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HELP A GIRL OUT
  • Hi everyone,

    I'm a 32yr old woman and very new to this. I understand human anatomy and the physical workings of using this product, but there is so much I don't understand and really want to.
    Honestly, I purchased and Aneros today. I've never been with someone who's used one and have limited experience with giving anal stimulation to a man. I began dating my significant other (he's fantastic), just before he left for Iraq. He's returning in the fall. He and I are very open and we enjoy being creative when we have sex. I know that he is very open to anal stimulation and is not afraid to experiment. I bought this item to use together. Of course I'm hoping that I will put it into place for him and he will majically have the most mind blowing experience of his life. But from what I'm reading, it might take a lot of time for him to get any real pleasure from this. Which might discourage in the short run. My entire goal is to give him the pleasure equal to how I feel for him! I am looking for any advice from men or women who could constructivly guide me to help introduce a wonderful experience for him. He's a man that puts pure focus in my pleasure and I want to more than WOW him when he returns home from war. I would appreciate any help I can have. Be blunt, obviously I'm not shy. (ha-ha) I hope this also might help out any other women out there with questions of this mind-altering possibility for the men in their lives. Thanks to anyone "cumming" to our rescue. :wink:
  • gm501
    Posts: 87
    It's wonderful that you are so interested in learning about this product and how it can pleasure your guy when he gets back. Good for you!

    As you have read, there is a "learning curve" for this product, and my feeling is that the best way for him to learn it is by himself. So after you give it to him, let him have some alone time and when he is ready, you can participate in whatever way he wants you to. I think you'll do fine. Good luck to you both.
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,077
    lynn2694,

    Welcome to the Aneros Forum!

    First, I must say that your S.O. is one lucky guy to have someone like you in his life. It's clear that you're a caring person who is open to experiencing new things and dedicated to making your relationship with this man the best that it can be.

    To begin with you should understand that the Aneros can be used right out of the box to enhance the magnitude of any traditional (ejaculatory) experience. Once inserted the device is responsive to any small movement or contraction that a man makes. Intercourse, masturbation, oral pleasures can all be amplified by using this product and there is no special skill required for this.

    But there is a second, more powerful way that the Aneros can be used. One that will require some solo time for your partner....but time that will be well spent.

    If you've read through some of the comments in this forum you've no doubt seen some discussion of a phenomenon that we call the Super Orgasm. While the WIKI has a more in depth explanation of it, suffice it to say that what this refers to is an intense whole-body non-ejaculatory orgasm, that can last minutes at a time and be repeated over and over in a single session. The experience appears in the writings of the Tao and Tantra going back many thousands of years.

    The Aneros is a device that effective lowers the bar for achieving this experience. It accomplishes it by providing stimulation that is NOT penile in origin. But more importantly it stimulates 3 erogenous zones (the perineal acupressure point, the anus and the prostate/male G-spot) simultaneously...and all with the body's own contractions. It is not powered manually (by hand) and there are no batteries required! lol

    Although the Aneros facilitates this experience, there is most often some learning required to fully access it. This is not push button fulfillment. This learning involves a deeper understanding of our bodies, and an openness to new ways of looking at things. The fact is that most men are convinced that they know everything that there is to know about generating an orgasm. Most men do discover and master the skill of ejaculating fairly early in life and because of the relative ease in doing so they're firmly convinced that they know it all. And for most men that is where their learning stops. In reality there is another orgasmic pathway, one that is largely hidden from view.

    The time it takes to achieve this experience will depend on several factors including a man's openness to new things, his prior experience with anal/prostate stimulation, his patience and to some degree how he's wired. When we speak of wiring here, it often refers to the neuromuscular behavioral changes that are associated with becoming Super Orgasmic. You see, while all men are pre-wired for this non-ejaculatory pathway to some extent, some require more time to awaken it than others. While some men have this right off the bat, more commonly it takes time to achieve. The following Poll will give you a better idea of typical results with the Aneros http://www.aneros.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1800.

