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I bought the Helix for my husband, any advice....
  • Hi - I'll just explain. A couple of years ago we watched the movie Road Trip and in there the guys went to a sperm bank to donate and get some money. One of them was "taken care of" by the nurse via the prostate and he seemed very happy and couldn't stop thinking about it after that (the guy who played Stiffler on American Pie.) Do you remember the movie? I thought to myself at the time - no shit! I had never heard of anything like that to do with the prostate. So I've been looking into it ever since. I even recently bought a prostate pleaser from Adam and Eve but haven't used it yet and am now considering sending it back because one of the topics or threads or posts on here - one of you guys mentioned that you can be too rough and hurt yourself and he even bled while urinating. NOT what I want for my husband!

    My husband is o.k. with some anal touching and I've even used a small vibrator (not vibrating) on him but nothing more. I have wanted him to have the experience of a prostate orgasm ever since I saw that movie. I'm not shy about trying new things and experimenting. (I like toys, anal play, porn, mutual masterbation and I'm bi-curious.) Like one of the guys on here has said; he's not gay but if it feels good, why not!

    I told him that I bought one for him off ebay, but I couldn't really tell what he thought about it. I'm hoping that wasn't a mistake and loss of money - you know because its not a "real" Aneros from off this site - but, they are not cheap and I was afraid to spend so much money on here and then have him not have the patience or desire for it - ya know.

    I don't think he will be afraid to use it other than the admitting to liking it - you know... the whole... I'm a guy and something is up my butt and it feels good but I don't want to seem gay thing. Like I said I don't think he will be afraid to use it once he gets past that part and it starts to feel good and worth any sort of embarrassment, BUT I do think he will not like the whole enema part. He'll get past the lube but the enema I think will be a problem. Have any of you noticed whether it's better with or without? And any other suggestions you can give or advice.

    I've been poking around here on the boards and there is just SO... much information that it's damn-near overwhelming! I've read how you are all loving this thing (in all honesty - the testimonies got me so damn horny I had to get off and that's when I went onto ebay and bought the Helix that very night) and I just want his first time to go as good as possible - however good that can be.

    Thanks so much for any help and suggestions and info.

    mm's wife :wink:

    p.s. He has what I consider to be a pretty high sex drive; if that makes a difference. He masturbates every night before going to sleep and on weekends is our time for sex, which each time usually lasts around 2 hours with all that we do.
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,140

    First I should say that I'm a little confused here as you mention that you purchased something from ebay that was not a "real" Aneros and then go on to say that you have a Helix?

    If what you're speaking of is one of the several knock-off products that are on the market, it's difficult for me to advise you on its use because in my opinion....they don't work! So if you don't have an an one.

    The following comments relate to the use of the Aneros only. In general terms prostate play should be approached slowly and gently. One of the things that I like to suggest to couples is to start by introducing prostate/anal play as augmentation to their traditional sexual encounters. Remember, the Aneros is designed to be responsive to the slightest movement of one's even deep breathing can generate sensations in some individuals.

    You might start with some nice perineal massage and transition into some gentle anal massage. After him out by inserting the Aneros yourself (see sections on lubrication). From there on you can play with his penis, give him oral pleasure or engage in intercourse. All of these activities will be benefited by the Aneros' presence. You might encourage him to play with some gentle contractions as this is going on as this will intensify the magnitude of prostate stimulation. Go slow and enjoy! Remember, the Aneros is a hands-free device, it not intended to be worked in and out of the rectum like a dildo.

    With respect to the other experience (the Super O) that you may have read about around here, it is something that will require some solo time on his part to acquire. Once you've got him hooked on the traditional use of the Aneros, you might want to ask him if he's ever heard of an orgasm that lasts for minutes at a time....that he can repeat over and over again.....that encompasses his whole body! If that piques his interest.....send him over here to the forum to read up on it a bit.

    I've left out the details here about lubrication and such. If you should want more information about this and other topics check out my B's BEST OF BEELINE sticky thread at the top of the forum.

    There is a section on enemas in there that you would do well to read. Just to give it to you thumbnail though. Enemas are not strictly necessary particularly for those who are "regular" and have higher fiber diets. In such case the rectum is only full at particular times during the day, and in such cases the individual is usually aware of when those times are. For all others, an enema may make sense, particular if one is squeamish about withdrawing a discolored Aneros at the end of a session. It should be said that if one is full with waste it will hamper the mobility of the device, so an enema should be strongly considered in that event.

    If you decide to use an enema it is not necessary to do an entire colon cleansing. Check out: . The section on enemas is half-way through the thread.

    Have fun!

    BF Mayfield
  • B Mayfield,

    Thanks so much for your reply. Sorry I wasn't more clear on my description. What I meant to say was that I went on ebay, typed in Aneros and several options popped up. I decided on a seller that had a good reputation and I bid on and bought one of the Aneros Helixs' that they were selling (the same seller has one up for bid under item #300200782199 right now - along with the other styles. I would love to hear your opinion on what they are offering and if you think the Aneros' they are selling are legit and not a knock-off.) It wasn't until I signed up for the forum last night that I noticed the mention of knock-offs. Needless to say, I'm hoping I've got the real thing coming in the mail. By saying "real" Aneros from off this site, I just meant that because if you get it from here you know it's the "real" deal and now I'm wondering and worrying about the one from ebay. Hard learning lesson huh?! ***sigh***

    Thanks for your information and more places to look for more information. I was under the impression from some of the guys that you just don't touch your penis - that it's kinda off limits until your session is done. It will be nice to bring that into our sex life. You've got a ton of information and the nice thing about it is that it is very honest and straight forward. I like that. Thank you.

    One question... I've noticed some of the guys saying how they well... make noise or are loud during their session; is that pretty typical? We have two boys and I just wouldn't want him to wake them up and there just isn't any or much time that my husband is home that I and our two boys aren't. I know it sounds silly but it is a concern for me.

    Oh, and one last concern, that may sound silly but... You all seem to love this thing SO... much, that I guess I worry that it will replace me. I mean, :oops: my vagina doesn't have any special tricks. It can't do what the Aneros can. I just (shrugging my shoulders) worry about that he'll like that better than me. :shock: Does that sound silly?

    Thanks for your time and input.

    mm's wife
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,492
    Hi musicman’s wife,

    You may have read my post about injury to the prostate caused by a too vigorous massage. This is a very real danger with ANY device that is externally manipulated. One of the nice features of the Aneros device is that it is designed to be used completely hands free – NO external manipulation. This has the benefit of assuring that the user has complete control of the intensity of his massage action and the knowledge that it is virtually impossible for him to injure himself through use of his internal musculature. Additionally, being hands free, it means he can simultaneously use his hands to touch, tickle, stroke, caress, massage and tease you during lovemaking and likewise you need not be worried about accidentally injuring him while your hands are free to reciprocate his attentions.

    As usual, you got some excellent advice from BF Mayfield, in his post above. I would add these suggestions in order to make the experience even more enjoyable for the two of you. After a suitable rectal flush and before inserting the Aneros and before the techniques mentioned by BF above, the two of you might enjoy a nice sensual shower together. While washing each other pay a little extra attention to cleaning, massaging and fondling his butt. This will not only be arousing to him but it will also increase blood circulation to the area, energizing all those nerves around his anus to wake up. Just before you jump in the shower together, put the Aneros and your lube in a bowl of hot water so they are nicely warmed up for the coming adventure.

    P.S. Don’t worry about the Aneros replacing you, there is absolutely no way that a piece of plastic can be more enjoyable for a man than a loving woman in his life! As regards the vocalizations, if your husband was not very vocal before he probably won’t be more so now and if he is just have him move his mouth to the natural muffler you have between the tops of you thighs.
  • to musicmans wife...

    i doubt in any way he might find this a replacement ...quite the contrary for wifey and me..its opened up some new experiences...she now enjoys watching and playing too...luckly for us we both like anal play..that helps...maybe you we're refering to one of my posts cause i'm adamant about men enjoying anal play is not gay...i've been married 23 years and have loved it the whole time..

    me gay? pffttt ..hell no..just try what we've been doing recenltly in the 2 months i've had my progasm and i lay on my back..knees up feet flat and start my session with her on the bed too...her positioned opposite of me , head near my feet watching me as i can watch her...she plays with a vibe or dildo in her pussy or preferably in her ass...watching each other...her watching me get the thigh watching her get off on her toys...these sessions always led to intercourse either vaginally or anally...very great...visuals on both parts just dictates it...but..for him to fully learn about this new experience..let him have some alone time with it to truly experience what he can feel with it...make sense?
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,140
    MM's wife,

    With regard to your vagina and new tricks, don't worry about this. I don't think there's a guy alive that would turn down a vagina for a piece of plastic (no matter how nifty it is), especially when there is a loving relationship to go along with it! Besides, this is about augmenting your encounters together anyway.

    With respect to making a racket while playing with ones Aneros, this is probably more of concern for sessions that are devoted to exploring the Super O. In such cases individuals have been known to have some rather powerful involuntary vocalizations. That said, there are many who are loud during traditional encounters as well. Having a pillow nearby is advisable in all cases.

    As you observed there is a lot of information to be had here. Take your time and look through it. There many helpful users here to answer any questions that you might have. You can post question here or send a P.M to any of those who respond as well. There is also a SEARCH function that will allow you to look for specific areas of interest in the archived material.

    I also wanted to mention that I would whole-heartedly endorse Evil-Zombie's suggestion. As a matter of fact I had written something on this myself sometime ago that I posted to my B's BEST OF BEELINE thread (see below). Visual stimulation is a very powerful way to amp up arousal.....have fun with this.


    There is a great deal about the Aneros experience that can be shared by a man with a woman. It is true that perfecting a technique for achieving this Super O requires a guy to initially spend some time by himself. The reason for this is that it takes a certain amount of time, experimentation, and discipline to get in touch with the new sensations that will lead you to this place. However, after a short period of time, the participation of partner can be tremendously arousing. I can tell you that I have had numerous Super Orgasms while giving my partner oral pleasure. She's has even had her own very intense orgasms at nearly the same moment. I have discussed this with her, and she has told me, that there are 3 things that seem to make it happen for her, 1) my lingual efforts on her behalf which she has described as 'crazed,' 2) her hearing, and seeing my ecstasy, and 3) a transfer of energy between us (much as described in tantra teachings).

    In this way, I absolutely do believe the Aneros has created greater intimacy between us. Furthermore, we have both found that the sex lasts longer, with more orgasms for her (really for us both), since the activities don't just end abruptly, the way they used to as soon as I had had a penile orgasm. The penile orgasm is no longer the climax of our encounters but simply another item on our sexual menu. Putting the Super Orgasm aside, the addition of the Aneros into our sex life has created greater intensity when we have intercourse as well. As my partner puts it “you really get animated when you have that thing in you”. Animated indeed! In addition, on occasion my wife likes to actually watch me ejaculate, and with the Aneros in place she usually gets quite a show.

    I believe that the physical and emotional experience of sharing sexual sensations is what intimacy is all about. And the Aneros stimulator has enabled US to discover many new sensations to share!

