just touching her....there was no actual intercourse during this, but only an exchange of energy in which i had placed the index finger of my right hand onto her clitoris...i did not move this finger, but only held it in place...during this time, i began to have the very familiar pulsing/involuntary/orgasmic feelings that many of us know .....during this period of time, i guess these energies also must have transferred through my finger to my wife, as her orgasm also built, again with no stimulation from my finger....we both found this very satisfying and enjoyable..... chuck
  • artformartform
    Posts: 1,481
    HI chuckjo2000!! :D :D

    Thanks for your example of pure energies with your wife! Mrs. a and I love that whole field and its effects very much too. Butt, I have to say the physical can be quite the shared prostate massage thrills on this journey as well, in this case her discovering mine. :D :D She was amazed at how complex all the muscle contractions, energies, pulsating, and other tingling activities there are inside a male rectum during sex!!

    These entries from another recent thread seem an appropriate complementary perspective here:

    Although, I have to say that I was as surprised as my wife when she lit me up to the full-body, arms and legs flailing, laughing and crying Super-O right out of the blue, after just sliding her finger in me while riding me cowgirl facing me. I exploded!! and she soon dismounted agilely keeping her finger in doing that magic. I do confess my anus was open enough that she could easily go in, as I was hoping she might and I won't deny that I was all tuned to whatever might subtly coalesce and ignite. Yahoo!!! Just the memories can relive it physically...

    artform



    Artform you are so blessed!

    You're living the life....living the life!


    BF Mayfield



    That was mrs. a giving me my first Active Body Super-O in 2007, early in our journey together. It was one of the many great joys of starting one's Aneros journey with one's partner, that we have experienced together.

    all the very best of partnered pathways on this great journey all

    artform
  • ten_s_nutten_s_nut
    Posts: 817
    Hello, all.

    Second session with the Vice was last night. For those of you who have been following my reports, you might recall that the night before was a solo marathon with little rest. I started by showing the new toy to my wife and expressing interest in becoming a human vibrating dildo. She was amused by the concept. We got into it immediately. I have only three words to describe intercourse with the Vice:

    Oh. My. God.

    I have no idea how many dry-Os I had or how long we did it until I had what I thought was a massive ejaculation. My wife said the sensation of me vibrating inside her was incredible, though not as strong as her Wild G-Spot rabbit-type vibrator. Even though the Vice was comfortable and I felt like falling asleep, I knew from experience that wouldn’t be restful, so I swapped in the Eupho, which is what I typically sleep with.

    Fast forward to about 5 AM. My wife stroked me awake for Round Two. Not wanting to interrupt matters by reloading with the Vice, I went ahead with the Eupho. More dry-Os and then the most fiery, prostate-centered orgasm I’ve ever had. I went limp. Next, a very unusual thing happened. While we were cuddling in afterglow, the Eupho started gently thrusting and my prostate felt like it was being pumped up with hot air. Thrust, pump, thrust, pump… I thought I was going to explode. Instead, I spiraled up into a super-O. After about 5 minutes, I couldn’t handle it anymore and removed the Eupho.

    That episode contradicts the conventional wisdom around here, which is, super-Os are best achieved by not having sex or ejaculating for a few days. It will be interesting to see if this happens again.

    Cheers,

    Dave
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    [QUOTE=ten_s_nut;96028]Hello, all.

    Second session with the Vice was last night. For those of you who have been following my reports, you might recall that the night before was a solo marathon with little rest. I started by showing the new toy to my wife and expressing interest in becoming a human vibrating dildo. She was amused by the concept. We got into it immediately. I have only three words to describe intercourse with the Vice:

    Oh. My. God.

    I have no idea how many dry-Os I had or how long we did it until I had what I thought was a massive ejaculation. My wife said the sensation of me vibrating inside her was incredible, though not as strong as her Wild G-Spot rabbit-type vibrator. Even though the Vice was comfortable and I felt like falling asleep, I knew from experience that wouldn’t be restful, so I swapped in the Eupho, which is what I typically sleep with.

    Fast forward to about 5 AM. My wife stroked me awake for Round Two. Not wanting to interrupt matters by reloading with the Vice, I went ahead with the Eupho. More dry-Os and then the most fiery, prostate-centered orgasm I’ve ever had. I went limp. Next, a very unusual thing happened. While we were cuddling in afterglow, the Eupho started gently thrusting and my prostate felt like it was being pumped up with hot air. Thrust, pump, thrust, pump… I thought I was going to explode. Instead, I spiraled up into a super-O. After about 5 minutes, I couldn’t handle it anymore and removed the Eupho.

