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OT: Foreplay
  • Should a man and woman give each other an equal amount of foreplay or should it be more for the woman?
    Usually the woman gets more time spend on their body.

    Is it this attitude why toys like the Aneros are not used by more men?
  • HelixerHelixer
    Posts: 566
    pre-Aneros: yes, a woman deserves more foreplay since it takes much longer for a women to come.

    post-Aneros: Who needs women? ;)
  • [QUOTE=Helixer;95279]pre-Aneros: yes, a woman deserves more foreplay since it takes much longer for a women to come.

    post-Aneros: Who needs women? ;)

    I just don't think it is ever equal. Check this thread on another forum out.

    LoveShack.org Community Forums
  • brine
    Posts: 220
    I agree newtoforum.

    My wife and I often "give" more to the other than the other "receives."
    And, giving often brings the giver as much pleasure as the receiver.

    Brian
  • cyrezcyrez
    Posts: 109
    thankyou for putting 'out of topic' (OT) in front of the thread description =)
  • [QUOTE=brine;95354]I agree newtoforum.

    My wife and I often "give" more to the other than the other "receives."
    And, giving often brings the giver as much pleasure as the receiver.

    Brian

    So you two spend an equal amount of time on each other's bodies? Foreplay is equal?

    Men just give more in every way.

    Men initiate more than 50% of the time, give more foreplay than they get, give more oral sex and for longer periods of time than they get, do more than 50% of the work and try to find her g spot while she doesn't care about his. This is why the aneros is such a good concept. Who else will stimulate the male g spot? A woman. I doubt it.

    There is no relationship where it is equal or the woman gives more. Can't even imagine there is one woman who is on top 50%+ of the time.
  • It just isn't fair.
  • impimp
    Posts: 72
    [QUOTE=newtoforum;95363]It just isn't fair.LIFE AIN'T FAIR! Get over it! Get yourself an Aneros and start having the time of your life!
  • [QUOTE=imp;95365]LIFE AIN'T FAIR! Get over it! Get yourself an Aneros and start having the time of your life!

    It is fair for women. They get more than they give.,
  • HelixerHelixer
    Posts: 566


    I just don't think it is ever equal



    As I stated, men and women are biologically different, so how can we be equal or have equal needs?

    Pre-Aneros: in the traditional man-woman relationship men are active, women are passive. A man gives a woman receives. It's just biology

    Post-Aneros: the man takes on the receptive female role. Now if there's a relationship it's almost like a girl on girl scene as some couples have already pointed out. Now the woman only accommodates the man by stroking, and touching, what does a woman receive in this situation?

    Still I agree with you that most woman or men aren't wired for this unnatural situation. This is why I recommend Aneros solo practice coz it's imperative that men take on the receptive female role with the Aneros for the Super O. I think this would be hard in a relationship and men would automatically revert back into the active 'giver' role and women into the receptive 'receiving' role
  • ScottD
    Posts: 25
    newtoforum,

    I'm imagining a scene in my head:

    Woman: Mmm, that's so good. Wait..what? Why did you stop?
    Man: Oh, sorry. Your five minutes are up. Now you have to do me. The timer is running...now.

    I'm just going to come right out and say it. I've read a few of your posts up until now and you are totally off in your perspective and mindset. If you are in a loving relationship, sex is enjoyable for both parties, no matter who is getting touched by what. I would much rather spend an hour of actively pleasuring my wife, to hear and feel her reach a writhing, moaning climax--from which she is unable to speak for several minutes--and then fall asleep cuddled against her than to get myself off in the seven minutes that the "average" intercourse lasts (which I regard as pathetically short and easily extended with a bit of dedication and training). There is no giving and taking, only loving. My wife enjoys performing oral sex on me just as much (and sometimes I think she likes it more) as I enjoy it. It's not a chore that she does so that she can get the same in return.