    For the ladies: as I’ve said so many times before, arousal is an essential element for generating the Super O. A willing partner can be used for other forms of stimulation that further intensify arousal. Methods such as nipple licking, tugging or biting, ear lobe licking, caressing the upper body, etc. The general criteria are that whatever it is, it must NOT involve direct or indirect stimulation of his genitalia and it MUST NOT be distracting in any way. These of course are subjective elements, so add to taste. Also remember that these sessions MUST be focused on HIM, so you must remove the expectation completely that he must reciprocate for you (for the time that is devoted to exploring the Super O).

    In my own case, I like looking at and touching my partner's vagina while I am using the Aneros. Sometimes, I insert a finger into her anus and leave it there while I am having the Super Orgasm experience, in this way, as my body goes through spasms she is able to have a “first hand” experience of her own as I tremble and shake. Sometimes staring at her anus allows me to focus on the sensations that I'm having in my anus. Other times I watch her masturbate to an orgasm while my face is in close proximity….again, visual, auditory and olfactory stimulation (sight, sound and smell) are all excellent sources of arousal. Use them!

    BF Mayfield
  • right on ..B deciding to get the 2 aneros i have has just ramped up our sex life tremendously..was great..i'd say above average for couples our 47 her 45...but i give the most credit to my sexy wife for being so open to trying new things to keep it from getting stale and mundane...

    i still wanna go the strap-on route but oh well..i'm happy as things her just being cool enough to wanna watch me play as i watch her is like a sexual dream come true...understand that some women might be put off by things we do but..they're missing out...

    as you mentioned...having her lick and play with ur nipples or caress ur balls while ur doing contractions just elevates ur super-o's when we play together never gets that needing to couple takes over..

    to musicmans wife...enjoy this together..let it be a nice journey for both of you..
  • Rumel - lol on my natural muffler! lol - no problem with that! Bring it on! Thanks also for the vote of confidence on me not being replaceable. :wink:

    Evil-zombie - hi, my name is musicman's wife and I'm a kinkoholic! (The only thing I'm not into is voyerism.) We have also been doing what you and your wife are doing where we are opposite of each other; my feet by his head and vise versa. I like putting on a show and knowing he's watching and getting off on it - it turns me on too. That is about the extent of my voyerism. During the week he goes to bed at 9 and he needs to be up and out the door by 4:30 a.m. for a 10 hour day. From what I understand about the time needed to explore the aneros (and then once you get the hang of it, the damn-near inability to quit a session...) would he need a earlier bed time? LOL

    I will freely admit that it will not be easy to not be included in the whole adventure. We are both 37 (38 this year), we met at 19, married at 23 (15 years this year) and have been together and done everything together ever since. E-Z, it does make sense, I'm just greedy and don't want to give up my time with him on the weekends. He's my only close friend where we live (I grew up in a different town, we live in the town where he grew up), and to give up any of that contact time we have on the weekends will be a lot for me. Just trying to be honest.

    Evil-zombie - I've also gotta agree with you on the whole being open to experimenting thing. I also do not think that some people (men and/or women) are willing to think outside the box (no pun intended - LMAO!) I have a friend who was dating a guy and when they had sex he sweated and it grossed her out - to me... that means we had a damn good time!!! LOL She also "caught" him masturbating one time and that grossed her out also. Whereas, I love watching my husband masturbate! I will say there is a difference between when he's just enjoying the feeling and when he means business - his whole body language is different and the look on his face and how he breathes and how his muscles in his body work (arms, belly, chest) - to me it is fascinating and a HUGE turn-on. Thank you sir! may I have another!!! :twisted: Ditto to the strap-on :P (but that would be for me with another woman.)

    B Mayfield, Couples: Her Benefits, For the Ladies paragraph... In that one paragraph it states that it must not involve direct or indirect touching of his genitalia... but, in your first reply you had said that once inserted I could play with him or perform oral sex or intercourse. Sorry if I sound like a broken record but... is the being able to play with him with the Aneros- after he does some personal experimenting OR is it o.k. right away. I'm just trying to understand, get my ducks in a row and know what is the right progression of things before we get it in the mail (cuz, God knows - the curiosity factor will be up there!)

    Thanks for the info, candid talk and laughs you guys! If I'm not back on... have a good, fun, enjoyable weekend!

    mm's wife

    p.s. He typically likes to have a couple Windsor Cokes Fri & Sat - do you think he'll need to give that up? Just something else I had read on here. What're you guys' experiences.
  • evil-zombieevil-zombie
    Posts: 172
    to musicmans wife...

    he may find that when your together playing is more enjoyable for him while using the new aneros..espically if hes getting to watch u also..i know i love that...since you say it's mainly on the week-ends that you score together..a couple nights a week he should prolly go to bed and experiment some before going to sleep..i don't go for these 3 and 4 hour things thats posted hour or so is plenty for me alone...i also don't quite agree that you not touching his cock and balls when your both together with him having it in is a bad wife is amazed when watching me after she fondles me a lil getting it hard while i'm doing contractions that my cock will stand straight up and throb..just go at this like any of your other sexual things ya'll do and do what feels best for both of you..

    personally my sessions with her watching always end up with her mounting me..climbing on cow-girl and riding me wildly..she says she can feel my dick throb in her as i'm doing contactions while we're scoring...if you can stand it..let him have an hour or so maybe twice a week to try it by himself...later..kinkoholic also...zombie :twisted:
  • B MayfieldB Mayfield
    Posts: 2,140
    musicman said:

    B Mayfield, Couples: Her Benefits, For the Ladies paragraph... In that one paragraph it states that it must not involve direct or indirect touching of his genitalia... but, in your first reply you had said that once inserted I could play with him or perform oral sex or intercourse. Sorry if I sound like a broken record but... is the being able to play with him with the Aneros- after he does some personal experimenting OR is it o.k. right away. I'm just trying to understand, get my ducks in a row and know what is the right progression of things before we get it in the mail (cuz, God knows - the curiosity factor will be up there!)

    What I was getting at is that there are two distinct approaches here. The first is what I call the traditional approach. This involves stimulation that generates arousal that is geared around ejaculation. The second involves the alternate (non-ejaculatory) pathway, where the goal is exploration of the Super O (the non-ejaculatory whole-body orgasm). Penile stimulation is doable in the first approach, but not in the second. Bear in mind, that the first method utilizes the Aneros....right out of the box with no real training required. The second method normally require some solo time where a guy can get in touch with some new and different ways of generating sensation.


    p.s. if you're so disposed to stap-ons...check out the Feeldoe. (a strapless strap-on designed by women for girl-girl action), however, it can be used for boy-girl action as well.
  • musicmanmusicman
    Posts: 47
    EZ - since I've been on last time, he has now gotten his Helix and tried it several times. No luck really so far though. On Sunday (16th) he said he was going to go and lay down (I thought that meant to go and take a nap...) well... when I went in to wake him up for dinner he was awake and practicing. So I asked him if it was doing anything for him and he said he didn't know. I waited a minute or two and asked him something else and he said "God! this must be what it's like for you to have to try so hard to get off!" LMAO! He just said it was tough trying to find that just right spot and concentrate on it. He said he felt like he needed to be in a "Zen-like" state. ?????

    Well... I will say maybe he's been having a hard time cuz, he hasn't had all the necessities to make the journey easier. I looked everywhere I could think of for a lubrication syringe for him (instead of buying it off here and paying for shipping, etc...); I went to Target, Wal-Mart, Walgreens, ShopKo, my local pharmacy - no luck! So I just got done ordering some of the pre-filled ones and a fillable syringe and the enema thing. So, maybe he'll have better luck after he can do it right. I also told him that I read about some of the guys on here having no luck for, heck, even two months! So... not to worry. I don't want him to give up just because it's not coming to him easily.

    I do figure that there must be something intriguing going on there because I don't know if he would even be trying it a little if there wasn't some something happening - you know?!

    Anyway, that's about all I can fill you guys in on for right now. I'm just happy he's trying.

    B Mayfield - thanks for the additional information! They (whoever they are) say that there is never a stupid question! lol Thanks for the info on the Feeldoe - I have heard of them and seen them also - even have a couple of fantasies :oops: :wink: (I've never been w/another woman, only fantasized about it. I think that would be one hell of an experience! Doubt it will ever happen though. Sigh.) I'm pretty sure my hubby wouldn't be into that at all (even though... I think it could be pretty hot and a big turn-on.)

    Oh! and B - I also believe that the Helix that I got off ebay is the real deal - I found another topic/thread on here and some of the guys were comparing their models and on their models (on the tab) it said Made in USA, Patent and HIH (?) (I don't remember if these are the right initials) but, all the information they gave matched on the Helix I bought my hubby. So... I feel relieved, but I think if we do buy any other models, we will buy them from here just for the peace of mind.

    Thanks all, have a fun, safe, and Happy St. Patrick's Day :D
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,492
    musicman’s wife,

    Between your previous post and today’s post a major new information resource has been made available to the Aneros community – the new WIKI, if at all possible, I strongly urge you to get your hubby to start reading through that material. It won’t guarantee that he will suddenly find the direct route to his first Super-O, but it will certainly expedite his learning curve.
    As far as the time line goes, his two months of use without significant results is not unusual, there have been members that have gone more than two years before experiencing a Super-O and they have all said the wait was worth it!
    I wish the WIKI had been available sooner for you as you could have found in the WIKI ( )“Getting Started” – ‘Pre-lubrication’ section : “One method of pre-lubricating involves obtaining an infant medicine dropper, available from your neighborhood drugstore.”
    Also, for you, check out the “Women Too” page in the WIKI, and maybe drop a few hints to your female friends to read it so they can spice things up between their romantic partners. :wink:
  • musicmanmusicman
    Posts: 47
    Rumel, thanks for the reply - with regards to the two months I just meant that some guys on here have had no success in that length of time. My hubby has only had his maybe ~~~ two weeks ??? I just meant for him to not worry. As for the WIKI I will go and check it out. I don't exactly know what a WIKI is (if it IS something specific or an abreviation of something) - sorry - I'm not very computer savvy. I will get my hubby to go on a check it out. I think he is getting more intrigued and I think getting the rest of the necessities he needs to make this work will help him. As for the infant medicine dropper - like I said, I looked all over for one. I knew what I was looking for and no luck (I could find droppers/syringes just fine; it was with the included extension thing that I couldn't find.) So I just ordered the one that was available through the Aneros site. Thanks again for the reply and the info on WIKI. I'll go and check it out.

    mm's wife
  • OH!!OH!!
    Posts: 260
    Hi MM's wife. Sounds like you are a really fun, cool woman. A great wife for any man. I wish my wife were as interested and fun as you. Maybe some day. Here are some of my answers to your questions:

    You mentioned concern over the enema and lube. I used the swear the enema was required but I have learned it seems to not make lot of difference. B Mayfield went through some of the details. Basically a person is fairly empty inside the rectum after a bowel movement if they are as B describes. Maybe wait an hour or so afterward and clean off with a wet wash rag externally. I purchased that Holiday Special that came with some type of enema and it works ok, but I don't use it much lately unless for some reason I feel it is required. I then sometimes use a syringe to inject some lub into my anus. Anywhere from 1 to 2 syringes, and then I lube the Aneros. Actually lately I often don't even use the syringe. I just lube the Aneros. I've found it is VERY important what lube you use. It is better to have a fairly thick liquid. Not like a cream, but almost. I use only water based lubes that contain no glycerine. They work great. Currently I am using Liquid Silk.

