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Think I'm doing something wrong
  • Hi,

    My Aneros Helix arrived today, and I couldn't wait to try it.

    Now, maybe I was just in too much of a hurry, but I'm not feeling anything more than the sensation of something in my anus.

    I warmed it up, lubed it and my rectum as best I could and, laying on my side, eased it in. After an couple of inches my anus pulled it in. So far so good I thought.

    I moved the tab about a little bit to make it put pressure on my perineum and started to tense my PC and anal muscles. I got a full feeling, but nothing I would describe as pleasurable - just the feeling of something in my butt. I rolled on to my back and started to try to use it.

    So I relaxed for a few minutes (do you really have to do all this relaxing and breathing stuff? Sounds a little bit new age and hippie to my mind) anyway, I found that made no difference so I pushed down against the bed. Very slight pleasurable feeling though that was most likely from tensing my anal muscles.

    I then sat up and tried to rock back and forth .... still nothing, except the feeling of something stuck in my ass.

    I stood up and gyrated and pelvic thrusted back and forth - still nothing.

    I felt a subtle but sharp sensation - I guess a bit like if you touch your glans after ejaculation - an "ouch! too sensitive!" feeling rather than pleasure - in my ass a few times. Not painful, but not pleasurable either, not even uncomfortable, just irritating.

    I lay on my back again and pushed back and forth, but nothing. So I finished myself off by hand feeling really disappointed but looking forward to another go. Since removing it, I still feel a very very slight sharp sensation inside my anus, at the front and only in one place, like touching sore or sensitive skin - not painful but nothing I would call pleasure.

    From insertion to removal was maybe 8 - 10 minutes.

    Now I know I am capable, as a couple of years ago I used a traditional butt plug with built in vibrator. My wife played with my cock while I turned up the vibes. After a few moments I nearly blacked out and come like a train, producing a good tablespoonful of semen. However, I couldn't sleep for hours afterward due to the plug over stretching me, so I never did that again.

    I was so looking forward to using my Helix, my wife gets mind blowing full body orgasms when we have serious love making sessions, so I want them too. On my own at first while I get used to it and then as a couple, but all my helix did was irritate me. No pain, just a sharp maybe tickly or prickly sensation, as if it was brushing something but more likely to piss me off than make me hit the ceiling.

    I accept it will take time and practice, and maybe I was just too keen to shove it up my ass and hope for my wife to have to scrape me off the ceiling, but I expected at least something on my first try.

    I have no qualms about using the aneros, playing with my own anus or anything like that, so I know that any discomfort (maybe that word is a bit too much) is physical not psychological.

    Anyone help me? I'm desparate to experience even something.

    I've trawled the instructions and the site pages but nothing that can really help.
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,254
    needthebigo,