    The good news is that this is fun learning and a kind that has the potential to enrich your lives immeasurably. In terms of how you might introduce him to this, it sounds as if you already have a level of honesty and openness in your relationship that should make this fairly easy to do. So go ahead, show him the device and give him some background on it. Tell him that you've discovered a dual purpose device that is both a sexual amplifier and a Tantric Training Wheel ! Or you might tell him about it and use it in the traditional way first, to break the ice. If you are already multi-orgasmic, tell him that you want him to have this experience as well, so you can share it together. While a large amount of Tantra is devoted to amplifying sexuality and extending orgasm, it is the concept of creating and sharing a true orgasmic union that is perhaps the most compelling. If you convey your excitement about this prospect to him...he's undoubtedly going to want to explore this with you. Your desire to "WOW him" is something that most men find irresistible. Ultimately, I would strongly encourage him to eventually visit this site in order that he might read the WIKI (a section that condenses the knowledge of many of the Aneros experts) and also see the comments from the members of this forum.

    If you have any further questions please feel free to post them here. You may also P.M. myself or any other member for more information. The personal messaging (P.M) system provides confidential communication between forum members without the need for email.

    By the way, while you're awaiting his return, you might take some time to familiarize yourself with the Aneros experience by reading through the WIKI on your own.

    Once again, welcome, and I wish you both a delightful journey.

    Enjoy!


    BF Mayfield
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,254
    (Note : Underlined Text is a Hyper-Link)
    Hi Lynn2694,

    I, too, would like to Welcome you to the Forum,

    You received a very nice introductory response from this Forum’s most respected and knowledgeable member, BF Mayfield. I concur with everything he said in that response. In addition to the general comments he made, I would like to point you to a couple of specific locations for further information. You may wish to read Women Too from the WIKI and the Sticky:A Wifes’s Perspective.

    Just so you don’t feel in any way left out of the Aneros learning experience may I also suggest you checkout the Peridise model for use by yourself alone or during concurrent play sessions with your S.O. This model was developed for both men and women’s enjoyment. In spite of its diminutive size this little jewel is quite a stimulator.
  • Thank you to those who have responded, I greatly appreciate it. I've mentioned to my S.O. that I've purchased the Helix. He's very responsive to the idea of us using to together. I would love for anyone who's used and if you feel comfortable, please give me your description of the physical feelings you've experienced using it during sex with a partner. Thanks again.
  • It's awesome and once he starts to Cum he will feel as if every drop in his body flows out. It really is incredible and the fact that he's doing it with you will make him hard as a rock it's a pretty cool feeling for sure. He sounds like a lucky guy.......

    I'm no expert but my experience has been good even though in 2 years I have only reached what I think was the elusive Super O one time I'm not disappointed.
  • J4J4
    Posts: 124
    Lynn2694,

    First of all, congratulations! Couple play with the Aneros is a very interesting facet of this sex toy. It involves, for me, opening the dialogue between partners to a whole new level. I had not needed to describe what feels good to me to my partner in a long time – I’m a guy – how to make me feel good didn’t need a lot of explanation.

    You certainly got me to thinking what a perfect Aneros weekend would be like if my partner totally dedicated 48 hours of time to just my pleasure…

    Anyways… my suggestions are as follows: Try it out on yourself! A good way to ramp up his learning curve is to figure out some of the things about lube and insertion and contractions by giving the device a whirl and experimenting with it first. While you don’t have a prostate, see if you can produce your own involuntaries. If you get the Peridise, you can both jump right into couple play. Help him explore and find his “sweet spot”. Give him a digital exam and see if the both of you can’t identify where his prostate is located. I recommend you shave him in those hard to reach areas.

    It has also been my experience during sex that due to the amplification of sensation this device provides I want to go WAY SLOWER than the frantic animal pace of my youth. He’ll have to tell you what feels good … but this is how it’s happening at my house.

    J4
  • Well, it arrived today....now I'm looking at it thinking: Now what? Ha-ha. My S.O. doesn't return from Iraq for another 7mos, give or take. We are both anxious about it. I just thought I would pass it along that I finally see for myself the item we've discussed. ;)
  • lynn2694 said:

    I am looking for any advice from men or women who could constructivly guide me to help introduce a wonderful experience for him. He's a man that puts pure focus in my pleasure and I want to more than WOW him when he returns home from war. I would appreciate any help I can have. Be blunt, obviously I'm not shy. (ha-ha)



    It's cool that you are supportive. I will say the primary thing you need is patience and time. He will probably need some time alone with it (if for no other reason then spending two hours watching your man writhe around trying to cum isn't always fascinating -- and he may feel bad that you are bored [even if you're not] or have nothing to do yourself). Time is the most important factor -- while it can be used to just "spice things up" the big reward (usually) requires putting in a lot of hours. So just letting him do that (maybe showing up at the end for some sex) is good. It can also be used together of course; I'm just saying its also good to have some practice.

    lynn2694 said:

    I would love for anyone who's used and if you feel comfortable, please give me your description of the physical feelings you've experienced using it during sex with a partner. Thanks again.