    Note you have and are trying the Helix, but you might try another model as well such as the MGX. I use both of them and believe it or not you actually get a different experience. I can't wait to try the Progasm and Eupho, but am too busy having orgasms with what I have to order them. :lol: Anyway where the P-tab hits his perineum makes a difference. Or, perhaps it isn't hitting it. New project for you two...find the perineum sweet spot.

    As for not touching his B Mayfield mentioned there are 2 different approaches. One is conventional sex with the Aneros and the other is the hands free - Super O route. I think you can probably have lots of fun conventional wise with the Aneros; however why not explore tantric sex and hands free for each of you? Learn to have orgasms just by flexing the pc muscles etc. I have been having some orgasmic waves as I am typing this. I had an Aneros session earlier today that got ended, and have continued without the Aneros. Once you get used to the sensations and the locations of these sensations you can to some degree bring about orgasms at will. If you read post by Zaneblue you will see that you can become that way too. You can then explore various Tantric orgasms and levels of sex and intimacy. I've done that with my wife. I was inside her but we didn't move for 30 minutes or so. We both started orgasming and I was able to because I had learned how with my Aneros even though it wasn't in at the time.

    Noise? Most of the time I'm not too loud. During normal sex I don't think I am too loud. But I will state for the record that there have been a couple (at least) of super O sessions where I was very loud. I am now afraid people in the street or neighbors next door may have heard me. A bit embarrasing. I try and not be loud. Those particular times I really couldn't help it. If that happens with the two of you ...use the 'muffler'. :D

    As far as not being interested in your Vagina anymore...unless he somehow turns only gay and not bi I'd say you have no problem. I'm straight and just adore women and particularly their vagina's. If he loses interest then come find me. Actually I have found that hands free Super O sessions with the Aneros since I don't ejaculate typically and typically have no refractory period then I usually after a session have a heightened interest in sex and females in particular. So he just might be chasing you around. Note I said typically, because sometimes I do ejaculate with the Aneros hands free...but not often.

    You say he is having a tough time, but it has only been a couple weeks. Yes. It does take awhile to get used to it. Before ever using the Aneros a few times over the years I had experimented with anal play and masturbation. Not a lot, but just enough to get an idea. Actually I had a bad experience when I first used the Aneros. I believe I was numb for a week or so. That went away, and apparently I was being massively rewired. So, tell him to stick with it and be patient. Maybe you can experiment with playing with his prostate using your finger and also his perineum. I would like that. Haven't gotten the courage to ask the wife yet. :lol:
  • musicmanmusicman
    Posts: 47
    OH!!, thanks so much for the reply! WOW - lots to take in! LOL Just give your wife a chance, you never know what she'll accept or even come up with :shock: :twisted: Us women can have dirty, twisted little minds too :shock: :wink: LOL

    I will have to go and look for the Liquid Silk, I thought that that was made by KY - so I just figured that was glycerine based too. Good to know! I have learned so much on here! I like anal play too (like I've said earlier in my post) but I would say we only have "sex" maybe twice a year. It always seemed like I would feel sick after - so the next time it would come up, I'd remember that and kinda shy away. Maybe the whole time it was the glycerine making me not feel so good! (you use a lot more lube for anal sex than you do for anal play!)

    Why do you think the MGX? Just curious. Oh and OH!! does how tall a man is make a difference to which style of Aneros, where, how it works with his body? My hubby is 6' tall and 155#. I don't know if he's tried to find his sweet spot or not but, I did read about it the other night on the WIKI (yup, I checked it out!) and it gave pretty good directions on how to find it. Maybe tonight - wink, wink.

    We did talk a little bit on Wednesday about him using the Helix and I had asked him if he's tried having it in at the end of a session and getting off and he said yeah, but that it didn't seem to be any different or better. ????? Is that usual too? I kinda thought it would make some difference that way, but maybe that needs to be a work in process too.

    It would be nice if Zaneblue was willing to talk - I posted to a topic she just started, maybe she'll share some ideas. That was pretty awsome about your having sex with your wife and both orgasming just from being together and no movement. Did she learn something from Zane too?

    LMAO - thanks for the confidence in my vagina! LOL As for my hubby being bi; as far as I know he's not. That would be totally new. As for experiementing with his prostate - I honestly wouldn't know where to begin (I mean, how would I even know I'm even touching it!) and I would even be afraid that I would hurt him.

    If anything, this is something to be explored and learn from and it just adds one more dimension to our sex lives. It's fun to be adventurous! (The only thing I'm not into is voyerism - I'm 5'1", 25 pounds overweight, with stretch marks and a c-section scar; say no more. ***sigh***)

    Anway, thanks much! I'm looking forward to getting my package from Aneros in the mail. I'm hoping it will get here today or tomorrow at the latest.

    mm's wife
  • musicmanmusicman
    Posts: 47
    I got the package in the mail (of the prefilled lube things and the syringe and the cleaner) on Friday, but didn't have a chance to use it till Saturday morning.

    Our two boys stayed overnight at G&G's on Friday so Saturday when we woke up it was just us. I had planned to help him have the best session possible on Saturday. I had thought to start right away when we first woke up, but then thought about it and it didn't make sense. You always have to go the bathroom when you first wake up, and then your usually hungry... etc... So, we got up and I made breakfast and then we hung-out for a little while watching t.v. and then while he was still relaxed, I took the remote for the t.v., turned it off, and took his hand and led him to the bedroom.

    Then I told him to lay down and close his eyes. I started to caress him and just help him to relax even more. Not long after I started, I remembered the pre-filled lube things were out in the kitchen so I told him to just relax and think naughty thoughts, but when I came back in he was masturbating! So I chastised him a little - I said "quit that, you can't do that!, it'll ruin the results!" lol. (Then I quick put on a pair of skimpy panties, thigh high stockings and a bra for his brain to imagine and his hand to play with.) So, then I went back to caressing him and just touching him everywhere BUT his penis while he touched me, making sure he kept his eyes closed. After about 10 minutes or so (after holding the lube thing in my one hand to warm it up), I slowly moved him into position and injected the lube and then the Helix. All the while just caressing him. After it was in, I turned him on his left side and tucked him in under the covers (it was cold in our bedroom!)

    I have got to say - that was one of the best, most liberating, sexual, heartening moments in our marriage to me. That he trusted me so much to just let me take over and take care of him. I can't even really describe how I feel. It was just...... so..... wow cool!

    Once he was settled in, I went to the side he was facing and just layed by him and let him keep touching me if he wanted. He did :D . I just told him to relax and I kept an eye on the time. After 20 min, I told him to roll onto his back and put his feet flat on the bed. Then I just layed there quite and waited. I don't know how long it took, not too long. The first thing I noticed was just him shaking a little, almost very subtly vibrating. And his legs would shake or twitch. I didn't know if that was the Aneros and rewiring or just his legs getting fatigued from staying still. But then I also noticed a little spot on the left side of his upper lip that was twitching like crazy! That happened about 3-4 times. Then he would take a deep breath and it would quit. Then it seemed like he had to start over again. Does that sound right? I suppose each persons journey is different huh?

    I wish that the covers hadn't been on him so that I could have seen the whole physical reaction picture both because of my curiousity factor, but also to report to you guys. Everyone that comes on here shares so much of their journey and feelings and their process that, (I know my husband won't come on here and post like that, it's not his style, but) I want to share for him in this way too.

    Anyway, when I could tell that he was feeling something, it was a HUGE turn-on! And, yes, I did get off while I watched him! I couldn't take it anymore! Him playing with me and then reacting to the Aneros was too much! I couldn't resist.

    The one thing that he did say, was that it felt like he was getting close (close to an O? Super O???) and then it would just go poof and away. He did say that he felt that that was frustrating to get so close and then --- gone. I told him that that was just part of the process and part of the learning and to enjoy it for what it is/was and build on it.

    Anyway, I've probably typed enough and can't really think of anything more. Thanks all! Take care and have a good week!

    mm's wife

    p.s. Does his height make a difference on the style of Aneros? He's 6 feet tall and has the Helix, is there another style that would work good with his height and/or another style that would NOT work good for his height (so we don't ever buy that one.) Thanks! wife
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,492
    musicman’s wife

    The session you just described sounded absolutely wonderful, thoughtful, loving and encouraging. Great approach! Keep with that technique and I'm confident that your husband will coss-over soon.
    From your description of events, it sounds like your husband experienced several mini-O’s, with characteristic build-up of pleasure waves which wil eventually lead him to the Super-O.

    The “poof” factor upon orgasmic build-up is not a rare occurrence; it has been experienced by most Aneros users on numerous occasions, a totally normal experience. This is partly why Aneros sessions can take so long, there is a cyclic nature to the pleasure wave build-up process. Patience is necessary to ride through and along with each cycle of pleasure waves as they gradually increase in strength. After enough cycles have transpired he will cross-over to the Super-O and you may not get the smile off his face for weeks!

    The only Aneros model that may not work well for your man is the SGX, as that is designed for men of smaller stature (under 5’-7” height).
  • OH!!OH!!
    Posts: 260
    musicman said:

    OH!!, thanks so much for the reply! WOW - lots to take in! LOL Just give your wife a chance, you never know what she'll accept or even come up with :shock: :twisted: Us women can have dirty, twisted little minds too :shock: :wink: LOL

    Yeah, yesterday I mentioned I was thinking of buying one. I talked about the benefits of prostate massage...which is true and important. She thought it was interesting, but kind of weird. Guess it is a lot to get used to. I mentioned it to her as I'll probably order the Progasm and Eupho. Can't hide much from her. I could only hope for dirty twisted mind...but her interest in sex has waned for some time. Perhaps I need to somehow introduce Zanes book to her. One of these days I will. Perhaps a present.

    musicman said:

    I will have to go and look for the Liquid Silk, I thought that that was made by KY - so I just figured that was glycerine based too. Good to know! I have learned so much on here! I like anal play too (like I've said earlier in my post) but I would say we only have "sex" maybe twice a year. It always seemed like I would feel sick after - so the next time it would come up, I'd remember that and kinda shy away. Maybe the whole time it was the glycerine making me not feel so good! (you use a lot more lube for anal sex than you do for anal play!)

    Forbidden Fruit has a lot of lubes:

    musicman said:

    Why do you think the MGX? Just curious. Oh and OH!! does how tall a man is make a difference to which style of Aneros, where, how it works with his body? My hubby is 6' tall and 155#. I don't know if he's tried to find his sweet spot or not but, I did read about it the other night on the WIKI (yup, I checked it out!) and it gave pretty good directions on how to find it. Maybe tonight - wink, wink.

