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HELP! Need tutelage! HELP!
  • HELP! I've been working with my Helix a couple months, using all I can find on this forum. trying things of my own, and can get nothing more than something like an "ass spasm" and perhaps if I fantasize really hard, kind of tingly balls -- but in the end, afterwards, even giving myself a helping hand on the front-side out of frustration with the back-side isn't even gratifying.

    I don't know what I am doing wrong and wish somebody who is successful would be willing to dialog with me so as to figure out where I go wrong.

    I thought for the longest time that I could not find my "G" spot or that the "G" spot prod was always slipping away -- but I've found the only "zing" between asshole and balls, and even used scotch tape to hold the "G" spot prod down exactly where it's supposed to be -- and WOW, doeos that make it hurt when I have to pull out my perienum hairs later on!

    It does not help that my cat thinks I am a revolvingi door opener / feeder.

    One thing I would like feedback on is how guys have found particular prescription drugs to interfere. I take a couple psychoactive medications and pain medications as well. One of them, Cymbalta, actually enhances my sexual response, not only because it promoted elevated norepinepherine, which is chemically related to dopamine, which is well known to enhance libido, but becuase it makes it more difficult for me to orogasm -- which I really like -- for the longevity of pleasing a partner, as well as how titilating it is to please myself for hours on end before I finally ejaculate and orgasm. Wow, I never had any idea that one could get SO MUCH out of masturbating with SO TIGHT a fist -- INCREDIBLE!

    But I digress -- at any rate, I have to wonder if Cymbalta is causing me to feel less, or Adderall, the notorious ADD drug which is really legal amphetimine salts (and works by raising dopamine, making me hornier). I also take an anti-seizure medication useful for mood stabilization, called Lamictal. It helps the brain fire less stray messages across its synaptic gaps, but I don't think it directly affects sensation at all. At any rate, of all the Rxs that I take (and there are more), only Cymbalta has show to be able to limit my sexual function. The standard dosage for depression is 60 mg, but for chronic pain, which I have, the dosage is doubled at 120 mg. I don't think Cymbalta helps much with my pain from fibromyalgia, and I wanted to feel horny most of the time, so I knocked the Cymbalta back down from 120 mg to 60 mg. It made for much more senstive skin overall and particularly genital, incredible penile orgasm -- but no luck with regard to Aneros.

    I use the Helix, and I think it would be kind of futile to try to describe all teh things I try to make it work. (Too bad this site doesn't support video!)

    I know the biggest key is a trick of the mind, so one of you ahve written. I know how to relax, I know how to self-hypnotize and pray, but I don't know how to get my ass and perienum to play tug-of-war. I try dedicated meditation, being apathetic and watching TV, active fantasy and naked men shots, but the most I get is a kind of vibration in the ass region which very well could be a tremor due to fibromyalgia. (I hate tha word, "fibromyalgia)."

    I really think I am mssing something very simple, and want my ass to get its just reward. I did have someo fun today down on all fours with my helix -- but I never come anywhere close to anything like orgasm.

    At most the sensations I get are mildly suggestive of eroticism, adn I cannot tell if I enjoy putting stuff up my ass and clenching on it as I pull out, because I so want to get fucked and be made a "real man" -- or somehow have associated pain and discomfort with the erotic.

    I dont' tink Aneros has anything to do with what I just wrote. HELP! I want to join the super-O club. I sure wish there were an Aneros support group / tutelage in my city. (But I can imagine just what a bunch of naked men togehter with appliances up their asses would be bound to degenerate to -- and bath houses are not legal here in the south.

    Thanks everybody and somebody please HELP!
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,460
    Man's Man,

    Let's address the easiest issue first : I presume that the area you are calling the "G" spot is the area of the perinium more often called the "sweet spot" for the P-tab of the Aneros to leverage itself. I and other members have also found locating this spot difficult, I have personally found that there is an area approximately 1" in diameter that has marginally increased sensitivity in the perineal area. The P-tab placed anywhere in this area is equally effective for me, outside that area I don't really loose much feeling or effective action, I think the "sweet spot" sensitivity is just another one of the variables between individuals. As long as you keep the area dry and free of lube, the P-tab will probably remain close to where you locate it, so you don't need to try taping it in place. I would also advise that you shave the perinial area as 'Mayfield' suggests because having no hair there will eliminate pulling hair pain and give the P-tab better contact with skin.

    I'm not a doctor and am not familiar with the effects/interactions of the various medications you are taking, I would suggest that you have some extended conversations with your doctor regarding all these drugs effects on your body both physically and mentally. I'm sure there are effects, as you have already stated, both helping and hindering your emotional, arousal states. There very well may be a chemical imbalance in your system which is imparing your ability to sense the subtle feelings generated by the Aneros massager.

    Your statement - "I know the biggest key is a trick of the mind,..." is quite correct. 90% of sexual experience is fabricated in our mind. However, I detect from your statement - "I so want to get fucked and be made a "real man"-- or somehow have associated pain and discomfort with the erotic." that you are dealing with underlying sexual preference issues as well as masochistic tendencies. If this is the case, then the use of the Aneros is not likey to be fruitful until such time that your mind is peacefully receptive and you have resolved those issues. The path to the super-O is sufficiently daunting that we certainly don't need to add psychological impediments to our progress. I may be entirely wrong here and have misinterpreted your statement, perhaps you were just expressing a sexual fanasy, not a heartfelt desire.

    I would reccommend that you go back and read your own post to 'darwin' - - regarding use of self hypnosis and self-guided imagery techniques. Your statement - "the power of suggestion is incredibly real -- and the power of focused intent is so real it is almost scary." demonstrates that you already have a valuable set of techniques available for your use. Employing those same techniques in developing the necessary sensate focus for building the subtle p-waves and other feelings will serve you quite well on the path to the super-O.

    Your previous posts to this Forum indicated that you were getting some pleasureable feelings/sensations from your Aneros usage, so you do have a memory bank to draw from and know what to focus upon. Amplified arousal is an essential element leading to the super-O. You have not indicated your frequency of ejaculatory orgasms, but I would suggest you abstain from ejaculation to build your physical level of arousal and use your preferred form of erotic material to increase your mental arousal level. Together, in addition to self hypnosis and relaxation techniques, I suspect that your next Aneros session will reveal new sensations or perceptions to lead you further along the path, perhaps not directly to a super-O, but progress, nevertheless. I hope this helps, and remember, the mental "re-wiring" process can take considerable time to be effective.
  • Thanks for the info, thought I would clarify, though please don't think you need to repy in kind:

    You must forgive me, was being sarcistic as an expression of frustration and not entirely clear in that comment you mentioned about "getting fucked and being a 'real man'" -- I'm not having sexual identity issues -- I know what I am and what gender I like -- but because Aneros is not yet workig and I am experiencing anal "cramps" which are painful, I am of course left trying to figure out if the pain sensations I get are what I'm supposed to be feeling -- or might be what I am supposed to be feeling if I could but relax the spasmed muscles and let them do their thing. (My gut reaction is: no, what I'm experiencing is just from trying too hard and too long. That's kind of what I meant by that phrase you quoted. I think I was being entirely too subtle.

    I just don't get what I'm supposed to be feeling. For that matter, I don't know what you're supposed to feel when receiving anal sex. From what I understand, some gay men don't get off on that at all. I haven't tried it in years, it sounds conceptually hot, and maybe with the right partner it is, but I'm not sure if I'd ever be into it.

    At any rate, I don't think sexual confusion or even S & M desires, though neither of these relate to me, would preclude one from enjoying the Aneros. Why should they be mutually exclusive?

    Sorry for making this confusing.

    What you reminded me of -- I had forgotten about some of my earlier posts and sensations I was beginning to get. Never got any further. I also tend to think that my relaxation and self-hypnosis techniques are pulling me FURTHER away from the goal.

    My hontest take, having a lot of experience with thsi is that, while older psychactive drugs had marked symptoms of sexual deadening and impotence, and even the first decade of SSRIs such as Prozac, Paxil, Effexor, Luvox also were notorious for robbing one of sexual desire. However the later ones, such as Zolft and what I am now taking now, Cymbalta, which is both an SSRI and SSNI (maintains more seretonin AND norepinepherine in the synaptic gaps), are honestly sexual enhancers. I went into enough detail on this before to bore the pants off everybody I am sure, deailing also with stimulant, anti-seizure and minor tranquilizer (benzodiazaplines such as Valium, Klonopin and Xanax), so I won't redo all that here.

