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Please share advice about the best way to introduce hubby
  • LilylolLilylol
    Posts: 5

    My goal is to introduce a fun, amazing new practice into our already robust sex life. I'd like my husband to enjoy using the aneros with me, and also by himself. He knows I have bought this toy and what it is for but we have not had a chance to give it a try. My thought is that there are three ways we could start.

    1. He could try using it by himself first. Booooring! (At least for me, but I can see how it might be a good idea to start this way.) :wink:

    2. Once inserted I could then give him a massage while it is in to help him relax. Then we could either make love or we could watch a favorite porno together while he does some contractions. I would be very happy masterbating while he was having a good time with the toy if it is better that he have no additional stimulation.

    3. After insertion we could make love as we always do, with no special accomodations made for the little helper.

    For those of you who are experienced, would any of these three plans be best? Is there another option that I have not considered that would be better? My goal would be for him to have a mind blowing, amazing experience. Failing that, it would be nice if it were at least an enhancement to our already super sex life.

    Clearly, using this toy can take practice. If there is anything I can do to stack the odds in favor of him having an amazing experience the first time, I want to try to do it. From what I gather it is important to use enough lube internally, and it is important to relax. Lots of fellows mention that their penis touches the bed when they lay on their side, and so I get the impression that penile stimulation is not a good thing. Or is it? Is sex with the aneros fun? Is he going to be able to relax and enjoy the full benefit of this toy if I am with him?

    Any and all advice welcome!
  • If I were your husband, I'd choose "#4. All of the above". He is SO lucky to have you and you are a remarkable woman to be so interested in his pleasure!
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,140

    As Slipperybugger mentioned, your husband is one lucky guy that you're so committed to having a special experience with him like this. With respect to your alternatives, I like to tell people that there are really two directions to take with the Aneros. The first is as an amplifier for traditional lovemaking. In this instance it can be used right out of the box to enhance any number of different sexual activities. In this context it is not necessary to avoid penile stimulation, as a matter of fact it should be encouraged!

    I like both of your #2 and #3 choices! To add to that you might want to incorporate a little perineal massage leading into an anal massage prior to inserting the Aneros as a way to warm things up. This will help relax him and prepare him for the insertion as well. On the insertion, this is something that you might help him with. This can be a lot of fun particularly when this is performed in a sensual manner...teasing his anus with a slow penetrative movement. Once the Aneros is inside, just remember to have him allow adequate time to become accustomed to the device before utilizing any contractions. Have hang out with it for a while. That's where the erotic vids would work in nicely. After 15 -20 mins or so (longer if he needs it), have him start with very subtle contractions. Understand that it is not necessary to hammer oneself with intense contractions to produce sensations from the Aneros. To the contrary, most often the subtler contractions are more productive! There is no need for him to focus on it too intently either, just go about your business exploring each others bodies and let the Aneros work it's magic in the background.

    Regarding your question about intercourse, yes the Aneros can be used during intercourse to great effect. So have at it, explore and enjoy!

    For more couples related ideas you can check this post out from my old B's Best of BEE LINE thread or your can do a search with the keyword "couples" as well.

    One last thing, with respect to the Super O, the non-ejaculatory, whole-body orgasm that you've read about around here, know that this is something entirely different from the right out of the box application. This will require some solo time on your partner's part, getting to know his body in a new and different way. It is during this kind of exploration that penile stimulation should be avoided. You both should familiarize yourself with the WIKI for more information on this beginning with the "Getting Started" section

    If he gets into this you might want to schedule some time for him alone...say 45 mins to an hour to start with, followed by some more traditional exploits with you (as above). Once he becomes familiar with producing pleasure in this new way, you may look at incorporating it into your lovemaking sessions together.

    If you have any further questions please don't hesitate to post or you may send a P.M. to me or any of the other members here in the forum. Oh, and btw. welcome to the Aneros forum!


    BF Mayfield
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,484
    (Note : Underlined Text is a Hyper-Link)
    Hi Lilylol,

    Welcome to the Forum,

    I agree with ‘slipperybugger’ and ‘B Mayfield’, your husband is a lucky guy to have you so involved with expanding the sensual boundaries for both of you.

    In addition to the information provided by ‘B Mayfield’, may I also recommend you read the following : Sticky : A Wife’s Perspective, Women Too from the WIKI and these threads – HELP A GIRL OUT, My Lover likes things up his butt & I bought the Helix for my husband, any advice.....

    In response to a few of your questions :

    “Lots of fellows mention that their penis touches the bed when they lay on their side, and so I get the impression that penile stimulation is not a good thing. Or is it?” - I encourage you and your husband to read the thread, Penis,NOT!, which addressed this topic.

    “Is sex with the aneros fun?” - You’ll just have to find out for yourself! :lol: :roll: :shock: :lol:

    “Is he going to be able to relax and enjoy the full benefit of this toy if I am with him?” - It is nearly impossible to predict how an individual will react upon their first introduction to these massagers. In most cases it takes a period of time for a man to experience his Prostate Awakening, certainly, your supportive attitude will enhance his chances for early success.

    And just so you don’t feel that you are missing out on anything, have you considered getting a set of the Aneros Peridise units for yourself? You might want to read what fellow member ‘lynn2694’ had to say in A WOMAN IN “PERIDISE”.
  • LilylolLilylol
    Posts: 5
    Thank you so much, all three of you. Awesome advice and a gracious welcome.

