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Just wondering what is going wrong.
  • Tomasheen
    Posts: 181
    My sessions have been a bit of a let down lately. Great start but over too soon and unable to restart in same session. Easy insertion and little delay in getting under way with great sensations and a hard erection. Then it all seems to stop and the P.waves cease. I can lie there for ages, the erection goes down and nothing returns. A super big let-down. I have a routine of three to four short sessions each day. They are short..about 15 minutes..because that is when it seems to give up. I can begin an hour or two later and it goes well again for the limited time. Maybe I am too concerned about it. I love it and the aneros is never out of my mind. Sexual sensations have always been a irresistible urge with me and I could spend ages just indulging in focused masturbating and keeping it at the pre-ejaculation state. The aneros has brought me back to the memories of teenage joys and pleasures of discovery.
    Thus I may be putting too much urgency into getting the best out of it. I hear myself saying "This is just lovely now ...but it won't last." And it doesn't. I just hope it is not my age (73) and the end of the line! I have a really great sex life with my partner and I have no difficulties there. But I desperately want the Aneros to work for me. I know it can but where am I going wrong? Your comments are most welcome. I hope you don'think it's all really sad. "Poor old man. He be better off taking up bingo or chess!!" Tomasheen.
    PS I thought I posted this or similar today but it seem to have got lost somewhere along the way.
  • hulahula
    Posts: 212
    Sounds like you just need to take a break from all activities relating to either masturbation or the aneros. Give it 48 hours, and get some sleep. You'll have much better luck.
  • CockadoodleCockadoodle
    Posts: 397
    Good day to you Tomasheen,

    Hula is probably correct, at least to start with. l think a lot of us have found, over time, that a little "breathing room" is a good thing when it comes to Aneros play.

    First of all, remember that the entire rewiring process is about learning something new. All our lives, you say it in your post, we have been about orgasm in the typical male fashion, ejaculation or near-ejaculation (rimming, pre-ejac high, you name it). The thing is, tomasheen, we're telling you that there's a different thing going on here, and from the flavor of your post, you're not just not getting it, so far.

    Second, the prostate is a fickle little thing. It takes time, patience, energy, and practice to get it to respond to even begin with. Sounds like you're well on your way there, though, that's good. What you are doing, however is trying to force the issue, IMO. I have long been an advocate of multple-session days, I think they're great, BUT they also come with a price...one which I don't believe you've yet paid.

    Third. Aneros, I believe, has nothing whatever to do with sex. It's not a sexual toy. It's about orgasmic gratification and multiple male orgasm discovery. It comes through patient practice and learning to understand and respond to the very subtle feedback that your prostate reveals in small steps. I'm a bit younger than you, 64, and it took me months of practice and lots of less-that-spectacular sessions to get the point that I can rely on my prostate to respond. But I think that you're trying too hard.

    Fourth. Your sessions are just too short at this point in your journey, IMHO. Perhaps you can plan a bit better for your sessions, nothing wrong with once a day for a while, by the way, where you can devote a little more time to the process, and allow your body, and your prostate to get accustomed to the arousal period that usually accompanies a successful Aneros session. Take some time to ramp up, to let your prostate respond, use a little nipple stimulation to help it out. Tomasheen, IMHO this process can neither be rushed or short circuited. It just takes time. Now, having said that, once you get to the point where you be relatively certain that you're going to have a successful session on a regular basis, then perhaps, you may try shorter sessions, but it seems to me that you're not there yet.

    So, chill, dude. Your high level of anxiety is showing. "I desperately want the Aneros to work for me" is probably the reason that it's not. My dear man, you really have to relax and let this all come to you. You cannot demand it. You cannot even hope it'll come. It just doesn't work that way.

    Seek the more peaceful, spiritual side of Aneros. Let your spirit free, release the tension in your body and expect nothing when you start a session. Give yourself some time to unwind your expectations and relax. Free your mind. Buy the Hypneraneros CD that rumel has made and use it to salve your anxiety.

    We wish you only the best, most fulfilling Aneros experience Tomasheen. But unless you lower your expectation and learn that this is not about the destination but rather about the journey, you may never get what you want from Aneros.

    Peace brother, and success on your journey.