    Long and short -- ALL medications have side effects and sensory modifications are common -- I actually DON'T think I am being impeded by prescription drugs -- but I am hoping someobdy else who might taking some of hese medications or something similar might be able to give a personal testimony on this as to their experience.

    It is always good idea to speak to one's physician. Thing is, my personal physician, who is an excellent clinician and a hell of a human being, is one of my best buddies and also reseach colleague of mine -- we've talked the issue of sexual responses as relates to prescription drugs to death. I'm free to go off the Rxs if I wish and see if Aneros works that way. It would only take about three weeks to drain the ones with even the longest half-lives. (Well, if one is taking an opiod, which I am not at this point, it can honestly take a couple months -- and those are hellish months, let me tell you!) Anyway, as relates to my physician and I, while we can discuss pharamkinetics, metabolites, and side effect -- fact is that individual response to pharamaceuticals varies greatly from person to person, so all even the best physician can do is examine, advise, monitor, do speicific research, confer with colleages, do focused reseach in peer reviewed journals, and perhaps offer a comparative point of view based on his other patients asking similar questions (who would of course remain totally anonymous to me to keep cool with both Hippocrates and HIPPA).

    Sorry I called it a "G" spot. Perhaps there is a Latin term for it. I knew I took Latin for something. I'll have to make figuring that word out a passion.

    I really do think I already found the spot. The only reason I resorted to scotch tape was that some posts have recommended even using one hand to steady the thing in place -- and I do tend to get better sensation when the tab is right on the raised center-line which extends from scrotum to anus across perinum (and which, from what I understand, contains the vestigial male version of what in women is the vagina -- imagine that!).

    Also, while I try not to let this happen, lube does get spread around -- so I am always concerned about the tab getting slick, even when it doesn't. Somebody had mentioned using a "lube syringe" -- something I have never heard of but I see no reason one could not use a large gauge syringe sans needle for such a purpose. And I've also heard of placing a strip of paper towel between the tab and perieum for better friction -- though I didn't find that useful.

    I haven't had any issues with pulled pubic hairs, but it occurs to me that pubic hair could reduce friction and allow the tab to drift around more. I might try shaving the perienum if nothing else works -- but still have an extreme sense of distaste from when I got talked into shaving everything down there a few years ago -- I know a lot of men are doing it these days but it is just not for me.

    It is good to hear from you that there is a range of acceptable spots. This is what I had determined as well during an extended self-examination / probing session. Perhaps I can be less worried about where the spot is.

    I do recall some very good posts which went into IMMENSE detail on where the spot is and how varied its position can be, even laterally. Those were also the ones which suggested using a finger to setead the Aneros on teh spot while not applying any downward pressure so as to interfere with the intended anal-perenium interaction -- which one might even call a servo-mechanical feedback loop.

    Good point as to my penile orgasms, I have tried abstaining for up to a week and yet have no different response with aneros. And as I mentioned, penile orgasms are no good after Aneros use.

    I really do appreciate your post and all you've shared. What you're confirming is a bit depressing actually -- but that's not your fault -- that I'm already doing all the right stuff, have been doing it right for quite a while and with sufficient frequency and duration of Aneros sessions, and experimenting every which way as well as using recommended proceures, but no super-orgasm.

    Unless somebody out there has some other revelations, I guess I'll just have to keep experimenting. Might be some men are physiogically incapable of this kind of orgasm, or up-tight, or blocked, or medicated, et cetera.

    Or maybe you are right, that everything worthwhile doesn't happen instantaneously. It took me six years of piano lessons to be able to play even something as simple as "Rhapsody in Blue". (Yikes! I don't know if I can wait six years for a super-orgasm though.)

    Lastly, I would like to be able to blame distractions, but just don't think I can. Still it's true that on Friday, I felt I was just getting there (with stimulation) twice when: 1) my big fat cat had to come in out of the heat to load up on food, and 2) the Office Depot delivery guy practically knocked my front door open. But one would assume that if distraction were the issue, one could return to where they left off, even if having just practically jumped out of their skin.

    (Ocassionally, delivery and service people actually DO knock the door full open -- and there I am on the sofa wearing and doing -- whatever. I don't find the bed good for this stuff, and I can always just wash the cover of my futon sofa if it gets soiled. I have no interest in the "thrill of discovery" thing -- and it does occur to me that the way my condo is designed, perhaps the living room, even with blinds drawn, is not private enough a place to feel relaxed in. You would not beleive our condo association president -- moving things aroundn on my front porch to suit herself, unscrewing my hose and its nozzle just in case I might have left the waater turned on (which I didn't), knocking all the time to chat about BS like will I help her research, buy and monitor hidden security cameras -- frankly, I cannot wait to buy a real house and move away from this place -- I don't need a den mother!)

    Again, thanks for your post, and other posts are welcome as well. I will keep on trying, and if after SEVEN years of Aneros practice I still have no result, perhaps I will just have to accept being an "Aneros eunuch" as a gift.

    Happy orgasming, men.

    (Anybody heard of a WOMAN somehow getting off on the Aneros? I imagine there have to be women out there whose physiology somehow makes this work -- but honestly, I don't understand what women enjoy about anal sex any more than I why men seem to enjoy it. Call me naive I guess, but not judgmental.)

    (I really don't get what "judgmental" is not spelled "judgemental" -- but we live in a world where people are so illiterate that the apostrophe has spread in English from being used in contractions and possessives to making people feel better about separating acronymns and numbers from the letter "s" (as in, yikes, "API's" and 1960's" -- both incorrect) -- to the point that I now often see both handwritten and even custom-printed signage in stores and offices where te apostrophe is used in regular old plurals -- such as:

    Egg's $1.06 a dozen

    Carolina's Suite


    ... but I digress. Truth is that apostrophe and Aneros are intrinsically bound both on metaphorical, metaphysical, physiological and quantum axes." Yeah, I don't just digress -- not I BS. Sorry.)
  • darwindarwin
    Posts: 1,335

    you definitely need to feel fully secure in your privacy. it sounds like the couch is terminally unprivate. perhaps you need to get creative in using your bedroom. if you have the bucks, the "liberator throe" sold on this site and elsewhere is great (i love mine, my "sex blanket").

    you mentioned that you get very good pleasure from protracted penis stim. have you experimented with having the aneros inserted when you do that? i ask because your goal is to find *some* way, *any* way to notice pleasure from the aneros. the process of "training" with the aneros is beginning with whatever pleasure signal you can get from it, be it loud or faint, and growing it

    unless you go off the meds (i don't recommend that) we'll never know if they are responsible or if you are just at one end of the bell curve with initial responsiveness to this kind of stimulation.

    so, again, since the meds help you extend penis stim for long times w/o cumming, i say throw the aneros into that and see if you feel a difference.

    if so, that will be the foundation for you to build on. for example, at the end of a penis+aneros session, try just the aneros for a bit.

    the only other idea i have is what i always suggest for guys (or women) who are at an impasse with sexual arousal: if you can, throw the big bucks at the problem, and get a Slightest Touch unit ($140). note, however, that they specifically say that the unit won't help those with medication induced low arousability. they do have a return policy though their customer service has been tanking...

    and, just to be clear you completely understand: the aneros should never cause pain. if it does, immediately stop using it and wait a couple of weeks for things to calm down. discontinue any technique you were using that caused the pain.

  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,460
    Man's Man,

    I just read 'darwin's post and concur with his thoughts, here are a few more of my own.

    You are absolutely correct that ones sexual orientation or S&M proclivities should not interfere with effective Aneros use. I was trying to hint at the guilt/turmoil/dilemmas one might feel with unresolved psychological conflicts, that guilt can have a negative effect on one's thought patterns. I did not mean to imply that straight, bi or gay men have issues that would preclude their enjoyment or ability to experience a super-O.

    You stated "I also tend to think that my relaxation and self-hypnosis techniques are pulling me FURTHER away from the goal. " I'm a little dismayed at why that might be.

    You stated "And as I mentioned, penile orgasms are no good after Aneros use." This is a bit curious, I don't have a clue about addressing that.

    It seems that you do have a very thorough understanding of your medications and their effects, so I can't offer any help there.

    If you are experiencing painful anal spasms due to the Aneros use, perhaps a proctologist’s exam may reveal a physical cause, I don't think what your experiencing there is normal and obviously painful conditions of any sort are going to negate the ability to begin the pleasure wave generation cycle.