    This place has a wealth of information, just love it. I have been reading all day and feel like I have some great strategies to help him get off to a good start... pun fully intended. :D

    Hmmm... in addition to trying all of the advice to help ensure he has a good time with me and has the opportunity to practice on his own, I may just have to try the Peridise. I read the post that described a hands free orgasm experienced by a female poster. This is very interesting! We ladies do not have a prostate, but our overall wiring isn't so different from yours. I confess to having watched Artic Wolves video (a few times)... what a delightfully.....engaging young man! LOL! Is this type of thing possible for a woman?? Even if it isnt, I sure would love to see my guy have this type of experience.

    I will let you know how our adventures play out, and if I end up buying and trying the Peridise you will hear about it.
  • ArcticWolvesArcticWolves
    Posts: 286
    Lilylol said:

    I confess to having watched Artic Wolves video (a few times)... what a delightfully.....engaging young man! LOL! Is this type of thing possible for a woman?? Even if it isnt, I sure would love to see my guy have this type of experience.

    Wow, thanks for watching my video. I'm glad you enjoyed it. To be honest I was asking myself the same question only in reverse after seeing this video:

    I wasn't watching the squirting part, although that was pretty nice, I watched the entire involuntary body response. Then started my quest on landing back onto this site of the phenomena called a Super-Orgasm. Two sessions later I was shaking out of control like this video. Very very shocking...

    So I'm going to say it's very possible to have something similar Lily, but it may come from g-spot stimulation. I'm not sure though.

    I wish you and your husband the best of pleasure this will bring to both your lives. Take care and if you have any other questions don't hesitate to ask.
  • LilylolLilylol
    Posts: 5
    We tried last night for the first time. We watched a movie and I gave him a massage, and he just lay quietly and after about 15 or 20 min did some kegel type of contractions on the aneros. He said it did not give him any pleasure feelings, he just felt like he had something in his butt. After a while of this I pleasured myself as he watched and helped, and then I went down on him and then we made love. He had a good orgasm, but not better than normal. He said it felt like he was pooping when he came, which was a bit distracting since that isnt something he'd want to have happen during an orgasm. :shock: He was relieved that it was just the unfamiliar sensations in his back door during sex that he normally only feels when he is on the john.

    I am hoping that he practices alone some, and told him that I would like him to bring the device into bed as often as he likes. I think that his prostate will need time to wake up, and time is certainly something we have. Nothing is more fun than making love! The level of pleasure and connection possible seems well worth it. If you have any advice please let me know.

    I liked the video. She certainly looks like she is having a great time! I always wonder where in the world the squirting is coming from when I see it. I am a grown woman who knows her body well and have had some pretty insane orgasms, and have never had anything like that happen. I am unaware of any secret reservours of liquid that could be made to spring forth during sex... hee hee. I have read that this is not urine, but if that is true then what is it?? Is it just lubrication from excitement that comes out with the force of a strong orgasmic contraction? Ah, such a mystery!

    I will ask hubby to watch this video since it looks like a rollicking good time to me! We have never tried that particular hand technique... but I think we will!
  • ArcticWolvesArcticWolves
    Posts: 286
    Well, from what I hear a rumor is clearly out that this guy is full of himself. His technique is to rough and no woman in their right mind would allow that? I don't know though? I know more members here will comment on that guy once they see the video I'm referring to.

    Lily, the best thing to do is just to give it time and don't force anything as far as the aneros device is concerned. He needs to relax and release any expectations he may have for that device. Yes, it may take awhile before he fully adjusts to these new-found sensations. Also, I am wondering which lube you used to insert the aneros and how much? One more thing, you stated that it didn't give him any pleasurable feelings. The question is, was he EXPECTING pleasurable feelings?

    Like I said, the best advice is to just relax and go with the flow. He should not get discouraged or disappointed if nothing happens. Everyone is different and it may be it will take him awhile longer to adjust.

    Best of luck to you all!
  • LilylolLilylol
    Posts: 5
    Regarding the video, I honestly dont think that it looked too rough. If preceeded by a Yoni massage I would think that his technique could be very fun. She certainly looked like she had been prepared in some way; she appeared to be aroused before he began doing that cupping motion in my opinion.

    As to the fellow in the video being pretty full of himself, yes... I certainly got that vibe. LOL! Aren't people funny?

    I am not sure what my hubby expected, honestly. I think he expected it to maybe make his orgasm stronger, and I think I told him it might do that. Mostly I think he just kept an open mind. We will keep trying. This is an area of his body that has been asleep for many, many years. We dont expect it to awaken overnight.

    KY Jelly was used internally, and a thin layer of vaseline on the aneros followed by more KY over top of that. I wonder if the condom technique would be worth trying?
  • AlanaAlana
    Posts: 32
    Hello Lilylol.

    I'm so happy to see you and your husband exploring such beautiful territory. It has always been my hope that more guys will share their Aneros experience with their female partners. It only continues to make the bond between grow stronger and the Bliss...much longer.

    As a natural female ejaculator, many years ago I thought something was wrong with me, until I spoke to my Dr, who went on to explain, then I continued to study more on the subject. I believe All women can experience this high ecstasy, given a patient, loving partner, with the right technique for her.

    Here's to you both, and your Bliss,

    Posts: 4

    How did you introduce the Aneros to him? I am curious as I just bought one for my hubby.
  • LilylolLilylol
    Posts: 5
    Thanks Alana. We are exploring the possibilities for me, too. It is good to hear from a woman who has had this experience - I appreciate it very much! I have had some pretty great orgasms but have never squirted, and I admit it is a startling concept for me.

    I agree that it is sad to think that the search for joy and pleasure should bring couples closer together. Such fun!

    TDGJWG, I told him that I wanted to try to help him have a great experience. I basically laid it out for him in the same way my original post was written. I told him that I would love to see him experience a prosate orgasm, what I had read about it, and outlined the possible ways we could start.