    When you go into a Super-O and then start fucking it's like an out of body experience. You are thrusting but you're not actually moving (it's just involuntary spasms). It's really an amazing, amazing experience -- only "problem" is it just takes a long time for many to get there.
  • Welcome to the forums!

    I had a similar experience to you, in that I had bought it and didn't have my partner to play with for MONTHS.

    And even after all that, we've still only managed to play with it once. It was an interesting experience, because we used it with traditional sex. The next time around, i definitely want to coach him thru breathing and contracting and all that good stuff first.

    I'm toying wih the idea of tantric-style sex too, where there is penetration but no thrusting at all to see how that would work.
  • NunyaGA,

    That sounds like an interesting idea. I'll have to check into that as well. But I also know my S.O. After one second being inside me, he wouldn't be able to stand it. He'd be all over me. And I'm not complaining. ;) I'd have to tie the poor guy up. Hey, there's an idea. ha-ha. Thanks for your message, I appreciate it greatly. It sucks having to wait on our men...but a good man is worth being patient!!!
  • oh yeah - you might wanna invest in soem cuffs if you are going to try to maintain control. After our time with it, I decided they were gonna be a necessity. He was way too much to handle with that thing inside him. *lol*

    one thing tho - don't expect the penetration to be the same as it usually is - he popped way too fast, which is why i am rethinking the style of sex we have when the aneros is in play.
  • NunyaGA,

    Thanks for the heads up. He can usually go for quite some time, but I plan on preparing to hold on for one helluva (shorter) ride. Cuffs? I already have them. hehehe. I work for my county, I'm an appointed employee. Only problem, he's a Major in the military, he can take me. ha-ha. I will check into tantric though. Either way, it will be FUN!!!
  • Yeah you might have to lock him down. cuz he will try to take you.

    another possibility, is to go with vanilla for round 1, and then bring the aneros in for round 2, that way y'all are both able to mellow out and focus.

    I know for my experience, I wish we had done that, because we just had 1 night before he had to leave again, and after he popped he was done. It had been a long day for him too, but that was kind of the downside.

    On the other-hand, your situation is a bit different, because when yours comes home, he will be home for a while, hopefully.
  • artformartform
    Posts: 1,476
    Hi lynn2694 and NunyaGA

    You gals are great! Mrs. a and I have had many great adventures and session together since I got my first aneros (MGX) almost two years ago. There is a necessary solo sex aspect to this too and that can have different emotional responses at different times for each partner. But the expansion of our love-making has been astounding. My/our blog details the main developments: http://www.aneros.com/displayblog.php?id=3544

    Quickly we felt much closer physically and in every way during intercourse, and almost as quickly we started sensing the various energies blooms and flows in ourselves and between us. That is when we got both the David and Ellen Ramsdale book Sexual Energy Ecstasy: A Practical Guide To Lovemaking Secrets Of The East And West; and The Multi-Orgasmic Couple: How Couples Can Dramatically Enhance Their Pleasure, Intimacy, and Health by Mantak Chia and Maneewan Chia, Douglas Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams, M.D.

    In the Ramsdale book, in the section Nights of Tantra there is a subsection Bio-Electric Sex , pages 304-307, which we found fit very well where our bodies were taking us. This is a good example of the Slow Sex approach (see chapter in Carl Honoré's book In Praise of SLOW. This approach was recently part of the discussion in Billy11's tread: http://www.aneros.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=3735 which I highly recommend, if you haven't already read it.

    The Soul Mating dual orbits experience of these energies during slow/still/thrusting/still... intercourse, that you may well come to intuitively in exploring the tantric (and/or taoist) way, is set out in the Chia/Abrams book in description and diagram beautifully. When you fall/rise into this experience by chance or humble openess to the possibility, it is a landmark body/mind experience of your lifetime and your relationship. Happy journeys to both couples and all four adventurers! :D

    all the best to you both and to your extremely fortunate partners

    artform
  • What's a girl to do?