    I would like to re-emphathize the initial feelings/sensations generated by the Aneros are quite subtle and easily dismissed if you are expecting to immediately feel orgasmic waves, pulses, spasms etc. Tuning into the good feelings, when they occur, also necessitates mental effort to amplify them, let them fill your focal point of being, and repeat/reinforce the physical actions that generated them. The concept of simple harmonic motion is applicable here in amplifying the feelings/p-waves to orgasmic levels. Some of your sessions are going to be 'duds' with seemingly little or no action, some are going to be 'feel good' but nothing orgasmic, some are going to have multiple mini-O's or even intense dry-O's, then when you don't expect it you may experience a super-O in one of its many different 'flavors'. I don't know how many sessions you are having a week, reducing the number may give your body a chance to regenerate a state of equilibrium for you.

    I hope this helps a little, try to be patient with yourself.
  • Interesting and helpful posts, guys, Darwin and Rumel, I got a lot out of both, and ended up writing all kinds of hopefully-at-least-tangentially-related stuff below (tell you what, I ended up writing rather than Anerosing -- and while there's always time for Aneros, I don't know how much anybody will want to read this):

    Darwin, the "liberator throe" sounds fascinating and a very good idea, I will look at that. as to the $140 "Slightest Touch", where would one obtain that? I'm curious because, prior to investing in my Helix, I wasted $20 a throw on some very useless vibrators -- and when they seemed just to not have enough vibration I even wasted another $20 on a cheap from-the-pharmacy muscle ache massager (read genital vibrator I guess) -- but even that was too weak. I even tried (once) using my "Thumper" device --which is great for backaches becuase it's like having two rubber mallets rapidly striking in successing -- but no so great on the genitals or anus. (Just to throw in a funny, I recall how, back in college, after reading a letter in Penthouse -- back when I actually beleived these were written by readers not a depraved editorial staff) -- ione night after closing time and throwing all the students out of the computer lab where I ran printers and tutored, I plugged in the industrial vaccuum with the extra-waide hose, loaded all my equipment in there, and put cranked it up to "high." OUCH! I can still feel it, still recall how I managed to create big hematomas on my penis and scrotum and who knows what else. Never tried that again. I do not recommend!)

    Very good to have clarified that pain is not part of Aneros pleasure. Thank you.

    Your idea about giving myself a helping hand while anerosing is a good one. At first I do recall how, early on with Aneros, after an unsuccessful session, I'd leave it up there and masturbate myself -- but found that, while this does help identify that even penile orgasm originates from the anal area, and helped me understand why even some straight men ask their wives to stick a thumb up there during sex -- I really found it actually DETRACTED from my orgasm

    However, I think I need to try this with the idea of, from the outset, giving it to myself both ways (Aneros and hand job). And not be worried about having the best orgasm ever but just making that cross-crotch connection from the pecker to the pooper -- to be gross and needlessly alliterative.

    I've never done quite what I think you suggested or what I just wrote. Actually, it reminds me a whole lot of stuff I've read and seen on TV relating to couples sex-counselling, where they were trained to differently experience one another's touching of their bodies and in particular genitalia.

    In fact I will try this tonight!

    Just yesterday, actually was messing with penile stimulation while Anerosing -- but feeling as guilty as I did when i discovered masturbation at age 11 and was always terrified of my parents catching me -- not realizing, of course, that they knew perfectly well, as all parents of pubescent boys do, why I was suddently always in the bathroom. I'm kidding about the pubescent / religious / hairy-palm guilt -- what I mean is that, having read many posts saying that whacking while Anerosing is a no-no, I felt like i was cheating.

    Rumel, I hope I did not offend, did not intend to. You do have many interesting things to say, particularly in your second post. Especially the last paragraph where you characterize the experience of p-waves. This is really what I need to be reading, and can relate to much of what you wrote. I think perhaps I am overthinking, perhaps having too-long Aneros sessions, and thereby frustrating, numbing and even hurting myself. I am encouraged to try again tonight without regard to past or present "failures" but instead, as I think I read in a post a while back, not to think in terms of succes or failure at all, becuase as you say, these orgasms come in many different flavors -- only one doesn't get to select like at Ben & Jerry's.

    Here is what I mean about relaxation and self-hypnosis maybe mucking up what Aneros is supposed to do: it is true I can scan my entire body and magnify the sensations there, which so often many of us are totally unaware of, for example how tired the top of a foot can feel -- though I have to admit that till recently I was afraid to do this with internal organs and especially the heart which will benefit most from it -- and it never once occured to me to scan my anus during a relaxation session until Aneros. (No I take that back, partially -- I used to try to help a friend who was dealing with intense panic attacks and extreme sensitivities to smell, by leading him through guided relaxation exercises -- and just to keep it light and make use of laughter, I once threw something like ... well ... tell you what, I'm going to save that for a special treat at the end of this post, since since it got kind of arty and I hope doesn't get me thrown off this forum.) But coming back to the subject at hand, all these meditative techniques have a spiritual asepct and I have to admit they seem to take me someplace else, whether inward to the collective unconsciousness of humankind or outward into the realms of spirits and stars, it all seems to help a great deal with issues of pain and fatigue, by moving me to a perspective from which I am able to see these as finite and transient instead of being endless throughout my entire life as I normally experience. However, to accompmlish this, I am in some sense removed from my body or awareness of it -- which really is not the point when dealng iwht something s visceral as Aneros.

    I do know some erotic meditation techniques, but my spiritual beliefs have matured to where I no longer wish to summon or invite into my bed those mischievous, incestuous, carnivourous, lost-soul, omnisexual, ever-loving Inccubus & Succubus Twins. (I'm really not kidding ... it can be done. No I'm not nuts. But don't try this at home, kids ... really ... don't.)

    Let me explain regarding what I am calling "pain." I don't believe I over-contract, because I know subtle contractions are supposed to be more effective. But I do start -- having read to do so either from the manufacturer or a post -- with about moderately-hard 30 contractions to get the related tissues engorged with blood. And I really do probably go on trying way too long. I often will just fall asleep and then wake up 20 minutes to a couple hours later with a sore ass. Just been in there too long, maybe. Also, I have noted that water-based lube does get absorbed or diluted, and I may have had pain from friction. (I have enjoyed for this reason a gel form of baby-oil, which allows Aneros to remain lubricated a lot longer and be almost too springy and bouyant becuase, when not lying with butt cheeks together (I don't mean clenched either), a gel baby-oiled Aneros will pop up out of the rectum like a corpse out of the Dead Sea -- sorry not the best metaphor -- wouldn't be any better had I said "Great Salt Lake" or "Salton Sea" I guess.

    I will see if I continue to have this pain with my new mindset.

    Here is why I think I find "normal" masturbation less successful after Aneros -- I'll explain it and then digress in a manner which might make sense of it -- or might make for amusing / enticing / possibly-kinky reading, depending on the reader I guess. My penile masturbation sessions can take up to two hours, with only hte last half involving the penis and of that only about the last 15 minutes involving orgasmic stroking. The build-up is slow and satisfying, and works best when the body is "fresh" -- no very recent orgasm, recent sexually-stimulating carressing or recent stimulation of any kind of anything one might consider part of the sexual apparatus, including inner thighs, pubis, penis, scrotus, perienum, anus and buttcks. While using Aneros, I am touching all of these besides penis and scrotum. Also, while not mlking the prostate, Aneros does seem to "over-prime" it. (I htink this tells me I am using Aneros wrong.) At any rate, after all that frustrating relaxing with Aneros inserted, what I really want to do is gratify myself, and I suppose that, compared to what I am accustomed to from penile masturbation, anything, including sex with a partner, seems like a let-down. (Not that I'd pass up a hot man or woman!)