    Just because I currently use the Helix and MGX. They both are really different. One may trigger a response when the other doesn't. The MGX pushes harder on the perineum, and a bit deeper and harder on the prostate I believe also. The Helix tends to really move and vibrate a bit faster though it seems. Both will do some AMAZING things. I am over 6 feet. Height may have difference. For instance Aneros makes a model for shorter Asian men ( I forget the name). The real issue is likely the distance of his sweet spot of perenium from the anal opening. Perhaps there is a little difference internally as far as placement of prostate too, but that is likely a question for Aneros manufacturer and designer. Have fun finding it. I can have orgasms just from pressing and holding it for some time although to really orgasm hard or even ejaculate will likely take over an hour. I take turns lying on different sides in bed at night while pressing. Not many have tried this but it works for me. Also the other pressure point that the Progasm hits on the other side of the anus also drives me crazy though the sensations are different. I feel that one most in my butt cheeks and lower back / spine...delicious. Keep in mind that Zane informs me that women have a sweet spot further up toward their back. You follow the butt crack up from the anus toward the small of the lower back. Feel around and you will find it. Hold it and it will do things for you. It is called the 'sacred spot'. I did it to my wife and seemed it was making her cum - though she didn't know that's what I was doing. I was actually doing it by instinct before I knew thats what it was.

    musicman said:

    We did talk a little bit on Wednesday about him using the Helix and I had asked him if he's tried having it in at the end of a session and getting off and he said yeah, but that it didn't seem to be any different or better. ????? Is that usual too? I kinda thought it would make some difference that way, but maybe that needs to be a work in process too.

    Not sure what you are specifically asking. Have him try some sessions by himself hands free that aren't at the end of a sexual encounter so he isn't worn out. Have him load up on Gingseng, vit e, calcium, magnesium, zinc, highly concentrated, highly purified fish oil, ginko biloba, and dark chocolate. When I load my body with those things on low caffein and fairly low carb it really intensifies things. He has to learn how these new sensations are though just like women have to learn how and the completely different sensations of a vaginal versus clitoral orgasm. This takes time, patience, willingness to experiment, an open mind to something really different, as well as inner awareness and familiarity with your own body and it's sensations.

    musicman said:

    It would be nice if Zaneblue was willing to talk - I posted to a topic she just started, maybe she'll share some ideas. That was pretty awsome about your having sex with your wife and both orgasming just from being together and no movement. Did she learn something from Zane too?

    I haven't put her in touch with Zane or her book, yet. I will eventually. I've actually kind of started her on the diet without her knowing it. Unfotunately from lack of organization she often forgets to take the fish oil. But I will continue to stress the need to fish oil, and dark chocolate. :twisted: :D

    But yeah, I learned that technique from a tantric sex site. It is different, but good.

    musicman said:

    LMAO - thanks for the confidence in my vagina! LOL As for my hubby being bi; as far as I know he's not. That would be totally new. As for experiementing with his prostate - I honestly wouldn't know where to begin (I mean, how would I even know I'm even touching it!) and I would even be afraid that I would hurt him.

    If you are gentle you won't hurt him with proper lube. I believe the wiki discusses it's placement. If he is standing I understand it is 2 or 3 inches inside (walnut shaped) and would be on the side towards the ground. Insert your finger and make a gentle downward curl of your finger almost like you are scratching the spot. If he was lying on his back and you were to top of him it would be a 'come here' motion. Similar I hear to the way it would be done for women to massage their g spot.

    musicman said:

    If anything, this is something to be explored and learn from and it just adds one more dimension to our sex lives. It's fun to be adventurous! (The only thing I'm not into is voyerism - I'm 5'1", 25 pounds overweight, with stretch marks and a c-section scar; say no more. ***sigh***)

    Yep, it can be fun.

    musicman said:

    Anway, thanks much! I'm looking forward to getting my package from Aneros in the mail. I'm hoping it will get here today or tomorrow at the latest.

    mm's wife

    Ok, I look forward to hearing any juicy sexual results. :D
  • OH!!OH!!
    Posts: 260
    Wow, just read about you and your hubby's session. Great work! You really took care of him and told him the right things. You really are a great wife! It's kick ass that you had a great time.

    You are correct, the more you do it the more his reaction will be. It took awhile for my super O's but I definitely enjoyed all the journey's to the first one. It's also almost like every session is different, and your body's reaction is a bit different and new each time too. Kind of has to do with your current sexual energy. Oh yeah, make sure you are well rested (plenty of sleep) when you do your sessions. That helps the brain and body recharge.

    I forget how long it took for my first Super O. Maybe a month. I thought I had one at first, but then read when it happens you can't imagine anything being more intense or a higher level or that your body could take more. That's when I realized I hadn't yet, but that came eventually too. It will happen to your hubby just keep him on the path. Most likely soon, you won't have to encourage him as he'll be seeking it out.

    At the same time you can try Zanes book and develop your orgasmic prowess. The two of you will be on a dream tantric trip of cool. Best of luck.

    PS: Let me add that most of my sessions are at least an hour. That's typically the minimum time before I have a super O. Sometimes it takes two. Often I have sessions from 1 to even 4 hours. A few times I have put in 8!! I am VERY worn out after those. Personally I think it is a form of aerobic exercise because your body is twitching and quivering so much similar to what you'd get with one of those electric muscle stimulators. I believe it will help build decent muscle tone such as in the abdomen and legs / thighs / buttocks. It will do more if you use it in more positions requiring more physical strength. Oh PSPS. My fav position is on my back with a small pillow under my buttocks / small of my back and my legs propped up somewhat vertically such as on the side of a bed or low chest of drawers. Something about that position really works. My next fav would be on all fours, or knees and elbows. Try those!
  • musicmanmusicman
    Posts: 47
    Rumel - really?! he had mini-O's?! WOO-HOO! That's pretty damn cool! I am so excited about this whole process! I can't wait to send him to bed early tonight!!! lol

    I forgot to say that from very beginning to end; I'd have to say it went for 2 hours? maybe a little longer. Not 100% sure.

    OH!! (sorry I can't seem to figure out how to quote on here) - what I meant when I talked about him having the Helix in at the end of a session and no different - I was talking that, he had a session, took however long he took, and that when he finally decided to quit for the night, he masturbated to cuming with the Aneros in and that he said it didn't really seem to make a difference. But, from what I read on here, everyone says it just makes them cum harder and have more ejaculate. ?????

    OH!!, there can be so many things that play a part in a womans sex drive. Honestly, countless! Just to give you a few. (I don't know you or her age) If she is 40+, she could be starting perimenopause (yes, that early!) and that can play with hormone levels; typically right before a womans period (at least a solid week before) hormone levels are low so, not too interested then either; if she is truly not happy with her body or weight - BIG, HUGE mental block there!, if we are having problems in our relationship, we just can't seem to turn our brains off and make thoughts go away, they continue to bug and pick and jab at us till we say something or we back off emotionally. It's kindof a survival thing for our feelings. If we feel emotionally not connected, we also don't feel physically connected. For us, the two are intertwined. Yeah, we can be a complicated bunch! I will freely admit that! LMAO, hell, there are times that I don't understand me! Oh, and OH!! there can always be medical things going on too. I have hypothyroidism and when I tried some new different medicine for it, it messed things up and my libido was screwed up for about a year! It's been just in the last 2 months or so that it's gotten back on track! REALLY!

    This is meant just for information and food for thought for anyone. They say a way to a mans heart is through his stomach, well the way to or away from a womans heart is through actions, not words. For all, think about how you act more than what you say. That tells us women more than you think. You can say you love us and we're the only one for you till your blue in the face, but if you never give us affection and all you can do is look at the hot neighbor chick down the street.... well.... that gives us the real answer. We are readers of body language and facial expressions. That is how we are wired.

    Just as an experiment, when walking past your wife or girlfriend, and their back is to you, just come up from behind wrap your arms around her middle and give her a nice hug (no breast touching), kiss her neck and then walk away. I can almost guarantee you, she will be watching you walk away and with a small smile on her face! (I would suggest when she's not in rush or trying to get the kids off to school and/or she's gotta be out the door in 5 minutes! - maybe if she's just standing there, looking at a magazine or paper - when she's basically relaxed and mellow.)

    Another example - just after Christmas my hubby came home and said "here - I've got something for you" - I said to him, "what's this for? Christmas is done" - he didn't really say anything, just stood there while I unwrapped a heavy flat piece of metal with a metal pole sticking out of it (he is a machinist.) Well, after I took the cloth off - on it he machined the name of our dog that we had to have put to sleep a couple of years back. I bawled my eyes out!!! My dog and I were extremely close, but he hated her. Even though he hated her, he thought of me and knew I was still missing her and hadn't had anything to really mark her grave by. He didn't really physically say anything, but by his actions I knew he loved me and was thinking of me, my heart and my feelings. To me that little nameplate is more precious than any piece of jewelry he could have given me, because he thought of me and took his time to make it for me. Simple but elegant.


    OH!! thanks so much for the website for the liquid silk - I will definitely be going on there!
    Thanks also for the MGX info, I'm already thinking of buying him another model - just to see what happens, but I don't know if it's too soon. ????? Maybe give it a month or so.

    Sacred spot?! Ohhhh, that does sound interesting!!! I went and founds Zanes book on Amazon (but I didn't know if there was a difference between the paperback or hard cover) so I didn't order it yet, but I'm planning on it! I already went on and ordered what Zane says is the equivalent of the Aneros for women. I can't wait to get it and start my training! I will have to feel around for the sweet spot - is it subtle or do I have to press kinda hard? I wonder, would it be easier if my hubby did it or me? Huh, interesting! I am learning so much here!

    You sneaky bugger! Starting you wife on Zanes diet! lol - you know what though - what the heck, if its healthy ~ what's the harm in it?! Go for it I say!

    As for what the prostate feels like, :oops: well, we did something akin to that on Friday and I think I found it. I think he thought it felt good too. :twisted: I wouldn't mind doing it again if he liked it. Friday night was all sorts of good fun!

    Thanks for the new positions to try, I'll keep it in mind for next time! Do you change positions much during a session or pretty much stick to one way a session.

    Thanks and take care and have a good week!

    mm's wife
  • Musicman really has no idea how lucky he is to have such an open minded and loving wife like you....I'm so jealous right now its not funny!

    My GF(of 7 years) knows I have them, berated me for spending the cash to get them, doesnt want to touch it or use on or with me...same as my Fleshlight...says it makes her feel "weird"...I am so completely blown away that couples can do that for each other....I heartily wish mine would.....

    Please continue with your updates, have read all of them and are following them avidly!
  • musicmanmusicman
    Posts: 47
    CW - thanks for the feedback and the compliment. I'm sorry that your gf has berated you and given you such a hard time. That's never a good thing. But, please try not to feel too bad or discouraged. I will have been with my hubby for 19 years this September and I really don't know that I would have been ready for something like this 7 years into our relationship (we would have been... 26.) I would have to say that we've only both begun to be more open and adventerous in just the last 5-6 years (the last 2-3 especially.) I've been loving my 30's!

    You know... I don't really know if my hubby would have even tried the Aneros had I not kinda pushed him towards it. Part of me doesn't think so. At first even he didn't want to touch it. I think he associated it with being gay or something. I just said to him, "this does not make you gay, kinky maybe, but not gay!" If it were me and this thing is supposed to give me these great orgasms and pleasure... hell yeah! gimme, gimme, gimme! LOL

    You know.... I don't know what the answer is. I have always been interested in anal play, even when I was as young as 19, but I had a really hard time admitting it and especially asking for it for a long time. It was just such a taboo thing! You just didn't do something like that and you especially didn't like it and ask for it! GOOD GOD!! Heaven forbid!! lol

    How long have you had your Aneros' for? She may just need time. Maybe just keep it to yourself for a while and work on your Super-O. Maybe she feels a little insecure too??? Like I did at first, that I could be replaced. ????? I'll have to ask my hubby if he had a hard time with me using vibrators/dildos at first. You know what though... I just bought a new dildo not long ago and I had always wanted to try one that was "big" around and when he saw it, LMAO, he just said "holy christ!" - and then something to the effect about him comparing to it. (That one little comment let me know that I needed to reassure him that this was just for fun and that he need not feel threatened or insecure by it.) That wasn't why I bought it, because he wasn't "big" enough, I just wanted to try something new and different and experiement. I told him not to worry! I will say that I had to fight the urge to not feel embarrassed (did I say that right? - lol)... anyway!....

