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Avoiding ejaculation during orgasm?
  • autumn
    Posts: 22
    Some advice and feedback from you aneros Jedi would be much appreciated!

    My initial excursions with the aneros seemed to be mostly 'physical' pleasure with little [if any] 'energy' pleasure. Then it became predominantly 'energy' pleasure with little 'physical' pleasure for some weeks. The orgasmic energy would build to quite an intense point and would be very enjoyable but despite my hopes it would not tip over into an energetic orgasm/dry o. More recently however the aneros quite quickly starts to thrust quite strongly and it elicits strong clenches and body movement. Previously I had not been able to build my arousal to an orgasm but recently I've been able to do that. Each time however there has been an ejaculation and the orgasm has been pretty underwhelming frankly.

    So my question is, given the above, how best can I build my arousal to an orgasm without the physical ejaculation? I loved the intensity of the build up of energy but was frustrated that it would not tip over into orgasm. Yet I find the recent forceful physical movement of the aneros very exciting and satisfying but the ejaculation with underwhelming orgasm frustrating too. Ideally I'd like the intense orgasmic energy build up coupled with the exciting physical movement. However I'm well aware that I'm not the master in this relationship and the aneros will dictate where my progress goes from here :lol:.

    I would appreciate insight from those of you who have already travelled this path before me though :).
  • wohdin
    Posts: 42
    your problem sounds quite similar to my own, actually. Though in my case the T's are quite strong, they're obviously not where I want to be in my Aneros usage.

    My issue could very well be the ill-fated rushing into the act - I'm typically a more "active" user in my sessions, seeing as I feel absolutely nothing when the Aneros is just left on its own and never goes anywhere, and can only faintly feel sensations of any kind with clenching in the beginning. But if I don't do something, then I never get anywhere - at all!

    I would also like to hear the sages' opinions on this matter. :wink:
  • autumn
    Posts: 22
    wohdin said:

    your problem sounds quite similar to my own, actually. Though in my case the T's are quite strong, they're obviously not where I want to be in my Aneros usage.



    By T's I assume you mean tremors? I had an interesting session last night that I'd like to share with you. I went to bed in the early hours of the morning with no intention of doing anything but going to sleep. However as I relaxed physically I started to get the usual sensations I get in an aneros session. It was very similar to the session I had had the day before using the aneros despite the fact that I was aneros free in this case.

    What intrigues me the most though is that the clenching/thrusting was the same. On both occasions I was lying on my back and in both occasions my buttocks would suddenly clench coupled with an upward thrust of my pelvis, lifting it off the bed. Given that I wasn't using the aneros last night this clearly is as a result of the orgasmic energy doing its thing rather than it being entirely contingent on aneros use. I'm intrigued to see where it goes from here as my re-wiring unfolds.

    My issue could very well be the ill-fated rushing into the act - I'm typically a more "active" user in my sessions, seeing as I feel absolutely nothing when the Aneros is just left on its own and never goes anywhere, and can only faintly feel sensations of any kind with clenching in the beginning. But if I don't do something, then I never get anywhere - at all!



    That sounds very much like where I was in my initial aneros forays, as I described in my initial post above. Do you use HypnAerosession? That seemed to really kick start my progress but of course your mileage might vary :P.

    I would also like to hear the sages' opinions on this matter. :wink:



    Me too although my last thread didn't attract their attention either :(. Oh well, I do smell :cry:.

    Seriously though, I'm not sure what I'm expecting them to say if I'm entirely honest. I'm sure the natural response is that that's just where I am in my re-wiring process, as it is for you. However anything would be better than nothing :P.

    Thanks for your reply in any case. Please do consider HypnAerosession if you're not already a user. I regularly use it just to relax physically before sleep as I find it so wonderfully effective. I'm sure that that deep relaxation is what kick started my progress with the aneros too.
  • MartyB
    Posts: 80
    I'm not a jedi master but I do have two cents to throw around :)

    "By T's I assume you mean tremors?" I can't speak for wohdin but my impression was he was referring to T-orgasm / traditional orgasm / wet orgasm / Typical male orgasm followed shortly there after by ejaculation.