    To make sense of what I mean regarding my normal (or if not "normal" then "current") masturbatory experience:

    for me, penile masturbation can take one or two hours -- partially because Cymbalta allows me extended erections with total control over when I choose to ejaculate, so that, while not truly multi-oragsmic, I can modulate erotic sensations right up to and back dwon from the point of orgasm multiple tmes. (I just realize how personal this is to share but here goes:) I find masturbation most successful when I've had three or less orgasms within the past 24 hours (pretty good at age 50 I guess), when I start with lightly caressing scrotum, testicles, perienum (and sometimes surface anus), then whatever part of my body feels good -- EXCEPT THE PENIS -- and as feels good move from carressing to massage to vigorous massage, and finally, 45 to 60 minutes into the session, I incorporate the penis in the same manner, from light to vigorous carresses, stroking, squeezing, generally with a lot of concurrent stimulation of scrotum and chest hairs (don't know why but those are my turn-on spots) -- and then maybe towards the last 15 minutes, I put lube on my penis -- I prefer the liquid lube for this -- which allows me to do things I never would have imagined pleasurable -- not just tight-fisted slow-and-fast stroking, but non-rough squeezing, pinching and "experiencing" every bit of penis from tip down through the scrotum to the root beneath the perinum -- and interestingly the often neglected areas of the penis not associated with orgasm -- the top and sides of head and shaft -- when caressed and stroked squeezed and -- to a degree -- even smashed (and I don't means S & M) -- while giving the soft horny understide a rest -- seems to make for a gratifying slow build to orgasms of almost violent intensity. (I'm not exxagerrating but I could just be naive.) What I have found really intensifies my orgasms is a little bit strange, until one thinks about the physiology involved. Right before orgasm begins, I grasp as much of my scrotum (not testicles) between thumb and fingers of left hand and pull hard down from penis and simultaneously up and away from perienum. What I figured this does is simultaneously activate the erogenous zones around the rectum and where the underside of he penis meets scrotum. These orgasms seem to go on a lot longer than I recall before I figure all this out -- though I have been too busy to clock them. I would guess a minute in some cases. And interestingly, in the case where all this prolonged inadvertently triggers ejaculation without orgasm -- which normally would be a depressing dud waste of an ejaculation and a lot of time -- I have found I can resurrrect the orgasm even after the ejaculation is over and done with -- and in many cases these are the most intense orgasms of all. I have also been able to experience orgasm without ejaculation through these methods, though nowhere near as intense a rush. Though i have never studied them, I imagine this is all verging on tantric or retrograde orgasms.

    (Oh, and I forgot, whatever my masturbation sessions have become, it all started on a randy Sunday in December 2005, when I got inventive with a nice wooden backscrubber from the organic food store, and found I really LOVED vigorously scrubbing my crotch in the shower, from anus to testicles and beyond -- and this also can generate some pretty intensse orgasms which barely touch the penis at all.)

    Maybe you guys can tell me if this is all just normal masturbation and I only think it's so special because I was doing it inadequately for nearly forty years? Or should I start some "Kinky Helping Hands" blog or something?

    I will tell you what though -- while I have some pretty intimate conversations with my close male friends, gay and straight, I don't think I'd ever be comfortable sharing what I just wrote with anybody I hadn't been sleeping with for at least a year!

    ... By the way, I also advise all folks taking any prescription drugs not to stop of modify dosages without consulting with a doctor. SPEAKING FOR MYSELF ONLY, going off anti-depressants or any medication is not great big deal. I modify Rx dosages all the time with the blessings of my physician and a couple specialists -- but only because I've been taking some of these Rxs for over 30 years and because my occupation makes i possible for me to read and comprehend the dense medical jargon which can be found in the "Physician's Desk Reference" (PDR), which is the standard reference for all prescription pharmaceutcials. DISCLAIMER: But, kids, don't try this at home! If somebody is extremely depressed, suicidal, or has a history of chronic or recurrent depression, going on anti-depresants isn't the best idea -- and yet, like most medications, even stuff likek Motrin -- human physiology eventually finds a way to seek equilibrium and nullify, at a molecular level, what a particular anti-depresant is supposed to accomplish. Same thing with heart medications, et cetera. I even know some chronic depressives who intentionally take a month or two per year off of anti-depresants, just to prevent their bodies from compensating from and overcoming them. Anyway, these really aren't wonder drugs, they can't make you happy, and when prescribed improperly they can cause big problems.

    How many know-it-all lectures did I just give in this email? Maybe I'd have better success if I wrote shorter posts?


    "Now, move up your calves and things and visualize your anus, clenched so tight. Breath deeply visualize your anal sphincter pulsing and clenching and quivering as you inhale. Hold your breath and picture your anal spincter as a rubber band pullng tight, tigher, tightest till it's about to snap. And as you continue to hold your breath, feel your tight, taught anus bathed in the sunlight of a summer day, growing warmer and hotter until it boils, then scalds, then scortches and you think you can bear no more. And when you think you absolutely can bear no more, visualize your anus like a white hot star burning out its youth, yellowing into maturitying, browinging out with age, straining to fuse atoms into atoms until ceasing to burn at all, noting left but black spent waaste collapsing into a colorless, lightless, , dimensionlessness of singularity of such density of mass it sinks into its own well of gravity which sucks after it moons, planets, stars and galaxies themselves until so weighty and dense even atoms are squeezed away into its unplumable depths and nothing can escape, neither light nor gravity nor density nor mass nor heat, and all are summed, multiplied, exponentiated, transmigrated one upon another into the very furnace of creation and destruction all bounded within the unboundable nothingness of the sunken dark star between your cheeks. And when it feels as if your lost black hole can shrink and suck no more and your breath can no longer hold, you find that you cannot help but inhale beyond inhalation, as your greedy anus gathers without end, seething pin-prick shadow star which dams an inner universe unto itself and holds you in its endless timeless agony, trapped on horizons of events which never pass nor move no leak nor void whence all remain perpetually frozen and whence none depart, so fierce, tenacious and implacable upon the taught tight endlessly contracting bands of anal sphincter wringing out their pain between your cheeks. And when you think you must pass out or die, when you can wait no more, when breath no longer holds, and every muscle in in the cosmos of your groin groans and gives way, feel your lost anal sphincter swell and pucker, throb and redden in the depths of angry, night, then crack and break in windless thunder and give forth its its secret stuff of starless soil from whence do all men come and go. And only then without your will or knowing you exhale out of your anus through your sphincter and the lost dark star between your cheeks explodes and tinges all within its fecund sphere which ever reaches and expands where no man ever came and whence no man shall come. And you, small mortal left behind to sift the nothingness, forget to breathe, forget to clenche, now free to sift and lavish in the dialating luxury, the loose, lax flexiblity, the end-to-endless versatility of wide-mouth sphincter spreading open anus in the fertile crescent of your cheeks, through which do all things pass and all shall pass away. Now, leave your ass-hole warmly tingling and focust your attention northward across the constellations ... the Twin Testes hung within the Scrotum Nebula which swings over the celstial ecliptic of the Perenium, all spinning from and orbiting around the universal axis, spindle of the soul, the pole of stars, the shaft of ecstacy and and birth and death and nourishment and waste, the Oui of Oui and Pea of Pea and Suck of Cock and Dick of Slick and Prong of Long and Tool of Tools and Treat of Tricks and Lads and Lasses whether in their Cunts or Asses, that which all do crave and adverise and from which nobody shies, the Hood of Man, the Man of Wood, though he with Hood or Hoodless stand, alone or in a party jerk, off-beat and kinky, bent and straight, behold the mighty consetallation Masturbate!"
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,460
    Man’s Man,

    First off, I took no offense from anything you posted, one of the beauties of this Forum is that our user names protect our anonymity and enable us to insulate ourselves from taking anybody’s post too personally, despite the fact we are discussing such personally intimate information. Who knows, I just might be one of your neighbors.

    Well, your latest post is certainly an interesting read. I enjoyed the vivid imagery in the prose for the “Sphincter Relaxation Exercise”, nice creative writing. I see no reason how that could possibly get you banished from this Forum.

    I certainly am not going to be judgmental about an individuals masturbatory practices, what is kinky and/or abnormal to one person may be a regular common practice for another, just be safe and don’t hurt yourself is my credo. The description of your current masturbation regime sounds to me like it would work well in amplifying the physical arousal aspect of an Aneros session, in fact I can envision it leading to an intense super-T. Try it sometime I think you’ll really enjoy it. Good gosh man you don’t have to make every Aneros session a clinical expedition in search of the legendary super-O. This is, after all, about deriving pleasure utilizing our fun little toy, have fun with it, experiment with different positions, etc. Over thinking can be a real session killer.

    Since you seem well acquainted with the self hypnosis/guided imagery techniques, I thought you could employ them to get your mind to focus awareness of the sensations emanating from the genital area and specifically the prostate, during Aneros usage. Additionally, you can implant specific hypnotic suggestions for your body to amplify those sensations of pleasure to higher levels of intensity. These are both elements of the “re-wiring” process. While I recognize that traditional meditation/relaxation focuses upon opening you up to the universe, it can also be used to close you down to focus inwardly as I am sure you are aware. That inward focus was the direction I was hoping you would grab onto for an Aneros session. There is no need to invite the Incubus or Succubus twins to the party.

    Good Vibes to You !
  • Glad you like my intentionally bad prose poem. I was concerned about the "c-word" (female anatomy). But it is a good old fashioned Anglo-Saxon word just like "fuck." And Tony Soprano alone legitmized that. I seem to recall hearing the c-word all over some cable premium show whose name I can't recall -- I know -- I think it was "Entourage" on HBO -- so cunt is no typable.