    Welcome to the Aneros Forums, your best source of information for learning about the multiple benefits and joys of using the Aneros prostate massagers. Your comments and initial experience are quite common for first time users, I don't know how many times we've seen similar comments over the years but it is in the hundreds and I'm sure it will continue in the future. Your comments illustrated a number of obstacles to achieving success.
    [QUOTE=needthebigo;95391]My Aneros Helix arrived today, and I couldn't wait to try it. Now, maybe I was just in too much of a hurry, but I'm not feeling anything more than the sensation of something in my anus. Yes, being in a hurry, trying to rush the process, anxiousness/anxiety will all impede you.[QUOTE=needthebigo;95391]So I relaxed for a few minutes (do you really have to do all this relaxing and breathing stuff? Sounds a little bit new age and hippie to my mind) anyway, I found that made no difference so I pushed down against the bed. Very slight pleasurable feeling though that was most likely from tensing my anal muscles. Yes, you do need to do the "...relaxing and breathing stuff", you should also make note of the "Very slight pleasurable feeling...", initial sensations are often quite subtle and easily dismissed as insignificant but they are in fact significant. [QUOTE=needthebigo;95391]
    I then sat up and tried to rock back and forth .... still nothing, except the feeling of something stuck in my ass. I stood up and gyrated and pelvic thrusted back and forth - still nothing.
    I felt a subtle but sharp sensation - I guess a bit like if you touch your glans after ejaculation - an "ouch! too sensitive!" feeling rather than pleasure - in my ass a few times. Not painful, but not pleasurable either, not even uncomfortable, just irritating. This is a common experience for newbies, initial sensations, because they are new and strange, are interpreted ambiguously until you start to assign pain/pleasure values to them. You were in fact feeling something more than"...still nothing".[QUOTE=needthebigo;95391]So I finished myself off by hand feeling really disappointed but looking forward to another go. Since removing it, I still feel a very very slight sharp sensation inside my anus, at the front and only in one place, like touching sore or sensitive skin - not painful but nothing I would call pleasure.After one session it is unlikely you will have made many new rewiring connections in your body, but you did experience more than "...nothing", please do not discount these sensations however minor they may now seem, as those are the building blocks for expanded feelings/sensations in the future. Please read the Penis, NOT! thread by 'Cockadoodle' and 'rook's thread Whole Body/Whole Mind - the mental side for a little insight into the limited role penile stimulation need play in the path to a Super-O.
    [QUOTE=needthebigo;95391]From insertion to removal was maybe 8 - 10 minutes.Whoa, this isn't nearly long enough to even get started. From the Aneros instructions - "When the Aneros Massager is fully drawn into the anus, you will initially feel the pressure of the foreign object. For best results, allow 10 to 20 minutes for relaxation. During this time, we recommend meditative breathing exercises." While these are suggestions for practice and you are free to do as you like, these suggestions have been refined from years of successful practice by others, you might find their advice helpful.[QUOTE=needthebigo;95391]I was so looking forward to using my Helix, ... but all my helix did was irritate me. No pain, just a sharp maybe tickly or prickly sensation, as if it was brushing something but more likely to piss me off than make me hit the ceiling. ...but I expected at least something on my first try. You did get "something" on your first try, "...the sensation of something in my anus.", "...the feeling of something in my butt.", "...the feeling of something stuck in my ass.", "I felt a subtle but sharp sensation...", "I still feel a very very slight sharp sensation inside my anus...", "...a sharp maybe tickly or prickly sensation...". The fact is you "...expected..." something else and were disappointed when what you expected did not occur. This is a very common newbie obstacle. [QUOTE=needthebigo;95391]I'm desparate to experience even something.Desperation is likely to stymie any progress, a change in attitude to accept what your body is willing and able to give you is much more likely to lead to progress.[QUOTE=needthebigo;95391]I've trawled the instructions and the site pages but nothing that can really help.If all you were doing was trawling, then it is quite likely you are unawares of the helpful lode of information contained within the Aneros WIKI, perhaps it is time to quit fishing and start mining the mother lode. When you begin a journey toward a mysterious destination, any particular step is neither right nor wrong, it merely takes you closer or further away. We here on the Forum are happy to offer our help in guiding you along your unique path toward your goal.

    P.S. I sent you an introductory PM with some additional hints and tips to get you started.
  • Hello, needthebigo.

    What they said, above.

    It took me 2 weeks to get from zero to Big O. The initial 3 days, an hour each day seemed a total waste. From there out it got better, faster. It's kind of amazing the company has managed to sell so many of these things given how dismal the first impression tends to be.

    Cheers,

    Dave
  • Thanks for the detailed reply rumel!

    I guess I probably wasn't in the right frame of mind last night. I wasn't really turned on when I started (well, I'm pretty much always horny, if I see so much as an inch of shapely female I'm in the mood - but not really ready to perform any kind of sexual act); plus I wasn't relaxed.

    I think (and correct me if I'm wrong) but I'm thinking too much of prostate stimulation as a form of masturbation, rather than a (solo sometimes) sex act itself. Sex you take your time with, but "a quick wank" is a ten minute job. I guess the other thing is that, although I'm basically incapable of any normal inhibition, I'm pre-programmed to think of pleasuring a woman as being something you would take slowly, and calmly and somewhat delicately (unless she wants otherwise!) rather than nipping into the toilet on your own when the wife has a headache! I guess I'm hardwired to think of it as a "duty" to make love to my wife and usually expect her to orgasm several times but I guess western society thinks that one orgasm at the end is quite enough for a man, so we end up being martys and not just allowing ourselves to let go like our female partners do when they have orgasms.