    Forgive me if I am totally off base, but I think that you are way too focused on the purely physical part of the act and possibly do not have enough experience in a loving sexual relationship to understand that there is far more to it than a race to orgasm. I think you might understand if I put it this way: If a woman that I do not carely deeply about were to bring me to orgasm, I would probably be happy about it. But when my wife, who I care very much about, does this, I feel good for having it, but I feel even better because of how my feeling good makes her feel, and because of our trust, understanding and admiration for each other. That is the emotional component that you are completely missing in your comparisons. Nothing can replace this, and I would never trade that away for an assurance of equality of physical sensations that seems to dominate your thoughts on this.

    I do feel very fortunate for having found a woman whom I can love so deeply after more than ten years of marriage, but I also think that this kind of love actually isn't so difficult to obtain. You have to build it upon respect, communication, and trust. When you've been with someone that you think is the one for you, don't lie or hide things from her. Every chance you can, take a moment to reflect on what makes her so precious to you, then express those things to her. Learn to view her physical and emotional imperfections as simply part of her and therefore another aspect of her to be cherished. When she is upset or angry, learn to react with compassion and understanding. When she wants romance or intimacy, take time away from what you are doing to fill that need, even if you aren't (at first) in the mood. I find that I am always glad to have done so. If she loves you, she will, in turn, do all of these things for you, and more.

    That is the essence of what love in general, and sex, in particular, is about. If you aren't willing to give without the promise of getting something equivalent in return, then you will never understand the joy and fulfillment of being deeply in love.

    Edit: My wife and I passed 10 years several months ago, ten_s_nut. I wish I had realized some of the things back when we first got married that I know now.
  • ScottD;

    Amen, brother! I couldn't have said it any better.

    Dave

    PS. I've been married for 22 years.
  • What is so wrong with wanting just as much attention on my body as a woman gets on hers?
  • brine
    Posts: 220
    Agree 100%, ScottD.

    I sometimes feel guilty when all I want, is to give my wife pleasure with little concern for my own "physical" benefit. The satisfaction I gain is immeasurable. Many times, just this last week in fact, each one of us pleasured the other in separate sessions with no desire to seek self-gratification. After one of those times I emailed my wife later that day and thanked her for giving so much to me earlier. She emailed back, "I live to serve." While that was a humorous response, there is a lot of truth in it. In serving each other, we are each satisfied, knowing we have brought the other to a place of ecstasy. Of course, mutual satisfaction is stupendous, too.

    Brian
  • [QUOTE=brine;95398]Agree 100%, ScottD.

    I sometimes feel guilty when all I want, is to give my wife pleasure with little concern for my own "physical" benefit. The satisfaction I gain is immeasurable. Many times, just this last week in fact, each one of us pleasured the other in separate sessions with no desire to seek self-gratification. After one of those times I emailed my wife later that day and thanked her for giving so much to me earlier. She emailed back, "I live to serve." While that was a humorous response, there is a lot of truth in it. In serving each other, we are each satisfied, knowing we have brought the other to a place of ecstasy. Of course, mutual satisfaction is stupendous, too.

    Brian

    How many times did she do that for you vs how many times did you do that for her?
  • cyrezcyrez
    Posts: 109
    They just tried to convince you that they had the best time of their life, and you're always thinking of statistics? There is more to it than just numbers you know
  • ScottD
    Posts: 25
    I don't know what else to say to try to get through to you. Sex is not one person doing things to another. You seem to think that your own desires are going to be subsumed by whatever the woman wants, and if so, that is a sad, sad outlook to have. You really need to learn to love women, in general and for one specifically, if you want to have a happy and fulfilled sex life.
  • HelixerHelixer
    Posts: 566


    You really need to learn to love women, in general and for one specifically, if you want to have a happy and fulfilled sex life.



    Let's make that : "someone or something with a hole to ramrod into"
    For sex you obviously need a culprit, but this doesn't have to be a woman, it can be a child, an animal or even another man.
    But I wouldn't say you need to believe in love or in religion for that matter to enjoy consential (or otherwise) sex. Besides you could even love women and still not have a happy and fulfilled sex life.