    No, Incubus / Succubus and their hermaphroditic sibling Incubusucubus are not coming back to any of my sex parties. One was enough, and that was over 20 years ago. Who knew that an anthropology book and some Jungian psychology coulld conjure such creatures -- and very attractive creatures too. But nobody go there, okay?

    On to more substantive matters. I've yet to try yet tonight (really almost dawn here on the east coast), but am about to. The way you are describing things does make sense, the "rewiring". That does help me understand why it doesn't just happen for everybody on the first try. Probably the more hooked into what one thinks it ought or ought not to feel like the harder to rewire.

    And if somebody, such as me, confuses themselves upside down, instead of getting rewired they could turn into haywire.

    Hmm ... I'm thinking about the "rewiring" metaphor. If you thought I was too clinical, wait till you read this:

    There are at least three kinds of memory available in the brain, which I would compare to a computer's:
    1) Hardware [CPU / ROM] (immutable based brain structures/instincts),
    2) Firmware [EPROM / BIOS] (long-term/still-mutable, dendrites hardwing neuron to neuron),
    3) Software [RAM / DISK] (short-term/transient memory/time-limited/self-erasing, chemically based within neurons)

    I assume we all (or most of us) have hardware capable of making Aneros work. I imagine some of us have firmware very compatible and some very incompatible with Aneros. But we all have the capability of rewiring anything (as you mention I believe -- something it took me a long time to really grasp). Fortunately, we can write any software we wish and make short-term memory take precedence over long-term memory, and by doing so, can permanently rewire longterm memory -- which would equate to copying a firmware program to RAM, editing in the necessary changes and flashing it back to BIOS or EPROM or whatever.

    Well, that helps me understand it -- but I think you're right about the clinical thing.

    (What I'm wondering about now is - though I believe sexual orientation is in the hardware -- whether if, as many fundamentalists think, it is not inborn, whether it would be possible for firmware to seem so firm as to believe it hardware and forget it was ever formed from software. (As I recall, memory and experience eventually get turned translated into day-to-day behavior and belief. But you know what? Life is too short. I finished with this argument years ago and it's nice to be nice to both sexes at least for me. However -- somebody did recently dump some theory about "endocrine disrupters" on me and this stuff about fertilizers full of estrogen of all things. Yet the actual human studies showed gay, straight and bi men all had the same proportions of all hormone levels.)

    All that matters for right now is that God did make us all with some VERY versatile sexual equipment. And when I think about the I don't know how many hundreds or thousands of miles of dendrites in the brains of each of us -- well it doesn't make me want to puke. It's fascinating. And yet when you hold a brain in your hand (so I'm told, I wouldn't want to), it has the consistency of room-temperature butter. Forget about computer metaphors, AI has a very long way to go for a computer to have a real orgasm.

    You're right about my clinical take on everything. Well, except writing bad prose poems I guess. That comes from years dealing with stupid health problems I suppose, but really doesn't belong in the bedroom or at least south of navel north of knees.

    Hey, I really like that for a novel title:

    "South of Navel, North of Knees"

    A really sleazy novel, the kind one could actually make significant money off off. Will get right to work on that.

    I didn't think my masturbatory practices would actually offend, but it's not the kind of thing I share with everybody -- correct that -- ANYBODY I know -- at least in recent years.

    In a better world, we could all jerk off around the water cooler I guess -- but that would mean we were all employees of a bathhouse on break.

    I am in a very free-associative mood tonight. Better get to work on that novel. Maybe I'll set it in the Civil War on the Mason-Dixon line.

    I know ... maybe I'll get off this bleeping computer and insert Aneros!

    Thanks for the insights, will let you guys know how it goes.
  • BusterBuster
    Posts: 953
    Hi Man's Man,

    Well, I got through this thread and am amazed at the dialogue that you, Rumel and Darwin have been having. The only area that I feel compelled to comment on has to do what your masturbation practice. It would appear that you have this down. You are not a whip it out, immediate gratification kind of guy. That's great! You have been able to separate the orgasm and the ejaculation. That in itself is something that is huge that not every man knows how to do. I would think that this knowledge would be of great assistance to you in your Aneros practice. The orgasm that you seek has nothing to do with your penis. I would think that when you do experience the Super O (and you will) that you will be better equipped to handle it. You have been at this for a couple of months. I am sure that you realize that is not that long. Keep at it, it will happen. When you least expect it, I am sure.

    I thought a couple of times during my read this morning that you might want to consider KSMO to help you along. It is interesting stuff.

    Good luck to you.

  • (This was to be a quick self-congratulatory and thank-you-to-all not -- and look what it has done, taken over like autonomic writing are an anus full of Aneros! Mea culpa mea culpa!)

    Thanks, Buster, for your encouragement. And Rumel for your insights. It turns out that both of you are exactly right on target. I had a success!

    Rumel, your suggestion about bridging my retraining gap by using some penis touching did the trick. Your insights about p-wave also helped me realize I have been in close vicinity to the goal for quite some time. (I think I was deceived by the fact the this p-wave phenomenon is hard to tell from the overall body vibration/tremor which I have from fibromyalgia. In addition, I guess I realized that I was simply not allowing myself to use what I know how to do, with regard to both self-hypnosis and delayed gratification, and apply all this to just letting the Aneros do it's thing.

    So I did what you suggested, and Buster echoed as well, using gentle carresses of genital and other sensitive areas. I think most men never stop to realize how exquisitely sensitive and expreessive their penises are, rushing to what really isn't the ultimate goal. I like to get off like everybody else, but the gettingi there is so much more satisfying!

    Anyway, I did find that, just brushing the underside of my penis with my index finger was plenty enough to trigger the musclature of anus / prostate, et cetera, to do their thing with no conscious beckoning on my part. It was truly FASCINATING (and very sad) to learn that the point of greatest erotic sensation at least on my penis -- is right where the shaft gives way to the scar from the amputated foreskin -- I hear both sides of this debate, that circumcision doesn't reduce pleasure and that circumcision robs a man of immense pleasure -- just as we read about women being deliberately mutilated in Africa by amputatingi the clitoris -- this cutting away of a man's most sensitve folds of skin and exposing the soft underbelly of the penis which god intended to be sheathed and -- not to be unvirile -- delicate. Pragamatists say a man won't miss what he never knew -- but I think now I actually have some hint of what was lost. Never have talked with uncircumcized men about this though, and how could be possibly compare?

    At any rate, thank God for creating us versatile enough to manifest the intended erotic drives through other available means -- and there are so many erotic zones on one's body if one is open to them!

    So, anyway, back to my narrative -- after some penis caressing, I found I was sufficiently aroused and could maintain arousal by gently caressing other body parts -- namely nipples, chest, armpits, things, scrotum. I beleive that was when my revelation came.

    What I described as "ass pain" was something I could examine and dissect just like I do with the chronic pain I deal with every day. This pain was of an entirely different nature, but quite similar in that what we perceive from our bodies is filtered and compressed -- the actual sensory information sent to the brain is quite masked and distorted. (For example, the sense almost like dull cold one can get when putting hand in scalding water or if hand gets caught in a car door or some such thing.)

    Sooo ... I breathed into this pain, which presented very early on in this exercise -- so I knew it could not be spasm or cramp. Within this pain sensation was hidden the seeds of what I believe is the super orgasm. I can only surmise that I was intellectually blocking it. Because you guys were right on target that I already have the entire repetoire more or less mastered. In effect I have been like a blind ghost haunted by self doubt while staggering around and entirely oblivious to the shaft of white light which leads to the "other side."

    What I found inside the pain was buried arrousal - but not really buried, because I can create this with NO tactile stimulation at all and have been for years through tasteful porn (not really a contradiction) and active fantasizing. Only with Aneros engaged, and trusting its position on sweet spot, it became a whole lot more. Amazing, and I've only begun.

    The sense I refer to which I can generate (with a lot of work sometimes) is pretty much what men feel in their testicles, penis and groin when in the presence of somebody they are drawn to sexually -- what I mean is our body is telling us what society says it should not: "Go find a way to woo that than woman / man to have sex immediately!" What a grand feeling! A feeling which so many religions equate with lust when it is simply an expression of maleness. It's funny (another digression, hopefully brief), I recently, without every having anticipated it, found that the panthesistic beliefs I held for years suddenly gave way to an intense and earnest desire to return to Christianity, and was confronted again with many of its sexual restrictions, but the fact of it is, sexual desire is a gift from God. Every time we feel that coursing through our entire bodies is a blessing -- yet so many people curse themselves for experiencing this. The distinction between natural desire and lust is a grey area, and I'm nobody to rule on this, but I guess my guideline is simply that thoughts and actions which are degrading to myself and/or somebody else are probably not the best idea. Yet I know that even Bible-believinig Christians have active sex fantasies, which seem to be acceptable along with getting more than a little physical, once the marriage date is set (I recall being told about this by a fundamentalist preacher 25 years ago, along with learning from my girlfriend how into receiving but not giving oral sex evangelical men seem to be). To close out this digression, I think that without our natural ability to fantasize sex, Christendom would have ceased to repopulate itself centuries ago, because, to paraphrase scripture, "it is better to marry than to burn."