    I can agree that I was in too much of a hurry and if I adjust my mindset to think of it as a slow sexual act rather than the ubiquitous ten minute handjob then I'll be okay. I also think that I pushed it in to far, thinking of it as the same as a dildo or butt plug. I see from your information that pushing it right in to the T bar is a mistake with the Helix. Mine was right in and I thought "it's not working, maybe I should force it up further" rather than letting my body decide the best position.

    I'll give the suggestions a try and take my time - disassociating prostate massage from masturbation - and see what happens. Is this fabled "big-O" similar in feeling to the euphoric state of a good penile orgasm, just much more intense and potentially full bodied; or is it something completely different like the feeling of being drunk or high?

    It's good that grown men can talk sensibly without the schoolyard giggling and stupidity, like I said I think I have that martyr concept that I would go down on my wife for 45 minutes or so, getting jaw ache is the process but when it comes to my own pleasure I might suffer the hang up that once she's all orgasmed out I give it a ten minute tug and think myself lucky that I've even allowed myself this much!
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,254
    needthebigo,

    I am glad to hear you are willing to slow down and take YOUR time with this process. I recommend you initially do your Anerosessions as a solo endeavor to learn without the distractions a wife or other partner may interject. The journey toward the Super-O is not the pursuit of an enhanced ejaculatory orgasm (Super-T), though that is certainly possible. Nor is this a journey employing traditional masturbation techniques. I like to use the analogy that you are learning to seduce your prostate into orgasm just as you would learn to seduce a sex partner into bed. In this case you are learning all the subtle cues/signs/tells your body gives you in the process to accomplish this seduction. One of the essential first steps you will need to experience is a Prostate Awakening.
    Just as you put time and emotional energy into making love to your wife, you deserve to gift the same amount of love to yourself, this is not about martyrdom, but about you embracing your yin energies.[QUOTE=needthebigo;95435]I guess I probably wasn't in the right frame of mind last night. I wasn't really turned on when I started ...not really ready to perform any kind of sexual act); plus I wasn't relaxed.Arousal is a key component to the process, we're not talking about erectile state here but about your whole mind/body state.[QUOTE=needthebigo;95435]I think (and correct me if I'm wrong) but I'm thinking too much of prostate stimulation as a form of masturbation, rather than a (solo sometimes) sex act itself.This is a common situation for newbies as most of us only knew or thought of orgasms resulting from our ejaculatory masturbation practices. I think there could be a discussion about whether or not Aneros use even constitutes masturbation or a sex act. After all, this patented device was originally and is currently offered for sale as the Pro-State line of massagers on the High Island Health website. That website is primarily oriented toward the health aspects and benefits of prostate massage in accord with Oriental medicine for prostate related issues. It seems to me, Aneros use is more an erotically charged, self induced, sensual experience than a sex act or masturbation in the traditional sense.
    [QUOTE=needthebigo;95435]Is this fabled "big-O" similar in feeling to the euphoric state of a good penile orgasm, just much more intense and potentially full bodied; or is it something completely different like the feeling of being drunk or high?It is a unique experience for each man. You can read other mens accounts of their experiences with Super-O's in the thread My First Super Orgasm... and in the Testimonials Forum. I reluctantly recommend reading these because, IMHO, they tend to plant expectations for sensations and physical responses which may be unique for only that individual. Your journey will be unique for you, allow yourself the opportunity to discover your own special response without carrying notions of other men's experiences.
  • Uh, no. It takes time.

    Probably nobody showed you how to whack off when you started as a teen and it frankly didn't take much instruction to know that rubbing that boner felt really good and as you kept it up and got the surprise of your life, it was all was a fairly simple process: Get hard, stroke, blow. Ahhhh!

    Unfortunately, after you blow, it's all over...if you're a teen, maybe it's only 10 minutes...an hour or two in your 20's, longer the older you get. Nevertheless, the fun ends for a while. Not with the Aneros.

    Prostate and anal orgasms are not as intuitive as an old fashioned monkey choke but still very worth the journey, especially since you can come over and over and over again. And, fortunately, there's a whole group of experienced guys here willing to coach you on the journey...unlike the solo spanking days.