    "I loved the intensity of the build up of energy but was frustrated that it would not tip over into orgasm." This is where I'm at and have been since the beginning. I'm not an "active" user at all. I lay almost motionless during the entire session. I'm also very quiet, not that I need to be. I could scream it from the mountain top if I wanted to, hmm, maybe I should try that. The only motion I do exhibit is caused by slowly building muscle tension that I’m not aware of, causing my back to arch, or legs to be drawn in. Once I become aware of this I relax and stop moving.

    I've thought about getting more physical or active (no penis touching/rubbing) to see if that would take me to the next level, but haven't as of yet.

    I've only recently started nipple stim when I'm well into a session. I'm amazed at how this seems to directly create pleasure in my prostate. I've noticed I have to be careful not to start nipple stim to early in a session. It only seems to be effective for so long, so if I use it to get me off the ground, then I don’t get much further. If I get myself started and well on my way, then it takes me to the next level :) your mileage may vary.

    Hope this helps you on your journey,
    Marty
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,254
    autumn,

    I don't understand your distinction between 'physical' and 'energy' pleasures. I just look at pleasure as pleasure, regardless of its originating source.

    Are you touching your penis or allowing your penis to touch anything during your sessions? If so this could easily be the trigger for ejaculation. If not, then perhaps you may need to try to focus on relaxing the pelvic floor muscles more. Decrease the amount of intensity of your contractions to only the lightest of levels. When you feel you are approaching the PONR, completely relax and cease all voluntary muscular movement and other stimulation, do slow natural deep relaxing breaths and act as an observer of your body's energy flow for as long as it takes to allow the pent up energy to dissipate throughout your body. When you feel the energy has re-balanced itself slowly resume the contractions.

    Some men are just naturally pre-wired to experience hands free orgasms, this can be a blessing or a curse, take your pick. While you could condition yourself to stop this through aversion therapy, I would not recommend that you do that. Your body wants to respond to stimulation in its own unique way, I suspect you can learn ways to circumvent whatever is triggering your ejaculatory reflex by experimenting with other body positions, stimulation techniques, etc. This is your journey, let it be an adventure into exploring the unknown reaches of your mind, you may find some wonderful new realms within.
  • autumn
    Posts: 22
    MartyB said:

    I'm not a jedi master but I do have two cents to throw around :)



    All contributions gratefully received :).

    "By T's I assume you mean tremors?" I can't speak for wohdin but my impression was he was referring to T-orgasm / traditional orgasm / wet orgasm / Typical male orgasm followed shortly there after by ejaculation.



    Oh of course! Thank you MartyB, that makes much more sense to me now :). Sorry wohdin :oops:.

    "I loved the intensity of the build up of energy but was frustrated that it would not tip over into orgasm." This is where I'm at and have been since the beginning. I'm not an "active" user at all. I lay almost motionless during the entire session. I'm also very quiet, not that I need to be. I could scream it from the mountain top if I wanted to, hmm, maybe I should try that. The only motion I do exhibit is caused by slowly building muscle tension that I’m not aware of, causing my back to arch, or legs to be drawn in. Once I become aware of this I relax and stop moving.



    Please do be vocal in your sessions as that's not an issue for you to be so. From what I've read on here that will help to increase your arousal. When I get aroused enough to moan unbidden it certainly does do this for me :).

    I've only recently started nipple stim when I'm well into a session. I'm amazed at how this seems to directly create pleasure in my prostate. I've noticed I have to be careful not to start nipple stim to early in a session. It only seems to be effective for so long, so if I use it to get me off the ground, then I don’t get much further. If I get myself started and well on my way, then it takes me to the next level :) your mileage may vary.



    Thanks, I've found that too with nipple stim. I always use HypnAerosession in an aneros session and although my arousal always is well ahead of the pace set by Alana I find that if I can resist the temptation to rush ahead and start working on my nipples I have a much better session in the end if I go at her pace and enjoy the body stroking.

    Hope this helps you on your journey,
    Marty



    Thanks, you too :).

    rumel said:

    autumn,

    I don't understand your distinction between 'physical' and 'energy' pleasures. I just look at pleasure as pleasure, regardless of its originating source.