    One thing I've wondered is what would I tell my S.O. if he tries the Aneros and really doen't get a reaction at all? How could I encourage him or is it possible that his body won't react....at all? He gets pleasure from anal stimulation, but he's never had real anal penetration. What do you all think?
    Thanks!
  • CA25CA25
    Posts: 46
    Wow, I am so impressed with Lynn2694s posting; and the responses. Some of what she is saying reminds me of the conversations my girlfriend and I have been having recently, regarding introducing an Aneros into our sex life. We have both been curious as to how it could enhance our already great times in bed. After reading these postings I think I am going to try to find a Helix to purchase this weekend, while she is away - so I can start those solo practice sessions. These postings are very encouraging. Thanks everyone.
  • lynn2694lynn2694
    Posts: 96
    Thanks CA25. You can purchase the Helix through this site. The shipping was pretty fast actually. If I might suggest...if she enjoys anal play, get a Peridise model for her as well. The Peridise is for both men and women. I just hope you guys find pleasure in this together. That's my hope as well with the Major!!!

    Enjoy!
  • artformartform
    Posts: 1,476
    Hi lynn2694

    Another of your wonderful posts, and all the best with your own adventures in Peridise!

    lynn2694 said:

    What's a girl to do?

    One thing I've wondered is what would I tell my S.O. if he tries the Aneros and really doen't get a reaction at all? How could I encourage him or is it possible that his body won't react....at all? He gets pleasure from anal stimulation, but he's never had real anal penetration. What do you all think?
    Thanks!



    My wife and I began our time with Aneros as part of our "mutual prostate practice", fulfilling our individual desires as we expanded our love-making repertoire as new empty-nesters. Our story is in my blog here: http://www.aneros.com/displayblog.php?id=3544

    Remembering the mantra that we are all different and the rewiring process comes in unique variations, here are some thoughts in response to your questions.

    With the Major returning after so long away, it will be a highly emotional time initially and it may be better to wait for the Aneros adventure in a more relaxed time as he settles back in at home with you. Since he has not experienced anal penetration and therefore not experienced any form of prostate massage, except his medical's!, this may well take some time for initial exploration and even becoming familiar with identifying the feel of his prostate and any gentler stimulation there. Or he may happen to be wired for this right off the bat! :lol:

    If not, back to "no expectations", relax, and slowly, gently explore. His own explorations of his anus/rectum and finding his prostate with his finger and getting to know its feeling and reactions could be an important step. YOUR exploring him in the same way and his feeling the energies of you and your touch could be very key steps forward in rewiring.

    Mrs. a, early in our practice, while riding me cowgirl style one night, decided to reach back and slip her finger fully into my anus for the first time, beyond the surface anal tickling of our past approach. Immediately I experienced my first Super-O in decades, and multiples of them. The difference is that I have been a prostate massager in solo practice for decades, focused on Super-T-ing in masturbation, which also seemed to help my BPH. Yet my solo Aneros practice took some time to reach its full potential, even after that first stim by mrs. a...

    On the other hand, so to speak :wink:, it may be better to follow the generally recommended practice here of allowing the male to explore the Aneros for some time solo. With no pressure, his intuition (and yours as long as they are in harmony) on this is likely the best guide. And again, expectations, pressure, anxiety, are the things to avoid as much as possible. Humour is also a positive key.:lol: Particularly for couples going beyond their traditional range of coupling! 8)

    The Aneros adventure is best seen as a curious possibility, not a promise that just happens immediately. Really integrating that idea fully emotionally can be the challenge. The best encouragement if it seems to be taking time is for him to relax, join this Forum actively, read the Wiki and the Stickies threads, follow his intuition and have fun as the progress progresses individually and for you both.

    Also, with you progressing well with Peridise, if his conventional aneros model(s) are taking time in advancement, maybe he should also try Peridise and the peristaltic route, and see how that works for him too!

    There are many other things to experiment with as reported by many here in many of these Forum threads: external prostate massage in many forms, nipples... he has a great adventure ahead and you have together, whatever paths may appear for you both!!!

    all the very best to each of you and to you both together

    artform