    Here's some suggestions from an experienced user:

    • Abstain...from ejaculating for a couple days. Men are on a 72-hour seamen/testosterone build up cycle. Once you ejaculate, it takes 72-hours, on average, to build up a seamen load and testosterone max, meaning after three days of abstention, most of us get very horny, our dicks feel heavy and twitchy and trigger sensitive. So, hold off blowing your load for three days then give it a go. A full prostate is a sensitive prostate. By the way, in Timothy Ferriss' new book, "The Four Hour Body" he gives a recipe that will produce wild monkey sex libido. It involves consuming amble amounts of cholesterol-containing foods (like four eggs) 24-hours before you want to have monster sex and then another regimen of items to consume (Brazil nuts,almonds, a couple other things) four-hours before sex. Seems to work well.
    • Drink...plenty of water to keep hydratedduring this time as it will help to make sure your seamen load is at it's max. I repeat: A full prostate is a sensitive prostate.
    • Clean out. Matter up there makes it a hard row to hoe, as they say in the U.S. Use a warm water enema to flush out the pipes prior to a session.
    • Warm-up...the Aneros and the lube in a sink of hot water for a couple minutes before insertion. Body temp Aneros and lube tend to reinforce the relaxation and cold causes things to clamp down. If you want to be more relaxed, take a hot bath as the warm water will relax your body and also cause your prostate to swell a bit.
    • Lube-up...use plenty of lube and make sure the lube is compatible with your body. Glycerin lubes give a lot of people the urge to purge. Avoid them. Not sure what's available in the UK that fills the bill but after a lot of experimenting I've settled on inserting a medicine syringe full of Probe Tick and Rich into my rectum and a coating of Vaseline around the unit and my anal sphincter and then using a little bit of Aboline on the Aneros and my nipples
    • Nip Up...ino ther words, use your nipples. There is a direct connection between the nerves located in the nipples and the nerves in the anus and the prostate. As you gently stroke your nipples,, (I use a think coating of Aboline on mine to make my fingers glide) you'll feel a tickling sensation start in your prostate. After a few minutes of this, the Aneros will be sucked in all the way and you'll start to feel your anus throb and quiver and pulse with increasing intensity and pleasure.
    • Train...as in, practice regularly. View this as a meditative experiment and exploration of your body. Don't be goal oriented, as in "I have to orgasm". Rather, let your goal be: "I'm going to see what my body is capable of". You seem to have a genuine desire to please your mate. That's wonderful and generous and right. You're probably a great lover. But, your practice here can help you learn what works for you and can help guide your mate in pleasuring you, which I'm sure she desires to do. So, learn what turns you on then share it with her. You don't have to ejaculate during a session. In fact, if you don't, it will ramp of your lovemaking even more. But...
    • Don't over train...it helps to put a day or two between sessions. And, it helps to have an hour session, take a break for an hour or two and come back for another session. Often, session two will be over the top. For me, after the first session, it will be good but my balls will ache a bit and I'll have this pulsing feeling inside just begging for relief. I've come to really enjoy this and then going into the second session there is such an incredible relief and feeling of "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh..."

    Anyway, you're on a journey and you need to relax and enjoy it and not be racing for a finish line. This is more about being observant of the scenery along the way.

    Hope this helps.
  • I just posted this on another post. I thought I would add my two cents. I may not be on point with the majority of the Aneros population, because I am always going at it from a technique point of view. but maybe it won't hurt to look at this information. it may help you.

    Try this: with each contraction (make them medium to fast or slow...) make yourself feel "sexy". By this I mean each contraction should make you feel more and more aroused and orgasmic. Even if you don't feel that way pretend that you do. You may me surprised at the results after about a minute or so.

    As Always what works for me may not work for others, but it is work a shot.

    Oh yeah ...A good technique to use is to "mentally" tell yourself that you are becoming more aroused...let yourself loose control and it should become real.
  • Can I just get some feedback?

    I've used my aneros helix three times now. The second time I really relaxed and took my time. I didn't get an orgasm from it, so I ended up using my hand in the end, but the results were still very good.

    I got that feeling (although it never fulfilled) that you get when you know you are on the brink of an amazing orgasm, but instead of just my cock the sensation seemed to "float" around my whole groin - the tops of my legs, my balls, my pelvis - is that about right.