    That episode contradicts the conventional wisdom around here, which is, super-Os are best achieved by not having sex or ejaculating for a few days. It will be interesting to see if this happens again.

    Cheers,

    Dave


    Dave,

    I'm delighted to hear that the VICE worked out so well for you two! A human vibrating dildo....that's a riot! The VICE is a terrific grinder when used with the vibrator off as well. With respect to what happened hours later, I would contend that it's not against conventional wisdom at all. Given what you've described there was some continuity throughout the night as you had the Eupho in place while you were sleeping. It is quite common to have residual P-waves for hours after a powerful session. These waves are almost like echoes in the air or ripples on a lake.... resonant memories of the larger event that spawned them. In such cases it possible to reconstitute another Super-O from these waves with very subtle stimulation. With respect to what occurred in the evening and the next morning, I would tend regard this as a larger more protracted experience with an ebb and flow vs. a series of discrete sessions.


    Great stuff!


    BF Mayfield
  • ten_s_nutten_s_nut
    Posts: 817
    Brian,

    Last night, my wife and I went for an encore of the previous night's success. We enjoyed ourselves even more, if that's possible.

    Haven't tried intercourse without the vibe turned on since she loves the buzzing so much. If the vibe had a higher setting I'd use it. Interestingly, the super-O happened after coital climax, with a flacid penis, and the vibe turned off. I accidentally fell asleep with the Vice in, vibrator removed. At 5 AM, I woke up with an erection, put the vibe back in and woke my wife up for more fun (and another super-O after intercourse).

    If the Vice isn't the best thing since sliced bread, I don't know what is. ;)

    Cheers,

    Dave

    PS.

    I've read about "chairgasms" on this site and didn't give them much thought. After all, I've had plenty of after-effect P-waves from the Eupho and Helix. Now, after using the Vice for 3 nights I know exactly what chairgasms are. Wow!

    D.
  • ten_s_nutten_s_nut
    Posts: 817
    Hello, all.

    Those of you who've followed my various posts know that I've become accustomed to sleeping with my Aneros; first the Eupho, now Vice. (Believe me, I understand the health risks and take precautions.) Generally, Aneros use has been consistent. When I get into bed and my wife is already there, we get into sex right away. If I go to bed before she does, the Vice gets me going and I'm ready for when she joins me. Occasionally, my wife doesn't feel like it. That's OK because I let the Vice take over. Solo is great, too.

    Last Saturday night, things played out a little differently. We were out of town, staying with friends for the weekend. The travel and social events wore my wife out and she made it clear sex was not happening for her. So, when we went to bed I had a really good Vice session; about 45 minutes no-vibe and 45 minutes with the vibe. When I was near the end, writhing in a super-O climax, my wife woke up and so did her libido. Problem was, at that point I felt "done" and limp. She coaxed me back to life and I enjoyed being the human vibrating dildo for about 15 minutes, but couldn't ejac. That was all I could handle. I rolled off. My wife had to use her mini-vibe to finish herself. I fell asleep.

    At 6 AM we woke up and had "normal" Vice-enhanced sex without the vibe and I got the typical wet-O reward. Whew! What was a relief. For a minute there I thought I'd lost the ability to climax with Vice, which is what happened with the Helix during intercourse. Now I'm thinking maybe I should try the Helix again and see if it was a transient problem.

    Cheers,

    Dave
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    Dave,

    This sounds like it's a nice problem to have....having so many orgasms in a night that you can't come anymore, lol ! I doubt that this is anything to be concerned about. Even with where your at now in having crossed over, remember not to let expectation rule your thinking. If every session was of the same intensity and the same duration, things would get boring pretty quickly. Better to let things evolve naturally and accept everything that comes your way.

    Cheers,


    Brian
  • ten_s_nutten_s_nut
    Posts: 817
    Brian;

    Yes, I am enjoying all the new experiences. Aneros is the best thing to happen for my sex life since Tantric Yoga.

    One thing I haven't commented on that came up in a chat session is, super-O during intercourse. My wife and I have sex almost every night. That involves the Aneros since I "wear" it all night. Most nights, I have a bunch of dry-Os and end with a wet one. About once a week, for reasons I don't understand the dry-Os lead into a super-O that goes on for 5 minutes or so and always ends with a dry-O, no ejac. Really amazing.