    Yeah, right -- where do I get time for Anerosing with all this BS of mine? In fact I found over six straight hours this morning -- in fact too long -- with some interesting dozing off for a couple hours in there. But now that I'm on the right track, I think I can Aneros in 1 to 3 hours, or use whatever available time there is. Would suspect that one could master turning on the "Aneros effect" in even a matter of minutes.

    Which gets me back to the narrative -- it is strange, what Aneros does down there, I had actually already experienced but not trusted and thereby thwarted. This morning, I just allowed myself to enjoy arrousing myself by gentle body carresses and then deeply meditative sexuall fantasies -- which according to my preferences align well with Aneros, and involved giving and receiving anal and oral gay sex.

    What is so odd about Aneros now that it is working is I know wht people have said about it "moving on its own". For me, it's mostly not like the thing moves around down there -- unless I get a sudden thrill and hard contraction, which is nice -- but rather a steady build of the p-wave thing Rumel described.

    It honestly seemed to come from someplace other than my ass -- like a Ouijia board or something -- or what I've heard those things are like since I've never used one. But all it is is an ingeniously engineered neuromuscular bioifeedback loop.

    Well not "all it is" -- I just mean the underlying mechanics. I do see now how this is a real meditative alterred state, as I believe I read along time ago in probably one of Mayfield's posts. It is quite hypnotic and VERY relaxing -- somegthing I need right now. I would be VERY interested in seeing EEG readings or brain SPECT studies before, during and after the use of one of these devices. In addition, because -- as I mentioened in an earlier post -- meditation does take me to other places and I have a great interest in paranormal phenomena, I am very curious how this alterred state might fit into that -- but don't worry, Incubus and Succubus are not in this picture -- they really seem tame compared to the psychic energy I suspect can be focused using Aneros.

    But -- getting back down to the intended usage -- what I actually experienced was -- once I realized I had broken through and made the connection, which would not have occured but for insights and encouragement from you guys -- rolling erotic pleasure of varyiing degrees, with no physcial effort on my part whatsoever, and for a large portion without any need to actively fantasize at all -- even sometimes hitting an equisite peak, though I don't think I have even begun to tap what this kind of orgasm can be. Sometimes my penis was erect, sometimes it was flaccid, and I pretty much ceased to care what it did -- because as you guys had said and I had suspected, this is a different kind of orgasm.

    I was going to say it was synonymous with the mounting arousal which preceeds ejaculation, but it really is not that. What it seems to be to me (and sorry I am so clinical, but I have to dissect everything it seems) is a whole new erotic volume about how the groin below the penis is really the master and creator of all orgasms, and how a simple biomechanical feeback device (the Aneros) can benignly trick the primary movers in teh orgasmic experience -- being the musculature of anus, sphincter, rectum, prostate, et cetera -- into functioning outside the "normal" context in an open-ended time-dialation -- dialated both with regard to spreading what "normally" might take 15 to 60 seconds of muscular contraction over hours (even days, weeks, years -- at work, at church, weddings, baby showers, funerals, Wiccan Sabbaths, et cetera) -- as well as (and I mean this sincerely) possibly manipulating the progression of time (which is really an illusion anyway) -- one or more of the following: expanding the orgasmic experience to a many-hours timeframe, condensing our timeframe perception (perhaps spltting off some portion of it) so that many hours seem to pass during the seconds of "normal" orgasm; even -- and I'm really not joking and don't think, based on research and meditation prior to owning Aneros, a flight of fancy -- manipulating space/time itself, even if on some localized, relative basis.

    But there I go again. Maybe I should save such speculations for a peer-reviewed article in the "Journal of Paranormal Research" entitled:

    "Localized Warping and Refolding of the Space/Time Continuum,
    Mastery of Alterred Erotic Psychical States,
    and Spiritual Pilgrimage into the Realm of Eros and Beyond,
    through Sustained Male Anal Ogasmic Meditations,
    via the 'Aneros' Anal-Erotic Biomechanical Feedback Appliance"

    Well, there really wouldn't be room for the article after that title -- but once this hits hits devotees of the current ghost hunting fad, Aneros sales are bound to absolutely climb exponentially!

    Seriously, once I have the erotic pleasure part down to science, I will explore the spiritual side, and think my journal article title is maybe not a joke at all. If only Nikola Tesla were alive today, just think what he could do for our genitalia? (If not up on Tesla, google:

    "Philadelphia Experiment"
    "Death Ray"
    "Nigagra Falls" Hydroelectric Dynamo
    Edison Tesla AC DC "Electric Chair"

    ... though so far as I know neither Tesla nor Thomas Edison nor Alexander Graham Bell nor anybody involved in the Manhattan Project ever had sex lives -- but Albert Einstein did, with his cousin Elsa, whom he dumped his first wife Mileva for.

    Okay, I'm getting punchy, not have had a lot of sleep. Here's a final idea which may also not be a flight of fancy, new book -- if anybody reading is a publisher, send me a not -- else I think I'll just shop this around on spec to a few ass-friendly publishing houses:

    "Anal History
    and the Heritage of Eroticism of the Derriere
    from the Ass-Masters in their Own Words and Art:
    from Cromagnon Man to Barry Mannilow
    and Pretty Much All Guys named "Percy"



    Prologue: Fellowship of the Ass-Masters

    Chapter 1: The Ass Crack Heard Round the World

    Chapter 2: Cheeks of Fire
    - Short Timeline of Flatulence

    Chapter 3: The Ass Who Could Talk
    - Critical Analysis of Numbers 22-24

    Chapter 4: David, Jonathan & Goliath
    - Three's a Crowd, Part I

    Chapter 5: Plato does Aristotle does Alexander the Great
    - Three's Company

    Chapter 6: Phillip, Bartholemew & Judas
    - Three's a Crowd, Part II

    Chapter 7: Turning the Other Cheek
    - Teachings of *** CHAPTER CUT DUE TO BLASPHEMY ***

    Chapter 8: Quiver through the Anus
    - Saint Sebastian's Secret Sin

    Chapter 9: "Monks do it, nuns do it,
    even evil priests and alterred boys
    and bonnie lasses and their hunky lads do it ..."
    - Nunneries & Monkeries of the Dark Ass Ages

    Chapter 10: Michaelangelo, da Vinci & "Winky" de Medici
    - Ass-Divas of the Rennaissance

    Chapter 11: Queen Victoria's Secret
    - Inventing the "Prince Albert"

    Chapter 12: 600,000 Asses of Blue & Grey, 2,000 More at Five-Points
    - Assinine Truths Behind the War Between the Asses

    Chapter 13: Abraham Lincoln Beds Joshua Speed
    - Assassination and Before, Part I:
    the Tug-of-War Between the Sheets

    Chapter 14: Running-Stool, Bowels-No-Move, Dances-with-Turds
    - Unsung Asses of Native America

    Chapter 15: Ass-Gas Attack!
    - an Ass-centric interpretation of Ass-War I

    Chapter 16: Great Gas-by!, Ass-Flappers, Asses Splash Wall Street
    - the Gassy-Ass Twenties Roar & Fart Away

    Chapter 17: Atomic Asses and Manifest Destiny
    - Allied Ass-wipe Axis Power,
    Put the Chill on Ass-War II

    Chapter 18: Like ... It's A Gas, Man!
    - the Unknown Assy Beats and Isaac Assimov

    Chapter 19: Alan Turing & His Magical Turing Machine
    - Ass meets Computer, Part I,
    the Early Years

    Chapter 20: "The Asses my friend, are hanging in the wind ..."
    - the Civil Rights Era does Asses Wrong

    Chapter 21: "Ass-knot wet her cunty can doo-doo poo-ppo ...
    Ass-wet poo can poo doo doo cunty"
    - Ass-ass-ination & Before, Part II:
    the Making of Jackie Onassass

    Chapter 22: Passing Ass Gas on Sunset Boulevard
    with Cary, Rock, Montgomery, Mike Brady, Richard Gere
    & Other Celebrity Asses Who Are Dead
    ... & Don't Forget Barry Mannilow Who Might As Well Be!
    - Unhappy Ends of the Golden Ass of Hollywood

    Chapter 23: Assuming the Position, Asses In and Out of Uniform
    - Does "Assume" Really Make an "Ass' out of "U" &"Me"?)