    I just figure that if it feels good and it doesn't hurt anyone, why not.

    Take care and good luck!

    mm's wife
  • Wow 19 years?? Sheesh and I thought I was doing damn well lol!

    Yes she is younger than that being 25 this year and myself turning 29 next month.

    Ironically I told her a few days ago she must stop being a prude and just accept the fact that I'm more sexually open and willing to experiment than her, and I'm not going to wait 10 years for her until she is in her 30's before she suddenly starts becoming interested in all this......So I'm gonna start her on Zaneblue's Orgasmic Diet! Maybe that will jump start her...I hope! Hehe...

    Yeh it was very hard for me not to associate the Aneros with being gay....putting something up your bum definitely smacks of gayness, and she has said as much, but I told her to read the My First Super-O stories to see that it doesn't make you gay, straight guys are doing it and WOW are they doing it! She wont read the stories at all, I tried to make her see that is what could happen for me in the future but she remains frigid....oh well. And yes thats how I feel, here is this wonderful product that can give me so much pleasure and joy and she just doesn't even care. *sigh*

    I've had my Aneros for roughly over a year now, and have avoided using it as I greatly felt her disapproval when I bought them...and only used it when she was not around(and living with me makes it rather rare)but as of this year I'm determined to make a proper go at it, hence my being here...

    Here's the strange part....she dislikes anal....but can cum from it! She cannot climax from vaginal intercourse, but doesn't want to do anal too much cos its "wrong"....oh vey! And no she is not very religious, but is abit conservative in her ways of thinking about sex. She was scandalized when I suggested anal lol!(but eventually I persuaded her hehe)

    LOL @ "Holy Christ"! I bought her one dildo and 1 vibrator and she only uses them when I'm away on business otherwise they sit gathering dust!

    Anyhoo...I can only hope my girl turns out as fantastic as you later on....

    Thanks :)
  • musicmanmusicman
    Posts: 47
    CW - yup 19 years! We've had our bad times and our good. They were not all this good and we, of course, still have our moments. Nobody is perfect! About a year after our second son was born we were both thinking of divorce. It was not a fun time in our marriage. Once we sat down and honestly talked about what was going on and came to an agreement and comprimise that we could both live with, things started getting better.

    As for your gf, not all 24 year olds are like the girls on "Girls Gone Wild". One of those commercials can come on our t.v. and it still boggles my mind how they can do what they do. I am willing to be more adventurous in our bedroom, but take me out and I'm pretty shy. That's why I love computers and the internet. Unless someone on here is a computer wiz, noone knows who I am, what I look like, where I live, nothin'. I'm free as a bird to say what I like, I just choose to be respectful and inquisitive, and hopefully thoughtful.

    As for telling your gf that she is a prude... um, I don't know that I would have used that word exactly, maybe ummmm try... reserved. And, I hate to tell you this, but she may never become interested in all this or "turn out" like me. All of this is a choice, and not all choose. I mean, what one person likes, another not necessarily will. Hell, I've heard of the fetish where people like to get pooed (sp?) on during sex. Now, if that is what they want to do and that's what gets them going and turns their crank, good for them, but for me... no thank you. Same goes for being peed on, I'm not into that either.

    As for you being more sexually open than her, yes you may be, but you are also 4 years older than her. Try putting yourself in her shoes. Remember back to when you were 24 going on 25... how readily would you have been willing to put something up your butt when you were that age? Honestly. Maybe you would have been, but maybe not. Also, just think where she may be at sexually when she is 29. Maybe the same as you, maybe the same as she is now. Only time will tell.

    Instead of trying to force the issue, maybe back off and let the dust settle a little. I don't know that I would say that she doesn't care about you and your experience, it just may be too much for her. Really. I also don't know that I would say that she is frigid, she will normally have sex and all that, so I'd say she is just adamant at this point. FYI (for your information), only a small percentage of woman can cum from vaginal sex, there are some that can, but most need clitoral stimulation; anal play can ramp that up quite a bit!

    Like I said earlier in here. For me personally, I was just too embarrassed when I was that young to admit to liking anything anal or wanting it (probably, including being accepting of it for my hubby. The subject never came up when we were that young.) I don't know why, but I do think there is some something that makes women feel bad or quilty about anal, masturbating, maybe even being attracted to other women. It is just an unwritten rule that those things are not acceptable. We may do them regardless, but while we do we feel embarrassed and guilty. At least till we overcome that. But, even now, at 37 going on 38, - I don't talk to my friends about those kinds of things, they just aren't ever brought up for discussion. They are a non-topic.

    Food for thought. You've read my posts, so you know where I stand on some things. Well because of my bi-curiosity... my hubby wanted to take me to a strip club and, if I wanted, get me a lap dance. Part of me wanted to, but I felt pretty self conscious about it. Even though it was something I might do; once he started getting a little pushy about it, I completely backed away. I don't like feeling forced to do something. Just me. Another example... say she's giving you a bj... then you grab her hair and push her head down when she's not into that or expecting it - you'll either get decked and/or the bj will probably be over. Now, if she hands you her hair - that is a whole different ball game! (pun intended! lol) What I'm trying to get at and describe is that we need to voluntarily be interested, willing, and accepting partners in whatever we are involved in.

    I try to describe my thoughts as best as I can. Does any of what I said make sense and/or help? I Hope so.

    Well, it is 1:18 a.m. where I am and I have to hit the sack! Take care.

    mm's wife
  • mm's wife:

    Dont misunderstand me, I know shes conservative and that from the get-go but slowly she has come to terms with things that are not normal her idea of sex was "man gets on top of woman and makes love to her"...I introduced her to doggy one of her(our) favs...Im not looking for those sluts/skanks on Girls Gone Wild....I wouldnt have dated her!

    She was a virgin and I popped her I can understand she is cautious...but 7 years into the relationship and Im now getting sex twice a month?? It used to be 3 times a least! The last two and a half years she was really lost all libido and sex drive and I dont know why...I think its linked to her not being able to orgasm from vaginal sex, she gets depressed when watching porn now instead of horny!

    For me, kinky is licking whipped cream off her nipples...or to the extreme...anal....neither of us are into that water sports and scat thanks!

    And as for age...If I had known about the Aneros when I was 18 I would have tried it! I love trying new things...I like trying out condoms, positions, techniques, flavours...anything interesting that could make sex more fun and or sensual? At first she wasnt but like I said slowly she learned theres more to sex than just man on woman, but lately she aint interested.

    As for dust settling...its been two and a half years I've had to put up with this crap?? It was good in the very beginning....but now I've had to tone it down...ALOT...cos she just dont wanna do anything...
    She dont like bj's.....never worries there.

    Yes you have been very helpfull....thank you for your awesome posts....maybe I should try get her to read some of your posts....she might open up alittle? Specially the last few here.
  • OH!!OH!!
    Posts: 260
    Just a thought here Crimsonwonder....they say you can attract a lot more bees with honey instead of vinegar. I'm thinking you need to really make a big deal out of her. Really encourage her and praise her for things you like about her and she has done really well. That may inspire her to do more. Make it and keep it fun! Make sure she is getting a lot out of it.

    Also try and get her started on Zane's diet to increase her pleasure and interest in sex.
  • musicmanmusicman
    Posts: 47
    CW - sorry if I hit a nerve or two, what I meant by the Girls Gone Wild reference was that they all look young and they seem to be willing to go to the extreme.

    As for your gf, if things have changed as much as you say they have regarding your sex life, maybe try to look back in time and see if you can figure out when it all started to change. Did she maybe get a new job that is extremely stressful, did a parent or grandparent die, did she gain some weight, was that right about the same time you got your Aneros? ----- these are just ideas. Since you think it may be linked to her inability to having an orgasm during vaginal sex (and I was there too once, now that I think about it! funny... I'd forgotten how upset it would make me! I'd cry after sex! Huh, weird that I forgot all about that!) Ummmm ANYWAY!!! - back to the subject, what about orgasming during masturbation or if you perform oral on her. Can she have an orgasm then? Also, if she has any female problems, they can do a number on a womans libido.

    The very best thing you can do is get as much courage as possible (and it will probably be hard to do) and sit down with her and ask her. Tell her as best as you can how you miss the intimacy of sex with her, how it makes you feel, and that you miss that contact. One thing I know that I would always say to my hubby when I could tell that something was bugging him, was that "I'm not a mind reader, I can't fix or change anything unless you talk to me and tell me what is bothering you." (He has a hard time opening up and I always felt that that would give him the opening he needed.) It hasn't always been easy to hear what he has to say, but I do my best to listen and learn and try not to get too upset.

    If you think that having an open discussion with her will be too hard or emotionally charged or whatever... write her a note. Whenever I would get seriously upset with my hubby, but I didn't feel that I could talk to him without getting too emotional, I would write him a note. That way I could take my time to think about what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it. I would write out the first draft and then let it sit for a 1/2 day or a whole day; then I would reread it - and decide if it still sounded the way I wanted it to or if I needed to make adjustments or if I forgot to write something down. And when I felt it was ready, I would leave it for him on the counter in the morning. Then when he got home from work we would be able to discuss it. So far so good doing it that way for us. FYI - the note thing is what saved our marriage all those years ago.

    As for regarding the bj's, etc... I meant for that to be generalized, not exactly toward you. It was just meant that - getting pushy isn't always going to get you what you want. Usually it will get you the opposite. Just like OH!! said; you'll get a lot more bees with honey than with vinegar.

    I hate to say it, and please don't shoot the messenger, but do you think that maybe she is so turned off by the Aneros and all that it implies, that she just can't get past it and that that is what has turned her off to sex? I'm not trying to be mean or hurt your feelings, but.... just be prepared for it if she brings it up.

    Good luck, mm's wife
  • Whew...indepth stuff here! lol

    Nicely said OH!!....very well put....must try that! Going start her on this diet ASAP believe me!

    mm's wife:
    No offence taken and hopefully none given!
    I'm glad she didnt cry after if anyone was crying it would be me!
    Her inability to orgasm has been there from the start...It used to kill me not being able to make her orgasm from vaginal sex.....but eventually I got over the idea that its not me and came to terms with the fact that its her that the problem lay. She can orgasm just fine from oral or clitoral or anal...but vaginal just doesnt seem to generate enough pleasure to take her over...and its not for my lack of trying or equipment either.....I'm average in size and girth and none of my previous 3 girlfriends had this problem so I was baffled as too why she cannot orgasm. Hence the diet....I'm hoping it will make her able to orgasm....

    We have very frank discussions and I've told her plenty times how I miss us making love regularly and miss the intimacy, but she says sorry she just isnt horny and doesnt want sex. She could go 2 months easily without wanting sex....