    Sorry about that. I was trying to differentiate between the phases of my aneros experience so far as I described in my previous post. I went through a phase where the pleasure felt very much a build up of energy with little to no physical movement on my part. More recently however my body has started to clench and thrust as I described in my previous post. In each of these cases my approach to the session is entirely passive; all I do is concentrate on relaxing as deeply as I can. Within a few deep breaths the sensations start and the involuntary clenching and thrusting starts really quite quickly now. Once that happens I just try to go with the flow on the basis that the aneros and my body know what they're doing better than my conscious, controlling mind does.

    My distinction between the 'energy' and 'physical' pleasure was really a clumsy attempt to describe that, together with the fact that they feel very different indeed to me.

    However your comment above has me rethinking my attitude to this so bless you for that :).

    As you say, pleasure is pleasure so I'll pay particular attention to this in my next sessions.

    Are you touching your penis or allowing your penis to touch anything during your sessions? If so this could easily be the trigger for ejaculation.



    Not guilty sir!


    If not, then perhaps you may need to try to focus on relaxing the pelvic floor muscles more.



    Hm, I tend to concentrate on breathing as deeply as I can, sometimes to the extent that I'm really withdrawing and expanding my lower abdomen much more than in my normal breathing and even deep breathing. I'll experiment with my breathing and see what effect that has.

    Decrease the amount of intensity of your contractions to only the lightest of levels.



    I pretty much already do this. Once I have the first clench/thrust, which as I said happens pretty quickly near the start of a session, then the aneros pretty much is on auto-pilot. I don't generally have to think about deliberate contractions from there and often find myself contracting so strongly that I consciously try to relax those whilst still 'going with the flow'. In fact I generally have involuntary slight contractions within the first few deep breaths at the start of a session. I usually have quite an intense build up of involuntary contractions/clenches/thrusts well before Alana has asked me to do my first contraction. This initial build up reaches a peak and then settles down and I concentrate on the relaxation and go along with the HypnAerosession from thereon.

    When you feel you are approaching the PONR, completely relax and cease all voluntary muscular movement and other stimulation, do slow natural deep relaxing breaths and act as an observer of your body's energy flow for as long as it takes to allow the pent up energy to dissipate throughout your body. When you feel the energy has re-balanced itself slowly resume the contractions.



    Thank you, I'll definitely do this.

    Some men are just naturally pre-wired to experience hands free orgasms, this can be a blessing or a curse, take your pick. While you could condition yourself to stop this through aversion therapy, I would not recommend that you do that. Your body wants to respond to stimulation in its own unique way,



    Agreed. As I reply to you it strikes me that I'm probably being rather impatient. I've only been using the aneros for a matter of weeks and my experience with it has changed quite dramatically in that time. I think I need to remind myself to accept this part of the journey for what it is rather than try to reach any particular milestone e.g. dry orgasms.

    I suspect you can learn ways to circumvent whatever is triggering your ejaculatory reflex by experimenting with other body positions, stimulation techniques, etc. This is your journey, let it be an adventure into exploring the unknown reaches of your mind, you may find some wonderful new realms within.



    Thank you; I have got into a bit of a routine with it so I will experiment as you suggest :).

    Thank you all for your comments, they are all much appreciated :).

    I think part of my desire to seek guidance by posting this thread is due to the subtle anxiety this aneros journey leaves me with. Through replying to you all it's made me realise that the stumbling around in the dark with some guidelines from those who've travelled that path before [i.e. advice from you all in the Forum and the Wiki etc] but without a clear knowledge of which way I'm going, what I will encounter and where the path will twist and turn is really quite disconcerting to me. It gives me pause to consider just how important it is to me to be in control or at least feel like I am. This aneros journey is taking me out of my comfort zone, that's for sure! So thank you all for your comments; they make me feel supported and encouraged to continue to brave the unknown so bless you all for that :).