    Chapter 24: Bad Asses - Promiscuous Deceptions in a Time of Plague

    Chapter 25: "Yeah, and monkeys might fly out of my ass!"
    - Madonna, Liberace, Wicked Witch of the West,
    Magilla Gorilla and the Modern Cult of the Ass)

    Chapter 26: TomKatt, Billary & the Electric Kool-Aid Ass-Wipe Toilet
    - Beards & Other Modern Conveniences

    Chaptel 27: Ass-Bag versus Ass-America:
    - Study in Conservative / Liberal On-Air Political Asses

    Chapter 28: The Cloistered Ass Comes Out Loud & Proud
    - Ass-Liberation and it's Nefarious Hidden Agenda

    Chapter 29: The Ass Ceiling
    Tacit Exclusion of the Ass-Challenged

    Chapter 29: ASCII, EBCIDIC or Unicode, You Decide
    - Ass meets Computer, Part II:
    Age of the Global Village

    Chapter 30: The Intimate Asstronaut
    - Toilet Seats, Horniness, Hemmoroids & Sperm at Zero-G

    Chapter 32: Windows-for-Asses & Anal Mice
    - Ass meets Computer, part III:
    Advent of Rectal Computing ini the 21st century

    Epilogue: Devolution of the Ass & Beyond
    - Transcript of a Panel of Reknowned Scholarly Asses
    Debate the Historical Context & Future Destinty
    of the Contemporary Ass,
    the High Price of Rump Roast,
    and Cigarette-Butt-Burn-Mania
    in an Age without Panties or Undershort,
    Rife with Boxers-or-Briefs Ambiguity,
    Support Hose Run Rampant,
    Potty Privileges Provided Only Paying Patrons,
    and Poor People Pooping Publically,
    while signs and wonders asscribe
    and Earth passes from age of Pisses
    into the Dawning of the Age of a Hairy Ass
    Gone Bald, Omnipotent, Untight, Lazy
    & Maniacally Flatuent
    While Gas Planets Impassionately Pass


    (In closing, I think I need to say this based on my frank prior blogs, because of what the would naturally consider anybody to consider: No, I have never exprienced any form of hallucination or psychotic state. Just a few prophetic voices here and there.)

    (*** Aneros, you are free to contact me regarding rights to use this blog entry in upcoming advertisments. Available as coporate spokesperson and ass-model ***)

    And, yes, I do have way too much time on my hands, and idle hands are ... going to get hair on their palsm .. and despite Aneros I really need to go out on a real date!

    Anyway, besides apalling all of you, I can put all this material to good use in my novel half written since inventing in last post:

    "South of the Navel, North of the Kneese"
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,460
    Man’s Man,

    I just about fell out of my chair laughing from reading your post, that was absolutely hilarious. I am glad that you had a good minor breakthrough session with much less frustration as evidenced by your humorous post. To para-quote professor Henry Higgins “Bye George, I think he’s got it!” :lol:
    By the way if you haven’t already read it, I suggest you read ‘darwin’ s poem regarding his first super-O.

    You and ‘darwin’ could collaborate on that book, South of the Navel, North of the Knees , and have ‘BF Mayfield’ be your technical editor. I’m sure it would be a best seller (at least on this Forum).

    It’s great that you made some progress, even though it wasn’t a super-O, I think you now see the potentiality when you put all the parts together in developing your unique formula for the Aneros pleasure ride. Keep the good attitude, suspend the expectations, and enjoy the feelings. The truth is out there, the super-O is stalking you, smile when it grabs you and totally surrender to the bliss.
  • darwindarwin
    Posts: 1,335
    ok, MM, I proudly hand you the crown.

    previously i think my wacked posts took it for "most out there."

    but clearly i have been surpassed.

  • Rumel, thanks for enjoying my humor, sending me the link to darwin's poem, which I've brought up to read, and for all the encouragement. What I experienced was pretty intense actually though I'm not sure what the super-O or even the super-T you referred to a bit back are supposed to feel like. But will keep trying.

    darwin, thank you for the crown, but it remains for me to read your poem (or "pome" as we mispronounce in the south) and determine whether I must hand the crown back.

    Or better yet, why not a forum classification for "Anerotic Manuscripts"?

    And here's a question, for you guys or anybody else -- I found I managed to get either a massive hemmoroid or else just swollen tissue which pretty much precluded insertion of Aneros at all. I don't have much experience with hemmoroids -- and recall one can usually feel a vein in them, which I don't here. And I never knew that such a thing could extend within the rectum.

    I honestly didn't do anything strenuous with my Aneros, or force it in any way. Only thing I can think is that I kept it inserted for too long and my rear end complained.

    It was pretty weird how I discovered this. I'm accustomed to Aneros just popping up there, but the day after my Epiphany of the Erotic Anus, I met resistence. Thinking I was just tight, I applied gentle pressure and waited, but Aneros, he no move. More deliberate pressure did not hurt, but it was obvious that forcing the thing all the way in was not a good idea.

    (By the way, there was no bowel movement blocking the way, at least not for about another day.)

    Any advice on this, whether or not this is a common pitfall, and how to avoid in future, will be welcomed.

    ... And by the way, I realized I have to add (at least) one new chapter to the revised edition of "Anal History" -- how could I have forgototen:

    Sissy or Saint? Who names their son "Francis anyhow?"
    - The life and times of Saint Francis of Assassi
    (Sorry, Francis, but monks and nuns I've know do have
    excellent senses of humor, especially about themselves.)
  • darwin, I'm sorry, but the crown is yours ... at least for now. I was expecting a comic poem, and you do have a wonderful sense of humor with a great sense of how to use repetition to underscore irony -- but it was a lovely and deep-felt poem I thought. Showed me how little I have yet experienced and how much I have to look foward to. I don't know why Aneros would not pay to use at least part of your work on its upcoming 3 am cable infommercial to play simultaneously on the Sci Fi, History and Discovery channles. Your poem reminds me of several literary figures, among them e e cummings, Walt Whitman, and especially James Joyce. (And certainly there are others.)

    (I am not well-read in James Joyce but once shared a house with a Joyce scholar who eventually faileld to get his PhD due to a spending addtion which led to bankruptsy. Anyway, the passage I believe I am thinking of is the very end of "Ullyses", wherein a woman, in stream of consciousness, remembers sexual abandon with a lover -- with the repeated, almost chantlike phrase, "And I sad yes," punctuating her memories of fleshly delight.)

    Keep writing, darwin, I think you have somthing to say. And in tribute I will now share the absolute antithesis of what you wrote, the most banale poem I have ever written, from 2003 (and copyrighted by the way), so nobody try to claim and publish as your own -- as if anybody ever would!). Try reading it aloud, espcially the second verse:




    O, fuck!
    Fuck, fucking, fucked.
    Fucker. Fucked fucker. Fucking fuck. Fucking fucked fuck-fucker.
    Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck yourself. Fuck off.
    Fucked-up. Fucked-with. Fucked-over. Fuck-o-rama.
    Go fuck, fuck-and-go, fuck-and-run, bloody-fuck.
    Fast-fuck, slow-fuck, lucky-fuck, yucky-fuck.
    Fuck-wad, dumb-fuck, finger-fuck, fuck-face.
    Fuck-and-tell, dry-fuck, fake-fuck, dead-fuck.
    Flexible, facile, fickle. Fuckable.
    O, fuck!


    O, fuck!
    Buck, chuck, cluck, duck, luck, muck, puck, pluck, shuck, snuck, struck, stuck, suck, tuck, truck, yuck.
    Cuckold, huckster, knuckle, ruckus,
    Honeysuckle, huckleberry, buckwheat, knucklebone,
    Unbuckle, moonstruck, potluck, sitting-duck,
    Muckraker, swashbuckler, bloodsucker, motherfucker.
    O, fuck!


    O, fuck!
    Let’s fuck! Everybody fuck!
    I fuck, you fuck, they fuck, we all fuck.
    Let’s fuck everybody, everybody fucks!
    I fuck you, you fuck me, we fuck him, he fucks her, she fucks them, they fuck me.
    I had fucked, you have fucked, they were fucking, he does fuck, she is fucking, it will fuck.
    Someday we shall have fucked.
    I’m fucked. You’re fucked. We’re fucked. They’re fucked.
    He's fucked. She's fucked. Big fuck, fuck this.
    Fuck everybody, everybody’s fucked!
    Fuck. Fuck.
    O, fuck!