    I did find that on several occassions I got some incredibly intense sensations in my cock which didn't feel as though they were orginating from there. Does that sound right? I know they weren't from my cock as I wasn't touching it at the time and I was oozing pre-ejaculate. (Sorry for the graphic description, but we're all mature sensible adults in here I hope!)

    I squatted for a while and gyrated and got some amazing feelings. After doing this for about twenty minutes I know I was close to a powerful orgasm (though it did feel like the beginning of a penile orgasm - is that normal?) but I just couldn't quite summon it, so I used one hand on my cock and the other to gently wiggle my aneros. The orgasm was very intense. Not paralysing but like an orgasm after a long love making session where you've been holding off for hours and then she finally finishes you off. That kind of intense. Again, does that sound about right?

    One question though, looking at the anatomy I am concerned if maybe the aneros is up to far. If I remove it slightly then all I can feel against the head is the inner sphincter (again sorry for the graphic clinical term) and nothing sexual at all, but too far and I feel nicely full. When I think I have it just right, I have to lever the aneros back to push the head forward. Could it be that my prostate is sited slightly higher or further forward? Could I be massaging the seminal vesicle by accident? Is that even possible? What does that do?

    The sensation I get (which is very pleasant but unusual) when I think I've found the right place is mostly felt in the tip of my penis. Without any touching of it. Each time I touch whatever I'm touching inside, I get a sharp but very nice sensation a bit like tickling the sensitive underside of your glans, but much more instense, more internal and unfortunately more briefly. The only way I can described it is like when you touch a part of your leg and feel a "prick" or "poke" in your back, or when you touch your back and feel it in your neck.

    Almost like the sensation has been transferred. It's a lovely sensation, maybe every so slightly a bladder like feeling but over too quickly to analyse it.

    So, getting there. Some intense sensations, very pleasant and I can tell that something very good is going to happen sooner or later, but no "big O" yet. Trust me, I'll persevere. I'm trying to leave 2 - 3 days between ejaculation so as to sensitise my prostate - is that correct?

    I'm getting in the shower now and the wife says she'll help later. Must resist the temptation to get her to touch my cock, but having her there doing something sexy should turn up the arousal even more.

    On a different note, I'd just like to say again, that it's great being able to talk to other men about these things. Women has done so with each other for years but men have always felt odd about this. It's not like I'm going to compliment your figure or hair (like women do) so talking about these things and helping each other out is an amazingly refreshing and liberating feeling. Must be what feminist solidarity feels like.

    Anyhoo, I digress. Some feedback would be VERY appreciated.
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,254
    needthebigo,

    [QUOTE=needthebigo;95761]I posted this on my original thread, but I think I'm supposed to put a new thread up really, so here it is again.
    Can I just get some feedback?First, there is no need to do a double post (new thread) adding to your original thread is the normal way of posting here, you can delete the second thread.

    Second, from your description of feelings/sensations, I would say you are doing great. You do need to realize prostate based orgasms are inherently different from penile induced orgasms, so if you are expecting the same feelings you will forever be searching and be frustrated. Just "Let Go" of those EXPECTATIONS, immerse yourself in the feelings you ARE getting and let them lead you further into pleasure.

    Thirdly, you may be falling into the trap of over analyzing your experiences. Sure there may be slight anatomical variations between men but from what you have described you are making good prostate contact now, you just need to stop the manual manipulation of your Aneros and hold off touching your penis. As you tune into your body and focus on the sensations, using just your internal muscles to move the Aneros is all you will need. The sensations will intensify as you focus on them but don't try to consciously amplify them, be patient and just observe/experience what your body offers to you. Each Anerosession offers an opportunity to experience new sensations, perhaps entirely different from any you have experienced before, allow yourself to fully enjoy and explore these sensations without analyzing them in session. You will have plenty of time after a session to reflect on what has transpired.
  • needthebigo;

    Your recent descriptions all sound similar to what I experienced during my first week with a Helix The advice above this post in the thread is all good. Just stay with it and you'll get there sooner than you think. Having my wife alongside helped me and it will probably help you. Remember, there's no wrong way, only different paths.

    Cheers,

    Dave