    Anyway, it's all beside the point. I agree partly with n2f that it is unequal between men and women. Nature has made it unequal between men and women, but I'd say definitely in favor of men!
  • ScottD
    Posts: 25
    [QUOTE=Helixer;95417]Let's make that : "someone or something with a hole to ramrod into"

    I was speaking directly to newtoforum, who is asking a question specifically about heterosexual relationships. The question would not apply if it were otherwise.
  • HelixerHelixer
    Posts: 566
    In fact my main objection was about:

    You really need to learn to love women, in general and for one specifically, if you want to have a happy and fulfilled sex life


    I'd say sex and love are two distinct and seperate things. I'd even go as far as saying that mixing the two only adulterates the quality of both
  • brine
    Posts: 220
    newtoforum,

    I don't keep count. All I know is that we enjoy giving to each other. It's a reciprocal thing.

    Brian
  • HelixerHelixer
    Posts: 566
    Besides, women being generally more hygienic than men, should have more trouble pleasuring a male's g-spot.

    A woman's g-spot is located up her pinky, while a man's is up his stinky!

    Be truthful which would you prefer?
  • I just want it to be equal and in most traditional relationships it is not equal because the man desirs the woman's body more and a woman says she needs more time to get warmed up or she won't orgasm

    That is the norm. How does the aneros change that?\

    This question is not similar to MyTurn's because I am not asking if men's orgasms can be as strong as women's orgasms. I know they can and I am just talking about regular orgasms here not even going into the other possibilities. But I want to know if give and take can be equal and by that I mean equal not some give and take but mostly more about the woman

    If she gets 20 minutes of foreplay how many men can say they get the same in return?
  • HelixerHelixer
    Posts: 566


    If she gets 20 minutes of foreplay how many men can say they get the same in return?



    True, men should demand women spend the same amount of time to their stinky as men do to their pinky.
    Sounds to me like women got the sh*tty part of the deal
  • sometimes I could eat pussy for hours - i get hot hard and wet giving ...

    also find that kissing can be as erotically arousing for me as for her - the hotter you help your partner get the more likely she will be unable to keep her hands and mouth off of you

    i can wear my wife out a lot quicker than she can wear me out

    butt, as clean as i demand my ass be for ME to work on it - i would find it hard (pun intended) to accept a partner's working my anus and rectum beyond the superficial finger caress and sphincter stimulation she may give me during intercourse ...

    helix's point is well taken ...

    moreover conjugal sex is not the same as masturbation which of course can be mutual butt can also be a wonderful solo exploration

    ... same for the aneros

    - rip
  • [QUOTE=Helixer;95517]True, men should demand women spend the same amount of time to their stinky as men do to their pinky.
    Sounds to me like women got the sh*tty part of the deal

    So because nature put the male g-spot in a less desirable location men should get less pleasure from their partners?
  • [QUOTE=RipTheJacker;95525]sometimes I could eat pussy for hours - i get hot hard and wet giving ...

    also find that kissing can be as erotically arousing for me as for her - the hotter you help your partner get the more likely she will be unable to keep her hands and mouth off of you

    i can wear my wife out a lot quicker than she can wear me out

    butt, as clean as i demand my ass be for ME to work on it - i would find it hard (pun intended) to accept a partner's working my anus and rectum beyond the superficial finger caress and sphincter stimulation she may give me during intercourse ...

    helix's point is well taken ...

    moreover conjugal sex is not the same as masturbation which of course can be mutual butt can also be a wonderful solo exploration

    ... same for the aneros

    - rip

    How is that fair at all?

    Does she spend hours giving you blowjobs?

    A man should pleasure a woman's gspot but a woman should not have to pleasure a man's gspot?
  • cyrezcyrez
    Posts: 109
    newtoforum: You do know that this forum is about discussion about the aneros prostate massager right? All your postings seem to be of a different kind of nature, perhaps you should try and find another forum that is more suited to your needs?
  • impimp
    Posts: 72
    newtoforum - cyrez is right! Bitching about life's unfairness solves nothing and your posts ain't helping the cause of prostate play on this Forum.
  • HelixerHelixer
    Posts: 566
    [QUOTE=newtoforum;95586]So because nature put the male g-spot in a less desirable location men should get less pleasure from their partners?