    ... well, I know what that makes me want to do -- right! go study Hebrew and Greek -- which I'm only beginning to do. "Lot's of sex in the Bible," my Shakespeare professor always liked to say. Interestingly, while all this Aneros stuff has been mistranslated as "sodomite," the actual Hebrew means "male temple prostitute." I'm not versed in the Greek equivalents yet. All I can say in Greek besides church words like "agape", "philios", "eros", "kenosis" and "eklectos", I learned from the kids next door when growing up:

    "caa-caa", as in: "You're caa-caa, Jimmy!"

    Hebrew I don't know, but here's a little poorly composed Yiddish:

    "Enough with the kibitzing un kvetching un shvitzing already!
    It would kill you to stop shtopln your shmekl? Oy…"

    Yeah, I know, stick with English ... or orgasmic groans and grunts! ... Ihk go toyre shtudim.
  • ERRATA: "Anal History"

    Oh ... I forgot ... and this is VERY important ...

    I made a mistake in the chapter title which was subtitled:

    "Assassination, Part II: The Making of Jackie Onassass"

    The title should have read:

    "Ass-knot wetter cunty can doo-doo pooh ...
    Ass-wet pooh can doo-doo pooh cunty."

    ... Now, I happened to have shared my "Anal History" with a rather libidinous friend who met her current husband (#4 or #5, I forget -- I've only dated her beforer #4 and atttended the last two weddings). That she lives in Dallas now is ironic, because she's a big fan of the Kennedys -- so she refuses to visit Delay Plaza ever.

    This friend became FURIOUS when I shared my wry yet sad poem about the death of John-John, so I was surprised, she didn't TOTALLY cuss me out for my "Jackie" chapter -- she said she didn't get some of the referneces, and in fact, I slipped up on several -- one would have to work in computer science to have anay idea who "Alan Turing" was, for example.

    So I told my friend what I tell you if also not getting it:

    Read the title aloud maybe seven time over, till your tongue does not tiwst, and you can rattle it off rapidly. Don't think about the words, just hear the sounds:

    "Ass-knot wetter cunty can doo-doo pooh ...
    Ass-wet pooh can doo-doo pooh cunty."

    (Or am I thinking this too erudite, in a slapstick prosy manner anyway?)

    Anyway, enjoy! So many idiots like to say "all art is political" where in fact it is all sexual. In particular, poetry, as shown by Emily Dickinson, is sexual craving distilled to its purest form.

    So there will be a big treat when my super-O comes!

  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,460
    Man’s Man,

    The condition you described of either swollen rectal tissue or a hemorrhoid is a bit troublesome, I haven’t encountered that condition myself. Not trying to force it was the wise course of action and I’m glad it is not causing you any pain. It could be a case of your previous days intense experience has stimulated increased blood flow to the area and thus the residual swelling effect. I recall having read another post wherein the user reported increased sensitivity and swelling around the anus after an Aneros session. Hopefully, this condition will resolve itself with a few days rest and Aneros abstinance. Obviously if it doesn’t abate in a couple of days or it gets worse you will want to consult a physician promptly.

    The super-T from ‘darwin’s GLOSSARY :

    super-T - Super traditional orgasm. An ejaculatory orgasm from traditional penis stimulation (copulatory, manual or oral) but occurring with the Aneros inserted and having: deep and stronger ejaculatory contractions; more ejaculatory contractions; significantly more ejaculate; other responses similar to those in a super-O.”

    You already have all the elements to get there, it’s just a matter of getting your “software” to parse into “firmware” thence into “hardware” with sufficient megahertz to induce a warp-core breach.

    Good Vibes to You !
  • Thanks, rumel, for the anus info (can't believe I'm typing this). I had also thought this was not hemmoroidal -- but probably could lead to such a thing. I am wondering:

    1. Is this the kind of thing which happens regularly after anal sex?

    2. Then how do "bottoms" deal with such a thing?

    3. Maybe this is an intial thing, with my rectum getting used to me paying attention to and giving it things to play with. So perhaps with time such symptoms would abate?

    4. I wonder if my use of a gel form of baby oil for lube (which I find better than KY) could have anything to do with this?

    5. I wonder if the rectum just has to develop callouses.

    6. Maybe this is like when I go work out and later my muscles hurt for a day or two?

    Whatever, I know my penis has been happy to receive some attention again which his nemesis my anus is on hiatus. Why can't we all just get along?

    As to a physician, yeah, I'll have my doctor give a look-see. I've been wanting to share with him about Aneros and super-Os. It will be very awkward though because you knoww what? That's what happens when you're gay and buddies with your straight doctor. My physician is straight, takes a traditional view that homosoexuality is a sin, but has many gay friends and judges none of us. I don't know many Christians like this, so I have enjoyed becoming friends and collaborating compiling some medical databases for his use. But because of the straight/gay thing, there is a sexual overtone, sometimes homoerotic, which my doctor does realize though he would not be interesting in pursing it. Some things a doctor has to do for a male patient have just become too personal. Early on he gave me a prostate exam (six years ago), but I don't think either of us would feel comfortable doing that again, with all he knows about me.

    I recall how he backed away in his desk chair once when I got down on hands and knees to check out his computer's cable connection and turned around to find myself right at his t crotch-level, about two feet away. A couple years ago, he couldn't find at first the lumps around my left nipple which I was worried about (and which turned out to be transient and benign "mastoid tumors"), so I started feeling it too. And there we were, basically massaging and kneeding my tit together for about a minute, before my doctor looked a bit embarrassed, withdrew and busied himself writing up a referral for a mamogram.

    Last year I had some crotch thing going on, and mentioned it in passing near the end of an office visit. I waited till the end because I no longer felt okay about showing my privates. My doctor said, "Well do you want to show me the problem so I can examing it?" And I said, in a humorous way, "Not really." And he said, "Well, if you continue to have a problem, you're going to have to show it to me ... or another physician." That's when I dropped my drawers and said, "I don't know why I said that, go ahead and look." But we both knew exactly what was going on.

    I think it's unfair that my doctor buddy doesn't have to show me his privates, and I really think he should be required to. I really really really want to see! I won't deny I feel an attraction.

    Shamans in native cultures share their patient's illness as a means to heal them. I'm sure this must include the shaman dropping drawers. It's like a movie or TV show I once saw where an actress felt too embarrassed to film her nude scene. So the director ordered all the crew and any observers to strip buck naked right there -- or find the exit door. And the movie scene got shut down just like that!

    ... Now how did this post move from anal swelling to antics in the examing room with doctor/buddy?
  • rumelrumel
    Posts: 2,460
    Man’s Man,

    In response to your inquiries:
    1.) I don’t know as I have never had anal sex with anyone.
    2.) I don’t know.
    3.) I hope this is the case for you.
    4.) The baby oil could be a problem, different people do have varying sensitivities/allergies to certain chemical compounds, trying an alternate lubrication is certainly worth attempting.
    5.) God, I hope not, I can’t imagine giving my rectum so much action that I developed calluses. Over time the sensations being generated by the Aneros action on the anus/rectum do get reinterpreted by the brain (“rewiring”) as pleasurable.
    6.) Could be just a reaction to a particularly intense session. I know I have experienced some lower back pain muscle soreness as a result of lower body convulsions due to multiple dry-O’s.
    It is important to keep all your body parts happy in equal measure.

    Your relationship with your physician needs to be based upon trust and professionalism, whatever takes place outside those parameters is between the two of you to determine.
  • Thanks for your interesting answers to my questions -- I had thought I was posting these to general readers and did not intend to obligate you alone to respond. It appears that I err in leltting my sense of humor seep into what I pose as questions, forgetting taht prose reads flat, and what I say may be taken in a totally literal sense. That leads to a lot of email misunderstandings, lost jobs, ended marriages, wars started, et ceterera -- so I've learned over the years.

    As to my physician and I, it is only because we have such a strong trut bond that the friendshp sometimes intrudes upon the doctor-patient relationship. But does not get in the way of healthcare. I just find the occasional awkwardnesss humorous. As to "whatever takes place outside those parameters" -- I'm not sure what you mean. It's unethical for a patient to become sexually involved with a patient, and I'd never risk the friendship by pursuing such a thing.

    Thanks for rthe vibes!

    (My anus is still unhappy by the way, and it appears to actually be a hemmorid now. (Not that there's anyting wrong with that.))