    Having said that though I do find it paradoxically reassuring that my body seems to know what it's doing even if I feel that I don't, consciously. For example, as I sit here and type all this I have that delightful sensation of tightness in my lower abdomen together with that lovely buzzing feeling of energy waiting to do its thing. What a perplexing but exciting journey! :D
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,254
    (Note : Underlined Text is a Hyper-Link)
    autumn,

    You are not alone in finding your ego consciousness erecting roadblocks in the path. I think concerns over control and loss thereof are pretty common. You said, “...but without a clear knowledge of which way I'm going, what I will encounter and where the path will twist and turn is really quite disconcerting to me. It gives me pause to consider just how important it is to me to be in control or at least feel like I am. This aneros journey is taking me out of my comfort zone, that's for sure! “ Having total control of your body processes is somewhat illusory, much of what we feel and sense is taking place on sub-conscious levels, 24/7. I think you already know that by your statement, “...I do find it paradoxically reassuring that my body seems to know what it's doing even if I feel that I don't, consciously.” Yes, your body does know exactly what it is capable of doing, you merely need to “just let go” of the need for conscious control over the whole process. This doesn't mean that you consciousness totally leaves the experience, quite the contrary. By relinquishing the need to lead the process and letting your body consciousness lead, your ego consciousness can become the ultimate observer to savor and enjoy all the sensations your body is capable of producing.
    You might want to read my responses to 'chronos86' in the Hypnosis and Aneros Experience which addresses some of my thoughts about this.

    You said, “What a perplexing but exciting journey!” I couldn't agree more! Let you adventure unfold as it will.
  • autumn
    Posts: 22
    Apologies for the belated reply rumel. I've tried to reply several times over the last week and just haven't been able to find the words! So if you don't mind me selectively quoting you I'll give it another go now :).

    rumel said:

    ...Having total control of your body processes is somewhat illusory, much of what we feel and sense is taking place on sub-conscious levels, 24/7. I think you already know that by your statement...



    Yes, I know enough about how our body and brain operates to appreciate that much of it is not under the governance of our conscious mind. Enough in any case to understand that there is much more to me than the 'me' of my conscious mind and that these various parts each have their role to play and their own areas of expertise to which they are best suited.

    Yes, your body does know exactly what it is capable of doing, you merely need to “just let go” of the need for conscious control over the whole process. This doesn't mean that you consciousness totally leaves the experience, quite the contrary. By relinquishing the need to lead the process and letting your body consciousness lead, your ego consciousness can become the ultimate observer to savor and enjoy all the sensations your body is capable of producing.



    Yes, that's the approach I endeavour to take with my sessions. I am of the opinion that the rest of me that isn't the conscious mind knows what it's doing far better than the 'me' of my conscious mind. So it's best that I try to get that conscious mind out of the way of the rest of me that knows what it's doing so it can do its thing.

    So far I've had mixed results in my sessions with taking this approach. The conscious mind always want to be in control and is hesitant to be a passive observer. However, I'm hopeful that as I become more comfortable and familiar with the process of an aneros session including the techniques one uses e.g. belly breathing, non genital physical stroking etc, my conscious mind will feel sufficiently secure enough to quietly observe and enjoy the symphony of sensations, whilst giving the occasional prompt as necessary to keep the session on track.

    You might want to read my responses to 'chronos86' in the Hypnosis and Aneros Experience which addresses some of my thoughts about this.



    Thank you, that was an interesting read.

    You said, “What a perplexing but exciting journey!” I couldn't agree more! Let you adventure unfold as it will.



    Thanks :). Before I ordered the aneros I knew that this would all be part of the package. I knew that it wouldn't be as simple as: shove a bit of plastic up my bum + a few anal contractions = orgasm city! :lol: I knew that progress would only really come with a willingness on my part to do the inner work necessary to leave some of my current reality behind in order to embrace a new reality. As I'm sure you're aware that's not always easy and due to personal circumstances it's an aspect of my life that has been neglected for far too long. So the aneros represented a pleasant way to get back to that with the carrot of improved erotic/sensual/orgasmic potential to go along with it :).

    My conundrum now is how best to incorporate this into my general lifestyle. Although I've only had the aneros for a few weeks now I've found that my use of it has tended to come in spurts. I might not touch it for a couple of weeks between sessions. I find this frustrating and frankly it's not what I really want. In general I feel like I need to give my whole lifestyle a good shake up so hopefully my reflections on this will bear fruit soon.
  • newbie2009newbie2009
    Posts: 267
    Some thoughts on PHYSICAL pleasure, ENERGY pleasure and session improvement

    Nary a sage nor a Jedi be I. I'm still wandering about in the Mini-O pasture and haven't achieved more than one Mino-O in any one session. But here's my cut on the 'energy pleasure' versus 'physical pleasure' sub-topic.