    Cockadoodle
  • artformartform
    Posts: 1,477
    Hi again Tomasheen! :D

    hula and Cockadoodle have given you great advice here, IMHO. Allay your concern about your age. Look at the posts/threads by mog, who had his breakthrough in his late 70s and is the Senior Adept both here and at KSMO (Key Sound Multiple Orgasms – How to Last Longer in Bed... Way Longer... Orgasms after Orgasm | Help for Premature Ejaculation + Female Multiple Orgasms and Male Multiple Orgasm ). Almost all of us experience, plateau periods or even setbacks, only to have good progress or amazing breakthroughs occur when least expected.

    mog, having been declared OMG Sir Mog of MultiOrgattainia lord of the realm of MMO, having entered the post-Aneros and post-KSMO phases of the true Adept, has given us his http://www.aneros.com/forum/f5/anerosian-aphorisms-14244/ :

    Just by relaxed submissive desire, I have these fantastic orgasms visit me.
    mog

    all patient enjoyment eventually can bring all

    artform
  • PommiePommie
    Posts: 717
    Tomasheen,

    I am just a couple of years younger than you so I hope the following will come across to you as relevant. I note that is barely a month since you registered so I assume you have not been enjoying this journey for very long. If that is true, it is very definitely Early Days Yet!

    First up: this has nothing whatever to do with your penis. The fact that you experience an erection at the start of your sessions would seem to indicate that you are feeling a bit horny while you are setting yourself up for a session but that settles down as the session proceeds. If I were you, I would just ignore the erection bit, it is probably getting in the way of the thinking processes that should be going on during your session. I would urge you to read the absolutely excellent General Discussion thread that was posted by Cockadoodle called http://www.aneros.com/forum/f5/penis-not-13035/

    Second: I’m a bit confused by your statement that “I can lie there for ages, the erection goes down and nothing returns” but then you say “I have a routine of three to four sessions each day. They are short..about 15 minutes..because that is when it seems to give up.”

    As hula has suggested, I would advise that you simply stop all Aneros and sexual activity for a period of some days to allow your system to come back to some sort of equilibrium. IMO, 48 hours would be the minimum length of the break; try for at least three or four days to allow your anticipation to build. (Treat it like the refractory period that follows a normal ejaculatory orgasm)!

    When you resume Aneros activity, try to arrange a session of at least an hour after insertion of the device, and simply allow your body to relax completely.

    I think that the rest of it has already been said by Cockadoodle in his post above.

    Pommie
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,254
    Tomasheen,

    I do hope you will go back and re-read the introductory PM I sent you and the notation about “expectations”. Un-met expectations can lead to frustration and frustration to stress and stress is a pleasure killer for most of us. But there is an equally damaging type of expectation when we program ourselves to expect disappointment. The ability to get into the Super-O Zone is more mental than physical. If your mind is not ready for the experience, it simply will not happen!

    You are aware of this and yet you undermine your own efforts when you make statements to yourself such as “This is just lovely now ...but it won't last." And it doesn't.” Of course it doesn't last because you've programmed yourself to assure that it doesn't. Our fellow member, 'The_Bishop', has, as his posting signature, a quote I completely agree with - "The mind is everything. What you think you become." - Buddha. How and what we think largely determines our ability to be successful with anything in life and Aneros practice is no exception.

    What type of lube you use, the length of your sessions, your erectile state, the model you are using, whether you are farting or not, etc. all have an effect to be sure but not nearly the effect as what is taking place within your mind.

    My suggestion to you is to take the time off as suggested by others and examine your own thought patterns and what you are telling yourself. We all have an internal dialogue running, some of this dialogue is scripted from things taught in our youth which have never been critically examined or challenged for accuracy, relevance or benefit. Then return to that statement and see if you might re-frame it into a more positve, proactive form such as “This is just lovely now and I know with patience it will get even lovelier.” When you start making these simple alterations in your thought patterns you are in effect reprogramming your mind. When you reprogram your mind, you reprogram your body to respond differently to stimulation. When you have reprogrammed your body, you will be “rewired” at a new and better level of awareness.
  • Tomasheen
    Posts: 181
    To all you who have responded to my SOS, I thank you most sincerely. I shall read and study the comments and advice and the other earlies comments too. I feel a great hopefulness. Tomasheen.