    It would be nice if some of the other partnered guys on this site posted in this thread, too.

    Best Regards,

    Dave
  • ten_s_nutten_s_nut
    Posts: 817
    B. Mayfield requested that I re-post this here. Originally posted on 18 June 2011.


    Hello, all.

    Last night my wife said something that surprised me. And let me assure you, surprises are rare in our 23 year-old relationship.

    She said, "I want to fuck your brains out."

    Bear in mind that I've never, ever said that to her or any of my previous wives and lovers. I don't talk dirty; not my thing. In the past when I've been asked to, it's been awkward. My wife was so uptight about sex for the first 10 years of marriage that she wouldn't talk about it, period. (She's the result of a Catholic upbringing and schools.)

    So, I said, "Sweetie, you can fuck my brains out anytime." We proceeded to take each others clothes off and had some fun.

    I'm bringing this up because I've heard from a lot of long-time married guys here that their wives have little to no interest in sex and especially not Aneros or anything anal.

    My marriage was pretty stale in the sex department until recently. We would have sex once or twice a week, mainly because my wife felt it was her duty. Then, I got into Aneros and she saw how much I enjoyed it. That caused her to get her own sex toys, which really opened her mind. For the first time, we started talking specifically about what we were feeling sexually.

    About a month ago we started pegging. That seems to have caused her to become more assertive about sex. At least I can't think of any other reason she would suddenly start taking the initiative and talking dirty. Needless to say, I'm delighted by this turn of events.

    The moral to this story is, don't write off your marriage as hopelessly stale. Sometimes, things change.

    Best Regards,

    Dave
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    [QUOTE=ten_s_nut;99093]B. Mayfield requested that I re-post this here. Originally posted on 18 June 2011.


    Hello, all.

    Last night my wife said something that surprised me. And let me assure you, surprises are rare in our 23 year-old relationship.

    She said, "I want to fuck your brains out."

    Bear in mind that I've never, ever said that to her or any of my previous wives and lovers. I don't talk dirty; not my thing. In the past when I've been asked to, it's been awkward. My wife was so uptight about sex for the first 10 years of marriage that she wouldn't talk about it, period. (She's the result of a Catholic upbringing and schools.)

    So, I said, "Sweetie, you can fuck my brains out anytime." We proceeded to take each others clothes off and had some fun.

    I'm bringing this up because I've heard from a lot of long-time married guys here that their wives have little to no interest in sex and especially not Aneros or anything anal.

    My marriage was pretty stale in the sex department until recently. We would have sex once or twice a week, mainly because my wife felt it was her duty. Then, I got into Aneros and she saw how much I enjoyed it. That caused her to get her own sex toys, which really opened her mind. For the first time, we started talking specifically about what we were feeling sexually.

    About a month ago we started pegging. That seems to have caused her to become more assertive about sex. At least I can't think of any other reason she would suddenly start taking the initiative and talking dirty. Needless to say, I'm delighted by this turn of events.

    The moral to this story is, don't write off your marriage as hopelessly stale. Sometimes, things change.

    Best Regards,

    Dave


    Love it, truly inspirational!


    BF Mayfield
  • makelimakeli
    Posts: 14
    [QUOTE=B Mayfield;99111]Love it, truly inspirational!


    BF Mayfield
    so, so it is saidimage
  • thhn
    Posts: 425
    It's amazing what the aneros can do during lovemaking... The actual intercourse is my least favorite part anymore. I have more, and more intense orgasms just from body contact or stroking, such as nipple stimulation. During sex the other night, after I had enjoyed a couple of orgasms, I decided to give her oral sex. I had my face just an inch or so from her pussy, just taking in the aroma, and the second I touched my tounge to her pussy, I was hit with a powerful orgasm that came out of nowhere.
    Our sex life is so much more rewarding now that it was when we were younger, and I attribute it to the aneros and what the aneros has taught me
  • Just wanted to say a HUGE thx for this thread! :-D

    I was worried about getting an aneros even though it was my girl that really wanted me to get it and then worried about using it for quite a while. This is because I felt it would remove me even more from sex with my girl than I allready am with my crappy ejac orgasm(and all the work vs her just having pleasure) but reading this has really opend my eyes to some amazing new posibilitys that the future may hold for us! :-D

    Thx alot! :-D