    I've adopted a slower path and am classifying my "Aneros in" sessions into three categories:

    a. Physical sessions .. Just plain selfish, stupid, raunchy ano-play aimed at nothing more than physical pleasure. No meditation. Avoid Tao. These seem good for experimentation with positions, lubes, contraction techniques etc. No intent to achieve any 'energy oriented' O. Strictly for fun. These may slow down the progress toward a Super-O but, what the heck. I've had no Mini-Os during these sessions... all 'physical pleasure' with little sense of body energy flow. Great outlet !!

    b. Couple/loving session -- With my wife, unstructured, low-key necking/petting, energy transfer (see artform's recent blog entry on ecstasy and couples -- gud stuff but I'm unable to complete the looping that he achieves). Dreamy, all foreplay with no sexual intercourse. Out of four or five of these, I've had a Mini-O on one. All 'energy pleasure', little physical. (not tantric but perhaps that's the next move.)

    c. Serious Aneros 'energy' sessions -- So far I've used Alana, track #1 on all four of these sessions. I still need to be 'led by the hand' and Alana's guided venture is very efficient. Box score is three Mini-Os out of the four sessions. The emphasis is sensing "energy pleasure" -- that pleasure that's generated from within. BTW I've very consistent with a Mini-O between 1+10 and 1+15. Probably have to move on to track #2 or BrainSync to avoid getting 'wired' into track one. (Don't want to become Pavlov's dog!)

    Now... how does this cross over into other aspects of one's life? Here's what I'm experiencing.

    Years ago, when I first got into hand-to-hand training, instructors were always relating movement and flow to the Dantien. I didn't master that relationship, was very mechanical and had to build all my muscle-memory around mechanical positions or memorized moves. (Which is suicide since it requires extra layer(s) of thinking--one has to hope the other guy is also screwed up.)

    Suddenly, when my first Mini-O organized as a transfer of energy from my prostate focus to my whole Pelvis I realized a massive growth of energy in my Dantien. That energy became a radiating pleasure wave that moved upward through my torso along both sides of my neck and upward to the tips of my ears. These Mini-Os have improved my sense of Dantien and improved my confidence in my every movement -- walking, shaking hands, TaiChi, etc. The growth in self-confidence belies my age.

    Now, here's how an athletic behavior helps with the Aneros...

    I've found that a serious STRETCHING routine improves any of my sessions but specifically, "Serious Aneros sessions." After showering and toweling off, I now spend three or four minutes in serious stretching exercises, just like those I'd do before a judged TaiChi session or a serious bike ride. I have far better sense of minor muscle contractions and am better attuned to what my bod is doing and experiencing.

    Until I started this I was getting an occasional muscle cramp when I'd break into involuntary tremor-- particularly in the quadriceps or hamstrings. Those cramps were an annoying distraction and following a cramp I never got a Mini-O.

    I think this is worthy of consideration in section #3 of the Wiki. Probably a new 3.2.
  • autumn
    Posts: 22

    Some thoughts on PHYSICAL pleasure, ENERGY pleasure and session improvement



    Thank you for your thoughts :).
  • Badger
    Posts: 648
    Re: cramping.

    I was having very severe muscle spasms at the most inopportune times, especially when finishing up in the bathroom, and my doctor said that muscle spasms were caused by a lack of magnesium and maybe some potassium. Since then, I've been taking 500mg of Mg daily (smallest dosage I can find), and I haven't had any real cramps or spasms since.

    Hope this is helpful.
  • wohdin
    Posts: 42
    Hah, several responses I've missed. My subscription update emails suddenly began being spam-filtered.

    autumn said:

    Do you use HypnAerosession?

    I do not, though I do use Kelly Howell's Ecstasy CD occasionally. It hasn't shown a great deal of change, but it still adds... something. Not quite sure what it is exactly, but it's certainly not negative.


    The replies to this thread have given me a number of good starting points to experiment with. I'll be busy with them for a while~ XD