    Yeh pushy doesnt get you anywhere I've learned that if anything over the years heheh.....and I dont think it was the Aneros...I've only had it a year!

    I dunno hey...I'm just sorta resting all my hopes on this diet.....
  • OH!!OH!!
    Posts: 260

    We have very frank discussions and I've told her plenty times how I miss us making love regularly and miss the intimacy, but she says sorry she just isnt horny and doesnt want sex. She could go 2 months easily without wanting sex....

    I dunno hey...I'm just sorta resting all my hopes on this diet.....

    Interesting. As MM's Wife says with a woman it could be a lot of things causing her to have no interest - even stress or self image.

    Remember too Zane's diet has another component - the gyneflex for exercising pc floor muscles. That's part of how women learn to have vaginal contractions I believe...but certainly no expert there. :lol: Yeah, make sure she eats healthy and gets decent exercise and a little time to herself to unwind - recharge the batteries. You're the expert on your'll figure it out I'm sure. :wink:
  • musicmanmusicman
    Posts: 47
    CW - no prob. As for why I would cry after sex would be because I was so frustrated!!! I was able to cum once during sex and then I tried like hell after that to have the same experience and that was when frustration set in and then... yup, you guessed it, the crying. lol But, like I said, for a large majority of women, being able to orgasm during vaginal intercourse is pretty slim (unless they learn how to from what Zane can teach them.)

    Maybe Zanes diet can help her, but I'm not too sure whether you should tell her or just kinda do it on the sly. I guess your answer to that question would be to ask this question: would she be upset if she found out you put her on the diet without her knowledge? I just wonder if why she isn't interested is because of either emotional or physical reasons. So... huh, I don't know. Maybe try the diet without her knowledge (Zane suggests for about a month for it to fully kick in), and if after a month nothing..., then your trial will have been uncomprimised by her knowledge of it even being conducted. Did that make sense? lol

    Also... not to get too descriptive... but I do remember when my hubby and I would have sex and when it would feel real good would a lot of times be when my hubby was able to rub his pelvic bone against me (around my clitoris area.) So, technically we were having vaginal sex and I was getting something from it, but for me it was the rubbing of my clit that was getting me going, not so much the penetration. Instead of actually going in and out and losing contact with her body; trying keeping your pelvic area right next to hers and just move as best as you can that way while pushing against her and rocking your pelvis. Have you tried that? Okay, that was a hellofa lot of information! LOL O.M.G. - T.M.I. anyone! lol

    This is not meant at you specifically CW --- At least for me, it is not the size that counts. IT IS HOW YOU USE IT! (or don't for that matter.) My husband is just fine in that department, in fact too long for doggy style (I've had some serious pain from that a couple of times.) p.s. for me, personally, faster isn't necessarily better either. For me, slow is the way to go! I get so much more feeling and sensation from a slow screw than a fast one. Fast ones have their place, don't get me wrong, but like I said, I personally get more feeling from slower sex. Okay! T.M.I. again!

    I'm very glad to hear that you have frank discussions. They are not always easy to do. At least she sounds concerned and upset about her non-interest. Has she had her hormones tested? Cuz, I swear if they are off - that could be the reason! She really should have her testosterone and estrogen tested (and what the hell, throw in her thyroid!) AND, she should tell her Gynecologist about her lack of interest. At her age, that really does sound like a flag for something. Not to freak you out. As for this coming from you using the Aneros, it just doesn't sound like it cuz the two don't seem to coincide together.

    Keep up the communication with her, that is one of the best things you can do.

    Take care, C (<----- my first initial)<br />
    p.s. I don't know where you are but, have you ever heard of Sue Johanson? She has a talk show here in the U.S. on the Oxygen channel on Sudays (she used to be in Canada.) The show is called Talk Sex with Sue. She could really have some answers to your questions. She is a sex therapist I believe. I'm just me, I'm not a sex therapist or nothin'. I'm just a stay-at-home mom. :)
  • OH!!OH!!
    Posts: 260
    musicman said:

    Like I said earlier in here. For me personally, I was just too embarrassed when I was that young to admit to liking anything anal or wanting it (probably, including being accepting of it for my hubby. The subject never came up when we were that young.) I don't know why, but I do think there is some something that makes women feel bad or quilty about anal, masturbating, maybe even being attracted to other women. It is just an unwritten rule that those things are not acceptable. We may do them regardless, but while we do we feel embarrassed and guilty. At least till we overcome that. But, even now, at 37 going on 38, - I don't talk to my friends about those kinds of things, they just aren't ever brought up for discussion. They are a non-topic.

    That's an interesting topic. Do you think most women enjoy anal (at least of those that try it)? How about yourself? Do you like it a lot or take it or leave it? When did you start liking it, and what made it enjoyable?

    A lot of questions I know, but just curious. All the women I ever had it with really didn't seem to get anything out of it. A friend of mine has reported the same thing. I suppose if they are new to it, then it takes time to adjust and learn a new sensation - perhaps like us guys with the Aneros.

    I remember seeing a porn segment once of a woman doing anal, and it really looked unfaked and tasty :) . In the vid she eventually starting shaking...particularly her thighs along with some pretty intense vocals. It really turned me on. Before anal sex the guy massaged her vagina, clit, and anus thoroughly teasing her. Oh..I noticed that he had an angle in his finger (she was on all fours) as he inserted it in her rear that was downward toward her vagina and across her perineum. Zane reminds me that a woman's perineum is directly centered and kind of melds into the anus / vagina. So, I'm thinking he really hit a nerve (literally). The same when he had sex with her. He had the downward angle. What do you think? Would that make a difference. I suppose you and your hubby can give it a try and see.

    As I recall Zane said she wsan't into it that much, because according to her there were too many nerves there and it was like...overload or something.
  • evil-zombieevil-zombie
    Posts: 172
    what works for us is one position as far as giving her a vaginal orgasm..start missionary..pull your right leg up over her left leg...slowly turning...your left leg moves under her left...turning sideways...your combletely facing away from her..well half way..move up as far as u can still being inserted in her...and start grinding...this puts your cock in as close contact with her clit as possible...every time in this position the close hard contact..gets her off..she starts grabbing my ass cheeks pulling me in till..bam....she arches against me...try that ..winks.. :P
  • Thanks OH!!....I will have to see how it goes and take it from there..... :)
    Self image could be a contributor....she does have low self esteem sometimes but I'm always reinforcing how much I love her and find her attractive.....
    Oh hell yes.....anal porn with the woman genuinely enjoying it hehe.

    evil-zombie:Thanks! Will try that one! Sounds great!

    mm's wife...C:Well I've asked her the question already...and she said sure she will try....I dont think I would be able to persuade her to take 6 to 8 large pills a day without telling her why lol!

    Hehe @ "no to get too descriptive" Think you blew that right out of the water with your very next sentence lol...but its fine..I understand what you mean...and yes we have tried that but its more clitoral stim and she desperately(and me!) wants to cum from vaginal stim only..or mostly at least....

    Yeh she is like that too with regards to the slow and fast thing....slow 90% of the time and only fast in the last few mins....which leads either me to cum or we realise(as usual) she just aint cumming and then stop and let her orgasm first with a sideways position that allows me to still be inside her but gives her hands room to "play" and finish up but its rather concomfortable for me so I have to finish in another position......

    Have her hormones tested??...hmmmmm really didnt think of that one!! Thanks we might seriously do that.... :)
    Yeh we might also tell her gyne.....but hes expensive to see so might have to wait until she has an appointment or something...but thats what I was thinking too...its not normal for a 24 year old not to want sex......all my friends girlfriends are around the same age and they put out plenty!

    Will do C! Im not a mind reader as I've told her so talking is important (sounds familiar hey? lol)

    ps....fraid not...South Africa doesnt get that show....we get Dr Phil, Home Improvements and Jerry Springer to name a few....
  • Quick update:She told me that me buying the coconut oil was the last straw...and she now does not want to see me doing anything related to the Aneros with-in sight of her...,,and now to minimise any Aneros forum or Fleshlight forum window when she walks into the room...WTF?

    I'm so hurt that she doesn't care about my sexual exploration or well-being.....She kept saying its not natural for men to stick things up their bums and next thing I'm going to tell her is that I want a dildo or a cock up my ass(I have to admit I lost my temper at this point and yelled at her how deeply she hurt me by saying that and me using the Aneros does not mean I want a cock in my ass as I'm just not attracted to guys or want to have sex with them) and yeh.....big fight ensued followed by ignoring each other until we both calmed down to talk to each other without shouting....

    Whew....So we have agreed that I will use the spare room from now on to conduct my "fucking weirdo shit".......*sigh*
  • evil-zombieevil-zombie
    Posts: 172
    thank god my second wife is kewl to all this...but i can relate as my first was totally freaked out about anything or her...she "caught" me so to speak playing with one of her dildos in my ass and fucking spazzed...telling me i was queer and shit...i lost it...wasn't long after that we divorced...hope ya'll can work through it..that was a hellish time in my life...
  • musicmanmusicman
    Posts: 47
    OH!! - do I think most women enjoy anal? I don't really know. Like I said, it is just not a subject that at least me and my friends discuss. And if it ever gets brought up; the first comment is usually whell!, how gross and/or unsavory!

    I think... if a person (man or woman) were to get past the whole taboo part of it and just concentrate on what it feels like; then, I can't see how they couldn't find something desirable about anal play. But, a finger up a persons bum is much different than a penis. Now as for anal sex, that is a whole different ball of wax... there can be pain associated with that for whatever reason; taking things too fast, not enough lube, the object (be that a penis, dildo, vibrator, other) is too large. So, I can see where some may be o.k. with play and not with actual anal sex. Think about your Aneros' - they really aren't that large of an object, but compare that next to your penis the next time you are hard - BIG difference! For me, like I said in an earlier post. I have had anal sex, but usually I wind up not feeling too good for a couple of days after. Because of coming on here and learning about how glycerin can affect someone, I've started to wonder if that is why I would not feel good. (We always used KY jelly) So, anyway, because of not feeling good after, I've pretty much stuck with just the play part of anal. Maybe the sex side 2-3x a yr. And, I've been satisfied with that. But, maybe if I find something that isn't glycerin based... ????? who knows. As for when I started to get interested ??? um, I remember being interested before that, but actually finally trying (with not much success!) for the first time when I was 20. I will say that when I do do it, once I cum, I don't want it anymore after that, at that time. *shrugging* it's just how I feel after. Any more and the sensation and pressure is too much.

    As for the downward angle, ?????

    I do know that everything can be very sensitive "down there" on a woman. Sometimes, instead of going in for the kill, if you try and avoid on purpose what you and she may want the most, it just makes it that much more desireable! After that, even just the lightest of touch can set off a wildfire!

    F.Y.I. - these are just suggestions! What may work for me may not do a thing for your wife/gf/so. But, it never hurts to try :wink: Oh, and another F.Y.I. when you do something different - we wonder where you got it from. We don't necessarily think your cheating on us, but if we've been with you for awhile... we get used to what you do and anything new is well.... new. Kapeesh? :lol:

    EZ - nice to see you back here! LOL on your position! It took me some mental picturing to get it in my head how you were describing it! So basically, you are stradling (sp?) her left leg? Am I understanding that right? Sounds interesting and doable!!! I have to admit, I don't think we've ever done that! LOL - thanks! :D

    CW - lol on the pill thing! lol on the not to get too descriptive. Just trying to help, ya never know what will work. Since she is willing to try Zanes diet, the next step would be to check out for the exercisers for women. You could check it out first and see what you think b4 bringing it up to her. For a woman, supposedly only the outside 1/3 of the vagina has feeling/nerve endings, the other 2/3 inside the woman supposedly doesn't (I got that off of Talk Sex with Sue.) So, yeah, slow can be exquisit!, it just gives us that much longer to feel everything that we are being given :wink: .