    So how far does this search for equality go with you?

    How about men baring children?
    And surely it isn't fair only women have periods?

    Men and women are different, biologically, mentally, sexually etc.
    You're comparing apples with oranges and on this rare occasion I actually agree with imp. This site is for glorifying and reveling in the ecstatic pleasure nature has imbued males with. If you want to glorify female sexuality I think you might be on the wrong site
  • artformartform
    Posts: 1,473
    Welcome ScottD to your aneros journey and this generally hospitable and warm community!! :D :D

    [QUOTE=ScottD;95381]newtoforum,

    I'm imagining a scene in my head:

    Woman: Mmm, that's so good. Wait..what? Why did you stop?
    Man: Oh, sorry. Your five minutes are up. Now you have to do me. The timer is running...now.

    I'm just going to come right out and say it. I've read a few of your posts up until now and you are totally off in your perspective and mindset. If you are in a loving relationship, sex is enjoyable for both parties, no matter who is getting touched by what. I would much rather spend an hour of actively pleasuring my wife, to hear and feel her reach a writhing, moaning climax--from which she is unable to speak for several minutes--and then fall asleep cuddled against her than to get myself off in the seven minutes that the "average" intercourse lasts (which I regard as pathetically short and easily extended with a bit of dedication and training). There is no giving and taking, only loving. My wife enjoys performing oral sex on me just as much (and sometimes I think she likes it more) as I enjoy it. It's not a chore that she does so that she can get the same in return.

    Forgive me if I am totally off base, but I think that you are way too focused on the purely physical part of the act and possibly do not have enough experience in a loving sexual relationship to understand that there is far more to it than a race to orgasm. I think you might understand if I put it this way: If a woman that I do not carely deeply about were to bring me to orgasm, I would probably be happy about it. But when my wife, who I care very much about, does this, I feel good for having it, but I feel even better because of how my feeling good makes her feel, and because of our trust, understanding and admiration for each other. That is the emotional component that you are completely missing in your comparisons. Nothing can replace this, and I would never trade that away for an assurance of equality of physical sensations that seems to dominate your thoughts on this.

    I do feel very fortunate for having found a woman whom I can love so deeply after more than ten years of marriage, but I also think that this kind of love actually isn't so difficult to obtain. You have to build it upon respect, communication, and trust. When you've been with someone that you think is the one for you, don't lie or hide things from her. Every chance you can, take a moment to reflect on what makes her so precious to you, then express those things to her. Learn to view her physical and emotional imperfections as simply part of her and therefore another aspect of her to be cherished. When she is upset or angry, learn to react with compassion and understanding. When she wants romance or intimacy, take time away from what you are doing to fill that need, even if you aren't (at first) in the mood. I find that I am always glad to have done so. If she loves you, she will, in turn, do all of these things for you, and more.

    That is the essence of what love in general, and sex, in particular, is about. If you aren't willing to give without the promise of getting something equivalent in return, then you will never understand the joy and fulfillment of being deeply in love.

    Edit: My wife and I passed 10 years several months ago, ten_s_nut. I wish I had realized some of the things back when we first got married that I know now.

    Thank you so much for this marvellous insightful post! I'm with ten_s_nut and brine on this one!!! :D :D
    Scott D, I look forward to being able to chat with you live during upcoming weekend open chats here!

    I hope you ( and brine and more from ten_s_nut) and all males here in couple relationships will look into and add when you feel so moved to B Mayfield's great new thread: http://www.aneros.com/forum/f5/partnered-sex-aneros-15352/ , and vote and post in the Couples Polls through the links in my first post in Mayfield's thread.

    all the very best to all exploring aneros enhanced couples all

    artform