    One other thing I remember hearing once (can't remember where), was just the analogy that women are like a crock pot. Just like a crock pot; you need to start them and turn them on early and they need to warm up and simmer all day before they are ready at night. lol Just some food for thought.

    And, definetly have her hormones tested!!! When my thyroid was off (and it wasn't all that long ago) - it was a real struggle for me to want sex. Honest! In my head I knew I loved my hubby, and that he was still very attractive to me and he felt I was attractive. It just wasn't there for me. I would struggle to get even remotely in the mood. Usually for me, after my period is a given, a no brainer. But, when my thyroid was off - it just wasn't nearly as strong. Heck, I've even ordered Zanes book and am going to give her diet a try. As long as it doesn't have any adverse effects on my medicine, why not.

    South Africa huh, isn't the internet something. I'm damn-near half the world away from you! You know what! You may not have Sue's show, but there is her website and you could ask a question on there and maybe if you tell them how you heard about the show, but that you don't get it, maybe they would be willing to answer you via the internet. What the heck, worth a try. I'll get back to you on the web address.

    CW - sorry to hear about the whole coconut oil, etc. I can sorta see the Aneros thing (y'know taboo and all that) but, the fleshlight is just for "regular" masturbating. I guess I don't understand what is wrong with that. I'm sorry that you are hurt AND that you both had a fight over your exploring. I hope that you can work things through to a better ending. I sincerely hope that that wasn't quotes from her saying "fucking weirdo shit" - that would be pretty harsh. :( Take care! I'll be thinkin' of ya!

    EZ - I'm sorry for your hard time too. It couldn't have been easy. I think if I found my hubby that way... I'd be surprised at first (he's never spoken of a desire for something like that), but then... I'd probably get turned on and then I'd want to take over :twisted: .

    Let's see if I can say this right without shoving my foot in my mouth (and deep!) I can understand how some woman can get upset about the whole anything up their mans butt. I'm assuming here! but, some women may associate a "manly man" as one who is everything manly (as advertised by media and passed down by grandpas and dads, etc....) Hunting, playing baseball, poker, beer, watching the Superbowl, a steak and potato dinner, trucks, and muscle cars, soccer, etc... the list goes on and on and on! But, now add to these womens "manly" thoughts, their MAN putting something up their butt and, well - that doesn't go with their "typical" mental picture of a man. Whether it may be for sexual stimulation or prostate health, how many of you can honestly think or recall ever a time where you heard either through the media or freinds or family (grandpa/dad) a discussion about anal play; especially anal play for men?! (Other than it being in a gay context.) For me... never until the movie Road Trip.

    Did what I say make any sense? Does this mean all women think this way? No, as you've read here, I don't and EZ's wife doesn't and several other mens wives on here don't. These are just one of my thoughts on the subject. But, if you look around on here. There are men on here who are dealing with the same issue as CW and EZ w/his first wife. I don't know what the answer is.

    For me, I sometimes think that because of my bi-curious side that that is why I am more open to and accepting of stuff. I know how easily I could be to be ridiculed and even ostrasized (sp?) by family, friends and even my community, if someone close to me were to find out about it. I don't know..... But, what I do know is that I am not the norm. I don't care. I can't care. If I cared, it would drive me insane not being "normal"! I'm me. Take me or leave me. Love me or hate me. Don't like me? That can make me feel bad, but I am who I am. And I like what I like. I can't make everyone happy, I've tried. It doesn't work. I just do my best to be the best person I know how to be.

    Anyway, I hope you all had a good/great weekend. It is now 1:25 a.m. and I'd better go. Have a good start to your week everyone!

  • evil-zombieevil-zombie
    Posts: 172
    no loss on the first far as i know shes been divorced twice since...her loss...the position i described we do is cross body..will deliver...smiles...nice that your open-minded as my current wife of 23's great ain't it?
  • evil-zombie:Yeh it feels like hell at times and then awesome at other times...but this is a major thing for me...and I can only hope I can open her mind and awareness a little or I might have to resort to drastic measures:IE: Show it to her until she becomes comfortable with it! As for the seconf wife...well done! Good catch there indeed! I think actually one of the very first posts's I ever did here I congratulated you on having such a kewl wifey!

    mm's wife:Waiting for that web site! Thyroid?? Of all!
    Yeh she dont like my fleshlights either...but it keeps me from nagging her for sex so often, so she tolerates it...As for the quotes...yup that was her quote...if you scroll up or to the first page you will see what she said :(

    And yep you might be right with the concept of a "manly man"! She has some ideas about how things should be, but inreality its abit different and I've let her down a few times gently like that...
  • OnthepathOnthepath
    Posts: 105
    Hi Crimsonwonder,

    There's a book called "Anal Pleasure and Health" by Jack Morin that discusses anal stimulation from both a healthful and sexual perspective, as the title suggests. It also explores the cultural taboos of anal stimulation.

    You may want to read this book yourself and see if your girlfriend might benefit from reading it as well. It's very readable and informative.

    I wish you the best of luck!

  • musicmanmusicman
    Posts: 47
    EZ - thanks! I do try to be as open-minded as possible. I also try to best explain my way of thinking on here. I hope I do o.k. Anyway!, thanks for the new posish (short for position.) Maybe we'll be able to give it a try sometime soon. :D I am a curious critter! :twisted:

    CW - I found the website for ya! It's Sorry it took me so long. There is a forum/board on there so... maybe someone that goes on there can help you out or give you some more/other ideas to try. Yeah, thyroid problems can be a royal pain! There are a couple of varieties, but I've got hypothyroidism.

    I don't know what to tell you about the fleshlight business. Does she realize that men typically have high sex drives and have "needs" in that department. I mean; guys really have to get off! From what I understand, if a guy doesn't, they can get "blue-balls". Am I correct on that? Anybody?

    I'm sorry that she said that to you. That was pretty harsh (if you ask me.) I hope that for your sake she can start to losen-up a bit and give you a little slack. The Aneros is not "weirdo shit"; it's just exploring something that feels good and has the added health benefit for your prostate on top of that. Maybe bring that up to her. I know I mentioned that to my hubby on Sunday. I told him that these weren't meant as sexual aids to begin with, that they were first perscribed as prostate messagers to help men who were having prostate problems; i.e. severely slowed urination, enlargement, etc... (am I right on that too?) Anyway, I just told him that they were perscribed for that first and then the sexual "side effects" just happen to be a bonus! I could tell that he was interested and thinking about what I was saying.

    CW - I wouldn't say that you've let her down. She just needs to realize that maybe what she's come to expect as "manly" (whether by learning it from media, family, her own thoughts, etc...) may not be the way it is for you, your individual self. Manly can come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, dimensions, ethnicities, religious backgrounds, you name it. What is manly to one group of individuals may not be to another. Hell, you could even look up during the Roman times (if I remember correctly from a program I watched on t.v., but don't quote me on it :? .) If I remember correctly, during Roman times, the adult men would take on young men/boys and "teach" them the ways of being a man. If you get my drift. Then once their teachings were done, the students went on to being a "man" and marrying, having a family, children, etc... And Catholocism (sp?) (Roman Catholics) came from that! Holy shit! lol

    It is amazing how sexually open people had been in the past and how uptight people are now. Granted the U.S. is one of the more uptight nations (no red-light district, very few legal nude beaches, only one place in the whole country is prostitution legal, etc...) but, you can find a lot of those things in foreign countries. I can't remember which country it was; either Japan or China (I think) that they are very open about sex. They have t.v. shows depicting it; culturally, men are allowed to have extramarital sex, as long as they pay for it (it's not o.k. if there are emotional ties.) I don't know about women and extramarital affairs. and the information goes on and on and on. That information came from a show I watched on a channel called G4 (it's on channel 191 on the Dish Network) the show was called Wired for Sex and the next time it's going to be on is Friday the 4th at 11:00 & 11:30 p.m. CST. Where I got the Roman information was from the History Channel I believe.

    Thanks Onthepath - that sounds like that could be a really good informational book! Thanks!

    Anyway, it's late (11:45 p.m.) here and I need to get some sleep! I hope the info I gave you helps some CW. Good luck!

    Take care all, have a good rest of your week! --- C
  • evil-zombieevil-zombie
    Posts: 172

    i doubt you'll change her mind on this issue..she see's it as a not normal manly thing to do ...good luck man..i had to divorce my first wife as she kept throwing that shit in my face with every argument...i'm gonna tell all ur friends ur queer n all that kinda verbal abuse...fuck'm happy now..shes miserable...good for me n vicki..fuck her...good riddance i say...
  • evil-zombie:Yeh you might be I sure hope it doesnt come to that! I dont get threatened like that at least...whew sounds like a real cow! No love lost there I see hehehe.

    mm's Wife:Thanks for the link!! Will check it out :) Sorry to hear about the hypothyroidism....thats some nasty stuff!
    With regards to the fleshlights...I originally got them cos I wasnt getting enough sex and I was getting tired of Mrs Palm and her five daughters. Her first reaction to them was "Am I not good enough??" and since then she doesnt want to see them or hear about them, but she has caught me a few times late at night, just shakes her head and goes back to bed. umm *looks around for help here!* lol its us guys getting so horny after lack of sex we tend to want to shag just about anything with two tits and a hole....and especially when alcohol is involved...lets say all proper thought goes right out the window......and you know why? Cos at any given guys have 14000 times more hormones in our blood than females! (saw that on Discovery channel hehe...explains alot really...)

    Maybe I should tell her how its a medical device and not a sex toy....not right now tho..she still very tender about the whole thing.

    LOL @ Roman Catholics! Scary huh hehehe..... Yeh dont agree with the whole extramarital sex stuff....Marriage should be for two people and faithfull to each other....kinky sex aside....

    Thanks mm's Wife..Have a great week too!

    Onthepath:Thanks! Will take a look-see :D
  • evil-zombieevil-zombie
    Posts: 172

    i really wouldn't give up on marriage if other than this issue guys are sex together...otherwise happy together...if thats the situation...i'd give up my aneros's before my wife...
  • musicmanmusicman
    Posts: 47
    CW, your welcome. Glad to help, if I can. I can understand why she said "am I not good enough?" Because, well..., we feel that way. Sometimes it can be hard for us to understand a guys high sex drive. Maybe if we had as much testosterone surging through our veins we'd be equally as horny. But then we'd have hairy chests and facial hair and certain parts of our body would grow that we wouldn't necessarily want growing! (and I'm not talking about building great definition in your arms either!) I remember one time... my hubby and I had had sex the night b4, then the next morning and then later that day I "caught" him masturbating. ????? I just couldn't fathom how he could be horny! lol - I was spent and well satiated... how the hell could he be horny?!?!?! lol

    LMAO! *looks around for help here!* - thanks for the info on blue-balls - I had always assumed that it was that a man didn't get off (in any way) for too long and the pressure just built up to a point of extreme pain. As for two tits and a hole; I've heard of it as a hole and a heartbeat! lol

    Yeah, I thought the Roman Catholic thing was funny; sorry if I offended anyone. I will say in my defense that I grew up Catholic and went to church and Sunday school and the whole thing.

    And yes, hypothyroidism sucks!


    There's another saying I learned a long time ago...just to share cuz it's kinda/sort funny and I do try to live by it to a certain extent ----- never assume because it makes an ass out of u and me ---- do you get it? lol

    If I'm not back on till Sunday night or Monday - have a good weekend everyone!

    p.s. - last weekend on Saturday I went and saw The Vagina Monologues and it was such a good show! Funny!!!, interesting, poingant (sp?), a little sad in one spot (but it had its place), and well worth the money ($8.00 U.S.) If you have a chance to see it, I think/hope you'd like it and get something from it. Everyone has a Mom. And, I believe it could help you understand us a little. If anything, you could say that your bringing your wife, spouse, gf to be a good supportive husband, spouse, bf. Then if you didn't like it or get something from it - you still look good in their eyes cuz you were willing to go, had brought them to it, or had come up with the idea. I know, I know.... I sound like a woman. Well, that's cuz I am one, silly! LOL :P I will say, I have never heard the word vagina said as many times in my life as I had there in just an hour and a half! Also, how many different ways/words/names you could say for a womans "down there"! LOL
  • C : LOL @ how the hell could he be horny! I used to get that a lot....

    Hole and a heartbeat works too......Actually its very shocking as to what guys will put their penis into when they are horny enough!!(Vacuum cleaners, grapefruits, socks, apple pies, melons, pillows, bubble wrap...the list goes on and on lol)

    On the buildup...actually I find that after a certain lengthy period of time, normally 10 days and on wards, the hormone level seems to drop slightly and level out ....yeh you want it? But its not like you willing to hump a tree with a hole if if so much as looks at you. After a very long time, you just not horny....weird as it sounds.....I'm talking like 3 weeks here and more...some days are worse than others...

    Not very religious so go right ahead and poke some fun mm's wife! Gently of course!

    We have a saying here too....."Assumptions is the mother of all fuck ups!"

    We had it here last year!.....or was it the year before... Wanted to see that show but it clashed with my schedule so I couldn't :( Heard it was very funny!

    evil-zombie:We not married! 7 years dating and I'm still not sure if she's "the one"? Anyhoo....
  • musicmanmusicman
    Posts: 47
    CW - vacuum cleaners?! Ouch!!! I would think that would hurt! :? I like your Assumptions saying! Yeah, I did enjoy The Vagina Monologues and I laughed a lot. But, I will say, that when I mentioned it to my brother this weekend (and he's pretty cool on stuff) - he thought it was stupid. Granted he said he only watched 5 minutes of it (it was on cable t.v. or a movie channel), so I don't think it was fair for him to call the whole thing stupid when he only saw 5 minutes of it. But, I guess I will recind my endorsement of it for you guys. But, if anyone has happened to see it and has enjoyed it or got something from it, that would be nice to know.

    CW - I was watching The Today Show this morning and on there they had a sex therapist. Her name was Laura Berman. I can't believe I didn't think to mention her and her sister to you. They used to have a show on t.v. called Berman and Berman. I think her sisters name was Jennifer. One sister was more on the physical side of sex and the other was more on the psychological side. You could Google Laura Bermans name and see what you come up with. I'm pretty sure she is located in Chicago, Illinois. One of the things that she mentioned on The Today Show was that only 30% of women are able to have an orgasm during intercourse. I was surprised, I thought the number was lower. They asked why it was that some women could and some couldn't orgasm during sex and a couple of the things that she mentioned were the womans anatomy and how long the man could actually have intercourse for. I can't remember what else she said. You could check the website - I believe it's - a lot of times they have information or articles on there from that days guests. Did you have any luck with the Talk Sex with Sue website?

    As for how things are going for my hubby.... He doesn't say much and I don't know that he gets in many sessions a week. I think once maybe twice. As far as he tells me, he's still having just the shaking/twitching thing going on. I think that that is involuntaries or mini-O's ??? Am I right, anyone.

    Anyway, have a good week everyone!

  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,492
    C (musicman’s wife),

    I have seen the HBO production of Eve Ensler’s “The Vagina Monologues” (which will be on HBO Signature this Thursday, 3:30a.m. EST BTW) and thought that it was very good, thoughtful, funny and at times saddening. There is no reason to withdraw endorsement of it just because one male (your brother no less) made a snap judgment based upon an incomplete viewing. I would recommend that every man who would like to understand better the female psyche at least take the time to view it. He will undoubtedly come away from the experience a bit more informed about sexual issues that women deal with themselves and perhaps that in the long run will make his relationships with women better in the future.
  • C: Don't look at me I wouldn't know lol! I've thankfully never tried any of those!

    I did look on that site you gave me and it was a bust, site doesn't look very active and not much to read, its all pointing to her books and stuff...but oh well! Hmmm well check out the today show site thanks!

    Yeh its quite sad hey, I used to make love 1 to 2 hours with my gf...and she still can't orgasm, no matter what I tried...ticklers, dildo, grinding, the 1 deep 9 short to 9 deep 1 short technique, music, extended name it I've probably tried it! She enjoys it all, but just cannot seem to get over and orgasm when just using vaginal intercourse! Intensely frustrating! Now days we normally take 30 mins roughly?

    But here is a quick update...she started taking the fish oil capsules last week and we have now stepped up the initial she is now taking about half the dosage suggested by zaneblue and she has remarked that she has been feeling slightly hornier than usual......shweet!

    Yeh please let us know how your hubby is doing! Lucky sod is already getting involuntary's?? Sheesh I've had my Helix and MGX over a year and 14 sessions under my belt and I got nothing cept a slightly burning ass every time! But I'm working on it thanks to Virg and his coconut oil suggestion so my ass isn't burning any more at least hehehe....I'm hoping that is what was holding me back so forward! Always forward! :)

    Go and watch Articwolves Aneros super-O video if you havent already.....Its intense! I cant even imagine what a turn-on that would be for you to see your man getting that much pleasure!

    Anyhoo have an awesome week!
  • musicmanmusicman
    Posts: 47
    Rumel, thanks so much for your post! What you said made me feel better. After my brother said what he had said, I felt foolish for even mentioning it on here. Not that that was why I haven't been on and/or posting. It's just been busy here, sick kids, etc... and I haven't even been on the computer much at all. I am glad to hear that you did get something from it. There were men (younger and older) that were at the event that I was at and I watched them when it was done to see their expressions and they did not seem like they couldn't get out of there fast enough. So... I kinda figured that because all the guys on here seem so open-minded about stuff, that I would mention it and... so I did. Then my brother, who is usually really cool about stuff said what he said and I thought :oops: , sorry that I mentioned it. Thanks anyway. :)

    CW - Sorry that the Talk Sex w/Sue site was no good. Oh well, at least it was worth a try. Right? Wow, I keep learning stuff... 1 deep 9 short to 9 deep 1 short. Never heard of that one, but I think I can figure out what you mean :wink: . I finally just today got my copy of The Orgasmic Diet. I haven't had a chance to look through it yet, but will over this weekend. I've already got my Dove chocolate! lol

    Ohhhhh! Good deal on the fish oil and the effects of it! Glad to hear it for you! I sincerely hope you are still having the same or better effects since the last time you posted. :D Once I get a chance to look over the book I'll be able to add the oil. Every little bit helps.

    As for the involuntaries.... y'know he doesn't really tell me what is going on. I can see the effects of it, but not that if he's making it happen or if it's happening to him. That's why I put all the question marks at the end. I did buy him the MGX model recently, but I don't know if he's used it yet. I'm curious to know if there is a difference for him. Maybe it will be better!???? Maybe this weekend he/we will find out.

    You've got my attention! Where would I go to see Articwolves video????? Very curious!

    Thanks much for keeping in touch! Take care and have a great weekend!

  • C: Ahh its worries...I'll find a site sooner or later heheh.

    That technique is also very good for the guy cos just counting the strokes will stave off orgasm so he doesn't cum too quickly...well it does for me anyway lol

    Unfortunately not much of an improvement on the fish oil side...she taking only little bit more now and aside from her being wet for no reason during the day...her libido has not increased much....*sigh* But zaneblue says for woman it takes a month at least so I'm remaining hopeful...Oh and ya the chocolate plays a large part....she said that when she ran out of chocolate she definately noticed a drop in her horniness level....

    Please let us know how your fish oil intake goes...and if your hubby enjoys the MGX more than the Helix??

    The post for the video is here:

    No prob.....have yourself an awesome weekend!!
  • musicmanmusicman
    Posts: 47
    CW, sorry for not getting back sooner, it was my turn to be sick. I have been reading my Orgasmic Diet book and in it is listed the website for Jennifer and/or Laura Berman; (also - which I believe the fsd stands for Female Sexual Dysfunction) they may both be helpful to you. I read in Buttercups thread that you said that your gf said that sex with/for you is not her problem. I am so sorry. Buttercup was right, if you are important to your gf and she cares about you and your feelings...and your desire for her, then she needs to take this part of your relationship into more serious consideration! I truly feel for you.

    I know for my hubby and me, when we had our rough patch around 6 years ago, it was a combined problem for both of us. I had had our 2nd son, quit smoking, replaced cigarettes with mini m&m's and then my thyroid went to hell (the latter three at the same time.) Needless to say, I put on all the weight I had lost after having our son. Even though I wanted sex and needed his touch and needed him. He was not truly physically attracted to me anymore at that time and was barely even affectionate. I was extremely lonely and felt alone. Then add on to that that he still had a strong sex drive, but instead of coming to me to fill that need he went on the computer to adult websites and live webcams, etc... Eventually, I truly believe it became an addiction. He didn't want sex with me, but would spend around 4 hours a night on weekends looking at porn and masturbating and any other time he could the rest of the week. My loneliness and his lack of desire for me was crushing. I was to a point of deciding whether to divorce him or not and it was leaning toward. I felt so alone and miserable. I know what it feels like to be rejected. That was when I wrote my letter to him. We had to talk and make our comprimises. I would work at getting the weight off and he would get of the computer. We have had some issues come back up over the years, but have dealt with them. I NEVER,EVER want to go back to that place and feel that kind of pain or rejection again.

    Anyway! I will be getting my fish oil this weekend. What I already have is not very good and/or refined and need to get better quality stuff (I just started taking the lower grade stuff anyway just to get a leg-up.) As for the MGX, he said he's only been able to use it once and couldn't really tell, so.... no news yet for ya. I have been suggesting to him to try new, different positions... telling him about what all the guys on here do or are trying... the thread with the one guy who puts his hand/fist under his pubic region and lays on his belly and massages/stimulates his prostate from the front, and also to try just being on his belly and also on his back but with his legs straight up in the air and also kneeling by the side of the bed but with this chest over the bed and even just walking around with the Aneros in....

    That was quite the video for Arcticwolves! It said on the site that it was about 3-1/2 min long, but it would stop on my computer at about 2-1/2 min. So I don't know if I missed anything or not. I kinda felt intrusive watching though. Interesting though.

    Take care,